Ten Minutes of Meaning (Part 107): Not All About You - Mesillas Yesharim

good morning boca raton welcome back to our 10 minutes of meaning missiles isharam our study of the monumental work is magnum opus is a fantastic guide to how to live our best lives yet how to fulfill our purpose in being here how to be as complete and whole as we possibly can i want to thank our generous sponsors for the year kanye lenny grunstein who sponsored in memory of khani's beloved father mr aaron tambor aron ben yitzhak thank you for your generosity and anyone would like to sponsor a particular class please email lee at brsonline.org leahprsonline.org and we welcome your sponsorship we are still in the middle of parikh yur alev chapter 11 where the ramkal has been describing to us the media of nikhias the quality of cleanliness how can we purge from ourselves how can we remove from ourselves the negative temptation the negative draw the negative distractions we've hopefully grown in zehiros in mindfulness we're aware we're conscientious we're mindful of our thoughts our speech and our action we are hopefully grown in zurich's alacrity we've set goals and we're pursuing them we make resolutions and we have a plan about how to achieve them and now we're up to nikeis and we're trying to purge and rid from ourselves to move from the area as we've described from the battleground to conquered territory conquered territory needs to be defended but it's not a battleground it's not a place where there's still a daily fight so whether it's our eating or profanity or punctuality whether it's our envy or our anger and most recently honor we're identifying all these attributes and qualities where we're trying to grow and we're trying to improve ourselves to live our best selves imagine what life would look like if you didn't get angry and you weren't filled with envy and you didn't grow frustrated imagine what life would look like if you didn't pursue honor imagine how enriched your relationships would be imagine how magnificent life would be if you went to sleep every night and when you rest your head on your pillow you feel a sense of accomplishment a sense of pride a sense of having lived life with enthusiasm and alacrity and going to pursue exactly who we are meant to be we can that's the media of nikias is the capacity to try to grow in these areas the capacity to purge from ourselves the temptation to be otherwise it's why we're here rafitner whose your site is around now the great review says the truth of the matter is that the power of change is the greatest innovation after the wonder of the creation of heaven and earth after the magnificent sense that god created the world heaven and earth that creation of course is ex nil or something from nothing the greatest act ever we become partners in creation when we recreate ourselves it parallels the creation of the universe when we grow in our middos and we recreate our sense of selves okay so we're up to chapter 11 we're dealing with the quality of kavod those who pursue honor if you chase honor honor runs away from you and if you run away from honor honor runs after you and we live in a world that defines self-worth whether we are meaningful or consequential how many friends how many followers how many reposts how many retweets how much have we been honored at the dinner and so on and so forth cloud hadvaram says that sorry says that here's the summary of sales the desire for honor is what grips the person's heart more than any other worldly want and desire value laysan without it if you didn't live for honor if we didn't compete and compare ourselves with others and want the honor and distinction we'd be satisfied whatever we had to eat if it filled our belly in whatever home we lived if it covered our head whatever car we drove if it got us from point a to point b what's the problem and we wouldn't be competing we wouldn't need honor because house the nicest car the fanciest clothing jewelry most aspentation simcha it's that pursuit of honor of recognition of wanting to stand out that pushes us now sometimes there's a healthy competitiveness as we've shared before kennesaw from competition among scholars increases wisdom so if somebody is pushed to publish if somebody is pushed to be much if somebody is pushed to learn to grow to know then that's a very healthy competitiveness competitiveness doesn't say you know i want that instead of my neighbor but i admire that and i want that like my neighbor i also want that marriage i also want those children i also want to feel that connection to hashem i also want to be involved in that learning or growing if a person is driven not to compete in lou or instead not in a win-lose paradigm but a win-win paradigm where you could have it but i also want it then it's a healthy drive can i sew from tab that's a healthy push but if the drive is i want that instead of you if you have it i don't and i want to have it and you won't if it's a win-lose paradigm then everybody loses person canadore seeing himself humiliated a person can't imagine that they're lower than their peers and you enter into the fray with no end in sight to all of that labor you know and caribbean when i learned in yeshiva rivlin who used to say nobody's upset they don't get nali on a tuesday or a wednesday how come nobody's upset they don't get an alia on a tuesday or a wednesday or a friday because nobody else gets an alia either you don't read the torah those days when does one get upset why is he getting another aaliyah why is he called why is he getting the covered it's called the cover keyboard i keep it at a wedding or a keyboard and davening why does he get this keyboard this covered and i don't if nobody gets it you're not upset so that says we should live our lives as if every day nobody's getting it what they're getting is none of my business my life is my business their life is not and therefore i have to do the best i can and i have to learn the media of his topic is to be satisfied with what i have what i have is what i meant to have it's what i'm determined that i need we read in this powershell we spoke in the class yesterday that isa and yaakov reunite after 34 years and asap says yeshli rav i've got a lot look at all this i have a lot and yaakov says yeashley cole we have a miso we come from a tradition of i have everything by definition what i have is everything i need hako bako miko ko that's what we dabbed from harahama ibaraku son of escola i shall bless us in the sense of coal that ability to be happy with what i have i don't need honor i don't need more i don't need more fame more spotlight i don't need to monopolize the conversation but rather i could stay in my lane i'm accuracy como i know my place okay therefore rabbi say in turkey elvis there are three things that remove a person from the world and they are jealousy lust drive temptation and the pursuit of honor if i live my life evaluating my life by what other people have i'm competing i'm comparing jealousy and taiva lust and the pursuit of honor it removes me from the world what does that mean motifs i think it's rabindra yonah who says what it means is it defeats and defies the purpose of creation why did god create a world for the world to stand on torah the world should stand on these three pillars oh and that's why he created the world so if you instead of pursuing torah the study of torah values avodah the being of service davening prayer connection to god and giving this caring about giving to other people then the world has no foundation upon which to rest that's why the world was created it's why we're here it's why he created this whole experiment this whole enterprise and what are the things that remove us that defeat the purpose of creation they are jealousy lust and honor says ravenna yonah that's not why we're here we've defeated the very reason we're here but i once heard another beautiful explanation min haola means the whole world if you remember all the way back to the beginning of when we started whenever we started i don't even remember the messenger began and he said how do we evaluate why we're here the name of the chapter was the bear called us what is the khovah what is the reason we're here he spoke about duties and responsibility versus rights and privileges and he writes he sort of the root of of serving hashem faithfully of piety she is barbie sami says a person should clarify and discover the truth what is my duty what is my responsibility why am i in my world but ulamo in his world it doesn't say o love in the world it says in his world every one of us is our own world we each have our own dna we have our own genetics we each have our own background we have our own personality we each have our own baggage which are of our own opportunity we each have our own um of our own challenges we each have our own talents and skills which have our own liabilities each of us is our own world all together we're our own world how do we keep our world stable how do we create an equilibrium in our world how do we find health and happiness in our world by involving engaging in torah when our day includes within it the study and the living of torah the values of torah when it includes prayer avoid the being of service when it includes game caring about others then our world is balanced our world is stable our world is healthy but when our day consists of jealousy and giving to lust and pursuing honor it's motivation then it extracts it takes us out of our world our world is knocked off kilter our world is knocked off its axis we don't have health we can't have happiness [Music] rabbi how many say you know i'm not taking a job that pays me less than six figures do you know who i am do you know what i'm worth do you know what i'm capable of do you know what i used to make and therefore they earn zero instead of earning something their family suffers they suffer they rely on the community all because honor gets in the way i don't mean to minimize it's a difficult difficult circumstance to be in that position and yet we have to put our own ego aside ego undermines so much it absolutely compromises and sabotages relationships mental health emotional health physical health spiritual health we have to put that ego aside ego is healthy if it's self-preservation if it gives us ambition and drive but too much indulgence and ego and covered in honor it absolutely sabotages our health our happiness is their foolishness greater than this and is there anything more inane it brings to idleness and stagnation with the ghazalian stealing they call goofy alveros the person who pursues honor who thinks they deserve better who whose ego is inflated will make critical mistakes their judgment is impaired and they'll end up sabotaging their very happiness because they never want to denigrate their honor if it's all about honor all about ego all about me then i can't see clearly i can't have good judgment i won't make good decisions i can't experience healthy and good relationships we'll end here for now we'll pick up and conclude with uh the emphasis on honor next week stay tuned in 20 minutes 8 45 living with a munism youtube channel and tonight 9pm we go behind the bema with our yellow gold will announce a new upcoming amazing video very excited to go behind the with rabbi yellow gold until next time stay happy stay healthy and stay holy have a fantastic day