Ten Minutes of Meaning (Part 125): The Dignity of Discipline - Mesillas Yesharim

good morning and welcome back to our weekly 10 minutes of meaning so glad that you're with us as we study the ramkhara moshe sato his winning formula for how to be the best version of yourself want to thank our generous sponsors our dear friends khani and lenny groenstein in memory of khani's father mr aaron tambor aron ben yitzhak for sponsoring this series for the year if you'd like to sponsor a future class please email lee eli at brsonline.org lee at brsonline.org we are on the home stretch of understanding the media the quality of precious often defined or often translated as abstinence but in judaism we don't endorse and we don't encourage abstinence in the sense that pleasure is something evil or bad abstinence denying depriving ourselves of that pleasure is the root or is the path towards holiness holiness is by engaging the world elevating transforming it abstinence itself is not a value but discipline is the notion of being sovereign of being disciplined of being in control of not allowing the things the pleasures the distractions the temptation the appetites of this world tone us but for us to own and to dictate them and we last left after was describing this in the world of eating and the world of food how even though a moment on the lips even though we only taste and indulge in the food very temporarily and nevertheless we are unable to exhibit the self-control we eat we eat quantities we eat portions well beyond what we need to nourish ourselves well beyond what we need in order to feel full why because our eyes are even bigger than our stomach because we crave we have an appetite for that food and how foolish we are if only we had the discipline the self-control if only we had the thoughtfulness and the mindfulness to contemplate and to realize is this hurtful is this harmful or is it helpful will it advance me or will it set me back and yet often too often we are so weak that we in fact engage in behavior and activity that is sabotaging their own success and our own happiness and continues the ram khal veenay kamosha is chapter 15 acquiring abstinence how to acquire that attitude of discipline and of sovereignty hine kamosha is born in azerbaijan yes what is the secret what is the methodology what is it that's going to lead us to a life of discipline the answer is his boneners contemplativeness being thoughtful being mindful if simply i have an appetite and i indulge if i have an urge and i act then i'll get myself into trouble but if i stop and if i pause and if i think and if i contemplate if i try to understand and i try to put in perspective and in context then i'll live a life of discipline i wrote from if being mindful is the mechanism towards discipline then being mindless is exactly the path towards losing it how are we not disciplined an undisciplined life is the result of a mind list life because we're not thoughtful and we're not contemplating and we're not asking ourselves important questions and we're not present in each act and thought and speech we're simply going with the flow we're allowing momentum to carry us we're following what others are doing if thoughtfulness leads to discipline then thoughtlessness leads to destruction and so does so do our associations who we hang out with who we are with the peer pressure that's placed on us when we hang out writes with magnets and people of high society who pursue and define their lives and the value in them only by honor and by vanity ef it's not possible if you hang out with people of vanity if you hang out of people who crave things and crave honor and subscribe to superficial then you're going to crave and want those same things and it will bring about destruction when we see that display of splendor when we see the ostentatiousness when we see the grandeur then the passions are aroused within us we want it we crave it and we'll do anything to get it we'll cut corners we'll make mistakes we'll have clouded judgment we'll sabotage relationships and we'll step on people and even if we succeed writes to in not allowing our inclination or our desire our temptation to be our ends even if we succeed in not allowing it to destroy us and to vanquish us nonetheless we don't escape without a struggle uh and this is what the wisest of all men malek said in koheles in the ecclesiastes tov la it's better to go to a house of mourning than to a house of partying and festivity that doesn't mean it's better to be sad than happy of course we want to subscribe to happiness and we want to merit to attend and participate in happy occasions and events but what it means is in a house of mourning is a place of reflection introspection it's a place where we talk about a life and a legacy in a house of partying it's frivolous in a house of partying it's all about the pursuit of hedonistic pleasure and so if a person had a choice between the two says better to go the house of mourning better to reflect on our mortality better to search and seek for meaning in our lives than to go to a house of festivities than to go to a house of a party the akame nakolu is bodhidus and more valuable than anything and there's so much to say about this more valuable than anything is his bodhidus people think that he's voted this the notion of spending time by ourselves having a conversation with the almighty where we have shut off and disconnected from everything and everyone around us where we are just experiencing just being hispodedus solitude our greatest leaders were shepherds because only in the field disconnected from others did they think did they contemplate were they in conversation with the almighty and with themselves and we live in a world of noise we live in a world of noise pollution we live in a world where it's so hard to carve the space to just be to think to contemplate to aspire to have drive to have conversation yuck more precious more valuable than anything is his bodhidus just as it removes worldly pleasures from your sight it removes the desire from the heart you see if the whole path towards discipline is mindfulness and the path towards destruction is mindlessness then the key to being more mindful is spending time with your mind is being in contact and in conversation with your mind and that is only done with his bodhidus it's done when we're willing and able to be alone we don't always need to be stimulated when we don't always need noise around us king david already praised he already praised the practice of his bodhidhis of being able to be contemplative to be alone to be in solitude to be in conversation with our creator um he said in telugu psalms chapter 55 meeting if only i had wings to fly like a dove i would fly to a place far away to dwell i would wander a far and sleep in the wilderness he's not trying to be away it is not allergic to being with people he means for periods of time to be able to disconnect to be alone to think to be in conversation today we are in pain we always need noise and sound and radio and podcast and talk and conversation and beeping and buzzing and vibrating we always need something to stimulate us but to just be to just exist that's where breakthrough happens yes we find the prophets they would find a place to be alone on the mountain shepherds in the field our early pious leaders would follow in those footsteps if you want to live mindfulness which leads to discipline then you need to think about what are we up against what are we confronting what are we battling who do we want to be how do we get there how do we make a goal and a resolution and how do we chart a path to be to acquire to attain it this was the most effective means to acquire discipline which would protect us from being caught up in the folly of our contemporaries the world around us is pursuing and chasing an elusive happiness and pleasure they think it will bring them the joy they're looking for but it leaves a vacuum a hollow emptiness his vodados spend some time designate time every day a little time a few minutes not every time in your card you have to turn something on to listen to not every time you have to go for a walk they have to put in earphones not all the time do we have to be in conversation with others we're allowed to be in conversation with ourselves and conversation with the almighty um the acquisition of discipline demands caution not to think that we can jump ahead or leap to the ultimate goal in a moment's time you can't skip steps you can't try to jump ahead or expedite the process eli yeah slowly slowly methodically little by little add he's voted this for one minute one minute a day turn your phone on airplane mode disconnect turn everything off close your eyes and have a conversation just think just be and then you'll add a second third minute fourth minute don't announce to begin with an hour a day he's voted us an hour a day i heard rab nachman i ordered moshe weinberger i heard of this or of that an hour one minute start with one minute slowly surely little increment achieved until we create new habits new customs until we become habituated to a life of discipline ki yoshi and then it will become second nature to us second nature to be thoughtful and mindful second nature to be aware and involved in everything we say think and do second nature to be disciplined which will elevate us to higher and higher levels and with that we conclude the media of precious of how to live a life of discipline stay tuned 845 we're going to go to living with a moon i hope you'll join us as always i invite you to subscribe to our youtube channel please if you haven't already subscribe and you'll be notified in real time every time we have a learning opportunity join us 8 45 for living with amuna join us tonight at 9 00 p.m special edition behind the bmw with a very very special guest until next time stay high