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Why forgiveness isn't always the answer #healingjourney #truth #rabbi

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SoulWords—Rabbi Shais Taub avatar
SoulWords—Rabbi Shais Taub

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Can you heal without forgiving the person that hurt you? No, but when I say that, I don't mean that you have to restore the relationship. And in fact, in some cases, you would be absolutely irresponsible to attempt to mend the relationship because the other person simply isn't safe. They can't help themselves. They don't know how to behave normally. So, I'm not saying you have to reconcile the relationship, but here's what I am saying. Forgiveness means I've moved on. I'm no longer keeping tabs on the person who hurt me. I no longer have to spend my mental energy making sure that there is divine justice and that they get their comeuppance. Real healing for me means that I do not have to be my victimizer's parole officer. I'm quitting from that job. They are free to live their life. It's between them and their loving creator, and I wish God has mercy on them. I'm living my life. I'm not the parole officer.