Text-Based Tanya Class—Week #20

all righty welcome good morning tanya um we're on a very special chapter now right where are we up to do you know that 12 is considered a pivotal chapter in tanya it's a turning point bass mitzvah chapter uh i never thought of that but that's a nice maybe it's a mnemonic a way to remember it chapter 12 in fact a lot of times um traditionally when children or young people learn tanya about that's a thing of memorizing tanya very often there's a goal of memorizing the first 12 chapters of tanya because chapter 12 is about the banini in fact the first word of chapter 12 is the habeni and the bethany in other words way back in chapter one we introduced sadiq russia and bainini and in fact more uh proteus more uh specifically two levels of trading two levels of russia and bani meaning five levels in total which are categories that are spoken about in the gemara in talmud and we wondered a lot about what they were and how to define them and how they differed from each other and then we went on a departure we started speaking about the animal soul there and the end of chapter one and then we spoke about the godly soul in chapter two and then we spoke about the kaichi sanefish the soul's powers the second is the intellect and the emotions in chapter three then we spoke about the soul garments thought speech in action in chapter four now we spoke about the soul food the the mozain for the neshama the torah study in chapter five then we went back to speak matsutra the other side and we got into the nephew bahamas again in chapter six then we spoke about clipper in the world klipas noiga in chapter seven charlottesville the irredeemable clipper in chapter eight then chapter nine we started speaking about the year katana the small city and the whole parable there from king solomon from kahala how do you say ecclesiastes i think i said it right um and then in chapter 10 we're like okay now it's time to go shabbat let's get back into that again chapter 10 sadik we did two levels of today then chapter 11 okay russia two levels of that we did two levels of russia that was last week two levels of russia now we did two levels of satellites to love us with russian now we're ready to get to the main point of the book remember the title of the book is safer shall begin him the book is called say if you shall abandon him so now we're on the chapter chapter 12 pedagogy base which starts the habenini and this is our focus we were everything we're doing was building up to this point so i'll tell you something very interesting by protest what happened to me i was in silver spring maryland for shabbos you know i go away a lot for shabbos that's part of bar hashem the wonderful arrangement i have here about of the five towns is that i don't have shabbos duties because uh shabbos i travel i go to different communities um so i happened silver spring maryland happened to be there and it's one of those places it's too far to drive comfortably i mean i could but you know takes a lot out of me to drive uh and then uh but it's too close to fly like takes more time door-to-door to fly than to to drive but i didn't want to drive i don't want to i don't want to talk i took the train that's right yeah i took the train no i didn't walk i didn't walk no i took the train took the amtrak so yesterday on the amtrak i don't even know how i stumbled upon this but the internet is is weird you know they have these all algorithms and they i guess they learn what you're into i don't even know yeah yeah they stalk you and they're good at it yeah they're good at it yeah so i i i don't know how this happened but i found people are pregnant before they get pregnant i found a quote yesterday i don't even know what i was looking for but some search results showed me a quote from jack kerouac now yeah jack kerouac yeah yeah who's on the road jack kerouac were you never a pretentious 20 year old you never read on the road thank god actually i never read it but all my friends did okay yeah yeah when you're 20 years old you have to read on the road and then you have to go you want to go on the road like jack carraway anyways it's very hip yeah yeah like the beatniks you know the beatniks yeah you know those crazy kids in the in the village yeah with their bongos we are the crazy kids okay anyway so there was this jack kerouac quote and it's this is the quote my fault my failure is not in the passions i have but in my lack of control of them and i was like whoa hold on a second my fault my failure is not in the passions i have but in my lack of control of them i was like hold on a second that's very deep meaning to say i have a nepheshabamas an animal soul a selfish survival impulse that just wants comfort and pleasure whatever it thinks is good for it and it's my myopic narrow-minded type of animalistic way whatever it thinks is good for it so that's not my fault that's how hashem made me he he gave me this this inclination so that's not my problem that i maybe it's my problem it's not my fault but that's not my fault that i have that inclination however i have free choice it is my fault if i listen to it so i do i have an animal soul that wants to do things that are not always aligned with god's will of course am i a moral failure for having such impulses of course not but am i accountable for controlling those impulses of course yes so i thought this is amazing my fault my failure it's very lyrical my fault my failures to the alliteration my fault my failure is not in the passions i have but in my lack of control of that so i started snooping around like how did kerouac get such a good line there and i snooped around and want to know something it's a misattribution it wasn't kerouac you know who it was it was alan ginsburg now you're gonna say allen ginsberg the beatnik the poet laureate of the beatniks the beat poet alan ginsberg yeah i heard about him he wrote some unsavory stuff and he did so kids out there don't don't google allen ginsberg poems not joking don't google allen ginsberg not a joke okay well now it's on you okay your fault your failure is not in your passion to google allen ginsberg pumps but in your failure to control yourself and not to google them okay it's okay at any rate it's not the most wholesome stuff but that's not the point the point is i knew there was something weird to say that jack kerouac said this it had to have been a yid it had to have been a year it was published in his journal which is i think it's called the book of martyrdom and artifice it's a journal about his adolescent years called the book of martyrdom and artifice by alan ginsberg the beat poet at any rate you see that even allen ginsberg who you wouldn't necessarily call a uh representative of uh jewish thought not necessarily in yeah uh but uh he hit upon that truth he was like something in him understood that truth and he nailed it and it's 100 correct that my fault my failure is not in the passions i have but in my lack of control of them there's nothing wrong with me because i have passions that are unwholesome or even absolutely horrendous that's the human condition but i am accountable for controlling them so now we're going to learn about the bananee we're going to learn about the the banany now the baby is basically the person who has the passions that the russia has meaning he desires things that he ought not desire but he has the behaviors of atsadik because of his control over his passions understood clearly okay so let's venture into the text okay petty good base for habenini and the bananee the regular guy who is the person sheila alam that never ever ever aim her never manages to conquer the small city remember from chapter nine lee slavish magoo flachtier to invest itself in the body and make it sin in other words where is the battle line the battleline is behavior will this baiting feel the inclinations that russia feels yes he will but at the level of behavior he will not allow a breach he will not allow that selfish impulse to express itself in actual modes of expression which we know as from chapter four the three levushum three soul garments namely thought speech and action thank you never never lylam never remember we spoke about last week about the russia how often does he relapse well remember there could be a russia on one end of the russia spectrum rarely he has 99.9 percent control but 99.9 percent is not 100 does not have perfect control the pain he has perfect control the hainu this means what does it mean he does not allow the animal soul to express itself in his body nephew bamas the three garments of the animal soul shaheen which are namely you guys said it the thought speech in action which come from klippa from the other side things that are not for hashem's sake do not predominate over the godly soul to the extent where they're able to actually get expression through the body on an emotional level yes sure the conflict is there very much so but it won't get expressed through the modes of expression now he enumerates not in the brain and not in the mouth and not in the other 248 limbs in other words the brain means thought and mouth means speech and the other 248 limbs means action it will not manage to make them sin or to defile them rather only only the three garments of the godly soul are expressed in his body shaheen which are you the thought speech and action of the 613 godly commandments and in fact he has never breached he has never transgressed and will never transgress okay classic questions that come up here if he sounds like a tzadik why he sees things that are us or alpitera and he's attracted to them that doesn't sound like exotic to me answer my question he sees things that are absolutely prohibited and they look good to him is that a toddler no is he a good person well then let's not use those hebrew words for a while until we adjust our understanding of what they are we can talk about that let's just talk about who he is right now let's not compare him to anyone okay classic questions what does it mean he never sinned if you're telling me he never sinned that i'm out of the running already so then why am i reading savage obeying him because now it's too late so one explanation is that it means baitini is not something that you're born as it's something you attain it's a state right so he's born with the potential to be obeying the as are all of us we're born with the potential to obey these aren't sprinkles so the babies are not sprinkled no to dickhim are sprinkled i love that we use the word sprinkle in this class and everyone knows what it is it's your word so he did chuva and he became a bane and he write and now he got a fresh start he became a banana and as a bananee he never sinned now what does it mean he will never he doesn't have free choice he does of course he has free choice so how can we how can we stay he will never sin he chooses his head as a being in the hell never seen also what it means is his the banony isn't just somebody who's having a streak oh had another good day had another good day uh just happened not to sin today he's committed to it the banony means he is choosing to be so committed that the mind state that he's in it makes it impossible for him to be over so it's it's a level of commitment it's not just like well i never had any real compelling reason to be michalo shabas but i guess if there were you know maybe i would no no it's off the table i say mccall shabbos because i think for most people who keep shabbos that's a relatable example of something that it's non-negotiable the truth is i could pick a lot of different things and it is different for different people for some people you know one one sin is non-negotiable and other people other sins are non-negotiable and by the way that sin which is non-negotiable in your mind which is obviously a totally subjective construct and it's you know it's kind of silly that we say that's non-negotiable and other things are but at any rate my point is that whatever sin that for you is non-negotiable that's where you're obeying me in in a microcosmic sense not a real beta but i'm saying if you want to know what a bananee is think of that sin which for you is non-negotiable where you could pretty much bet a million bucks it'll you'll never be over you'll never transgress it that's like being obedient but just then extrapolate that and imagine you were like that about everything but what if you don't have a thai okay so we'll talk about that later so we'll talk about later what about a banana who's only abandoned because of a lack of desire okay that's a good question chapter 15. okay saying that the average person is on that definition the average person can be and is therefore required to strive to be abani according to that definition it is a tall order but it's not an impossible order an impossible order would be you know what an impossible order would be don't desire it don't even look at it don't don't want it i can't do that i do want it so it doesn't sound impossible it's not impossible not impossible yeah okay excellent question which we'll get into a little bit later but the question was isn't his impulse itself already a thought and now he's already expressing okay we'll get into it later but there's certainly a distinction between the impulse for thought and actual thought there's a big a willful thought so there was one tajid who went to the maggit the mesricha magi who was the talmud and the mali makayama of the the balsham too the disciple and successor of the balshampton so this yid went to the market and he said i have problems with makshavasadas that means stray thoughts foreign thoughts impure thoughts and i don't know what to do about it so the magi told him to go to jitamir you guys probably heard of zhitama recently you didn't hear tommy ukraine it's in ukraine yeah so he told me go to githuber and go to my talmud rabzev so this yid went to jita he didn't know anyone he didn't even know observe he was just given a referral it's like when you're uh what we call gp says go to this uh ent i'm giving you a referral i don't know him that's okay i refer you have a referral so he went he had a referral to go to the zev so he shows him she taught me what it happened to me when he showed up it was friday afternoon of shabbos and he didn't have addresses in those days he just asked around where does obzev live and somebody pointed out a certain house and it's friday afternoon and he has his stuff with him he has he's got to put it away before before shabbos and he's knocking on the door and he definitely hears people inside you know the hustle and bustle on the jewish house out of shabbos is unmistakable he's knocking on the door boom and nobody's answering and he knocks more nobody's answering and now at this point he sees the sun is going down and he's getting kind of nervous and he's knocking louder and more persistently nobody's answering finally it's so close to shobs he says i can't stand here on the doorstep any longer and he runs to shul he puts his bags down in shul and basically you know there's an area in the back of shore where the homeless people the poor the indigent sleep and that's what he did he slept and he ate in shul like a homeless person for he was effectively homeless for that shabbos uh at any rate after shabbos somebody comes over to him and introduces himself his name is zev he's a talmud of the margin oh come to my house let's make abdullah we'll have malafa malcolm have the post shabbos meal together and they sit down and they're enjoying each other's company and speaking about torah ideas and finally the guy can't hold back anyway says you know you're being very kind to me right now but do you understand that i was 24 hours ago a little bit over 24 hours ago i was standing on your front doorstep and i was persistently knocking it was head of shabbos i was pounding on the door and i heard you inside i know you were ignoring me i know there are people there and and it was really cruel you see what happened to me i had to sleep in shul and eat and shul like an indigent person and that's not right you understand your rabbit the music maggot sent me to you that you should teach me how to control my stray thoughts and rabzev says the maggot sent you to me to control your story thoughts he says yes i feel the margaret sent me to you to look you should teach me how to control my stray thoughts says yes and that is precisely the first lesson i taught you upon your arrival is your tummy that just because there's a knock at the door doesn't mean i open it so think about it like this the benini will get the knock at the door the taiva call it the taiva the attraction oh that looks good the the desire or what ginsburg called the passion he'll have the passion oh that looks then he'll say hold on a second i'm not opening this door i'm not allowing the impulse to cross the line into active willful fantasizing or scheming even worse yeah the knocks coming at the door and i can't control that i cannot stop who knocks at my door now at sadiq it's beautiful to be exotic they don't even have them they don't have the knock they don't have the knock what they don't hear the knock they don't hear it or they don't have it or whatever it is it's not part of their experience the benefit he's got this nude nick pounding away sometimes constantly like woody woodpecker the knock could be a knock for a mitzvah it's bad was teaching him a lesson he was teaching a lesson that if you're the homeowner if you're the balabas you choose who to open the door for he wanted this jew to extrapolate that to his spiritual life and to understand that just like you have a house and you cannot control who knocks at the door but you can choose not to open the door he wanted him to understand that you may not be able to control the fact that you will have thoughts pop up but you can choose not to embrace them i always thought that the more inconvenient and the more ill-kind a mitzvah is the more scar there is to it i don't know we don't talk about scar here we're not in this car i don't know which class is the car which class is scar down the road [Laughter] okay it's a muscle it's just a muscle okay the point is that you asked an excellent question we're gonna get into it if he has the impulse for it he's already thought about it no no that's you know one time i was driving in crown heights you're laughing already it's a hilarious story already i'm driving at crowd heights this is going to be good and uh i drove by a guy's driveway and there was a sign in front of his driveway that said don't even think of parking here so you know what happened the second i read that sign there i didn't even need to park i didn't even want to park but it said don't even think of parking boom and i think that what a silly sign because you can't control that that's like don't think of a pink elephant on roller skates you all lose what he should have said what he could have said that i actually have free choice over is i thought about this don't even think about parking here so you don't even think of parking here boom i already did it i thought of parking here don't think about parking what i'm thinking about thinking about is if i would slow down and i would idle the car and look at the driveway and be like oh that's the perfect space for my car to park and i would like fantasize and envision myself backing into the spot yeah that'd be amazing like wow yeah and just looking at the spot that way my car would go so perfectly right there i'm not gonna do it how's the show that's that man's driveway i'm not gonna do it but i just wanna take a minute there's no one behind me okay good i just want to look at that beautiful spot and imagine myself parking in it and then a minute later we're like thanks a lot sucker fantasized about parking in front of your driveway i didn't do it because i'm not you know i'm not like i'm not that much of a low life and then i drive off that would be called thinking about and obviously that was a choice that was an activity that was something that you willfully did and according to torah that is a behavior thought is a behavior albeit a behavior that you engage in in your own head but it's a behavior so the bananee may think of sinful things and in fact the knock may be so persistent that he thinks of sinning all day long but he'll never do it he'll never speak sinfully and he'll never think about it meaning he won't fantasize and he won't scheme it may come to him he will not elaborate on it correct okay so let's continue here so he will not sin ever of shame and he is not called a russia for even a second all of his days meaning all of his days as a banany because if you are a bananee 99.9 percent of the time and then 0.1 percent of time you're at russia that's called a really good russia which is nice and some of my best friends are just show you however and here's here's the wild part okay so we just described this guy who has 100 behavioral control whoa this guy is on a whole other level but now he says something to you he says but hold on a second what's the other side of the story regarding this baitini ah however the essence of his godly soul meaning it's ten faculties that we learned about in chapter prior the ten soul faculties of the godly soul the sacral and middle east the intellect and the emotions well then look at the chart look at the tanya map come on ladies small letters chapter three okay so the essence of the godly soul meaning it's ten faculties they do not have exclusive dominion in the small city meaning to say on a soul power level remember the soul powers the circle in the middle is the intellect and the emotions atsadik has one internal experience meaning it's all just the experience of the sacral and middles the intellect and the emotions of the godly soul the banning knee is conflicted he's not like that he has a duality on that level on the level of sake on the level of me this meaning to say on the level of sachel seiko means perception and how you see things how you subjectively assess a situation so he's got two sets of intellect one is godly the other is selfish animalistic also emotionally you know he has a godly set of emotions and an animalistic set of emotions so he loves the things that are good to love but at the very same time he's conflicted he loves the things that are not good to love so he says on a behavioral level 100 dominion over the small city on an internal level of intellect and emotion quite conflicted now is everyone following this yeah is this clear internally he's conflicted in and internally means on the level of the soul powers which are the sacral admits the intellect and the emotions he's got two sets of those he's got two sets of those and they're clashing so he's conflicted in his perception of reality sometimes he sees it from a torah perspective sometimes it's even from a selfish perspective he's conflicted on an emotional level sometimes he loves good things sometimes he loves the wrong things in fact not sometimes this sometimes that maybe at one moment he has a mixture he has mixed emotions we call it mixed emotions but he doesn't give in to them now i got you hooked so what's the work he does to make sure that he's assured la is he'll never succumb and now i got you hooked because now it's that's the rest of the book you just asked the question that the entire book now is answering the question now is what is the work that he does to ensure he will never succumb on a behavioral level even when he never manages to completely rid himself of the internal conflict and the answer is that's what this book is all about and it took us 12 chapters to get to that but that is the point of the book yeah yeah yeah yeah okay now here's an interesting point he's he just said that it that a banana basically his whole experience the bananas experience is one that is rife with conflict with internal conflict but there's an exception to that which the altareb notes right now kim so he says he does not have exclusive his godly soul does not have exclusive dominion internally on an intellectual or emotional level kiem accept and here's the exception when he has a sadiq like reprieve even on an internal level yeah yeah yeah yeah once in a while once in a while he gets left alone and he can relax and enjoy some nice sonic-like moments yeah he's going to he's going to explain him except for very particular times in particular times kameh for instance bishas krishna at the time when he says or when he davans which is a time of mature intellect in the spiritual realms when you are saying she's proclaiming god's oneness when you're davening and you're connecting to hashem so there's something that happens at that time where you enter an elevated state of consciousness the gamla mata and also down here he shakes it's a propitious time for everyone where you're connecting your nadas your intellectual faculties to hashem big doulas of to delve deeply with your das with your with your mind into the greatness of god and to arouse the love the glowing coal fire like love in your right ventricle of your heart ladav kabayi to cleave to hashem that love is the motivation to desire to cleave to hashem bikiyamatera mitzvah ava to lovingly cleave to hashem by lovingly doing his mitzvahs and learning his toyota shizao indiana krishna in fact that is what the whole krishna the mitzvot krishna saying is all about it's about reaching that level of the ohafta and loving hashem also so krishna the mitzvah is a biblical commandment and then rabbinically there are mitzvahs there are brachas we say before and after shema which are meant to mentally prepare us and lead us up to that that state of love and if you darven properly you'll actually be able to enter that zone and no it's talking about in in in davening when it's part of the whole the whole process the whole journey so he's always struggling except when he's dying except when he's dominating right it's very intense oh heck yeah it's intense he's not like a regular person no he is a regular person that's a regular person struggling constantly what do you want shouldn't struggle well it depends what your standards are how often you struggle depends on what your standards are oh that's true you don't relate to this stuff you're tardic why are you here okay she's just observing we have a today in the class observing the rest of it okay so he says the the shema itself which is biblical commandment and the blessings before and after shema in the davaning which are rabbinical commandments the blessings that we say in darwining before shema those are preparation for so that you can actually get yourself to a place where you can when you save your after and you should love the lord that you're actually loving the lord and then meaning when he does the adequate preparation the contemplation and the the focus you know deep prayer when he does that so then he gets in the zone so then harass molly cough of a bottle a mispass shiver what happens is that the negativity in the left ventricle becomes subjugated to the goodness which is spreading out from the right ventricle from the holy intellect in his brain which are connecting to the greatness of god in other words at that moment he's so hooked into god-consciousness that he has a momentary or temporary experience of being relieved from the condition of internal struggle aval ahrefila however after he finishes davening bistalkas are making the godless saints of barack when that condition of mature spiritual intellect departs molly the negativity pops right back up in the left ventricle misawa taiva lativa mahazavatanugov and he again lusts after the desires of this world so now he's back to desiring things that are no good for him but will he but will he succumb to them no because he says iraq however even when the taiwan's when the lusts come back since those animalistic desires do not have exclusive dominion over the city they will not manage to express themselves in behavior to go from potential to actuality with slavism to express themselves in his limbs and his physical limbs but in action in speech or in thought literally what's thought literally that was your question that's where it's hinted to in tanya that's your question the word mamish means there's two things there's like did you think of did you think of it like that's my shovel like come on that's not my problem it just popped up did you think about it did you dwell on it did you invite it do you open the door like rebzev said that's marshawn and now you're accountable and if you do that kind of stuff clearly you're not obeying me yet almost like a behavior that's what we're saying that thought is a behavior thought is a behavior [Music] and you said it's not in the city it's it's that thought is no longer there you have to you have to be clear what you mean when you say because we just said two different definitions for thought we said thought and thought so no well this paragraph though well here let me let me say it in simple english we said the condition of the mainly is to be constantly conflicted on an internal level okay however there is a reprieve when he dives well and he gets in the zone so he doesn't have the internal conflict it's as if he were a tzadik for that period however after he's finished davening the impulses will return however you see we keep going back and forth those impulses will never manage to express themselves behaviorally because he's obvious no no because yeah you don't want to get your left ventricle removed that could cause some cause some physiological issues there is [Music] it should benefit you you david could you to connect to hashem no i'm right i gave him a break give him a break now ladies let's continue here because we're about to come to probably arguably the most important few words in tanya yeah like if you take notes this should be your only notes from today no all right okay ready okay all right well do we do did we finish the sentence we said we got to finish that sentence and what does it mean he says he will never actually cross the line where he starts thinking about not of but about his desires and scheming how to fulfill them he won't cross that line okay why not now here's the real important phrase key because here's why he will not cross that line behaviorally not in action not in speech not even in thought why not key because the brain charlotte rules al-haleif over the heart we should all say it together the brain rules over the heart always the brain rules over the heart says in brackets commission kosovo but i imagine participants like it says that's a section of zaihar so where does this come from which book zohar very good and the alternate continues this is how a person was formed at birth shall call on them that everyone yahoo is able with the will in his brain lisapic to resist the limbs and rule over the spirit of desire in his heart shalayla malice michalis libay not to give in and fulfill the desires of his heart the mighty not in action deeper not in speech and in fact to completely avert his mind from these desires to befrat and especially al-sadr kadusa to think about the opposite to go and think about good things holy things instead what did the alta debut just say he said here's your first tool we're finally in the instructional parts of tanya we had all this gross anatomy learning about the makeup of the soul and we had spiritual topography the lay of the land in the universe the clipper the kadusha and we were learning terms like insanity now we finally have a tool it's finely instructional instruction number one tool number one of tanya hamayak charlotte al-aleif but he tells you something very important about that tool he lets you know something where do you go and buy that tool say it again everyone hears do you go out and buy it do you have to develop it you just have to use it you're born with it he says that that's what makes you human he says in about four different ways right that it's by birth that this is the way you were made that this is the the formation of a person in other words maya shalt eleve is not something that you have to go out and attain it's just something that you have to make use of i uh i experienced once i always tell this story whenever i teach tanya at some point i always share this story where hashem taught me directly what maya shalt aleve means and what the altar means that it's innate and it's natural and it's human everyone has it you just got to use it so one time uh i was a newlywed i don't know how newlywed probably the first two three years were married and my wife ran into the grocery store for a minute and i was sitting in the car she had been driving and i was sitting in the passenger seat because i was saying tell him i was trying to finish telling before and very froome you know and no no no no the days to hillary i wasn't saying the whole safety tell them okay so i was finishing the day still and she ran into the store for two minutes and she she had been driving so that i could say to him because i try not to say tell him while i drive and yeah anyways so i'm sitting in the passenger seat and saying tell him and as i'm sitting in the passenger seat i spy with my little eye out of the corner of my eye i see this lady coming out of the store and she's walking very briskly and she's making like a bee line right toward me and she looks very agitated and she's like holding a kid like an eight-year-old kid by the hand she's walking you know that angry mom walk with her eight-year-old kid and i know i know something happened you know anyways and she's walking right and all of a sudden she's like six inches away from my face i'm like behind my little hipaas she's right there i'm like what does she want from me i'm getting i'm getting scared like this mom's going to yell at me so you don't want to get yelled at by a mom so and then uh what what i what i see is oh no she's parked next to me and i'm on the passenger side of my car she's parked to the right of my car so she's going into the driver's side of her car which is like a foot away from from my car and uh what she does is she opens the back door she puts her kid in the back seat buckles him into the seat she gets into the driver's seat she closes the door and the second she closes the door she turns around and she starts yelling at the kid she says i told you we're not gonna do that and i warned you before we went into the store and by the way sometimes they tell this story and people get horrified they're like oh my goodness that's abusive did you call did you call the po trust me it was okay anyways um yeah and she's yelling at the kid she buckled him in yeah she's a good mom yeah yeah anyways she's yelling at the kid but all of a sudden she sees me and i'm with my little krita's book i'm peeking she like we make eye contact but she's like and she stops and she just turns around all calm and everything not yelling at my kid right okay so okay so here's my question here's my question at what point in that story you have to use your critical thinking skills at what point in that story that i just told you did the mother become upset with the child presumably eight years earlier when did she become upset when was she feeling agitated when was she feeling upset presumably in the store i mean when she came out she was already yeah she's riled up okay all right at what point did she express that with actual behavior in the car in the closed car and at what point did she stop expressing it so here's here's something remarkable to think about she had a very strong feeling she was agitated but as long as she was in the store now obviously this differs according to your different social norms and mores different cultures have different opinions about publicly disciplining your children but for this woman it would be inappropriate to publicly discipline her child so she was feeling agitated in the store but she didn't express it and she was holding it in she was controlling herself she controlled herself not only did she control herself all the time she was in the store and she controlled herself until she got to the car but even more remarkably much more remarkably even once she had let it fly once she wanted to stop it because she saw i was there she was able to stop it on a dime damn like that so even more remarkable than the fact she was able to hold it in the whole time in the store was that even in the middle of it flying out she could cut it off like that in an instant so i could read on her correct i could read certain body language and by the way albanian he might also have that kind of you know micro expressions in body language that would show that the taivas the lust are getting to him okay but on a level of conscious behavior thought speech and action he's totally in control so here's what i'm saying she was at least in the in regard to this specific behavior like a banany if we could extrapolate if we could pretend that she had that degree of control about everything and that her uh all of her standards were according to torah okay this is a very hypothetical situation but i'm just pointing something out that she was able to control her behaviors and then not only was she able to control them for an extended period of time but much more impressively even in the middle of everything coming out she could stop it and cut it off like that in an instant at will so here's what i want to ask you what spiritual practice did this woman engage in to be at such a level of behavioral control you think she was just embarrassed so you don't think you don't think that she like meditated to get to that level of behavioral control so then what so then how did so then how did she have what how did she have the ability to have to exercise but where did she get it from how did she develop that degree of impulse control what i don't think i think it's the ego the ego is the motivation my question is how she had the have ability yeah continue how could she cut it off at will and i'm asking a question what did she do to attain that level of self-control nothing nothing nothing nothing she was born because a human being is born with impulse control my point is only this when the altar makes up he goes to great length to say that this mayak shalt aleve is the way you're born and it's human nature and it's native it's innate it's factory settings the point is this every human has impulse control now what you choose to apply your impulse control to depends on your standards and on your mores and on your beliefs so please don't perseverate on this example and extrapolate in the wrong way my my only intention here is to illustrate the fact that human beings have this remarkable ability to control ourselves at will when we are sufficiently motivated if we and it doesn't matter it was her ego it was embarrassment you guys are saying oh but she was only embarrassed it doesn't matter what her motivation was my point is when she was motivated she was able to do it huh is it learned no tonight no it's no it's not learned it's it's innate it's not skinner it's chomsky i didn't count but it's the first one are we talking and i say to you this is the first course very softly this is the first course how many courses are there that's rude right imagine you serve the first course i say oh this is the first course how many courses are you serving hold on a second i tell people has it down that's what i should have done i should have said how many tools there are and then the truth is i'm covering up my embarrassment it's embarrassment that i never counted i don't know how many times okay but but listen here's the point this is how i want to end today [Applause] where do you get it you got it where do you get it you got it you have my shoulder life every human being has my external belief the altar is saying use it you want to know how this bananee who has all the desires that you have he has all the lusts and the the the distractions that you have but he has impeccable behavior he's a russia on the inside and that's on the outside how does he manage to do it one tool mother shalt life which all of us have as human beings yeah practically speaking how do we use this with our kids if we're blessed with kids well you want to control their behaviors to learn to control their behaviors so they have to learn tanya too yeah no joke 100 yes yes okay we will stop there for today and we'll continue into shim next week okay