The #10 commandment of Dating: Don’t Fall to Soulmate Syndrome - Rabbi Eli Deutsch

You have no soulmate. Welcome back to the Ten Commandments of Dating. We're up to commandment number 10. Thou shalt not fall to soulmate syndrome. What do I mean by that? Well, people are out there talking about soulmates. What happens for many people is that they meet someone and they feel a strong connection. They develop a deep connection and understanding with one another and then they use the sword. They start calling each other soulmates. Here's the problem, though. So often over time during dating they start to have some bickering and then that bickering increases and then that bickering increases more. And the thing is they already locked in this whole soulmate word. They committed to the concept of soulmate. They already categorized this person as their soulmate. And so what happens sometimes is that they continue the relationship even though it's just constant bickering to the point where they can take it all the way down the aisle. Now, here's the crazy thing. If I were to pull them aside before they walked down the aisle individually and say to them, "There's no such thing as soulmate." Believe it. There's no such thing as soulmate. Imagine there was just no concept of soulmate what to whatsoever. Would you marry this person? And their reaction would be no. So then why are we marrying this person? What I want to offer you and put before you is to consider you have no soulmate. Never mind. Yes, of course, Judaism says there's such a thing, but not necessarily. Is that where we think it is? If you go into it through the headsp space of I have no soulmate, then when I'm marrying someone, it's not cuz I'm on some trip. I'm marrying them cuz I actually want to marry them. I actually like them. And so, there's something healthy about not being attached to these higher, bigger ideas that are not part of our equation here in this world. We need to be in the moment. Is this person someone who I want to marry right now? All right, my friends. I hope this is meaningful. I hope this is helpful. And that concludes our series. But follow for more and we'll be giving out more content coming soon. Also, which of these commandments was meaningful for you? Which one was more of an aha moment for you? And which one would you have wished you would have known in the past? Would love to see you in the comments and we'll keep it going