Telling Your Embarrassing Secrets To Rabbi and A Friend | Torat HaChassidut (18)

so what would he do Kusa would say zusa zusa what did you do what did you do why did you might violate the Shabbat why why you violate Shabbat you light a cigarette on Shabbat Z why why why why why why why and the guy's hearing this what the rabbi is Ving Shabbat I also smoked a cigarette on Shabbat and he smoked a cigarette on Shabbat AAA then as soon as somebody you heard somebody coming in you turned off the cigarette that's another sin OHA why did you turn off the cigarett another sin you know how much you how many years you're going to be get on for that that happened to me the guy's thinking how that happened to me and then after that you thought that is not watching because your wife was not watching you thought was not watching either so you light the heart you told her you going to go out to the synagogue but you didn't go to the synagogue you went and you made some sins you may made some sins with some other lady and you thought that doesn't watch because your wife doesn't watch why did you do that zusa why why why did you do that you know how many years and getting old you're going to get burned you know how many years and getting know they're going to grip you up to Pieces a zusa why did you do that and the guy's like why does we know all this stuff back here on our wedes on our Sunday night uh it's been a while on a Sunday night uh to uh learn more and more about how to fix ourselves tonight's Sho is uh sponsored by our dear friends Jonas Haley and his dear wife family and uh is going to be for the for them and also [Music] for ran Leana SAR s Leana aavid Ben and all of and all the righteous noahides for those of you that want to support and want to help us continue publicizing the Torah all over the world uh you can donate at be.org our website uh or many other places uh that we have on YouTube on uh uh Facebook donations and uh the website has now many other options that we didn't have before you could do uh month L donations to uh make it a habit to uh donate not just by credit card but you could also donate via Bitcoin you could uh donate uh directly from the bank if you're located in the US it's uh called a if you want to save yourself the uh the expense as far as uh if it bothers you that the credit card cost money everything cost money but uh uh the a is one option that you have now uh and of course you could always uh wire and send checks and so on like some of you already do uh so with that being said um another reminder for everyone that uh if you haven't ordered or even if you have but uh there's still more need in your community you could get uh the uh books and uh the um sh posters for free on our kir store at kir store.org uh so with that being said we have uh the T Katan and really the Sati Katan has really uh helped us rewire our brains for anyone that's been paying attention and has been uh applying this to their life in any aspect whether it completely uh or even partially this has certainly helped quite a bit quite a bit rewire our brain think correctly uh based on not just the teachings ofid and what really stands for uh but ALS also uh for for anyone that wants to simply be a better person uh be a better person in every aspect and uh theat based on the you know teachings of Rens is not going to go step further which is finding a friend finding a friend finding a rabbi these are two different things but uh many people combine them as the mishna in the first chapter the sixth mishna as a famous mishna it's also another place that in the M talks about finding yourself a rabbi or uh but the key is Yeshua B Baraka says get yourself a rabbi and buy yourself a friend and Yeshua bin paraka famously was the rabbi uh of uh uh Jesus and of course Jesus was a wicked person that uh did not listen to his rabbi did not treat his Rabbi uh the way rabbis are supposed to be treated but uh unfortunately uh rabai there are many little jesuses around uh in the world today that consider themselves religious consider themselves uh you know going in the right direction without even realizing that they're literally going in the path of Jesus uh and uh one of the things that uh we're going to see here is what is what's the difference number one between a rabbi and a friend second L what kind of friend am I looking for you know usually when people look for friends they're looking for uh somebody to party with somebody to have a barbecue with somebody to watch the game with somebody to do business with all types of other things that people use their friends for uh somebody to borrow money from uh you know say all types of reasons of why people get friends uh but uh you know I think they uh they want benefits for for their friends and for or those that uh are thinking otherwise uh you know in other ways to benefit but the point being is is that uh the Titi Katan is telling us now to get ourselves a rabbi to get ourselves a friend now what is he referring to about getting a friend I mean uh how is the friend of the T Katan different than the friends that uh you have right now uh many people sometimes are um live uh a certain life where they uh especially when they're young uh but this sometimes will uh fall into people that are a little older in their 20s and even 30s where they're uh almost their perception of Happiness uh is based on who is their friends uh they feel like they uh they need to have friends around them all the time they need to have people to uh to drink coffee with or to have a beer with or whatever it is and uh Rashi said that uh if you want friends read the you know read the commentaries in the toah uh those are the real friends why why is that a real friend I mean you can't have a beer with the the balet toot you can have have a uh a drink or watch the game with r AA how are those friends well let's see so T Katan starts off by saying this tell your spiritual mentor or even your trusted friend all the improper thoughts you have that are against the holy tah which the evil inclination brings to your mind and Heart during Torah study in prayer when you lie in your bed or in the middle of the day don't conceal anything from him out of embarrassment for the relating for by relating and giving voice to these things you break the power of the evil inclination making it unable to overcome you to the same degree at a later time Additionally you may receive good advice from your friend on how to follow God's way this is an amazingly effective practice so already the uh Katan is telling us that this spiritual Mentor call it the rabbi or uh this trusted friend is very very much a world of difference from the friends that people are looking for because here this is in essence the same thing of what the mishna told us to get yourself a rabbi to get yourself a friend is not referring to somebody to have a good time with uh although you're not forbidden from uh having uh celebrations as long as the celebrations are obviously kosher and proper and uh in in uh still following in the path of God uh the key is to know that finding yourself a rabbi or a friend is not for the sake of oh I like the way he talks or I like a uh you know he has a big big house so no no this is in essence something very very different you're looking for a rabbi or a spiritual mentor and a trusted friend that you're going to be able to confide in now of course this removes the overwhelming majority of people that are in your life from even being a possibility of being that friend because most people do not want to tell their embarrassing uh issues to their friends uh about uh what they think about when uh they're they're alone or what improper thoughts they had or you know nobody wants to share those things and quite frankly as one of the great mhim told my dear R many years ago probably uh 25 years ago or so uh in today's world uh you have to be very careful of who you tell uh which so-called friend you tell your secrets to because L they use that against you uh whether it's the public ize it against you or blackmail you or doing anything like that so a person has to zip it when it comes to the vast majority of their friends and simply not say anything uh and that's the reason why the just like the connect Rabbi and friend always together meaning that they have to be in an elevated status it cannot just be anybody it has to be somebody whether it be a rabbi or it be a friend it has to be somebody that can uplift you closer to the D of hem closer to the ways of hem and one of the things that uh caused Yos Jesus to fail uh and fail miserably and anyone that wants to know more and more details can watch my lectures about that topic that I've had over the years the cabalistic secrets uh behind Jesus or that Jesus hate his Rabbi or different lectures that I've made about this topic uh over the years uh one of the main things that happened with Jesus was the fact that even though he had a rabbi and even though his Rabbi was great Yeshua binaka was one of the zot this is even before the generation of RAB AKA uh so yesu bakia was one of the great sages of am Isel uh but at the same token Jesus didn't view him that way he uh not only treated him as as if he is equal to him but he actually treated him as if he's less than him where Jesus was looking at the woman that was uh running the uh the uh the Inn that they were staying in and he thought that she was ugly and he told his Rabbi oh yeah she's uh she's ugly thinking that the rabbi is also looking at the girl because he has a dirty mind and he's looking at women inappropriately he thinks that his Rabbi is looking at the women inappropriately also this is unfortunately very common uh where uh people uh think that their rabbis think the same thing like they do uh because they have dirty minds they think that since the rabbi is a human being he probably also has a dirty mind he probably also thinks like me if he thinks like you he's not a rabbi needless to say he's not your Rabbi and if he doesn't think like you why do you put thoughts in his head why do you assume that he's thinking like you why do you assume that he even has a any concept of of of these types of thoughts because if he is a real if he is somebody that's working on himself on a regular basis these things don't go into their minds and that's one of the things that uh Jesus failed at miserably where he uh simply saw his Rabbi as an equal or perhaps not equal 100% but close not too far away you know those types of people say well yeah he's smarter than me he knows more information to me but at the end of the day he still puts his uh pant on one leg at a time just like me meaning in so many words we're the same thing it's just that he read a few more books than me so and the same so here uh you have a major failure the other thing is that he uh disagreed with his Rabbi and this is even more coming even for those people that say that their rabbis are greater than them and even if they're not talking about their rabbis they're talking about the great sages the great of whether it be the r or the Stiers or rash or RAB AKA or or RAB Shimon it doesn't make a difference who it is the ram people have the audacity to disagree with as if what's the difference what's the difference between me disagreeing with the police officer that stopped me saying that I'm speeding when I I wasn't and RAB AA that says that I'm doing wrong and I don't think I am in essence what they're doing is they're iing the greatness of the that dedicated their life to the Tora that literally understand things that are Beyond human comprehension and I could just you know tell you guys and I've told you guys in the past the more you learn to the more frustrated you get by the mentality of the ignoramuses of the world uh that of how they view because what ends up happening is you learn more toah you learn more complicated issues and uh what ends up happening you start realizing wait to me I'm learning this and it's extremely complicated extremely difficult I'm learning about the the uh you know the different uh aspects of uh or or different parts of the T and to me it's extremely difficult to even understand what's being written here yet these to them it's like they know it like it's the back of their hand they wrote entire volumes of books about this they have over there you know to to the extent where they know this so well and explain it so well and to me it's difficult and I'm learning it yet the person that's criticizing them doesn't even know doesn't even know any part of it nothing you ask him okay listen if you have a and uh there's a opening on both sides and it's thin uh and you want to make it a place where people can go to but it's not a public but at the same Tok it's not private either uh what can you do and they're going to look to you like huh what are you talking about what do you mean why is it open on both ends why can't you just uh go outside wh What can I put well if I put a stick at the end and I connected to the opening is that going to change anything and I'm going tell you no other than the fact that you just wasted a few minutes putting a stick there nothing's going to happen yes exactly you have no idea what's being talked about you have no idea what's being talked about here why because you don't know you don't know T you don't know anything but yet you feel you have the uh the ability to disagree with why because perhaps you watched a few videos online maybe even read a few books you know a few stories uh from the Torah that were pretty much literal that any 5-year-old could know the same thing and therefore you think you're in the same level of knowledge as the the world of diff the difference between a average person even if he learned for 20 years and is wider than the ocean but unfortunately the vast majority of people do not understand this and Jesus was one of them and therefore he felt that he can disagree with his Rabbi he could disagree with his Rabbi well listen the rabbi said this I don't have to agree that's the first failure if you think that there is any room for you to disagree with your Rabbi he is no longer your Rabbi he's no longer your Rabbi why because the gar tells us you have to have fear of the rabbi like you fear God not that the rabbi is God but rather because if you if he is your Rabbi if he's that means he's a that means he's a tah scholar he knows what he's doing that means he's giving you the words of God he's telling you exactly what God Said in ABC in every aspect of your life and if you don't believe that he's given you the words of God then you don't have a rabbi so the moment a person thinks that they can they have room to disagree with their Rabbi that's when all hell breaks loose that's when everything fails and unfortunately many times people uh fail in this particular aspect and they lose they lose in such a big way uh uh that uh they'll never be able to replace it they're simply never going to be able to replace it due to the shame due to the embarrassment and also due to the ignorance so the first thing that the is telling us here is that you have to actually have somebody in your life that is going to help you do Chua because you cannot do it on your own you can't do it on your own you know there's some people that they you know since it's much easier to get uh Torah lectures and books and everything today then other times in the past then uh people feel like they can be like an island they can be by themselves in the middle of nowhere or even if it's in the middle of a community but uh they have their uh shim that they watch they have their books that they watch and they feel like they can pin for themselves decide for themselves if they have a question they ask five different rabbis they choose whichever one they prefer whichever answer they prefer and uh you know they go shopping every time there's a question they go shopping and unfortunately what ends up happening with these people is that they become a bigger problem than they can imagine why because the uh the world that they create becomes detestable to anyone that's around them because it's all based on Gava it's all based on ego so the first thing that the is telling us is that you have to have some type of spiritual Mentor or trusted friend in your life to help you do Chua because if you're not going to have somebody you're never going to know when to go right when to go left when to do uh something when not to do it you're not going to know until after the fact where sometimes people make decisions and then they have doubts so then they ask the rabbi this is not the proper way of doing things the way to do things is first you ask then you decide how do you decide based on the answer that you got meaning the one that is more elevated and knowledgeable than you are in the ways of hasem is in essence going to make the decision for you he's not going to tell you do this or don't do this he's simply going to tell you allowed not allowed appropriate inappropriate some things are allowed but not recommended some things are allowed and recommended some things are forbidden some things are how can you possibly think that way but if you don't have that kind of relationship with anybody you can have a very difficult time if not impossible time elevating yourself beyond the standard 3 to five years Bal Chua what's the standard three to five year Bal Chua you watch some lectures you're inspired by whoever it is whether it be myself or it be some other rabbis out there you like it you hear the stories you get some inspired maybe you'll start keeping some Shabbat maybe you'll keep some kosher but you'll still stay the same that you started with meaning nothing will actually change the personality will stay the same the bad character traits will stay the same and in fact they will get worse over time because just like the promises that become sharper over time as they age the ignoramuses of the world become worse as they age so you see somebody that started off like a sharp knife lethal and capable when they first started learning T literally become a danger to society as they grow older without a rabbi without a spiritual mentor and they start doing some of the dumbest things you can possibly imagine that even a secular person that never learned to wouldn't do they'll start going to uh you know witchcraft people thinking that it's a spiritual elevation they'll start doing drugs thinking that's going to elevate their soul to uh to to higher levels they can't get through with through the books they'll start doing all types of strange things that they wouldn't have done had they stayed secular and that's why some of the even said that some people it's better off they don't do Juba why because they get worse so the T Kat is telling us that this spiritual Mentor or trusted friend is not really just a recommendation it's a musthave just like air in your lungs is a must have this is a must have now one of the great things that uh caused Jesus to fall miserably and in the same case makes many people fall uh today is a concept called Bol what's Bol to nullify yourself nullify yourself now this means that if I were to ask my Rabbi something then it doesn't matter what the answer is meaning whether I like it or dislike it agree with it or disagree with it immediately if I want to go in the D of hem and in the ways of hem immediately as the question is coming out as the issue is coming out I already know whatever he says that's what I'm doing and I'm not telling oh whatever you do I'm going to do no no no this is in essence a default why because I am nullifying my opinion my thoughts my feelings my everything else because I'm going to D you have D I need it and therefore whatever you say okay that's what I'm going to do and it doesn't matter that I disagree or that I think I know better or that I feel different it's completely irrelevant Jesus failed at this completely why he refused to be he refused to nullify himself he felt he was a gibo he felt that he was all knowing he felt he knew better than his Rabbi he felt that there's a better way to do things there's a better way to say things there's a better way to communicate there's a better way this and there's a better way that and unfortunately there's a lot of jesuses out there and unfortunately I've Had The Misfortune of meeting many of them where they refuse to nullify themselves to anyone they call a rabbi not just me to anyone they call a rabbi why because their ego gets in the way their ego does not allow them to nullify them eles they still feel like yeah but I think differently but I thought this and they'll even start arguing with Torah sources yeah but what about this and what about that and what about this now again we're not saying that you're not allowed to ask questions we're not saying that you're not allowed to to bring a uh uh in a different uh sources for things that you thought but there's a difference here when you're in the process of learning let's say you're learning the Shas together uh or you're learning the together or you're learning Al together then there's no problem you have a question you have a source you have a doubt you have anything the rabbi is there to explain the rabbi is there to address each and every issue sometimes you'll be right sometimes you'll be wrong but the point being is is that this is a time for Learning and during a time for learning this is a time to bring all the sources Under the Sun but when it's time to ask for guidance time to ask for what to do and what not to do there is no back and forth there is this is what it is that's the end now if you have questions no problem yeah but why is it I thought that this is allowed no it's not it's not has nothing to do with it no you'll get the explanations but the answer stays the same meaning don't think for a moment that just because you brought a source or you brought a question or you brought something that's going to change the answer the answer once it's given it's done why because if the rabbi or the spiritual leader is a Torah scholar that means that he already thought of all the things that you can possibly think of now if you don't think that's possible that means you do not have and when you do not have when you not have faith in the knowledge of our sages and the commitment of our Sages and the of our sages then unfortunately you're going to have a very very difficult time in your progress sometimes people come to me for guidance and I tell them listen the way you're going about it is is not the right way you're trying to convince your wife let's say or your husband to do Chua but you're trying to do it like you heard it in a you heard me uh yell and scream about a certain issue and you think that you can do that with your husband and wife it's not going to work when I'm speaking to the public it's one thing when I speak to the individual it's something completely different when you're speaking to your children it's one thing when you speaking to your spouse it has to become something completely different if you speak to your spouse the same way you speak to your children or your employees it's not going to work out why it's completely different relationship now if a person refuses to change and they think that they can do whatever they want whenever they want that means that no one can help them why the ego is too big in their life for any truth to seep in hence the reason why says someone that has a big ego I cannot be in the same room as him even though there's nothing else but him and he's all encompassing and he's everywhere he says I can't be in the same room as this person that has a big ego not because hem has limitations Shalom but rather because he won't let me in even if I'm standing right in front of him he will not acknowledge it why his ego is in the way her ego is in the way and she will not be receptive to what D is so when tells us find yourself a spiritual Mentor a trusted friend to tell all of your improper thoughts that are against the holy tah he's not just talking about your best friend from high school or just somebody that lives on the same block as you he's talking about finding somebody that is elevated above and beyond where you are where you are willing to nullify yourself to that person meaning whatever they say that's what I do if you say well I haven't found anybody like that then the problem is usually with you rather than with people why cuz there's plenty of people that are greater than you and if you don't think that either you live in the middle of the zoo or you are the zoo there's no way that there's no greater people than you if you live in a Jewish Community with Torah Scholars and needless to say today with the internet and and and ready readily uh uh available from all over the world that are uh willing and able to help you still can't find somebody either you live in a zoo or you are the zoo and usually it's the latter why because people are not willing to nullify thems so now when a person thinks about this and their ego gets in the way and they say well why should I nullify myself he learns and I learn he does and I do I'm a good person he's what what's okay I'm willing to listen to him but why do I have to nullify myself why do I have to limit myself why do I have to shut myself up because you do it anyway in other places how when you go to the doctor anyone that's old enough has been to the doctor and what do you go when you go to the doctor the first thing without even realizing it you subconsciously nullify yourself already assuming the doctor knows better than you based on his credentials based on his profession based on his experience same thing you do with a lawyer same do you with any expert so you walk into the office doesn't matter if you are a a billionaire or you're a millionaire or you're this or that it doesn't make a difference soon as you go you sit on the same little bench that's not really appropriate for sitting on more like laying on but nonetheless you sit there and tell them all your problems yeah well you know my my shoulder hurt but then on Tuesday uh I don't know what happened the my leg started hurting and then when my wife yelled at me then my foot started hurting and then why you telling them all these things why you tell them all the because you're nullifying yourself in essence you're giving him all of the information and of course there's much more embarrassing information you're going to tell them also that other places hurt that other things happened that other performances weren't able to perform without any quals about it without any issues about it you're going to have no problem whatsoever telling the doctor all of your embarrassing things you're going to have no problem telling the lawyer all of the embarrassing things yeah you know I had the secretary and then we made a wire transfer but then we found out that really wasn't allowed and then we took and then we this but can you defend us anyway but can you do this you can tell them all the different things why because you already know that if you don't tell this doctor lawyer whatever it is all the details you're tying their hands and making them incapable of helping you so when you go to the doctor when you go to the lawyer when you go to all the other things you have to nullify yourself in order to get the help that you that you uh need and you have no problem doing it people generally do not have a problem communicating with their doctors or lawyers or whatever other professional but when it comes to when it comes to a Torah scholar that's usually when the problem comes in why people are willing to tell all the tell some of the secrets so long as it does not make them look too bad but even more so so long as the rabbi is going to tell them what they want to hear but the minute that they get something from the rabbi they don't want to hear oh you offend me oh I can't believe you said that oh my wife is upset at you now oh my this my that wife is upset at me who who asked who asked you about whether your wife is upset or not upset you asked me a question I gave you an answer whether your wife is upset or not upset or you're upset or not upset that's your problem it's not my problem my problem is to make sure that I have the time and the ability and the knowledge to answer and address your issues my problem is not your emotional roller coaster that's not my problem oh no we're going to find we're going to find a different Rabbi go thank you very much you've relieved me from this burden people do not understand where they stand and what ends up happening is they make a series of bad choices because their ego is in in the way and they're not willing to nullify themselves this is the unfortunate mistake that caused Jesus to get as bad as he was it wasn't just that he saw his Rabbi in the same level it wasn't just that he doubted his Rabbi but worse than all he wasn't willing to be he wasn't willing to nullify himself and the moment you are that person do not see yourself anything different than a little Jesus just in the makings perhaps you're not going to have as much of a damaging effect on the world as he did but for sure you could already bet more than you're betting on the Super Bowl and all the other stupid things that people bet on then you're going to have a damage on your life and on the people around you why a person that's not willing to nullify themsel to Torah Scholars is simply a g Jesus in the making that's all it is that's who he was that's the damage that came this is what's happening in the world today many people are simply not willing to nullify themselves on the other hand they view oh wow look at this guy he's such a sadik look at that guy he's such sadik you know what if these people that you view a real sikim do you know what they all have in common they all nullify themselves in front of the rabbis and not just their Rabbi any Torah scholar any Torah scholar why because the the appreciation for Torah has no limits this is why some of the great when their children would come home they would ask them they would give them kisses on their heads and ask them for blessings or or give them all types of treats why they learn toah this precious little gem that's my child just learned wow when their kids answered a question or gave a story they appreciated it no different than as if R vya himself came back from ganed and told the story and went back why because they understood this is the word of Hashem this child just gave the word of Hashem so the appreciation for Torah Scholars people that have dedicated 20 30 40 50 70 years to the toah obviously grows much more than a child when a person does not have an understanding of this then unfortunately they're going to have a very very difficult life because they're not going to be able to solve their problems uh with with the Tor because Torah is a tool for people to solve any problem that they have live a successful and happy life extraordinary marriage happy happiness with their kids satisfa all the good things you could possibly a blessed life so long as you are willing to put your head down and know that's the final opinion there is no other opinion and as long as you don't have that in your life unfortunately it's very very difficult to progress as theat is explaining here where he's telling us that this spiritual mentor and trusted friend is a person that you are going to confide in and tell all of your improper thoughts to that are against the Torah that you thought about getting into the some inappropriate business whether it be the evil cash advanced business that unfortunately is spreading like cancer in Israel in America all over the world all types of people that have zero credibility are vouching for it as if they have credibility I've even heard phone calls training phone calls from these people of how they train their staff literally from the be even if you exclude the actual illegality and Corruption of the business itself let's just say they were selling lollipops or they're selling Q-tips to hotel chains doesn't matter the conversation the sales conversation or the training conversation to their own staff that are just processing loans is a Lie from the beginning of the call Until the End literally compulsive disgusting liars and this is growing like wildfire people are going into this business and now there's even a another amalik force that is empowering them further they're going into what's called debt settlements some of them are opening debt settlements and debt uh consolidation all types of so-called debt services but again another problematic business that's full of corruption they're going under the same umbrella of the cash advance companies some are opening a you know a second company as if to make them uh two uh two different umbrellas when one fails the other one will back up the other one the point being is the horrific corruption is growing and why is it growing because they're able to recruit more innocent naive gullible and greedy people to work for them when you answer one of those ads that they have in the WhatsApp groups or on the Internet to get a job with high commissions and so on and you're interested even after you found out it's cash advance and you know that it's not allowed that means that the corruption is not just with them it's in your n and you're starting to argue way but maybe it's allowed because it's this and because it's that you're not understanding says it's forbidden that says it's forbidden and I've told you guys once and I've told you guys twice and I've say it a million times if I have to any that is has the the the the knowledge and the goal to dispute it let them write an answer a real chuva disputing what we have in in the seph by our own dear ra that shows how illegal this business is and against the Torah let him write a real chuva not just say no no it's allowed then just not understanding let him write a chuva nobody in the world is going to be able to write a chuva and no person that's allowing it truly understands how predatory lending is destroying the world and how it's literally empowering amalik but Merchant Cas advaned business and all other types of corrupt businesses are growing around the world including the Jewish Community not just in the Jewish Community including in the Jewish Community because corruption is all over the world doesn't matter what where where you go any business is corruption but this cancer unfortunately is something people still ask about even though they already have the answer why the greed the greed that they have is Beyond Comprehension and they're not willing to nullify themselves to so is saying you have to find yourself a spiritual Mentor a trusted friend that you're going to tell about all these improper thoughts oh I'm thinking about you know going into this horrible business that's forbidden oh I'm thinking about stealing from my customers or I'm thinking about uh cheating on my wife or husband you know how many cases you know how many horrible cases come into a bed in the old days you read the stories you read the P you see what kind of people came to the bedin they came with all types of questions some were the uh questions of marriage and and adultery and all types of horrible things but some of them were legitimate questions about what do I do if I have this type of business transaction that went wrong what do I do if this happened to my house and I need to make sure that I'm allowed to uh uh a um Carry outside of the house the issues the all types of people will come with legitimate questions today people come to the bedin for two issues and I've heard this from a I heard this from aan uh they come for a uh money or znot either money or immorality either they come for there's a money problem or there's immorality problem somebody cheated on somebody else that's it every day that's the thing it's it's it's it's unbelievable that's how he called that's literally the words he used now when you have day after day people coming to a bed for these issues it gives you an an understanding of what we're dealing with this means that you have never actually actually made yourself a friend made yourself a rabbi that's going to guide you along the way before it got to the problem of Maz oot you you didn't get that if you had somebody you would have never gone that far you would have never cheated on your wife or husband you would have never stolen in your business you have never gotten into that business in the first place because you knew it corruption if you would have asked a rabbi whether you're allowed to do XYZ in your business business he would have told you no but because you did not have it now you're in a problem so theat is telling us you have to have somebody to tell them about all the things that you think about that are against the holy Torah all the things that the evil inclination brings to your mind and heart even during during a time where you're studying tah even during a times where you lie in bed or you're praying and don't conceal anything from him out of embarrassment now one of the things that Shalom had as is a a tradition that he learned from his rabbis is that anytime he would give a SHO it would be a specific subject but if some other idea or story popped in his mind while he was speaking the tradition was say it yeah but it doesn't have anything to do with what you're talking about doesn't matter the tradition is if Hashem put this thought in your mind during the sh that means this is for somebody and he tells a story with it was one time he was given a sh about a uh a uh modesty and so on and all of a sudden in the middle of his sh he had a thought about eating kosher a thought about eating kosher and he started talking about how important it is to eat kosher and now he's talking about to a bunch of he's talking about the religious people these are not people that have a problem with K not like today that everybody thinks that uh you know either everything is allowed or everything is forbidden it's the greatest thing in the world if you watch the internet you think everything is forbidden because you watched a bunch of videos where there's a bunch of people with microscopes and everything's not allowed or perhaps uh all the all of the slaughterers are corrupt there's no such thing as kosher me and all this other nonsense that people have or the opposite where you think everything is allowed no matter what the Kut is just simply if it says anything on it remotely close to kosher even if it says boser toer something uh any it's Shing sharing revenues with a different company you'll share sh okay you'll eat it like a like a dog so person does not have not going to know what to do they're going to eat everything or not eat anything thinking that they're righteous but here in the story which I believe is written in a book called the mid which was written by P he says thaton was uh giving a sh about some subject I think it was modesty and all of a sudden he starts talking about K how important it is to eat kosher and how it destroys the if you don't eat kosher and how if you don't eat kosher you're not going to be able to understand tah you're not going to be able to to have your prayers heard and all types of horrible thinks of course the crowd has no idea why the rabbi just made a huge segue from modesty to kosher but they're there they're not going to tell the rabbi what to say after that lecture everybody was leaving there was one guy new guy that uh came up to the rabbi and told him thank you very much for what you said oh sure what did I say no what you said about kosher and everything what happens this guy left the D several years before for whatever reason he decided that he wanted to hear some that day he hasn't even eaten kosher in years and he said you know what let me just walk into anywhere that I could find he walks into one place that's where radon was speaking and as soon as he came in changed the entire sh to the topic of kosher which was the perfect cure for that person's Nish at that point the same with a another story that uh was just publicized last week you know we've been giving sh for about a decade now many shim thousands of thousands of people have done chv but the vast majority of people I don't know who they are some people contact me ask questions some people donate some people send emails some people I never heard of because they're all over the world were all over the world but about a month ago a sh that I know sends me a video of a young man from looks like a precious and then I hear him talk he is in Israel but he's originally from Germany grew up in Germany lived in Germany his whole life completely secular keeping absolutely nothing no different than Carlos next door no different than Muhammad down the street he was living whatever uh the uh heart desires the heart should get now of course out of all the shim that uh I've ever done usually I would think something that would Inspire somebody to change their life to change their ways perhaps would be my personal story we've uh you know it's it's an inspiring story has to do with a lot of different subjects whether it's the ambition for money uh issues with into marriage issues with health issues with uh all all types of things it's a very uh good story that it's reached millions and millions of views already in different languages perhaps it's going to be a uh some of the lectures that uh we spoke about the uh based on the teachings of elas or the teachings about Gom or all types of other things that's what I would think logically would inspire a soul to change a life that is completely disassociated from Judaism needless to say in Germany but no out of one of the shim that I did it's maybe 10 years ago nine years ago I was invited to Los Angeles to do some lectures over there and they invited me to a uh little Yeshiva bunch of young kids teenagers to speak one night and uh after I told the uh the kids parts of my story and so on they started asking some questions and one of the questions they asked about is about the stock market versus gambling and so on okay so I answered the question we made a clip out of it I don't know how many years ago of this little segment of the uh Shure and we publicized it it's not it's certainly not one of the top clips that we have that got uh tens of thousands of views I don't even know uh if it got a couple thousand views but you know what one of those views made a young precious n completely lost in Amal town of Germany spark up and say wow if Judaism has an answer even for something like this it must have answers for everything and he started binging on my lecture watching One lecture after another after another and before you know it this young B decided not only am I changing my life I'm going to Yeshiva in is and he picked himself up and he went to is to go learn to he's still there now who would have thought that that particular clip talking about gambling versus uh stock market what's the difference what's the similarities who would have thought that that would spark up a needless to say in Germany but that's what happened why decides what's yours and what's not what's going to work and what's not what every n need and what it doesn't and if a person does not nullify themselves to a for sure they're not going to nullify themselves before why you can ask questions and doubts about hem every other day so that's why the katana is telling us and harping on this issue a whole segment on this issue you have to have a spiritual Mentor trusted friend to tell all of your improper thoughts all of the things that the evil inclination theit brings to your mind and don't conceal anything because you don't know which part of the things that you say also open up the gates to the solution you think that the problem is X and therefore you're only going to talk about X but who says that's the problem you decided that's the problem but maybe that's not the problem one woman asks me Rabbi uh my uh husband he uh decided that he uh wants to get uh some uh guidance but not from a rabbi he's going to go to some uh fortune teller because she's known to know the future and know the source of his soul is this even allowed because somebody that calls himself a rabbi I told him that you should go there I said that they both have the same problem the person that told them regardless of whether they call himself a rabbi or not and their person what they have an ego that's the problem it's not the problem is not the witch which the Torah says there's no such thing as even going to them needless to say to even allow them to to live at the time of the uh of the S they would kill these people the problem is ego why they're not willing to nullify themselves in front of d t that tells them what to do so they want to go to something exotic something outside something that no one else has seen before it's ego ego is the reason of why he's going there it has nothing to do with him wanting to spiritually Elevate himself has nothing to do with no it's simply ego it's all ego and if you have ego you're not going to get anywhere far or you're going to get into the wall and run into it over and over again smashing your head over and over again just like the fools that keep asking the same questions on the thread because they haven't investigated themselves they haven't investigated what their own questions so a cannot be another person that's just like you meaning if you're about cha convert or even if you're from from birth but you're struggling with different things you're not exactly the biggest sadik yet you're not the biggest sadika yet you're struggling with things if you're going to have a if you're going to have a friend it cannot be somebody that's on your same level why this is like if somebody's stuck in the mud they're in the mud they're in quicksand quicksand anyone that knows about it quick sand you sink you stand on the sand and you start singing the more you move the more you sink until the entire person or even elephant can sink into the sand now obviously you need somebody to pull you out can't get yourself out of it you need somebody to pull you out now if you weigh if you weigh 200 lb and your friend also weighs 200 lb it's usually not a good idea needless to say if your friend weighs 100 pounds why because it's very it's more likely that both of you end up in the mud both of you end up in the quicksand then both of you are out of it you need somebody much stronger than you to uplift you and that's what happens a lot of times people confide with people that are just like them he's going to tell all of his Secrets all of his failures all of his issues to who to his boys she's going to tell her girls oh I had a coffee with my girlfriend and we talked and she said that my husband was wrong about such and such is she married no she's divorced so what does she know about marriage well she used to be married well obviously she's not good at it if she's divorced how are you going to get marriage advice from somebody's divorce it's like asking Financial advice from somebody that's homeless I never understood it never understood people you get advice from people that are homeless why if you want to know how to be homeless ask the homeless person you want to know how to get divorced ask somebody that's divorced but if you you want to ask marriage advice you want to ask financial advice you want to ask any type of advice you have to ask somebody that is extremely successful much more successful than you are you cannot even ask somebody that's just like you why they're making mistakes and lack of knowledge just like you they have the same mistakes they have the same limited knowledge even if they sound good and they sound like they have good ideas and they can and they're willing to talk to you about this or that the reality is having a having a friend a real friend means it's somebody better than you smarter than you more knowledgeable than you specifically about TOA now of course if you can ask them about other things they should be better than you about those things as well now one of the issues as we mentioned before is ego and this is not an invention but rather an the rambam writes about it chapter 2 first he compares the flaws in Morality in ethics in character traits to a physical ailment and he says to those who are physically ill physically sick the bitter tastes sweet and the sweet tastes bitter some of the sick even desire and crave that which does not fit to eat such as Earth or charcoal and hate healthy foods such as bread and meat all depending on how serious the sickness is the guy is sick she's sick okay maybe I give you something to drink some orange juice maybe I give you a uh some water no no no I want some mud huh mud mud give me give me some mud why what do you why would you do it mud I want to eat it obviously this a person that's crazy that's what happens similarly says the ramban 800 years ago those who are morally ill desire and love bad traits hate the good path and are lazy to follow the good path depending on how sick they are they find it exceedingly burdensome you tell the guy listen you are not exactly the greatest husband you are not exactly the greatest wife how do we know you just got divorced you can't be that good of a husband or a wife if you got divorced after only a uh 2 three years of marriage something went wrong so why not be more careful with who you pick and what you do and how you behave no no no I don't feel like it listen I am who I am they have to accept me like I am oh I am I am what you think you're God they'll accept you as you are that's it okay stay alone oh RAB I'm looking for shid okay fine no problem looking for shid want to get somebody married no problem listen uh what about uh this woman she's uh also looking for shid no Rabbi she's not uh good-looking what's wrong with her she our ears are over there our eyes are over there our mouth is over there she keeps to what's the problem no I don't know I'm not attracted okay listen you have to be attracted to somebody if you find them disgusting you can't marry them no problem what about this one no no this one not this one okay what about this one before you know it you start realizing it's not the people it cannot be possibly true that everyone is on attractive oh Rabbi I really don't want a blonde I want a brunette I don't want a brunette I want a blonde I want to could be short could be tall could be this who what do you think you arei what do you think you are the the prince of beauty people are so picky with who they want and he has to be this tall and this short and this amount of money and that type of family and this type of tradition that type of tradition oh khabibi you're almost a senior citizen you're 40 years old already even if she's homeless in the street and willing to marry you you should marry her by now you still have the audacity to be picky you're a senior citizen before you know it you're going to be walking with a stick you're still picky somebody's even willing to consider you and you have the audacity to be picky unfortunately spiritually sick spiritually sick people he tell them listen you have to stop you want to get married you have to lower your standards yeah but RAB I don't want to be uh I don't want to be with somebody ugly nobody told you to be with somebody ugly but you're looking for some filth that you saw on TV that's what you're looking for you're looking for something that doesn't exist in the kosher holy world world you're looking for Filth you're looking to turn some Z into a it's not going to happen this is not you're not going to find ra One of a Kind 3,300 years ago the end you want to find somebody to build a bite lower your standards stop being so picky now again no one's telling to go and marry somebody ugly somebody with a uh Missing arms and leg somebody with some giet some uh uh thing coming out of their back no nobody's telling to to go and marry some cripp I'm not telling you that what I'm telling you is stop being so picky number one because you have tainted your mind and therefore your standards are higher than reality number two by the way you're not exactly Mei I actually asked somebody this I actually asked somebody this somebody came to me nice young boy maybe 20 25 years old or whoever he is says RAB I want to get married okay I went on with this girl she's really nice okay good she's religious good okay everything's good but she's she's only pretty Rabbi so what's the pro if she's pretty she's this she's not what's the problem no she's just pretty but she's not like beautiful so I asked him are you beautiful now again when you ask another man that's mature if you're beautiful the default answer is now come on I'm a guy what beautiful I'm a guy unless you're yadik what beautiful what beautiful you wake up with sounds you go to sleep with sounds there's nothing beautiful about a guy but this kid answer me yeah yeah you know what I am I couldn't believe my ears you spent way too much time in front of the mirabi and I can assure you that you probably haven't fixed your breit why you think you're beautiful you're spending too much time looking at yourself if your husband spends as much time in front of the mirror as you do most likely it's not going to last why he thinks he's too beautiful he thinks he's too beautiful it's a problem a man is not supposed to look at himself needless to say to find himself beautiful this is makes a problem for the women why women become self-conscious when their husbands think of themselves as beautiful and I've met a few of those people where the husband literally Grooms himself goes manicure pedicure a haircut once a week what do you quad once a week haircut manicure pedicure this 10 go spend all that extra on your wife or your kids or your your brain or something else you know why you're doing that because you're an adulterer either in the making or already making spiritually sick you tell people you have to change stop acting that way no come on this is what it is this is what I'm used to same concept with every other type of character trait flow you tell people they have to stop they have to swallow their Pride nullify themselves relax be patient whatever it is as the rambam says it's not just they have bad traits but rather they love bad traits they hate the good path and they're lazy to follow the good path all depending on how sick they are they finding exceedingly burdensome Rabbi really have to do all that stuff as the prophet Isaiah said in chapter 5 verse number 20 says the rambam who speaks about such people in a manner which says woe to those who call the bad good and the good bad who take Darkness to be light and light to be Darkness who take bitter to be sweet and Sweet to be bitter concerning them says schl Proverbs Chapter 2 verse3 those who leave the upright paths to walk in the ways of darkness and then says the rambam What is the remedy for this morally ill person whether it be male or female they should go to the wise to theim for they are the healers of the souls they will heal them by teaching them how to acquire proper traits until they return them to the good path this last part is the Ultimate key that is the solution but also the problem for most people the r meaning this is no different than gravity this is no different than all of the physical laws of nature that hasem instilled into the world this is reality if you are a morally sick person you need a cure the Cure is available at the hand and the mouth of the go to them because they're the healers of the souls you don't want to go to them or you go to them but you don't nullify yourself that means that you're still sick and you're not willing to heal yourself the solution and the Cure is still the same as it was 3,000 years ago 800 years ago or yesterday but then there's people they refuse they refus The Cure what does the rambam has to say about them concerning those who recognize their bad traits and do not go to the wise to heal theml says about them in Proverbs 1:7 fools scorned wisdom and correction thisai is clear simple words of the Living God this is tor this is what is telling us he gave us the Torah in this week's even who used to be a Pope used to be an idol worshipper when he heard the greatness of the the Tora the greatness of the greatness he changed everything doesn't care about money anymore loses everything doesn't make a difference I need to be a Jew I need to do everything possible to go over there yeah in the middle of the desert is dangerous doesn't matter yeah but people may kill you doesn't matter but you're abandoning everything doesn't matter I'm going I'm going why why are you going because I know that mosenu has the truth I know that mosenu has the truth yeah but how do you know he's the right leader says the the takes M's wife because sent her away and then the Torah says and he also took with him her the children two sons one of his name is G why was his name g because mhe says I was a souer in a Strange Land and the other one is elel why because God of my father came from my Aid and he saved me from The Sword of par now with all due respect to what does it have to do with anything you're going to mosu you're bringing his wife and kids what are you reminding him oh it's Moshe and he has kids and you know why his name is kids G because he was a serer and then God helped him what does that have to do with anything you either want to be a Jew you don't want to be a Jew go no no no no you don't understand I'm going to the leader I'm going to mosenu because mosenu since the day that I know him mosenu treated this world as if he's simply visiting he's a serer in this world whether he was in Egypt or he was in medidan or he was in Ethiopia or wherever he was kush Kush is Ethiopia wherever he was MOS who treated this world as temporary he didn't live for this world and was got to where he was because helped him because he nullified himself because he wasn't living for this world he was looking for the truth wherever he went somebody like that I'll go find him in the middle of the desert if I have to why that's the leader I want that's the leader I want I want somebody that's willing to go into the desert to go find a and I'm willing to go after him no matter what he says no matter if he wants or doesn't want I'm gonna do whatever I want I'm gon buy at any price when a person understands that they have a tells us tells us tell us pay any price pay any price to have a in your life pay any price it doesn't matter what the limit is to have a in your life to have somebody that has that in your life is priceless says I had everything I had Millions I had billions I had everything but now I have a I'm giving up everything just for the I'm giving up everything just for the that's all that matters and people throw the into the garbage today as if they're in abundance why because they're fools because they're spiritually sick and they don't even know it and that's the problem now person said yeah but what if I need a different cure says the RA in the next how are these people going to be healed we tell them the wrathful man to train himself to feel no reaction even if he's beaten on cursed he should follow this course of behavior for a long time until the anger is uprooted from his heart the man that's full of Pride should cause himself experience much disgrace he should sit in the lowliest of places dressed in tattered Rags which shame the wearer and the like until the arrogance is uprooted from his heart and he returns to the middle path which is the proper path when he returns to the middle path he should walk in in it for the rest of his life and one should take a similar course with each of the other traits a person who SED in the direction of one of the extreme should move in the direction of the opposite extreme and accustom himself to that for a long time and until he has returned to the proper path which is the midpoint for each and every temperament in so many words the rambam says you want to fix that spiritual ailment you want to fix that spiritual deformity that causes you to go against the One path listen to M get that t nullify yourself remove the ego from your life remove it nullify yourself stop pretending to be humble stop pretending to be anything that you're not why it's not going to help you in sh knows what's the truth he knows if you're a liar or not now unless you have that spiritual Mentor that good friend that's much higher than you that you're willing to beel in front of him or her how you going to get there how you even know that you need to get there and that's why the rambam says you have a problem and you don't realize how bad it is hence the reason why I'm telling you the solution is to listen to M and to listen to in the opposite extreme opposite extreme why because your sickness is much worse than you think you still do not know the value of D you still do not know that you're not as great as what you think you are hence the reason why you have to go to the opposite extreme until you arrive in the middle path if you're sickness was small you wouldn't need an extreme treatment somebody comes to the doctor with a headache they don't give him uh a uh cancer medicine they don't give him cancer medicine he has a headache give him an Advil give him something else somebody uh comes with a toothache they don't remove all of his teeth they fix one tooth the ram says if you're spiritually sick you do not have the ability to judge how sick you are hence the reason why your cure has to be extreme the absolute extreme why to to get you to the middle path because if we gave you medicine that you think not only will you not get to the middle path you may even get worse and therefore the says don't conceal anything from him out of embarrassment why out of embarrassment because the says in page 12b a person that makes a sin which brings him embarrassment and I'll read the language and rabina the Elder said in the name of the name of R anyone who commits a sin and is embarrassed of it is Forgiven for all of his sins it is stated by the prophet chapter 16: 63 in order that you remember and be ashamed and so that you no longer have an excuse because of your humiliations when I forgive you for all that you have done the word of hasem God here thear tells us outright you made a sin part of the Cure is embarrassment part of the Cure is embarrassment sometimes people come to me they say listen I stole some money I stole something a long time ago okay give it back well listen if I give it back then uh it's going to be embarrassing because it's my father-in-law because it's my partner because it's this Clerk or this this or this that is there any way can I just give it to kiru if the person is alive and you have access to them you have to give it back to them donating the money in their name is not going to be sufficient the only time that you could donate money to a public cause like kiru as a form of chuva as a form of tikun for stolen money is if either the source of where you stole it from is no longer available either they died or it's if it's a company it's bankrupt it's it's gone or the person is uh you know nowhere to be found you have no idea where they are you've you've tried locating them you don't know where they are or if giving but the money back could cause you a legal problems meaning you stole from XYZ company and you know that this company has a very very strict policy that if you return the money let's just call it let's say it's the government you call the government hi Mr government Mr Trump listen um I have good news and bad news okay the good news is there's an extra half a million dollars I need to send the to the government okay what's the bad news I stole the money from the government that's why I'm giving it back it's very possible that maybe Mr Mr Trump he say no problem give it back give it back no problem we we're good but it may be possible that Mr Trump or anybody else would say listen uh yeah yeah bring it back bring it back the second you come there with the check okay the check clears okay you're under arrest you have the right to remain silent everything you say will be held against you whoa I gave back the money yeah you gave it back the money you sto will stole so if that's the case and there a possible uh legal problem then you don't have to give it back you could donate the money for inessence for their benefit but if that's not a reality if it's your uncle your friend your brother your father your mother or somebody else you took the money from and the only problem is once you give it back to them you'll be embarrassed that's the point that's the Cure that's what you need you need the embarrassment you need the embarrassment in fact theud 35 has a a man came to and told him that he made a horrible sin what sin he committed adultery with his mother-in-law the says okay part of your cure is go tell your father-in-law what you did whoa the embarrassment not enough you made the sin now now I have to tell the father-in-law yeah go tell the father-in-law khabibi that's embarrassing exactly that's the Cure that's the Cure you need that cure you need the embarrassment no but I don't want to be embarrassed oh you don't want to do Chua why you're protecting your ego no but that's going to break me perfect yeah that's it you got to break that ego that you have that caus you to sit in the first place to think that anything Belongs to You including somebody else's wifei who is the brother ofin was asked one time Hades you have seen into the soul of AD how did you let him sin abusa says let him sin I helped him sin what the rabbi helped them sin yeah I helped them sin why I saw that the Nash the serpent told them that listen the reason why God doesn't want you to eat from the Tree of knowledge is because once you eat from the Tree of knowledge you're going to be like him so I thought to myself wait is it better that he continues to think this stupidity that Hashem needs him that hem uh is he's going to be like AEM and all types of other heretical thoughts or let him just eat the fruit and then get all the curses and the punishment that comes with it I said you know what it's better that he eats it and gets punished then continue to live with kir in his heart with heresy in his heart so I helped him why because he wanted to make sure that there's only koser things in your mind and sometimes the ego that you have makes you think that you're much more than what you really are but of course isusa was saying to all of his community not just the things that they want to hear he told them the things that they need to hear but when he knew that there's an ego that's in the way he would work with that ego how so person would come to the Kila full of sins full of Filth but he doesn't want to admit it why it's going to embarrass him it's going to embarrassment to say what happened what he did he looks religious he's got a beard a is's a benefactor of the community he doesn't want to tell people that he's a sinner noesa had an understanding of what's going on here so what would he do rusa would say zusa zusa what did you do what did you do zusa why did you might violate the Shabbat why why you violate Shabbat you light a cigarette on Shabbat Z why why why and the guy's hearing this what the rabbi Ving Shabbat I also smoked a cigarette on Shabbat and he smoked a cigarette on Shabbat AAA then as soon as somebody you heard somebody coming in you turned off the cigarette zusa that's another sin ohusa why did you turn off the cigarette another sin you know how much you how many years you're going to be and getting known for that that happened to me the guy's thinking how that happened to me and then after that you thought that is not watching because your wife was not watching you thought was not watching either so you lighted the heart you told her you going to go out to the synagogue but you didn't go to the synagogue you went and you made some sins you may made some sins with some other lady and you thought that doesn't watch because your wife doesn't watch why did you do that Zha why why why did you do that you know how many years and getting old you're going to get burned you know how many years and get know they're going to grip you up to Pieces a zusa why did you do that the guy's like why does he know all this tough rusa would say all the things the guy just did in the last week he violated this he did this he did that he stole there he stole this and the guy's like oh Rabbi Rabbi listen I don't know what's happening but why'd you do all those things you okay and the Rabbi says no no why what are you talking about no zusa also stole from his business partner zusa stole from his business partner why did you steal from your business partner on Tuesday he thought he's going to use the money to buy a house but you used it to go gamble why did you do that zusa and the guy is hearing every sin that he made every day of the week and rabusa is saying it as if he did it because the of the sadik is like the of is but the same token r knew that once the person hears what he did the ego will be broken and eventually the person says I'm sorry please Rabbi help me do cha help me do Chua yes I did all those things and the guy would start crying hysterical and do chuv unfortunately today we don't have rusa but we do have the sins we do have the problems and unless a person is willing to destroy their ego and allow embarrassment into their life as a form of healing chuva is never going to be complete there's always going to be a portion of it that's still there it's always still there always still there had a guy come to me tell me listen I feel terrible my girlfriend left me not only she left me but she embarrassed me on the way out she said all types of things about me that are not true what should I do Rabbi now if I was a puppet Rabbi that uh is dependent on people's opinions I tell them listen I'm sorry to hear H better luck next time but because I want to genuinely helped this person I told him listen although I'm sorry to hear that this happened to you the reality is you did it to yourself you were with her in a forbidden relationship and you knew it's forbidden but you did it anyway so that means that there's no I didn't know and there's going to be no blessing in such a relationship so how can you possibly expect a blessed relationship with such actions do better next time date a woman without intimacy few times you want to be together get married first that's it what's the problem if you want to have a blessing from a you have to go in the way of a hopefully this not only reaches his ear but also his heart and he realizes this is the right way but when a person is not willing to accept the truth then unfortunately there's no way that you can help him many times you tell people the truth they run away from you why they're looking for somebody to lick their wounds they don't want embarrassment they don't realize that the embarrassment is part of the Cure it's like the bitter taste and medicine and interestingly enough it's not that they're completely against embarrassment because there's no end to the amount of people that publicize their problems in the uh online whether it be on Facebook or on uh what is this other say Reddit and all other types of uh websites where people talk about they have all types of questions sometimes it's technical questions uh Financial questions and sometimes it's embarrassing issues listen I have this thing that happened with my wife or my husband and what do you think and then you see 50,000 comments they have no problems they have no qualms about publicizing their most shameful things no problems but when it comes to telling those things to the Right audience whether it be their spiritual mentor they Guide to the truth or to the place where it's going to be part of the cure itself bringing embarrassment where it actually matters no no no no I don't want to embarrass myself yeah but you didn't have a problem publicizing the garbage that you did on Facebook you didn't have the problem publicizing the garbage on Reddit on Twitter on X on whatever on Gom on whatever it is you publicize it everywhere else here you have a problem here you have a problem what do we know from there yet and the has been playing us not just today not just yesterday the has been playing us for many many years as the prophet Isaiah says in chapter 59 is that's crying oh H we're still in war over 500 Days Later ham was still in war hakam was still being tormented by these evil terrorist by these evil places these evil leader how come how come prayers don't matter Hashem you're not listening to us you don't hear our prayers says the prophet Isaiah in chapter 59 verse number one and on surely the hand of hasem is not too limited to save nor is his ear heavy preventing him from hearing rather your iniquities have separated between you and your God and your transgressions have caused him to hide his countenance from you from hearing you for your palms are stained with blood and your fingers with iniquity your lips speak falsehood and your tongues utter wickedness no one calls in righteousness and no one is judged truthfully trusting in emptiness and speaking vanity conceiving wrongdoing and giving birth to wickedness here the prophet Prophet tells us exactly what we're dealing with today because the says that any prophecy that's written in the Tor in the tanak is not only a prophecy that was relevant to the day that it said but also a prophecy that's relevant to every single day Forever Until mashia comes for eternity so now what is he saying over here first and foremost he's saying surely the hand of is not too limited and Rashi says what does that mean it's not that you have not been redeemed from the Exile because God lacks the strength to do so as implied by your complaints that you're fasting in vain or praying without him answering it's not his ability that is deficient rather it's your sins that build a barrier between you and God that makes it seem as if he does not hear your prayers because the problem is that a person that's mirrored with sin is shaped by his desires and activities and therefore he has no common dialogue with someone who lives in the world of Holiness when a person has filthy Deeds they think that everyone else is filthy too a person that's a thief thinks that everybody else is a thief a person that's a liar thinks that everybody else is a liar a person that's a cheater thinks that his spouse is cheating on him too and therefore when that such a person prays to a does not get an answer he thinks it's something wrong with God too and the prophet says and your transgressions have caused theem to hide meaning just like a person who doesn't want to hear from somebody stays away from them God covers his face and ears ignoring the insincere prayer why is it insincere prayer if you're praying to a without doing chuva without repenting for your sins the prayer is worthless worthless if you have not done chuva the prayer is worthless just like the RA in regards to yip if you have not done Chu you did not repent before Yip fasting is simply a diet it's not really aah if you're still planning on driving on Shabbat after Yip that means that your fast is worthless you'll get punished for everything including the fast this is why a person has to understand that Chua changing your actions is the basic minimum requirement in order to have a answer your prayers and change the path that you're on and when there's embarrassment in that chuva welcome that embarrassment why Hashem is the one that's custom making it for you CU that's part of the Cure no but maybe it's something else therefore the clarify only a sin can interfere with am's closeness to God because by definition sins are a denial of his presence similarly says theat certain sins are so serious that they subject The Sinner to KET to spiritual excision which means that the Sinners connection to God has been severed among those are sins of idolatry and sexual immorality now what does that have to do with what the prophet actually says because the prophet said in verse number three for your palms are stained with blood and your fingers with iniquity and your lips speak falser and your tongues utter wickedness says Shalom from the time of RAB he said your s are stained with blood because you wasted seed your fingers are full of iniquity because you stole in your business your cash advance your other horrible businesses that you did business in in a inappropriate way you have stolen money you have wasting seed and you come with those hands opening up please give me P please help me Hashem or you come with the mouth the same mouth that the prophet says that speaks falsehood you keep lying or the tongues that utter wickedness you keep saying heretical things like God needs you or all types of other heretical things so the tools that you're using says your mouth and your hands that you're using them to be your defendants to get AEM to you have turned into the prosecutors against you because they full of sins and then the prophet says no one calls out in righteousness and no one is judged truthfully this is because you go to false spiritual leaders who do not rebuke the people you have a rabbi that tells you everything you're doing is perfect even though he knows you're driving on Shabbat even though you know you're in a corrupt business business even though he knows that you're cheating on your husband or you're cheating on your wife even though he knows that you go to a casino and gamble even though he knows he says you're you're tadik you're tadik both of you are going to be in a similar type of Gom with all the other like you if you continue in this path your spiritual leaders do not rebuke the people says the ebra your judges are unjust it's like the so-called rabbis that have allowed all of these forbidden things as if they're allowed the people make promises with no intention of keeping their words they think no one will know that they're being dishonest but God knows and unfortunately people keep PR crying to a empty tears crocodile tears why because tears that do not accompany chuva are simply waste a prayer that does not accompany chuva is a wasted prayer and therefore says the prophet Isaiah in verse number nine that's why justice has become distant from us and righteousness has not reached us we hope for light but behold there's Darkness for brightness but we walk in deep Darkness what does this mean say the Rashi Begins by saying although we cried out to hem to save us from our enemies from theas from theah from the amalik we keep praying to hm to help us but every day some other Jew is murdered and called blood whether it be in Israel or it be in America or anywhere else in the world every day there's a new report of innocent but blood being spilled and nothing being done about it why Hashem does not punish our oppressors because we haven't done Chua because the Jewish people are not being just among themselves says the marikar so what right do we have to complain about foreign oppressors measure for measure if we continue being corrupt to each other lying to each other about each other about each other what right do we have to complain about the oppressors that Hashem is sending to punish us in so many words the stick that Hashem is hitting us with is being fueled by our own misac and so long as we delude ourselves to think that we do not have to do chuv we do not have to nullify ourselves to we do not have to change and improve ourselves we're good enough somebody else needs to change let's worry about the secular people khabibi look into the mirror and sometimes see yourself as maybe that person that's secular because you haven't done enough if you haven't done some Chua today for something what's the difference between you and the secular person every single person that I know that's a sadik does Chua every day for something DAV was scared to death of any judgment can you can you even imagine being sadik like like the the the the ground that the walked on he was scared to death of sins but people today walk around like do whatever they want is telling us here advice that could literally change not just our lives but literally our entire nation our entire eternity he's telling us this spiritual Mentor this trusted friend this is a person that we do not only want we need we don't only need we want why because this is part of our Chua to have somebody that's going to give us the direction to go hence the reason why he calls this amazingly effective practice and he's not even saying this whole thing is about maybe you'll get some good advice only at the end he says maybe you also get some good advice to follow God's ways but the biggest benefit the biggest benefit is someone that you could simply tell I did all of these things tell me what to do what's to cure the extra guidance what job to take what job not to take who to marry who not to marry that's the extra bonus but if you could simply tell me what to do with these filthy sins that I've done that's already the greatest possible thing that you can do for yourself but the only only way it works is if a person begins with the right mindset by nullifying themselves before they even say a word meaning whatever he says I'm going to do if you have not gotten yourself to that point then you have a lot of work to do because you are still spiritually sick and I can admit we're all spiritually sick to a certain extent but if you want to be on the path of the Cure it begins with nullifying yourself and getting that spiritual guide that's going to get you that cure once we do that every that we do can change the outcome of our lives and the entire nation as the as the says a Jew that does a mitvah should view it as if he just just took all of am is on a positive end and a jeude that made a sin should look at it as if he took all of am is to the negative end every Mitzvah can change something every Mitzvah can change a life including your own including saving a life if we want to stop all of the problems that we're all suffering from it begins with doing chuva and chuva is more than just keeping some that you like Chua is also keeping the rest of the Torah which stands on fixing our character traits when we do that we can be assured that we are all on the path of Hashem and we will all succeed in getting on that path staying on that path and getting others to join us thank you very much for learning with me bless each and every single one of you especially those that take this to heart and apply it to their lives and we succeed to spread this message all over the world no less than how the idolators of the world are spreading the Super Bowl and all the other nonsense of the world will spread the truth around the world every single person should take upon themselves to share this with at least 10 people that they know to make sure that they help they help us do what we're doing to donate just like you would pay for tickets to a film for for for groceries for for different things this food for your n is no less help support donate you could do it on our website you could do it on YouTube you could do it in a lot of different places there's no shortage of ways to help because the need is there for more people to hear the word of Hashem to hear the word of Hashem and there's unfortunately not enough voices out there if a young Jew from Germany could be saved by a simple short clip imagine how many more Jews we can save with these longer sh with the films with all of the other things that were doing help support partner with us and we will succeed in getting this message in every corner of the world wherever there's a precious the Torah is going to be there to save it thank you very much we'll learn again soon call to I'd like to introduce you to your new best friend we did it AI Rabbi is here it's an AI model that is based on kosher Tor sources 30 different languages that are available to you so if you want to ask it in Spanish and Chinese Portuguese whatever you want to do it's available for you can you tell me about a Vio so it's time stamp to the shield you press this green button AI Rabbi on your WhatsApp you'll have the ability to ask questions at will you be provided sources and most importantly you'll be able to know the truth and be able to rely on the sources