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Why you’re still the same around family #healing #personalgrowth #relationshiptips

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SoulWords—Rabbi Shais Taub avatar
SoulWords—Rabbi Shais Taub

Transcript

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How to break the cycle without cutting off family. I've spoken about this before and it makes people very upset on both sides. I don't know why I keep talking about it when it just upsets people, but I'm going to tell you the truth. There are situations in which people do have to cut off because it's unsafe to continue any type of relationship. That does exist, but in many cases there is a healthy way of putting boundaries into place and having a relationship that is safe. And to the contrary, what does it mean that you're a cycle breaker? What does it mean that you're not perpetuating the pattern? Doesn't mean that you've simply removed yourself from these toxic people. It means that you are so thoroughly healed that even when you're around them, you are not going to fall back into your old patterns. Now, you could say, "Why would I want to be around such people?" Well, I don't know. Maybe not all of them are sick and you can only have access to some of them by being around all of them. Maybe you want to attend family functions. Maybe that's important to you. Maybe you want to be able to go back to your hometown. There are many reasons why you may need to be around family or want to be around family even though some or many of them are toxic. Or could even be that one person has aspects that are healthy and aspects that are unhealthy. And how do you get to interact with that person while letting in the parts that are healthy and normal and keeping out the parts that are unhealthy. So, basically what we're saying is this. When your healing is integrated deeply enough, you can be around the people who haven't changed without becoming the old version of yourself. And that's actually the deepest healing. When they want to engage you on a level that you're very familiar with because you've been there, done that and [clears throat] you're able to be deliberate. You're able to be conscious and to make a decision, "No, that's not how I'm going to respond. I have other choices today."