Ten Minutes of Meaning (Part 117): Slippery Slope - Mesillas Yesharim

Good morning and welcome back to our 10 minutes of meaning our weekly gathering to learn Mesillas Yeshurun, the great magnum opus, the monumental work of Ram Moshe Chaim Luzzatto, the Ramchal, who gives us an instruction manual, a blueprint, a formula for how to become our best selves, how to live our most mindful and meaningful lives. Want to thank our generous sponsors for the year, dear friends Chani and Lenny Grunstein in memory of Chani's beloved father, Mr. Aaron Tambor, Aaron ben Yitzchak. Thank you so much for your generosity and your sponsorship in this class and in so many other areas as well. As you know, we're running our BRS Global Campaign asking people to be friends of BRS. If you're not a member, but you benefit, you enjoy our classes and our writing, please take a moment and go on brsonline.org/global, brsonline.org/global. Join now, do your part and help enable us to continue to inspire, to enrich, and to provide the content that we try to in order to transform your life and our lives to be part of a greater and global community. We are in Perek Yud Gimmel, we're on the 13th chapter of Mesillas Yeshurun, the middah of prishus that Ramchal has been developing for us. We began with the middah of zehirus, mindfulness, cautiousness, how to be aware and present and cognizant in everything that we are doing. We then moved over to the middah of zerizus, alacrity, zeal, how to pursue uh being our best selves, how to identify goals and make resolutions in order to pursue them, and in order to achieve them. Then we moved over to the area of nekius. Nekius is how to identify that which are the stumbling blocks, the things that distract us, the things that pull us down and pull us away, and how to eliminate them, how to move them from the area of not the battleground, well, the battleground to the conquered territory, to be able to say that while the conquered territory needs to be guarded, but it's not the daily battle anymore. And then we move over to prishus, and we've been developing the idea that we're only entitled to live with when we've proven that we can live without. If we cannot live without something, if we need to have it, if we have to have it, if we're incapable of living without it, then we can't have it. It cannot define us. It cannot be who we are. It cannot be what we need. So, we have to prove that in all these areas, even within permissible areas. We talked about the marital relationship. The marital relationship is an area where the Torah mandates pleasure. In fact, it's in this week's parsha, Mishpatim, she'er v'khsut v'onah, you're not allowed to deprive your wife. A wife shouldn't deprive a husband. She's a moralist. If they deprive one another of the pleasure of intimacy, a carnal pleasure, not a hedonistic pleasure, but a very physical pleasure, which exists. The area of intimacy is not only for procreation. In Judaism, we believe in the pleasure of intimacy, even if somebody is past procreation, even if somebody at the moment is pregnant or nursing or cannot or will not procreate. Nevertheless, there's an inherent pleasure, and the Torah the Ramchal is not denying us and is not saying one should feel guilty or one should try to lead a life of abstinence. The exact opposite. Experience the pleasure, but in moderation. Experience the pleasure, but with discipline. Experience the pleasure in a way that elevates, in a way that lifts, that doesn't bring you down, in a way that enriches, not one that depletes. That brings us up to Atil v'Adibur ein ein od issur. V'al edin Torah mutar hu. Next topic, strolling and talking. You have these walking groups, coffee clutches, groups of people who stand by the water cooler. Ein ein od dvar issur, there's nowhere in the Shulchan Aruch, you can't point to a place in the Code of Jewish Law that says you can't have a walking group, that says you can't gather at the water cooler, that says you can't get together to sip coffee and talk life. V'al edin Torah mutar hu, according to the Torah it's perfectly permissible. Kam min kama bitul Torah nimshach mimenu, kam min lashon hara, kam min hashkarim, kam min halitzanus. Nevertheless, you have to ask yourself, does that give nachas ruach? Does it make God joyous? Does it make him pride proud? Now again, socializing is a wonderful thing. Connecting with other people is beautiful, is important. What our rabbis call shalom bayis. b'vakkashah. Small talk has enormous value. There's nothing small about small talk. It's what builds bridges, it's what creates connections between people. It is what It is what creates a sense of community. But like many good things, if you overindulge, if you have no boundaries to it, it can lead in slippery slope to negative. So it says that if you get together and if it's the wrong people in the wrong circumstance and if it's undisciplined gathering, how often how often does it ultimately end up in sharing gossip and criticism? And how often does it end up in exaggerations, shalom and lies? One is to distance themselves from It's not enough to not say a lie. You have to distance yourself from the lie. So if there are people or circumstances or gatherings or social circles who when one is with them there are exaggerations and lies, there are things that are not true, there is a bending of the truth, then that's not a good place for one to be cuz we have to distance ourselves. God's signature is signet. His name is truth. And for us to truly emulate him, we have to have that loyalty, that commitment to a sense of truth. The Rebbe says because if you're willing to share a lie or believe a lie or say a lie, then you're distanced from God. God is the epitome of truth, accuracy, honesty. And the degree to which we exaggerate, the degree to which we manipulate or distort, because of distortions, manipulations, lies, exaggerations, the result is that you're distanced from the almighty. How much frivolous conversation? King Solomon says one who overindulges in speech cannot avoid making mistakes and sinning. That doesn't mean we take a vow of silence. In Judaism we love conversation. It's what builds bridges, it's what creates connections between people. It is what It is what creates a sense of community. But like many good things, if you overindulge, if you have no boundaries to it, it can lead in slippery slope to negative. So it says that if you get together and if it's the wrong people in the wrong circumstance and if it's undisciplined gathering, how often how often does it ultimately end up in sharing gossip and criticism? And how often does it end up in exaggerations, shalom and lies? One is to distance themselves from It's not enough to not say a lie. You have to distance yourself from the lie. So if there are people or circumstances or gatherings or social circles who when one is with them there are exaggerations and lies, there are things that are not true, there is a bending of the truth, then that's not a good place for one to be cuz we have to distance ourselves. God's signature is signet. His name is truth. And for us to truly emulate him, we have to have that loyalty, that commitment to a sense of truth. The Rebbe says because if you're willing to share a lie or believe a lie or say a lie, then you're distanced from God. God is the epitome of truth, accuracy, honesty. And the degree to which we exaggerate, the degree to which we manipulate or distort, because of distortions, manipulations, lies, exaggerations, the result is that you're distanced from the almighty. How much frivolous conversation? King Solomon says one who overindulges in speech cannot avoid making mistakes and sinning. That doesn't mean we take a vow of silence. In Judaism we love conversation. It's what builds bridges, it's what creates connections between people. It is what It is what creates a sense of community. But like many good things, if you overindulge, if you have no boundaries to it, it can lead in slippery slope to negative. So it says that if you get together and if it's the wrong people in the wrong circumstance and if it's undisciplined We love interaction. Again, we love the bridges that are built by the communications that we share with one another. But, you can't overindulge, and you can't speak too freely, and you can't have no filter. Because when one does, then they end up violating all of these boundaries and something which is supposed to be an instrument or a tool for growth and for connection, unfortunately and tragically accomplishes or achieves or achieves the the opposite. Kol ha'olam dover, here is the rule says the Ramchal. All the dealings of the world, we are spiritual beings, we're souls. We are a soul that has a body, we're not a body that has a soul. But, our soul struggles, our soul battles, our soul is housed by that body, and we spend our time, our finite time in this world with the soul trying to direct the body to make the right decisions, not the body and its temptations, desire, and appetite trying to hijack the soul in the other direction. So, the world is filled with sakana, with dangers. Look around the world. Look at obesity. Look at blood pressure. Look at the type 2 diabetes. Look at the type of health absolute health challenges and crises that have arisen because of the challenges of of this world. Not everybody, there's genetic these things that are out of our control. I'm not looking to assign blame, it's simply an observation of the empirical reality. Look how many marriages have failed because people gave in to temptation. Look how much health is failing because people are giving in to temptation. Look how many people go into debt because they give in to temptation. The world is filled with sakana atzumos. You have to first be able to name the monster. You have to to mong us the monster. You have to first be able to identify and recognize that there are grave, grave dangers and threats. Eihu lo yishuv mishiyarto le malek mahem, and the world is extremely dangerous, and you cannot extol one who wishes to flee and distance himself greatly from them. A person who says, "You know, the more I indulge, then the more health challenges I have. And the more that I talk and flirt and communicate, the more present I am on social media, the more images and icons and ideas that I'm seeing, then the more dis- less discipline I struggle I struggle to be disciplined. I struggle to make the right decisions. I struggle to not act out. And so says the Ramchal, kol hadavor, therefore you have to say, a person who's trying to transcend, a person who's living in an extraordinary high level of discipline and sovereignty, a person who is making tremendous personal choices, showing extreme ownership in their life, and thereby attaining real freedom. Is that not something worth admiring? Is that not something worth striving and aspiring for? Zeh inyan avriah sh'atav, and this is the idea of the positive type of an abstinence. Shelo yikach min ha'olam shemusha shemusha shemusha minenu, ela mashu muchrach me'et ha'Shem lo betivo elav. It means, don't indiscriminately enjoy this world. Don't just enjoy the world because you want it. But with each enjoyment, ask yourself, do I need it? What will it do for me? What slippery slope might it lead to? What the future? A person has to have a certain level of foresight, and to be able to anticipate that if I enjoy this moment, if I indulge in this material physical object or experience or interaction, what might the consequences what might the unintended consequences be? What might the unforeseen consequences be? It's just a different level of mindfulness, and it's a different level of decision-making. Not do I want not will it feel good, but is it good and is it right? Not will it make me happy, but will it make me holy? It's a different set of criteria through which we make the decisions and through which to choose the lifestyle that we live. Hu mashma Rebbi Yehudah Nasi zacharti, and this is what Rebbi Yehudah Nasi, the great prince, the extraordinarily wealthy redactor of our Mishnah, extolled himself in the previously mentioned passage. We said the a feeling of he was the prince. He was the leader of the Jewish community. He was extraordinarily wealthy and yet he testified about himself that he never took a personal pleasure. Maybe he had a magnificent home. It was to have parlor meetings and it was to host all the guests and everyone who needed and it was to honor the Shabbos and the Yom Tov. And it was to be able to reunite the children and the family. So he says about himself, maybe I have all the wealth in the world but I've never personally enjoyed any part of it for my own personal gain. It has all been towards some greater good. It's all been towards a calculation or a strategy of a higher and a greater value. When Rivka goes to ascertain what's happening when she feels all this action and activity inside her womb, and she's told there are two nations. The nations are Rebbe, Rebbe Yehudah HaNasi, the great Nasi, the great redactor of the Mishnah, and Antoninus, the great Roman general. Neither of their table was lacking in anything. Two nations, the leaders both extremely wealthy. You start to indulge in a pleasure. We had a program on Monday night. You can find it on YouTube and by the way, subscribe channel and you will be notified of all classes, programs, conversations, and panels in real time. But we had a conversation on Monday night with two people who are in or who have graduated a recovery program. Recovery's never over. You manage, you never solve or conquer. They shared their story and it was to launch a new initiative between Book and Synagogue and Onward Living, an adopt program matching families in our shul with people in recovery. But these two very, very courageous men shared their story of how they got into addiction to begin with. And it starts here. There's an appetite, there's an indulgence, there's an experiment, there's something recreational. And this not to suggest that anyone who has a glass of wine is going to become an alcoholic. Wine and food and pleasure have a very significant role in Jewish life. We don't eliminate them. We don't take a vow of abstinence from them. But it means we do so strategically. We do so thoughtfully. We do so mindfully. And we do so in a way that elevates us and lifts us, not the opposite or brings us down. We'll pick it up next week. 8:45, 15 minutes, tune back in here for Living with Emunah. And I urge you and I beseech you and I ask you personally, if you enjoy this class or any of my classes, if you love learning together, if you love the articles that come out, please, if you're not a BRS member, do your part. Be a friend of BRS. Be part of the global community. Take a moment right now between the two classes or if you're listening to this later on any device, take a moment before you move on to the very next thing to say thank you and to do your part and to help enable us to continue to spread Torah. brsonline.org/global, brsonline.org/global. You can make a donation of any size in honor, in memory, in tribute. We appreciate you could do so anonymously or in your name. Thank you. 9:00 tonight, we're going behind the Bima. Naftali Bennett, with the member of Knesset, former minister and candidate for prime minister, a childhood friend of mine, Naftali Bennett, to hear his vision, to hear what drove him into politics after being a enormously successful entrepreneur in high-tech. Join us 9:00 p.m. tonight to go behind the Bima. Until then, stay happy, stay healthy, and stay holy.