Step 2: Total Immersion Teshuva - Rabbi Efraim Stauber

[Music] okay so barhom we're getting really excited because I think we're really on a roll now by now you understand all the theories and all the principles of how this is gonna work you understand the core way that change is gonna happen through experiencing the pain of regret and the pleasure of satisfaction that is the Dynamo that will cause the change after that we went back in time I said okay the first step is choosing the Trouville goal and we talked about how to choose a passionate truble goal that's step one today we're gonna talk about step two total immersion chuva and that's the idea of harnessing the power of the subconscious because the way to really change and this is something that's different idea developed by rebus awesome answer and of course in psychology has developed a little very rare you know much further after that change doesn't happen in our conscious mind it doesn't happen or analytical thinking part of us although it's it's so common how many times you find yourself saying you know I really have to treat these people nicer I have to stop getting upset at my family I have to get 7oi of my co-workers oh man but every time that guy starts with that same story I get sore no you know just because we decided we need to change they doesn't change anything because change happens in the subconscious level so what the next step is how can we just bring to bear our full subconscious focus on the change that we want to create and it's actually very very simple the easiest thing to create is a habit because like we explained in the earlier classes the way the brain works the way the brain is shaped is by repetition if you do something again and again it will become a habit so much more useful in trying to break bad habits there's actually just forming good habits because as you form a good habit that will just will become hardwired into your brain maybe saw Santa talks about that Cydia and he says there are some that are so easy for us they're so easy for us just because we do them all the time we don't have to think about them you know the words that have definitely become very very deep the new kudasai hero it becomes very extended very much past these areas because when you do something again and again and again it becomes second nature becomes a habit you and therefore it's easy so we're gonna utilize the power of our subconscious mind our habit forming mind Mazda chuhwa and the key is to keep it easy so the first question I'm gonna ask you to help bring your subconscious mind to help out in your troop effort is what behavior can you do every day but that's easy for you to do the key is it's got to be easy easy for you to do that's gonna be in line with your cubicle so I'm just gonna go back to the same example that we've been talking about a ton I just so you get a picture what it is it was this woman who was working on her bra clothes as a way of achieving her spiritual goal which is being more connected more meaningful living a life that's you know more mindful and real what she decided that everyday when she sits down to eat dinner she's gonna take 30 seconds to have a little mindfulness exercise that's a beautiful thing to do anyway sit down in your chair it's been a hard day's work relax feel you feel your body just relaxing in the chair give yourself that gift enjoy the fact that you're resting after a whole day look around the table at your family members who's there your spouse your children smile at them enjoy them be happy that they're in your life and well not least important look at your plate of food yummy oh good I'm hungry there's gonna be food it's gonna be great and anticipate the pleasure you're about to have and said you know what do we usually do we sit down to supper and you know whatever you know you're looking at something reading it something wise you know we don't live mindfully so this is a person who wants to achieve this is not a difficult thing I asked her I asked her is it hard for you dude she goes no no that's gonna be easy so 30 seconds every day just create that habit the key here is I don't make the mistake I've chosen some kind of Kabbalah that's gonna be difficult for you thinking that you're gonna grow don't grow with this the way you're gonna actually change and grow we already told you that that's gonna come from the pain of regret and the pleasure satisfaction that's how you're going to change the purpose of this habit is not to work or you know one change it's just to do something easy utilize the power of your subconscious mind to create a habit because if you just do something that's easy for you every day with this woman it's easy for you to have that mindful moment what's can happen is automatically after you do this for a week for two weeks you know it's can happen in the third week automatically every time you sit down to supper or to other meal we just never come automatically in your mind that moment of yeah let me get more real and of course that's gonna affect your brothers and that's going to help her get more conscious with her brothers and with our Shem okay so the next thing we talked about is habit so I already have a spiritual goal a passion spiritual goal that's step number one there's gonna be five steps here step them one is choosing the goal step number two is what a habit can you form easily that's in line with that goal okay step number three once again these are steps in employing your subconscious mind so you're just completely immersed in it what Tyra can you learn about your goal because we saw something talked about this also he says there's nothing like learning tire brush see it's hereditary tablet Tiger has it besides the spiritual powers that it has but it also has the ability to occupy your mind in every level consciously analytically and subconsciously when you learn about something when you get creative but you think about it your maja dish in it and it's on your mind then it's also on your mind when you're not learning that's what tire that's that's this school of terror Tiger even when you're not learning you're tired it's just kind of in the in the background so learn educate yourself think about be maja - be creative in the area that's important to you so if you're if Broca's are important to you so then what book did she choose to learn maybe it was I think the power of MA there was like a book the book called the power of a man there's also a halakhah book that she loved as if she was interested in so learn about Broca's learn about kevanna learn about saying a mane because when you're thinking about these things what's gonna happen is once again your subconscious mind is gonna be busy with it so even when you forget you won't really forget it's gonna be something that you're busy with so you have a passionate goal you have a habit that you're forming you're learning something and now it's time to discuss your prayer formulate a laser-focused simple prayer that you could say tosh em any time and what this woman came up with was something more or less like this Hashem please help me live with awareness and connectedness to you and the richness and the pleasure let me have grant me the religious and the pleasure that comes with that it's very very beautiful moving prayer very simple it's one sentence and whenever you're feeling the need of that make sure you say that at least once a day or whenever you feel that can you so it's something that's on your mind it's something you're thinking about it something you're dabbing for so what do we have so far you have our passionate goal you have a habit that you're forming you have tire that you're learning and you have a prayer that's Charlotte Pei but you have a prayer that's at the tip of your tongue this is what you want there's a fifth element and this actually happens to be my favorite and this is what I call dedicating the day it's the high yom-yom exercise and in order to explain what this is we need to talk about shoppers again for a second we already explained to him like the earlier Clips how does Shabbos have to do a true vote by the way shoppers is the same letters it's a shave the word is shove Shabbos is when the world returns to spirituality Chavez has maintained alum haba shabbos is the day that Hashem wants us to enjoy him Hashem says have you achieved some spirituality I hope so well what I would like you to do is enjoy me enjoy spirituality they have love as they have closest with a color sparkle of course we could only enjoy it to the extent that we worked on then developing their relationship all week but just like I love my bar just like them how about you'll enjoy a sham to the extent that you worked on it during litem how's that on Shabbos you'll enjoy obviously the extent that you worked on that all week so on Shabbos Hashem wants us to enjoy our spirituality but it's not just on Shabbos there's a mitzvah to focus our entire week on this is an amazing amazing Rashi and ROM ban on the posture Kazakh so much avocado the project says doctor so much I was a catcher and some you know it means you should remember Shabbos to make it holy but it doesn't just mean to remember it the we learned a lot of her losses soccer so much Travis means to mention it to make kiddush but Rashi points out is more than that if it would say is a car with a Shiva right so then it would be a commandment thou shalt mention or remember the Shabbos but it says with a comet's Zohar that's a very interesting grammatical usage of the word and Rocchi says it doesn't mean to do something it means it's amazing Rashi it means to be in a state of remembrance it brings another person off how life will be later the person we saw said he was walking and crying and he was in a state of sadness how life Oh Burke I wasn't whole a kabocha who is how like uber hi he was just so sad he was crying Zohar means nothing you should remember you in remembrance I think the best way to sit and simple English is to be obsessed to be up when you're obsessed with something you're always thinking about it Rashi brings the famous kumara of Shama who was clearly obsessed with Shabbos because what happened every time he saw something yummy he bought it for Shabbos he said oh here's something delicious I'm gonna buy it for Shabbos anything worse is the next day he saw something even younger than that so we ate the first thing and about the next one for Shabbos what's this mother telling us well yeah Shami spent the whole day eating well you know what they were telling us that Shana was obsessed with Shabbos he was always thinking about it and anytime you saw something that could be used for Shabbos oh great that's for Shabbos right what does that mean what's this obsession with Chavez well it's just nothing more than obsessions with Hashem it's an obsession with our spirituality I want to achieve spirituality I don't want to get there and I want to enjoy it that's the midst of the house in which I was attached that just all when Chavez comes we're supposed to enjoy spirituality were supposed to prepare for Shabbos all week so let's be obsessed with Shabbos we'll see honor of mine there are biases in that plastic that Jews don't count the days of the week by name the way you got him do we don't say Sunday Monday Tuesday we say you're me Shan Shan eh Lee she and it's admitted I rise to their and bond says if you say how you're your own tissue the Shabbos which it is by the way I just got a mitzvah yay for me right if you say you're me she know you're she Shops you got a mitzvah why because what defines a Jews day is how close it is to Shabbos the whole week is about preparing for Shabbos the first day toward Chavez it's the second day today is the third day there's only six days of preparation guys and ready at the third day it's a third day torture that's what the day is you know where you see this kind of thing you know someone's getting married you see like what's today today today is six days to my wedding that's what today is right that's a person who's obsessed with something Hashem wants us not just to think he wants to be obsessed with Shabbos he wants to be obsessed with our life goal because guess what if you want to be a gold medalist olympia you want to really succeed at something you need to be obsessed with it it needs your life needs to be about it and our job as Jews is to be gold medal Olympians at life at achieving spirituality at achieving infinite eternity that's what a Shem wants us to be obsessed with eternity and infinity so high yom your machines your Shabbos today is a third date or shop is how does that fit into our Tula program well exactly when we say today is the third day to our Shabbos what that means is I am dedicating my day to my spiritual goal so point back into the example my spiritual goal let's say is to be more connected more aware of a sham more mindful and therefore make better bras so every day if you're a man so you've got a shawl and you say this in in show you see Cher show you I'm over there your mum she's a Shabbos but whether or not you're saying it and so it's very easy to say today is the third date or Shabbos which means I hereby dedicate my day to my spiritual goal because when Shabbos comes hash on themselves they've come to celebrate with me my spirituality and I want to enjoy that I want to enjoy Hashem I want to enjoy my spirituality in three more days so today is the third day to our Chavez and I'm dedicating my day to my spirituality Shabbos and one more step let's do a little visualization let's anticipate the pleasure that we're gonna have on Shabbos when we make a better a shorter today when do you make that brought to just picture your mind okay I'm gonna make a bunch of that my goal is to make better brought us and to be more conscious right I'm gonna have that sit before dinner and so when I do that and I do that well Wow then when Shabbos comes gonna be amazing so both tonight when I do the clarinet fish I'm gonna enjoy that and both when Shabbos and also when Shabbos comes I'm gonna try that and of course the other side of the coin if I do the flesh beneficient I didn't really do it I'm gonna regret that and then of course on Friday when I'm doing Chu I'm gonna regret that so anticipate the regret of failure and anticipate the pleasure of success and dedicate your day so these are the five steps for total or Mercia and chuhwa so it's not only in your conscious mind it's often your subconscious mind you have a passion to go I'm gonna live more mindful and conscious connected to Hashem with brockless right number two I have a habit that I'm foreign in a mindful moment every day before dinner three I have Torah that I'm learning about it so to fill my mind with this for I've got a prayer at the tip of my tongue has shown please help me achieve connectedness to you five every day we dedicate our day we start the night to this in the morning every day how yom-yom Ashley she the Shabbos dedicate today to your spiritual go send your email to the tourists enter gmail.com join us let's do to be together and let's have a better life [Music] you [Applause]