Thanksgiving, Turkey, Corona, & the Jews - Zoom Lecture with Palm Beach Community

Thank you so so much to my dear colleague and friend Rabbi Moshi Shiner. Just give me a thumbs up that you could see me and hear me. Okay, perfect. Indeed, every visit to the Palm Beach community, to the Palm Beach Orthodox Synagogue, was always moving, inspiring, and always touched me deeply to be able to see the work that Rabbi and Rabbitson Shiner did over the last few decades in Palm Beach really turning that remote location in terms of Yiddishkite remote into a thriving Jewish center with Jewish pride and scholarship and growth and unity and camaraderie is really extremely inspiring. And I am honored to be here with you with the Palm Beach community with the Palm Beach Orthodox Synagogue under the dedicated leadership of Rabbi Moishi Shiner and Rebbitson Shiner. And uh I hope very soon we'll be able to uh see each other face to face, not only on Zoom, but really thank you so much for this privilege. And thank you to everyone who's participating from the entire Palm Beach community and anybody who's tuning in from wherever you are uh around the world. Thank you very much. I want to address as the rabbi said, talk about Thanksgiving, the holiday of today, tomorrow, Thursday and the Jewish people and Corona. Now, some wonder what's Thanksgiving on the poster, the flyer, it said Thanksgiving and the Jews. What do the Jews have with the Puritans who arrived on the Mayflower in 1620? Why is what does Thanksgiving have to do with Jews? What does eating turkey and cranberry sauce have to do with Jews? So, the first thing is some Jews take credit for everything. You know that, right? And uh there's always you always had an uncle at Thanksgiving dinner who knew every Jewish Nobel Prize winner. I call him Uncle Harry. There's always that one uncle usually with thicker glasses who knows the name of every Jew who ever w won a Nobel a Nobel prize. But really, what's the connection of Jews to Thanksgiving? Is there a connection of Jews to Thanksgiving? They say they tell a story about um a Stamford graduate, a Jewish graduate who cames to his grandmother and he spoke about his doctorate and how his professors were enthralled and how they complimented him and they extolled him with praises for his great contribution. And she said, "What was the topic of your of your doctorate?" And he said topic of the doctrate was how they're dealing with the dangers of elephants in Africa. And I I I suggest the different methods of preserving that unique species, that beloved species, the elephant. So grandmother looks and says, "But bottom line, is it good for the Jews?" For some people, you know, there's one prism that they are accustomed to thinking about things. But in all sincerity, it's a great question. And I'm going to give my little little spin on it. But I want to begin by talking about a different subject and then coming back to Thanksgiving, coming back to the turkey, coming back to the cranberry sauce and coming back also to the Corona virus and then coming back to Palm Beach or we're already in Palm Beach at least to some degree. There is a unique scene and it always disturbed me in Genesis and it's the Torah portion of this week, the Shabbat after Thanksgiving this year. Shabas pares it's a very perplexing all the portions of Genesis. You know, each one could keep you up for decades. Every year I learn them. I learn it again. Never gets by. I thought I knew the story. The the powerful thing about the Torah is you thought you knew the story. I read it again. I never heard the story before. Every year there's a new story. There's a new layer to discover, new terrains to excavate that were untouched before. The BMP said it says in Psalms to the Torah of God is wholesome. It's complete. So he said, "It's like nobody ever touched it. Even when Jews and others have been studying it for 3,300 years, it remains untouched because infinity remains untouched. It can't be depleted. Even if you take if you have a bank account with theoretically infinite amount of dollars, you can take as much as you want. You didn't touch it because you're dealing with infinity." And it's such a powerful description of Torah. Every story you read it again and again and again. It was never told before. There's always another dimension, another perspective. The horizons extend. Odd infinitum. There is a moment when Rachel gives birth. Rachel has been infertile. She's been a barren woman. and she could not have children to the point that she comes to her husband Jacob Yakov and she says deliver children from me if not I am considered dead I am a dead woman walking those are sharp words for the matriarch of the Jewish people and her husband gets upset with her he says what do I look like God am I in lie of God I have obstructed your path of having children. As they say for me, what do you want from me? Also very interesting, very intriguing and perplexing response. But at last, after a long wait, Rachel gives birth to a child. Says God remembered Rachel. He opened her womb and she has a baby. What is her response when she has this baby? You remember? So the Torah says in Genesis, Rachel says, I'll say it in Hebrew, which literally means God has removed my shame. This is her response. Very difficult to understand. You haven't had a baby in many years. Finally, you had a child, a little cute, angelic baby boy. What's your response? God removed my shame. What? She was ashamed. She was embarrassed. What shame is there in an infertile woman who cannot conceive a child? We're talking about the Torah. Why should she be ashamed? If somebody is suffering from an illness, they should be ashamed. I mean maybe in certain societies where there's no dignity for a person's journey, illness is shame. Why should you be ashamed? It's not your fault. Somebody who's an invalid or somebody who's crippled or somebody who has cancer or somebody who's infected by a dangerous virus, God forbid or somebody is crippled, they should be ashamed. Why should they be ashamed? It wasn't Rachel's fault that biologically she couldn't have children. I understand. She could say, "God took away my pain, my anguish, maybe my jealousy." It says she was jealous on some level, my loneliness, my sense of despair. But why was she ashamed? She didn't do anything wrong to anybody. Why was she embarrassed? Rashi. Rashi the great biblical commentator of the 11th century in France. Rabenu Schlommo Yitski known as Rashi offers a very perturbing answer and he quotes it from the Medish. And Rashi gives the following answer and I quote. He says the Midrish says as long as a woman has no child they blame her for all of her faults. As soon as she has a child, she starts blaming the child. And Rashi gives an example. Who broke this dish? Your child. Who ate these figs? Your child. Got it? Rachel was previously ashamed because she had nobody to blame for her errors, oversightes, and flaws. The food was burnt. Rachel is a lousy cook. The keys to the car are lost. Of course, Rahul is irresponsible. Rachel is in a bad mood. Of course, she is impulsive and irrational. A plate breaks. Of course, she's a schlamasle. The couch is dirty. Of course, Rachel is a lazy couch potato. The home is unckempt. Of course, Rachel can't keep it together. She's not a balabosta, as your mother would say. But now with the birth of her son, Joseph, the shame is gone. The food burnt. You know why? Cuz the baby couldn't stop crying. He had a fever. She had to run to the doctor. The food burnt. The keys to the car are lost. Of course, the baby got a hold of them and threw them into the dust bin. The plate broke. The baby dropped it. The couch is dirty. Of course, the baby decided to have ice cream on the couch. The house is a mess. Of course, the baby is at fault. So if I understand correctly and help me out my friends, this is why Rachel who was childless for 13 years wanted a baby. Not for the incredible experience of creating life. Not for the infinite joy of having a child. Not for the love, delight, and happiness that comes with the singular mother child relationship. No, all of this was not a motivating factor. This is not what she's celebrating. Finally, God has given me a child. You know why she wanted a child? So that she has somebody to blame for all of her mistakes. She has somebody to blame for the fact that turkey and cranberry sauce are all over the floor. For the fact that the glass is strewn and all over the floor, she has somebody to blame. Friends, is this absurd or what? Rachel, barren and infertile, is yearning for a child to the point of telling her husband, "Without a child, I feel dead." That is how much she craved a child. Why? So that she can have somebody to blame for all her mistakes. And she says, "God removed my shame." What is even more strange to seem skewed and dishonest because if Rachel didn't really make errors like breaking dishes and eating up figs, then she wouldn't have had a reason to be ashamed with to begin with. And if she did eat figs and she did break dishes and she was constantly getting embarrassed, what is exactly her comfort now? that when she breaks a plate, she will lie and blame it on her little child. But you know what's even more disturbing? She names her baby Yoseph, Joseph. You know why he has the name Yoseph? Because Asaf elim because her shame was removed. Assaf, Yoseph means removed. God removed her shame. You're giving your child, a child for whom you waited for a decade and a half. You're finally giving him a name. And what's the name? The name represents the fact that you have somebody to blame for all your mistakes. I think a therapist, a psychotherapist would have a good time with this one, my friends. But it's here that we have to dig a little deeper to uncover the gems and life lessons the Torah is teaching us with this story. In essence, Rachel is conveying to us an eternal message, an extraordinary message about, you guessed it, thanksgiving. How did Thanksgiving begin? What is Thanksgiving? Well, many of us know the story. In 1620, the Mayflower arrives. I think it was around 102 or 104 passengers who arrive in Massachusetts and settle what would become our blessed country, the United States of America. Remember, this is 1620. Okay, just for little historical context, it's approximately 80 years before the Balshamtov is born. It's 20 years, 28 years before the massacres of 1648 and 1649 by Bden Kalanetski and the Kazaks that would wipe out hundreds of thousands of Jews in Poland. It's the era of such luminaries as the shalah, the Maharal, Rabbi Yeshur. It's the famous Shalah. It's just a few years before the false messiah would declare himself as the Messiah and then ultimately he would convert to Islam which would shake up the whole Jewish world. Of course, the center of Jewish life is in Europe. But in 1620, the Mayflower arrives. The first Thanksgiving Day dinner, according to most historians, was held by the pilgrims, by those who arrived in 1620, to celebrate their survival of the particular harsh winters of 1622 and 1623. And we know that those winters claimed the lives of more than 40 of the passengers on the Mayflower. So this was not just a celebration that was so rosy and dandy. It came with pain and it came with difficulty. The celebration takes place in July 1623 preceded and followed by other celebrations of thanksgiving. And it seems at least according to many that the pilgrims called all wild fowl turkey. This was their name for the wild foul. Governor William Bradford who was a Puritan who arrived on the Mayflower in 1620. He sent men to capture fowl to bring home for the to bring back for the women to cook. We don't know if it was wild turkey, if it was duck, if it was goose, maybe it was eagles or some other bird, but they called it turkey. They roasted the birds on spits for their great c for their for their uh dinner for their celebration. And therefore, modern-day Thanksgiving centers on Turkey, especially after President Abraham Lincoln declared it in 1863 as a national holiday and turkey being such a uh beloved quintessential American food, it became the staple for Thanksgiving dinner. But let's go one step further. The Hebrew word for Turkey, anybody knows what's the Hebrew word for Turkey? It's called Tarnagal Hu. Often it's just called Haidu. Haidu. Why is it called Haidu? Haidu is actually a biblical name for India. That's why it's called often the Indian chicken. It's the name of the bird in many European languages. For example, in Russian, right? It's called the induk in Polish, Indik, French, dindi. In Yiddish, indic. Why all these names? Indic is in Yiddish your grandmother would call it indic. Indic is India. In Yiddish, you have an expression. He began whimpering like a turkey. Another expression in Yiddish, what's makes a difference to the turkey if you slaughter him on Purim or you slit him on Passover. Even in Turkey, the country Turkey, they call the bird Hindi. Again, India. Of course, the bird is American. It originates in North America. So why is it associated with Turkey which is a country not America or India and in Hebrew as well it's called if you remember the opening of the migill the first verse in the days of who reigned from India hidu from India to Ethiopia and that's the Hebrew name for the Turkey Haidu not only in Hebrew as I said in Yiddish and in many other languages. So what I read quite a few years ago was that the English name Turkey comes from an incorrect identification of the bird with the African guinea fowl. The African guinea fowl entered Europe through Turkey. And this mistake gave this North American bird the name Turkey because it came through Turkey. How about India? Why is there a connection with India? The connection to India is because of another misunderstanding. The first Europeans who reached the western hemisphere thought they were in India. That's why you have the name Indians or the native peoples. So this bird is either known as the Indian chicken or as the turkey because it's but it's really an American bird. I guess even to get your name right, you need masle. But there's another coincidence here. And maybe it's not a coincidence. The BMP says everything is orchestrated by divine providence. Haidu, the name for Turkey in Hebrew is the name in Hebrew also for India. And it appears once in the book of Esther. Why is Haidu why is Haidu called India? What's the connection? And the reason is I'm not going to get into details now. It's not a class in linguistics, but the name derives from the Persian word Hindu. As it often happens, the nun is dropped out in Hebrew. So, it became Haidu. Became Haidu. And this is the area basically of the Indus river. The Indus river which goes through Pakistan and India. One of the longest rivers in the world came to be associated as the Indis river which is India which in Hebrew they dropped the no and it became Haidu. But in Hebrew Haidu also means something else. Haidu means India. Haidu means the turkey which became associated with India because they thought that was America. But you know what else Haidu means in Hebrew? Thanks. Thanksgiving. We say every morning the opening of our prayers is what express gratitude to God. It comes from a book. It comes from psalms. And the word is a very common word in Judaism. We thank you. Gratitude. Rabbi Sha just mentioned Yehuda. The the fourth son of Jacob and Leia was called Yehuda. Yehuda is what? Haidu. India. Hapam Hashem. I'm going to be grateful. I'm going to thank you. Our name, as he mentioned, as the rabbi mentioned, it's called Yehudi. Jud Jew. What's a Jew? A Jew comes from Judah. Yehuda. Why is Judah called Judah? because it comes from the word gratitude, thanksgiving. And that's how we begin our prayer every morning. And as Rabbi Sha mentioned, when we wake up in the morning, we start off with the word, which is thank you. So, isn't this interesting? We eat turkey on Thanksgiving. The turkey in Hebrew is called because of a historical mistake. And yet, we eat turkey on Thanksgiving. And it's the name, the bird's name is Haidu. It was a mistake. But what does hidu mean? Haidu means thanksgiving. So on thanksgiving we eat a bird which is called haidu in Hebrew and in other languages which actually means thanksgiving. In other words, those of you who davin every single morning or come to minion every morning get to enjoy the turkey not once a year. You get to enjoy the turkey every morning 365 days a year because we commence our service with haidu which means turkey. And actually, we don't celebrate Thanksgiving once a year. We celebrate Thanksgiving three times a day. And it always begins with a verbal turkey, the declaration of Haidu. And by the way, it has the advantage of not having any calories. And it works even for extreme vegans. Saying Haidu does not interfere with being a vegan. And they say it may even be it may even be healthier. Some even say I don't know that this is accurate. I read it maybe true maybe not true that the pilgrims many of them were Puritans and really steeped in the Bible as you know they saw their arrival to America as a form of exodus just as the Jews were emancipated from Egypt Egyptian oppression they were emancipated from the oppression that they experienced in Europe in England and Holland they can't serve God according to their conscience and soul and some say that they establish thanksgiving as a commemoration or a replica of sukose which is the holiday of harvest which is a holiday associated with harvest and gathering the grain into the silo and they also were celebrating the harvests and they were celebrating thanksgiving and in the fall. So some say that it may have been associated with the concept of sukis which is a time of joy and a time of thanksgiving. Again, I'm not sure that historically historically this is accurate, but one thing is sure that the concept of haidu, gratitude, saying thanks, haidu as the turkey and haidu as the verbal haidu is not just part of Judaism, but it's maybe one of the fundamentals of Judaism. It's our very name. Why am I called a Jew? Because I know how to say thank you. In other words, to be a Jew means to live with gratitude, to live with a sense of gratefulness, to live with a sense of not taking life for granted, not taking any blessing for granted. But how do you live with gratitude? How do you incorporate Thanksgiving not just into a beautiful dinner, hopefully with family and friends according to the circumstances, but really in your heart, in your soul? And not just on Thanksgiving, the fourth Thursday in November, but really every day of the year. And not just once a day, but many times a day. How do we do it? This is what Rachel taught us 3,000 600 years ago when she gave birth to that baby, Yoseph, Joseph. And why did she name him Yoseph? You remember? because God removed my shame with all the questions we raised above for. Of course, I have a little bias here because my name is also Yoseph. And u I don't know if when I was born, my mother said uh you know, people were blaming me and now I'll blame Y. I'll blame me. But I'm the youngest. I'm the baby of the family. So I wasn't like Joseph who was Rachel's oldest. But listen now, I want to go one step deeper with you. The only people who I know who have perfect lives are the people I don't know well. The only marriages that are perfect are the marriages I don't know well. The only families that are perfect are the families I don't know well. In all of our lives, there is a gap between what we have and what we want. Even the most blessed of us never have all of our dreams fulfilled. There is always something lacking. Nobody gets everything in this world. It's just the way it is. Some things are given to us and some things are denied. And even when we're given something, it's never perfect. The package usually comes with fine print that you may have not realized in the beginning. You always wanted the blessing of marriage. You have it. But then you realize it comes with some fine print. You didn't realize earlier. You know the old joke, right? They asked a woman, "How is marriage?" She said, "Before I was married, I was incomplete. Now I'm married and I'm finished." They once there was a a linguistic teacher, a linguistic professor. So he asked the students if they know the difference in English language between a battle and an engagement. So, one of the kids, one of the students raises his hand and says, "Of course, one is before the wedding and one is after the wedding." So, there's always the fine print. There is the challenges that come with the blessings of marriage. You're blessed with children, but raising them can be very difficult, sometimes excruciatingly painful, especially yiddeshas and yiddeshas. You have your own company. You always wanted to have your own company, but maintaining steady revenue, especially during Corona, is nerve-wracking. It's easy and natural to get into the mode of fetching, of complaining, of dwelling on that which is imp that which is imperfect, that which is missing. Comes Rachel and teaches us an incredible simple and deep lesson in life. Your child broke the beautiful expensive flower vase. Your child just dropped your new topofthe-line iPhone 11 Pro Max. The best of the best. He just dropped it and it broke. I could say one of two things. I could say, "Ah, how stupid. What a waste of money. What a headache." Okay. But I can also say something else. Thank God I have a child. I have a child who can walk, who can pick things up, who can drop things and break them. Your husband comes home from work. He comes home late. He texted you. He's going to be home at 6:30 p.m. Maybe before Corona. At 6:30, you asked him new. He said, "I'm leaving in 3 minutes." A half an hour later, he's still not home. You could think to yourself, "He's so irresponsible. He's out of touch. He's not reliable. He's out for lunch. He's always late. He never keeps his word. Okay, but you could say something else. Thank God I have a husband. Thank God I have a husband who loves me, who comes home to me, who cares for me, who cherishes me, whom I can trust, a husband who's crazy about me. Thank God I have a husband who works hard, who's alive and well. He has a job. He can go to work and come home late. And when your mother calls you or your grandmother calls you for help in the house, I could say, "Oh, I hate this. She's getting old. My entire life now has to revolve around her needs." Or I could say, "Wow, thank God I have a mother." Your mother calls. Here she goes. She's pushy again. She's stressing me out. She's controlling. Or you could say, "I have a mother. I have a father." How many people in the world don't have the gift of living parents? You come into the office or home and you experience overload. There's 90 emails that you have to respond to. There's six different options for future growth. Endless loads of work. You could say, "Oh, I am so busy. I'm stressed. I have no time. I have no mental space. No serenity. So much confusion." Or you could say, "I have a job. I have six different options. I have so much to do. I'm busy. I'm productive. People need me. I'm needed. Rather than I sit and don't know what to do with my life. Your wife rebukes you for your mistakes. Ever happens in Palm Beach. Your wife tells you about the wrong things you have done. You could say, "H, she's criticizing me again." Or you could say, "Thank God I have a wife who cares about me so deeply, who loves me and is disturbed by my behavior. Your kids or your grandkids come to Palm Beach. The anacl come home for Thanksgiving. They're going to make a balagan this weekend. I hope they can make it home despite corona. They're going to make a balagan. The place is going to be upside down. You could zoom in exclusively on the mess. I hate this. I can't deal with it. I had enough. Or you could focus on the fact that you have children, grandchildren, great grandchildren who are filled with gusto and good spirits. I'm not here to celebrate a mess in your house or breaking plates or glass or flower vases or coming home late or complaining. I'm not I'm not romanticizing challenges, but it's a matter of perspective. My computer breaks down, my car breaks down, something else breaks down, there's a leak in the house. I could say, "O what a headache." Or I could say, and it's true, it is a headache. Or I can say I have a house. I own a computer. I own a car. That puts me in 1% bracket superior to most people on this planet. Rachel has a baby. You know what the first thing she says is? God removed my shame. And she gives him the name Joseph. Why? She says, "Till I have a child, they blame me for all the mistakes." Now they will finally blame him. They will say, "Who broke the dish? Joseph. Who stole? Who ate the figs? Joseph. Who ate up the cheesecake? Joseph. Who ate up the babka? Joseph. Why is there wine and orange juice all over the floor? Ysef. Raul yearned to have a baby because she wanted a baby. But she knew human nature that once we have blessings, once we have miracles, we start taking them for granted. And then all we notice is the imperfections, the flaws, that which is missing. We tend to focus on the imperfections. So Rachel says, "You know what I want to do with this baby? I want to remember the miracle. I want to remember the blessing. Before he was born, who broke the plate?" Rachel. Now he's born and he breaks the plate and they're going to say, "Joseph." When there's a mess in the house, I want to look at this boy and say, "Bor Hashem, I have a baby." Of course, if I wouldn't have a baby, there would be no messes. I never ever want to take my blessings for granted. I never ever want to ignore my miracles. I never ever want to overlook everything that I have to be thankful for in life. Rachel knew that we are obsessed in finding the negative always instead of the positive. So Rachel says, "From now on, when your child or grandchild or grand great great-grandchild or husband or wife or brother or sister or father or mother or sibling or yourself, breaks something or eats up the fresh food you made for the guests. You made this beautiful turkey. You come into the kitchen and of course your youngest your youngest son who's a glutton on a good day already decided to consume a little bit of it. And what happens? You get upset. Rachel says, "Attribute the problem to your child." Whoa, whoa, wait. Attribute the problem to your child. Say, "Thank God you took away my shame because my child did this." Meaning, remember that the only reason you have this problem is because you were blessed with a child. You could see your problem as a problem or you could see your problem in the context of a miracle. Rachel says, "That's what I want to remember. I want to always attribute the problem, the stress, to the miracle." Of course, the figs were eaten because I have a child. Of course, the plate was broken because I have a child. I could say, "My child made a mess." Or I could say, "My child is keeping me up at night. My marriage is stressful, but there's a marriage, there's a relationship I can work on. Do you know under a we break a glass and we say masletov? Why? Why don't we say oi $10 down the drain? That would be a Jewish response. What's this masletov? This was Rachel's gift. When the plate breaks, $10 down the drain. But say something else. Say masletov. I have a home. I have dishes. My husband broke something. Thank God he's not an angel. He's a human being. He breaks things. I have a child who's alive and breaks dishes. I'm alive. I can make mistakes. Dead people can't make mistakes. Thank God I'm stressed. I have room for growth. I have anxiety. Of course, I have things to work on. I'm having anxiety. What's anxiety? I could say, "Oh, you have anxiety." Or I could say, "I was given a gift of awareness. I'm alive and I'm having anxiety because there's a message inside of me that I have something to work on. And Rachel gives the na baby this name. God removed my shame. In other words, always have this name. Ysef, I want you to remember to always attribute your problems to the blessings preceding the problems. This was the secret of Joseph's life. How did he survive? We all know that Joseph endured tremendous pain and agony. His brothers despised him. They threw him into a pit. They sold him into slavery. He was accused of promiscuity. He was thrown into a dungeon for 12 years. And yet throughout his life, he never lost his joy, his grace, his gusto, his passion for life, his love for people and his ambition to succeed and his ability to forgive. Nobody in the Tanakh is as cheerful, as alive, as vibrant, and as full of confidence and charm and grace like Joseph. With a story like his, we would expect him to be bitter, cynical, indifferent, harsh, angry, ston-like. Ara feels no pain, and an island never cries. Yet, Joseph weeps more than anybody else in the Hebrew Bible. How did he do this friends? You got it. It was the gift of thanksgiving. It was the gift of Haidu. It was the gift of Rachel, his mother Raal. Though she died when he was 9 years old, she bequeathed to him a gift. It was her spirit, her perspective on how to live, she taught him consciously and subconsciously. Every challenge can only exist because it has a blessing as its backdrop. I feel pain, but it means I'm alive and I have feelings. I'm hurt, but it means that I have a heart and I'm sensitive. I have a conflict with somebody, with my spouse or somebody else, it means I'm blessed to have a soul partner. My children are making me muga, it means I have children. I am dealing with internal stress and anxiety. It means that God is sending me an alarm clock to wake me up to what I have to work on. I'm stressed about a relationship with somebody in my family. It means there is an opportunity here for mending, for renewal, for repentance, for transformation. Tell a story about the holy of when he was a child, he often went hungry, but he was always thankful for his life. And once he was really hungry and someone overhears him talking to God and he says, "God, I want to thank you for giving me such an appetite." In other words, even his hunger he experienced as something to be thankful for. It can only exist in the context of a blessing. God gave me an appetite. This does not mean hunger is good. This does not mean we should invite pain and stress into our lives. God forbid. It means when you look at your life, you have to choose to choose what to see. I can focus on that which is missing and I could focus on the blessings that allow for the imperfections. And you know what happens then? You can actually work on the imperfections with more uh grace and with more passion and the issues will be fixed much faster because you're more alive and you're more vibrant and you have more uh stamina and more inspiration. And that's why when you live that life, you live in a much happier place, in a much more serene space. And of course, my dearest friends, I think this is so critical for this moment in history when we are all facing adversity and we are all facing a profound challenge. We are all in the same storm. Even though we're not in the same boat, there is financial pressure. There is psychological pressure. There is the stress and loneliness of being quarantined. There is deterioration of people who can't follow various routines that they had previously in life. There are those who have suffered the loss of loved ones or the illness of people who are so close to them. And the future remains uncertain. And this is besides the havoc with the elections of the United States of America and the havoc that came with the rioting and all of the other tensions and problems and anxieties that we all face. Remember Rachel, remember Joseph, and remember the Jewish approach to Thanksgiving to eat a turkey. I hope you enjoy your turkey, but I'm talking about the other turkey, the hidu. They're able to wake up in the morning and the first thing is this is our turkey. You want to put in some cranberry sauce. I'm thankful. Be grateful. Grateful for what? Grateful for my soul. Grateful for my body. Grateful that God chose me as his ambassador to this world. Is everything perfect? No. Are there challenges? Yes. But I was not thrown into these challenges as a punishment. I was sent on a mission. God has given me the resources to face every challenge that comes my way. And the mission is to bring light into the darkness, to bring goodness and holiness into unholiness, to bring wholesomeness into toxicity, and to bring warmth and passion and truth into a world of falsehood. Never be afraid of a challenge or of a thought or of emotion, an emotion that really is eating up on you. It's part of your spiritual mission. Your soul is divine. And therefore, every experience, every encounter is not there to bring you down. It's an opportunity to bring out the best in you. It's an opportunity to help you grow. For this, we need to learn gratitude and we need to learn humility. Haidu in Hebrew means two things. It means great, thankful, thank you. It also means submission, humility. Humility is life is not always about what I imagined it to be. My purpose is not always what I thought it is. Maybe God has different plans for me. I have to have the humility to be able to recalculate. You know, ways when you take a wrong lift, a wrong a wrong left or a wrong right, they recalculate. I have to be able to say maybe I have to recalculate and ask myself not what God can do for me but what what I can do for God. Not what the Jewish people can do for me, what I can do for the Jewish people. Not what everybody can do for me, the community, but what I can do for the community. Ask not what the world can do for you. Ask what you can do for the world. That's the attitude of hidu. That's the attitude of gratefulness and it's the attitude of humility. It's the attitude that allows for people to mature, to embrace life with dignity, with courage, with equilibrium, with wisdom, with humility, with authenticity, and with integrity. My dearest friends, as we enter into Thanksgiving, I bless all of you, my dear brothers and sisters in Palm Beach. You should always have what to be grateful for in a revealed way. Your life should be overflowing with so much blessings that you won't even be a question of why and how you should celebrate Thanksgiving every day and every moment of your lives. Thank you very much. Thank you, Rabbi Jacobson, for that very inspiring [Music] thoughtful message. Excellent question. And the answer to that is there's another meaning in the word haidu. We got turkey. You're gonna be tested. We got turkey. Haidu. We had thank you. Gratitude. We had submission. It also means something else. Confession. When you confess a sin, it's called maid. Confession is vulnerable, right? You know why? When I have to say, I'm sorry. I made a mistake. I apologize. It's very vulnerable. Saying thank you is also very vulnerable because real gratitude is vulnerable. Real gratitude means I need you. Real gratitude means I'm not on my own. I'm not a self-contained self-sufficient creature. We need each other. Real gratitude is real vulnerability. It's stripping myself from my ego and my insecurity. It's looking you in the eyes and saying thank you. And you know what? Try it out. When was the last think? I'm going to give you a little challenge for this Thanksgiving. I want you to think about three people who have given you a tremendous gift in your life and have changed your life to the better. Maybe a piece of advice, maybe mentorship, maybe they showed empathy when you needed it. Whatever it is, maybe it happened many years ago. Think of three people who really gave you something that changed your life in a very meaningful and positive way. And now ask yourself, did you ever thank them? Did you ever tell them what they did for you and how much you're appreciative? If not, do it. You know why? They probably don't know. And even if they do, it will be very meaningful. And you'll see it's vulnerable. It's v to say a real thank you is vulnerable. It means I need you. But it's part of the fabric of life because we all need each other. And I say thank you to you. You say thank you to me. Thank you Jacob. He was listening. The rabbi was listening. Focus on the posit. we hold on to this message tonight. Two I would I would suggest three things three things. The first is actually interwoven into Jewish ritual. Every morning, right when you open your eyes, before you brush your teeth, before you check your phone for emails and WhatsApps and what's happening with the elections and Rudy Giuliani and Biden and and Trump, before you go there, before anything, say this little meditation that's in the beginning of every Jewish prayer book. Thank you God the eternal king for giving me back my soul. And then after you wash your hands and you do whatever you have to do in the morning, there is a list of blessings that Jews recite every morning for thousands of years, much before the United States of America was founded and before Thanksgiving came into reality. Every day there's a list of blessings that we thank God for right when we wake up before the prayers. It's the first thing we do. It's a beautiful list. You can get yourself an English prayer book or whatever language you understand. And I would suggest it takes five, six minutes. Read it through every morning. But meditate. Don't just read it. Meditate. We thank God for vision. We thank God for waking up in the morning, for the ability to move our bones, for the ability to walk on steady earth, for the fact that we have legs that are keeping us up, for the fact that we can operate and function in the real world. We ask God to help us during this day to remain in a safe space emotionally, morally, spiritually, psychologically. That's the first thing. When you do this every day, it right away puts you into a mindset. And this is before business, before breakfast, before going to yoga, pilates, therapy, work, emails. This is the opening of the Jewish day. It sets the tone. Even when aggravating things happen, it sets the tone. That's number one. Number two, when things happen during the day, take a Somebody sends you a message, it's hurtful. Somebody called you, it's hurtful. You get an email, something happened. Take if it's an emergency, you deal with it. But I'm not talking about an emergency that you have to deal with right away. Take a deep breath and remember all your thoughts and all your emotions are just thoughts and emotions. They don't constitute your essence. When we get stressed or anxious or upset or angry, we think that's who we are. It's not who you are. It's a thought. It says in Tanya that thoughts are clothes. They're garments. My shirt gets dirty. I don't go to therapy. I'm dirty. I'm dirty. Take off your shirt. Anxious thoughts are garments. They're not your essence. So, middle of the day when you have this anxious or angry thought, let it be. Take a deep breath and then remember you're bigger than your thoughts. You're larger than your thoughts. You could contain your thoughts. Your thoughts don't have to contain you. You define them. They don't define you. In other words, operate from a deeper space. And when you have an anxious thought, you can even try this right now if you want. If you have an anxious thought, it comes in, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and instead of getting all worked up, remember, it's an experience you're having. It's clothes that may be filthy and aggravating. And you know what? You can take it off in a few minutes. Even if you can't take it off right now, you'll take it off in an hour. It's not the end of the world. Let it not constitute your essence. You're bigger than it. And in your inner core, you'll find gratefulness. And the last thing I would say is every day, every day of your life, try to reach out to one person who can use help. It could be a telephone call, a WhatsApp message, a a gift. Tell them you're thinking about them, an email. Reach out to somebody, a relative, a friend, a former friend, a neighbor, anybody, and be there for them and help them. And you will see that that itself in itself will elevate your life to a different plateau. Do not go to sleep at night until you could tell yourself, I did one favor to a person. I showed kindness. I helped them in one way or another. What happens then is the love that we unleash, the love that we sent comes right back to us. The goodness you give to other people comes right back to you. Jacobson, thank you. Jewish tradition teaches that just like we have to thank God for the good businessful. That's a great question. When the Jewish tradition tells us to be thankful for the negative, it's actually one step deeper. And here I have to qualify. We're all human and life is tough. And what I'm saying sounds good, but it's not always easy. You know, somebody's business goes down the drain, they say, "Yeah, at least I had a business for 30 years." Or somebody gets divorced, they say, "Yeah, at least I had a marriage for many years. It ended up as a disaster." So, we all know that life can be very, very painful. And it's not always easy to say, "Yeah, when my son breaks a plate, I could say, I have a child who broke a plate. It's not the end of the world." But sometimes there are deeper challenges, right? You're dealing with a serious illness in the family. a child, God forbid, is taken, heaven forbid, or a child is so sick. So, it becomes much much harder. It's not always so dandy and rosy. And here, it's very very important on one hand to be honest with your emotions and to be able to know and feel what you're feeling and experiencing. And there are some painful experiences in life that we cannot understand what's the goodness, what's the meaning, what's the purpose, why? And we shouldn't try to rationalize and justify and explain and everything is really beautiful and it comes with blessings because sometimes it's so painful and it's important to be honest with your emotions. It's not a good thing to lie to yourself and lie to God and lie to others. But at such a moment, this is where it's important not to process everything with our rational brains because sometimes we'll get stuck. There's no way of understanding it. And some things cause a lot of grief and a lot of pain. And yet and yet there's a deep faith that Judaism encourages which is the faith that everything has some meaning. Everything has some purpose that somehow life has an architect who runs the world and every single experience ultimately is not there to break us and destroy us but to allow us to fulfill our journey in this world. Do I understand why me and why like this and why couldn't this happen? Some things you can't understand. But what I want to be able to focus on is two things. First of all, to be grateful for the opportunity of being alive and fulfilling my mission. To be grateful for all of the good things I could focus on. And number two, to be able to know that in some mysterious fashion, there is a purpose here. There is a mission here. Will I be able to know what it is today? Not necessarily. Tomorrow maybe, maybe not. This is where faith comes in. But this is not a contradiction to the fact that we look at reality and we say some things I just cannot understand. But I have to accept that God who was the source of love and the source of goodness somehow felt that this is part of my journey. Sometimes you hear people have challenges that you know child relationship with the parents. It's a good question. expressing gratitude for the good that relationship [Music] but also how do you hold on to the positive or do you have to express yeah I think this is really the key message that Rachel was communicating with us and that is there are sometimes relationships that are stressed that are filled with pain misunderstanding understanding frustration and it's important despite that to also be able to remember the good. You may have a difficult time with your mother or with your father, with your brother, with your sister or with your ex, right? Or with your present spouse or with a partner, a business partner, but don't wipe out everything. Don't obliterate everything. This mother was up nights with you in the hospital. This mother carried you for 9 months. nursed you, raised you, gave you a home and shelter and food. Did she make mistakes? Yes, she made mistakes. Does she have trauma? Yeah, she has intergenerational trauma. No question. Does she have her issues? Yeah. Did she do things maliciously? I assume not. She probably did the best she can. And even if Yeah, she may have a Yates and made some bad mistakes. But you know what? You can't obliterate everything. You're here in the world because somebody made a choice to bring you into this world. So you say, "Oh, well, kids today say, I read an article, a kid told his parents, I'm going to sue you for giving birth to me without asking permission." Now, I found that pretty audacious. None of us were asked whether we should be born, but most of us are very thankful for the gift of life. But this child either this child is just never learned any human mention or this child is traumatized and broken to their core that life is so painful. So I'm not judging them but I think it's important within all of us to cultivate a sense of gratitude and it's called putting it in perspective in context. It doesn't mean you don't need boundaries. It doesn't mean that your relationship is not difficult. It doesn't mean you don't have to do certain things to protect yourself. But in most cases, I wouldn't advise cut off the relationship. A mother is a mother. A father is a father. A brother is a brother. Just even if there's issues, create borders. Maybe you need a therapist to help you create borders. You need a good professional. But to cut people out of your life completely, especially people who have been close to you, I think is usually emotionally not good for you too. And you'll regret it one day. There is an exception. The exception is if there's active abuse going on. If the relationship is causing you now a lot of pain or a lot of abuse, then you may have to create a different strategy for yourself. Or if you have been abused terribly by this person. A woman just wrote to me. You'll you'll I'll be frank with you. It's not easy to tell tell you. Her father molested her for many years. Okay? It came out recently. Nobody knows about it. She can't look her father in the face. When she looks at her father, she's nauseous for a week and she gets sick. And people told her, "You have to respect your father. Why doesn't he come to your house anymore?" She told me, "I get sick." That's a different story. Her trauma is so deep. This father never even apologized. The the father never said, "I'm sorry." That's a whole different story. Here you have a person who's still abusing her. then you have to make sure to take care of yourself first. But if it's not such a severe situation, I would usually advise you have to be able to have a bird's eyee view and say there is pain, there is disappointment, there were mistakes made, but there were also a lot of good things that were done. Look at you. You're such a brilliant, handsome, beautiful guy. Your mother and father get a little bit of the credit. It's their genes, at least partially. The first time I gave a public speech, one of the first times, Rabbi Shiner, it was in Houston, Texas. I was a yeshiva student. So the rabbi there, his name is Rabbi Lazerov. So I have to say this in Yiddish. I finished the speech. He says, "The Tata's cup on the mama's pisk, your father's brains and your mother's mouth." In Yiddish, it works. You know people, we are our parents. We have the genes of our parents. So let's remember everything that we owe our parents, not only everything that they owe us. Okay. Rebeccas. It was a group of great people who memorized literally every six hours of discussions and then they would sit down and recreate. Yes. Even questions references to it. And then the question I have is how personifies what we discussed tonight. Okay, a wonderful question. Two questions. Did the Reba address thanksgiving and how did the Reba personify some of these thoughts? And the answer to the first question is when I was a child, there was a story that circulated, but I can't tell you that it's accurate. There was just a story that was circulating that um that somebody asked the labavatureba, "Do we Jews could we celebrate Thanksgiving?" And the Reb said, "Could we we celebrate Thanksgiving three times a day?" Which was really a beautiful, beautiful response because Thanksgiving was really that those who came here to this country understood that life should not be taken for granted. Say thank you. say thank you. The fact that I sit here with you and I could speak to you and we could learn Torah. Don't take it for granted. I don't take Zoom for granted. I don't take technology for granted. And don't take your biological systems for granted. Not your urinary system and not your respiratory system. And yet the digestive system and not your circulatory system. You know what the you know what the the midrash says? Says on Hallelujah. In Psalms it says every soul should say thank you. So the midra says soul comes from the word nishima which means breath. That's why taking breaths is so good for the soul. So he says every breath you have to say thank you. Every breath. So this was the story that went around. If I'm not mistaken, I once saw a letter from the labavba in which he mentioned uh the fact that America celebrates thanksgiving and understands and appreciates the need to be aware of a higher power and of a divine creator who we are all accountable to. Generally the labava was a very um a very dedicated student of the idea that the United States was created by pilgrims who came here. Many of them came here because they wanted to be able to have freedom of religion, freedom to be able to serve God. And the foundation of the country was a dedication to God's principles in the Torah. And for the Reb, this meant that the soul of America was good. The soul of America had the values of Judaism, had the values of Torah. And he felt that the future of America must must hold these values dear in order to create new generations of children who are dedicated to freedom, to dignity, to human rights, to moral values, to the sanctity of family. And I think for him Thanksgiving was one representation of that. I think I saw a letter of his on this but I can't I can't remember offhand other other references. Perhaps there are I would have to research terms of the Reb personifying this. So the truth is growing up at the feet of the labba uh was really I would say an ongoing tutorial on this principle and not because the rebba was naive and in la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la land. He did not have an easy life. He grew up in Stalinis. He grew up in Tsarist Russia with pagrams. the Bolevik revolution follow following the first world war pers terrible persecutions for his parents his family much of his family was murdered and decimated in the Holocaust both from his wife's side and from his own side including his mother's mother's almost entire much of his mother's family his own brother sister-in-law brother-in-law the Rebe as you know never had children h did not have an easy life you know you would call an easy, successful, simply blessed life. His life came like so many Jews of that generation and the Reb was a very sensitive big heart. So he knew about the pain not just of his own life but of his brothers and sisters the world over. And Rab Sha, you remember how the Reb would often in his 80s cry sometimes like a child when he would speak about pain and exile and Msiah not here and what Jews went through and the Holocaust and other things. You saw that it broke his heart. Despite all of this, what I always saw from him was a choice to really celebrate life from within and not to focus on the negative, but to focus on the opportunities, on the blessings. And he had a deep resilience and faith and conviction that every moment has a goodness to it, even if we can't always comprehend why. and how don't focus on what's missing. Focus on your mission. I heard from Rabbi Laauo, the chief rabbi of Israel by Israel mayor Laauo. He said I heard from him that after the war he was by theb said what's happening in Israel. So he tells the Jews are saying what's going to be you know Jews what's going to be he said the rebba looked at me and said that's not a Jewish question. The Jewish question has to be what are we going to do? In other words, don't watch things happen. Make things happen. Don't observe and create history. Become an ambassador. Become an author of your biography. Go out and be proactive. Touch people. Change the world. Don't focus on, you know, what I don't have. Focus on the opportunity. why this happened, why that happened. Maybe you'll understand, maybe you'll never understand, but it's distracting you from the heartbeat, from the marching orders of the moment. And I remember, I'll just share with this, this was this was something that was very striking. I saw the letter. There was a fellow who concluded a safety to Torah. They wrote a Torah scroll in the community. He he wrote it with his wife and they did the conclusion ceremony in his home. A young woman fell in middle of the celebration. She went into cardiac arrest and she passed away. This man was devastated. He invited the whole community for the writing of a Torah scroll, the finishing of Torah scroll, and a woman dies in his house. He writes to the Reb, "What sin did I do? What did I do to deserve this? I was doing a mitzvah, and she dies in my house." He felt so guilty and horrible. The Reb wrote him a long long letter. I'm just taking out one paragraph or one sentence and he said as follows. The BMP says everything is with divine providence. You never know the real story. I want to ask you a question. We all know how meaningful a moment in a person's life is, but especially when they're about to die. When a person is about to pass away, everything is different. They see their whole life travel before their eyes and every millisecond is priceless. It's precious because they're saying goodbye. There's no stick, no fanfare, no drama, no lies, no superficialities. It's as real as it gets. Every soul has the time when it passes away. We don't know the story behind this woman's death, but this was the time that she had to die. She could have died alone in her home or walking in the street. And he wrote, "God planted the idea in your and your wife's mind to write a Torah scroll. You know why? So that you will finish it in your home. And when her journey on earth ends, she will be surrounded by people she loved, by friends, by community members, by relatives because she was part of the community. And her last hours on earth will be deeply spiritually gratifying as she's part of a mitzvah, part of writing a Torah, part of a community celebration. And as she fell and she returned her soul to its maker, she was surrounded by people she cherished and surrounded by the holiness of a Torah scroll. Maybe that's the reason God wanted you to write a Torah. I'm reading this letter and I'm like, whoa, how did you just spin this story? Could you tell me how did you spin the story? This guy says she died in my house in middle of my party. I'll never forgive myself. I'm guilty. Did I kill her? Maybe if she would have been home watching a soap opera, maybe she would have been healthy. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What? There's a little arrogance here. You're not so big to be so guilty. You know, you don't run the world, okay? You're not so arrogant to be guilty for everything. We love being guilty. Maybe it's the other way around. Maybe you had the merit. And then you know what he wrote at the end? He wrote, "And this may be one of the greatest merits in your life that you allowed her soul to leave her body with serenity and peace." The Reb didn't deny the tragedy. He wasn't saying that this is not a tragedy. What he was saying is we sometimes look at the little picture and we zoom in to the tree instead of seeing the forest and realizing of course it's a painful story. It's very painful story. But instead of feeling horrible about yourself, when you look at it from a higher and deeper perspective, you realize you had a mission and you helped this girl fulfill and finish her mission on the world with a certain sense of serenity. I think that's a classic example of how the labb really looked at life and how he tried to uh to uh to teach people to teach people to uh to look at life. Thank you very much. And I'll take this opportunity to Is there gonna be turkey for breakfast? If there is, can you zoom me some turkey? Can you zoom me some turkey? And I just want to add even if you dash, you also say just a few minutes later. So everybody says, not only the the also also the Ashkanazm, do you know anything about the Jews on the Mayflower? I don't know. I don't know about the Jews on the Mayflower. I never I never heard about that. I do know that I always appreciated Thanksgiving especially because I believe that in the winters after they arrived I think around 42 people died from a little more than 100 who arrived that's close to 50%. So when they were celebrating Thanksgiving, it wasn't just this dandy celebration that everything was good. You know, people are telling me how can I be thankful during the corona. And I'm saying the first Thanksgiving there was a lot of pain and a lot of anguish. A lot of people lost their lives and still they had a faith and a resilience that we who were chosen to live will live and we'll create new generations and we're going to remember forever those people. And look today, a few hundred years later, this was 1620. And today, a few hundred years later, America is we have our challenges, but America has become one of the greatest countries, if not the greatest country on earth after Israel, and has become a uh beacon of hope for the Jewish people and for so many other minorities. And it was infused always with that spirit of thanksgiving. So, I think it shows us the power of gratitude because their thank you was not set in a vacuum. It wasn't like they were, you know, sitting at the ocean in Palm Beach, beautiful sunny weather, and everything was perfect and impeccable. And I know that in Palm Beach, even by the ocean, not everything is perfect. They struggled, they cried, and they still had the ability to be able to thank God for the gifts that they had. Absolutely beautiful. Thank you. I want to wish you and your family. Thank you. Facebook page. Thank you so much. Good night everybody. Happy Thanksgiving. God bless you. God bless the United States of America. God bless Israel. God bless the Jewish people. and God bless all of humanity and the world. Amen.