Ten Minutes of Meaning (Part 96): Breaking Bad Middos - Mesillas Yesharim

good morning invoker tov and welcome back to our ten minutes of meaning our weekly study of music tries to help inspire us to live our best selves and our best lives to achieve our greatest potential and to make our greatest contribution to this world i want to thank our dear friends hani alani grunstein who sponsored this series in memory of khani's father mr aaron tembor aron ben yitzhak should have an aliyah we are still in the 11th chapter of and then has been taking us through the media of nikhias the media of cleanliness how to purge from ourselves those temptations those desires those distractions all that noise so that we live our lives not having to struggle and not with a sense of tension or friction but rather we intuit and we instinctively know to do the right things and to behave the right way and to make the right impression and to live the correct and the right lives we begin with zahiro's mindfulness cautiousness being present with every thought speech and deed we move to zurich's alacrity once we learn how to regulate and be disciplined over our behavior then how can we pursue our goals with uh with zealousness how do we pursue those goals with enthusiasm and energy and then we've moved over here to nikias where we've been talking about so many different components of our lives from how we eat and how we speak and honesty and integrity in business interpersonal relationships another has moved over to the world of medos to the world of character traits of behavior that lest one dismiss those as insignificant or as not important to focus on or is not worthy of our attention or our personal effort this is the very definition of a person just like when it comes to our actions to learn to disciplined eating discipline when it comes to punctuality and time discipline when it comes to speech discipline when it comes to every area and arena of life so too discipline learning to regulate our character the kimachi yosekasha and and in fact if i were to ask you what's harder to change a quality a character trait or to learn to control a behavior which one is more difficult which one is harder says changing a character trait is harder there are people who naturally react with envy with jealousy there are people who get angry they fly off the handle very easily there are people who struggle with arrogance and ego these are core character traits and breaking one of them changing one of them transforming who we are and how we think and behave and interact with the world it's even harder than learning to regulate one of our one of our behaviors because a person's nature informs their character even more than it does their behavior oh messiah due to the makeup of a person's temperament and personality can either be a great assistance or it can be great opposition wow what a battle it's our parachute the fight against our alter ego the fight to not eat that thing to not say that thing the fight to not feel that way to not react in that manner it is a battle it is a fight make no mistake whatever battles we have to do externally with the world around us often not always they pale in comparison to the struggle and the battle with our own internal voice with our own alter ego with the own side of us that wants to sabotage our success our happiness our best effort our biggest impact on the world it is a daily grind the alarm went off are you going to hit four snoozes you're going to jump out of bed you're going to be early on time or late to shul are you going to be able to focus and concentrate on davening when a spouse or children or friends or a co-worker do something that aggravates and frustrates are you going to react in anger are you going to let yourself lose your cool are you going to stay calm cool and collect when you see someone who has something that you want will you be jealous and envious or do you have the capacity to be happy for them breaking those qualities engaging in that battle it is nothing short of a war it's going against our nature it's going against the momentum that carries us this is what our rabbi said who is a mighty person who is a warrior it's not the one who can lift the most weights it's not the person who can hit the ball the farthest it's not the person who wins the most wars the sharpest shooter the keyboard the warrior is the one who can defeat that internal voice not external enemies who can regulate their lives who can be disciplined who can transform who can break a habit it's really really extraordinary the villenegon is commentary on michelle perrick dallas possibly gimmel it's worth looking it up the villenego and michelle perrick dollar possibly gimmel the gon the girl makes a famous statement he says i'll tell you in the english he says a person lives in order to break the media which he hasn't broken yet until now thus a person must always strengthen himself to work because listen to the words of the ville negome if he doesn't what is the point of living if he doesn't what is the point of living if we don't control our middles if we don't conquer our alter ego if we don't regulate our instinct and our reaction if we don't live our best selves what is the point of living what is the point so yes externally i gotta hear the chauffeur and i gotta shake the little vanessa i gotta put on the fill and i've got to do the mitzvos yes i have to say minecon time and i'm normally allowed to eat this externally there's 613 things but they're all there to cultivate an inner sense of discipline the capacity to regulate to mold and shape who we are we learn and observe torah in order to become bene torah and benos torah it's not supposed to be something external to ourselves a habit or a hobby it's supposed to shape and mold who we are so says the gone identify a media that you have to break that you haven't broken yet and break it because if you don't and you can't then what is the purpose of living it is why we are here rafitner and parhadityam says that the truth of the matter is the power of change is the greatest innovation after the wonder of the creation of heaven and earth wow you hear that when you're contemplating what are the great wonders of the universe the greatest wonder of history is that hashem created ex-nil or something from nothing he didn't have ingredients or materials to start with he couldn't go to home depot or lowe's he created a world from nothing he created a world from nothing we commemorate we celebrate that every week it's called shabbos that is the greatest act says rafa you know what the second biggest act is when a person can conquer amida a person can conquer amida it's amazing it's absolutely amazing i was recently talking to a couple and trying to help them navigate some challenging times and the husband mentioned that his wife used to react very impulsively and react very strongly and intensely but when it was pointed out to her in the past she has dedicated herself to really working on it and she no longer does that and i was in awe i was in awe to be able to become aware and alert about a certain quality that needs to change and to set oneself out and to determine to change it and to succeed it's amazing amazing i also only recently learned about a young man who when he was younger in his teenage years was mean was obnoxious was cruel to peers but decided to conquer that is one of the nicest people i know now there we have that ability we have that ability in cesaro footner it is nothing short of almost imitating creation of heaven and earth because change the ability to transform ourselves to regulate ourselves to be disciplined over ourselves is an act of self-creation so almost as great as the creation of the world and that's what is encouraging us here it's not enough to regulate our external actions and behaviors we have to become aware of and dedicated to molding and shaping who we are internally impacting who we are on the inside becoming better people venemidos there are many qualities all the man's worldly actions there's a number of character traits so whatever we do externally there's a corresponding internal program or drive that leads to that action um just like when it comes to external action and behavior like mitzvos we have to cleanse ourselves we have to remove any any uh contamination any delay any procrastination and just do the mitzvah properly the master used beneath only and we have to identify what will bring us down what will knock us so of course so he says now we're going to analyze and we're going to dive into what are the qualities that are most prevalent that are most pernicious gaiva kass kina and taiva gaiva khas kenneth those are the four arrogance anger jealousy and lust these are the four that almost everybody struggles with arrogance if not arrogance ego ego gets in the mix how many times do we get involved in conflict and at the core of that conflict was in any unhealthy presence of our ego ego guyva cast anger anger to fly off the handle to overreact to lose our cool anger clouds judgment anger lights up the animal parts of the brain and quiets the human parts of the brain animal disturbs our good judgment kinna jealousy envy being angry about what others have and taiva lust wanting what we want when we want it and how we want it now there's a three medos the mission in pricky alvarez tells us they remove a person from the world kinativa and kavod kinnetiva and kavod are gematria's sheker the gematria shecker if you pursue kenneth and kavod envy honor and lost then you're living in a world of falsehood you've turned the world upside down to achieve ms to live a world of truth and to live a truthful life you have to transcend those qualities break them in kola we don't have to spend a long time says trying to prove or bring evidence for why these qualities are detrimental kineros heinous their core they're bad their corollaries are bad because they all operate outside of rational thinking they quiet they silence they turn off our ability to think clearly they cloud our judgment and they cause us to sabotage our own lives and each one brings us to terrible mistakes arrogance and ego when our when we become inflated then we forget hashem on anger it says a person who gets angry it's as if they're worshipping an idol really we're giving in to our own sense of uh who we want what we want we're worshiping ourselves kenneth it says cannot have a covenant i don't have to prove to you how negative they are how detrimental they are the impact they leave but we'll go through one by one beginning next time says analyzing and investigating how can we break them how can we eliminate them how can we overcome them how can we purge them how can we become lucky clean from the presence of those qualities in our lives until then stay happy stay healthy stay holy in 15 minutes 8 45 living with a moon and 9 o'clock tonight we go behind the bema with petey deutsch fighting for her right to compete in the olympics and move them to a sunday join us both and for all of our learning opportunities have a fantastic day