The biggest mistake parents make with adult children #family #healing

Why do adult children sometimes pull away from good parents? We've spoken about this before where adult children pull away from parents because there was something fundamentally lacking in the relationship where the child did not feel safe around the parent. But sometimes it happens where really the parent didn't do anything wrong or they didn't do anything so wrong. There's really nothing for the parent to change or to fix. That does happen sometimes so we have to address that. Here's what I would advise to parents in that situation. As painful as this is, to just understand one thing. When for whatever reason, whether it's because they were influenced by a spouse or a friend or a therapist or someone else, if an adult child is feeling unsafe, the worst thing you can do is come running after them and trying to argue with them and prove to them that you are safe. So that does put you into a sort of double bind because how are you supposed to show that you're safe without creating more drama which would then reinforce the whole misconception about you that you're unsafe. And my answer to you is wherever I've seen parents successfully come back from this, it was always done with real self-control, gentleness, patience, and giving it a lot of time. Baby steps, baby steps. Less is more and I've seen people come back from it.