Sticks And Stones - Insulating Yourself From Insults

if someone insults us we often use extreme words to describe their insult like they put a knife in my heart really a word is no more than a puff of air with a feeble sound wave attached to it and yet sometimes it does indeed feel like a knife in our heart how does a puff of air turn into a knife the answer is that it's we who turn the insulting words of others into a knife few things are as precious to us as our self-esteem and yet for most of us our sense of value comes from others if other people ask our advice we feel smart if they seek our company we feel likeable if they criticize us we feel demeaned if they reject us we worry that perhaps we're unworthy insulting words turn into knives because we allow those words to define us imagine if one day an ant crawls across your car windshield and as he passes you by he turns his head and says loser after you get over the shock of a talking ant i don't think this experience would make much of a dent in your self-esteem why would i let an ant define who i am many feuds that then the perfectly good relationship are triggered by one single insult an insult says more about the person who said it than the person it said about either the insulter is frustrated or thoughtless or never learned the destructive power of words all of this is their responsibility to fix but for us if we want to live in peace with ourselves we need to stop the insult in its tracks on its way towards us we need to tell ourselves that we will not be defined by another person's communication or insensitivity challenges but here's the thing and it's magical if we don't breathe life into words of insult they can slide by us as the puffs of air that they really are we can remember the lesson of the ant we can stop letting others define us and define ourselves today's challenge when someone says something you find hurtful say to yourself your words don't define me but my reaction to your words do [Music] you