Text-Based Tanya Class—Week #22

okay um what chapter are we on 13. very good what happened in chapter 12 what did we introduce in chapter 12 vainly very good mazel tov by the way thank you okay yes in chapter 12 we introduced the banany and we're going to continue to discuss the betany the banini after all is the main character of this book say for shall being in him so uh let's without further ado let's just get into chapter 13. pettigrew gimmel um something that we mentioned in chapter one way back in chapter one when we were throwing out these terms sadiq rashubini without even really knowing yet what they meant we mentioned the gemara that says it is a judge bane and him have two judges the it's a horror and the yetzer it's a tavi it's a hutter you ever seen in the cartoons on the donald duck will have the little devil on the shoulder and the little angel on the shoulder okay yes exactly like it says he stands on the right of the pauper to save him from those who would condemn his soul it doesn't say that he has two rulers it says he has two judges what's the difference between a shayfit and the maishal a judge and a ruler a ruler and a judge philippe because if he would have two rulers even if that one even if one of the rulers only only got to rule for a brief second nikra russia based assault that he would be on russia for that moment even if it's a moment when he allowed the yetzahara to be a ruler so the itsahara is not a ruler in the case of the banini ella he's just a judge who says his opinion like a panel of judges like a supreme court where you do have a dissenting opinion so he's not the it's in the beginning he's not a martial not even for a second if he would be a martial if he would be able to take over and take the wheel and be the one directing the expression of the three garments of the soul any one of those garments for however brief a moment if that were to happen he wouldn't be obeying me this person would not be obeyed he'd be a russia however that's not what happens that's not what happens the aids of heartache does not martial it's not leading controlling carrying anything out no oh so he doesn't have a it's harder i didn't say that either then he would be at sadiq he has a it's a harder but its function rather than being a martial is that of a shay fit a dear zagar someone who says his opinion so everyone's entitled to their opinion and that's really the condition of the badani he has a yetzahara that is giving its opinion he's like a keyboard warrior you know the people online who like to give shocking uh hot takes on every issue trying to troll you that's basically the it's a harder and a banana he likes to say his shocking uh ridiculous ideas and you can't block them it's like shrugged off yeah you just feel okay that's him again very cute yeah all right yeah you can't block him you can't make him if you could block him you'd be a toddick but uh no you're gonna see his ridiculous comments and uh you just gotta shrug him off and not let him uh actually take control even for a second okay so the alternative says here so the the the the yetzahara in the bani never gets a chance to be emotional he never gets the chance to rule he only gets to say his daya we have a even though the yatahota is vociferously stating his opinion let him say his opinion let him say it is freedom of speech say it as loud as you want man but that's just your opinion so he doesn't have to be the one who gets his way because there's another judge who's the other judge it's a tithe who's going to come and say but i've also got an opinion oh so now we got a what do you call it stalemate the it's a hutter's got an opinion it's the term's got an opinion what are we going to do what are we going to do you know about the guy first night after the choppa he says you know what tomorrow morning is my first day as a married man my new life i'm going to get up at 5 a.m and go to kylo i'm not going to sleep in i'm going to get up at 5am and go to kyla that's what he said he's going to do he set the alarm for 5 a.m and he woke up at 5 a.m and he says you know what he heard a voice that said go back to bed shove a block let's go back to bed he says oh i know you you're so hard to get out here and he was about to get out of bed and uh then he heard another voice saying come on start your new life shovel broncos is perfect time to get up at 5 00 a.m is that i know you you're the yates of taif i'm going to listen to you but then he heard that first voice come back and it said hold on a second you're going to disturb your wife come on you're you're causing damage you're like a king you got to sleep in a little it's okay you'll wake up before you from krishna he's like oh that sounds very reasonable hold on i think this is the it's harder and then another voice came and he said come on you got to get up and uh however you start your new life this is how it's going to be for forever he says yeah that's the age of type and anyways he said they were they were going back and forth back and forth bangladesh it's a toy if it's a hearty it's a type and each one would say such a good argument the other one would have a counter argument and they were arguing back and forth i want to tell you though in the end you know who won yates to tave one it took him five hours but he won in the end it took him five hours but he won in the end it's a tight one by 10 am the eights are type one okay so [Laughter] the yate zahara is a shayfit he says his opinion the it's a shaykh he says his opinion okay we have a stomach with sorry you have to reconcile between the two and then the the ruling is going to be according to the tiebreaker the evil inclination says his opinion in the left ventricle of the heart and then from the left ventricle of the heart that thought goes up to the brain to think about it um immediately as soon as it gets there the second judge disputes it who's the second judge that's the godly soul which is in his brain a mispassion like we learned in chapter nine that the place the location of the yeti is both the brain but also then it's like uh colony is the right ventricle of the heart so now you have the yatahata coming up from the left ventricular heart going up to the brain to try to be mahaha in its in its impulse and then you have the yetzer type countering from the brain and going down to the right ventricle of the heart and we're in a stalemate and what are we going to do well the final ruling will be like the tiebreaker who who's that yeah he's got his favorites so yeah you're always taking his side yes that's true a college barco is going to take the side of the yetzer toive so when we need to have a tie breaker very conveniently barak hashem now if you don't put up any resistance so then the tiebreaker doesn't help but if you're stuck in a stalemate the tiebreaker is going to come break the tie yes as opposed to oh you're asking is this telling us what to do or is it just describing us okay into this okay yes it's correct basically what we said last week the condition that we described last week we are now describing the inner mechanics of what is occurring because we said sort of in a very general way that the last week in chapter 12 that the banemy is never going to listen to the it's a harder okay but that's the end result what what's behind the scenes so now we're describing the behind the scenes behind the scenes there's one sheif it says his idea or his opinion another shiva says his opinion and then hashem comes in as the tiebreaker between them yeah exactly hashem doesn't even have a chance to come and break the tide and give it a tie breaking situation never has good reasons when you resist he can only come in and break up a tie if you roll over if you roll over and you just go and do whatever the atahara wants hashem doesn't what can he do there you have free choice when it's a tie a tie doesn't mean objectively that they both have equally valid arguments a tie means where you are giving push back to the eight sahara yatahata comes to you and says do this and you say okay well then hashem's not getting involved he gave you free choice okay but let's say the eta comes to you and says hey i got an idea and you counted that from your yitzyatov and say no oh well now we're in a deadlock what are we going to do so then hashem comes in and breaks the tie by saying let's go with the it's a tafe you have to create the stalemate by resisting the yetzahara if you don't resist the it's a harder there's no tie to break well once you resist it well no no that's the whole point he's making on your own on your own you would not be able to resolve this situation you'd be stuck forever it's because hashems are going to come in and give a boost to the yetzertov that the situation will get resolved favorably but only once you resist it correct that's right you you too you take the first step and hashem will have your back right is that always the case hashem always yes yes yes now can i say that the mechanics that are described here about the banini would also apply to the russia when the russia chooses to fight the fight the only thing is that russia doesn't always fight the fight so hashem can't come in and take your side if you haven't yourself taken aside well if the russia came in and decided to take the side of the sahara does hashem no you have a free choice what no if you if you're gonna change it it's only there if you have to make a decision between the two when you need when you're but once you're leaning already to that side he doesn't come in to try and destroy you no you have free choice okay so you're asking are we able to finish this and resolve this on our own and listen what the altar says he quotes the gemara here um if hashem wouldn't come to his assistance the person's assistance and yahuwah he would not be able to overcome the azer hara really yeah if you would not have divine assistance you would never be able to overcome the temptation hashem created the eight zahara so well he designed it to be so effective at what it does that it is insurmountably um resistant you cannot you cannot overcome it on your own on your own underline the words on your own that's not overcoming it the first step isn't overcoming it you cannot win this on your own let me say it like this there is no secular humanistic model of tanya with all of tanya's impulse control and what people could try to say oh this is cbt and all of that is an inherently spiritual and theistic foundation of the entire model which is that ultimately your impulse control only is favorably resolving the the the conflict because of a godly assistance so you can only get it so far you can't finish the job on your own okay this is not just uh you can do this you've got it just say no just resist yeah i would like to do that but my human power on its own is insufficient to overcome my own yatsuhara i need hashem well so now you want to say and i like that it's very jewish to say well then how can we blame anyone for any sin because really it's hashem he should have stepped in when one little kid is smacking another little kid where's the where's the morrow where's the mommy where's the the tattoo where's the adult to come break it up right so and i like that it's very jewish to hold hashem accountable but i want to answer and say you know what if you resist hashem will step in it's where you didn't resist and then what do you want hashem to do so look on one hand we cannot overcome the itsahara on our own there's zero chance of doing it on our own there's no secular humanistic parallel model for this we can't do it on our own on the other hand hashem quote unquote can't be the mahri or the tiebreaker unless you give them a tie to work with which means that you resist so we're sort of dependent on each other in this situation we've got to resist then hashem's got to come in and make the difference push us over the edge but what does it mean when the gemara says if not for hashem's assistance we would never be able to overcome the yatzahara this is what it means yeah [Music] yeah so the question is but we do resist what does it mean to resist and how much do we have to resist in order for hashem to step in these are the questions that are on the table right now or how about i change the question to how often do you have to resist because i think that's a more helpful way of phrasing it [Music] well what i was what i was what i had in mind is this i may be able to resist and overcome in this moment but what happens if the same exact temptation persistently returns and after the tenth time i just get worn down and i tell the telemarketer fine whatever okay right because i'm just exhausted so what am i going to argue later but i told him no ten times or i told him no nine times in the tenth time i just didn't have kayak left so you're saying sometimes we resist and it doesn't work not really true what happens is we we we stop resisting we get tired of it and one of the things you have to realize about the banemy is that he's committed to this grind the bane is going to engage you think that the mainly resists one time in the morning and then it's like oh now now it's smooth sailing until tomorrow we said yesterday the only time it's smooth sailing is in the middle of his davening and then immediately after he finishes davening he's being beset by all this internal conflict and it doesn't mean once it doesn't mean twice it could mean every single second and all you have to do is let your guard down once and you no longer obey the knee so you ask how much does he resist my answer is how often and the answer is every time a hundred percent of the time yeah well that's the intensity of the banony is the is the constancy of it yes yes okay now let's talk a little bit more specifically about the form that this divine assistance comes in this presence of god which breaks the tie is it like a beam of light shines down and all of a sudden yeah okay so he explains what it is and the divine assistants it is the divine emanation that shines godly light onto the godly soul of to give it a one up to give it an edge over the foolishness of the foolish like the advantage of light over dark as mentioned above remember last week we spoke about our metaphor of light and dark that the way in which light replaces darkness is automatic the fact that the yetzer toyov and the nephesholoquis are able to displace the foolishness of the yetzahara and afghabamas in the manner in which they do is can only be attributed to this divine property endowed within them in other words the yetzertov is not just doing god's work it's also been endowed with a certain godly property which is what we call the ha'ara of which is mayor which gives it this special advantage of light over dark what we mean to say is the way that we'll call it the other the spiritual light functions is if it has different properties it functions differently than the the spiritual the spiritual darkness in other words it's not really an even fight it's not like two equal and opposite forces opposing each other the yetzer toy functions in a way completely differently than the yzahara functions just as light functions completely differently than darkness functions and the upshot of that let's go with the muscle the upshot of the difference between how light functions than how darkness functions is or at least one practical outcome of that is how the manner in which light automatically replaces darkness it's not an even fight they're not really mirror images of each other that are engaged or embroiled with each other the nature of the nephesholocus is that it it it's how do i how do i put this it's not just okay when the two are fighting you have two uh two boxers who are boxing each other and they're totally equally matched but then you know the fix is in because the uh the guy who owns the venue he likes one fighter more than the other one so when uh when there's about to be a tie as in inevitably there's going to be a tie because it totally evenly matched so then the the the owner of the of caesar's palace comes in and smashes a folding chair over one guy's back that's a little wwf action there no that's not what happens that's not correct way to envision it think about it like this the eights and the eights are fundamentally different in the way that they function so that when they do square off against each other there's something inherently different about the azertov which gives it a fundamental um advantage over the yetzahara which is best likened to the way that light deals with darkness it's not like you have like where i was talking about last week that uh you know you have uh i gave you the hvac muscle you have a bunch of hot air in the room you need to replace it with cold air so you got to move out the hot air to move in the cold air remember i was talking about this last week about air conditioning yeah all right but when you have light it's not like oh you got to get move out the darkness so you can move in the light that's not how it works once you move in the light the darkness is gone now as we mentioned a few minutes ago you may have to do that repeatedly but at least in the moment that's the nature of how light functions and that's the best way albeit metaphorically to describe the inherent advantage that hashem is giving the yetzer taif that once the itataiv asserts itself it automatically displaces the itsahara at least for that moment to rematch it's a rematch so you won that one now there's another one so we're always being challenged yeah the point is not to be free of the challenge because you're going to be challenged and re-challenged the point is to know that at any given moment when you are being challenged you have to know that it's not a fair fight in a good way in a good way it's not a fair fight in a good way that if you resist with your yates or toyota against sahara yates has an inherent advantage over the yetzahara well on a very simple level he's just talking about being aware just being conscious of these two voices i mean a lot of early tanya is just about identifying who's talking to me you know we we tend to our in our pre-tanya condition assume that all internal voices are coming from the same place and when you start learning a little bit of tanya even these early chapters one thing that becomes very clear is not every internal voice that sounds like my voice and uses my own logic against me for me or against me defending who it is not every voice that's going on inside my head is coming from the same place and has the same agenda so a big part of this is just being aware so how do we identify well there's some some open and shut cases are pretty black and white so the voice that comes and tells you to go do an evada i i don't have to like hey let's go look into that maybe that's the it's a hudder no that was the it's a harder like that's pretty obvious then there are more like expert level uh pro tips because sometimes yeah like the hayemkhov gimmel sivan talks about sometimes the next bahamas will dress up like a husset and tell you to do mitzvahs because he knows if they'll tell you to do an evade or you won't listen so i'll tell you to do mitzvahs but they'll tell you the mitzvahs that are not essential to your purpose in life in order to get you off the track but that that's that's expert level let's not get into that right now haram user yeah operate for the b then the rest of us are probably about the toolbox i mean is it the same system for us the way it operates is the same for everybody that that's not different i mentioned that earlier i'll say it again these mechanics are not unique to the banony what's unique about the banony is that he exercises it flawlessly but when when anybody makes the right choice these this is what happens okay so he immediately displaces the the spiritual darkness with spiritual light however since the negativity in the left ventricle of the heart is still in its full strength it hasn't gotten weakened over the years it's still vibrant still very robust and it still desires all types of physical worldly pleasure valencia's baltimore at lagabia tavala needs it hasn't become nullified it hasn't been dislodged whatsoever the only thing is it doesn't have any power to spread itself out into the limbs meaning on an emotional level is very active and very vocal it just doesn't get to carry out its will into actual behaviors because hashem is taking the side is standing behind the the pauper the popper is the nephili kiss and assisting him therefore this persona is labeled as russia with a khafa demyan like a russia he's not a russia he's a banany but he's like a russia in as much as his internal struggle is identical to that of the russia the outcome is different than the russia's outcome but the internal struggle is the same commandment remember in chapter one very beginning first few lines what do you do the whole world tells you you're a tadic saying no i'm not a tadk you should be in your eyes like a russia he says yeah like russia valet roshamash not literally a russia like russia so that one little letter that one little letter makes a huge difference now we've answered one of the big early questions in tanya remember in the very beginning of tanya we said hold on a second the mother says if everyone tells you that sadik say no i'm not a tadic i should think of myself in my own eyes as a russia so he says it doesn't mean as russia think of yourself that you are a russia it means similar to russia in what respect internally i've got the same i've got the same impulses as a russia and and actu and furthermore like he says here i shouldn't fool myself to think that those impulses have waned you let me ask you a question because the baini has had flawless behavior for a year for 10 years for 50 years you think that makes his animal soul weaker no not at all he still care russia internally he's still grappling with the same stuff that the russia grapples with he just it's just a momentary thought that he manages so much that's nice that's all but that's what grappling means that's a big fight let's not minimize it let's let's let's not uh but it's not a fight i thought it's a huge fight it's a huge struggle it's just a momentary thought that he manages to immediately push away the momentary thought that comes every moment [Laughter] this yeah it is exhausting it can be exhausting yeah it can be exhausting yeah who has to surrender to a higher power they say an addict is never not an addict even when they stop using it's every single day right so it's a very it's a very good comparison in many ways maybe not 100 consistent but in a lot of ways and one of the things you're saying is you know the higher power thing like we were just saying the fact that i'm able to make the right choices consistently and maintain status as a bane in e not because i'm so strong no and it's not because my disease is less strong no and he had to take the first step and he had to take the first step right right and then hashem comes in and does what we cannot do for ourselves yeah absolutely absolutely but it's very important this idea that you know you you you mentioned recovery as a muscle i've heard guys say while i'm sitting here in the meeting getting sober my disease is out in the parking lot doing push-ups right so i i heard a guy once say that you know what you know what uh sobriety is it's like you turn a stereo to full blast and then you unplug it and then you come back a year later and plug it back in it's right back to full blast so don't think that for you know because you you have recovery for a year for 10 years for whatever it is oh so the problem went away no that's called being atsadik halawa that would be beautiful but that's not what happened what happened is you are doing the things you need to do to be able to consistently make the choices that you can make and then hashem comes in and makes it successful but and without hashem it's impossible but it's that partnership i have to make the right choices if i don't consistently do the things that i have to do you know the even with all of hashem's help this whole thing falls apart so yeah well okay so for practical purposes here we're going to use the terms yetzertov and nephesholocus synonymously and we're going to use the terms hitsahara and afghabama synonymously in other words you can speak about yatsuhara and yetzertov you can speak about nephesh obama's nephew but for practical purposes here if you want to be more technical they're not synonymous but for practical purposes here they're and it's synonymous the animal soul is to sit by these struggles okay no it's here here let me correct you you're thinking your nephesh obama's isn't being attacked or tempted you who's you that's a whole other discussion that's a whole lot of other discussion you have a nephesh obamas and an official accused and they're fighting over you who are you let's just say in the terms that we're already familiar with chapter nine you're the small city okay so it's not that you are one king or the other it's that the two kings are fighting over you behavioral control superiority means behavioral control so that saddik that we learn about in chapter 10 he also has two kings but the king who normally ruins your life has either disappeared he retired he's gone or he actually became best friends with the good king and carries out his agenda overwhelmed the darkness of the the bad king so in the case of the tsadik the isr the advantage of the light of the dark has even exerted itself on the emotional and cognitive levels where he only has holy emotions and holy thought processes and the in the case of the baneny that advantage has only exerted itself as far as behavior yeah sure what the function of the topic is we're not so uh it's not so pertinent to our discussion yeah i don't know i don't know it's safer shall benin we don't really find out the point of being inside this book to save us that's why no i don't know this book doesn't tell me the purpose of tadhikyu the book only mentions atsadik to give me a range just for context purposes actually i shouldn't say that let me correct myself there's one place where it clearly and now i'm thinking of a second place uh where it tells me the role of azadek in my life first place is in pedic base about the connection to the tsadik and then also in the next chapter in chapter 14 and pedigreed it tells me that if i do everything i'm supposed to do i could become spiritually impregnated with the ruach of azadek and it would yeah okay yeah they're here to help us sure okay sure yes you're right it's like whatever it works the topic right now there's just a different whole they're just a different category okay so listen to this we just said that this bananee is not a rasha but he's que russia he's like a russia valadosha mamesh not literally a russia god forbid he shouldn't listen to everyone who tells him that his ra became nullified to his tv because that's a description of a tsadik so remember in the very beginning of pedegalov who said that even if the whole world tells you it's ato you are exotic don't listen to them why not because you should know yeah this perfect behavior that the world is seeing and they're they're assuming that this is this is uh i roll out of bed in the morning and i behave like this without any struggle that's why they think i'm attic but i'm i i'm not under those un under that misimpression i know that my behaviors are sadik-like but internally there's a lot of struggle that goes into maintaining that ella rather than if there's so much struggle how is the makshava also not sinning remember we said there's three of the bushes is on all three levels but just because he doesn't ha i understand the question you're asking similar to what you're asking a few minutes ago let me just try to clarify when we say that the baini is free from sinful thought we don't mean to imply in any way that he's free from the impulse for some for sinful thought that's why i love that story about rabzev of shitamer about the knock at the door please imagine well if you love the story please imagine that the knock is going on 24 7 and it doesn't stop and it goes for years but you know you don't open the door okay but imagine there's a knock that doesn't go away it doesn't go away you wake up at three in the morning and it's still going he's still knocking you go on a vacation it sounds like torture it sounds like hell remember yeah that's what it sounds like that little guy that distraction don't we yeah have that except some of us have come and the pain only does not succumb so we all have that internal fight going on all the time well i i don't think it's consistent i think there are fluctuations there are times when the knock is louder and times when the knock is quieter times when the knock is more frequent sometimes when it's less frequent but what we're describing here abandoning could very well be somebody who's constantly having that bid i call it a bid the yatzahara is making a bid hey can we think about this hey can we think about this hey can we think about this you ever take little kids to the grocery store and they ask if they can buy candy okay so sometimes you say no and that's it sometimes it's an ongoing it's the you know even after you left the grocery store can we go back and get no and sometimes you buy and then you're then you're at russia and you're not obeying me right he never buys the candy i'll buy the candy when i want to buy the candy not what you tell me to buy the candy you're asking a question which is an inevitable question which is aren't there i'm going to repeat your words aren't there strategies we can put into place that would minimize the amount of struggle required and the answer to your question is absolutely there are and we will need to ask this question and answer this question at some point a hundred percent at this point we're simply learning our first tool exert the inherent dominance of the mind over the heart in order to have perfect impulse control now you're 100 right at some point i would i would appreciate a strategy for mitigating the degree of impulse control that's going to be required yeah yeah okay but that so just so we will keep you engaged here um that's going to be the question in pedic test zion and your design and then we're going to return to it in practice through none we have to get there but we have to get there right okay yes all right so let's continue here so he shouldn't believe that he's a tzadik even if the whole world tells him that he's a tadic allah rather yeah he should realize that the negativity in his heart is just as strong as the day he was born it did not leave don't fool yourself even if you're flawless in your behavioral control actually to the contrary yes actually got stronger over the years because he's been using it for his biological survival like eating and drinking and other bodily things which are unavoidable it's unavoidable that the the banana is going to have to hold on to his his bahamas because that's what's going to maintain his physical survival of you know of his of his body so here's here's the crazy thing you have this banany who's been flawlessly managing the behavioral struggle for years or for decades and you ask well after all this time i would assume now yanef jabamas has atrophied maybe he's maybe he's uh weaker maybe he's uh he's given up and the reality is no actually my name is even stronger today than when i started struggling against him well if he's even stronger then how are you still able to maintain being a bane any well first of all yeah god is helping me yeah but also i'm stronger so he's stronger and i'm stronger which is why you know if you're not going up you're going down like running up the down escalator because the animal soul is going to get stronger over time and that's in bet the best case scenario where a person is obeying me and has perfect impulse control and the the animal cells getting stronger over the years imagine the person who's indulging the animal soul by taking behavioral missteps so the important idea here is the identity of the banany he has to know who he is he has to understand that the the image that the world sees is one thing and that's within his power and that's why the whole focus is on that you know on the behaviors but that's just the the proverbial tip of the iceberg behind all of that he's kid russia he's exactly like like the russia let's see how far we can go maybe a few more lines let's go maybe a few more lines even somebody who his sole desire is to learn tata and he meditates pantera day and night that is not a proof whatsoever that he's gotten rid of the ra you look at the guy he's a mass mid billy moody the guy doesn't do anything but sit and learn toyota all day he must be at sadiq maybe but but the fact that he sits and learns tater all day is not the proof of that in fact i think you're beginning to catch on there's absolutely no external proof that anyone's attic so he's sitting and learning taylor all day he must be at sadiq no not necessarily allah yakuli ace rather that the essence meaning the inner emotional cognitive traits of the animal soul are just as strong as ever raksha levushav it's just on the level of the levushum thought speech in action the the soul garments don't get a chance to express themselves in his brain in his mouth and his hands and his other uh in his other uh limbs why not may hashem us because hashem has given power of the mind over the heart and that's why the godly soul is able to maintain in the case of the vein in the perfect control over the small city which is the body um that the end result is that the person is exclusively a garment or a vehicle for the thought speech and action of twitter mitzvos musa but the inner essence again the thought speech and action are under control but the cognition and the emotions are not imbecile only at those rare moments where there's this intense revelation of love on him at these special times like for instance we said when he davens and even at those times it's still having to hold it back it's not like you know we'll put down our our weapons and we won't get slaughtered no if we put down our weapons we are going to get slaughtered because that comes and know when one goes up the other goes down when one goes down the other goes up hashem ainsley abba azza rather what happens is when you're in that mode of beena of meditation of his bonniness and it creates a fiery love for hashem so that momentarily displaces even even on the internal emotional level any negative emotions avalanches but that ra is not bottle in the banana only in the tsadik where it says my heart meaning the negative emotions of the heart are dead within me actually detests ra either completely or incompletely remember those are the two levels of tsaddik that we mentioned in chapter 10. even at the times of respite it's like a sleeping guy don't poke the bear right he's just sleeping it's like it's sleeping in his left ventricle at the times when he is darvening or saying the love is burning and then right afterwards boom comes flooding back so you should know even in the times when the baini has this respite where even on an internal level his emotions are consistently holy and pure all the way a hundred percent yeah but that's a that's a temporary condition that can be lost in an instant and then all that other stuff will come back and then the emotional conflict will return now the behavioral conflict is always going to be 100 he's always going to be flawless in that area but emotionally to be free from the distraction that only happens at special times like when he's very deep in prayer okay feelings right yes overwhelming feelings of love or shame so they're so overwhelming that it's as if it's as if everything else is gone but it's really it's just it's just sleeping okay um we're gonna stop there we're going to continue next week and hashem finish pedigreed gimmel and then i think we're going to break for pesach i think next week is our last class before pesach so god willing we'll finish pedigreed gimbal next week