🎙️ Stop Collecting Contacts. Start Building Relationships - Jeffrey Meshel - Episode 41

He had over three decades of real estate experience, had participated in acquisitions of over a billion dollars. But recently, he hit a snag in his career that would have brought most people down. But not this man. He actually used his challenge to do something unique and very fascinating. Meet Jeff Michelle this week on Jewish Grit. We are here this week with Jeffrey Michelle in beautiful sunny Florida. Jeffrey, welcome to Jewish Grit. >> Thank you so much. >> It's a pleasure and an honor to have you. An accomplished author, um, networker. How many more adjectives should I add? >> That take too long to say. >> Humble. Um Jeffrey, let's let's jump right in here. I know, thank God, you've been blessed with tremendous professional success and success in many areas which we're going to try to unpack, but with success comes the challenges and you have a very successful care, you know, expansive career and so many amazing things in the Jewish world and beyond. But let's start with a moment what you really when you really had to grit your teeth. You had to use what we call some Jewish grit to climb out of a really difficult situation, a monumental challenge. What does that trigger? Well, there's several, but the one that is more recent that stands out, um, trust is an incredibly important thing in lives, and when you're violated, and unfortunately, I don't think there's anyone out there that has an trust violation, it can be very devastating. I had a unethical, crooked partner that uh, I had to shut my company down in 2019. I trusted him implicitly. I was remiss, blind, that I didn't spot things that I should have because I relied on what I was told. And it was very costly in terms of the detriment of what transpired. But going through that type of hell, not knowing the next mind that's going to blow up is euphemistically challenging. It it is extremely difficult and tough. But I did get through it. >> And how did you do that? Your hands were shaking. Your blood pressure is up. You're pretty you're pretty uh steady now. >> Well, one is I'm a workout nut. So, I I would always advise everybody that your physicality and and staying in shape is essential, especially as you get older. As you probably noticed, I have a little bit of gray hair. Uh, so aside from, you know, keeping yourself healthy, it relaxes you. It gives you purpose and energize. So, I'm I really fueled myself by doing that and just controlling my mind. You know, your mind's a very powerful thing. It could work to your advantage or disadvantage. I just said, I'm going to get through this. I'm going to work through it. and I w up taking control of everything. I launched a new company in 2020 that's going really great. My son is my partner and um I've dealt with it and I look back in the rearview mirror and I I realized a lot of mistakes I made. I have an apherism that I actually just put in my new book which is good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment. >> That's that's really meaningful. What do you do professionally? >> The core stuff which keeps me ahead of my wife's expenses. Little little humor. >> That's a challenge. That's I said that that's that's a challenge. I'm a real estate guy, so I buy buildings, own and operate, my son and I and I have another person involved currently acquiring mostly medical facilities, although that's not cast in stone. I'm also a short-term lender. Bridge Loans I do uh real estate based secured by real estate. I get involved in some venture capital investment transactions. I'm on serving some different boards. Um >> you're busy. >> I and my wife says to me, you know, you never stop working. I said, "Honey, I never work cuz I love what I do." >> That's amazing. Can Can you take us back to like the beginning of your career? You grew up in New York City. >> Yeah. >> And you went to NYU. >> I did. >> Shout out to all our students in NYU. >> What What was your first job that you >> It's funny you asked that question because I actually shared this recently uh in a chapter in my newest book. My newest book's title is Know who you know. And um I have a chapter in that book called Who in Your Life has had a big impact on you? I was just sitting there thinking about chapters as I was writing the book. This is one of the last ones. A name popped in my mind whose name was Marty Jamal. And when I was in eth grade, I got a job working in an electronic store in Penn Station being a messenger. My job was delivering packages or whatever. In a short period of time, Marty said to me, "Get behind the counter." I got behind the counter and uh I ultimately became their best salesman literally. >> How old were you? >> I was started in eighth grade. >> So that's like 13 years old, >> some something like that. >> Wow. >> And over the years I wound up building a luggage business in the store. There's no luggage store in Penn Station. And it was incredible. And I reflected on the fact I said to myself, gee, I got a business degree at NYU and it was really valuable. But I'll tell you what, my degree at Montgomery Grant blew away my business degree at NYU. Why? I tell all young people, if you have an opportunity to go be a waiter or deal with people, I learned how to sell. I learned how to look people in the eyes. I learned how to become confident and most importantly, I developed really good judgment working in that store. It was the fundamentals that really made me successful in my career. Bar none, Marty Jamal was so important to my life. >> And can you share with me some of your Jewish values? I'm very proud of who we are and uh I'm not religious, but I'm the most religious. I believe in integrity. I believe in doing what you say you're going to do. I believe in making a difference. When people ask me, Jeff, what do you do? I say two things. One, I'm a salesman. And two, I have to make a difference. I'm so concerned about our community and our people and all the things going on out there. I get very involved. I mentioned to you the Clarion Project. I help them hugely because they they scour social media for threats and right now it's at all-time highs. I have a love for who we are. I love our people and I look there good and bad people in every cadre of life. But today more than ever I'm so empowered to make a difference for our community and who we are and create awareness and for us not to kick the can, not make the mistakes. We were talking about this before what transpired before the Holocaust. Oh, it'll be okay. It'll be okay. Oh, you kids are Jewish kids are being blocked from schools. Well, you know what? History has a tendency to repeat itself. And unfortunately, what's happening right now is very, very scary. So, I'm proud to be together for us for me to go out and communicate because you could tell I have a tendency to speak to try to get people to stand up and and and really not allow what, you know, is brewing currently. >> What What did What was your first like, you know, big break or what was your first large deal that you made in in the real estate world? Like everything, you know, you start by getting a job. I started out on Wall Street, actually, and then I migrated to real estate because I preferred that as my business. When I was 25, I literally started my company and with my partner and you know, in terms of size deal, what it meant, there's different things when you say the most successful. Getting my first deal done was the biggest success I've ever had because I was selling snowballs in the North Pole. It was at a time when they were changing the tax laws in our country and it was everybody I was saying I was insane to go be doing what I was doing. To give you a sense, I was building six houses in the Hamptons. Uh, and I was buying a shopping center, put them together, the married deal. I was building these houses for $285,000. Pool, tennis court, big piece of land. Everyone told me I was insane. Those houses are now trading like 2 million and change or whatever. I sold them for like 800 a million ultimately. Everyone told me it was crazy. So, it wasn't the largest deal I ever did, but it was the deal, the catalyst for me to be start to get momentum. And the story behind getting it done is actually in one of my books because it's a crazy story uh about salesmanship and being powerful to make things occur. But I became so strong and and uh empowered and learned about the travailes of like trying and going that it was the fuel for me to do a lot more. and I've done a huge amount of deals since then. >> In our pre-con conversation, you were telling me that you are a master networker and you even have books about networking. Talk a little bit about what a master networker means and why um you would write a book about that. >> Well, I wrote a book about it because everyone told me I should write a book and then someone that was the son-in-law of a very famous author that gentleman by the name of Harvey Mccay, he wrote a book called Swimming with Sharks told me he spoke to Harvey about me and and you know Harvey, you know, Harvey wanted to talk to me. I said, "Harvey wants to talk to me. I'm nobody. You're kidding me." And I got on the phone with him and he was like, "You know, Jeeoff, I heard all these amazing you do these things that nobody does." I said, he said, "You should you should write a book." I said, "Well, I I never wrote a book." And uh uh well, I'll help you. I'll send you some stuff to read. And I said, "And I have all these things in my mind that I do." And I I I got I motivated me. So, I literally wrote the book on the airplane flying back and forth from Florida the longhand over a year. And the book's title is One Phone Call Away: Secrets of a Master Networker. And when I finished the book, I said, "What do I do now? I I don't know. I I never wrote a book before. How do I get this thing published? I am like debating. Do I call publishers? Do I call Do I try to find agent?" I said, "Wait a second. Let me let me call Harvey." So Harvey introduces me to his agent that's been behind him all these years. He says, "Send me the manuscript." So I send him the manuscript. Short period of time goes by. He says, "Jeff, I'm going to represent you." I said, "Seriously?" "Yes, gentlemen. I'm going to send you a contract. I'm going to represent. I said, "Little time goes by." He says, "I'm coming to New York. Leave your afternoon open. We sit down, talk for an hour and a half, so let's go." I said, "Where are we going?" He said, "Don't worry about it." We got downstairs. We jump in a cab. We go to the Penguin corporate headquarters. I go to meet the president of Penguin. Boom. The book's in six languages. I'm on the Today Show. That was my first book. Is there one story that pops into your head about some crazy story about meeting someone and then some crazy you know following following uh ideas? >> I want to flip a little bit here because I'm going to tell you a story that I is really a special story. Many many years ago when I started my company I banked at a bank in New York City called Republic National Bank. I used to go to the bank by myself to make my deposits my checks. And there was a banker there named Cliff that was like always there to help and very nice. And then one day I go to the bank, he's not in his office and the light switch is off. So for a period of time I noticed every time I went, he was in his office, his light switch is off. Maybe after a month it struck me. I went over to the secretaries and I said to them, "Where's Cliff? Is he still working in the bank? I see his name." "Oh, oh, he had he had a a tragedy in the family." And I said, "Oh, what happened?" I said, "Well, we're not at liberty. We can't share that with you." He said, "Oh." Finally, one day I go back to the bank. He's in his office. I walk over and I cliff, "Are you okay? What happened?" And you could see in his face he was in in terrible dismay. He closed the door and he tells me that his nephew was driving across the Cross Island Parkway. He and three other boys lost control of the car. They hit the curb. Car flew into the tree. Car blew up. Both four boys were killed, incinerated, horrible. His sister and brother-in-law, this is their only son, they're in terrible financial shape. Their house is in foreclosure. He had to borrow from his IRA to pay for the funeral. and he had to go identify his nephew was unidentifiable. And he's sharing this with me and he's crying sitting there directly across from me. I was so emotionally impacted by seeing his pain and I don't know why I did what I did. But I looked at him and I said, "Cliff, what's your sister's name?" And he tells me and and your brother-in-law and he tells me. I went back to my office. I spent the next number of days, I don't recall how many, calling anybody I knew that I felt comfortable enough to call to ask them to write a check to the family. $50, $100, 200. I got all these checks. I mean, I raised $17,000 at that time, >> which is way more than $17,000 now, >> right? This we're talking about 20 some odd years ago. >> I go back to the bank and I go to his door and I click, can I come and speak to you? And I tell him, I said, "I must tell you how much you this what happened to you affected me emotionally, and I I I I'm I'm pretty outgoing in terms of speaking, but I don't really have a lot to say. But I decided to do this." I started I tell him what I did. I take the checks. I put them on his desk. He starts to shake, literally tremble. Tears come to his eye. He gets up and grabs me, holds me in his arms, and I feel a tear hit the side of my cheek. I started to cry. He started crying. And we just stood there together holding each other. I left his office, went back, got a beautiful letter from his his sister, you know, shortly thereafter. The owner of Signature Bank died in a fire in Paris, uh, and and the bank was up for play and it got bought by HSBC. Cliff calls me up. He says, "Jeff, I need you. I got to speak to you right away." I said, "Are you all right, Cliff?" "No, can we have lunch today?" I said, "Cliff, I I've got a lunch me. Please cancel. I got to talk to you." I said, "Okay, okay." So, I go have lunch with him. He says, "You're not going to believe what happened." I said, "What?" He says, "You know about HSBC? They asking me to to be the number one banker at the branch here on Fifth Avenue and 40th Street. I get to run the bank. I get to run the whole thing there and it's more money I've ever made." And I I I it's unbelie I said, "Cliff, I had to cancel my lunch for you to tell me this. This is like good news." He says, "Yeah, but I don't know what to do." I said, "What do you mean?" Well, the executive team, they're not staying. They're leaving. They're creating this brand new bank called Signature Bank. They got Lou Reeri behind them, major guy, and they want me to go with them to be their number one banker. And and it's a startup. Most startups fail. I look at him. I said, "Cliff, you're going to the new bank." I'm pointing my finger at his face. "You're going to the new bank." "Well, I can't take the risk and I don't have I Cliff, they got major money behind them. Their culture is the right culture. HSB is this giant British behemoth. It's totally different type of operation. You go with these these are the right you go. I don't Cliff, I'm telling you what to do. I'm your friend. I care about you." He said, "Do me a favor. Can we eat the president of the bank? I want you. You're a read on him." So, we have another lunch. Great lunch. Joe Cliff's going, "Cliff, you're going Joe." He did the best decision he ever made. Signature went public. I So after they go public and they're growing, they have an event to raise money because they didn't have the cloud on the street at the time and maybe 300 people showed up at the uh Palace Hotel on 50th in MAD. I got there a little in the back of the room. So I have a rule. This is actually another chapter in my newest book. Always always ask the first question. So I'm sitting in the back. Meeting goes on for an hour and a half. Joe comes to the front of the day. Are any questions? I fly out of my chair flailing my arm. He sees me. He looks at me. Jeff, how are you? I said, I'm doing great, Joe. And I want to commemor, you know, compliment. And by the way, when you ask a first question, make sure it's a good first question. And he's and he's complimenting me and I said, I told him how great the bank is and all this. But I do have a question. I said, have you thought about opening a branch in South Florida? I'll bring you 100 people. You know that I know everybody. The entire room turned around and looked at me. Literally, he shot me down. They had no interest. I sit down. I go back to my office. Cliff calls me up maybe an hour after the meeting's over. I'm sitting with here with this guy Arthur and I was telling him all about you. He asked me about he said he heard about your book and he he wants to this day Arthur and I have been good friends and I've done a bunch of business with this guy Arthur. I go in my elevator in my apartment building and a woman gets in. She says, "Excuse me, you were at the signature bank meeting. I heard about your book. My husband works at the Jericho branch for signature." I get out of the elevator, talk to her for a while. Maybe a week later, I'm walking down Madison Avenue going to a shirt store. I'm looking at shirts. Some guy taps me on the shoulder says, "Signature, excuse me. You were at the Signature Bank meeting. You brought up the idea opening a branch in Bell Harbor. I have a place in Ber. I thought that was the greatest idea. Joe shot you down." I chat with him. He's in my phone. I've got his information. I never did anything with him, but I collected his information. Know who you know. Little time goes by. Cliff calls me. I says, "Listen, there's a head there's a meeting, a cocktail party, corporate headquarters. Joe asked me if he could attend. He wants to talk to you about something." I go to the cocktail party. There's all these real estate people there. He says, "Jeff, can I talk to you a second?" We go outside. He says, "Listen, two board seats became available in the bank. Senator Mato, we're giving him one. We'd like you to be take have a board seat on the bank." I go, "Huh? What? I'm the me. Who am I? You know, I have a little real estate." Me, seriously? So, I uh needless to say did it. It was the most incredible experience. Incredible bank. Uh maybe after four, three, four, five months, I turned to Clint Joe one day and I said, "Joe, how how did you decide to ask me to be on the board?" He said, "Well, when you got up and spoke and it was you and I I know that you're the master networker and I know you're a real estate guy and I know you're a lender and you were also responsible for us to get our number one banker. You convinced him to come." I said, "This is the guy we want to be on the board of the bank." And I stood there for a few minutes and I smiled and I said, "Wow." So going back to the statement about always ask the first question whenever and all you people listening to me whenever you're in a meeting when it comes to business and someone's presenting and it goes on and on an hour no matter what the people sitting in the audience they start to fade they start to lose their interest they start to get tired the first live wire the first thing that changes the focus people wake up so you have an opportunity to stand out so if you ask a first question you stand out everyone looks at you like those little funny stories that I shared but look What ultimately happened? I w up getting on the board of Signature Bank. But why did that opportunity really happen? Because of Cliff. Because I did something to make a difference to help someone that was in terrible pain who lost his nephew. There was no game plan for me. There was no like what's in it for me? What am I getting out of it? I did this because you have to make a difference. And because I did that, I became so important to Cliff in his life that when he had to make a crucial decision about his career, I'm the person he went to. That is such a beautiful story. Can I push you a little further here because I think a lot of students and you know college students, young professionals, they're just starting out their lives and they need to be focused on their own personal success. And I've asked this question to a lot of people like how do you sensitize yourself to not get caught up in your own narrative and to look at opportunities because how many people would have walked into that bank not even noticed that Cliff wasn't there and if they heard from Cliff done what you did? How do how do we bring ourselves a little bit out of ourselves? >> It's a great question and you know I'm sharing these stories because I all want you to start to think about what's not right in front of your nose but what's to the left and to the right of you and to learn how to create dimension in your life. If you're sitting there on social media all day long and going on Tik Tok or whatever these things and Reddit, it's a waste of time. No less. It's extremely dangerous. Go out and get involved in things. I have some new people that are involved in my current company and I've got some young people and I say to them, get involved in charity. Get get involved in something where you can make a difference. Not only are you making a difference, but you're learning and you're meeting people under a different context in terms of being a giver. You got to be a giver. It's not about being a taker. And if you're if you're living there in a monochromatic life where it's one thing, one channel, you're focusing one way, you're never going to grow. In my there's a chapter in my book called this new one called perception of self and that is when I ask someone what perception of self means most people say well it's how I see myself that's only half the definition perception of self is not important about how you see yourself perception of self is important about are you conscious of how other people see you and that is extreme extremely important I have a chapter of the strategic forum in New York one of our members is an accountant a CPA at a big firm whenever he speaks about who he is he gets up I'm an accountant you a partner here at the firm. That's all he says. So, I went and sat with him. I said, "Let me ask I want to just be very honest with you and share this with you." I I bring up this whole thing about perception of self. I said, "You're sharing something that I know 8,000 accountants. How are you different from everybody else?" You say that uh another accountant. Uh you you have to do you have a specialty cell? Is there something about you what you focus on that's different than normal accounts? you you want to stand outside the box and he pauses like becomes introspective and says well I I I my specialty is working with firms that are in the construction business that you know either remodel properties or build it it's a completely niche aspect niche aspect of of the accounting and that's the majority of my clients I said s you just came up with the secret sauce that's what you say about yourself that you stand I said in fact now that you told me that I've got three introductions for you that'll be appropriate for you and I literally made them thereafter after perception itself. It's not how I perceive myself, it's how other people perceive you. And you got to be conscious of that to stand. The more you do, the more you make difference, the more people are going to be attracted to you, which is going to create more opportunity. So if you're monochromatic, one color, you're one thing, that doesn't work. And for young people to start thinking about that now, becoming more knowledgeable, more omnisient about things around them, stand out. Someone Googles you and they find or see all sorts of cool things you're involved in, they want to meet you. >> So, we have an audience of 70 or 80,000 students and young professionals and you had 90 seconds to tell them something that's really important. What would you tell them? >> Listen to this podcast. >> They listen to it. They're up to here. >> Look, if if I could if I will offer anyone that wants to reach out to me because I always help people. Um, I'll I'll give my email address. can contact us in show notes >> and uh if I can be helpful to you and if I imparted anything today in our discussion that kind of rings a bell or stimulates you to think about stuff and you want some guidance as to the title of my first book. I'm one phone call away. >> Amazing. That's another generous offer from you. Thank you so much for coming down and it was really meaningful to talk to you. Keep doing the great things that you're doing and change the world one life at a time. We all need to do that, especially in this crazy world that what's going on out there. Unity is a lot better than animosity. And and if we can all embrace and make a difference and get out there and grab and hug each other, that'll be a great feeling. >> Beautiful. Thank you so much. >> Thank you for listening to Jewish Grit and Ol mentorship podcast. At Omi Mentorship, we believe that everyone needs a mentor. What better way is there to tap into your personal and professional potential than with a Jewish mentor at your side? Learn more at olam.org/mentorship. Don't forget to keep listening on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.