Ten Minutes of Meaning (Part 123): Don't Shop on an Empty Stomach - Mesillas Yesharim

good morning vocative welcome back to our weekly 10 minutes of meaning so incredibly appreciative to our dear friends kanye lenny skurnstein for sponsoring this series this year in memory of mr aaron timber honey's father aaron ben yitzchak if you'd like to sponsor a future class please email lee at brsonline.org l e e brs online dot o r g we are in the middle of our beginning very excited to begin the 15th chapter of mesela susharam has been following the brilliant formula of rapin the original 12-step program towards self-growth self-perfection towards living our best lives we began with zahira's mindfulness conscientiousness being present in all of our thoughts and all of our deeds and all of our actions and all of our speech we then move to zurizus alacrity and zeal how to be able to pursue goals and make resolutions to achieve them we then moved over to nachius how do we identify the parts of our personality what we're drawn to and distracted by that we need to purge or eliminate and then we moved over to precious how to hone that disciplined muscle how to grow with that sense of discipline of self-control of self-sovereignty so that we are not distracted or knocked off course but we can live our best selves precious means abstinence strictly speaking the technical definition but we don't like that definition precious abstinence abstinence is not a value as an enzyme to itself but the notion of being able to look at even that which is technically permissible but say i will transcend it i will be disciplined from it i will grow that disciplined muscle so that i own my things and my experiences they don't own and they don't control me so we're up to bidarch appreciates the 15th chapter which the ramkhara moshe khan teaches how to acquire abstinence what are the means and mechanisms what can we do in order to grow in how to acquire this character trait the ideal way for a person to acquire abstinence she is takala adam bagrius up the ideal way to grow with our sense of discipline is to examine and to look at to think about and reflect on the inferior nature of the pleasures of this world to look at what are the things that draw us and attract us what are the things that we easily can become vulnerable and susceptible to be addicted to and to say is it lasting is it real is it authentic is it transformational to realize that most often the answer is no that doesn't mean there aren't fine things in life one can enjoy there's nothing wrong with fine food or fine wine or a fine scotch or find pleasure there's nothing wrong and in fact hashem god the creator who programmer of us and this world want us to be able to enjoy but not over indulge and not be drawn not to do so without boundaries or filters not to do so in a sense of obsession or of addiction so the best way to grow that disciplined muscle is to think about and to reflect on what am i putting into my system take food for example why am i eating that why am i drawn to that is the right time of day to be eating is this the right quantity to be eating am i i have an appetite does my body need it and is that fuel am i putting fuel for my body for this engine for this factory or am i putting poison and if a person stops and pauses and thinks about what will be the consequence of indulging in this behavior in this pleasure in this substance will it in fact make me better a higher performer more efficient more productive will it be a better version of me or the opposite so that is the best way to grow that disciplined muscle the best way to be able to say no to be able to turn away to be able to be sovereign to be able to show that discipline is to recognize the ultimate consequence the whole methodology of the eight sahara the inclination gets us because the nickname just in that moment it suspends our thinking and it suspends our judgment and it says don't think about it don't contemplate it don't focus on it don't unpack it and don't look to the future of what the consequence of it will be just right now you have an appetite you're distracted you want it just do it that's how the yet sahara that's the methodology of the inclination and the antidote the response says is exactly the opposite be mindful be present think about and look to what is the consequence and what is the value what is it that draws us to the pleasures of the world what is it that plants that desire within us that makes it so difficult so challenging to look and to say no hu pitui haim the answer is it is the enticement of the eyes such strength such shrewdness that our eyes see we want to look at the wrong thing or we want to watch the wrong thing or we see the food or the substance or the opportunity our eyes have a vision our eyes take on an image and the eyes then trigger the heart the eyes see and the heart desires the very first mistake the very first display of poor judgment in all of history that got us expelled from the garden as the verse tells us passage embraces genesis chapter 3 and the woman eve saw that the food was good to eat and that it was desirous to the eyes the tree was attractive to gain intelligence so she took some of the fruit god said you could have it all enjoy whatever you want dive into the schmorg but here's the one station here's the one tree stay away i want you to be disciplined enjoy it's all yours for the taking but in order to be remain disciplined to be your best version to be godly here's one tree here's one fruit you can't have and what does man do what we call in the vernacular the forbidden fruit man cannot help it man dives in woman man generically the human being cannot help but specifically crave and want what is forbidden the forbidden fruit but it's very telling it's very instructive says that when the verse tells us this story what was the downfall of khaba of eve what led to this spiral to this mistake ultimately to the expulsion was taiva it looked good have you ever gone shopping on an empty stomach it's a terrible idea never go to the supermarket while you're hungry you will buy things you'll later regret you'll buy quantities you can't possibly eat you'll make mistakes in your shopping never shop on an empty stomach not because your stomach's the problem but the signal that your stomach settles your eyes and then when your eyes when you go up and down the aisles you justify the enemies donuts it's okay we came off a festive we're going to another fast day it's pesach anyway i'm not going to be disciplined in my eating i might as well finish an entire box of entimens in the car from the supermarket on the way home the one with the little crumbs on top everyone knows those are the best never shop on an empty stomach because that's the power of the eyes to entice the power of the eyes to be able to draw our attention but when a person discerns that this good that that deliciousness that that smell or fever or that pleasurable experience that it's false that it's illusory there's no permanence how do you know a pleasure which is authentic and genuinely residual impact and changes you and a pleasure which is counterfeit is fleeting it's gone and in fact you're hungry for that very thing you had almost right away again the arab amitos and that which looks so delicious so good so pleasurable often has a seed a nugget it often has something which is damaging which is unhealthy something which is negative or threatening in it so the goal is to develop a certain sense of hatred to recoil to view it as a poison that fruit i'd never put in my system those images i'd never put inside my eyes that experience i'd never put into my repertoire because it can only undo it can only damage it can only harm it can only threaten it can only sabotage whatever success i'm capable and that i desire and that i'm on my way towards achieving that's the goal of precious are the entens there's a big fat oh you i don't know if it's a no you but they're kosher it's kosher absolutely make a bracha before make a barakah afterwards is there anything wrong with once in a while having an entrepreneur's doughnut probably not ask your doctor however to be undisciplined to simply give in to an urgent appetite a desire will ultimately be our downfall our kryptonite will compromise our lives our health our well-being in every which way this is what we have to condition ourselves this is what we have to cultivate within ourselves to recognize just how flimsy what an illusion these pleasures there's a falseness we should cultivate and condition ourselves to recoil and say been there done that it leaves me feeling empty guilty and sick afterwards who wants krispy kreme i'll give the shout out to krispy kreme too because yesterday krispy kreme said you could show your vaccination card we're gonna have an entire country that doesn't have corona but is clinically obese because you can get a free krispy kreme every day the rest of the year as long as you show your vaccination card i guess we can motivate vaccination by promoting obesity again nothing wrong but it's impossible if you've had a krispy kreme right off the conveyor belt you literally cannot eat just one it's impossible the addictive nature of it it's hot it's air pocket it melts on your tongue and you finish a dozen before you look up and then you go into hyperglycemic shock in the car you feel guilty you hate yourself you feel miserable and your body is all the worse so we're we're harping on food but it's not only food it's true with an over indulgence not in moderation but to the extreme in any pleasures we should condition ourselves that once in a while a bite to satisfy a taste but to over indulge to dive right in to lack any sense of discipline or sovereignty over ourselves is and will be our downfall it is sabotaging to our physical emotional spiritual and psychological well-being so that's the meat of precious and the way to acquire it method number one and we'll pick up with it we're off next week for khalil muy but we'll pick up in two weeks hashem after pesach method number one to acquire a healthy dose of discipline is to recognize the negative and threatening quality within that which even appears pleasurable and therefore to condition ourselves to never want to overindulge because it will make us sick have you ever had the experience of eating a certain food and having a terrible terrible stomach reaction afterwards and now for the next x amount of time you can't look at that food you don't want to go near that food because you immediately viscerally react and respond you recoil and say been there done that not interested again that's true because our stomach tells us that but our mind should tell us that about so many other pleasures that look like pleasures but in fact can be threats or damaging wishing everyone a khakashvi will pick up amir hashem after pesach until then stay happy stay healthy stay holy 8 45 living with him at 9 o'clock tonight we go behind the bema with rabbi fishbein of the castrus of the sierra see have a great