Teshuvah Is Not a Mitzvah | Parshas Naso

A drunk woke up with a hangover, remorseful, remembering how he'd gotten drunk the night before and gotten into a terrible fight with his wife. And he was so angry with himself. He went downstairs. He saw all the empty beer bottles strewn all over the place. He gathered them up. He went outside and he took the empty bottles. He started throwing them against the wall, smashing them. With each smashed bottle, he would scream at the bottle, "You're the reason why I fight with my wife." And he would take another empty bottle. He'd smash it against the wall, "You're the reason why I fight with my wife." And he took another empty bottle, smashed it against the wall. He said, "You're the reason I fight with my wife." He got to another bottle. Looks this one is sealed. It's full. Still full of beer. He looks at it. He says, "You, I know you have nothing to do with this. You stand aside." So, we're going to talk about remorse, regret, wanting to turn over a new leaf, being sincerely contrite. Why? Because in this week's parashah, Parshat Nasso, we read, "Vihitvadu es hatosim asher asu." "They shall confess the wrong that they had done." And what is this talking about? Confession. I know a lot of us, unfortunately, have heard about confession in other contexts, and many Jews don't think confession is part of Judaism. It's They think of it as uh lehavdil in Catholicism, going to the priest in the confessional. Confession in Judaism is not between one person and another. Confession is straight to Hashem. And the basis for it is a verse in this week's parashah. And the Rambam, in fact, in his sefer Hamitzvos, brings this verse as the foundation for positive commandment number 73, mitzvas asei ayin gimmel, which states, "Hee shitzavanu." The 73rd positive commandment is the one that commands us "Vihitvades al ha'avonim v'al ha'chata'im she'chatano lifnei Hashem." To confess before Hashem the wrongdoings that we have done. And to say them, to verbally articulate them. With teshuvah. With teshuvah. Okay. So actually that's what I want to dwell on, the im hatshuva, with teshuvah, with repentance. Very interesting. And this is a classic question that the commentaries have asked for centuries. The Rambam says, to confess one's sins when one repents is a mitzvah unto itself. The confession itself is a mitzvah. Based on this week's parsha. To confess when one repents. Interestingly, the Rambam doesn't say anywhere to mitzvah to repent. So, teshuvah itself, repentance itself, he doesn't mention it's a mitzvah. But he says confession when you repent, then it's a mitzvah to to confess along with teshuvah. Why is teshuvah not a mitzvah? So, there are many, as I said, it's a classical question. There are many approaches that have been taken over the ages, but I'm going to share one approach with you. And uh before I do, I want to introduce a concept which may be familiar, but maybe we'll go into it in a depth that we haven't before. I'm sure we're familiar with the idea of the body, the human anatomy being aligned with the mitzvahs. Uh in fact, we mention it in the Misheberach. In the Misheberach prayer for the sick, we talk about healing for the 248 limbs and the 365 uh blood vessels. These correspond to the 248 positive commandments and 365 negative prohibitions. Um And Sifres explains on a deeper level, a limb or an organ is a part of a body which performs a function. It does something. So, to the 248 positive commandments, each does something. Each elicits a different or a different light into the world. Uh and conversely, the the blood vessels, what do they do? They contain the blood, which is the life force, so that it doesn't go off where it doesn't belong. And that's the same thing the prohibitions, they they keep the the light. They don't bring new light into the world, but they can they keep the light directed. They keep it focused, so that it doesn't leak to the negative entity entities and and and God forbid strengthen them. So, we are with our 248 limbs and 365 blood vessels, we are sort of designed as as mitzvah machines. Now, have you ever heard of the Sifrei Charedim? Sifrei Charedim is an interesting safer. It was composed by a uh a a poet and a a composer who lived in Safed, in the the holy city of Safed in northern Israel, uh Reb Elazar Azikri. And he lived there he lived there in Safed at the same time as the Arizal. And uh in fact, he's well known. He He composed the Yedid Nefesh, uh liturgical poem that we sing Friday night before Kabbalat Shabbat. And he was the leader of a group of people who were seeking self-refinement. And one of the things he did for them is he created this program, which he later then published as as Sifrei Charedim. And what's Sifrei Charedim? The The name itself doesn't tip you off to what it is. It It just means the the book of the God-fearing. But, it's a very interesting um book because you know, throughout history, there have been various books that are cataloging the mitzvahs. In fact, we mentioned Sifrei Mitzvot earlier, the Rambam safer mitzvahs. Um and and there's safer chinuch and many, many others who have taken the 613 mitzvahs and enumerated them and cataloged them. But the safer chareidim by Rabbeinu Elazar Azkiri does something novel. It organizes the mitzvahs by body parts. And it's based on the words of the uh Psalms where it says, "Kol atzma'i sa'y temarnah." All of my bones, meaning all my body parts shall declare Hashem's praise. And and so he'll say like all of the mitzvahs that are connected to the eyes, like looking at the tzitzis. Or not looking at that which would uh cause you to go astray. Or uh mitzvahs you do with your mouth, like like speaking words of Torah. Or like not speaking words of of slander or or uh or libel. Um or or or mitzvahs that you do with the heart, like love of God and and awe of God. So, it's very interesting, this idea of mitzvahs each corresponding to a different part of the body. In other words, you have to think about it like this, that you know, we are created in Hashem's image. Our bodies are perfectly designed mitzvah machines. And that the human anatomy is a testimony to the mitzvahs and it was created for being a a conduit or a vessel to the mitzvahs. And and and therefore, the body is like perfectly aligned with the mitzvahs. And uh you can see or one who is able to see such things can see how how each mitzvah is connected to another part of the body. Okay. Now, having that in mind, this idea that every mitzvah is aligned with a different part of the body, I want to tell you a story. Many people know that the third Rebbe of Chabad, the Tzemach Tzedek, was orphaned at 3 years old. His saintly mother, Rebbetzin Chava Leah, passed away. And uh he was raised essentially by his grandfather the Bal Tanya. Who we referred to as the altar Rebbe. There was a story when the little Tam said it was a little boy who was once sitting on his grandfather's lap. And as little children sometimes do he was he was putting his hands on his on his grandfather's beard. And he was saying Zaidy, Zaidy, grandfather, grandfather. And the altar Rebbe said to the little boy What what Zaidy? That's not Zaidy. This isn't Zaidy. This is Zaidy's beard. So the clever little child then so he he he changed it up and he he touched his grandfather's head. He said Zaidy. And the grandfather the altar Rebbe says that's not Zaidy either. That's Zaidy's head. So he says Zaidy. He says that that that's Zaidy's heart. That's not Zaidy. That's Zaidy's heart. Then he pointed to his hand. He said that's Zaidy's hand. That's not Zaidy. And every point every body part that he would point to that the altar Rebbe would say that's not Zaidy. That's not grandfather. That's that's Zaidy's hand. That's Zaidy Zaidy's heart. Zaidy's head. Zaidy's beard. Okay. So eventually the little boy he jumped off of his grandfather's lap and he went across the room and he stood behind the open door. The door was always swung open. He stood behind the door sort of you know hid himself over there and he waited for a while. And after he waited for a while he all of a sudden he cries out Zaidy. And all of a sudden his grandfather turns to him. Yes. And the little boy points and he says that's Zaidy. You know I I I've heard it said before we're not human beings we're human doings. There's something You can't find the part. You can't point to the the limb and say that's Zaidy. And not And And not only that, you can't even point to all the collection of all the different limbs and say, "Oh, the totality or the the the the the amalgamation of all them is Zaidy." What's Zaidy? Zaidy is not a thing. Zaidy is a is an act. Or Zaidy is an essence that's revealed through an act. Through that act of turning toward the child and giving him his focus. So, where is Zaidy? If you point to this, to that, to that, to that, or even if you put all those things together, those are just the parts of Zaidy. Where do you see the essence of Zaidy? When when when when the when the grandchild calls out Zaidy and he turns to him, that act of turning toward him, the connectedness, the the bonding, that is the essence of Zaidy. That's Zaidy. Okay. So, think about it like this. All of the mitzvahs are different body parts. And with each body part, we connect to a different mitzvah. In fact, the mitzvahs are also called Hashem's body parts, so to speak. The It says the the the in Zohar, the 248 limbs 248 positive mitzvahs are 248 um limbs of the king. So, each mitzvah is like a different aspect of the relationship, let's say. And then there's the relationship itself, the connection itself. There's the essence. There's Zaidy. All other mitzvahs are an aspect of the relationship. Teshuvah is the relationship. And that's the answer to our question, very simple. Why the Rambam says the confession is a specific mitzvah and teshuvah repentance is not. Confession is a specific mitzvah. It's a specific act. It's a specific aspect of the relationship. And it's also it's connected with a specific part of the body. It's it's you you confess with the mouth. But Teshuvah, where is Teshuvah? Is it only in the mind? Is it only in the heart? Is it only in the in the limbs? You can't pinpoint where Teshuvah is cuz it's not an aspect of the relationship. It is the relationship. When the little child cries out Zaidy, and Zaidy turns to him because Zaidy is essentially connected to the little child, that's like when the Jew calls out Hashem. And Hashem turns. The essence of the Jew calls out to the essence of Hashem, and Hashem turns to us and says, "Yes, I want you. And even though you did wrong and you didn't do the mitzvahs." But my connection to you cannot go away. It's an essential connection, an unbreakable bond. And I still want you. And I and and And you know, an employee who doesn't do what he's told, you fire him. You replace him. But but a child and a father? You can't disown a child. You can't disown a parent. You can turn your back on the relationship, even God forbid. But but but it's it's your essence, and you bring it everywhere you go. And therefore, even when there was something wrong in this aspect of the relationship or that aspect of the relationship OR EVEN ALL THE ASPECTS OF THE RELATIONSHIP, the essence of the relationship is still there deep down. And when the Jew calls out Hashem, it's essence to essence. And that's not one part of Hashem or one part of the Jew. It's not one mitzvah or another mitzvah. It's the essence of Hashem and the essence of the Jew. It's the essence of the bond. It's the relationship itself. And that's why Teshuvah, according to the Rambam, is not a mitzvah at all. It is bigger than a mitzvah. It is the relationship upon which all mitzvahs are based. And we should always remember that that no matter what situation we're in, no matter what may need improvement in this aspect or that aspect, that when we call out essence to essence, Hashem hears and he turns to us and he focuses on us with his entire being.