Rabbi Kalman Flaks: Thank You Hashem...For Providing All My Needs

Heat. [music] Heat. [singing] [music] [singing] >> [music and singing] [music and singing] >> Okay, welcome everyone. Welcome all of Am to our favorite night of the week where we get to learn Tory and connect to together. And may our Torah be a protection for all of Am is a >> wherever they may be. Even if they're in freezing cold uh New York, may Hashem warm their hearts with. And for those of us who are lucky enough to be in your lucky so tonight we're going to learn about the of a very in enigmatic blessing. We're going to as we always do explore it and as we usually end up we're going to find out it's very deep and powerful and all about gratitude. So let's prepare connect our mind and our heart in these prep perm days by singing a little bit. Thank you. [singing and music] Thank you. Thank [singing] you. Thank you. Thank [singing] you. So for a larger part of my life, I've tried to practice this idea of praying before I do stuff. So before I do a sheir, I try when I remember to dab in. And usually I found that when I dab in for something, things work out better. Things flow better. Even for the small things says you should d for even the tiniest things. But I'm trying a new practice tonight. And hopefully by the end of the year, we'll understand why of thanking Hashem. You can thank Hashem with me. Thank you, Hashem, for an amazing shar. It's going to be so wonderful no matter what happens. Okay. So we have arrived at the again in our famous it's going through the order of the day. Last week we spoke about and now we finally put our hand our feet firmly on the ground. And now we are gonna get up. But before we can get up and start our day, we need to put up put on our shoes. At least most of us, right? Those of us who actually leave the house, those of us who aren't super hippies, put on shoes. And so the braha says we have a special braha to thank Hashem for shoes. Okay. And the way we say this is thank you Hashem. You're first of all blessing Hashem who made for me all of my needs. They gave me all my needs. So automatically we should have asked ourselves several questions when we examine this blessing in depth which is what we're doing. First of all, if they want to say thank you Hashem for making me shoes, what should have they said? Right. I remember there's a minion at the GR Gr is a pretty normal sh you know minion mini minion but there's one minion where there's a really funny holy guy and he before he gets up to the bra of shoes say thank you Hashem for adidas thank you hashem for reebs thank you hashem for Nike Imamish crocs everything goes through it and now that you guys were going in depth you understand what he was alluding to. We're thanking for a Arab family. >> No, no, no, no, no, no. We're not going to stay not no conspiracy theories. We're just going to stick with the Anyways, but I know you're just speaking in just so is about shoes. But if the rabbis want to tell us, thank you for shoes. Let them get to the point. Why are they talking about all of these and did for me all of my needs? It seems a bit weird that they would [snorts] they would phrase it in such a not direct indirect way, right? It's a good question. Yeah. Anybody ever think about that question before? You don't have to raise your hands. That's okay. But we should have asked that question. Doesn't seem like it's talking about shoes, but the Gmorrah says it's talking about shoes. And why? Here's the second question. Why do we need a special braha about shoes? We have a braha for um our shirt. We have a braha for our I don't know for our titus is bad. We do have for okay well belt kind of we do cuz those as we'll learn about does have a belt but we don't have a bra for our jacket. What about those? Maybe that should get a bra. I mean it's really cold and then it's so nice. You know the thing that connects. What about the the hat? Okay. I guess hat's a bad example. does have a brah. But the point is not every not every clothing article does get a braha. Why does some get a braha? Why do others not get a braha? What's the deeper meaning behind that? You with me? Okay. Question number three. Why exactly um do we say this who did for me all my needs? All the other we don't say you know that I can stretch he didn't we don't get personal about it suddenly when it comes to when talking about my shoes we get all personal right but everything else we're general what's the asked that question I think it's a good question yeah one more question again a technical question is past tense that he did for me, he made for me my shoes. But where the other it's all in the present tense, suddenly when it comes to shoes, we're talking about the past tense. Okay? So, we're going to try to answer all these questions and more much more because we're going to hopefully end up with a much more powerful kavana very very relevant for all of our lives in this which we may have just ran through. Okay, so let's just get start off with the technical answer. Why do we start in the past tense that he did for me did all my needs? So the nephesh suggests something very interesting. He says because when it comes to shoes, you can't say aba when you're putting on your shoes. >> Why can't you say? Because you're impure, right? You touch the shoe. So you can't say God's name. So you have to wait a little bit, wash yourself off, and then by the time you wash yourself off, it's already in the past. What a game to opening up your eyes, you could say. But shoes by definition, you can't say in the present tense. So we only say it in the past tense. Okay. Very nice. It is interesting that in the gears of the Rambam he changed it in in the in the present tense not but according to our it's past tense. So that's the explanation of the very uh very creative but I want to get more to the the thick of it. Let's to the essence of the question of why do we use this language of who made for me all my needs when we're talking about shoes. So the first uh we're going to bring in is David Abu Jaham. If you haven't noticed, he's really the starting point. He wrote this beautiful parish anilah. He's one of the only that I know about at least that is mainly known for his safair. You have a lot of rabbis who have bigar on like the schlah has a muser and also has a book on but his main thing abuan was uh and he's a 14th century Spanish rabbi one of the students of the rush actually we might not know much about him if not for the who writes about him in his safer we don't know too much about him but we know him through his Torah and Abu Dhabgest the following. He says, we'll read it inside. It's always more powerful when we do it that way. As long as you're um shoeless, you can't go out to the world. Okay? You're not going to be able to change the world. Once you go have your shoes on, then you're complete. Then you're ready. Then you're totally plugged in and now you can change the world. So he's saying it's a double answer. In other words, we are thanking Hashem for shoes. But it's the the implication of shoes. Now that I have shoes, I can change the world. It's not about the shoe. It's about the symbolism of a shoe. Meaning I can go out to the world and change the world. Aw, what if a person is not going to leave his house that day? What if a person's feeling sick and he's not going to wear shoes that day? He's not going to change the world. Well, now there's like, you know, other ways to change the world. Computers and phones. But the the again it goes back to the same answer we've given many times. According to the Rambam, you would not say because it's a personal gratitude. But according to everyone else, we're generally thanking the world for everyone else who has shoes. So if you're a hippie and you just don't believe in shoes, I I once met a guy named Pete and he he lived in spot and he never wore shoes. He didn't believe in shoes. He wanted to connect to the ground. Beautiful. But uh he would say a braha not according to the Rambam but according to us. Okay, you get the first answer. Okay, there will be a test at the end. It's thanking Hashem for shoes but shoes allows me to go out to the world and change the world. Now I have all my needs. It's really thanking Hashem for everything. all the other blessings and how I can go change the world. Beautiful. Okay. Second answer is very interesting from the Helga Maharal and he goes into a little bit of a tangent about shoes. He has a very interesting insight. I was surprised. Let's see if you'll be surprised by his thought. Of course, the Maharal Prague Rav low Moreno Hagon Rav low. That's what Maharal stands for. He was uh a a great rabbi in Prague and uh in the 16th century. Also has a great pierce on Rashi called gur. And the Mar writes alush a shoe is not an honorable garment. Interesting. They're not really respect. They're a lower tier garment. Because for in holy places you're not allowed to wear shoes. What's he referring to? What holy places do we not wear shoes >> right? Ask the'll tell you no shoes up there plus take off take off your shoes from your feet. also by Yahushua. He's told to take off his shoes because this is a holy place. So he's alluding to the fact that really Pete was right in a certain ex extent the hippies are on to something. Really it's better to be shoeless, right? There's certain cultures, right? You go into the house, no shoes, right? Maybe they're tapped into this. So, why do we wear shoes? You know, because there's all those rocks out there and those needles and all those scary things in the big wide world. So, you need to wear shoes and it's cold and snowy and crazy places like New York and Europe. So, you need shoes, but it's not a something I want to wear. It's something I have to wear. It's a that's what the maral says. That's why we don't have a it's not included in the of those are honorable garments. We wear it even if I'm not hot or cold. I wear it out of respect like we spoke about a few weeks ago that the malbus this week's para aron wears the holy garments right why do you wear a costume on pim not because you need to wear a costume it you know uplifts you and makes you on a higher level when you wear your holy you know holy perm costume wearing the makes them on a higher level but shoes the moral does not think in fact there's a discussion whether you need shabas shoes you have to have special shabas shoes. No, said why not? It doesn't hurt because there those who are strict. But there are those rabbis who say no, you don't have to have special shabas shoes. The shoes are not considered on the same level of a garment as the rest of your garments. They're a they're not a uh a higher level of a malush says. Okay. In other words, in a deeper concept, I think what he's trying to say is we're thanking Hashem for the things that we need and we're also thanking Hashem for the things we don't really need, but they're extra. Right? So, the regular is thanking for the extra pleasures that we have. Like, I get it. I have a nice sweater and I have all these other pleasures of things that I don't really need. But of the shoes symbolizes all the base needs that I have. And thank you Hashem for that also for the things that are giving that just allowing me to function in the world. Okay. So that's let's say as another level another layer of of of meaning of this shoes and all things we need right like I don't know cell phones like like WhatsApp. WhatsApp would be a great example of something nobody really wants but what are you going to do? You need it. You can't you can't survive in the I mean some people survive without it. They're very blessed. But unfortunately for all a lot of us in the working man's world, it's very hard to survive without WhatsApp. So you can have when you say shoes, I don't really want to have WhatsApp. I want to disconnect and just, you know, learn to all day. What can I do? You know, it's we have we have to put food on the table and be connected to my shabas meals, whatever it is. So you can have in mind WhatsApp if you want or don't. It's fine either way. Okay. Third, you ready? Yah. Shot number three is very interesting on a shoe level, on a connected level. The B someone we like quoting in our shareim the dine very creative, brilliant rabbi. And the dine says like this actually quotes the iner. He gives a cabalistic idea. shoes are so we do not touch the floor, right? The floor is lava. We don't want to touch the floor. Why? Because the earth got cursed when we sinned. So, we don't want to be connected to the earth. Maybe that's also why I don't I'm not I don't know if this is true, but maybe I think is an idea cabalistically. We're not sitting on the floor. Same idea perhaps. I don't know. So we want to make a separation between the floor and the earth. The floor and my body. Sorry. In other words, according to the Pete's wrong, we don't want to touch directly the floor. That's not ideal. Ideal is to have a disconnect. The earth is cursed. Okay. So, the hippies aren't going to like this this one. Okay. So, beware who you share this Torah with. Okay. But if it's a holy place or then it's no longer cursed. So, what is a holy place? For example, ori. Fine. So, there you can put your feet on the ground. But ideally we don't want to touch the ground. Okay. Now we understand why it's so important to have shoes. In fact the in says a person should always sell everything he's got to get shoes. Okay. Make sure you get yourself a good pair of Nikes, right? That's what the Gomorrah says. No, not Lav Davka, but whatever. Whatever shoes, it's all good. Okay, that's what the Gomorrah says because stop us from being connected to the ground and the ground is cursed. And that's why it's because there's no greater need than to have shoes. You following me with me? So there's a mahogus going at. Let's review. So far we have three answers to our amazing question. Question number one, we asked why are shoes referred to as all my needs. Right? Answer number one, we gave the answer of the Abu Draham that once I put on my shoes, now I'm ready to go out into the world to interact with the world and change the world. So his shoes is really a symbolic way of saying now I can go change the world. So is he in the pro shoe or the anti-shoe camp? He's in the pro shoe camp. He likes shoes. Okay. Then we had the Maharal who is in the anti-shoe camp, right? He's with the hippies. Says we wish we didn't have to have shoes. Not exactly anti but the ideal is to not have shoes. That's why and Yeshua and the Bas don't have shoes. But what can you do? We live in a bidd world where we need to protect ourselves from rocks and all these interesting things >> and Legos, right? Especially around my house. So with the kinder, you need to have the shoes. So that's our it's a need. We wish we could all be hippies, but what can you do? Okay. And we're thanking for all the needs we have even though we don't really want it. And answer number three is who says really the highest is to have shoes. [cough] [clears throat] Is that what he says? No, no, no. I'm just see I was keeping you guys sharp. He says really what is it? >> Yeah. >> Really? the the ground is cursed and so we don't want to touch the ground because it's cursed and so shoes are good because they separate us from that that disconnection. Okay. By the way, just what's the one day of the year when we all don't wear real shoes >> and that's a sad day. So that would seem to imply again that it's like an doesn't wear shoes also is also a good ah so maybe we have both answers on the one hand we have the time when shoes uh when we we don't want shoes uh because when when not having shoes represents sadness that's tisha but on the other hand we have yum kipper we're not having shoes indicates we're on a higher level like angels wow beautiful look at coming down to Israel. Yeah. >> The sadness uh because I was thinking about um someone in a veil in a Shiva house doesn't wear shoes. >> Exactly. It's a sign of a veilis. So on that level it would seem to be that not wearing shoes again there could be many other explanations. You could say we're just it's a sign of morning but it's a way of reconnecting to your earthiness to your to yourself. You could give many explanations but perhaps it's a it's a sign of morning to not have shoes. It's not a positive thing. >> I thought I could be wrong. I thought it was a mar. Maybe it's something else. The idea of wearing shoes is like by taking them off you make yourself vulnerable. Mhm. >> And so like you know the whole thing with the uh >> iboom and khalita >> and the snake and >> there's some >> aspect of vulnerability which sometimes is a good thing >> can avail us perhaps feel >> right >> vulnerable. >> So it's not necessarily good or bad. It's not a it's it's it's a way of showing our vulnerability and we may see a little one of the sources kind of alludes to that which in different contexts can have different aspects whether it's positive or negative y beautiful okay a few more suggestions and then I want to move us towards the main event another beautiful answer is given by the hurra the vil non and the gur says like this He gives a totally different mahala, a different way of looking at it. We know like we mentioned that a real shoe is a leather shoe, right? That's why you're not allowed to wear shoes, but you can wear Crocs according to most opinions because they're not made of leather. A real shoe is one made of animal skin. Why? What does it matter? Why dava animal skin says like this because I want to read it inside with you guys one second. The foundation of this blessing is the verse in goes like this. Mankind, you're a little bit less than God. You're crowned with glory and majesty. You give him dominion over the work of your hand. You have placed everything beneath his feet. Mankind is at the pinnacle of creation. We are the highest creatures in the universe. Says this indicates that God gives mankind reign. Conquer the world. Like Salvich talks about in his beautiful article in talking describing man as someone who has to subdue creation. God wants us to subdue creation and do what you want. You can even take an animal and it you can even take the the skin of the animal and use it to make shoes for your feet. Again, doesn't mean we can mistreat the animals, but you're allowed to to to to use them. And that's what it symbolizes when we're wearing shoes that I reign over um creation. Then that's what we're symbol when we're we're walking over the world. We're symbolizing that we reign over the world that God has given me all my needs that he's taken from all of creation just to help me. And that's a big responsibility. With great power comes great responsibility, right? So if I am reigning all over the universe, then I better use my special of the nama within me to make the world a holy place to connect all of creation to a right. The garra comments who's allowed to eat meat only allowed to eat meat. So not you can ask your local Orthodox POK about that. But the idea is that only if you're invested in Torah and you're elevating creation, right? That's perhaps why there's a bigger idea to have meat on Shabas than during the week because it's easier to elevate the holy sparks, right? when I'm using the the cow to you know to to wrap fill in and and I'm using my snails to wearas right and I'm using my shoes my my to to wear my feet to do mitzvah to run to to run to learn then I'm elevating creation if I'm not if I then then what right did I have to kill that animal right that's perhaps the explanation right we are granted the right to use creation of Of course, not again, not to mistreat it, not to go overboard, but we are granted the right to use creation to make the world a better place. And we need to remember that. And that's what the GR is reminding this us of says the schlaw of Harwoods the great who moved to the old city there's four levels of creation rocks sand things that don't have life but plants which have some degree of a living entity right some maybe they can communicate with one another in some low way read cohen's book he has a lot of cool things about when you talk to the plants they grow better all sorts of cool stuff like that the animals right there different levels of animals right monkeys elephants their okay but animals and then finally you guys we use all of creations when I take an or to use it I show that I reign over the world and I thank Hashem with that for that opportunity every morning and I also take upon myself a commitment to use these shoes that I'm wearing to make the world a better place. Maybe that's why nowadays so many people don't wear leather. They wear the Crocs because they're a little scared, you know, to take that responsibility upon themselves. But don't be scared, guys. We can do it. God gave us everything we need to elevate all of creation. All right. So, that's answer I think we're holding number four. four-5 of the gur and the schlah working together to make the world a better place. Now I'm going to give you my favorite answer my favorite kavana for this and we'll read it in the words of kuger in his safer. Um, you know what? Before I give my favorite answer, I do have to give one more kind of technical answer. There's a lot of cabalistic answers. I'm not going so deep into the cabalistic world, but there's a lot of cabalistic answers. I read it in Kabad's farm. I read it in different talk about the shoe as a symbol for the body. Just like the shoe covers over the foot, so to the body covers over the soul. And we see this with khalita and a lot of illusions here. So the point on a very simple level is we're thanking Hashem for the body which covers over the soul. It's a beautiful way of edit and now we're exiting all the but we're kind of summarizing everything and saying thank you Hashem for all of these external encasements. So which will help me to ultimately um you know go out and elevate my this the soul within me. Okay. Okay. So that's another beautiful explanation that are I've seen in a lot of different cababalistic works says one more explanation with this blessing every single day we fulfill the A person is obligated not it's okay not if he wants he's obligated to bless God for the evil things that happen for the bad things that happen the seemingly bad things that happen just like you bless Hashem for the good things that happen how can a person say that God has given me all my needs called we all have had days when you go to bed and you feel like I didn't get what I what I need right but as the great uh what's his name the Rolling Stones say you can't always get what you want but if you try sometimes you might find you get what you need so the garra we're editing that it's not if you try sometimes you might find you always get what you need. Okay. Gears 2 of MC Jagger. You always get what you need. You do have to try, but you always get what you need. Okay. All my needs, everything that happens is exactly what I need. There are days when I go to bed and I feel so sad. No, seriously, there are days. Why I don't Where's my spouse? Why did I lose that job? Why can't I get why does he get all the co Why does he get to be the why does I don't know whatever we're all suffering from? Why am I in pain for all of our things? They're evil. How could I bless God for these hard things? But we start off every day even before we've experienced these sufferings and we say God I thank you Hashem for the evil in the same way that I that I thank Hashem for the good but why why are we thanking Hashem for the evil isn't it bad what do we what are we thanking him for so says We have to we recognize that these afflictions are for our good. They purify us. They cleanse us of our sins. And one day we'll look back and say, "Thank you so much that God got rid of the with this pain in this world and not in the next world." And they bring me to the next world. And is someone who's always going, he's walking. That's our goal in life to be growing and growing and growing. Now we understand why by shoes we specifically say, "Thank you, Hashem, for giving me all my needs." The shoes allow us to go. If you wouldn't just stay at home all day, you wouldn't need shoes. So in the same way we need afflictions and these afflictions that we're all experiencing in life are there to help us grow to help us go. So yes, we're thanking Hashem for the shoes, but shoes is really a mush for uh the afflictions, the hard things that are happening to us. And even though they didn't even happen yet, we're already saying thank you Hashem. Thank you, Hashem, for everything that is going to happen to us. Such a beautiful explanation of Ravluger. And I want to just like jump kind of just color this maybe a little different way of seeing although what he said is perfect that why why we say thank you to Hashem for the for the bad things. You know, when when something good happens, it's very we kind of all get it that like God does something good, you should be appreciative, right? And then when you say thank you, he wants to give you more. That makes sense. Like someone does us something nice. We feel nice about that and we want to do it again, right? You guys come come Rabbi Raostin makes us a beautiful dinner. We go, "Thank you, Rabbi. It was amazing salad, amazing dressing. He's going to want to come back next week and make double, right? Because you appreciated him." If nobody says thank you, he's going to maybe he'll do it because he's the but he may not want to. So in the same way, we need to say thank you to Hashem for the good things. But say thank you to Hashem for the hard things. You know, when I've given this concept over before, people say it's disingenuous. It doesn't make sense to pray that the hard things go away that I get. Please Hashem, let me find my my soulmate. Let me find Shaas. Let my kid go on the D. That makes sense. say, "Thank you, Hashem, that my kids off the D. Thank you, Hashem, that me and my wife are having a fight, an argument." How does that how is that real? How is that authentic? It's a legitimate question. People have asked me this. I've asked myself this. How does that make sense? Are we thanking Hashem for the hard things, but again, it comes down to the question often talks about this of imuna versus yad. We have we are here in the world for a reason and the world is here to grow. If our if we recognize that our purpose in life is to grow, then we'll suddenly realize that all of those challenges that I'm going through as painful as they are, they're not there just me to get rid of them so I can get to the good stuff. Or maybe they're not only just there just to purify me. Certainly that might be some aspect. It's a punishment that might but maybe a more healthy perspective to say, "Wait a second. If this pain is what I'm experiencing, maybe there's a lesson here. Maybe there's something a message I'm supposed to take from this. Maybe I can grow from this experience." And when you're being grateful even before it happened, I'm changing my frame of mind. Right now I already have recognized that whatever is going to happen is from Hashem. So now instead of you know going from this bitterness and I'm a victim and I'm angry and this and all that and the whole balagon right and how come this and that which we all have gone through. You just skip that. I mean I don't know if you could completely skip it but you skip through with gratitude and you say what does Hashem want me to learn from this that's the question we should be asking not why me but what am I supposed to grow from this so the gratitude creates a cle a vessel for us to now become on a higher consciousness and that higher consciousness vessel that we create for ourselves now allows ows the blessing to flow into our lives. There's a lot of stories where of Arouch who writes a lot about this in his farm. You'd have these guys who were you know saying Rabbi I'm ding I'm ding I'm dinging for years to get I don't know to get my daughter married. He says great Hashem already heard your prayer. He says okay so then how come you know? So he says because you're not thanking Hashem. He said but they but we are thanking Hashem. No but you're not a parrot can also say thank you. Thank you. Thank you. you're not really thanking Hashem. So they would go and they would make a kdish and say thank you Hashem for all the things and mameish try to get themselves to a place of really thanking Hashem and gavat soon afterwards the the braha would flow down because they're taking a muna and that's transforming their yady and that's creating the vessel and a very famous story of uh rav in he had children 32 years old 31 years old hadn't hadn't been married and all the rest of his daughters were married and he didn't understand what's going on and then he realized oh I never made a kdish for my daughters when they were married he made a kdish 32 years later right better late than ever two months later they both engaged he created the the clea for the bra to come down by changing his mindset and the amazing thing is even if the braha doesn't come down in the way in which we would like it to come down. It doesn't matter because now I've completely transformed the way I think about the li the world from and now I can accept whatever is happening is a challenge from Hashem and the only question is how do I make this situation how do I use the situation I'm in to make the world a better place? Yeah. >> My wife, I don't know where she got it from, but instead of being a victim and saying why is it happening to me, you say why is it happening for me? >> Oh, beautiful. >> Yeah. >> And you know a few more quotes and and and and stories just illustrate this. The show says when we thank Hashem for all the good that we receive, it's considered that we brought a corbanto. And what a corbanto when we da are going through a hard time. Of course we should always be thanking Hashem but when we're going through a hard time what a corbanto consequently we and the world at large will receive more kindnesses. Alish writes all of our existence in this world is for one reason to thank Hashem and it's based on a midrash that the whole world is here just to thank Hashem. And when we transform ourselves to realize that wait whatever I'm experiencing that's just a way for me to get to this gratitude consciousness. So that changes everything and I'm able to deal I wouldn't say I'd look forward to challenges but in a little bit a part of me is almost like you know I'm almost like ready to pounce on that bad experience and say a and say thank you Hashem because I know it's triple points you know to say thank you Hashem on when things are good is five points but to say thank you Hashem when things are bad boom boom boom I go to the highest levels in the heavenly tribunal this shabas I was thinking about these concepts um and I was listening to shears And the reason main reason I've told you guys this many times the main reason I I like to teach and give these sharim is so then I could think about it all week long and listen to sharim about it and and so I was listening to a about which means like tranquility and whatever happens it's from Hashem >> that's not but like uh whatever happens it's all from Hashem. I was listening to a story about the Ram how the holy Ram was going to write a safer worked so many years on writing a safer on and then he found out that the already did the work for him. So instead of being a victim and angry, he said, "Okay." So I'll I'll just do a gloss to the I'll join the team. If you can't beat him, join him, you know, and so so I was thinking about that and um and all their things. And I I was going to the hotel and I make a minion once in a while. Me and a friend, we make a joyous singing minion at the hotel. Only thing is I was late. Okay, it's supposed to be an 8:00 minion and uh my kids were acting up and my wife needed help and I had to decide and I hope I made the right decision that in this case family came first and I had to help and I ended up not only I was taking my Alicia, my three-year-old crazy guy to the hotel with me which meant that it was a very little chance of me leading a minion but uh I had to go to the hotel anyway to at least tell my friend >> [snorts] >> uh who I make the minion with that uh we're going to we're going to join into a minion. Okay. And thus it was exactly I get there at 8:30 and he said ah I was waiting for you for 29 minutes but I just gave away theender to some okay we'll dab in together. We'll dab in together. So we did and then I get up to Musf and then my friend Moshe says ah you know what it was a little bit of a dry doing. Get up there be the ball Must you know I'll take Alicia for you for Musf Mus's quick. So I was like, "Okay, good. Maybe this is what Hashem wants for me." So I get up there. I'm going to, you know, at least give a couple of niggun and we already had a big crowd at the Kel and then a guy I start saying. And then somebody says yard sight and basically he had yard sight and yard sight versus you know yard sight wins. So I said, "Okay, okay, Hashem, I get it. I guess I'm not meant to be the bal Musf." So I wasn't. And it was a little bit, I'm not going to lie, it wasn't really the most uh ha. It was no no singing still at the kotel. No complaints. But uh okay. But the thing is I already I was I already had all my kittish. So I said, "Okay, we'll still make a kdish. Even if we didn't make a minion, we'll make a kdish." So I invited everybody to the kdish. So come with me and we made a kittish. And it ended up being one of the most phenomenal kittishes. Usually we can squeeze out 20 minutes before everyone runs away. We had an hour kittish with all sorts of people coming in and out and everyone sharing de Torah and real camaraderie, real friendship. Maybe the best kittish I had the whole year. And I thought maybe that was what Hashem needed me to do today, right? And I had extra time because I wasn't running the minion to set up the kdish nicely and and and attract people. Maybe that was what Hashem needed. I don't know. But maybe we would have anyway had a nice kdish. I don't know. Maybe he just needed me to some sins. I really don't know. But what I know is is one thing for sure. If you're grateful and you come in that whatever happens you're grateful and whatever is going to be happen I'm grateful. Then the experience is a is a completely different type of experience right now not but at the same time we're not we're not superhuman okay we all have emotions and we have to pray. There's a concept called according to this by the way Vinatan says something amazing. He says it could be we really don't have to dab in. >> We could just thank Hashem all day for everything and all the blessings will come and maybe we don't even have to dab in because gratitude is the purpose of creation and gratitude is the highest level says Aman. The world is created for us to be in the state of gratitude. So maybe we don't even need to dab in. But I think we need both. Hashem wants us at times he wants us to be real. There's something called and there's something called and we have to live in both worlds. That's what I think. We have to when we're in the world of we have to be sincere. It's Hashem. I'm yearning for this. I want this. I wish that. And put it all out on the table and be vulnerable. And God wants the heart. Look at in the look in she's not thanking Hashem at the Mishkan. She's crying. She was very very bitter. So there is a place. [snorts] I don't know if this despite what Raar says. I don't know if he agrees with me. I don't know. But I think there is a place for crying in Judaism. >> You have to be real. Sometimes we're down and sometimes we need to cry and that's legitimate and Hashem wants that. But then after we cry, we gave a good cry, >> then we have to thank Hashem. In fact, now that I'm thinking about it specifically says this. He says you should every day cry. Every day a real cries. But what's the ratio? So let's look at hollow. I think I've mentioned this before. How many times do we say and how many times do we say? So if you do the math, Rabbi Gladstein brings us down from six to four. That's the proper ratio. four and six of so 40% we have a time in our life in those moments we we need to cry we also have by the way times in our life when we need to do right sometimes those hard experiences is hashem telling you do something about it push you know you didn't get that job make a new resume right the girl said no maybe do someh ask why you know why am I showing up with my shirt half tucked in half tucked out I don't know what whatever it is I have to also do my practical but the majority of my life 60% thank you thank you thank you Hashem that's that's the balance that we all have to be yearning for and in PM time the is thank Right? Because what's the goal of PM? What's the mitzvah that everybody of course is all we're all thinking about and looking forward to on, right? Which has nothing to do with alcohol drinking, although sometimes it helps a little bit. But the goal says is as we've suggested many times to get to a place of realizing that even the armons in our life even the even the challenging parts of my life it's really it's really it's really a thank you. But all of that happens when we shift our consciousness. And again, it's it's easy to give this year. It's easy to say, but it's an avoida, a non-stop avoid. It's a constant avoid, right? of of of because it's not about saying the words thank you. It's about meaning it and feeling it from this amuna perspective. That's why you probably have heard me give the shir in different formats many different times because we need the all the time. Hashem's given us so many now there's so many miracle stories there's great books like thank you Hashem see miracles by aros and David Ashir has wonderful books on this and there's a book I'm reading now 24/7 which is how all sorts of miracle stories that I could tell you now about the the power of gratitude because it's not something you read once and you got it that you need to constantly remind one [snorts] ourselves of and practice put into practice by talking to Hashem by being doing being in a state of bod by verbalizing our gratitude and and internalizing and working on ourselves and reminding ourselves of the principles of which starts again based there is a god he loves me there's and he gave me everything I need I forgot to get back me personally everything I need cold what does it have to do with shoes I was thinking that shoes more than other clothing artic art articles if you have the wrong size >> it it doesn't work right I'm a 43 it doesn't go with a 40 for a sweater and XL and a large what's the difference right but for a shoe you got it's exact so Hashem is precise he gave me exactly what I need right I was thinking about this on my own in my own life you know gonna be real with you guys I was thinking about this today and I was talking with my kusa who I did the tour guide course and I've helped him my good friend and uh we I' been helping him with and and and I've been we've been good friends for a long time and I realized that if I just would have gotten that rabbi gig that I was looking for when I was 22 just to be a sha and that's it I never would have became a tour guide and I never would have met my friend and my whole trajectory of my life would have been so different I would never would have met so many thousands of people that I've met and see even if a part of me is still fighting and I'm still wants to just be that sha ali with that cool job or that but I have on an amuna level I have to believe everything that God gave me is exactly what I need all of my challenges all of my kaleim all of my talents all the good relation all the bad relationships that's why I'm in the in the world not for what I want but what I what I have I still have to make bashadas to get what I But again, you can't always get what you want. You get what you need and what you have in front of you is what you need. Right? You did your estadas. Now accept it and and make the best out of whatever the situation is by saying first of all by saying thank you by truly truly thanking Hashem and and and and creating that vessel for more blessing to flow through into our lives. That's and of course we have to be aware of what what we are what we have in order to bring that blessing to our lives right I was reading recently about happiness talks about what makes a person happy and he says fulfilling our potential that's what makes you really happy when you feel like you're living a life of fulfilling your potential but then someone asked him asked him okay but how do I know what my potential How do I know if I'm supposed to be a firefighter or a mechan? And it's a it's a deep question. You have to get to know yourself. You have to know your talents. You have to know what you're good at. You have to know what you're what you enjoy. You have to know what you don't enjoy. You have to get to know yourself in order to be able to really actualize your potential and be in the state of and part of that act of getting to know ourselves is thank thanking Hashem for what I have. So then I'm meeting it. I'm meeting the reality of what I have and I'm talking about it and I'm processing it and I'm able to grow from the experience. But if as soon as the bad thing I I didn't I didn't get the job that I really really wanted, I run away from it and I say, "Oh, that boss, he had it in for me." Or, "Oh, that guy spoke lush and horror." Oh, or, oh, it was my fault and I did this or that. And I start blaming myself for things that I couldn't control. Right? So then I'm skipping the whole point, which is I'm supposed to learn from the experience. Supposed to ask myself, what am I supposed to learn from this experience? How can I learn from this experience? How can I make it the best situation? How can I grow? Okay, but all that really steps, step one to get to that self-nowledge is thank you, Hashem. And then my mind switches from this angry victim to this, okay, what can I learn and thank you and okay, let's not be bitter anymore. And I accept it. whatever it was, it was great, but how can I, you know, learn from the the experience and and and forget about all that bitterness stuff, which doesn't really help us. One last point, um, and then we'll sing a quick song with all this stuff about everything that happens is exactly what I need. All of that is only for me, points out Roshwab. When it comes to other people, forget about all that. Okay? And when someone something bad is happening to someone else, we're not going to be like, "Oh, you dropped your milk, okay, on the street, you dropped your bag. That was what you needed." You know, I guess I guess that was what you needed. Okay, enjoy it. Thank that that No, that's not the way we're supposed to function. We're supposed to help them and say, "Oh, no. I need to help them. I'm here. I experienced this to help them. What he needs, I don't know what he needs me to help them. I need to do everything possible to make him happy. That's how we our relationship with other people. But with ourselves, then we ask ourselves, what can I learn from this experience? How can I make it the best situation? Of course, what what do I need to do? But we start off saying, thank you, Hashem. And then take it from there. foreign [singing] lash. for [singing] my boy again. >> [music] >> This time when we sing it, think of something challenging in our life and have to be mak it to be mic to sweeten the judgments. When we say one more time, [singing and music] I am [singing] [music] Lord. [singing] >> [singing] [singing] >> N [singing] and then N [singing] thank you. Hey N. Thank you. Hey my mind. Thank you. Hey. Thank you. [singing] I I am on my mind. Thank you. Thank you. Thank [singing] you. Thank [music] you. [music and singing] Heat. Heat. [singing] [music] >> [singing] [music] >> Oh [singing] my My God.