PART 1 Thank You Hashem with Rabbi Kalman Flaks

[Music] You see your tomorrow [Music] my [Music] Thank you. Let me know when we're on. We're on already. All right, we're on. Amazing. Okay. So what a beautiful day to be together to be learning Torah for the sake of the whole Jewish people all of our Torah to protect all of Israel. What a day to say thank you Hashem. There are those who are saying halal those who are skipping. It's probably even higher than saying skip but everyone in their own individual way is so thankful for the miracles that we've been witnessing on a national level. And uh and we should all witness miracles on a personal level. And with that intro, we're going to learn about the mod today. It's all about gratitude. That's the vibe of today. And I think we're going to do this in two parts. Uh but we'll see how it vibes and how it flows. Um and thanks for everyone again making it. And some people even sponsored. So saying thank you for Ivanet for making this happen. about the so here what we're going to do is we're going to start with the historical background of Moda ani to understand like where it came from and then we're going to jump into a little bit of the deeper meaning behind Moda ani and then we're going to get into the every single word and try to unravel the the mystery and the magic behind every single word of the plan guys down with that sounds good okay so where did mod ani come from it's like seems like it's just been there forever I mean it's in the sitter but Really? It wasn't it wasn't always there. Who invented the modi? Anybody know is it I don't believe it. Doesn't believe it. First time it's written first time. Okay. For all we know it goes back to maybe it goes back to I don't know. But the first time which the modi is published is in 1599 from the safer seday okay written by a cabalist a great rabbi named Moshe Mak Moshe Mah a student of the Arizal who studied invat and then started his own yeshiva a little very close to and he was a roshiva there and he is the one who would let's say attribute it to him who writes in his safer sed that when you wake up in the morning a Jew should say these 12 words of okay got that now by the way this this yeshiva is very unique they always had someone learning Torah they had shifts cuz they believe that if there's any moment in which Torah is not being learned so you know the whole world could implode. It could be like you know photo it's all just going to explode. So Gina he had shifts he wasn't the only Shiva like that but that was that was his vibe tour is so important and um there's actually three really interesting insights that we should know from the seday by you can go visit Rosha Mahir's uh cave with a spring flowing out of it. It's pretty cool in the spot area and Mosha Mat changed all of our lives because in a lot of our homes or shs you're going to see the Asher yatser poster and on the the colorful Asher yatser poster it says that there's a school that if you say asher yatzer with kavana you won't need to go to a doctor because hashem will be your doctor. Who thought of that crazy idea that if you say Hashem will protect you and you won't have to go to the doctor he brings it down in the Okay. So it's changed all of our lives that we could be protected and well I guess we'll talk more about that when we talk about but we're focusing on Modi. Another amazing insight of Mosha Maki, he writes in that when the safer Torah comes out, it's a reenactment of the harsh experience. Okay, that's why we got to go out and greet it with awe and reverence and joy when the Torah is coming out of the ark. And just the same way that when we got the Torah, everyone was healed, right? The midra says that the blind people could see suddenly, etc., etc. So to all the and the shea comes down to our lives during this the moments are very precious moments that we should you know says open up our vessels to receive the bra of the week which comes down when the safer Torah is uh being brought out. Isn't that cool? By the way um this we this shabas we had exactly 10 guys in my in my base in the army base. So it made me feel special that you know I was the 10th guy. I mean everybody was the 10th guy but I felt like I was the tenth guy. Um and nobody thought there was a chance in heck that we get a minion for Shabas morning. Friday night usually can a few people and you know get them to say and that we got a we made it happen. Shabas day he was going to wake up after everyone's doing shifts 2 to 6. So we didn't really think there was a chance but I'll come just in case. You never know. We we got a minion. We got a cria in the army. We even got kdish the most important part of course. We even when the when the maf left the head mufed and we brought a little we got some beer and it was it was mash kishma. So even in the middle of janine and wherever we are there's and we brought out the Torah and got the soak says that when the Torah is being brought out then we're getting the brah of the week. And the third that has revolutionized all of our lives is of course the modi mosh tells us that when a Jew wakes up the first thing he has to do is say modi. By the way if you forgot forget sometimes if if you forget to say modani. So you can do it right now. You can do it at any time. Okay? Or if just like you're zoned out of life, you want to just wake up your nama. You could always just say modi here. Let's practice. You guys ready? On three, we'll say modani together. Three, two, one. Oh, give out. You can always say it. It never hurts to wake yourself up and just bring a little extra consciousness into our lives. Yeah. Okay. Beautiful. So, that's where it came from. That's crazy. I'm usually not a tea guy, but I saw the chamomile and I was like, maybe I should make myself a tea. I thought that thought went into my head and then Shalom since all namas are connected, he just mish he knew. He knew. Good. Anyways, um so that's when it was at 1599 and it's printed. It's now how did it make its way to us? How did that happen? The truth is we don't know exactly. Interestingly, recently we found a cabalistic safer in Yemen in 1666 where it's brought down that in the Yemenite community everyone was saying the Modi. So already by then it was spreading. There were other communities where it wasn't as popular of Jacob Emden writes that some people say the moi and this is in the 18th century in Germany. So apparently it depended on your community and maybe more cabalistic were saying it truth is we don't really know but once this the it's being more books are being published and works like the etc are being uh published and taught to the world later. So apparently modani becomes more and more popularized and it becomes a standard part of uh Jewish practice in every good Jewish home. Yeah. Until now there's even many many songs written about. go on YouTube find 10 different Israeli songs about so if in case you didn't believe me it's written in the right writes it's good to say immediately when you wake up that the niggan that you guys grew up with that was the one my mom taught me and make sure is best not stop Not stop. We'll get to why that's important soon because has significance in of itself. Okay. And um good. So Mr. says it's a good thing to do. If you didn't say I'll be honest, you're still a good Jew. You didn't violate any practice. But by saying, we're living our lives the way a Jew is supposed to live their lives. tapping into our shama in the highest way. Adan, we're good. Okay, a little bit of history and now we understand some background. Now, truth is there was a modi before the modi meaning certainly didn't make up the concept of mo of waking up in the morning and thanking God for our soul. So, we're going to do a little Talmudic archaeology right now and dig into finding what was the original wake up song. Does that anybody familiar? Anybody know what in Tammudic times was recommended that a Jew should say as soon as he woke up in the morning? Is a beautiful thing to say and think. And that we're going to get back to being the essence of Modani. So remind me to get back to that. But as far as I know, there's no practice of saying but rather Alicia points out was the original. What do I mean? It says in the that's the which tells us about all the about how a Jew used to wake up and what he was supposed to say right away. Okay. So it goes through the whole list eventually goes and when you open up your eyes you say we hear the turkey the roosters. So you say right and then it says but the first thing you say when you wake up in the morning is the taught us. It's a good one. At the end of the year, we can I can sing all the songs. We can sing all the songs together. Um, my God, the you gave me pure. You formed it. You blew it into me and you keep it within me. Okay. So, God, you created this soul and you're keeping it within me. And in the end, you're going to you're going to return it this soul to to us in the end of days. Whenever the soul is within me, I thank you, Hashem. [Music] You're the source of all blessing, the God who brings souls back to dead bodies. Okay? And then we go on that when you hear the tagle you should say. Okay. So what's the main thing of what's the main idea that that is uh bringing down to us that God returns us our soul and we're thanking God. We even have the words in that for bringing us back our soul. Now there will be a time I hope we're going to go in depth into sha nuances of every single word but just for our purposes. So why don't we say anymore now it is meaning we do say but why don't we when we wake up in the morning the first thing that we do like they did in time say oh there's a little problem the problem is that has God's name in it and how can we say God's name when we wake up in the morning even before we wash our hands because our hands are impure Why are they impure? Either because we may have touched dirty things when we're going to bed or or because this idea that when our soul leaves and uh it it it impuries us then when it comes back we're still impure until we wash our hands. So we can't say as we're going to see Modi is going to take the place of the alakan because it doesn't have God's name in it. But what's the little strange thing? What kasha can we ask on this whole evolution? If so that you can't say shama because our hands are impure then what then how could they ever do say meaning in tamudic times how did they do it? What did they sleep with gloves on? What did they make sure they never slept so that their soul would not be impure? If if I'm saying that you can't say God's name if your hands are impure, then how do they say it in time? They didn't say when they woke up in the morning. That's what it says. But it says in the when you wake up, you should say, you can't tell me that they said it later. It says they immediately said one way or the other we're in trouble. So what changed? Okay. ask how you make a real dime cuz you're saying Hashem's name. But if you do, you also put a dime over you. Well, that's exactly why we first wash our hands and then we say the blessing because our hands are impure. We don't say the blessing before or we wash our hands and then come back later before and then do it again and and then you can the different customs one way the other. We don't say God's name until we've purified our hands. But how are they rolling like that in Tamur times? That's the question. Actually, it's Rabenu Yona's question. Yona of Gandi writes on the rift on his commentary in I'll read it in English. And regarding the fact that they were listed in the Talmud, this is because the people of the Talmud were holy and as a result they were careful to wash their hands and stand in a way that they could recite the blessings out of cleanliness. But regarding we who are unable to be careful and sit with such cleanliness, it is not proper to say to say them until after we wash. In other words, somehow is positing that we back in Talmudic times they were holier so they could keep their cleanliness better. Even when they slept, they were keeping their holiness. So they were making sure their hands would not touch impure places in their body. And if you want to go in the cabalistic route that the soul leaves and then comes back. I don't know cuz their souls are also leaving and coming back. So maybe they were so holy it didn't impury them. Honestly honestly I'm I'm not sure. Having a custom necklace by the bedside. Yeah. That doesn't count in this thing. That's within the first 10 seconds if you're washing hand on the bedside in the court. It it seems to imply in the Gumarra that this is pre-washing their hands. Okay. So, honestly, I'm not sure. Sorry. We have to check with Ian later cuz I'm not really sure how it worked that back in Tamudic times, they were so holy that they were they were but that's what Venona says. It wouldn't have made sense anyways because you have to differentiate between let's say the holy people and the unholy people, right? And then the unholy people. It's that's Dino's explanation. You got something better, you come back, come back next time and let us know. But that's that's what we got. In any case, at at some point in Tamuda time, that was people that were kind of shamat. That custom faded away apparently says and modi is coming to kind of take the place in some way of that that tamudic thing. I have a theory that this happens sometimes in Jewish history. There's an evolution like this where I'll give you a theory I have. Um once upon a time when you were a Jew, what did you do to show that you were Jewish? If you're a Jewish male, you would wear tittis. You'd wear your tassels with your Okay. And you'd wear it out. You wouldn't wear a shirt over your your shirt, your tittis. Why would you be hiding? The whole point is on your shirt. you would show that you're Jewish, like it says in last week's par, right? That was your Jewish identity thing if you're a Jewish male, right? Then what happened in Jewish history? All sorts of things happened and we lived amongst the Gentiles, etc., etc. We went and people started tucking in their titus or people started hiding their titus a little bit, getting a little bit more embarrassed about it wearing a shirt over their titus. So tit is no longer was our way of showing that we're we were Jewish like in biblical times. Okay. Now what evolves later in Talmudic times to kind in a way to take the place spiritually of showing I'm a Jew if I'm a a Jewish male keeper. Right? So then in Tamudic times we the rabbis gave us this other way of showing that we're a Jew openly and showing that we're proud to be Jewish, right? That's kind that's that's my theory. Take it or leave it. There's obviously other reasons why we're keep etc etc. But in a in a way it like takes the place of showing. That's why I kind of think it's funny when people like go to the Yankee game and like wear the the hat instead of wearing a kipa cuz it's like first of all everybody knows you're Jewish anyway. But second of all like the whole point is to show I'm Jewish and I'm proud. So you're trying to hide the fact that you're Jewish but like you're missing the point. But I digress. Okay. Anyways, point is um that that that in Modi takes the place we're good. Okay. Now, I want to show us that the words of Modani themselves where Musha bin Mah didn't make it up. First of all, he was a great cabalist. And second of all, he's in his yeshiva, they they taught Gomorrah. He was a rashiva. He knew Tammudic sources. He knew biblical sources. He knew what he was talking about. And every word of mi is rooted in earlier phrases. Once we understand where those phrases are coming from, it's going to ultimately help us dig deeper into the meaning of the words. Okay. So modi get those words from. So I already gave us one hint, okay, of where modi is found in times and that is in the you go carefully. It says in the okay. So it's clear that is, you know, vibing off of and putting it into his. Thank you so much. Tell you guys, cute story. On the way to the base uh last week, I was I had to get up to the base, but there's no buses running because of the whole situation. So, I was I was going to miss the there were no inner city buses. I needed to get to the to the to my intercity bus and I'm just waiting at the bus stop and this guy pulls up to my house. He says, "Please get in." Oh, he saw me in my army garb. Please get in. I'm like, "Okay, I needed a ride. Sure." So, I get in and it's this guy and he bought this bara and he's like, "Please take this bar. I want to give you a kaya. You're serving the country." And I'm I'm not a bara guy. I'm I don't eat bara. Like I don't even eat breakfast usually. I I have coffee that's it. I don't but like he so wanted to give me that bara that I felt no choice but to eat eat the bara. I forced myself to eat this bara. This guy told me he's suffering from cancer for 8 years and he's running from pharmacist to pharmacist. It was all closed, you know, and he he just he wanted to serve in the army himself, but he can't because of his situation. And he just so much wanted to give to a and even though I'm not much of a but he he w I pretended like I was just so you know and I ate that bara because he so much wanted to give me that baraka. Sometimes you know receiving is also giving. Anyways that was another digression. The point is so so where else do we have this of ani in um in the itself. So we have to go to the We have the following interesting vignette. The source of ding three times a day. Now, we know there's other sources for ding three times a day, right? But here's what thei says. How do we know that we have to dive in three prayers? It says because there's three different times when the day switches. There's different energies of the day and there's three main switch in the morning a Jew must say I am thankful before you know Lord you brought me from darkness to light. Okay. Just as I was able to see the sun in the east, may I also be merit to see it in the west as you take took me from the light to the darkness. So too may you take me out from the darkness to the light. Just so basically every stage of the day I have to say That's what the your shami is saying. Modani is not a once a day type of thing. Modani is a three times a day type of thing. Maybe we can institute this as a new new your shami practice the three times a day stop drop and thank Hashem. But what I wanted for our purposes, what I wanted to say from here is where did Mosha Mah draw this concept of saying modi in the morning as you wake up and at at dawn like we all do right every morning at 5 in the morning right when the day is shifting that's the time to say modi and he's possibly getting it from this yami got it clear so we have two tamudic sources for where he's getting modi from fantastic now I want Skip a little bit. Where did I forget? Wherever he was, where did he get this concept of [Applause] God is a king who's alive and enduring? It's a beautiful phrase. Where do you make that? Where'd he get that from? Where do you make that out from? How so? What does David do have to do with anything? You're saying very high concept, but on a simple level, what does David do literally, linguistically, how does David, you're right, of course, but how does David have? Sorry. Hem Hashem is the king and David is the king. But I'm just going I'm being very simple. What does David do have to do with the phrase? Cuz that's how the song goes. Whatever your is the the phrase in the song that we sing by every bar mitzvah is endured forever. So maybe Moshe is getting that from David. Now where does that phrase come from? You ever wonder where's that from? So, it's actually from a garam. The garam in uh Maros. Did I bring it? I didn't bring it, but it's true anyway. The No, no, it's in Garashana. Okay. in Russia which says when he would do he would say code it's a secret code the code is in the rash that when you go outside and welcome the moon you have to say and that is the source for the this one one rabbi this one rabbi n in the now I'm not saying he he made it up from nothing but I'm saying that's a source that we have in the garra for the concept of doesn't say in he doesn't say that phrase there's similar concept long live the king but the phrase is from the rash so now you know where it's from where did he Oh, that's a big question. We would need a whole course to unravel. Where did the rabbis get their ideas from? Right. Many books associated with him the first time. Exactly. As far as we know, as far as we know, right? Okay. But anyways, so there's a connection between who's and Hashem who's now being called. Okay. Fascinating. I guess it would be we have to do something. We already mentioned it. So what's it mean? What are we stressing when we say that he's not just a mel a living and enduring king? Yeah. His nish. Yeah. Say good. What do you mean? Right. Exactly. In other words, perhaps what we're trying to stress is that it's not just David himself who physically who lives, but his his his shama, his ideals, his values, his lessons are enduring, are still alive. They're still a part of our life, right? Like I I often tell this to my bar mitzvah boys. I do bar mitzvah sometimes when I'm not rabbiing and tour guiding. So I do bar mitzvah at the kot and then you see and then everyone's like but I I ask what does David have to do with yankeis bar mitzvah? So I say I think it goes back to that story when David was dancing with fire in David and BV and and wasn't so happy but he kept dancing didn't care cuz he was dancing for the energy of is still with us and so Yankee whoever you are keep on dancing in the free world right so that's a fascinating so then why don't we say why is associated with David Hamelik. It's a great question. David and Malus, which is about bringing things before into the world. I don't know. We got to think about that. We got to think about that. Unravel why David is and then we can understand why Hashem is. It's an excellent Shilah. But we're not Yeah, actually I jumped into it a little bit, but I'm going to hold myself back. We're not going to go through what word by word. But I'm just showing that every word here is connected to earlier previous sources where Moshe is not making it up. Stop. Yeah. And one more example of this of a little uh you know Tamudic archaeology. Great is your faith which as we'll explore is a strange thing to say. Great is your faith. Exactly. So we're going to get we're going to we're going to get to that that his his belief in us Oh, his belief in Oz is even greater than us. Or if says that beautiful is strange. But before we even get into that, I'm just asking where did he come up with that from that interesting phrase. Where have we heard that before? Exactly. I don't want to get anybody in a sad mood here, but it's actually from the climax in my opinion of a from the third chapter, the end of a in the 25th verse of the third chapter tells us the kindness of God will never be extinguished. because his mercy will not end new in the mornings. Let's say that great is your faith. So he's taking from and bringing it into every single morning. Isn't that a little depressing? He wants to make sure that we wake up every day and don't forget. Why is he doing that? I miss you. You're always with us. You're always with. But um I think of shots like this that when you read a you realize that it's all sad. The first chapter, second chapter, it's all depressing. It's sad. And then finally at the end of the this these verses in the third chapter, we stop with all the complaining and the fetching and the crying and we say, "But there's still hope. God still loves us. He's still our tati. He has this like moment of just like amuna and belief and you know and then he goes back in the fourth chapter and fifth chapter to more crying. But and that moment of faith and joy in in the deepest, darkest, hardest moments, but he still finds a way to be happy and joyous and faithful. That's when he says this phrase. And perhaps that's also why is not it's not obviously there's a linguistic on a simple level we're every morning we're we're alive we start again therefore and then then the gets expressed in the mornings mornings we learn para and what what happens to this week's para what does Mosha tell and his gang boer let's wait till the Okay. He he gives them a chance. He says, "Cool off at night. Maybe your wives will convince you to to not rebel against me." And it works. Some of them don't come back cuz Mo knows the co of the morning that you could be all angry at night and then in the morning mish everything's okay. We've all We've all experienced that, right? I had it I had it recently. I had a I was doing a birthright trip and uh the guys went to the bars at night and the security guard and the kids got into a fight and they were all angry at each other and they're about to call the the boss and get the security guard fired and I was like just you know wait till the morning in the morning they're all friends they're all buddies it's all good you know something par sleep sleep it off and and something something magical happens something about the morning okay So I think I've convinced us that every word is based on earlier traditions, early earlier Talmudic traditions and he ain't making up nothing. Stop. Everything is for a reason. By the way, I should have I I want to read the mid inside which which associates these words specifically with waking up in the morning and feeling like we're a fresh new soul. So I'll read it inside. Midashim, which I think again is like really the the source for and for for Modani by flesh. You give someone, you know, a book to read and then by the time it gets back to you, it's not in as good shape. you know, he read it on the beach and who knows and it's not it's not the same. That's why we give him we lend him something and it's all worn out. What do we lend God? Our soul. Every night we give Hashem our soul and it's we're worn out. We're tired. One of those days you're dead. You wake up in the morning and you feel okay and you feel good. We're a new person. There you have it. The mid is saying that's what we're celebrating every morning. We no matter how tired and how guilty we felt at night, somehow we wake up in the morning, God puts our soul through the laundry, cleans it out, and gives us another chance. And that's the essence of what we're thanking Hashem for every morning in the Okay, so far so good. Beautiful. Okay, now I want we have 20 minutes left, so we're going to start going into the actual words of Modani. We'll see if we could finish it all or we'll see where we go. Okay. I don't know if I want to finish it all cuz I want to really focus on on the first word. Let's see. Let's say how how deep we go. Moda ani. Okay. These are the first words that a Jew is meant to say in the morning. And Rafinis writes the beginning is always the essence of the matter. Right? Right? We have this concept of withades. I mentioned this last year. Whenever you want to key in on the essence of something, you go to the first time something is mentioned in you want to understand what's kadusha. Where is the first time kadusha is mentioned? Oh shabas kesh. Now to understand kadusha we have to understand shabas always the first is the essence of something. Okay. So the first prayer that a Jew says says that must be in the essence of a Jew because a Jew's essence really is gratitude or at least that's what we're supposed to be. We're supposed to be all about gratitude. That everything we're doing in this world is supposed to be thanking Hashem. People are supposed to see a Jew and think, "Oh, those guys, the thankers." Gratitude is the right attitude. Exactly. That's the essence of a Jew. And not only is that the essence of a Jew, but that's the essence of our avod says. Every day the we're reminding ourselves at the beginning of our day that it all begins our my main avod in life is to be grateful to Hashem and to be grateful towards our fellow man. Says of Pinis. Easy to say, it's not so easy to do, right? But that's that's point number one. That is the goal of our lives says and we have this beautiful idea in the in the way that you show Hashem you want to go to. That's the way Hashem is going to bring you there. You want to be a he's going to let you do your thing. You want to be a bum, he's going to let you do your thing. Right? But if you want to be a yid, you want to be a is you want to be a Jew who's always grateful and thankful. So the first thing is just to express your to be grateful to be thankful. And when do we do that act of expressing our in the except you have to be aware that you're actually saying that and conscious and not just you know running through it like unfortunately most of us do. Okay. That's why we have this year to remind at least I'm reminding myself to actually have that consciousness to at least tell Hashem we want to be in that consciousness. How we're going to get to that place of consciousness. He's going to help us get there. But uh we're expressing the ruts. That's step one. Yeah. Odd time. Good. Now I said that the goal is is is but now I want to ask but what is gratitude? Like I know how I know the word. I know in in the dictionary, but like what is the key to truly tapping into real genuine real genuine feelings, not just say saying to so in this comes to the rescue and he's going to tell us the secret of how to be a truly grateful tells us like this. From the day that God created the world, there was nobody who thanked Hashem. until Leia came and she said thank you says she even sang it with the Joey newcome for sure but when the boys weren't watching you know not to have Kisha issues the point is she thanks Hashem so is a genius he know he did the bar in search and he knows the first time that we ever encounter the thanking and it's by Leia. So he's being to us that she was the first person who thought who thanked Hashem when she gave birth to Yehuda. Beautiful. It's a beautiful vort. But what does it mean? What what what exactly is he saying that Leia was the first person to say thank you to? What's the deeper idea that this is trying to convey? Especially cuz it's a little bit problematic. Really? Leia was the first person to ever say thank you. What about I don't know? He never thanked Hashem for nothing. When he had he didn't thank him. Really? That's a little hard to believe. What about? He also has a song, right? Jonathan, I've been made small by all the kindnesses that Hashem did for me. I thinking that all the kindness that God has done for me. I have another proof. Is it the first name? It's the first time that we have the word mentioned on a simple level. That's all is trying to say. But what's so the other people didn't say the word to but what's the here? We we we see that Yakov is is is using gratitude and I'll make the Kashi even stronger. The Gomorrah says where was the first first person who said thank you to Hashem according to the Talmud. Who sang? So of course the is right but the the midra says Adam thought that he was going to die. He sees it's getting darker and darker and darker is happening as we speak and then he thinks that's the end of the world and then he doesn't die and he says it's I'm alive thank you. So what is that? Kamar is explicitly saying who is the first person to say the word toada. So that's accasha. Is it the first name that has thanks in it? Um I think so. Yehuda has the word toada in it. I don't know. We have to do some biblical analysis and think were there other words which have the word hodah in it. It seems like a lot of the other names in the Torah before there were other names before then which seemed to be an expression of thanks. I don't know. We can go through it. But I think there's a pretty strong Gosha. What's this Gamarra really trying to to tell us? What's the idea behind it? Yeah. Any theories? What do you guys think? She says herself, I got more than I deserved. She felt that cuz there were four mothers expecting 12 children. She she got y. Okay. So I want to give two answers. The first this answer and the second a new answer which I read last night. The first answer is the wonderful answer and it goes back to the midrash. The midrash teaches I have it brought down but we all know it from Rashi that Leia had somehow she knew there was going to be 12 tribes. Okay. Just like the 12 words in the Modani. Maybe she knew that too. Yeah. The way they say this the scientists say you're supposed to wait 12 seconds on your bed before you get up and there's 12 words in the Modani. Each word very good. I don't know if I was thinking that when he wrote it, but okay. Anyways, you never know. Anyways, so so she knows she's gonna have 12 kids and she had already had three kids and then suddenly suddenly she has this fourth kid. And she says, "Wait a second." She does the math. I got an extra portion. I was only supposed to be entitled to three kids. I got an extra kid. I got a fourth kid. And then she says, "Now I'm going to really thank Hashem." Also doesn't make sense. Were you happy grateful when you get extra? How does it seem like that? So, we have to unravel this answer. If that's true, well, I mean, first of all, we have to the fact is that she wasn't really that happy before that. You just read read her her her prayers. Was she happy? I I don't know if she wasn't. I I didn't go into the psychology of of Leia Emanu. I'm just saying in the file itself of Ruven, Shiman, and Ley, she's asking for more. Maybe in her private he was uh very thankful to Hashem. I'm not I wasn't there. I'm not g going into her brain but she was there. You get you work and you get your paycheck. So you're happy because you got your paycheck. It's got a bonus. There's something extra. Exactly. So I think what's happening with Leia is she really felt surprised and there is something different of getting what I deserve so to speak or what what was I'm supposed to get and when you get something extra when you get something you did not expect then you're really really grateful. Yeah. So according to this beautiful midrash I think this is telling us tip number two for how to what is gratitude? Gratitude is being surprised. Gratitude is the art of cultivating surprise for the blessings of life. And Jonathan Sax says, "All of Judaism is cultivating gratitude." And that's really all of the things we're doing, all the rituals. And that's why we start off our day with with with gratitude because that's the essence of Judaism. But what is gratitude according to our first definition? Novelty. Novelty and surprise, which is hard. Okay. I'm talking to myself. It's very hard to really walk around every morning and be shocked and be surprised. It's it's not push and it's it's a challenge and and in fact I according to many great rabbis we have Irish writes extensively about this invar that's the whole essence of the Jewish journey that we're not so good at that if you look in our paras parasbar say for midbar it's the generation of it's the generations of every single time we're it's not good enough we get the man we get bored of the man we start complaining about it we get meat It's not good. We want more meat. We bet we we miss the meat of we we want this. We want that. It's never good enough. It's kind of built into our DNA that naturally as humans and maybe you could say even more as Jews, it's natur. But we've got to fight that. We got to fight that yahara and find ways to somehow cultivate genuine gratitude, genuine surprise, genuine joy in the little things in life. Makes sense because like the the ego or the ga says it's coming to me here. You're saying I'm deflating the ego. I'm being submissive and everything is and hopefully a little bit. That's what Judaism is doing for us. hopefully a little bit. That's what is meant to be doing for us. Deflating the ani and and inflating the mod start starting with this gratitude. So I think less about what I deserve and more I cultivate this sense of humility and I don't deserve and etc etc. But here she wants more. She's not really she's not happy with she wants more. It's true. It's a great point. It it it we have to at times in life hold both emotions at the same time. There's a time like in other words when I'm diving myu I'm not so much in that it's all good everything's amazing life for that moment I leave my sense of it's all good and I go into the place of desires and needs and wants and please give me more Hashem but then a minute later I go into the world of mod of modim and I throw away all my desires and I'm just focusing on all the blessings I have in my life. So I don't think they're mutually exclusive. They're both true. And at that moment, Leia was feeling gratitude, which I'm defining her as surprise. And I think davining Judaism helps us cultivate that in surprise. But I think it requires constant constant work, constant reminders. That's why you may have heard this shear a hundred times. I'm sure you've all heard this concept before. But you still I still need to remind myself all the time. Find ways to still treasure to still appreciate the little things in life cuz as soon as you stop appreciating them they go dry. Was she grateful to mention that she was ever grateful? Again I all I have is the text in front of me. We don't see that in the text itself. I don't know what she was thinking in her in her head but we we don't have much details about the so I want I want to I want to talk touch I have five minutes left so I want to I want to give a second answer okay one more answer for today um and then uh we'll save the rest of the words for next week or next time. Um, so last night I was doing a little Khazara and I I I I I heard a new answer to this question cuz you could say wait really a didn't have surprise. I mean he wasn't he wasn't surprised by the kindness of Hashem. Yakovino wasn't surprised. So you so I read in a safeair blankie on the name for a sec the chat's like this there were other people there are others who experienced goodness and thanked Hashem for the good in life but Leia she was thanking Hashem for the bad too. In other words Leia had a tough life. Okay she was always crying. She was always the second best. She was destined to according to the midash marry Asa. Finally, she gets married, but everybody knows it wasn't exactly so kosher. She feels jealous of her of her sister and she she takes that ka and with her really seems like most of her life or a lot of her life and it's tough and she's struggling with these yates and these hard things her entire life. But finally, when she had that fourth child, when she had that extra portion, apparently she has this moment of realizing that all of that hard journey that she had before this, she made it. She made it. It was all It was all for a reason. Hakova, right? She she started singing that that song that everybody's been singing lately, right? I'm blanking on it, but she realiz you have more He was she was singing as she was mish realizing that all those hard things were really for the best. And that's the of Leia. Leia's gratitude came from a place of hardness of harshness. But she's the first one to recognize that all of those hard things were also blessings in disguise. And at least at that moment that's her consciousness and that's the of Leia. And on that note I wanted to I wanted to read a beautiful teaching that he writes in says all of our pains and all of our afflictions and all the exile and any bad thing that he you have and he goes through details or it's part or this or that. It's all only because of the lack of knowledge. In other words, it's not real. The real reason why you're experiencing this negative thing is because of your lack of das. And when your D will be complete, then all of your lackings will be complete. He goes on Nowadays when something bad happens we bless. Bless is the true judge. When something good happens dies so says we have to say because a good thing happens. We hear someone die the is we have to say we don't feel so great but we recognize nonetheless that it's all for the best teaches us in the in the end of days we're going to bless on even the bad things that it's all Because the truth is even the bad things are really good things because he's our father in heaven and no father would really want to do bad to his son. So even though we're experiencing it in this world as bad perhaps remind us to do a as we say to atone for our sins concludes that really God's intention is only good and only it appears to be bad but in truth it's good and therefore Even in this world, if a person is really in that consciousness and recognizes that everything is for the best, he can actually take that harsh experience and make it see the good side of it. See the good side of it. Once again, easier said than done. Okay. When especially when you're experiencing real tourist, it didn't happen until they had that child and she realizes. So, okay, there you go. Oh, and even even Leia herself wasn't apparently she wasn't there always and and and you know and we're allowed to be human and we're allowed to experience pain sometimes. In fact, you have to do uh you have to sit sit in a veus. It's not always natural to pretend like you're happy when you're not happy. But when you're ready to get there, right? When you're ready to move from sadness to be mashim with matzv, when you see that you got the extra bonus, then then you know when when it's guaranteed, then you know, but I think I'll be honest. I think where is saying ideally we should be able we should strive to get there even before you get the bonus. You can wait till the next world because sometimes you're not going to see the bonus in this world. So if you're going to we're going to keep waiting till we see why it was all for the best. I don't know. Some of us are going to wait for a long time. But is is is saying don't wait. Don't wait till we can actually see that it all turned out for the best. Right now, pretend like it's all for the best. Right in gives a good example. It says in the in the inba in the future all the sacrifices the only sacrifice we're going to give is corvan toada cuz a messianic consciousness is only to so says it's going to be like this when msiah comes somebody's going to give you a call and say hey is this common yeah it's common hey my name is Abrami um your car just got smashed your $30,000 car just all and all the money you had inside of it just got burglarized and common's going to say really that's amazing wow that's awesome and everyone's like I know it's awesome and then and common's going to go to the streets then say everybody I just lost all of my money really we're make a party and everyone it's just going to make so much sense so normal that we're celebrating the fact that I'm completely broke and I I I don't have a place to sleep tonight. It's amazing. That's what it's going to be like when Msiah comes. But we don't have to wait till then. We don't want because it's all in our head. It's all in our head. Yeah. So, so maybe that's the second idea of Modi that not just to be surprised by the blessings of life, which of course is something you always want to cultivate genuine surprise as much as we can, but even to kind of start off our day and say, "No matter what happens, Hashem, whether it's good or bad, I'm going to be thankful. I'm kind of giving it all to you, Hashem, and saying, "I'm thankful for what happened. I'm going to be thankful. Ain't nothing going to stop me from this gratitude attitude." And we should be um to to feel this when we say the words. I'll be honest on a personal level I think though the the best way for me to get there at least maybe the only way is to do because when you say the words Modani it's good it's powerful but if you don't actually you don't dig so deep when you when you talk to Hashem with your own words and you speak to him about and what I try to do I try to do it at the end of my right when I say or when I'm scooting it's good you're supposed to do time you know and just thank him for something good that happened in your day and think of something bad and really like go into it, go into the flesh of it, go into the details. And the more you imamish go into and speak to Hashem on a one-on-one level, we we start feeling the the blessings and the more we're looking for blessings. It's just going to attract more blessings and wonderful things into our lives. And Amish is needs so much blessing right now. Needs so much protection. And every single one of us going through all of our usurim, everyone in their own usurim uh needs it. And so let's look at the blessings in our lives as opportunities to thank Hashem. And let's also look at the challenges in our lives as opportunities to thank Hashem. And we're going to receive incredible reward in the next world world for thanking Hashem for even the challenges. Even more so in this world, our lives will be so much sweeter when we uh thank Hashem for every little thing, even the challenging things. So, thank you guys so much for coming and learning Torah with me. And we should all be have beautiful [Music] might. [Applause] [Music] Thank you. I thank you. [Music] Thank you. [Applause] Thank you. [Music] My birthday [Music] tomorrow