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THIS Is Everything You Need to See When You Look at Your Child!

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SoulWords—Rabbi Shais Taub avatar
SoulWords—Rabbi Shais Taub

Transcript

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so when you look at your child even when you don't like their actions even when you have to correct their actions you still at the same time can retain a vision of who they remain in their deepest identity they are worthy they're unconditionally worthy they are intrinsically worthy they are infinitely worthy and therefore they are a source of Pride and I cannot emphasize enough how fundamental this is to all of parenting it sounds like a lofty concept it sounds very deep but I'm telling you the level to which a child is going to feel secure and feel safe the level to which they're going to feel that the world is an okay place to be the level to which they're going to feel okay with themselves and and and and feel like they can actually go out into the world and accomplish anything all of this stems from the feeling of being accepted and cherished and valued how in the world can we find it within ourselves to legitimately accept and cherish and value our children no matter what I'm telling you I don't know a secular model for this I only know a spiritual way to do this and that is to see the child for who they really are they are a soul and no matter what they do they retain that identity and therefore we're proud of them what does it mean we're proud of them let me spell it out in very downto Earth language I was giving this class to a group of men and one of the fathers was a RV I actually happened to know who he was he's a pois he's a balal he's very into uh into Jewish law so uh he was having a hard time with this idea of unconditional Pride he was like what does that what does that mean it's very lofty explain it I said let me be magder in terms of I said let me give you a a parameter within Jewish law that you could because I know the guy that's his his world so I said when you see your child is it a shil of whether or not so that's very okay let me spell that out there's a blessing you make if you haven't seen someone for a while for 30 days and then you see them and you're happy to see them is a blessing now there's other reasons why we actually don't make that blessing but he understood the point perfectly well when you see your child are you happy to see them you don't realize the gift that you give to your child when they feel that just by walking into the room you feel happy you don't realize the mental and emotional health that that gives to a child when they know that their very presence is cherished how are we going to Muster that how are we going to find that within ourselves I'm telling you we got to get spiritual we got got to get deep and we got to start thinking about them not just as these little people who run around in our house but as these Eternal infinite Godly beings who are taking a trip in this physical plane and they're happening to make their first uh few years of uh of of their visit in our in our homes now to internalize an idea like that I know that's not something you just you you say it to yourself and it changes but it's like the debba told the young father there bonness in them you have to meditate on it and that's why we have a meditation for class number two and what do you think the meditation for class number two is about of course you guessed it it's about this idea it's about internalizing the idea of the child's worth based on the fact of who they are not what they've done not what they have to prove themselves as but who they are and look in different cultures there are different expectations I was speaking a few nights ago in Columbus Ohio and uh it was not a religious audience in the conventional sense so you know in religious communities there's a lot of pressure on children that if they don't adhere to a certain level of observance that this diminishes The Pride that their their parents have in them that's obviously not an example that I would use for that crowd but uh the example I used with them is that uh so your kid doesn't get into the right college right they all know that they all related to that that example of the embarrassment my kid didn't get into you know we sent him to an expensive prep school and then you know he didn't get good SAT scores and he didn't get into the fancy school right I'm telling you a spiritual view of a child is that they don't have to do anything to be beloved and not only beloved to be to be cherished to have you light up when they walk in the room and to be proud wow wow look who's here amazing amazing this being whose worth is beyond my finite ability ability to even fathom this being just walked into the room hey this is rabish shab you were just watching a clip from my six week online parenting course which I offer about once or twice a year we're opening up enrollment right now for another cohort of that course if you want to get in on it there's information how to register in the description of this video below