The 613 Languages of Love - Derech Mitzvosecha Ahavas Yisroel #2

foreign um so um hmm a okay we'll begin in a moment good morning everybody thank you for joining us welcome we continue today the second shear on the mimer of the tzamak zadek in derek mitzvah easter sinners israel mitzvahs ava's israel the prohibition against loathing despising hating another jew and the mitzvah of loving another jew this is in the classic work of the tamaksadek se for mitzvahs was israel we learned the first two pages we're up to page huff test aleph 29a or page 57 please open your source sheets if you're on the zoom you could see the source sheet in chat you can go to the yeshiva.net and see the source sheets as well so today's class is dedicated by chana zelda minkowitz in tribute in honor of her birthday on the second day of year mazel tov happy birthday laureates she's been a student here for many many years and we wish you a tremendous year of with happiness health prosperity nachas and all the blessings especially that you share a birthday with bei's ear but he is the birthday is bae's ear te ference veras class is also dedicated by harav david and rifka feldman in loving memory of her brother who passed away last week ravi syrah mayor ben rip shmuel isaac halevi popek to colorado for many many years and passed away last week tahini said may he remain an eternal source of blessing and light and inspiration for you and the entire mishpacha and everybody should have koltov batayva nirvanigla only revealed goodness and blessings thank you let's summarize very briefly the theme of the first chapter of this mitzvah that's of this mimer of this discourse of the time i want to also remind everybody that it's a little sad i don't know for some people it's sad for some people that's happy this is our last custody's morning class in hibernation for now it's been two years we went on to zoom i think a week after the corona two year a little more than two years ago uh and uh monday morning we're gonna continue uh live in person on 18 for shay road 7 45 a.m that's monday tuesday thursday 7 45 till 8 30. everybody's invited in person 18 for shay road downstairs that's the main show of era again monday 7 45 and it will be streamed live by azir hashem so all of you who are out of town or can't make it you could also watch the live stream on the yeshiva.net hashem okay so the tamak sadiq explained that the core the inner the inner source the inner meaning of the mitzvah of avas israel is based on the fact that essentially when we look at reality from a deeper perspective we discover that all of our souls are interconnected with each other and therefore it would be like the limbs of a body even though every limb has its own unique function and every organ and every bone and every sinew and every artery and every nerve and every nerve ending and every neuron and of course every cell which makes up the chemistry of the body everyone has its unique contribution its unique function its unique flavor its unique personality its unique dimension as the mishna says and in san mises no two people are alike no two souls are alike like different limbs of the body because if they would be alike the one of them would be superfluous hashem doesn't make anything in vain but each is part of a singular organism each is therefore connected to the other one in the most intimate and intricate way so therefore if you're really in touch with reality if you're in touch with your own reality love is the most organic natural and deepest state of reality if i really love me meaning if i love the real me i love you because you and i are deeply deeply connected we're one if i hate me then that means also i hate you and if i hate you it means i really hate me when i separate myself from another jew when i detach from you when i reject you what it really means he says it's a form of spiritual mutilation and that's why thyrizal said that before you dive in in the morning you should say this is one of the most amazing ideas in this mind why did arizona say that before you darwin you should accept upon yourself the mitzvah of loving another jew like you love yourself he says because davening is going up to hashem it's aligning yourself with hashem and what's the big halacha about a carbon you're not bring a blemished animal as an offering so he says if i go up to hashem and i am having discord and contention with another person i hate you i'm a balmoon i'm blemished i rejected some of my limbs i rejected one of my parts god says i don't recognize you where are you i want you i want the full you i want you in your full presence i want you in your full wholesomeness but what hate does is hate detaches ourselves from ourselves it's worthwhile to quote here a very beautiful insight i heard we have in our community of jewish originally from montreal de bios of chess series he lives now at least part time in muncie and he shared with me that once in montreal it was friday night and they had a guest that came to the community hagar and rip schneider cutler who was the rashishiva of lakewood and the schneider cutler there was like a nick shabbos friday night a butter a beautiful insight the possibility a lice is going to do what does lysis guide it do mean you know what lysis guido do means toyota prohibits a jew from scraping off his or her skin as a sign of grief and mourning there were pagan tribes that when somebody would die they would they would mutilate themselves and they would scratch off and scrape off part of their skin as a sign of grief the titus says do not do that do not remove your hide your epidermis as a sign of grief is guided in in the gomorrah says in your vomits that if you'd gimmel some of you are learning your vampires life is guided means like this the word says that means a group a unit right a good good so the gemara says lay says go to the don't splinter the jewish community into different groups like in one city don't create you know fragmented situations fragmented communities fragmented courts fragmented what they did so the maharao in gurari asks a question usually when the ghazal give an interpretation for aposic it has to be connected somehow to the literal interpretation there has to be some connection but here the two interpretations seem so far-fetched literally like this guy to do means what don't don't scrape off the skin from your body and the gemara says no license guy to do means don't splinter up into different communities it like seems to be such a far-fetched interpretation schneider said it's really the same interpretation because all the jews are like one body when you splinter and you separate jews from each other it's like separating skin from your own body and that's what that samadhika is explaining here so therefore when i show up for davening what's happening davening is like a carbon right the gemara says that phillis bamakum karbanas tikkun the idea of tafila is an offering the word carbon comes from the word kirov that's what it says in kabbalah say for habaya the word carbon usually it's translated as sacrifice but that's not an accurate translation the word carbon doesn't mean sacrifice the word carbon means close you know the difference right sacrifice sacrifice means you just sacrifice carbon means you come close you're not just sacrificing you're not just giving yourself up you're becoming close you may be sacrificing external things in order to become close so the carbon is experienced today in davening where we become aligned with our source and in the source that samadhik says all souls are connected in the source it's like the brain if you come to the brain and you say sorry i'm not coming with the other part of the body get rid of the leg the brain says sorry if you want to come to me the entire body has to be here imagine you come to the doctor you say i don't care about the second part of my body you can cut it off get rid of it and it doesn't work that way the brain says no no no no we want everything we want if there's a little pain even in the nail the brain feels that the brain experiences it so he says in davening when i show up to the source when i show up to the brain the shrine is like the brain i can't be a balmoun and therefore that reason said before darwining you should accept the mitzvah of ahafte and it's really a very powerful thing to do there are those who darwin and the siddhar based on the nusakh of the arizona so you say it anyway but when you say it to do it with kavanaugh to do it with attentiveness because sometimes what we say in the siddha is just you know robotic you're so used to it even those who david no ashkenaz or different nuskayas no saks foreign this is a tremendous thing that you may consider adding to your daily schedule that before davening before you start davening before you start after the brachas before you start mataivo yakov and whatever you say before davening to incorporate what irizal said before davening i accept upon myself the mitzvah of loving you like i love me and the balsh explains here why this is essential to the journey of david this is a very brief summation of what we learned in the last class you can review it the first chapter it's an intricate chapter and now we go to chapter two of this mimer mitzvah zoo [Music] and yes law a very very uh a very beautiful explanation toof top means a beautiful explanation for this mitzvah it's not just love another person like you love yourself because it's a nice thing to do the ramban asks a question how could you even love somebody like you love yourself but we explained that it's really a form of ultimate love self-love when when you love your real self when you love your soul when you don't only love your externality some people just love their watch or their suit or their label designs or their car but they don't love themselves you know that right a lot of people they don't love themselves but if you really love yourself you love your neshama you appreciate your true self so then it's organic it's innate because you are part of my soul so if i can't get along with you if i have to hate you it means that i can't get along with me there's a certain part of me that is really perturbing me so he says after all of this there's another incredible reason and explanation in the goodness that a person accomplishes for himself or herself and the whole world when we fulfill this mitzvah and on the contrary god forbid when we obliterate this mitzvah and transgress the negative commandment of hating somebody else fascinating question the gemara says in massachusetts a non-jew came to shama and wanted he should teach him the whole terror while he's standing on one leg meaning in a few seconds or in a few minutes how long can you stand on one leg for yeah the random describes how do you know you're an old man or you're a sick person if you can't stand on one leg and tie your shoe tie your other shoe or take it off how long can people stand on one foot not for long yeah so he wants the whole turret on one foot so shyam i threw him i rejected him hillel said what you dislike to be done to you don't do to anybody else madala sunny what you hate lechavra to your friend loisava don't do it that's the whole toyota and everything else is commentary now go study the commentary the whole title is a commentary on this statement so the semester asks a question why did hilo convey to him the message in the negative why not in the positive he could have quoted the possible love your fellow like yourself why does hillary have to invent a new way of saying it you have a pulsar the person wants to know what's the whole tire so tell them you want the whole tire on one foot no he says it in the negative what you dislike to be done to you don't do it anybody else why not in the positive care about somebody else like you care about yourself that's how the titan says it now you might say it's interesting how he asks you might say hillary wanted to speak in aramaic the language of the time was aramaic is in hebrew hillary was talking to a gentile he wanted to say that in aramaic so the democratic says look at targa monkolos the uncle is translated means you should love in aramaic your friend also in aramaic kawasaki like yourself also in aramaic all of the positive hillel didn't do that instead hillel chose to say it in the negative what you hate for yourself don't do to somebody else why not what you like for yourself do to somebody else you could say it in aramaic by the way this is a question of the martial the martial in in messages asks this question explains fascinating america he could have said it love your fellow like yourself but by saying it in the negative what you dislike to be done to you don't do it anybody else he's explaining the mitzvah in a profounder way and he's also explaining why this is the whole tita hillel doesn't only want to tell this person be a nice person be a gentleman he doesn't only want to convey the golden rule hillel is telling him this is the whole toyota remember the person came and didn't ask for a lecture on love he asked him to teach him all of judaism while he's standing on one foot so hillary said i'll give it to you what you dislike to be done to you don't do it anybody else this is explaining in a deeper way and showing why this is the whole toyota and why the whole toyota is a commentary on this which apparently doesn't make sense as he said at the beginning of the mimer so much of toyota is not a commentary on love what does not eating onion kipper have to do with love what does putting on full enough to do with love what does keeping shampoos have to do with love what does darwini menu have to do with love what does eating kosher have to do with love what does not wearing sharpness have to do with love what does lightning hanukkah candles or reading the magilla and purim have to do with love what does not working or not eating comments on pesach or getting rid of your comrades have to do with love there are mitzvahs that have to do with love don't steal and don't hurt somebody and don't insult somebody and don't gossip and don't slander and don't lie and don't murder and don't commit adultery that's all about relationships but many of the mitzvahs are not that's what is the beginning of the mime by bahila saying these words what you dislike to be done to you don't do it anybody else he was explaining the profundity of the mitzvoth and thus why this constitutes the whole trade and everything else is common there the tsa begins to explain behind what this means is we have a famous expression and it's a very natural phenomena we all know this a person has a hard time seeing his own faults a person doesn't see his own faults we call them blind spots we call it confirmation bias a person is bias it's hard for me to see my own flaws right aina pirusha doesn't mean it doesn't mean that a person is completely in denial and a person is completely unaware of any flaws on the contrary a person could know a lot more about his own flaws and his own deficiencies and his own inappropriate behaviors more than anybody else will ever know why shades somebody else only sees me from the outside but i know what's happening inside so as much as somebody could see me and see what's going on in me ultimately they can only see externalities but you know yourself in a way that nobody else could know you because you know your thoughts and you know your emotions and you know your feelings so if you have if you're if you're dealing with flaws if you're dealing with wounds if you're dealing with traumas if you're dealing with deficiencies if you're dealing with inappropriate behaviors you know it better than anybody else so what do we mean when we say in other words where a person doesn't see his own flow come on you know if you're just a little honest you know your flaw is better than anybody else i know it but it doesn't occupy so much space to affect me it's as though i don't see it because self-love naturally a person's self-love is so powerful in a good way that i'll culp shovel love covers up all sins so that samadhik says it begins with myself i may know my flaws i may know my deficiencies i may know them better than anybody else i know them better than anybody else but when i'm aware of them it remains something of almost cerebral knowledge i know about it because the powerful love i have to myself covers over this awareness that the ava so that this knowledge of my flaws remains somewhat peripheral shallow deal today the knowledge of my flaws doesn't affect hopefully me that i start hating myself i start loathing myself we're talking about a healthy person the idea the knowledge of my flaws doesn't translate into me getting emotionally invested in how bad i am and therefore they don't occupy space that i should be affected that's what it means a person doesn't see his own flaws it doesn't mean he doesn't know about them it means shenishka it gets submerged in this battle it gets subsumed and obliterated in the tremendous self-love which covers over and eclipses all of my own sins but goodness market so that this knowledge remains only superficial it doesn't really permeate my heart to the point that i start denigrating myself unloading myself but when you see my flaws via vinoy say and you see my inappropriate behavior year goes might i'm going to get upset why aphopishi daya batsma shamus so why you know that it's true why is it it's so it's so graphic why is it i can do something that's very wrong i know it i'm not so upset suddenly when you know about it i get so upset why you know it's true you also knew about it yesterday said he also knows about it why do you care i'm so upset that you know about it but it's true it's not like the guy is lying he's not lying he's telling you the truth why are you so upset if he was lying i understand but you know how right he is you know that this is true and it happened yesterday because the answer is it's because there's a difference when you know about by sin and i know about my sin when i know about my sin it somehow it gets covered over very fast when you know about my sin is yeshua hispalas the queen is yeast for his spiles it occupies space my self-love will make sure that my knowledge of all my sins gets covered over it gets submerged it drowns in the water it doesn't occupy space i i know about it i know about it it's information i don't doesn't i don't sit with it it doesn't affect my relationship to myself i don't wake up in the morning and and by the way this is a he's not this he's not complaining about this it's this is the way it should be i don't wake up in the morning and say wow i am at least i shouldn't i'm such a sick horrible person i hate myself when somebody does that we really have to have compassion because they start seeing themselves often like a stranger self-love is organic you should love yourself so that's amazing says the fact that i know all my sins i don't start hating myself why because the knowledge is not the pronunciation style but when you know about it even though it's true so why am i getting upset because your knowledge of it is very different than my knowledge of it when you know about my sin it's yeah my knowledge of it it gets eclipsed but your knowledge of it and occupy space it affects my own i know better i know more than you but the love covers over the year goes i'm upset because you took it out of hiding the hiding place you let the mouse you know you open the pandura box you let the mouse come out of the box what i'm upset about you is not the information i can deal with information the information is not the issue it's how you process the information i know all the information about myself but somehow i forgive myself i like myself [Laughter] i like myself so you know what it's in context it's in context of love but when i hear it from you oh yeah yeah yeah you took it out of its hiding place you took it out of context you know we say you take it out of context so this static says like this all information that a person has about themselves is in the context of self-love so therefore i sinned i make mistakes i have flaws i have deficiencies ms but i like myself [Laughter] i like myself there is i like myself so it's in that context i'm fine that doesn't mean i'm all doesn't mean i'm in denial it doesn't mean i'm a sugar doesn't mean it means this is how it is it's in that context and we're not complaining i'll culp shrimp but when you talk about it i don't hear it in the context of love i often hear it and what i just hear the deficiency stands on its own the floor is self-contained the sin lives on its own there's no context of love and that's what bothers me because when it was in the context of love it was hidden it was eclipsed it was submerged it wasn't seen it wasn't visible it didn't steer me in my eyes when you extract it from that when you talk about it you're not telling me anything that i don't know but i'm so hurt why am i hurt he says because my friend revealed it it was covered over by love and now it occupies its own space so that samadhik asks a question what happens if we can give people that love if we can give people that context that even when i'm talking to you about something that's critical there's a critical conversation if it can be in the context of love and this is probably one of the most powerful or such a powerful piece of advice in terms of interpersonal relationships for example in a marriage we always go to a marriage because that's where people are living together and you know constantly challenging each other there are conversations that are very positive i love you i cherish you i appreciate you i respect you whatever that means between a husband and a wife on many different levels but there are conversations that can be critical i see the flaws i see a deficiency i see behavior that i felt was inappropriate the tamated says be careful here because the way the person processes it is going to be in a context of deep deep acceptance if you can process it the same way back to them everything will be different can we have a conversation about my challenges or my deficiencies or my flaws but i should feel that you are talking about it within the context of love of trust of loyalty that makes all the difference everybody understands i hope you understand so let's see how he says it visel this is what hillary meant hillary didn't just say like the other person like yourself he was saying something now look at his words what is hateful to you don't do to your friend most people interpret it as what was he saying you don't want somebody to lie to you don't lie to your friend you don't want somebody to steal from you don't steal your friend he could have just said treat another person like yourself he was saying this he was saying something deeper madison what you hate what do you hate you don't hate truth you hate the revelation of this truth out of the context of love like just like with yourself when we say you don't see your own flaws it doesn't mean you don't see them you see them you're not naive and you're not dumb and you're not a liar but you see it within a context and because you see within a context it doesn't occupy separate space that's the question what type of relationship do you have with the other and indeed the fact is that when a husband and a wife have a good marriage and a good relationship they could see all the flaws but they see it in the context of trust and loyalty and dedication just like you see at vis-a-vis yourself now sometimes a person i just have to say this is a disclaimer sometimes a person is suffering from acute depression or anxiety or self-loathing and self-hate and they really don't see their flaws within a context of love and that could be very challenging that's when i wake up in the morning and i say i hate myself i hate me i hate i hate i hate i hate and all i focus is on my guilt and that's something we have to address because i'm treating myself like a stranger i'm not one with myself i'm really treating myself like a stranger so now the advice from hillel is not just to somebody else it's also to yourself so sit to yourself you have to be your own friend you have to be your own friend right love your fellow like yourself begins with yourself you have to be able to love yourself and then you can love somebody else because as we're explaining loving the other is the ultimate of self love in a good way in a positive way in a beautiful way okay i just wanted to emphasize that so he says actually a serious divisive can you also see his flaws in the context of love and then it's different everything is different you could talk to me about everything but can you talk about it with me like you would talk about it with yourself if it was your own challenge what does that mean that means i don't see it as something outstanding as something conspicuous as something that sticks out that's something that overtakes my emotional self that i define you by the negativity i don't define you by the negativity and that's the core question do you define yourself by your positivity or by your negativity the tamartedic says the way god created a person naturally a healthy person you define yourself by your positivity you define yourself by love ah you have flaws and you have deficiencies and you have problems and you have challenges and you did wrong things and you make mistakes and you be whatever it is everybody in their own way but ultimately hopefully you define it within the context of positivity and therefore it doesn't become a separate monster it doesn't stand out as a separate monster it remains mark if it's knowledge yes i have to deal with this but it's not like my heart is now pulsating with horrible horrible negative feelings about me sometimes indeed we do something and it really stands out in our life and we can't forgive ourselves and it really takes us over it really takes us over and we have to we have to work with it we have to repair we have to make amends and self with so that zamartik says what's the ultimate story the same is true with somebody else what is the ultimate story is it an ultimate story that i have a positive attitude towards you and because i have a positive attitude towards you there's affection there's love there's connection there's positivity so therefore the flaw is seen in that context or it stands out as a separate reality this is what hillel said madisonillah what is this like to you he's not just saying something you dislike to be done to you talking about this specific thing this type of gilly this type of revelation of your floor standing out in and of itself on its own is something that's hurtful for you it's something that's hurtful for you this is what you have to give to your friend as well hey dalmatium whether it's flaws or mistakes that a person does in matters of the world between a person and somebody else the person may have said something to you or to somebody else or the middle of the between them and god heavenly things lies without ma don't turn their flaws and their defensive sufficiencies into something substantial that stands out on its own like a sore thumb not in the context of love it's all because there is a love because it's a positive relationship the love is deep that it covers over the sins meaning not that you don't know you're not naive but the knowledge does not translate into emotional turmoil that my experience of you is one of negativity okay allah sometimes you have this tremendous desire to somebody else you really cherish somebody you really love somebody sometimes your core your soul's core has an intense intense affection for somebody you're drawn to them you want to be close to them you cherish them you love them he says even if the guy does something and somebody else will tell you well he just hurt you this is against the love somehow it won't occupy space up nega it's going to be nullified in the love as the passing says in hashidum chapter abundant waters cannot extinguish the love what does this mean let's make it very practical if you have a real real positive feeling to somebody if you just have a love to somebody they may do something wrong but you're gonna contextual you're gonna see it in context you'll be curious and you may even find out that they didn't mean to hurt you you're going to be just this is back to the marriage when a marriage generally is good the general ambiance in the house is i like you i love you you like me you love me then even if you say something or you do something that can be interpreted different ways the other person will not immediately jump to conclusions oh you're a horrible person they won't try it out they won't jump to such conclusions you know why they won't jump to something i don't mean try it out to do something wrong i mean try it out to create an ambiance of a lot of love and the reason is because i give you the benefit of the doubt because i see you in a context of positivity so even the negativity i'm going to reinterpret and even if i can't interpret it even if i can't reinterpret it i easily let it go i forgive sometimes i don't even see it i don't occupy it when you are so loving of somebody says when your soul is really connected to somebody it's not like they don't make mistakes they make mistakes but even strong floods maya robin flash floods can't extinguish the love it doesn't occupy space it doesn't take over the relationship obviously there's many different levels of this experience on the most intense level where it doesn't occupy space and it's completely subsumed and obliterated or where it doesn't occupy so much space and there could be forgiveness but the point is that it's all about the relationship so madala sunny what you don't like to be done to you what do we mean what do not what you don't like to be done to you what you don't like for you meaning you don't want somebody to take that flaw out of context of love you don't want the person to extricate your flaw out of the context of your goodness of your beauty of your holiness don't just see my deficiency see my deficiency within my infinite goodness of it that's what your friend also deserves don't do that to your friend either don't do that to your wife don't do that to your husband don't do that to your child don't do that to your neighbor don't do that to somebody else in your life uh dylan understands you understand how you feel this moment you have to feel not just on the stand you have to feel it viscerally you have to fill it with the body libya you've sort of known somebody writes i'll never forget learning this idea about seeing flaws in the context of love of self when i was 13 or so i heard it from my brother my brother learned this mime from the time of yeshiva now let me tell you about myself i have made a lot of mistakes in parenting i made a lot of mistakes in interpersonal relationships but anything i did right i can trace back to knowing this vital piece of human psychology that my brother taught me at the age of 13 where lelentis meimer knowing that i look in the mirror and forgive myself and applying the same grace to another person they have their flaws but they forgive themselves i also forgive them i forgive myself i could forgive others i sometimes don't even see my flaws i can relate to other people like that as an adult today i have a new understanding of the practicality of this being proactive in providing that loving context for my spouse for my children for myself for other people i have to say it's hard not to take their flaw out of the context of love is a very hard thing to do but it's vital for my interpersonal relationships beautifully said somebody wrote this on the zoom really really nice thank you for sharing that now somebody asks does this apply also to our relationship with hashem does he see our flaws in the context of love excellent that's going to be the continuation of the miami beautiful so now let's go to the next step and this is so true by the way with everything it's also true with your own children because very often we love our children so much we also become so judgmental of them you know when you love somebody so much you put them under a microscope right somebody else's child oh he's so cute you know how when somebody comes over to schultz comes over and said wow your son is so cute and you're like really you know which which which which child are you talking about parents in the name of love become so judgmental so judgmental not in a bad they don't mean bad because you put your kid under a microscope and you see everything you did this wrong and that wrong in that room somehow says okay i got it i got it but in the context of how much goodness there is how much love there is how much you love them how much you cherish them it doesn't mean that it doesn't exist it doesn't mean you should ignore it doesn't mean you shouldn't talk about it he's not saying you shouldn't talk with your spouse about something that's bothering you but always the question is what is the underlying story is the underlying story one of hate or one of love is the underlying story positive or negative is the underlying story my appreciation of you or it's about the the toxic toxicity and when there is that poison all conversations are gonna be are going to become i don't know how to say this they're going to become explosive they're going to go downhill the conversations are going to go downhill because the underlying uh five the underlying fabric the underlying fabric has been tarnished that's what hillel is telling us not just don't do to him what you're doing to yourself that he could have said treat your neighbor like you treat yourself very nice i don't want you to lie i won't want to leave me i won't lie to you no he's talking about this element what we despise is not information i don't care if you have information about me but i want to know that you love me there's a beautiful interpretation of so beautiful it says literally it means tell me the one who my soul loves tell me that one of my soul loves but he says haggidali tell me that my soul is loved tell me that my soul is loved tell me that's what i want to hear i want to hear that i want you to be able to be an empathetic witness to be able to contain my flaws within the context of affection and that makes all the difference so that i can have a conversation with you like i would have a conversation with myself so that's the exercise my friends to be able to have a conversation with the other like you're having that conversation with yourself and to be able to have that conversation with yourself first to be able to say that there is real love here i see it in the context of affection now we come to the next step this is the reason and this is the reason that this is the whole toyota so because when the souls of israel are integrated when they become one like one organism like one structure aids or you say now we come to the next step this creates on all levels including in the spiritual realities something extraordinary which is the ultimate purpose of toyota you know many people before they do a mitzvah they say the shame for the unity of hashem and the china or like the balatanya put it in his city before baruch the shame basically represents divine infinity divine oneness what's shrina shriner from the word is the divine energy that's manifested in every single creature your life forces the shrina my life forces is aligning your consciousness with the divine consciousness of oneness and that's why every mitzvah is the alignment of my consciousness my life force my identity my personality my day-to-day interactions that's shechina because everything is a manifestation of the divine energy that is enclosed and dwells srina means dwells and is manifested within the particular brain of you of this person or this creature or this organism and the shrine is in everything and everybody every tree and every shrub and every bush and every atom and every cell and every neuron every galaxy every star every centimeter of space is filled with divine energy with the divine presence and we want to unify that with concepcu that's what elevating the world is elevating the consciousness creating that oneness explains that's the purpose of torah the only way that it could be is if there's unity if there's love he's going to use kabbalistic language but the message is going to be very clear srina is known in kabbalah's ima tata which means the lower mother um or the queen mccartney israel the source of all souls that's called shrina sometimes it's called malchus it's called imatata it's called motherness of men shall freed adam the gemara says 84 the visage of yaakov reflected the visage of adam literally it means yaakov looked like adam but it means also on a deeper level encompassed all of the souls and in that sense yaakov's visage is like the visage of adam which adam adam haskell talks about the fact ezekiel chapter 1 that on the throne he saw an image of the glory of god which he calls adam alyon this supernal man yaakov who represents all the souls reflects that image of adam alien says at the end of his life dvorah climate-based deuteronomy 17 32 in parishes his nation is a part of hashem in other words the shrine encompasses all the souls it's like a brain like we learned earlier in the previous class the brain is the scent contains the central nervous system that encompasses every single last detail of the body so the yaakov the image of yaakov was a reflection of the image of adam which adam adam the higher adam the shrine which encompasses all of creation and all of the souls become one when they become integrated so now you have one is connecting with oneness what does that mean now hashem who's one could become one with the jewish people because we're one for you allah and then god doesn't see the flaws anymore because it's himself it's himself the azu over i'll call passion so he foregoes and overlooks all transgressions just like with yourself you overlook your flaws commander it's like all drowned in this big sea commercial cost of deposit says in billam bamidburgh and what does he continue god does not see bilaam says god does not see iniquity in jacob or toil agony negativity in israel why sha shem elec because hashem is with him just like you don't see your own floor god doesn't see his flaw the daily maven this will be enough for somebody who understands i'll explain in a moment more ain't peterslawy it doesn't mean hashem doesn't see he doesn't know about it you could fool him no i called gulliver a dua philosophically god sees everything even the sikhal de gamora says even the smallest conversation between a husband and a wife hashem knows or as i told somebody even google knows about it certainly god knows about it people wonder does hashem really see and hear everything i say google sees and hears everything so you think hashem doesn't see you near everything job 11. sometimes you could see iniquity but you don't meditate on it hashem knows it and his knowledge is infinite but it doesn't create an emotion what do we mean it doesn't create an emotion it doesn't affect me i could see your flaw but i see it like my flaw i see my flow but it doesn't affect me i don't start hating myself i don't cut myself out of my life i don't stop speaking to myself because i have a flaw right i don't say i'm not speaking to me anymore sometimes it would be nice if i stopped speaking to myself but my most you don't say i'm not talking to me anymore because i have a flaw i did this yesterday i'm not talking to me anymore i'm cutting myself out of my life and if you do it it's a very serious state of depression so can i treat somebody with that same that same reality so here that says something very powerful he says in god all the souls are one when we become one with each other we can now be one with hashem if we're one with hashem hashem doesn't see our flaws not because he doesn't see our flaws because he treats it like his own and if he treats it like his own it's always in the context of oneness it's always in the context of love so that says realize what happens when you treat another person in this level of reality you're not just making for yourself a better life and make you feel other person a better life you're changing the whole world you're changing the whole world because what happens one is echoed could become one with echad when we're fragmented he's going to explain now passage says god cover it up for him there's a cover-up in a good way eleka's but if there is fragmentation god forbid among the jewish people kailasher boy mum remember whatever has a blemish can be brought as a carbon the igram le my lebron is period so you create fragmentation above for us so what happens now hashem sees the negativity allah especially on the person the one who is creating the separation it doesn't only mean bless us all together it means when we're one there's only blessing when there's kulan okay us song of songs chapter four the groom tells the bride all of you is beautiful i don't see any blemish so that samadhik says what does this mean when kula khiyafa then there's mumbach doesn't mean there's no blemish nobody's perfect what it means is the blemish is completely not noticed because kulak but for this you need kula venase could be manifested in the source of all the souls and oneness becomes one with oneness lamebu we say this in kagavana friday evening friday before barco from zaihar to become one with one what is it somehow telling us here he's saying something really profound the fact that when it comes to yourself all your flaws and all your negativity and all your inappropriate behaviors are not noticed they may be noticed but they don't occupy space they don't turn you into an emotional enemy of yourself hopefully why because you love yourself and that's what hillel is telling this person that this is the core of torah because the core of turret is the core of toyota is alignment the core of trade is going back to the source and in the source there is always oneness in this source you are connected to me and i am connected to you and the ultimate of territory is to unify kuchibrikov but the only way to do that is if the souls become one could if the souls are not one how could we go back to the shrine and become unified with kuchabhiriku and in the skinner they're all one it's like i'll come to i'll come to a mother and say i'm gonna bring you some of the children but some of the children i have to throw away sorry come to me with all of them what did you heard the tel binyamin what did you do to tell joseph i can't come back to my father without the child i can't i can't come to yaakov and say binyamin is a crook binyamin is a thief benjamin is a thug i can't vinaf go tell yaakov sorry let go of beyond let go of yours have let go of shem and they're all crooks it doesn't work that way how can we become shrina what's grinner is the brain that includes all souls but if i say to your soul get out of my life i can't deal with you i hate you i loathe you what happens the shrine is now separate the shrine is now scattered it's fragmented in god there's oneness in hashem there's oneness and ain't so if there's oneness so how do you know you're in the presence of hashem when there's oneness when we become one so now the shrine is all united so it's the real shrine it's the source of all the neshamas so there's the unity of kuchibrihu hashem can only be one with echo there can't be one with not because he's one so then what happens even when a jew sins and even when a jew does something inappropriate god says i don't see anything sorry he's looking at himself he's looking at himself and when he sees himself he doesn't see anything sorry akov because he's one with hashem lakov and as it's brought in safari him commissioners commissioners the numerical value of eloquem hashem el laikavi it's like a person doesn't see his own flaws even though they're there so it says hashem doesn't see his flaws he doesn't see his own flaws he knows everything hashem knows everything but it doesn't affect it doesn't have an effect it doesn't it's not taken out of context it's not taken out of the context of the relationship the way he's the way the way the way he puts it is that the adam de la ela hashem adam ali doesn't see atma he doesn't see his own flaws because it's all him it's all why is it him because we're one but if i become separate from you so now that oneness is not felt anymore it's not communicated anymore so now there's a period so now it's almost like i'm looking at a stranger who's not me i'm looking at a stranger who's not me and suddenly the flaws stand out especially the one who created the separation that's why we say kula jiafarayasi i look at my wife and i say all of you is beautiful all of you i include all of the souls they're all part of one organism and then there's no blemish the blemish is in the context of the love soy second line vizahu sawed tom t.a masha malika this is the meaning of the pasta compassion through a deuteronomy 18. you should be wholesome with your god what does this mean be wholesome with your god so he says like this is just like hashem with all the souls is one there's no such a thing hashem says some souls are not connected to me he is all the souls all the souls are derivative of the consciousness of oneness the light of god's brain of god's wisdom shines in all of the limbs of the shrine no limbs are amputated love your fellow like yourself and therefore you don't see your own flaws you should have the same timings the same wholeness from the word tamim the opposite of about his blemish tamim is whole holistic complete hashem allah then you can go up to hashem then you can give your salt hashem because if you're blemished i can't show up god says where's your arm where's your leg where's your oh i hate him i hate him you can't go back to your father without all the limbs without all the organs he says one second one second if you want a relationship with me i'm oneness you need to find that oneness in your life if you live in if i'm living in a space of fragmentation and negativity i'm not living in the space of oneness you want to have that timimus and this is what hilo said everything else is commentary all the mitzvahs are about oneness all the mitzvahs all the mitzvahs are about aligning your lower self with your higher self allow aligning your lower consciousness with your higher consciousness creating unity in your own inner cosmos and in the whole cosmos you hear what the tamaksa is describing what yiddish is all the mitzvahs are about oneness every mitzvah vare adam de la lantern what creates the ultimate oneness between the lower consciousness and the higher consciousness love love so that's the whole torah because the primary unity of the adam of hashem with the shrina what's the shrine the shrine is the image of yaakov who reflected the image of adam which encompasses all souls comes out through love because when there is love when we're one we become a channel for oneness because that's what hashem is hashem is oneness so to be in the space of hashem isn't to be in a space of oneness in a space of love hashem hashem is part of his nation every person every soul is a khelik so if i get rid of you i'm getting rid of a part of god i'm not in a space of oneness so the mitzvah of love is what facilitates the essence of all torah which is and all the mitzvahs are a commentary of explaining and implementing this oneness the hainu baeza of how is their oneness how is their oneness every mitzvah creates and facilitates and channels oneness in a different way now i want to tell you something before we learn this parentheses because this is incredible in the last few years there's a very big conversation about languages of love right languages of love you have to know your spouse's love language you have to know your friend's love language you have to know your child's love language you have to know your soul mates love language you have to know your own love language what is your love language right they talk about five love languages is it words of affirmation is it acts of service is it spending quality time with each other is it physical touch is it gifts what is your love language what do i need to do to be able to make you feel loved and cherished some people need quality time some people need to talk and share and conversations words of affirmation acts of service gifts touch physical touch so this is a big kiddish that came out a few years ago a famous book and so forth now i want to show you le havdil in this parenthesis that samadhik puts in all the love languages and you'll see how he puts that all of judaism is a love line is is love the question is what's the love language there's 613 languages of love and those are the 630 mitzvahs one way oneness happens is wisdom with wisdom my wisdom and your wisdom merge the talmud that's what learning is then there's my love merges with your love i express love to you you express love to me sometimes it's about ideas we exchange ideas we connect you understand me i understand you that's toyota i love you you love me that's ava and the different qualities and emotions and attributes through different myths just like a person who connects with somebody else with a friend siba says what's at the core of the relationship is authentic love how do they connect sometimes it's through conversation we share words of wisdom this is called spending quality time with each other understanding each other sharing with each other words of affirmation communication getting each other sometimes i just need to feel the revelation of love i don't need conversation i don't need conversation you just want to experience the love this may be buying a gift this may also be quality time this may be touch etcetera upon myself sometimes i need acts of service gosh miss i just need you to do me a favor be here for me it's unbelievable that some of you hear what this is saying it says in zoe the 248 mitzvahs are the 248 organs of the king every mitzvah you're so to speak connecting to another component to another organ of the one you love every mitzvah the unity is a particular limb sometimes i may kiss somebody on their cheek i may give you a hug on your neck i may speak to you with mouth to mouth i may look at you in your eyes i may connect to another part of the body every mitzvah is unity the question is how there's a different love language that every mitzvah connects to there's learning toyota's one love language this davening is another love language putting on filling is another love language giving sadaqa is another love language shaking the lullabies another but it's all languages of love it's all unity so hillel says the whole title is going into a consciousness of oneness everything else is a commentary how to do it every mitzvah explains the unity and accesses it in a different way etc and he gives one example for example a jew puts on a talus what's the idea of putting on a talus it's like it says in tanya chapter 41 it's like placing appointing upon yourself a king a leader a tales is a light that transcends and it wraps you it in it it enraptures you in before davening we wrap this talos we have something else this gives the person the energy to be able to ultimately give their soul to oneness to say israel because without year it is no means the complete merging of oneness for the person to be able to experience the hashem god first i need the year i need to open myself up to the mystery of oneness and that's what the talos says then there is something else he says then this yiddish after this because i'll say if there's no year there's no there's no there's no i know is even a deeper year and that is where you cease to be a separate reality you become so close there's no separateness anymore that's the khmer that follow this that follows the difference between awe and love is as follows with love the more distant you are the stronger it is i love you i cherish you what do they say distance makes the heart grow fonder with awe with year it's the other way around the closer you are the more order is right somebody once said about a great man he said most great people the closer you come to them the less you respect them he said but there's a few great people the closer you become to them the more you respect them the more you respect them i once heard this from one of the secretaries of the of the rebel of the lava china he said you know sometimes with people if you're not close to them you're like an awe but then you get close to them and you see you know they're just you know they're like everybody else you know they lose it and this said with it was the opposite the closer you got there was much more awe because because you really saw so sadikum daimon labairam with hashem the closer you get the more year the further you are there's more ava that's what it says so he says when you have the ultimate which is the ultimate cure if you have the most year the most bitter because you become so close to infinity that you just you you you have to let go of everything you have to let go of the last vestige of ego half liver fella kudos the impact of that level of oneness is manifested in the market in the surrounding energy of the talis which represents the external awe that precedes that's why in the morning at the beginning of davening the man wraps himself with the tallest the cold zed and this is only a commentary on oneness my entire spouse is beautiful vitamin t mashem and you're completely wholesome with hashem because you're wholesome with everybody else so the samadhik says that all of yiddish hillel told this non-jew is a commentary on love why because all of judaism is about oneness it's alignment with oneness it's revealing the oneness in your brain the oneness in your life the run is in your marriage the oneness in your psyche the one that's in your home the one is in your environment the one is on the planet and the oneness in the cosmos and the oneness and all of reality how is that exemplified through love what does that mean on a deeper level that even the criticism and the negativity and the flaws are in the context of love mother luck sonny lahaved is a commentary on that all of traders are commenting what's a commentary commentary is an explanation how do i get to that place of oneness and how do i experience it and how do i live with it and how do i implement it every mitzvah is a different language of oneness so you have the five languages of love and you have the 30 the 613 languages of unity 613 languages so now if i'm shaking the lulu or i'm putting on phil and i'm putting on a palace the tamaksandik says if you don't understand that the talis is about love you're missing the point you're building a sukkah you're cleaning your house for comments right or whatever mitzvah i'm doing if i'm not expo i'm not appreciating the essence of this is going into a space of la mevech of oneness i'm losing the point i'm i'm missing the point this is what hillel taught this person and at the end of the miami he just says sinners there's a whole other dimension to explain about this mitzvah of loving another person and not hating another person based on the mimer of my grandfather in parishes that god says i cannot deal with midion midian represent the word midian in hebrew comes in the word modern which means conflict the clip of midian is the clip of hatred and that clipper must be eliminated in order for there to be able to be oneness in the world the clip of hatred he said that's a whole other dimension an explanation that he's not getting into this mimer he's just giving a reference that there's a whole other deep explanation about obvious israel that's discussed in the mighty mirror of hey this concludes at least one dimension of the tsumat sadiq's my mirror on mitzvahs israel and the mitzvah of not hating another person question a lot of questions i'll take a few i always find it in my life to see this as a truth and that is if i really love hashem i can make space for all jews when i don't really love hashem i become a very judgmental person when you really love hashem and you feel that hashem loves you you can make space for other people okay there are people who are unwell they hate themselves they dislike themselves they treat themselves in horrible ways should we then treat them the same way like they treat themselves no of course not they need help next question forgiving myself this is so hard i don't know how to forgive myself it's so hard i'm learning to lean into my inner grace more than into my inner self-judgment i like that i'm learning to lean into my inner grace more than into my inner self-judgment very well beautifully beautiful beautiful okay next question the way i understand this is that the ultimate wisdom in this mimer maybe half has to be tested in the right to die controversy some patients in great pain assuming a good mind they just want to be put out of their misery and they want to die it's assisted suicide there's a big debate in the secular community about this shall we allow this should we help a person die because they're in so much pain they want to end it that's what they really want maybe if we had their pain we might do the same according to this mitzvah verhafta do we allow them their wish or not if we really love them we should say okay they want to die we're going to respect that and we're going to do assisted suicide okay this is really beyond the pale of this class so i'm not gonna get into this in detail but suffice it to say that you know for this this is such a deep question of morality it's very hard for any of us to really believe that with our limited minds we can have the full picture of what this means in other words do we really understand the value of a soul in this world do we really understand the value of another moment in life this conversation can only be done in a context of a full understanding or at least a partial understanding of what it means to be alive and what it means that god sends a soul down into this world and what it means that god takes away a soul from this world so that's the context in which we have to have this discussion but it's a very very important comment and a very important discussion this speaks a lot about the jewish people the question is what about the non-jewish world so you have to understand this is the principle in all of titan and all of siddhas avas israel yes the jewish people are our family the jewish people have one soul but when you understand this automatically translates into love of humanity because what's the whole point here the whole point is that hashem is oneness so when somebody experiences obvious issues let me give you a classical example imagine i'm talking about having a good marriage loving a loving married and somebody says why are you talking about marriages why don't you talk about loving the whole world not only loving your wife for your husband the answer is when you have a good marriage you're going to love the world when there's love in the house there's going to be love outside of the house that's the fact when you love your children and your children love you when you have a great marriage it's going to go out of the house so when jews love each other in the way that the mimer describes automatically it extends to love of humanity and love of the planet and love of the world because it's all all connected very good questions sending you today on this beautiful morning all my love and i should say our collective love i want to thank since the next class i'm not going to be looking at a screen i'll be looking at a screen but i'm also going to be looking at people sitting there so i want to use this opportunity some of you have been here with us um literally for more than two years at every class or almost at every class sometimes you were here even when i wasn't here so i want to thank everybody from all over the world who has graced us with who have graced us who have graced us with your beautiful and delightful presence over these two unforgettable years since corona came and changed the world your insights your feedback your attentiveness your grace your love your wisdom your spiritual sensitivity and your commitment to be an ambassador of truth love light hope healing authenticity wisdom and redemption remains a source of inspiration to myself and to all of us and by extension as we just learned to all of the jewish people into the world and we hope to continue going from strength to strength i may hashem bless each and every single one of you with the gift of infinite love in your life and your marriage and your family and your community in your world and bless the whole world with this gift of love and all of the jewish people with this special gift that we learned today and may you have a beautiful day and a beautiful shabbos and again the next class is going to be monday morning 7 45 a.m not 7 30 7 45 a.m 18 for shea road in muncie streamed live on the yeshiva.net i also want to wish ben sarah all the brach and we hope to see you very soon in good health thank you thank maybe i'll ask maybe somebody in the class if they can bring a laptop or we could do the zoom i'll i'll i'll announce it if there'll be a zoo we could take questions by via zoom i'm gonna i just have to i need somebody to take care of it so i'll try to ask somebody who's gonna come regularly like this i put on the zoom but there it's gonna be hard for me to handle the zoom but i'll ask somebody so it may still work even if we do this zoom it's just going to be in a different location so okay everybody have a beautiful day thank you genuinely thank you i should also be