The 30 Day Challenge - Part 3: The SMART Way to Do it - Rebbetzin Avigial Gersht

[Music] let us begin rachel is going to remind us what we spoke about because you remember what we spoke about let's hear Rachel yes good thank you for that introduction right we said does it take 30 days to break a habit it obviously depends what it is okay with many things not if for sure doesn't take 21 days right we said why do people think it takes 21 days to break or you here last class why is whooping use both of your news ok hello investor while many people think it takes 21 days to break a habit because there was this guy who remembers classic surgeon thank you thank you for listening he said he's a plastic surgeon he started noticing a pattern in his patient that it took them approximately 21 days to former new habit ok so people ground with his 21 days to change a habit and other people say group a woman who are running it took them 64 days or something had a change for them to get used to running since I take 60 days ok people say where we saw sponsor says that it takes 40 days chain to have it we're not putting a number on how many days does it take to paint to break a habit okay for everyone is different okay trust me I would be a lot more accomplished human being if / short took only 30 days to do it however we chose the number 30 because okay good we're one Russian down so it's not intimidating where's Nicole where's Nicole we don't know okay so besides for the Russians who like commitment and who enjoy being obligated to do something and not my hard work and will make you their word to something they will do it so if they join a gym whether they are tired hungry sick broke their leg or have their eye ball popped out they will go to that gym okay so I'm like Russians many people are not like that so we chose the number 30 because 30 is not so commitment-phobic right 30 is a day that we can all do 30 is a number that we can all do right and they GF 30 days if i am not committing to anything okay if i know that i watch way too much TV and then i say i am sooo grandma this is a good great that we're speaking about this during rosh hashanah right because that's it reflects on us here is funny i took on something rosh hashanah this first day of our connector concen and he'll accept clearly this was I should do and only 10 minutes a day to do it we had v2 of rosh hashanah i woke up yesterday morning I'm like I supposed to do it yesterday I like literally forgot to do it yesterday ok so unlike wow that is so not impressive ok we usually take on these like big graduate has in mind was like somewhere else ok but you take on these big grandiose things russets on I'm never going to do this again and then it's like that's a big deal right so for me to say I'm not going to watch TV anymore that's like really was a really good TV show comes out right there are some shows that people are like I don't watch movies at all it could even you guys I know a bunch of students come and tell me you have to walk the movie inside out everyone screaming movie inside out one now it's really more than the cute it's like really plus it's super d now I know that was kids watch cartoons the axiom milk was going on they just like the classic things because there's no way that a child understands that movie so I would look you have to watch this movie I don't want the movies right but like it was like this was deep movie tomorrow and I watched the movie I watched the movie inside and I'm still happy I thought was great and happy holly was putting up something somewhat that you can learn from so so for me to say and never watch movies ever attend one second hold on till out what religion was like my favorite TV show on the person breaks still around no jokes prison break is yeah okay but I wouldn't watch upsetting TVs that horrible okay and not for this class I think it's death but is Curry's but and even a prison break a gnat again then I still wouldn't want it but for someone who's not building TV is death and they came back with a new prison-break how much time can you break that person I don't know but and they might really want to watch it so just that you're just for 30 days I'm just going to try and no TV okay day 31 I will catch up on all my favorite shows and day 31 I will take the day off of work now we'll sit there and TV intelligence office obviously you and Bend and eat all the things in SOC I'm want to assume that you don't want to be watching okay obviously the goal is to not do that okay and the goal to not want to do that but you can try to solve that and you know what you can do that if you want to but the point is 30 days of very doable number number for me to say I'm never going to buy it someone I know okay for people who bite their nails I don't struggle with this thank God but it's like a really big count I don't hear bite their nails no okay no one knows I'm talking about you do okay you use just maybe it's can related i know people who bite their nails it's like the hardest challenge for them me like bite their nails too like they're literally bleeding but they don't care they're like some people are sick with it by other people to put normal nail biters it's just like so hard for them either one works like you can't get your nails manicured now what are you going to do then I'm going to care there's like bite those nails right justice and never told it so I know someone I know their doctor put on like it's like nail polish that like tastes bad on their fingers they wouldn't even be able to us yes we still bit right through those words a bit right through that type giving a person never invite my nails ever again hold on what am I going to do when I'm stressed out so the 30 days I'm not going to bite my nails we're going to get to how do I do that ok and then day 31 you can say school ate my nails are so long this is like man like Garden of Eden also bite right through them on day 31 okay so we're going to the number 30 now that's clear noncommittal 30 days let's do something how do we do it so we sit less less off last class was the S of smart we said there is a very great man who lives here at her no of names rub nah homes dillivan and he came up with something called the Smart Plan which stands for you had Russia whoever was in here [Music] I'm Tyler thank you right so what does he say we read the first one cuz we know right we read obviously by writing it down we'll review that again a band he says specific what does it stay on the street let us give because to what is brave to stay in Genesis a the young man has been a lover of God said to Abraham last lakhani our sukkah go out of your country you'll be mullahs with haha and from the place where you were born we baked a visa and from your father's house to the line that I will take this home to leave leave from your house from where you're born from your father's house took place that i will show you this cystic if you cannot get them i'm not going to go over all than the gangster this last class and I one repeat it the more specific you are the more successful you will be like when I tell my daughter okay coming after should I'm not going to say which daughter is not nice let's say I have a daughter who hits my other daughter and I say sweetheart we do not hit okay okay mommy and then she'll go and chill pinter and I'll say sweetheart I said we do not hurt your sister she says I didn't hit her I pinched her okay we do not hurt her mean anything if she's not smiling at me she's not happy okay if you're sitting on her that meat that's called hurry and you go through or he says you know darling we do not have candy candy for Chavez we're not having candy now okay mommy goes up the candy and then two minutes later what's in your mouth if not Kandi's gum okay ask your mommy before you eat anything again the more specific you can be the more targeted your goal is so let's go gum give the example of exercise last class cookie who can review for us plus you're Joanna let's be specific i want to exercise I want to exercise hides an erotic everything written down [Music] good would stay because now reward it with the time in the date and all that in there I am goal I am two hours a day that's good two hours a monday wednesday friday what time where the gym and a half i am going to run monday wednesday friday for two hours do you run for two hours oh these are the Santa's I would run or 2 i'm going through our monday wednesday friday two for two hours at 9am at the gym by my house okay give me one more example not exercise whatever example you want specific this isn't compact really good house it helps against house again ok first you a time but ok is it the same commentary or ok so stay with the commentaries of that right I'm going to learn Rashi unbound ptosis room boys and multum ok right before school which is a bracket around eight o'clock and after school which is like midnight every single Monday through Thursday ok Pacific we've got the specific part down pat good ok after specific comes measurable what is measurable mean yes what do we write almost like a conversation you're watching this the missionary had with this guy measurables like he said yes to me talking to him he awesome his falafel ball now he's nodding his head okay he's accepting my book like you see the steady been got flat down but but you see you see that you can't literally you can measure it on the street that's two measurables on the seat seat which is also several you helped others becoming a register in fall seven times again I've we're trying to cross with Rafa but someone who's looking right they will stumble and evil what does that mean what end is a lot a lot a lot of beautiful ideas on this possible in reference but we're speaking about now a righteous person Saul seven times and get gets up what makes him different we all fall right it's exactly he recognizes OSL let me get up as a Coast do we kind of get into these slippery slopes of life which is I don't even realized how the heck I'd gained 40 pounds like I didn't realize like that's what i was doing i just realized i was in this bad relationship for seven years i got to get out right i didn't realize right you're measuring yourself in these 30 dates how i'm doing will explain what that means soon okay and immeasurable also means and the more specific you are the more you basically don't have to worry about measurable the measurable means i canna measure my progress we're together so far right I can measure my progress mean I can see it's just an open ended pretty basic across the board not such as clear goal how do I know if I did it again exercise when our exercise for 20 minutes at it what does exercise mean how do you know if you can give that little check mark at night those check marks are very rewarding right how many of us like right down I have like at the end of the day will write down something in our notebook or a planner that we did just we can check it off but we're a wrote it down we already did it all right yonder Jake yeah I did that today right like little tech market is very validating so so the so work the more measurable it is the more you can give yourself that check mark did I do it or not let's see another example not exercise not five commentaries of you that's really nice right that's measurable which means its specific that's on Friday who are you calling right did you do it did you not okay it's measurable I want to rush through it that way we can we have time which is right down our own quick 30-day challenges okay this the third one is s na is accountable and attainable what does it mean attainable okay worth paying for 30 days we can do anything and you can adjust 30 date it's a lot it's really not so much when 30 days ago was what what was 30 days ago ello yeah give me mellow exactly LOL was 30 days ago to consider us what where did it go we just had rosh hashanah 30 days is not so much there like 12 30 days in a year right there's like it's not so much time I paintable means oh yes we can do it set down a bowl for 30 days just shut your mouth will do it and you can stop after 30 days attainable means though with your ghost part and parcel with realistic is can you actually attain this though right let's say we're reading the five commentaries a day okay every single day on voracious and Genesis a table means well do you read Hebrew are you able to read five commentaries a day right do you read English are these connotative ailable to you in English right thank you 30 days mrs. girth told me if I put my mind to it I can do anything in 30 days I am going to make a million dollars in 30 days maybe buy a lottery ticket as possible okay but you don't that's not measurable you don't know for sure you did it right or 30 days anything is possible my hair just doesn't grow but for 30 days I'm going to grow my hair always for my shoulders all the way down my back is that attainable which is the same as realistic right is that realistic can you actually get that which which again will do a Kim Bum realistic together realistic is also selecting the example of calling my mom and my sisters okay for every single sided airs about that's not so far spec because once a week okay but I don't know what your relationship was like with your mom whoever taking this on our relationship was like with your sisters you have to so did you make that up to go and have sisters right let's say you have sisters do you get along with them so this could be really good for your relationship if you don't get along or could it be like your mother's just not capable of holding down a conversation with you so for you to say I'm going to call her every single again tonight be hard is this realistic is it attainable your clients to do ok let's say you're in seminary you don't have a lot of money and theoretically speaking in a seminary that I cannot imagine they don't have food that you love okay so you're saying for 30 days I am going to eat only healthy organic whatever food is that realistic can you do that depends if you have money you the resources you can do it okay but that's the point is it realistic don't set down something that is not realistic we said the extensive reach success and failure breach failure right so you want you'd rather sit down lower goals and achieve them and raise the bar next time and to sit down really high lofty stuff that's pretty hard to get to okay that's attainable which is also accountable the ace for any questions so far i'm speeding through anything to join in nothing something other than my voice nothing okay that's totally doable I know plenty of people do who do that until you have kids no really once you've kids you can but that's like totally it's not a 30 day challenge that's like something you can it's a short I like that like short term goals we're going to speak about leeway but yeah take off safe for Yom Kippur I'm not going to speak and left and you have unless it's I'm lost or unless I'm you know where to get gets the bathroom or less like but you don't have to what no nothing I supposed to hold on chill out chill out box so two of us relax both rivers election yeah people take on what you call it honey I've never done it firstly people do it and I would imagine for a woman it's harder than men a lot of you meant even once again maybe don't do it but people take on we call it Chinese people or at time is means the fast with kindness Esther so time is be bored deeper me speech which means you're fasting on speech okay which means i'm not speaking today and that usually doesn't think that usually includes debris kedusha which means that you can speak about tore out and speak about learning you think about you know fila right like people do on yom kippur from people do that on and off for message a diverse hashanah not so much the Shona is a holiday where you're sitting at the meal but people do do that I'm having a time and see former Shoshanna anything outside of car i'm not speaking about so yum Cooper's like very doable again chill out okay definite support ask me some mascara question people do that on your kippers very doable if your ensure all day and people want stay focused and is in Jerusalem when I was in North America I never heard of these things I never heard have to think the herd of when I came to as well okay I thought it's all I've made up but it involves like bit in jerusalem's look very accessible like you can go to my brother used to do it and they used to go to old city on Yom Kippur and ask you a question you decoration and like it's very accessible if you go someone they're probably not praying 15 hmm mm-hmm like you get it so stop them you have to do is not something you should do you can do it if you want to and you feel more uplifted and okay how do we get to Tennessee 10 you wanted to update to do it it's not 30 pounds with something to do okay a is accountable right okay his sock elvish closer devar in vain I probably be a verra no reflect upon these three things he will not come to scent right duh no man acaba right no from where are you coming bubonic Tahoe length and from where you are going Wilson in the attack no painted blue team did the husband know from where you came know where you're going to I know who you're giving an accounting field right we came from the ground we're returning to the ground we're giving an account in turkish girl film that's accountable why why is it help to know where it came from where I'm going is one giving a dingo husband who I'm giving us accounting of myself to after 120 years how does it help ok let's true that's true i'm leaning a bit of a different direction but the same idea which is a carries more weight if you're accountable to other people that was your thing ok was a yeah yeah door like 10 with theoretically speaking yeah and like hip patty pronounce that is that english haha Josie samuel pizza why would you call them really ok yeah yeah you don't have any continuing capital is my favorite deposit like yeah definitely internet recovery and rosa richmond tell you guys yes I can't all means if you know which we know which is being Jewish which is you know heavy and amazing but like you have an opposite songs free right here right you have that I'm literal meaning of somebody who he believed in god I what kind of like really is really true hacker positive right and I said to him 1 gamma so why do you do this he's like armed with Chuck on it Scott on the chance that it is true is it really worth my eternity to like burnin right like it's not burning away thursday really worth it and i was very impressed with that answer right the fact that kept him in that's not the ideal obviously but the fact that he knew well what if there is what to answer to after all of it the fact that we have what's the answer to isn't just was not free ride I know somebody who stops eating chocolate okay and she was common themes versa but or something so I wanted to confirm club actually making a child presenting for service I think and I wanted to make a chocolate cheesecake and psychologists to make sure I heard this is it true and he's like how'd you know i have someone may dimensions really gave a presentation right that's called accountable right she didn't want to be accountable why because then everybody knows now keep it and then how the heck did you find out right because like better just for not and we tend to do that and while I just don't tell anyone that you're doing this Jewish thing why cuz and what if I like fall back one day I'm let the peace while back when did let me just human great and like human beings right so accountable me it's just and you're all counsel cuz we're all in the class together right now is accountable means if you're helpful if you share with your friends you know I just took on for 30 days of doing 30 day challenge where I am going to bed early that's great in seminary why is that great in seminary because you're all hanging on the dorms at night in the mix Rachel the times in do you just start this today right accountable means like other people are aware what's going on other people are also knowing what's going on with you and the others are on top of you so the more you share with other people the more you kind of feel like response to both things that make sense that resonate with everyone that's what accountable means okay are we said is realistic so again accountable just like helps to share with people but you know it is we're done you know I'm doing some careful if you're doing a kind of see became kipper tell people right I'm not speaking and kipper inhale doesn't mean on top of you like a hawk but just means like wait I've caught these tips she knows better she like and they'll go to your room to you I've seen your kind of feel like am I really hiding this right am I like really hiding the fact that happy if you shift and just feel bad about hiding the fact that you just yeah like for the rest in a question asked to do it with some opportunity oh you did that makes many you expect to be awkward like well let's hear what do you guys think I can't I kind of feel that I kind of feel that we do i do that personally my life like just don't turn on this right because like I'm not hiding it but just like what if I don't keep to it right I others don't do it it's been i'm saving all right and it's surprising at the end wife's pregnant they'll be all over you know that i was 18 pounds Yeah Yeah right now doesn't mean it's a good point doesn't thank for bringing up doesn't mean you have to share it with people okay personally I don't make sure everything my husband the first thing I don't share everything with people just because it's not my personality type right unless I specifically want people on board with it okay look unless I specifically want like be on board with this I'm not I took on once i'm not speaking lesson her about specific people okay and i told my sister who i'm really really close with i like guess what it says on I'm not signaling are about two people right I wanted her on board with that why could we speak a lot so if it comes up just know that like I'm going to totally divert the conversation but Sabrina I agree with you doesn't mean you should share everything doesn't mean you have to share everything this is just one part of it which is like a is account attainable can actually get it but it's also accountable which is just an idea of if it helps you share it with people if it doesn't know you shouldn't tell people like you're not you shouldn't you don't need to tell people guess what i'm doing now it's like relax or not God you don't have to like you know tell them confined in every single thing but if it helps you with people okay that's a good point about this this thing what you heard it could be personally it doesn't read with me because I do agree it's kind of like a fallback plan if you don't do it but also once you do accomplish something if you do for 30 days trust me the excitement's not going to go away just going to share in the beginning it just gets like hiking of us remember I told today I'm going to do I get it chilis all right it builds up the momentum it's like a lump of the elections like it one knows elections are happening right like did build another building exciting thing in America but regardless there's some emotion going on that what there's something going on it again are we said is a realistic which we did realistic is it actually possible and relevant relevant is important okay relevant means is cuttin ya as well if to your life's net okay so you're not if it's not relevant to your life now if you look a nice loss to go one day you want to like kids or one day you want to be that patient person but like right now probably affecting your life you won't be so motivated to do it right it won't be like if it's relevant to your life today okay I get headaches when I have sugar I just get headache Sbrocco and koala almost right it's like a gift because like I see the direct impact by hajduk like sugar okay it's relevant to my life today to stop eating artificial sugar okay to say i'm going to start eating only organic a nice idea expensive idea but a nice idea is it impacting you right now that I'm so motivated to do it not necessarily let's say learning 55 commentaries on voracious and you really want to get to next level but you know you can't switch lovely please speak a basic Hebrew right or until your understanding you're really motivated to do it why because right now I want to get to that level right or right now I want to do this or order to go to this seminary a half of this program whatever the examples are or you have a wedding right and you want to lose late for this wedding okay that's very relevant to your life to start working on your healthy habits now are was relevant and the Guam rashanna says in terms of realistic too fast on rube I love to fafsa to customize best at which means if you grab a lot you grab nothing if you grab a little right you grab something you can hold it right Muruga at her base you grab something which we all know that we're trying to like when I'm trying to like bring all the laundry to the laundry room together but hold it all and then socks with falls the guys are going to have to walk back ten more steps to get it but bend down to get the sauce and the shirt false i get the shirts like man who walked a lot of room and kind of that stuff awesome robot right so it works the same thing when it comes to realistic in life is just I use this quote allow just across the river looks at us like don't try and grab onto so much right grab a little bit you'll actually be able to hold it don't don't run for the whole entire world that once will be hard for you to hold it the last one is time-bound also to feel eyes but it's time ban which is Herbie Eliezer said right repent do to Wow one day before your death his students asked him do we know when we're going to die don't ask me to do then all the more reason to do true what today he said because God forbid if he dies tomorrow his whole life right it's going to be spent is the spent it's all I spent them in Tuba right what will know when we're going said that's what if they do true that day before you died when things are time bounds when we're obligated to it right we're more motivated we have time than we gave a 30 day challenge this smart plan is for like huge goals in life i'm applying to 30 day town do you have the time bound right you have a 30 day t is also feel I feel I is an updated starving for attention that's what it all comes an feel it all comes down to and how often do we ask ourselves like which the app has shown for this and also times like didn't think about that it kind of didn't write just dove in like I'm doing this I'm really working exercise I'm really working on I'm going to sleep early can you help me I said I really want to understand kaun tere like dude it's your Torah right like I'm kind of just you help me hey dude can you help me Sheila we said number one is write it down write down whatever it is you're doing said the Harvard study of Han now there's three things actually there's what we call rewards then what we call consequences and then what we call leeway [Music]