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Why women don't like NICE guys

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SoulWords—Rabbi Shais Taub avatar
SoulWords—Rabbi Shais Taub

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are women really attracted to jerks I know that that's a famous Trope and I will answer honestly there are some women who are extremely immature and are literally attracted to jerks they want to be mistreated but it's not true that as a general rule women want to be involved with somebody who mistreats them that's a ridiculous notion what I think is the source of the misunderstanding however is that very often women will opt for the lesser of two evils what I mean is this when you have to pick between the nice guy and the jerk sometimes if you're a woman the jerk is the more viable option than the nice guy now you're going to say I know this is terribly offensive especially to the self-identified nice guys like what's wrong with me I'm a nice guy here's what I want to explain a nice guy what's a nice guy somebody once told at me like this nice is an acronym neurotic insecure clingy emotional a nice guy is not actually nice a nice guy is using niceness as a bargaining chip in order to get what he wants so it's all with a price tag he's not really nice when you hurt his feelings or you rebuff him and you incur his wrath you'll see that he wasn't really altruistically interested in being kind he was using it manipulatively so that's exhausting for a woman to be involved with somebody who's using kindness as a way of trying to manipulate her behavior it's exhausting it's just easier deal with the jerk he's fairly upfront about his demands at least there's no game playing the truth is what does the woman really want the third option the good man and the good man is the one who's actually kind who can be kind for no other reason then that is the right thing to do he's not trying to get anything out of you as opposed to the nice guy who dealing with him is absolutely exhausting and depleting dealing with the good man just fills you up because he's not trying to take anything he's just a real giver and those are the healthiest romantic relationships where the man is a good man a real giver and the woman feels totally safe secure and fulfilled