Text-Based Tanya Class—Week #51

Okay, so first of all, thank you to this class so much. I got the wonderful card and generous gift in honor of Tybel, my daughter, my first child, uh her her wedding, which was uh just Monday night. Yeah, Monday night, yeah. Yeah, in Crown Heights, Baruch Hashem, at 770. So, thank you for thinking of us and participating. Um and that's why we didn't have class on a regular Monday. But, we will get back on track with Hashem's help next week, and we'll get this class back on to Mondays. Also, we want to mention Hashgacha Protis. Normally, the class is Monday, but because of the wedding, it got pushed to Thursday, but Hashem always has a plan. Today, literally today today, the fourth day of Hanukkah, is which is Chof Ches Kislev, is the 16th Yahrtzeit of Sara Yuta Leah Shalom bas Ephraim, Menachem Mendel the Dina Shtehyo. And um all of our learning today should be an aliya for the neshama. Okay. We are continuing a theme that we started in chapter 29. If you remember, chapter 29 sort of took on a very harsh tone because it was addressing a very serious uh dangerous condition that we call Timtum Halev. A clogging of the heart. Not physically clogging like cholesterol, but um emotional clogging, where the heart is closed off to feeling inspired for Hashem. And we said the only way to remove it is to smash it away, get rid of it. Um so in chapter 29, we outlined this program for can I say self-humiliation? Um not in like a public extroverted weird type of way where you you're look You're not trying to get people to step on you or anything. It's nothing weird like that. It's a It's a very internal private process where you confront yourself. It's just between you and Hashem, and you confront yourself um and basically try to prove to the ego that things are not okay. Uh you do not have the luxury to rest on your laurels, that indeed your situation is absolutely unmanageable. And that feeling of unmanageability, that rock-bottom experience, um causes the complacency to disappear, and then all of a sudden the heart opens, and one can feel again. So, that was chapter chapter 29. In chapter 30, we continued along the same tack, and we spoke about humility, about truly embracing the idea, not as a posture, but as a real as a real belief that even somebody who objectively speaking is morally inferior to me because they're making really bad choices, but from a certain perspective, I should be humbled before them because subjectively speaking, the effort that they put in to being such a failure is far more intense, meaning they're not trying to be a failure, but I'm saying, the effort that they put in and they end up failing morally is is far greater than the effort that I'm putting in to just sort of coast and do okay morally. And uh so, we should be in admiration of such people rather than to use their example as sort of a way to comfort ourselves as in well, at least I'm not like that guy. Look at that guy. That That guy's a scumbag, you know, I'm not like him. Well, hold on a second. No, to the contrary. That guy's struggling with with with stuff that you don't struggle with. Thank God you don't struggle with that. You're Your struggles are on a much higher level. So, we spoke about that last week. And And again, it's a very harsh approach. It's a uh It It It forces us to take a really hard look at ourselves. But uh we're doing it for a purpose. Again, to dislodge any of the the complacency and the apathy that are preventing our our hearts from feeling. Okay. Continuing along this same vein, we're now on chapter 31, Perek Gimmel Aleph. And he's going to address an issue that may arise at this point, which is he acknowledges that the approaches that we've been outlining for the past couple of chapters are very uh are very harsh. And that it could cause one to feel bad. And the whole point is not to feel bad cuz if you remember back in chapter 26, the premise was um you have to serve Hashem with joy because joy unleashes all of your latent potentials. When you are joyous, you do everything excellently, including serving Hashem. And so, in chapter 26, we Remember the the metaphor with the wrestlers? The wrestler who was psychologically defeated, so then he lost to an inferior opponent. So, we said, you have to feel joyous in order to do your best. So, joy is so important, and therefore we're going to address all types of sources of the opposite of joy. And we dealt with stuff that I mean, I think definitely the first time I went through Tanya, it was surprising to me. Um the he tells you don't even feel religious guilt if that'll make you depressed and it'll undermine your ability to serve Hashem, right? So, we dealt with all these sources of negative feeling, but it's now he's saying, "Well, hold on a second. I You've been helping me, or the Alter Rebbe is saying, "We're We're going to say to him that he's been helping us to defeat all these causes of of negative emotional states, but this last method, or a couple methods, may actually induce a negative emotional state, in which case you have to say to yourself that you end up losing whatever you were trying to accomplish." Good question, right? In other words, the whole point here is I need to stay in a positive frame of mind in order to serve Hashem properly. Apathy is a negative frame of mind, great. So, let's get get let's knock away the apathy. Ah, but in knocking away the apathy, I may actually cause a side effect, which you know, you take a medication to take care of the side effect from the medication that takes care of the Right? Like Western medicine. And then you take another medication. We got another medication for that, which takes care of the side effects. Okay, fine. So, he says, "What do you do about the fact that the last couple methods may may themselves bring on a negative emotional state, which was the whole point we were trying to to avoid?" You hear the dilemma? Okay. Perek Lamed Aleph, chapter 31. V'hinei af im k'sheyarei'ach harbe la hamik bin yomam u'shtayim Even, if you will, meditate at length for an hour or two, he says, on these matters. In other words, the things we've been speaking about in the past couple of chapters, that that really that thorough uh introspective stock-taking, where you don't look away and you you dig deep and you confront yourself. I called it an intervention. That internal intervention. Or the thoughts from the previous That was from chapter 29. Or the chapter from chapter 30, the previous chapter, where you're you're humbling yourself and you're saying, "Am I really working hard? Am I breaking a sweat? Do I think about every word when I when I bench?" So, he says, "Even if you'll think about these matters for an hour or two, and it'll make you lowly of spirit and broken-hearted, and it'll bring you to a great I'll translate it as depression, but I don't mean clinical depression, a great sadness. Don't worry. Well, what do you mean, don't worry? I thought in chapter 26, the whole point was we're trying to get away from atzvus. I thought you told me that sadness is poison. And now you're telling me, "Oh, I got this method to clear up your emotional problems." Oh, but it'll cause the exact emotional problem that you're trying to avoid. Doesn't make sense. He says, "Don't worry." I shouldn't worry? So, obviously there's something here in this chapter that I need to understand. So, God willing, we're going to understand it. Okay, let's let's continue. Now he's going to build the question, like we always do. We always build the question. We don't take care of your question right away. First Oh, thank you so much. He's now going to get rid of your question. First he's going to build on it. He's going to magnify. He's going to make it worse. First of all, you're right. Sadness as an emotional energy is not from holiness. It is from Klipa. Which Klipa? Klipa Sneiga, the intermediate Klipa. It's not the worst Klipa. Which chapter, by the way? Somebody impress me. Where do we learn about Klipa Sneiga? Yeah, toward the beginning. Yeah. Eight? Seven. Seven. Very good. Very good. That was pretty close. And I take pride in that as a teacher because I'll tell you what, cuz I'm I'm very um into knowing the structure of Tanya. And so for me, I don't think you need to know exactly which chapter everything is, but you should have a general feel. You should have like If I If I come to your house and I say, "Do you have a cup of sugar?" You're not going to go look in the basement. You're not going to go look in the attic. You're going to look somewhere in the kitchen. You know it's some Maybe even more specifically, it's somewhere in this cupboard. And that's how I think you should know Tanya. You should know basically You don't have to know exactly which chapter but fact you said eight and it was seven means you basically know which side of the room, which room, which which wall to look on. And that's that's important. Okay. So yeah, it's true. Sadness is not Kadusha. It's not holy. No. That's why he wrote that Venus. He said that even to be sad about sins is only appropriate while you're actually confessing. You should not be sad about your sins while you're trying to learn Torah or while you're davening because that has to be done with joy cuz those are holy things and holy things have to be be with joy. Okay. So, he amplifies the question. He says, "Sadness is not holiness. Holiness is joy. That's why the Arizal said, 'Everything holy, like learning Torah and davening, has to be done with joy.'" Um he only gives a special dispensation to feel sad while you're literally in the moment of confession. And so, yeah, we have a big question here. All right. Al pi k nevertheless, had ikacha ya'amida. This is the way lakaf ya lesitra achra bemin u'vedugmasa to subjugate the other side by giving it some of itself. Little homeopathic treatment. Like treats like. All right? Like or a taste of its own medicine. Kama'amar Hazal, like the sages say, "Minei u'vei, from it itself, eeba lishtiya bei narga, comes the handle for the axe which cuts down the tree. Meaning the axe handle's made from a piece of wood that comes from a tree which then goes back and cuts down other trees. Or u'faga bei kayetsa bei, he met up with his own kind. Somebody one tough guy met another tough guy and he got the treatment that tough guys dispense to other tough guys. Val zeh ne'emar, bechol atzei viyamayisa. This is what King Solomon meant in his wisdom when he said, "Every sadness will have some productive yield." What is that productive yield? Vahai Yisrael, that productive yield hi asimha bo acharei atzei hakelala kamen. It's the joy that comes after the sadness, as we explained earlier in chapter 26. Remember we said make your appointed times you're allowed to have your appointed times, but the but after your appointment of reviewing your deficiencies, you should then close up close it up close up the books and emerge joyful that Hashem has forgiven you. Okay, so he says basically, yeah, I know this is going to induce some sadness, but it's okay because it is the right kind of sadness. Not First of all, he says it's not kedusha. It's not kedusha because because holiness is always is always joyful. But it's it's it's within klipa it's klipa sneiga, so it's intermediate, which means it's neutral, so it could it could become used for a good purpose. And in this case it's being used for a good purpose. It'll it'll lead to greater joy afterwards. Maybe not not not while it's happening, but afterwards you close up shop when you finish the process. By the time you're done it'll be it'll it'll bring you back to joy. Okay. So that's how he first explains it. Now he says, but you want you want to know something? The truth is it's a Yes, what he told you now is is true. He says, but but there's a there's a deeper explanation. But there's a deeper explanation. Ach ba ach ba ach ba emes but the truth is, you want to really know, between you and me, you want to know the truth? Ain lev nishbar u'merirus nefesh al hachukim u'hair panim Hashem vislavshus avas sitra achra nikraim b'shem atsvus klala u'lashon hakodesh. A broken heart and a bitter spirit over being far from Hashem and being invested in the other side it's not really properly called atsvus, sadness in the holy It's not really it's a you're it's a misnomer. It's not really atzvos. He atzvos shall even a tum tum k Evan the in highest believer. Cuz sadness really means when the heart is is is plugged like a stone and has no vitality. I've only read this for a little niche board but bitterness in a broken heart. How do you have to believe at least Paul is mama? There is a vitality there which is precisely what's manifesting this feeling of bitterness. It actually highest glorious days. Except there's a different type of energy. It's an energy from Buddha from Hashem's restraint. I think I'm going to have to tell them where as joy comes from Hashem's kindness. Can I have call me stay in because the heart has both. Stop. Let's unpack. The real bad atzvos which we want to avoid is a dullness or a numbness. Blah. I can't do anything. I have no will to get out of bed. That's absolutely disastrous and we have to do whatever we can to avoid that and to get rid of it. But then there's another type of negative feeling that's not really so negative. I mean it's not pleasant. It's not pleasant. I'm not I'm not going to fool you. It's not pleasant. But it's not so terrible either because there's vitality to it. He calls it mireros. You know, like mirror. By the way, do you know why the lion loved the Pesach Seder. Does You nobody knows why the lion loved the Pesach? wanted more cuz he What? Must have to get more raw. You have to say it right. Why did the Why did the lion love the Pesach? Cuz he got to have More raw. More raw. Yes, very good. So, maror is like murder. Means bitterness. It's not atzvus, it's maror. Huge difference. So, you understand? The The The beginning of the chapter, the Alter Rebbe was like, "Hold on a second. These methods from 29, from 30, they could bring on negative emotional states." He's like, "Okay. So, first of all, don't worry so much about it because you could use it productively. It's not It's not It's clipah, but it's not kedushah. It's clipah, but it's clipas nogah, and we could use it out." But then he's like, "You want to know the truth, though? It actually is holy. It's just a weird kind of holiness. Generally, holy emotions are from chesed, from Hashem's kindness, and therefore we experience them as joy, um love, warmth, you know, that flowing flowing of positive energy, good vibes. That's in the holy realm. However, there is also within the holy realm gevurah. Like gevurah is Hashem's restraint. Just like Hashem projects his energy to create, he also withholds his energy. If If the infinite didn't withhold some energy, there would be no creation, right? So, a lot of creativity is about Hashem holding back. Like a lot of teaching is what you don't say. You walk into the room, you say everything that you're thinking, that's not communicative, that's not helpful. So, a lot of it is self-censorship, which you guys don't realize. I'm editing before I even say some stuff. You think some of the stuff I say is bad, you should hear the stuff that I didn't say. So, that's Gevurah. Well, one second. So, he says, "In the human experience, generally speaking, if you're aligned with holiness, your emotional state is one of upbeat warmth and positivity. However, there's also room within the human experience for holy emotions, which are what we'll call negative, but they're not really negative. They come from Gevurah, they come from Hashem's concealment or mask, self-masking, or or or holding back. And and and the way we experience them is he he calls it the the emotional state of of of bitterness. I would maybe even call it frustration. And because it motivates, in fact, by definition, that's what it is. It's a It's motivating. It's not crippling. It's not crippling, it's not incapacitating, it's not making you feel worthless, like you're incapable of doing anything. To the contrary, it is motivating, like a There's a fine line between, you know, the the the football coach who can scream at you and and get you to run an extra lap and the one who screams at you and makes you quit the team. The fine line. But, Gevurah is Kedushah, it's holy Gevurah, holy restraint and and harshness and stern judgment is that emotional energy which is not pleasant. I'm not going to say it's pleasant. It's It's unpleasant, but it's motivating and therefore, it's not unholy, it is holy, and and there's definitely a place for it in our experience. What were you going to say? I I feel like we lost that part when you said you're going to deal with that. The challenge, the depression with a little bit like a homeopathic homeopathic Oh oh oh oh. Okay. So, the the homeopathic thing. Yeah. okay. So, the the home You're feeling blah. That's the clinical term for it. Okay. That's um That's not I said that's good. Feeling blah is not acid. It's good. Yeah, it's acid. Blah is good. And it's not a good word. It's a yucky word. So, how do you treat the yucky word? With the good word. What's good word? A healthy frustration with oneself that leads to motivation. So, you treat like treats like. That's the point he's saying. So, sometimes the medicine for a negative emotional state is Well, some most of the time is to replace it with happiness. And that's generally what we do. But, sometimes the appropriate response to a negative emotional state is the counterpoint or the mirror image, so to speak, of that same negativity, but in its holy in the holy version of Actually, I should reverse what I'm saying because the holy is the archetype, and the unholy is the imitation, is the bizarro version. You know, Superman bizarro world? Okay. In Superman, there's a bizarro world. It's like there's a bizarro Superman, and yeah. Anyways. I think women know, like, what will make them happy. like if they buy something, eat something, or something superficial. I think that like when you're feeling blocked, and you know it's from like inside that something that's going to make them happy it's going to be again temporary. There's tournaments, there's vehicles, there's talked about the real tournament. What's the question? I'm not following. So, like whatever it is, whether it's a holy thing or a superficial thing, not something No, we're not talking about any superficial things. Only holy things. Only holy things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But what we're saying is sometimes when you're feeling negative, the solution isn't to feel immediately positive. Sometimes the solution to a negative emotional state is another negative emotional state, but it's not really negative, it's it's healthy. And what is that? What's that negative emotional state which is not truly negative? Frustration and bitterness. Why? What makes frustration and bitterness categorically different than sadness? It's motivation. Motivation? That's it. That's it. Okay? So, if it makes you feel paralyzed, if it makes you feel incapacitated, it's it's useless. I mean, that it's it's by definition it's useless cuz it leads to uselessness. And and we need to avoid it at all costs. But if once in a while the internal gym coach is screaming at you, "You bums! You're not even You know like like Mickey would yell at Rocky, call him a bum. That's what it is, really. It's like a little Burgess Meredith in your mind saying, "Rocky, you bum." That's what it is. Okay. There's someone on YouTube right now understands these references, that Somebody out there? I get the Rocky If you understand, just make a comment. Comment below cuz I'm sitting in a room here in five times. People staring at me like a wacko. If you understand, just make a little comment below. Thank you. You're absorbing. You loved it. Oh, you laughed. Okay. You did laugh. I didn't hear anyone laugh. I didn't hear it. I'll play back to wasn't hilarious, but okay. All right. Okay. So you're saying just do leaning to mitzvah what even if you're still No, we're not even talking about mitzvahs here. We're not there yet. Mitzvahs are actions. We're not up to action. This is This is heart surgery. We're we're working on our emotions. Yeah. What I'm saying is that we gave you these methods of introspection which sometimes it's a a dangerous place to go. Your head can be a dangerous place to go. So normally, we don't want to go there, but sometimes that is the proper approach. And even though it's not going to be pleasant it's not going to feel good but it will lead to positive action. Now, if you sense that that's not what's happening and you're just depressing yourself, then obviously, you're on the wrong track and stop. Just immediately just cease and desist. Yeah. Yeah. So I thought that introspection was part of our daily practice. Introspection is part of our daily practice. Introspection is to be used sparingly and and tactically. It's you have to be very careful about it. Introspection is a slippery slope. But isn't it just what it do? And yeah, and use it carefully. Yeah. It's not something Uh if you can handle it. No, if you can handle it. An introspective bedtime shmo is fantastic. Usually recommended once a week, Thursday nights at the end of your week. Sometimes it's ever so good at the end of your month. Whatever you can handle without becoming depressed uh depressed. And you know, there's an expression analysis paralysis. So, they say that in business a lot that yeah, you end up with a project getting stalled because you're looking at it and looking at it and looking at it. And that I think has a lot of applications in personal spiritual growth. So, we don't want that. We don't We don't want introspection that lets us go too deep into the self-doubt and the questioning and the No. No. No. But, if you can do it in a way, like I said, like the like the good gym coach who screams at you in a good way. Okay. Let's continue here. So, the heineck From time to time, meaning not often, but once in a while. How often? Once in a while. You need to arouse the holy good ace in order to sweeten the judgments. Okay, this is more of that homeopathic stuff. Like treats like. Sweetening the judgments. All judgments? No, judgment means restrictedness. When everything's flowing liberally without any type of limits and goodness is abundant and and available and and obvious The things are very really well. Right. So that's Hesed. Gevurah is when Hashem says, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, let's slow this down a little bit." So that's called judgment as well. Gevurah is called Din. Why? Cuz Din is like, "Whoa, whoa, let's slow this down." That's a judgment call. When you make a judgment to say, "Let's let's slow it down." You know, like sometimes I'm explaining something that I think is so exciting and I'm like, "This is the coolest idea and I'm so excited I get to teach this to people." And then I realize, "Hold on a second, I'm I can see I'm in your eyes we're reaching cognitive overload." And I and I pull it back and I say, "Slow down. We'll get there. It We'll get there, but I can't give one blast of it or it's just it's worthless. So Gevurah is called Din or judgment. Now, here's the thing. The judgments in their in in their archetypical state, in their source, are all positive. None of them are negative. It's all good stuff. It's for our benefit. Hashem holds stuff back like you know, when you're feeding a baby, you don't just pour the whole bowl of applesauce in the baby's face. That's not loving. That You do one spoon at a time, you let them swallow, you do another spoon. So judgment in its source is a very, very loving thing. Even though it's the opposite of love, but it's all love because in holiness, even the restraint is giving. That's the paradox. But after a while, see, things flow from one level to another level, they devolve through the orderly progression of of worlds. And by the time the Gevurah gets down here, it becomes, at least the way we experience it, it becomes harsh judgment. Instead of loving judgment, it becomes harsh judgment, which maybe you would call rejection or or or something that feels judgmental. Um you're not good enough. No, you don't get No, you're not worthy. All right. So, that's obviously a very negative experience. But it depends where you're at emotionally and how it affects How How it affects Yeah, sure, right. But right now we're saying even objectively speaking, there are judgments up in the highest worlds, which are loving judgments, and then there are judgments we experience down here, which we experience as rejection or or being deemed unworthy. Um But isn't it ultimately a loving judgment? Yes, ultimately it is. So, listen. So, he says So, you sweeten, he calls it sweetening. Okay, that's the word that we use, la hamtikat dinim. You sweeten it by returning it to its source. Cuz in its source, it's sweet. So, he says, "How's the tool to access that source?" Through the the the holy judgment of this type of personal stock-taking, which ends up motivating you. So, in other words, he says, "You take the yucky gvurah and you raise it back up to the good gvurah, which is really sweet gvurah. You sweeten the harsh uh yucky gvurah. How do you How do you do that? By taking the sadness, which is yucky gvurah, cuz it doesn't lead to anything, and antidoting it with some frustration or bitterness, which is healthy gvurah. And then what you do is It's very interesting. You don't just displace the negative emotional state, you actually sublimate it. Because all along really in its source, in its origin, Gevurah is great. It's great stuff. You were just down here experiencing it as a as an unproductive feeling that was leading to not being motivated. So basically, it's being cognizant of the metaphysical origin of this negative emotional state and and returning that emotional state to its spiritual source. Isn't that also Italian with Hanukkah? Because it's Hashem Kiyah Taimadi. The the ascension and the transformation. Explain more. We just came from a class. I don't have the benefit of the whole class. You have to I the word the expression he was using was um Tzar here Hafsali, he was saying. Um that in the midst of the Tzar that Hashem is giving you the the he also gives the the Right. The crisis is the opportunity. Yes. So this Sure. And but this would be an entirely internal uh situation where because of your emotional crisis, which is the demotivating sadness, you actually confront Gevurah in a in a in its holiest archetypical form, which is frustration, which leads to being motivated. Yeah. What if someone gets stuck in the motivating Gevurah? Gets stuck in the bitterness and frustration? Well, your question, what if somebody gets stuck in the motivating bitterness, is almost like an impossibility because by definition, if it's motivating, you're not stuck. So what's the next step? It's motivating to what? What happens after that? What happens after that? So, you tell me. So, you come to Rabbi Taub's class and Okay, coming to Rabbi Taub's class is one good thing to do, yes. Okay, but that's then what are you going to do the rest of the week? Okay, that's fair enough. Okay. how do you sublimate it? What do you sublimate it with? Okay, hold on. Two two No, not joy. Joy comes after. Okay, hold on. We have two questions on the table. from the frustrating the frustration motivation to do your job. Which is to serve Hashem. Which is you get up in the morning and look for opportunities to be useful. See, the yucky gvurah says, "I can't get out of bed. I'm useless. Nobody needs me. My life has no purpose. Or maybe if it once did, I've squandered it already. I'm going back to sleep and I hate myself." Okay, that's yucky gvurah. Which obviously, the way I just described it, it There's nothing you can do with that. There's nothing It's garbage. It's a garbage emotion. However, he says a very interesting thing. What we could do is we could sort of scrape away all the layers and we could get to the core of it. So, you know, in essence, that yucky emotional state is really just gvurah. And in its origin, in its source, what's gvurah? Gvurah is divine judgment that is loving, careful, judicious discretion. Um it's not a negative thing. It's a good thing. Okay, great. But that's very abstract. How do I experience that? Here's how you experience it. Do a little self-judgment. Not demotivating yourself and calling it self-judgment cuz that that's not really judgment. That's you already made up your mind. You already have a verdict and now you have to justify. The If you already have the verdict, I'm useless and I and I can't get out of bed today and then you need to rationalize and back that up then that's that's not what we're talking about. What we're saying is hold on a second. Sometimes the antidote to this negative gevurah is positive gevurah. Which is not a pleasant experience. No, it's much more pleasant to just be joyful, but the experience of taking stock, taking a real unflinching look at yourself and saying, "This is not okay. No, I'm not allowed to waste my talents and my time and and I'm not allowed to do this and I'm better than this. I'm better than this. So, that's not a pleasant experience, but it's not negative, either. And that's what he's calling frustration. And how do you know it's really frustration and not just tearing yourself up and and and making yourself even more unmotivated? It's very simple. Look what it leads to. Look what it leads to. So, when you say what if you get stuck in it? By definition, you can't get stuck in it. If you're stuck in it, it's not it. Let me Let me make sure everyone under stands. If you're stuck in it, it meaning healthy frustration, then it's not it. It's not healthy frustration. Cuz by definition, you can't get stuck in healthy frustration. Healthy frustration is going to move you. Healthy frustration is not going to let you sit at home. It's not going to let you do that. What about could it be self-pity and like the Self-pity, did you say? Yes, self-pity. Yes, self-pity is the negative stuff, yeah. Victim like a Victimhood, yeah. Yeah, that's all the negative stuff. So, this is I No, I'm not going to I'm not going to sit around. I'm going to go and do something. I'm going to go do something, yeah. just backtrack. What is the frustration about? The The negative emotional space. Okay. So, you want me to elaborate. You're always one step ahead. Really. I said I'm going back. No, you're not. You're going you're you're perfect Okay. You want to You want me to elaborate exactly what am I frustrated about? This is exactly where we're heading. Okay, perfect. Really. All right. Um All right. So, he says we got to sweeten those judgments. The negative judgments are the animal soul and the evil inclination when they are ruling over a person, God forbid. That's what we're frustrated and we're going to elaborate even more, but what we're frustrated about is my false self is running riot. My false self is is is running my life. The only way to sweeten the judgments is in their source. So, instead of displacing the negativity with pure positivity, we do this funny move, this judo move. Would you call it perhaps judo? Maybe? Like come at me as hard as you want because the force with which you come at me is the force with which I'm going to flip you. 100%. 100%? Okay. And we do have somebody who knows what they're talking about. Just FYI cuz I made a joke once and I was told no, it was not Remember my the joke about what's the difference between karate and judo? Karate's a form of self-defense. Judo's what bagels are made out of. But at anyway, but that's only a joke. But that description of judo Okay. All right, I'm backed up by someone who knows what they're talking about and that's all that matters. Okay. You guys don't realize what we have in this class. The resources The false self is running and ruining your life? The false self is running and ruining your life. It's running your life poorly. It is running your life very poorly. And not a false self though. It It is your soul. It's your animal It's your animal soul, but that's not the real you. It's not the realist you. And it And it And the animal soul should be working for the godly soul, not not the other way around. So, the frustration is, "Hey, you. Stop it. Stop making choices for us. You're not managing things well." Yeah. Yes. Right. So, the animal soul is reacting to the way Hashem is running our lives. And it's not reacting well. Right. It's feeling incapacitated and demotivated. So, we have to turn to that aspect of ourselves and say, "You. You're not in charge. You don't run our You do not run our life very well. You're not running it well." Right. So, then what's the What's the other side of the conversation? Is the the Is the animal soul and the what soul? The godly soul. And so, then the godly soul should respond to the animal soul saying The godly soul is the one who's saying, "You're not running our life very well." So, you're not in charge anymore. And that leads to what? And And And therefore, from now on, we're going to use our time wisely to search out ways in which we can be of service. We're not going to sit here and And And stewing in self-pity. We're going to go out and do what our souls came to the world to do. Can the false self ever be beneficial? A false self can only be beneficial when it is working for the true self. If whenever it's in charge, it's going to always come false self is being the false or when you're being the true? Well, that's what the whole Tanya's about is identifying which which voice is speaking. Okay. Yeah. How do we balance that, which is like perspective Yeah. with real pain? Experiential pain of the restraints that have So, you're asking a good question, but that for you're saying, "Okay, but what do you do when life is too painful?" But that's what we did in chapter 26. The first half of chapter 26 was how do you process pain. So, we we've been given that tool. Can I get a reminder for Can we get a reminder? I can give you a 10-second reminder, which probably will not be very satisfying, but it was about No, no. First half of chapter 26 was about reframing and realizing that the hidden good is actually a higher good. Doesn't sound so satisfying when I sum it up that quickly. what the godly soul should be saying to the animal That's what the godly soul should be saying to the animal soul. Yeah, yeah. us out of Yeah, to move us out of that self-pity, which is incapacitating. Yes. us out of the frustration. Well, the frustration that we don't need to get out of it, we just need it Here's the thing. The frustration, by definition, is going to lead to action. It's a tool. So, it's a tool, and you don't have to worry about it because if it does it's what it's supposed to do, you're going to be active very soon. Well, I think that's what my question is. Yeah. A person can be stuck in a frustrated, yet active, state of continuously showing up, moving through, doing the motion, Right. reaching out, talking to Hashem, coming to learning, and trying to Okay. So, you're asking what if you're in an in an extended state of your constant motivation, and it's keeping you it's keeping you moving. You you know, you you're not you didn't stop. You didn't But, it's coming from a place of of frustration. You haven't had that joy yet. Right. But, that menuchas hanefesh That menuchas hanefesh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That that sense of serenity. So, I don't I don't know if this is the right answer or not, but I sense that the answer is probably that there's no objective way to quantify in terms of time like how long should this go on for? Like, if somebody would say, "Well, I've been in this state for 5 years. Is this crazy?" And my answer would be like, it's individual. I don't know. It could be somebody's journey is they are in a state of perpetual frustration, but as long as true frustration, I mean, it's keeping them moving, and it's not knocking them on their back, then that's what it is, and that's their avodah for now. That's their Now, if someone comes to say, "I'm in a state of frustration for 5 years, and that means every other day I can't get out of bed." I would say, "No, no. That's not frustration. That's that's incapacitating." So, does this Go ahead. I could I could stop you. No, I I don't want you to interrupt me. Does this chapter apply to tzaddikim? No. No, and I'll tell you why. Because the tzaddik does not have the frustration of a false self running his life. I think it's a higher control. Right. under control under under Any other chapters not applied to the deacon? Well, the whole book is not for tzaddikim, it's safe for shulbanim. It's for us. Okay, let let's continue a little bit. Okay. All right. For us. Therefore, our sages say A person should always incite his good inclination to rage. Rage, rage is means rage. That means anytime he sees that he needs it. That's a very subjective term, by the way. How often should I do it? Well, whenever you need it. Like, how often should I change the oil in my car? Uh whenever you need it. Well, no. I mean, they really Yeah. Is that like when you talk to yourself and you say, "Okay, enough of this now. Move on." Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes, that's right. So, he says, "When you see yourself already in a negative emotional state, so you can counter that with a another negative, but not truly negative emotional state of frustration. And you incite your yetzer tov to rage against your yetzer hara. Okay. Sometimes, isn't it a reaction also of what Hashem is giving? You can be You're trying to get yourself out of that frustrating state, and you're almost there, and then Hashem like whacks you with another situation. I can't Yeah, but if Hashem's whacking you with situations, go to chapter 26. We're not talking about a tough life. If life is tough, go back to chapter 26. What we're talking about here is the self-sabotage of I'm worthless, I'm no good, I'm disgusting, I'm a moral failure. That's what we're talking about right now. party. The pity party. I shouldn't you say to yourself, "I'm on a journey to reach my potential self. Yeah, you should say that. Yeah. if you're on a But if you're on a journey That's gentle talk, and gentle talk is normally productive, but sometimes we're in a state of mind where that gentle talk is not effective, and we need rage. Right. Okay, but what Not all the time. Right. When it's needed. The art is knowing when You can anyone can just rage all the time, but you got to know when. Yeah, yeah, what? That could be said because we'd be like Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so listen, but he's helping us to sort of know when the appropriate time is. Ah sha'as hakasheh. The appropriate time. She he sha'am yuchadish ru ulakach l'rei benei Adam, which is a a good propitious time for most people. And I like how he says most people. I actually love how he says most people because people tend to want to take everything in Tanya or anything from anywhere so black and white, and he's like most people. Of course, there are exceptions, but the best time for this for most people he b'sha'ashu atzei b'lav hachin is when you're anyways feeling yucky about stuff going on in your life o ikav b'lishum sibah or randomly for no reason at all. So, when you're feeling yucky about stuff going on in your life or you're feeling yucky for no particular reason azai he sha'as hakasheh l'hatzei atzei b'li eish mimarei d'chushban u'miskal el, then grab that, flip it around, and become one of those stock uh takers that we spoke about in chapter 29. Remember we talked about being the mareh d'chushban, taking stock, being an accountant, and making this this searching of fearless moral inventory. U'l'kayem amar Rav Z'al lo aleinu ya'agov v'chulukah to then do what the sages say, to incite your yetzer tov to rage. And this will actually and this will actually relieve you from your sadness about what's going on in your life. Afterwards it'll bring you to true joy. This is what you should think about that will bring you to double comfort. After you go through the the harshness, tell me and say to your heart Here's the soliloquy. And we had a little monologue in the previous chapter, actually in chapter 29. And here's another monologue. You're going to say to yourself Yes, it is undoubtedly true. I am ultimately far from Hashem and disgusting and abominable. Yeah, it's all true. Yeah. I admit it. I'm so far from Hashem. I am not managing my life well. However, however It's just me. Just me. Who are goof in the first just my body and it's animating soul. Meaning it's it's just me. The false me. Not the real me. But deep down inside of me there's a piece of God which is present even in the most sinful Jew which is the godly soul, the spark of the godly soul which is invested within all of that packaging. But it's in a state of exile. Meaning it's not in control. It's there but it's not in control. The came and if that's the truth, the more disgusting my spiritual state is, that means my godly soul is in a worse galus. And the pity for my godly soul is even greater. Therefore, here's my bottom line. I'm going to devote my entire life and all my energy to lift my godly soul out of that exile state and bring her back to her father's home like in her youth. She's a little princess. She grew up in the palace, and now she's living down in this crazy situation, trapped in a body with an animal soul who's running her life and calling the shots, but I'm not going to allow that to happen. I'm going to rescue the princess, and I'm going to bring her back to the palace. I'm going to put her back into the state that she was before she came down into my body. You know how she was back then? She was absolutely subsumed within and and united with Hashem. And even now, it can be that way again. Take my heart and bless my spirit. She, the pure godly soul can once again become one with Hashem. When I apply all my energy to Torah and mitzvahs, when I put all my 10 faculties of my soul into Torah and mitzvahs that we mentioned, now which chapter do we mention all the 10 faculties of the soul? Just take a guess. Which chapter? the 10 faculties of the soul? Chapter 40. Four is close, it was three. You're very close. Great. Very good. Oh, no, it was today's skitas or yesterday's skitas or two days ago skitas. Especially the mitzvah davening, lead to to cry out to Hashem with the pain of my poor little soul, the poor little princess who's in exile. That's painful. This pure pristine princess, a lot of alliteration there. To take all the 10 faculties of your soul and pour them into Torah and mitzvahs and by doing that we return the precious princess back to her father's palace. The pure precious pristine princess is returned to the palace of her father. I like that. To get her out of prison and to put her back attached to Hashem. So basically, what do we do? We take unhealthy negative emotions. You said, "When you're feeling blah about life or just for no reason at all." Got up on the wrong side of the bed like we say. So to flip that and say, "You know what? Let's do some healthy negative emotions which is I'm not okay with this. This beautiful princess, she comes from the palace and she was one with her father. She was my talking about my godly soul. She was united with her father. That's where she comes from. That's what reality is. That's the those are her origins. And she was plunged into this body where this crazy ego is running the show and making crazy choices and it's not fair. It's a terrible exile for her to be in and I'm not going to stand by and allow this to persist. I'm going to devote my life to acts which reinstate the pure princess's connection to her father. And that is, specifically, by doing mitzvahs as much as I can, by by learning Torah as much as I can, and especially by davening. And and and it's specifically the type of davening that has a real heartfelt cry of this princess yearning to go home. And in her yearning to go home, in a way she sort of is home. So, I would almost call this the healthy frustration, which leads to motivation. This is a little bit poetic, but I would call it homesickness. Homesickness. So, when the negative yucky gvurah is what's happening, is what we're experiencing, sometimes we treat that not by just blasting it with joy, but by judo flipping it and saying bring it sweeten the judgments, bring it back to its origin, and and turn it into homesickness over the plight of the soul being exiled into the embodied condition. And that will lead to motivation. Or that is motivation. Yeah. Proactive. Yeah. When when the Tanya says that it could be that way again right now. It can be that way again right now, which means that you can just take this neshama Every time into focus and let that rule your life and put everything else Every time you make a right choice, every time you do Hashem's will, that princess is home. She's teleported home at that moment. That's unbridled joy, too. Unbri- Yeah. Yeah, that's right. When the rabbi mentioned homesickness, I was thinking of love sickness and I think of this classic of Shecholah Sahava Ani. Yes. Yes. Yeah, love sickness. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, like Melech describes being sick with love for Hashem. Yes. And and when he's describing it, he's describing it's interesting. The the love sickness that Melech is describing is the love sickness of a tzaddik. Where he's so close to Hashem. His his ego is not running his life. Only his godly soul is running his life. He's making all the right choices. He's doing everything holy. And yet, because Hashem is infinite, you're never there. You're You're never totally there. So, it's It's high as you are, you're still yearning for closer and closer and closer connection. So, that's even a perfect tzaddik is never fully satisfied. So, how much more so? Um Well, if he was, if he did, right? That's the show of and the rabbi Yeah, if you would totally reach That's right. That's why Actually, Choleh is big gematria mem tes. I don't know if you heard this word before. Choleh is sick. What is ches is eight and vav is six, so up to 14. Lamed is 30, so we're up to 44 and hey is five, so now 30 30 49. 49, right. So, you know about Shaar Nun? About the 50 the 50 gates? Just Before you open it, just make sure it's not a terrorist, please. What What should I ask them to to check? Say the Shema. At any rate, uh someone's knocking at the back door right now. Choleh, which means sick is 49. Because there are 50 gates. Uh I'm saying "nun sha'arei binah". And uh It's the way back. Oh. The back door for the parking in the back. "Nun sha'arei binah", 50 gates. To the right. Actually, Moshe Rabbeinu was buried in Har Nevo. How do you Nevo is "nun bo". The place that Ari Zal explains, the place where "nun" 50 is in it. So upon his passing, when he actually left his body, he reached the 50th gate. But until he left his body, he was at the penultimate gate. He was at 49. And therefore, he felt "choleh". He felt love sick because he still wasn't there. Okay. But at any rate, if a tzaddik is feeling love sick, like he's he's not there yet, how much more so those of us who do have a healthy yetzer hara who does give us a lot of push back and does try to run our lives. So we we definitely have this sense of not yet having arrived where we need to arrive. At any rate, the point is that's the healthy negativity. That's the the the harsh gym coach who actually gets you to run an extra lap as opposed to the self-defeating pity party voice which tells you to give up and stay in bed. Yeah? I can't help but think of another possuk from "Yedid Nefesh". Yeah. "Hatzur or not as if all of not she all of ahava sahava". Right. Yes. Yes, and that's the yearning. Yeah. That's the yearning. And if the yearning is pushing you and motivating you, then even though it's not pleasant, cuz who wants to be yearning? I'd like rather just feel good. But if it is serving as motivation, we embrace it. And we use it. We use it. Reb Aaron, what was the other piece in the Tanya was the pity have pity on your divine soul? Have pity on your divine soul, which is very different than self-pity in in its conventional sense, right? It's almost like day and night. Right. So, there's pity it's interesting cuz you're right, he uses the word Rachmanus to pit to have pity. There's pity, "Oh, my life is so hard. Oh, uh I'm such a loser." That's like the abuse of pity. But, then there's real pity, legitimate pity, which is look at this beautiful godly soul, which is which is really a princess, and she's down here in a physical body. That is legitimately pitiful. Not pitiful in a like a in a in a condescending manner. In a in in a pity in the way uh of of of empathy of You know, you want to care about something? Care about this. Care about this. And then caring about it serves as a motivator. Again, it always comes down to motivation. And the other thing is the ain sof comes down and down and down. And how ever far this world goes, that's where the ain sof is and has to be. So, we should feel really bad that we've created a place Yeah. to suffer He speaks about it in chapter 45. That it's not just you, it's Hashem himself. Right, and that's called eliciting compassion on Hashem. Yeah, he doesn't spell it out here, but in chapter 45 he says you should feel compassion for Hashem. Okay. that when you are feeling depressed and sad and unmotivated, you're having pity on your animal soul, and when you're feeling that motivated Wow. frustration, you're having pity on your godly soul. Everyone hears this? I don't know. Say it again. That's the whole chapter I By the way, we did not finish the chapter. That's great. We didn't finish the chapter. That's a great one-liner. That's that's meme-able. I'll say I'll say it. When you're feeling depressed, you're having pity on your animal soul. When you're feeling healthy frustration, you're feeling pity for your godly soul. Ooh. That's it. That's it.