TBC - Day 30 - 'Get your force back' - Rabbi Alon Anava | Atzmut.org

Our main goal right now, and not only now, but throughout our life, is to do teshuvah. The The example of teshuvah is Moshe Rabbeinu. All his life he did teshuvah till the last day of his life. Moshe Rabbeinu was really the one that call is called a baal teshuvah. And one is of the main reasons that we do teshuvah is because we sin. Now, we have to understand first what happens when we sin in order for us to understand what to fix. So, the question right now that we are presenting is what does the sin do? If you would tell me now, "Don't sin." But you don't tell me what it does, then it's hard for me to control myself. But if I understand what happens when I sin, that helps me uh prevent from doing sins and also work on my teshuvah. So, what is really a sin? Is that I go against the will of Hashem. That's the definition. Hashem told me, "Don't do it." And I did it. Hashem told me, "Do it." And I didn't do it. In Hebrew it's called halach neged retzon Hashem. He went against the will of Hashem. Now, what is the real will of Hashem? The will of Hashem is lehativ le'vruav. Is to do good or to improve the status of his creatures. Hashem wants to constantly give us more and more and more. That's the will of Hashem. Now, according to the teachings of Kabbalah, then there's always a relation between a light and a vessel. The light is the energy, the giving of the master of the universe, and the light always needs to be contained into a vessel. Now, when you take the word sin in Hebrew, it's chet. How do you write it? Chet, tet, aleph. What is the acronym? Or more than the acronym, let me first explain. The letter chet, what does it mean? Atzira. Means to stop. When you prevent something. The letter tet stands for tov, for good. And the letter aleph stands for Elokut, for godliness. So, what is the acronym that I get here? Atzira, tov, Elokut. When I do a sin, I stop the good that Hashem wants to give me. Hashem is constantly sending me blessing, and I'm the one who blocks it. Another way of understanding it, the sun is shining 24/7. It doesn't stop shining. If I want to stop getting the light of the sun, then I close the window and I pull down the shade. Now, is the sun stopping to shine? No. What's preventing me from receiving the light? Me. Because I created an action of closing the window and preventing the light of the sun to coming in. What is a sin? La'atzor, atzira, tov, Elokut. It's stopping the good of God. This is the the explanation of chet. What does it mean Kabbalistically saying? That I stop the light to going into the vessel. Hashem wants to give me a blessing, wants to give me an abundance, and I'm stopping it from coming into the vessel. Now, when I do a sin, another thing happens is that I damage the vessel that the light can go into. So, if I have a cup and the cup cup has a crack, and if you want to give me expensive wine and you pour the wine in the cup, all the wine will go out. So, when I do a sin, I damage the the vessel that is there to receive the light. Now, the light cannot go in because light cannot go cannot go into a damaged vessel. Or lo yachol lechanes be bechlip pagum. If the vessel is damaged, the light cannot go in there. And the light is the blessing of the master of the universe. This good that Hashem is giving me. Now, what's the next uh uh uh action or the next stage when I do a sin? The first stage, I damage the vessel. The spiritual vessel. What would be the result from that? That the shine that was supposed to come to me, the blessing that was supposed to come to me, this he'arah, this oil, you know where it goes? I don't have a vessel. I broke the vessel. So, that he'arah goes to the klipah. It's like as if me working all month, and I did a certain damage. Instead of getting the paycheck into my account, the enemy gets it. The klipah. The sitra achra, the other side of holiness, that gets the light. So, that's what happens. Very simple. I do I go against the will of Hashem. The result is that the good that Hashem wants to give me cannot come to me because I damaged the vessel, and that good goes to the other side of kedushah. End of story. This is the easiest way to explain chet and a sin. So, now I have to do teshuvah. I have to fix it. What are the three stages that I need to do? First of all, I have to fix the vessel. See the vessel like I I broke it? Now fix it. Fix the vessel. And the second that I fix the vessel, then the light can by default come back into the vessel. And I'm not going to explain to you how we do everything. I'm just giving you now an overview so you understand what happens. So, the first thing of teshuvah, fix your vessel. The second thing is to cancel I'll tell it in Hebrew then I'll explain it. Levateil yenikat hachitzonim. The other side of kedushah, which is receiving right now my light, my energy, it's going to the other side. The Kabbalistic term to that is yenikah. Yenikah is to suck or to feed off. So, I have to stop that. It's like as if some type of a channel of all my shefa, all my abundance is going to the klipah. I have to stop it. I have to bring it back to me. So, the term to this is levateil yenikat hachitzonim. Cancel the sucking or the feeding off of the other side of kedushah from the energy that's supposed to come to me. You know that a few years ago, we had an electricity problem in our house. We bought an electrician. He was working out, and you know what we found? That my neighbor was feeding off my electricity for 3 years. He told me, "What's this wire?" I don't know. We go with the wire. My neighbor hooked into my board, and for 3 years feeding off my electricity. Now, of course, I have to give me back money. You owe me like 20, 30,000 shekels, my dear neighbor. But that's a different issue. First of all, cut it out. Levateil yenikat hachitzonim. Cut it out. That's it. You're not getting any more electricity. You know what was the the joke? That we pulled it out. Suddenly the neighbor comes. "Do you have a a blackout? I don't have electricity." I'm like, "Really? You don't have electricity?" What do you know? Well, you're not going to have electricity for the time being, you thief. Levateil yenikat hachitzonim. Cut the life force that goes into the other side. And the third is to from here and on get back the energy to me. This is called levateil me kan va'elach. Is from It's not only to stop that moment the energy going somewhere else, is from this point on, it's coming to me. Now, how do you do that? Then has to be two actions. The first action is called shinui ha'ratzon. Change your desire, change your will. And in Hebrew or in basic terms, it's called haratah. Regret, remorse. Regret what you did. But in a more professional way, I call it professional or we can call it more a Kabbalistic approach, shinui ha'ratzon. Change your desire, change your will. I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to sin anymore. Now, the term to that is called akirat ha'ratzon. Uproot the will, the desire. And what happens is is that you take the life force, the chayut of your soul, out of the klipah. Because when you sin, you put your soul in the klipah, in a negative energy. When you uproot this desire, when you have this regret, you are pulling out your neshamah, the life force of your neshamah, from the klipah. Just imagine that your life force for years is in the klipah. You're in a spiritual swamp. You can't move because of the thickness of it. The next thing you need to do is vidui. Confess. Why specifically confessing? Because you have to move your lips. Why specifically to move the lips? Because the klipah has a soul and a body, exactly like we have a soul and a body. And I need to break the body of the klipah. How do I break the body of the klipah? Only with talking. How do we do it? We say vidui. Ashamnu, bagadnu, gazalnu, dibu- I don't know if you ever noticed, but the order is alphabetically. Ashamnu, aleph. Bagadnu, bet. Gazalnu, gimel. Dibarnu dofi, dalet. Why in an order? Because there are 22 letters. The letters that call in Kabbalah Kelim. I now with my sin build a body for the clipa. The only way to break the body of the clipa is with the vessels with Kelim, which are the letters. So I have systematically have to go Ashamnu, Bagadnu, Gazalnu. You're breaking the body of the clipa. Now, the Ramchal explains that the main part of the chuva is akirat haratzon. It's uprooting the will, the desire. That's the neshama of the sin. So has to be done three things in order to stop what I told you, right? The first thing, fix the vessel. The second thing, stop the hitzonim from getting any any kind of power. And then you divert it to you that from this point on it comes only to you. How do you practically practically do it? Do you have to make a switch in your mind? You're not going to make a switch. You're not going to do chuva ba hayim ever. Akirat Akor means to uproot. It's to pull out. And if my will right now is to sin because I get pleasure from this or from that or I gain something whether it's money from theft or pleasure from forbidden relations or whatever it is. You have to uproot it. Other than that, it's not going to work. The Ramchal says clearly Akirat Akor Akirat haratzon. Switch in your mind. I don't want this anymore. And how do you do the second part? There is a body for the clipa. The neshama of the clipa when you do Akirat Akor when you make a switch in your mind, you kill the neshama so to say of the clipa. Now you have the body of the clipa. The only way of doing it is vidui. Speaking, confessing. Ashamnu, Bagadnu, Gazalnu. Why do we do it repeatedly? Cuz that's what breaks the body of the clipa. The result says that what is one of the most powerful ways to break the body of the clipa specifically created by zera levatala when a man spills semen for no not for the sake of procreating is Kriat Shema al Hamita. Because of Kriat Shema al Hamita you also say vidui. Ashamnu, Bagadnu, Gazalnu. The result says that is the ultimate method to break the body of the clipa. And then you do chuva. By that you return everything back to you. The good that Hashem wanted to give to you that is now in the clipa goes back to you. That's how you do chuva. This is a very overview short overview, but one needs to understand what happens when I do the sin. Now I can start relating, "Oh, that's what happens when I do the sin." So let me stop doing the sin because to reverse it, it's very very hard. But just remember the two stages. Stage number one is divided into three. Tikun Akelim, fixing the vessel. Number two, stopping giving power to the the clipa. Number three, diverting the energy to you. The second stage is is first of all uprooting the desire, making a switch in your mind. And the second one is vidui dvarim. It's confessing. So next time in the minyan when they start doing Ashamnu, Bagadnu, be very happy. Say it slowly. Pronounce the words the right way. And Hashem willing later we'll continue to learning about how do we focus on the vidui to do it the right way that it actually kills the body of the clipa and allows me to do the ultimate chuva and to receive all this energy back to myself.