The biggest parenting mistake you're likely making #parenting #advice #family

What the current generation gets wrong about parenting, it's an obvious pendulum swing. We went from one extreme to the other. Used to have parents who were it's my way or the highway. They used harshness in order to get the kids to do what they want. Then you went to the extreme of permissive parenting where there are no rules, no guidance, no safety. The children don't even know what's expected from them. So what people are getting wrong in this generation is to think that the opposite of harshness is permissiveness. And the reality is that those two extremes are really two sides of the same coin. Ironically, they're both founded on the same misunderstanding, which is that you can manipulate people into the behavior that you want. Harshness is I can scare you into getting the behavior that I want. Permissiveness is I can sweet-talk you and flatter you and bribe you into getting the behavior that I want. That's why they're both wrong cuz they're both essentially manipulative. The only way to get off that cycle is to realize there is no manipulation. You can't get anyone, even a child, to do what you want just cuz you want them to do it. What you can do is be so bonded with the child that the child feels it naturally safe in your presence and will then follow your lead. But that's much more demanding cuz you got to do two things. You got to actually be bonded with your child and you got to set an example. You got to actually give them a lead to follow.