Special Chazaq Singles Lag B'Omer Event with Rabbi Lazer Brody - Emuna & Shidduchim

thank you very much now there are some people in the world know where roslin actually is so you have to know we and kazakh away long back hashem i don't have to tell you what hazak does hazak is an important organization one of the main things that they do they bring many people together there are they have succeeded making shalom in many different places and that's a great thing that they do so now tonight's event they'll bring more people together and there actually will be more shalom in the world so i have to know that kazakh has a sunday program for kids but that's not hazak makes lectures but that's not hazak's main let's say bread and butter hazak has a hub which is called the langley of the jewish world and they just you give them a name of a person that is not in jewish school you give it to the secret missions and they'll just make sure that the person gets to a jewish school and jewish education so that's one of the main things you have to pay a lot of money in order to get to the langley and the cia headquarters of kazakh now i have to thank many people that have arranged this event for tonight it's first of all we have to thank kazakh we have to thank all the chatroom that have come from near and it's just not what you see here there have more people in their list and in their books and there have been a few events just this past week so if you don't find someone tonight you better to show me you'll find them at the end of the night okay so and that's the two shot honey that i've been very very involved in this event it's uh mrs rebecca joseph and rabbi shalom and mrs frumi weinberger i also have to thank my you have to know tonight is one of rabbi akivas and rabbi akiva said i have to thank my robertson that has done tremendously even a lot of things preparation that you see today it's because of her today and all the volunteers that came from far and near thank you very much and i don't have to talk to you tell you about amuna and shidduchim there is one place that a person needs a muna it's really and there is if you go throughout the world in the english-speaking world and the person that personifies in talking about amuna and talking driving that message home it's none other than rabeliazer brody that he has been forefront forefront of emunah and this is not only by shidduchim by everything today you need it because as it says i'll tell you personal story i used to go out with one girl after one date two dates was off so everybody thought i'm not going to get married until i found my wife okay so barak hashem you go up with your ammuna and your right person at the right time rabbi brody besides public speaking has written many books translated a few and he says also this is a tool to take home you hear a speech five minutes uh so you hear a speech five minutes you actually did not uh do anything but you heard a little bit but if you go through the books you get the tools that's needed in order that you should go through life without further ado we would like to ask brodie to come and guide us through emunah and vitacon thank you very much and enjoy your night [Applause] every time i get hooked up you can hear it okay you can hear in the back every time i get hooked up to the mic i feel like uh somebody preparing in hamas a suicide bomber sending suicide but the way i go into my missions let's let the evil inclination commit suicide not us okay and the evil inclination wants you to think why is he called evil because he's negative eagle clay says you're never going to get a shidduch you're never going to be successful you're over the hill you're past the age you don't want to know when laser brodie found his real zebu how old he was late 30s but when he went and found what i found it was worth waiting for worth waiting for i'm going to tell you a story true story and this is a story that happened by rabbi kaim kanefsky the great of the generation he left us he left the physical world just a few months ago there was a young man and a young man who was brokenhearted he would go on a shido would last for him one date one date and he bit refusal this guy had so many refusals he had dozens of refusals he's a wonderful guy great personality best guy in yeshiva wonderful family with a good name but he had a problem he had this great big scar on his face that started on his eye went all the way down his cheek and close to his neck it's great scott so uh shotgun would talk to the girl's family and talk about this guy's malad shotgun would say everything except the scar he said wait when the girl sees him and he hears him and this maybe she'll like him so after he got refusal 38 he was broken really broken-hearted and he was already about 27. he had been in shidduchim for six years he was learning he didn't want to go to china before six years 36 and said he even had a he had a about every two months okay 36 she took him in six years after refusal 36 or 37 he went to rabbitheim kanewski and he sat down and he got in and he started opening his mouth he couldn't say he just broke down crying he cried and he cried he cried and the rapper says right away he didn't have to tell robbie hennig why i was there and raphael kenowski said in yiddish he said your next is okay don't worry just trust the shem go with the muna your next is going to be okay because you're gonna you find her you're married but he says rabbit rabbit heimki said to him but i've got some i've got some training to tell you what to do on the next he says robbie what'd i do next doki stop crying he says right away tell the young lady before she talks sit down with her and tell her how you got your scar okay didn't know what what tell tyler i get to call tell her how you got the scar they got shido i think was number 38 maybe around 37. and he does exactly the godolador the greater the generation the great rabbit generation said to him sit down and tell her first thing how you got your scar so they wanted the to where they wherever they met and had the and he went in showing the right size she wouldn't decent scar right away then they sat down then he looked straight away she saw the big scar and he says you know how i got my scar she says how it's intriguing since i was walking down naveem street new shalom and when right near where west jerusalem ends and east jerusalem starts on the way to the coastal and there was a terrorist there this was the time that every single day there was knife stabbings in yerushalayim that's unfortunately it's come back here at sea's but this was a time some years ago one of the empty fathers there was knife stabbed you slime every every single time and i saw a terrorist about to attack a young girl and i couldn't let that happen so i went and i yelled at the terrorists and i stopped that and the girl ran away and the terrorists that's what he did to me i fought him and i fought him wait until he ran away but before he ran away he succeeded in cutting my face open the girl started crying and she cried and she cried now she's crying hysterically like he was crying at rip time and he says what are you crying about did i scare you did i upset you she says no i was the little girl you saved that first night they decide they're going to get married this is hashem and ash hashem's divine direction this young girl was 18 he had to wait because she was maybe 10 years old he had to wait for the eight whenever he was six eight she's 10 or 12 years old he had to wait till she was 18 and he's already 28 or whatever he was waiting for them to get married sometimes you wait today a couple came to me and a guy lost his wife last year he's in his early 50s the woman was in her late 40s she was a widow for 21 years he was a widow for one year and they just got married they said that someone was walking down the street in flatbush and they stopped there a blazing you're here yeah we just got married and also tell if i didn't know this couple they knew me that's of course they told me their story and i said it's a no-brainer and she says well you know why my my husband he waited one year i waited 21 years so rabbi went away 21 years i said because he wasn't ready yet he's your bashir and you guys are going to have a wonderful wonderful life but sometimes you ever go to an exclusive restaurant exclusive restaurant is haas versum not some fast food thing if somebody goes uh somebody said that's not jewish goes to mcdonald's he gets his hamburger how fast a snap okay you go to a fancy restaurant it's not prepared it's specially prepared a shidduch is what hashem specially prepares for you and sometimes we have to wait sometimes we have to wait i end the thing with with my rabbits and she had with me so what happened i had all types of different problems and the one war in another war and i was in the idf for the combat and my rebels and she had all kinds of problems hashem made big delays in our life until we get together they're talking about someone who thinks everybody thinks oh yeah laser brody you go around everybody knows you go around the world your speaker your writer your author people don't know let me tell you something i said i all have an expression people think that this is uh some kind of hippie hasidish expression when laser brodie says beloved brothers and sisters the torah says they were all sons and daughters of hashem and so when i speak to every jew it's my brother my sister because the torah says so bonnie sons daughters so when i speak to you it's like talking to my own kids right to my little brother and little sister as if i'm the big brother big sister and the only difference between us is that uh my passport has got an older date than your passport does okay my bed but you don't get amuna from eating chocolate ice cream and it's funny that the people that are delayed in shidduchim don't be jealous of the ones that get married 18 19 20 21 i get a lot of problems on my plate from people and sometimes the young people that are not ready for marriage and they're not mature enough and they go in and they find out that marriage is not comfort city it's not comfort zone and all of a sudden see a guy says to me he says rabbi she doesn't meet my needs i say you know something tonight is the earth side of rabbi shimon bar rabbi you know what rabbi shimon bar yohai wrote in the tsar he says that the man is the son and the woman is the moon according to kabbalah the moon doesn't have her own light a whole woman's rhythm goes according to the moon the hebrew month and her month it's all rhythm of the moon and the guy works in the sun what's the sun the sun shines light on the moon when a guy says to a woman she doesn't meet my needs excuse me sir you're a female your needs you want your needs to be fulfilled it means you want her to influence you you want the moon to shine on the sun it doesn't work like that okay now the moon knows how to do great things with the light she gets from the sun if you study agriculture you learn that certain things in canada they can make greenhouses and they can grow tomatoes and cucumbers they can't grow watermelon because the watermelon family grows according to the light of the moon they can only grow in an open field and they can't grow in a greenhouse so we see from this that the moon does wonderful things that it gets from the light of the sun but you have to be an influencer so i said to this guy excuse me you got married this guy learned in your shiver learned everything and i said you had instruction madrid he says yeah i don't mean to discredit your madrid maybe he told you the dry laws that uh you can't have this he's certainly geared before marriage you can't you can't do that you don't touch it and even after marriage there's certain times where you can't touch and the laws are pretty i called you the dryer locus but it didn't teach your muna i didn't teach you the man's job the function okay you've got to influence her so there's a guy young couples that go on and they have no idea what it's all about she thinks marriage oh now i get my nine thousand dollar shaytan okay the guy only makes four thousand bucks a month he's gotta work two and a half months just to put a shaker on her head come on young lady you didn't get married for comfort city you got married to raise a family you got married different to bring two new showmans together and bring the shumas into the world people don't know sometimes so if when hashem doesn't want you to get married at age 18 it's a blessing and i'll tell you why if you read our book the three books of the three words of amunah it tells you about milwaukee there's no one but hashem that's three words of amuna and we learned three things i'll give you a real synopsis quick thing but if you read the book it'll be like spending four hours with me and you won't have any more questions about amuna but you can ask me all your questions about amuna i'm not going to talk long i'm going to take questions the very first thing a jew believes in and it's funny girls go to basiaco if guys go to yeshiva i guarantee you if i ask i don't want to embarrass anybody hashold that's the last thing i ever want to do is embarrass the jewish neshomer but if i ask sometimes i ask robayam what jews believe in rabbis and they don't know how to answer me you believe that they know ashrae by heart they know entire tract takes a gamora almost by heart i say recite me the thirteen principles of the wrong bomb throat prism they don't know it they don't know it nobody ever taught them a muna nobody ever taught them the number one what the rahman's the first principle i believe with the full and complete belief that hashem he is creator and director hashem's not retired his creator and director hashem the shotgun and the chatronas they are only messengers you don't ask a shotgun for your you ask them to be hashem's shaliah and a best shot and the best shotgun it are the ones that know that i'm not the big man on the campus or big woman on the campus i know that everything i do is from hashem laser brodie cannot walk across the street or tie his shoes or get out of bed without hashem and much more to say something that makes sense we need hashem for every single heartbeat for every single breath and hashem is creator and director says the wrong bomb of every here you go you see i was waiting for the yetzer to bug me the yates here says okay lazy you're gonna start talking to muna no that's it when i was in baltimore i blew up seven microphones in minneapolis three speaker systems i'm sorry that the kazakh robbie if something happens to the equipment that's uh it's the answer because he doesn't what i told the guys in kazakh i said if you're bringing the shamans close to shem and you're in a moon and you're in kiruf and it's the same thing in shidduchim the evil inclination wants to do everything in the world to prevent the shidduch because when you find your shidduch and you get together this is building an entire world and it's bringing mashiach closer and it's a gemura that says that for every jewish neshoba that comes in the world that brings mashiach closer because she is going to come after all the neshomers come into the world and you do bring a closer yes she doesn't want that so how does the acer prevent the she do first of all he doesn't want you learning a muna no this you don't do and secondly well if you don't learn a munich you're gonna be depressed and you'll be anxious and you're gonna be doubts oh that's what the yates are wants oh now you're depressed who wants to marry a depressed person so keep coming you go on a date and the guy sees the girls not smiling the girl sees the guy's not smiling and they've been rejected so many times so this is just another rejection that likes a can you imagine a super bowl player walking on the field i'm going to lose the game no he didn't make it to the super bowl that there's one thing that an israeli commando learns and it's in the blood there is no option of losing who captures victory that there's a mission to do in my mind the mission is already accomplished just get a small technical difficulty is how i'm going to do it okay solve the small problem but the fact that we're going to complete the mission no doubt about it you put in your mind think positive and think emunah and know that hashem could do whatever he wants whenever he could do it but everyone everyone whatever okay and i bless you all that in the nearest future you're gonna be gonna be kalot why not a man you don't believe why not a man i bless you with it okay and it should be the whole thing the roof i made no that single person said i mean that shows that you lack a motor that's what i came here for you don't believe in hashem you don't believe in yourself you gotta believe in hashem you gotta believe in yourself does anybody doubt that hashem could send them the shidduch no in the nearest future there you go three-point swish now the yetzer has committed suicide because i had hope that i'm not saying it it's if it's when not if and when and i want to get from queens from roslind from long island please please please send me wedding invitations okay and you could get my email from robbie with you from the guys in kazakh they'll tell you how to get in touch with me because people tell me their problems i hear the problems they're showing my problems i have problems finding but then they forget to tell me when they find their schedule they forget to involve me and say i want to know it makes i'm just as happy as as your parents are because what's the difference between me and your biological parents you feel like you're all my kids hashem that come from eretz israel and it's the most special special privilege to be here and to encourage you to talk to you know that your shidduch is on the way but the good food the chef is preparing the good food the chef is preparing good you're about to get a fantastic that's special tailor-made for your neshama and what are you worried about you do all you need is one you don't need two you don't need to all you need is one and do you know why you got a rejection because it's not the right one and maybe the young couple that got married for the wrong reason were supposed to get married to make a family to get closer to hashem to do his mitzvahs because a woman can't do her mitzvahs alone and a guy can't do with mrs alone to accomplish the mitzvah torah we have to have a mate soul mate a man and a woman a man and a woman at two halves of one neshama this is also rabbi shimon baruch he wrote it in the tsar and breishi and that's why a man and a woman called paul get the goofer a half a body half in a shower and you come together and you see a husband and a wife that they have shalom bite they look alike they look alike because they're real two halves of nashoma and the light of their neshamas express they come together that they look alike and that's why the expression that king solomon says it's why why is that okay maybe lovers uh according to aloha you can't be lovers until your best friends and the word of hebrew is reim where's rahim come you love your neighbors yourself you don't get married for your own gratification mar needs to be met you know when i was 11 years old in 1960 people don't believe that i'm i'm 73 because i'm one of the olden rabbi one of the few rabbis in the world that's also a fitness trainer okay you can still stay in good shape i have to be in good shape to what i do the way i run around the world okay thank you hashem because it's you have to know that when you get married you're doing it to do hashem some mitzvahs and you get gratification but you're acting like hashem you're giving so tony i would oh why tell you my age because in 1960 when john f kennedy ever heard of john f kennedy he was president united states john f kennedy had a famous expression he said ask not what your country could do for you ask what you could do for your country and i say the same in shidduchim paraphrase him i say ask not what your partner could do for you ask what you could do for your partner that's the secret they shall invite when we all take responsibility that the shalom bite is up to me and this you know now i'm going to tell you how to find your soul mate really fast number one you ask hashem hashem find me my soulmate number one bring a shaman to the picture hashem i want you in my life hashem does not there was once a movie by sidney poitier the big actor guess who's coming to dinner hashem does not come uninvited to dinner hashem doesn't come uninvited to your life hashem comes into your life when you evolve hashem in your life hashem i want you to be involved in my life that's it hashem i want you you know my nashamah you brought my nisham into the world you know what's best for me hashem but now girl they don't want to tell nobody not the parents don't know what to do not they're baptized i tell them dude i know what's best for myself uh uh guys do you know in america american divorce statistics this is still not just jewish world but in america first marriages and you can check me you could google divorce certificates first marriages break up in the first 10 years if they were in the major league baseball they'd be a losing team nobody would pay you don't want to be about losing team only 48 succeed hold it nobody says they succeed because uh then they go and they get married again second marriages in the first first 10 years of a second marriage only 38 succeed 62 percent break up and then what do they do some people like in hollywood they change their partners like they change their socks they go into third marriages of third marriages are destroyed within the first 10 years of marriage only 13 of a third marriage stays viable after 10 years but nobody said maybe after 12 years once after 10 years nobody had no efforts then we don't want to be those statistics and unfortunately the jewish community his influence from the outside world it used to be that in the orthodox community there were five percent divorces that declined to seven percent divorces the other community last thing i heard it's up more than double 17 percent divorces even though the general could be oh we're only a third of the general a third it could and this is a this is a consolation they're only a third of the general american public it's three times of what it was in the jewish world ten years ago what's going on here what's going on because people are getting married for the wrong reasons i need my needs fulfilled and you see people and one thing as a trainer as a trainer why i became a fitness trainer because people come with body and soul connected problems i see people have kyphosis young people are hunched back at age 22 why because they walk they don't look up they don't look up at the sky they look at the cell phone and they will talk tech messaging and some get hit by cars for show them because they're not crawling across the street looking at their text message or tick tock or what's up or whatever no and they don't know how to communicate because everything is in icons and they have these therms nervous thumbs the thumbs don't stop and young people don't know how to save a compliment say thank you that's a you know icons a dub colon in parentheses that's a smile no smile with your mouth not with the color in the parentheses now do i see so there's a problem it's a problem need to get back to basics and basics of the shams the first law of getting married is ask hashem ask hashem to help you hashem says oh my beloved son my beloved daughter you want me to help you you got a deal you've got a deal i'm waiting to see what happens but not literally to me but crying and complaining that's it hashem that like you don't like you're crying complaining asham hashem if you didn't give me a soul mate now you learn in three words of moon of the sham is creator and director who's that creator and director ah that's my father in heaven therefore number three number one hashem's creative director number two hashem is my father in heaven number three therefore everything hashem does in my life is for the best so hashem i know even though i'm 25 26 27 35 36 37 i don't know how much time i get maybe you've done it to save me a divorce maybe you've done it there's a couple perfect couple marry did the guy picture book couple he's the number one guy in ishiva she's the number one girl in the bass yakov and everything is picture booked until after two years after the hoopa and one of them comes down hashom khas vishal with the terminal disease nobody's jealous of them anymore we've got pity hashem knows what he's doing don't be jealous of anyone you don't know what's going on behind closed doors and they're jealous of the girl that got married at 19 and you're jealous that the guy that got married at 22 don't be jealous because maybe hashem didn't want you to end up with a sick spouse and hashem didn't want you to enter another cup of writing right in israel neighbors married after kids book hashem beautiful family boom boom boom boom boom five kids the woman's 28 he's 32. last year in iran no longer don't know hashem as savior hashem is doing is delaying you for the best you know the story and this true story good aaron's his role we live in the land of amuna a girl was in jaffa street near shalayam and a bus didn't stop for her and she ran back and she was angry she had to get to work and if she missed this bus she's gonna wait 15 minutes for another bus and she banged the door the guy wouldn't stop the driver wouldn't stop why did you not stop and she yelled at him she almost cursed at him okay the bus went two stops and boom terrace bomb suicide bomb on the bus a young lady do you have any more questions any more questions about hashem no then all of a sudden she saw the delay hashem how many people that missed the bus and it it turns out that mr missed the subway into manhattan and if they made the subway on time and he made his office in the 38th floor of twin towers on september 11 2001 and hashem made him miss the bus no he was angry about missing the bus or missing the subway whatever don't be angry about the delay i promise you i'll sign a paper that is all for the best and when you got not if when you get your zevo and you see the wonderful zebra you get you're going to be embarrassed how you doubted hashem but don't want to go there put it aside now hashem i know you will send me my seafook and hashem i'm thanking you ahead of time this is the second thing you've always showed me life already now start thanking hashem the savings plan thank you hashem hashem i know you're preparing my zevook for me like the chef prepares the food thank you hashem for my seafood and i have no doubt oh so what happens hasheb says you've got enough emunah to believe that i'm going to send you a seafook i'm not going to disappoint your amuna you got it but don't hold the stopwatch then i get though oh i get emails rubble i've been doing this for two months what's he two months don't told stopwatch that's not real lamuna hashem will he do because hashem could do whatever he wants whenever he wants but sometimes hold it hashem has a partner with you that's got fantastic ammonite and you're a little bit weak in a moonah the ship doesn't want to make that safe he wants you to get stronger than muna so strengthen your ammuna learn what a jew believes and learn 13 principles of moon and learn about hashem's protest we got a brand new book bok hashem google amazon top 100 orthodox jewish books it's already in the top 100 bestseller list and it's only been out for three weeks it's called divine direction and there's a whole chapter in shidduchim hashem engineers got in here it's amazing what hashem does learn about a mona learn about hashem and it's funny and your shivers and base shackles they teach you all things this track takes a good more by heart novi by heart they don't teach about ubuntu we have to learn about amuna she said the first thing involve hashem in your life second thing thank hashem for the good he's done in your life and the good he's about to do for your life we thank hashem past present and future and the third thing is look for the right thing what do you look for uh look for girls look for money guys look for miss america uh you know what rebbe nachman says about money rebbi nachman says one of two things happened to money he says either hashem takes the money for the person or something takes the person for the money but they don't stay together and i've seen a couple a young woman from a very very fine rabbinical family in your shalom and her husband was a baltruva from germany her sister's all married to call her guys she don't want to be a cop her call a wife she want a guy with money she married a german jew was learning in asia torah and her parents said no this is not for she knows you want to go to bed but i don't want to be poor modelling sisters for the first year she was rolling in money the second year she married for money the second year the guy wasn't a talmud like uh their sister's husbands thank you so much the second year there was an intrigue in the family business back home in berlin and they kicked the young man out of the business all of a sudden he's got the wrong founder says he's got no income no nothing and so what did this young man do it was meanwhile about shuffle he's looking the family was they had some i think he started listen to this from a shomer shabbat shambha shabbat learning torah he started selling and i'm using nice terminology women's lingerie on amazon on the internet okay so selling women's lingerie on amazon and internet he was looking at pictures of women dressed like all day long and it wasn't long before the kippah came off and it wasn't long before he started eating non-kosher and being away from home and she was left already with one baby and another one on the way and a husband off the derrick and he had meanwhile had taken her they left there's this world she left eric's world no family no support system husband brought you this kite out and just went to raise her to raise her kids she married for money he married for good looks i could tell you horror stories about guys that marry for good looks all of a sudden something happens and she has a difficulty a tumor and the doctors have to operate but the problem operation the tumor is very close to the eye that she's left with this big scar in her eye hospital only married for good looks you're married for the wrong reason and not shame shamayim that the reason they go and you're left with something all of a sudden you left but wait a second i'm going to give you the best reason in the world to get married and if you listen to me you're going gonna find your soulmate very fast we said first involve hashem second thank hashem third look for a good heart [Music] look for a good heart a good heart it doesn't leave a woman like a good figure does after her second or third child a good heart doesn't leave a guy even though he made a bad business deal and he lost money a good heart is what it lasts in a good heart is what you grow old to 120 with the three laws find a good schedule you go with these three things strengthen the muna involve hashem in your life thank hashem and look for the good heart and you've got my blessings that in the nearest future i say for the third time kazakh that every one of you should be a hassan and kala with a great seavook amen go ahead yes we promised a q a and some of you sent in questions call me a big boy oh man and we are going to take some of the questions um this is what i actually do dating coaching myself and two so some of these questions have also come up with people i've worked with um two program notes there's a gonna be a shotgun table over there later for whoever wants to meet shidduch and the rav swarm which you mentioned which already uh best seller on amazon will be available right after this speech they're all over here and they are amazing i've learned many of them myself be happy and absolutely get them pre-signed and inscribed if you sell them on bait later don't i don't need it cut um so one of the questions that one guy sent in he says you know he's toddlers versus just you know letting hashem run the show do you lay back and say you know it's pre-ordained it's bettah and i'm leaving it to hashem or or how much push do you have to do it how much work do you have to do and what if like the girl says no um do you still try to push her and convince her or is that a sign from hashem so it's like two questions in one lovely thank you rav reinberger glad to have you here and and thank you for the question it's important and ask me difficult questions bo hashem because difficult questions with the moon and they have answers a person's established effort depends on this level of a muna it's like in bitcoin the more emunah is at the inverse proportion the more a moon a person has less hishtadlus i know if i believe what ghazal tells us in the gomorrah that my bashar is destined for me and it was declared 40 days before i was even born i'm gonna get her she's gonna get me that's it there's not gonna be there's no mistakes hashem does not make mistakes shem does not make mistakes so it depends on the person's level so basic thing what he could do i'll give this a hasidic story about rabi zusha for nipali reby zusha's emunah was perfect his holy students was a sit and learn torah and he didn't work he didn't earn money and the stories about how he got food or people and all of that bring him food and he would say in yiddish he'd look up in the sky and he said hashem's hungry he would say look up in the sky and said hashem zusha he wouldn't even talk to himself in first person first president was only for hashem and third person like it was nothing hashem zush is hungry all of a sudden somebody would come with something leftover food and favorite toast called they put it put it right on his plate that would suppose it's his level of ammuna but we all have to know the level of a muna you can ask for the love he knows the rav of the killer yak vodka of what does my statlet need to be a person to know what level of ash toddler should consult his rabbi a spiritual guy someone that knows him but i'd say basically all you have to do is pick a shot in your trust or your parent trust okay pick a shot that you trust tell them what you're looking for finish put a smile on your face you don't have to call 54 chat honey you don't have to call this hashem sin and that's why it's so so important your biggest your biggest effort in finding a shinto is strengthening the muna but strengthening the more you strengthen the muna then the less you have to break your head against the wall okay that's in my answer for that hey uh the rub at the rub said bring it on the tough questions so we will and also we have balanced ask answer also questions so this comes directly from a boy i worked with and also a someone sent it in we have the rev mentioned that the bus blew up and when it went away so but the other half you got saved from the bus but somebody else's father never passed away in my run somebody else's cousin somebody else's son and they're unfortunately bad things happen and they're hard and you have to understand and and have been taken that the rav always talks about and it's important but this boy asked me he says intellectually i know it but how do i not feel bad when my friend has it so much better than me and i'm suffering i don't have money and i i struggle with difficulties and and i don't want to go through this guy's whole life but people have trouble and they struggle they have their heart broken a boy says no a girl they were really into just says you know i don't think you're the one how do you take it from that level of intellectual and bring it into your heart and really really feel it in israel there's a custom a 10th anniversary custom israeli husbands for 10th anniversary they buy their wife either a batik a great big batik or a 10 000 piece puzzle and the wife they're a tenth year of marriage she works on this boutique on the tent beef puzzle and when she finishes it the husband takes it and buys a great big frame and a frame i did in israel that's about translated in dollars it's eight hundred dollars it's a lot of money in israel you're talking about like more than 2500 shekels and you put it in your living room and this is the husband's pride and joy this is my wife's handiwork okay now if you buy your wife a 10 000 piece puzzle and she loses one of the pieces and there's 9999 pieces of the puzzle the one piece of the puzzle is missing are you going to spend eight nine hundred dollars a thousand dollars for a frame and put it up because it's got a gaping hole in the middle even a little hole nobody would do it because they're perfect okay and if she did the petite and she left a few needle points or empty it's imperfect nobody would frame that okay we know that something missing one piece out of a 10 000 piece puzzle it's it's blemished when it comes to a puzzle of a person's life we don't even have one piece out of the 10 000 pieces this is the answer when somebody looks at somebody else they got it better than i do they got a zebra they got a better partner so they got better health you don't know what's going behind closed doors you know why americans spend so much money on gillette and sd louder and and chatting and gyms and all kitsonius outside exterior you don't know what's going on behind the closed doors you don't know whether one of the members whether his wife or her husband suffers from acute anxiety from clinical depression oh they come out they make up and they smile on the outside it's all a plastic smile everybody one thing that's the difference between israelis and americans americans say how are you why do you think once you come over sometime an israeli says no coffee at my house eight o'clock they say when you say something no how are you how i have to come with the plastic smile no not that narrative's role and not that no people say americans they say oh the israelis they're so impolite they're so direct no they say what they mean they say what they mean what you see here the person that you think has got it better you don't have one piece of his puzzle hashem's got all tail pieces so you need the whole printout to see oh well maybe you look at this guy in shul and he looks so together and a girl looks at my husband's got a paunchy stomach and this guy looks like john travolta in flash dance and she's jealous of this guy's husband or he's jealous somebody's wife okay but they don't know the kids at home do you know that they got a special needs child at home oh you want to change places with them going to childhood on the autistic scale is way up the autistic scale you don't know what's going on behind closed doors you don't know people don't publicize in first stages from these when they're getting chemo or we don't know what's going on don't be jealous of anyone because hashem gives every neshama what they need and jealousy and amunah are exact opposites jealousy is an emotion that is one thousand percent evil inclination and even even when there's an expression cannot suffering that we it said as if jealous of someone i'm uh i'm jealous of rob bolliness he's a bigger tom in hohem than i am and i i'm jealous of of rav why by weinberger he's a bigger balmoosa than i am no and she said it jealous it's it's not jealous but as a role model that i would like to be the bob moosa that rabbi weinberger is i would like to be the talmud that rabbal and this is i would like to do uh the cure of what rabbi miroff does i would like to do i would like to be like that but hashem knows hashem thank you hashem that i'm laser that's it and this is a moon when you're happy with your own lot in life because the one thing now is the other side of the coin they can't do what i do but the chem gave me special aptitudes and talents that they don't have and that's why you have to love every single jew because somebody else has something that you don't have and you can learn from every single person that's as soon as we look for the good points another person then we love everyone so don't be jealous of anyone and be happy with yourself and how did you overcome jealousy learn a muna hashem created me for a reason that the jealousy talking about in our book path to your peak path you'll be had to fill your potential and how not to be jealous of anybody okay next question hold on hold on let me tell you honestly straight answer it's hard it's not easy the same way that you go and you have challenges this is part of the challenge you're having to go through the challenge sometimes you get up and you're happy for the other person and sometimes you want to kill them first it's okay this is what life is about life is about challenges yes i should get i should feel happy for the other person i should be a haro nakoha but that is not what life is one a harona koen was once in his in the world time so yes you have troubles it's okay you live with it ask a combination question so the question is everything is by sheridan we'll ask the first rabbi bella nestle answer and then we'll take it from rabbi brody we know everything is by sharing 40 days before the tierrata vlad is bot plony laploni and the question is if everyone's by shark so how are their divorces and everybody wants to know is it possible to miss you by shirt and but let's say you're in a you're in an actual situation you're dating someone and they're not holding where you're holding you're you're maybe a little more religious and they're a little more modern um but they say they're gonna change do you should they should you let should you kind of believe they're gonna change because you get along and it seems by shirt or do you go with you know kind of it's hard to change it maybe it's not a good idea so i want to ask her about him to expound on the idea of bashar and is it possible to miss you by shirt and how much push do you have to give and you stick to your guns guy came to me from a certain casitas and he had big pressure they said that the rabbi and the rabbis are pressuring him to marry a certain girl and there's this quality that he didn't like about the girl and let's call it a bad habit or something he didn't like it it turned him off and she knew it was a bad habit everybody knew his bad habit and the rabbi everyone tremendous pressure of the rabbi the shock and everybody she's going to change no she could say i want to change but this is what you get this is what you get i want a person to say they want to change and they'll try to change but you don't marry something going to change okay uh you know i'm going to be someday a player for the nba no lady's not going to play for the nba and you don't get married for a promise like that you get married for what you have what you see is what you get and that's it and all that i'm gonna promise marriage i'm gonna promise to be more from i just now had in don't want to say where but the exact same situation where a guy wanted a girl a girl very strong balastruva and the guy that recently thought he was show me shabbos but it turns out that uh he's still getting the car every once in a while shabbos that he can't be a little bit of a shomer shabbos either chamber shabbos or not you can't be a little bit of chaumer nagia come on dude we're just happy to get ahead no no no it's hands off shaman again means it's hands off okay you can't be a little bit of shelmer kosheros but then outside you know every once in a while stop it they know it's not like that it's not like that it's a commitment it's a commitment if a person is committed to committed christian says i want to do that but can't make a promise nobody can make a promise nobody could make a promise about tomorrow not even that we can say that's why we say every time we talk about the future we say one of two one or and two things okay i want to do something with hashem's help i have no control of the future nobody has a life insurance policy another minute okay and we can't make a promise because don't know if i'm going to keep it so i said lean there they're going to try but don't get married on the sake of a promise promises that it's a check with no checks that bounce and after horror stories that anything ever happened out of balance okay people that get married because they promised this and they promised that they promised that they're looking to get married and they go into promise and then they're disappointed no get married and this comes back to think look for the good heart look for the good heart you could take that right now you can understand the good heart how do you recognize the good heart okay when you go on a date and if you see the person right away talks about oh i do this and i do that and he says a lot of first person singular or she says a lot of first person singular the good heart girls you know how you do the good heart god wants to know all about you what makes you happy what makes you sad what do you enjoy doing what kind of husband are you looking for what this guy is all interested in me this is the guy with a good heart this guy that's giving he comes he does this he does that he does that everything has i me and it's egocentric and guys the same thing with the girl if her whole life is about her her clothes and her makeup and her money and this and that she might look like a miss america but a woman that doesn't have a good heart will be ugly promise you'll be ugly you won't be able to look at her maybe okay guys want they want the the the buddies to look at hey look what i look good looker she's got hey your buddies according to torah i have to be shown me and i am we talked about shamira they're not allowed to look at your wife stop saying guys look at my wife that's like hey guys come and have a ham sandwich and i thought the rabbit will correct me if i'm wrong it's easier to do chuva from a hand sandwich than this from ruining your eyes because ruin your eyes goes to do it directly to someone to a person hashem the guy says he's sorry he had some kind of craziness went to his head some it's called the vulmus some crazy urge but when someone looks at a woman does belong to this is it's terrible it's terrible and we see joseph at sadiq he was willing to jump off the third the the the palace in egypt and he didn't know whether he was going to break both legs when he ran out the window but not to touch this woman not to look at this woman that's insanity okay so we don't do get married in order for the guys to look at my wife you know show other people pictures of your wife and the same thing you and your wife it's intimate and proper talk in in israel language in in the hasidic here we don't even mention my wife i call her my home baiti na vad baiti which are very very uplifting and very clean and we don't say anything don't say anyone to give even a a heal who even that another man should ponder say something about my wife to another man she'd ponder her no and he doesn't tell me anything about his wife ponder that the most intimate thing he will say is his repetition won't go anywhere more than that and this is this is the way it's got to be done it's very uplifted very exalted because you're talking about the holiest thing in judaism finding your soulmate putting two souls together you know at a soul rabbisham is your side he says in the that the soul is a tiny spark of hashem you're taking two sparks of godliness of the essence we don't have no idea what hashem is but we know that the two nushomas are tiny parts of hashem sparks of hashem and putting them together what could be more uplifting exalted gevaldic than this okay so that yeah i will tell you something about the shirt losing yourself making yourself all these things are for hashem to know for us you have to know one thing you go out you have your rabbi and if they guide you and someone told you no no told you no now hashem has won the book for you i don't know whoever you end up with today in this world they're going to end up within shaman why there are divorces that's because of gil gulen that's nothing to do with us we live in this world meaning i if a rabbi is going to come tell me my zevok is some girl in middle of the street which doesn't talk my language doesn't is not on the same level as me and she ain't gonna change let's say she doesn't keep shabbos she doesn't keep tara and she doesn't keep kosher she just doesn't even know she's jews someone is going to tell me okay this is yours i'm going to listen her a nice day i think you're crazy i to we go out we don't care about bashert we don't care about anything if it matches and i remember it matches and i have certain feelings i get engaged that's what akadeshwar wants from me that's about it now this the names match the names don't match i'll tell you a story from my rabbis there was somebody you should go to and say excuse me oh your names don't match don't go out your names don't match don't get married so says i called up his wife one day i said you should get divorced from your husband and imagine the big rabbi calls the wife says listen says i should get divorced from you so the husband calls the rabbi says what do you mean why are you ruining my shalom by it what did i do to you says let me ask you a question says do you know in shemot do you understand says yes says check your name and your wife's name do you match he checks he says in shaman they don't match he says okay the same thing that you do to other people i did it to you stop doing it and i'll stop i'll tell your wife don't worry i made that tikkun you could go back your husband is a nice person so we don't get married based on names ambassadors we get name married and based on who we go out is in mat in sometimes divorces is because a person mistake sometimes it's godly i don't know we do not anesthetize whatever is hidden is up to us it's not up to us and i think with that we finished the q a i see already a lot of people are hungry and betrayed soon we're going to start the bonfire and we're going to leave the tana we're going to have music enjoy your night thank you very much all those that sat down and all those that were too hungry thank you very much shalom shalom thank you everybody we have the music right now we have the barbecue right here we're going to start the bonfire in a second the rabbi brodie's be selling his books and signing the books right over here and we shall find them in the back table over there thank you everyone for joining us