Text-Based Tanya Class—Week #30

so uh we're on paddock 19 good tests all right now we didn't plan this hashem planned it hashem plans everything everything is hashtag but today's hayem yam you know what hayem is means from day to day or today's the day it's a safer that the lobby should ever compiled of little thoughts on every single day of the calendar year so the hyena for today hof alef civen i'm just going to read it to you and then later on you're going to tell me the hashtag protest how you think it's connected to the tanya that we happen to be learning today which there's no way we planned this i mean we started at the beginning of the year right after the high holidays right after tuesday we started from the title page and today we're starting pedigrees chapter 19. so you tell me how this is connected our rabbi that means the altar be safe in chapter three of savior shall ban them tell me if this is correct those of you who have been here since the beginning of the class is the cognitive and emotional faculties of the soul derived from the ten spheres of hashem benefits and all of this pertains to the levels called nephesh which are invested in the body um however there's something higher than that indian hamasitis the fact that a jew is capable of giving up his life for god he says a jew he cannot and will not or he will not and he cannot allow himself to be separate from god zahu at the saints of that's not from the faculties as they are invested in the body but rather that's from a higher source that's from the essence of god shalom this is higher than the spheroids which begin with the faculty of kochma that's today's which also happens to be the hayem of my birthday because today happens to be my happy birthday yes thank you you should continue to learn see this in a way and this is this is something you may not know i'm informing you of something and i'm blessing you you should continue to learn to this in a way that allows other people to learn to this do you guys realize how much comments how many comments i get from people about this class because it's online and people are like wow that's such a high level class such high level interaction so i'm letting you guys know that also whatever it is that you need in your lives for you for your families materially and spiritually it should be fulfilled for you in the fullest way in the most obvious good way in a sweet way in a quick way with no guessing and no wandering and no doubts okay so let's jump into pedigreed tests remember context is everything we said in chapters 16 and 17. that if you want to become emotionally congruent with the behaviors of trader observance one way to gain that emotional alignment one way to get yourself emotionally matched up with the behaviors you're already committed to is to generate new emotions to actually create emotions through the process of meditation that was 16 and 17 right then in 18 we said well what about if i'm not able to do that or what if i'm doing it but it's i'm in the middle of the process and it's taking a while is there another method that i can use to create emotions and when we say emotions we mean obviously emotions for for god love of god or of god and he says yes there is in fact another method that you could use and remember i told you last week this method takes eight chapters to describe now we did one chapter we did chapter 18 last week do you remember what chapter 18 said yeah what did it say chapter 8 it's given to us bequeathed probably even more of an accurate term there's a difference between a matonna and a yorusha a a gift and a and a bequest this is an inheritance yeah we inherited from the obvious what did we inherit from the ovas love very good love of hashem obviously and this love of hashem is actually called ava misutters hidden love why is it called hidden because it's in there but it's not always active we would love to figure out how to activate it in fact that's what this whole discussion is about and then remember that interesting phenomenon that the altera mentions last week the phenomenon that we observed throughout history of irreligious jews who give up their lives for hashem and daniel pearl is you know an obvious example for for us in our time unfortunately there are millions of examples um but what was the point of that right why is he telling me that because i want to tell you why he's not telling me that right now the point is not to remind me how great uh jews are even though that's totally true and that's an important idea and don't judge a jew even if they're you're religious that's not the point here what's the point although that's a true statement but what's the point here it's not a logical phenomenon right because they're uneducated they're ignorant and yet they gave up their lives for god but again what's the point of telling me that here why do i want to know this information right now everyone has access to it this is i need to know this for practical purposes i'm trying to get some love and awe of god going here i'm going to meditate yeah like it says to do in 16 or 17 but in the meantime are there other ways to tap into love and all of god he says well in fact there is in fact we see that every jew even the uneducated jews even the irreligious jews have access to that intense love and awe of god at certain times oh great what when are those times uh when they're about to be tortured and killed by uh oppressive well thanks how's that gonna help me and that's what takes eight chapters what takes eight chapters is he's identifying a phenomenon where any jew and every jew can suddenly become intensely emotionally driven to serve hashem and he's trying to teach us how to access that intensity in quote unquote normal circumstances does everyone understand this point you remember last week and i told you that there are eight chapters here and it's so easy to get distracted and to start smelling the flowers on the side of the road and forget that we're on a journey so i just want everyone to remember the point here everyone understands the point what's the change over the point eight classes the ability to go in to actually extract something that's already there we're gonna extract something that's already there what and magnify it right and what is it that's already there love okay and and we we do know one way in which it's triggered is death you're a threat of right yeah in like a do or die situation right right and we would like to know if there are other ways of accessing that okay good okay so pedago tess we're going to explain now what it means that the soul of man is the candle of hashama the candle of hashem is the soul of man alex says this in mishla proverbs what does it mean that the nishama is compared to a candle to a flame she means israel the soul is like a flame yeah i know that's what it says that the nature of a flame is to flicker upward meet neisha because that's what the flames light naturally wants to do li potted mapsila it wants to separate itself from the wick vladovic he wants to go join the general fire the elemental fire which is under the orbit of the moon kamehameha like it says in its time you don't need to understand any of that all you need to know is that flame flickers because it's trying to go up everyone learned that when you're a little kid you held the half dollar candle right you can hold like this you can't hold it like this right so this is an explanation of why that happens because flame is is trying to rejoin the elemental fire that's under under the golgotha it's not important to understand the mechanics of this all that's important for the point here is to understand that is the nature of fire it's not a conscious choice that fire makes that is the nature of fire the af and although that will bring about the flame losing its identity because if it goes up it won't shine down here and if it goes up there and becomes subsumed in its source it also loses its distinct identity up there so either way the flame is losing its identity nevertheless that is what it naturally desires and by desire we mean that's its it that's its property that is it's that is a characteristic that is well you said the word essence yeah it's an essential property of flame that although it will lose its identity by doing so it's programmed so to speak to want to leave and go up okay so why are we learning this so too the person the soul which refers to the neshama but also the nephesh all the soul levels that are in the body after the the betiva the natural desire of the soul is what reported will it takes me a goof to separate from and to leave the body volatile and to cleave to its root and source which is what bashem hashem the life of our lives is even though by doing so it will lose its identity and there will not be no there will not be a trace left of its original identity nevertheless is that it says that that is its natural desire with shame a mushroom and this nature is actually a convenient term that we use the khodov or sheikh nastam vadas for anything that doesn't make sense anything that is a phenomenon we know that it happens but we don't understand why is referred to as teva the word tava nature means but mommy why is the sky blue oh because because it is right that's tava or if you know a little bit more you can say well because the angles of the light refracting through the atmosphere and then it bends the wavelength of the light and that registers on the rods and cones is blue why uh because so no matter how smart you are at a certain point you're gonna say because how because because that's just because because that's the way that it is so what does a soul want specifically an embodied soul what does an embodied soul want it wants to leave the body it wants to become subsumed within the source of all life even though to do so will mean losing its own separate selfhood why does it want that because that's its nature well nature means something we know that happens but it doesn't have a logical reason it's above logic that's just the way that it is so the point here that we're learning is the soul's most essential desire is to lose its separate selfhood and to become subsumed within the oneness that's what it wants why does it want that because that's what it wants and in fact it's illogical that it should want that because why should any entity seek its own annihilation now you're trying to make it logical we just said it's illogical why should any entity it make if you don't understand that this is illogical you're not going to appreciate the point here it is illogical that any entity's primary motive should be to annihilate itself that's illogical any entity at least its most basic mo should be self-preservation and what we're saying and by the way the animal soul is like that what do you think the animal soul is and everything in the world the funny thing about the godly soul it doesn't seek self-preservation it seeks the opposite of self-preservation it wants to be subsumed within the oneness why does it want that that's illogical yeah it is illogical that's just what it wants oh so now you want to call that selfish okay you're on a very high level well you like selflessness so for you selflessness is selfish it's like the what are the the the masochists say to the sadist hurt me what did the say to say to the masochist no you like it too much not gonna that's the real say this i'm not gonna do it okay so you're saying that the okay whatever listen don't get so fancy let's just keep it simple let's keep it simple the nature of backup the soul is compared to a flame why because it's hot because it burns no because the nature of a flame is to go up and the nature of the neshama is to go up and even though when the flame goes up it loses its identity so too it's a curious thing about the nishama it would rather lose its own identity and go up and rejoin its source so far so good no what's their mothers wrong themselves to the kids maybe that's your animal soul maybe that's your animal soul maybe that desires your animal soul and maybe that's the the other drive but the pure godly drive is to lose souls since itself all souls that belong when you're united with other souls you lose your selfhood the whole point of true ah is that there ceases to be division between one jew and another it's only an embodiment where we perceive division so if you really really want to go to your source and become one with hashem and one with all other jews there's no you anymore as a distinct you as you've known yourself you cease to be a separate consciousness yeah that is the and it's not the goal because it makes sense it's the goal because that is the nature of the nishama yeah okay fine does it change it or does it just detach but is there a detachment or does it change does what change what i don't know what you're saying seeks to attach itself to to to oneness above yeah does that seeking is that a change of its not a change that's its essence this is not a difficult concept at the very least at the very least take it as axiomatic so we can move on okay in our context in our discussion what we're saying is that the soul's mo is irrational doesn't have to be rational nature tava means something that is not governed by logic and that's why it's just because that's how it is and if you want to get precise and technical this drive that the soul has this irrational drive we can locate that drive in terms of sole faculties as the faculty of chahma which we discussed last week remember we were discussing last week very good he's going to mention it again the power of what of nothingness the power of self-surrender this is an underlying common principle about all holiness holiness is that which comes from the level krishna which is absolutely surrendered to the infinite which is within it and it does not constitute a separate entity that's why it's called the power of what or the x factor like we spoke about last week in other words the faculty within the soul that drives it to be surrendered to surrender its selfhood to surrender its identity and as we're saying last week that's considered higher than intellect proper intellectual faculties don't seek self-annihilation they seek to be engaged so beena as distinct from wants to understand the world as distinct from bina wants to leave the world and that is the opposite of the nations of the world or the clipper from which the nations of the world derive which is another way it's a very kabbalistic way of saying human nature which is to be self-perpetuating human nature is to survive self-perpetuation the most basic instinct of the organism is to preserve itself and this anomaly is that the neshama its most basic instinct is the opposite of preserving itself it wants to lose itself let's just finish this section right here that's why human nature is called poetically it's called death even though it's it's seeking life but it's really death why because enlivens and they die without kohma these are this is using scriptural turns of phrase to make a poetic point it's sort of ironic like dying in order to live ego death in order to become one with the eternal israel hashem and also the jewish people who like we were speaking about last week who are not living in a way where their will is surrendered to god they're not observant so they're not allowing themselves to surrender their selfhood to hashem so they're also called detached from life until they come to a point where their faith is tested and then all of a sudden that gets triggered that selflessness gets triggered and they'll even surrender their lives and even face painful torture in order to preserve the connection to hashem which is counter-intuitive please understand the mechanics here you understand we're equating the drama of the moment of kidash hashem of martyrdom to an underlying desire that's in the jewish soul at all times not only we're equating them we're saying that they're synonymous that capacity to give up everything well everything's a relative term everything everything that we know as embodied souls and as separate consciousnesses to give that all up in order to be one with the everything which gets triggered in the moment of martyrdom that's actually running in the background it's called the banafish that's present within every single neshama at all times the only question is how activated it is so as we mentioned last week we know one thing that activates it is a test of faith and we see unfortunately thousands maybe perhaps millions of cases throughout history of people who were able to to die for yiddish kite not because they were educated because they weren't educated but because of something that made it as if it was impossible for them to to preserve their lives and what is this something it's the kayak okay and the reason why these non-observant jews although they're able to give up everything at the last moment the reason they weren't able to live that way is simply because he says here that the was in an exiled state it was being covered up by their animal soul and their body and this is parallel to the golus the exile of the shrine of hashem's presence itself the shrine of hashem's presence is in golis and so to a microcosm in a jew the godly presence within you can be in gallus can be exiled and what does that mean it means although there is this innate power bequeathed to you to give up everything in order to remain attached to hashem that power doesn't always express itself in a revealed way which will actually dictate your behavioral choices so it's a potential in fact we keep making a big to-do about the word ma about the what or the nothing or the x factor kayak is also an important part of that means potential it's a potential and and it can very well re remain an unrealized potential [Music] what meaning unknown means nothingness means the ability to become a nothing it doesn't yeah it doesn't mean i'm going to cash it in i have the ability to become a nothing and in fact not only i have the ability to become nothing but he says the most essential drive of my neshama is to become a nothing now we understand becoming nothing means becoming one with the everything becoming on nothing is not a shmata becoming a nothing means cancelling your separate selfhood in order to become one with something absolutely greater and it is synonymous with the term bitter yes yeah yeah sorry i'm a little confused because qualcomm for what for what purpose do i want the strength for what okay so i'm here to learn foreign why so that my flame could get bigger and bigger and the more everybody does you're attributing logic to a to an allegory about illogic no and the more everybody does that the greater the plane gets when the light is so light no no no you're mixing metaphors because you're you're attributing logic to a metaphor about illogic let me let me restate it like this obviously we are complex we know we're complex we started with the premise that we have two souls which are vying for different agendas but right now in this immediate context what we're saying is that there is a not only a part of you but the most basic essence of who you are even though it can be very covered up and unexpressed is to leave behind this world the world your body your animal soul your ego your memories your experience your life story to leave that so you're bringing why is the sky blue this is just the nature and i told you before if you're gonna get distracted at every twist and turn and that's by the way the mistake that i made for years when i learned these eight chapters and i could never follow the point yeah you got to keep driving you got to keep driving so what does that mean your bean is getting in the way yeah which is totally understandable but no pun intended no pun intended it's totally understandable that bina right right right exactly so right now for today at least we're going to come from a perspective where there's no point it's not it's not about an agenda it's not about well what will happen what do you mean that's not why the soul wants to become one with hashem it's not to accomplish an agenda it's because that's its nature which is why i didn't want to leave in the first place which is why i didn't want to leave why what didn't want to leave it's home in the first place correct yeah yeah yeah where does karate come come into play like if every it's it's an essence it's a part of each and every person you're asking cautious questions okay so there are levels of the soul which can become cut off but the arizona explains that the the essence of the soul never gets cut off yeah okay but let's let's continue here let's keep plowing s now we're going to go back to a term from last week this drive that we're equating to is the source for that emotion that we called last week ava mesut this capacity for self-surrender this irrational drive for self-surrender is synonymous with the term we learned last week ava mesut is hidden love or latent love because in the case of somebody who's not living a jewish life a jew who's not living a jewish life they still have that avo messitis it's just not revealed obviously they're not living jewishly but they still have that love it's just covered over that in fact that covering of that latent love is called the spirit of folly that our sages refer to when they say nobody sins without a spirit of folly entering them is a rationalization that i can do something that's inconsistent with my with my essence meaning i can choose selfhood over surrender and i'll be okay not only i'll be okay it'll be good for me now the reality is when we act in a way that is inconsistent with our essence it causes dis-ease disease spiritual disease which becomes physical disease and it's an absolute affront to our own nature you can't be healthy when you're living inconsistent with your nature but the rationalization kicks in or the beena and looks at the world and looks at things from uh from an embodied perspective and says it'll be okay it'll be okay if i pursue my own agenda even if it's inconsis inconsistent with what hashem wants from it okay that's called the rushdos so basically the rush dos is the rationalization that i don't have to surrender myself to hashem and it'll be okay i'll be fine okay so bina is not wrong but let's just say like this when you need to break through the ruach dos the tool that will break through it is because you could keep being smart can be a curse when you need to break through the the rationalization you need the here doesn't mean intellect it means actually what the simple jews are very connected to like the basham that love the simple jews the people they can't explain to you why they do it they just do it the simple jews that's the that's the simplicity so when we need to break through the rue we need that to come out and the is this call don't call it irrational because it sounds like a put down but call it supra rational that's the fancy philosophical term it transcends rationality and you can't argue with it because it won't engage in intellectual debate because it's not an intellectual faculty it is yes the is hashema which is ultimately why we cannot find the answers and it's not the lack thereof that's an impediment to our surrender to hashem it's not like people call me all day long can you speak to my friend my brother my brother-in-law my sister my mother and convince them to i can't convince anybody anything from a rational point of view so here's okay that's an interesting conversation for another context but right now what we're focusing on is we're aware of a phenomenon where to state it in the extreme case which the altitude states it we're aware of a phenomenon whereby completely irreligious jews become super jews for a moment and we're trying to understand what the mechanics of that phenomenon are to this at this point we understand that it's a triggering of ava meseteras we understand that the reason it's not triggered before that point is because the ruach dos is covering it we're still understanding the phenomena now the goal is how we can replicate that phenomenon for ourselves as a tool in our evader sasha remember don't lose don't lose the threat here that's the point yeah because it transcends intellect it's not intellect it's faith faith is not the opposite of of of intellect faith is when intellect has already if faith intellect the basement of faith is the ceiling of intellect where you can no longer understand not because you're being lazy and you're saying i trust you no it's fundamentally incomprehensible you get to a point where it just cannot be understood by a mortal mind and then you have a muna okay people don't change their lives because of a friendly conversation like everybody here let me tell you something if you're here in this class more than once that means you're in a place in your life where you want to hear this information anyone who comes here and they're they're like convince me i promise you i'm not going to convince you of anything you're not going to come back okay so there's no convincing we only convince the convinced so when someone's unconvinced how do you break through it love oh wow that's it you can't talk them through it that's right that's right that's what i say a chicken soup a hug that's it a piece of cocoa but don't talk it'll just make the person more entrenched we're singing yeah the altitude of a segment right yeah wow i don't know love is the bridge between all things really that by definition that's a hyena actually so love is the bridge between everything okay and anyway okay let's continue i want to continue i'm going to continue okay um where do we get up to cool the it goes right up to the the gullis means how the person's own innate godliness is sort of divorced from their own day-to-day consciousness that can affect all levels all the way up to bina and including bina but not the can't touch me remains transcendent and unaffected by this exiled state what you can say is that it's in a slumber-like state the aina and therefore it's not affecting the person calls manchester united because they're actively immersing their bino and das in worldly pleasures so the fact that the in the background remains true to hashem is not affecting them on a conscious level ah however sheboygan is when they will be put in a god forbid when they'll be put in a situation where they are given a life or death choice connect or retain your connection to yiddish kite or die sheila milam hadas which is completely above rationality in other words if you'd stand out in front of the shul and you asked this guy we need a tenth for a minion are you interested he'd say nah but then he turns the corner and all of a sudden god forbid you know the spanish inquisition jumps out all of a sudden he becomes super jew so what happens this capacity which triggers gets triggered is above das the noga ada this intense situation is able to pierce through all the rational levels and get to the essential level of kohma azahi mishinosa then the is awakened from its slumber up is and does its thing it's triggered to be activated with the power of hashem which is invested in it uh commission hashem it's interesting there's a posik from tillam it's saying hashem should wake up like a sleeping person but here we're saying the hashem within you will wake up like it was a a sleeping person but and all of a sudden this jew who wasn't observant will have the power to stand up to the test in a way that's completely incomprehensible but that's the whole point it's completely incomprehensible least gabber clippers hashem all of a sudden he'll be able to overpower all the negativity and all the lusts of this world whether permissible or forbidden that he became habituated to and all of a sudden he will despise all those he'll say no that's not what i want it's not what i want and he'll be able to choose hashem as his lot and as his destiny lim silly now and he will he will choose martyrdom he'll give up his life for hashem so we're explaining the mechanics of that phenomenon that your whole life your ava misutters which is your hakuma which is your kayak was in a state of slumber because the dos was covering everything on a conscious level and then one day boom this this very obvious choice was presented where you could no longer rationalize you could no longer believe your own propaganda because at this point the choice was very obvious see until then what do you fool yourself you say i'm not separating myself from hashem i can touch the stove and it won't burn me watch and you fool yourself but then all of a sudden jarringly it just hits you this nissanian where it's so clear what you're being asked to do choose god or don't choose god and then when it's when it's phrased that way when it's formulated that way the rationalization capacities can't catch up quickly enough and and the just bursts out and overtakes the person's conscious mind and decision making and all of a sudden they become intellectually emotionally and behaviorally aligned with surrendering their selfhood to god even though they were not capable of doing that their entire life yeah that's the whole point that's the whole point we're only interested in this phenomenon in this context i mean there are other contexts where it's interesting to learn about for instance to learn about how to respect every jew even if they're not outwardly observant right that's another context that's not our point here our only purpose right now of learning this is that we should figure out and we're not going to figure out we're going to be taught how to also tap into that super jew explosion that we know can be triggered now right now we only know one thing that triggers it and saw it no no no no no no meditation does not trigger this meditation creates a whole different type of love this love the ava misuteres gets triggered by an asylum and ammona becomes triggered by spanish inquisition then the sword isn't sharp enough i don't know what to tell you but how do you take yourself but here's here's the thing i'm there's a little bit of a spoiler we're not going i see trust me i've been down this road before so just trust me when i tell you which paths not to wander down we're not gonna figure out how to produce panic and let's just finish this chapter at the end of the chapter as well as the end of next chapter and the chapter after that and chapter after that you will still not know how to use this i already told you there's no i was transparent with you last week there's eight chapters of very deep stuff that's you have to follow all that information and the last two of the eight chapters it will explain to you how to apply it i feel like you should skip to those two i told you before that the last time we learned tanya i did these eight chapters in one class and they did a super synopsis and i just went through in one hour okay but we're not skipping okay but listen there's so many interesting things to discuss at this point but i want to stay focused and i want to try to finish the chapter because we have like five minutes here okay we understand now the phenomenon of how the intense surrender to hashem can be dormant for a person's entire life and then suddenly be activated in an intense in a particular type of intense situation through a specific kind of challenge where they say renounce the god of israel or we will execute you okay now let's continue here clip is even though his whole life the clipper dominated him again i i mentioned this last week when i mentioned daniel pearl which to me is the most vivid illustration of this i'm not saying this to besmirch him god forbid he was intermarried okay so clearly jewish identity in the traditional sense wasn't whatever i don't want to i want to be very careful i'm speaking the point is well he didn't marry a jew and yet in a moment of a particular type of intense test all that came out was his incredible superhuman irrational devotion to his jewishness that's what the al qarab is describing here so even though their whole life the negativity prevailed over them and i'm not going to translate it as wicked because we already know it doesn't really mean wicked but the reshoyim are under the domain of their heart they don't run their heart their heart runs them meaning to say they do what they want to do nevertheless when they're put in a place god forbid where they're being tested regarding the oneness of god which is the foundation of our faith that triggers the of the godly soul shabbat sharing in which infinity is invested and at that moment hashem all of the negativity becomes dispersed and dispelled and cancelled before hashem like it says all the nations are like nothing before him all of your enemies hashem will disperse let's see if it says that the mountains meaning here metaphors for ego will melt like wax will melt like wax meaning to say all of the stuff that was so important in his life until that moment suddenly becomes irrelevant and all he cares about is retaining his oneness with hashem even though it means losing everything else this power of the light of god which is in the banafish is powerful enough that goddess valid to dispel and to displace the negativity yigo afilo bellavush of so that it won't even be able to take hold of his garments remember chapter four what garments are chapter four garments what are garments thought speech and action in other words maybe they just want me to say something but i don't believe it maybe i just have to pay lip service to their idol but i'll know in my heart i don't believe it or like the story with connor and her seven sons i'll put the ring down you'll pick up the ring you won't really be bowing to the idol it'll just look like you're bowing to the idol when the gets activated how thoroughly does it overtake the person what we're saying is it overtakes not only the intellect not only the emotions but even the garments which are the behaviors so that at that moment it becomes an impossibility to touch this idolatry even on a perfunctory external level call it inspiration it's it's an intense intense intense inspiration so wha nobody changes their lives from it that's the whole point of it nobody changes their life from it it's a momentary intense feeling that leaves as quickly as it comes on which is by the way not the point here but why this is a limited tool of course so the fact that we were told in 16 to 17 to meditate we're not going to be able to stop doing that because the only way to create real staying power is through meditation but if you need a quick fix this is a quick fix this is the this is the adrenaline shot if that person somehow survives and it does not die very probably yeah he doesn't say the epilogue but yeah there could be the guy who's mice or nephesh and then for some reason i don't know the the new snaps and he's able to run away from the like make sure they know his neck turned to marble right okay for maisha it wasn't like uh it was a special moment that all of a sudden he became uh devoted to hashem he was always devoted to hashem but let's say there was a guy he wasn't religious before his moment of mercedes never and not necessarily remain religious after at that moment at that moment he clarity learning how to tap into it but had i already said that we're using it as a tool but we have to understand the limitations of the tool but you can't tap and tap and tap and tap until well i i don't want to give away everything but basically what you're saying is correct that the nature of this tool is you got to keep reloading it because it it doesn't it doesn't last that much okay at any rate it's it's another tool the altar is giving us many tools for our spiritual toolkit this is one tool let's finish the chapter all right so this power is so powerful that it overtakes him even down to the behavioral level which means not just intellect and not just emotion but even behavior the hainu lami bin assad lim says he will be able to give up his life even to resist just doing an action that negates the oneness of god even if it was only an action and he didn't really believe it and he knew he was only doing it to save his life he would have the power to resist that and not give in could go english level for instance bowing to the idol i've seen a mayman but cloudly believer even though he in his heart he doesn't believe in it at all but something will happen and the shebang will overtake his entire being and he will not be able to bring himself to commit that act even though he knows it's only to save his life and he doesn't really mean it but that's rationalization and at this moment all the rationalizations go out the window that's the beauty of this moment at this moment you lose the capacity to rationalize and i've told you before what does it mean to rationalize rational lies the lies that you tell your being on your dust that sounds so convincing the comes in and blows it all out of the water the also it will when this happens you won't be able to say anything that you don't really believe against hashem ashamed people ebay shaving even though you don't mean it in your heart you know that you believe in one hashem but maybe i could just say it to save my life nope won't let me very important we've got like a few lines here left but this is a very important point this this emotion that we're describing is called the fear that is contained within the love remember we asked in the previous chapter we asked this we wanted to understand the ava messitis better and also how to understand how fear is included in that love because to serve hashem you need gas and breaks you need the gas to make you go toward a chamber you need the brakes to stop yourself from going towards stuff that you shouldn't go to so you need the start and the stop you need the the love and the awe in other words a person could say i'll do everything for hashem but i won't be able to stop myself from doing the things he doesn't want so i'll serve hashem and i'll serve idols that's called love without awe you need the awe to stop you from serving the idols or from doing anything hashem doesn't want so he says the awe is included in the love that when you love someone so much your greatest fear is losing that connection so it's primarily love but it's a love which contains within it aw the fear of losing the connection so he says this is just aramaic for all that's included in love is the natural love that we're talking about that's hidden in every jewish heart to cleave to hashem because of this love he he's terrified to touch even the fringe of idol worship because he understands the touch even the fringe the fringe means even a behavior without an emotion that's the fringe he means here he's terrified to touch even the fringe of a vedas i mean to even engage in a perfunctory action that he doesn't believe in he will not touch it he's terrified of it why because he loves hashem so much he wouldn't want to do anything that would god forbid separate him from hashem which we know idol worship is against the belief in one god you can't say i believe in one hashem and aveda's other just doesn't go together not even to touch the outer garments which are speech and action beliamona belevclaw without any belief in it he will not do it he will not allow himself to do it it's as if there's something driving him that's preventing him from doing it and what is that something we've identified it as the s unleashes the yerusha the bequest from our from our patriarchs which is the obvious terrorist the hidden love and even if your whole life it was in dormancy when there's this clear black and white choice between choose god or choose self-perpetuation when that choice becomes clear the rationalization is all blown out of the water and all of a sudden the jew has this superhuman capacity to choose god now again i just want to reiterate i'll take a couple questions we'll wrap up we do not have any clue how to activate this or to use this on a practical level so if you're going to ask me how this is practical you need to come to a few more weeks yeah it's as if okay it's a wonderful question it's as if at that moment becomes almost irrelevant because the drive to do what hashem wants and to retain the connection to hashem at all costs becomes so dominant it's not even a choice it's an instinct and you didn't even activate it it just is you it's your essence because it's easy comedy to go it's so so strong it is a reflex it's a divine reflex such a yeah yeah because at the moment that i realize my identity is when i surrender my that's the irony at the moment i realize my true identity is the moment i surrender my identity that is and by the way all truth is paradox so if you don't come to the paradox you haven't gotten to the essence of the lesson that that's a hundred percent correct and does everyone understand how this connects to today's hiya meme for khaf alof sivan remember what it said in the hayem of allah sivan it says that there are the uh soul faculties which come from the sphere ice but then there's a capacity that a jew has which is even higher than the spheres it's connected to the essence of hashem and that is the capacity that will not allow the jew to give up his connection to hashem so that that today's and that's what we learned today and we didn't plan that hashem planned that