Why Your Kid’s Mood Isn’t About You!

Why do we take our kids' moods so personally? That's just human nature is we personalize everything. We make it about us. But here's the thing you need to realize as a parent that when you're taking it personally, meaning you're personally offended, you can't parent anymore. Because now the whole focus on your part becomes, well, this kid is basically insulting me by feeling this way or acting this way. And so your motivation becomes to correct them. Hey, you can't insult me this way. Hey, you're ungrateful. you're being disrespectful. Like we say in Jewish, that's insolent. In order to parent effectively, you need to forget about how the child's making you feel. It's not about your triggers. And you need to focus on what the child actually needs right now. a child who's behaving in a way that's making you feel embarrassed, frustrated, fearful, all these negative emotions, there's a bigger issue at hand, which is what can you as a parent do to help the child make better choices. If you're too busy dealing with how it's making you feel, you're not actually there to provide for this child in any meaningful way. So, what I recommend to parents is focus on what you need to do right now and later you can deal with how it made you feel. Whether that's by talking it over with your co-parent or with a therapist or a friend, but that's for later in the moment. Put your feelings aside and do what needs to be