Text-Based Tanya Class—Week #49

it this is our weekly text-based Tanya class we've been going for over a year what chapter are we on now 30 that is correct okay we finished 29. now oh you're hoping it's happy well it's not well okay so I'll answer your question chapter 29 was a little bit harsh and it needed to be harsh because it was addressing an issue of apathy apathy is very dangerous and it taught us a tool of um breaking through the apathy through this sort of brutal process of introspection of making an inventory and cataloging all of our our misdeeds and I'm not going to get into it again because we spoke about it for a few weeks but the point of it was to break down the ego so that it would stop blocking on the the flow of of Godly Revelation um Chapter 30 is going to kind of build on chapter 29. um and it's also about getting the ego out of the way you know but it's also getting these out of the way for the purposes of of of emotional well-being because if you remember I told you since chapter 26 who've been focusing on emotional well-being since chapter 26 we've been talking about how to defeat various types of emotional dysfunction so just to review chapters one through eight we learned the whole until I'm talking about the whole Tanya let's review chapters one through a we learned about the anatomy of the soul the the two Souls the ten faculties the three garments if any of this sounds unfamiliar go back and watch the old recordings um chapters 9 through I'd say 15 we introduced how that war between the two Souls looks and what it what happens in the three Persona of Sadiq Russia vainani uh and we we said we're gonna try to do the the baitany path chapter 16-17 we said we're going to achieve the banani state of Behavioral Mastery through um well initially we said we're going to try to achieve it just through impulse control in chapter 16 through 17 we said we're going to actually try to slowly change our emotions through meditation 18 through 25 we said we have a quick uh button to push that will change our emotions through arousing our innate spiritual impulses that are hardwired into the nashama and that was basically 1-25 and between all of that you have you have a program for achieving the state of Maine which again is behavioral Mastery where even though you won't be a hundred percent perfect internally meaning internally you may feel some uh urges that are uh counterproductive but but behaviorally you'll be able to do the right thing so that was our program one through 25 comes 26 and says oh by the way in order to implement this program or any program you have to be happy because if you're not happy you're not going to be able to you cannot be able to do anything a person who's not happy is not going to be able to perform well including implementing this whole beautiful program that we were taught in chapters 1 through 25. so that's basically in chapter 26 we've started dealing with different sources of emotional uh dysfunction and how to troubleshoot each one of them some of them are like predictable regular forms of emotional problems like feeling stressed out because I have stuff going on in my life you know that's a predictable thing we all know about that other other sources of emotional problems are a little bit more surprising like he tells you religious guilt you know you maybe you would think that that's very holy to be to be feel guilty about your sins he's saying no actually it could cause you a lot of problems because it'll make you sad and then it'll like we said if you're not happy you can't do anything well including serving Hashem so he gives you advice how to deal with that and then finally we got up to chapter 29 we're like okay we have another emotional issue that you have to really be on guard and look out for it which is apathy where you're feeling numbness you can't get inspired it's not sadness it's sort of nothing um and so we gave the advice for that we said it's the the pathology of it is is due to the complacency of the ego so the the the therapy for it is to smash the ego okay that's where we left off if you've been with us this should all sound familiar does it okay so Chapter 30 starts with the word eides ice furthermore furthermore means he's building it's building OJ's furthermore you also meliba you should Place upon his heart meaning he should think about the following so he's giving you something to consider Lake you should follow the advice of the sages be humble or lowly of spirit before all people foreign and when it says you should be it means you should really be not act but be doesn't say conduct yourself as if you were humbled before all people it says you should really be humbled before all people okay hold on a second some people I look up to and I'm humbled by them but a lot of people I'm not humble in front of them I think I think I'm better than them so he's going to help us here if they call her other mamash I feel about column should be humble before everyone literally everyone even the Khal Shiba column you know what calm and cow means light kalasha bakala means the light of the light the lightweight the spiritual lightweights you know what spiritual lightweights are no they're not simple maybe they're maybe they're sophisticated cow means that they're totally Cavalier about their spirituality they cannot be troubled to do anything that requires any amount of effort they're just uh totally chilled they do whatever they want no not like apathy that uh that was that was our problem in the previous chapter was apathy superficial uh yeah like shallow people they don't they don't care they just decided they decided it's like a it's a lifestyle yeah it's not a dysfunction it's a lifestyle the College of a column okay but we we're going to be humble in front of everyone including the College of a column thank you all right um we're gonna do that by following another piece of advice from the sages which is don't don't judge your fellow till you've reached his place don't judge someone until you've walked a mile in his shoes because then you're a mile away from him because then when you judge him you're a mile away from him and you have his shoes let me say it again don't judge someone until you've walked a mile in his shoes because then when you judge him you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes that's not really what it means that was a joke yeah that's actually from from Jack Handy that is not a real teaching okay no don't judge anyone until you've been in this place what does it mean it's place his place causes him to sin place here doesn't literally mean physical location place means his situation you don't know his story you don't know everything that led up to where he's at people don't just emerge spontaneously out of nowhere and start behaving some way it's all there's a whole this whole background you don't know what happened to this guy you don't know what he's been through you don't know all of the different factors the Confluence of factors that have come together to create this person's current situation so uh we're trying to be compassionate tolerant liberal and not uh not assuming anything about the guy in fact assume the opposite assume that he has very compelling reasons be a defense attorney he has mitigating circumstances why he does this we're not saying he didn't do it we're just saying our mitigating circumstances for instance his parnosa is that he he goes in the marketplace all day I suppose in 2022 instead of he's walking in the marketplace all day maybe it means because of his job he has to be online all day maybe that's even worse than the the shook foreign he's one of the people who hangs out on the corner vain of Reyes Kola tyvis his eyes see all of the Temptations we know how it works how we're wired the the eye sees and the heart desires I see is the heart desires just an automatic thing for and his heart whereas his inclination is burning like a furnace commissioner like it says in the prophet Isaiah he's burning like a furnace like a flaming fire machine in contrast you have a person who barely ever goes out into the marketplace he gets to sit at home most of the day and even if you'll say well hold on no I also have to work I also walk in the in the marketplace I'm not like this calcium okay maybe you're not as heated up Naturally Speaking In other words there's nature and nurture there's environment there's genetics so you know maybe the environment is the same you're both in the same situation you're both walking in the marketplace all day but there is such a thing as different people were given different natures and you have to acknowledge maybe you're more maybe your behaviors are more religious because your personality is to begin with more refined so it's less of a massive battle to to Reign yourself in to behave according to religious standards maybe maybe you don't have this intense uh uh inclination like this guy because not everyone has the same not everyone has the same evil inclination he doesn't finish the sentences Etc someone has a an inclination like this and somebody has an inclination like that commission is like it's explained elsewhere okay you see what's going on right now you understand what's happening we are really trying to absorb the idea of humility not as a virtue but as as a logical imperative because you could you could Embrace humility as a as a good thing you'd say you know what it is the proper way to be to don't be haughty don't be arrogant um act humble even when you're encountering somebody who is very unimpressive and maybe even to the contrary they're much more than unimpressive there there's a lot wrong with them but still it's a good thing it's a virtue to act humble in front of them we're saying no that's not that's not what khazal said it's not what I said just said just said actually feel humble actually feel like less than them now we're not trying to put you down I'm not trying to make you feel bad again this is similar to what we're talking about in the previous chapter this is about leveling the ego leveling The Pride okay so he's explaining to you and by the way this is what Chabad is intellect so everything is based on logic it's spiritual principles but they're explained logically so he could have just said to you if you don't want to use logic you could just say the sages say to be humble before everyone and we would just Embrace that as an axiom and we would just go try to apply it and if we couldn't feel it at least we would act that way but he's saying more than that no I could logically explain to you why you should feel humble even in front of somebody who is clearly not doing very well in in their spiritual moral religious life so he started to explain first of all be the defense attorney mitigating circumstances mitigating factors maybe it's his environment so that's one argument and then even if you'll come and tell me well how is it his environment I also work in the marketplace I have the same environment okay maybe it's his nature maybe you weren't given the same intensity of struggle you follow what's happening here okay so we're trying to really convince ourselves to be humble in front of everyone and again I want to explain to you it's not that we're saying see context is everything and I I harp on this a lot but I just feel like it's so important please always remember why we're learning any piece of information the context is everything like let me ask you a trick question is the outlet ever teaching us how to be humble because it'll improve our relationships with people no very good okay because it probably will but that's not the point here like if you're humble and you can be flexible and and and gracious in front of other people even people who you don't find any redeeming qualities in that's probably going to help you to get along with people as well but then that's not the point here what's the point here what's the real point okay by the way that you're always safe with that answer anytime because it's yeah you're right that's what the whole book is about how okay but get a little more specific so you said how to serve Hashem a way to serve Hashem okay but more specific yes with joy okay so what does this have to do with joy what does this have to do what is being a defense attorney for some sinner in my mind at least have to do with my my joy and what does Joy have to do with serving a chef I just want to make sure we're following the logic otherwise what happens is people pick up little bits and pieces and they get the completely wrong picture about what the chapter was teaching like they remember what it said but not why it said it which to me is more important so can we make sure we but before we continue can we make sure we're all understanding yeah very humble contradictions and having high self-esteem or is that it's being very humble contradiction having high self-esteem now but why are we learning this please help me to understand what this is all about select okay I want to be a beanie yeah that's true about everything in town you I want to serve Hashem that's true with everything I've done yet okay this is a technique okay so specifically right now yeah I think it Blocks Your Heart if you're in judgment okay say that again that's good it Blocks Your Heart if you're in judgment I like that I never heard those exact words put together in a sentence but I agree with it we're removing blockage here just like in the previous chapter okay so chapter 29 the ego is the problem of removing it okay judgment is a form of ego blockage and like I said it'll probably help us to relate to people better if we're more humble but that's not the point right now the point is that our judgment our feeling of superiority is a is a blockage it's a it's a it's a it's a affectation of the ego that is is blocking the flow of godliness that would otherwise just naturally be there so we have to remove it that's why we're doing it okay that's why we're doing it it probably it definitely has other positive uh effects when we remove it but the reason we're moving it now is because um of the ego we're removing the ego yes yes okay so which is continuing the theme from chapter 29 removing the ego okay and he could just tell you it's axiomatic you just yeah the sages say to be humble okay fine I don't understand but I'll do it but that's not what he's saying he's saying I will take you through an explanation of how a thought process that you can actually conduct where you can really reach sincere humility before everyone okay so let's continue now um now he says don't get confused but he backtracks so that nobody gets confused he actually does something that we could potentially confuse you but that's why I'm guiding you don't get confused he's this is you know the famous but on the other hand okay so this little part is but on the other hand all right um the truth is meaning the real objective truth is even someone who's who's very uh has a intense evil inclination from just the way his nature is and he has to hang out in the marketplace all day meaning he has the the the inborn strike against him and the situational strike against him really objectively speaking he has no excuse regarding his sins and in fact objectively speaking yes he will be categorized as a complete Wicked person because he's supposed to have enough fear of God to restrain himself okay really he is supposed to control himself and to resist his his Temptations of his heart because he should think about the fear of God who's supervising him and watching him commission is like we explained earlier in Tanya that the brain rules the heart why doesn't he do that he's supposed to do brain rules the heart so you want to the objective truth is we're not telling you that this guy is doing something okay it's not okay he really was supposed to control himself even though he has he's coming into the to a difficult situation and his nature it has a stronger presents stronger challenges he's supposed to overcome that you understand there's two things here there's there's the objective truth but then there's our subjective judgment about it and they can be two opposite things so out that I was just reminding you I'm not telling you that what he's doing is okay it's not okay I'm just telling you you shouldn't be feeling Superior over him just because he's not currently doing what he's supposed to be doing even though there is an objective Criterion of what he's supposed to be doing it's not a contradiction you understand we don't have to throw out standards to be compassionate me yeah if I have listeners to judge him it's not our business to judge him right and if you're but at the same time if you're asking for clarity and you want to know oh so basically anybody who has a hard life is allowed to sin my answer is thou says clearly no I didn't say that to you I didn't say that it exempts him from doing what he's doing I'm telling you your emotional reaction to it should be compassionate and because Hashem gives us the gift of great choice every single one of us no matter how hard our circumstances are correct that's what he's saying I mean doesn't use the word free choice but he says that he's supposed to control himself he's supposed to use his brain to rule over his heart okay okay now he flips back now he flips back now he says hold now let me go back into defense attorney mode the defense attorney is not arguing that the law is not the law for that you got to go to the Supreme Court the defense attorney is admitting the law is the law he may even admit my client broke the law but I'm explaining to you the circumstances that should for practical purposes either we should be lenient in our sentencing or maybe acquit him altogether you understand the difference well we're doing the acquitting Because the acquitting here doesn't mean his actual sentence which we never had any power over in the in the to begin with but it means we're acquitting him from our the in our personal mental courtroom where we suspend Ed we're suspending judgment and not only suspending judgment he wants us to go even further we're humbling ourselves before him we're saying wow this guy I really admire him you admire him the guy the guy's a cow should be call him and you admire him yes I do and he's going to explain to us he's going to explain okay vihine now we're flipping back should know that to control yourself even though you're supposed to control yourself for some people can be he says like an Italian momish that means like uh like a life and death dilemma it could really feel that intense images therefore the upshot of this is everyone who's serving Hashem that means everyone in this room because he's coming in the middle of the day to study a book about how to serve Hashem So it's talking about you all the people who are into serving Hashem should think about this do you wage as intense of a battle as this guy it's a very interesting question you can look at performance or you could look at effort so this guy this theoretical calcium column and the level of performance he gets an F he flunks because he's doing sins but on a level of effort like the amount of struggle that goes into not being even worse than he already is or even the amount of struggle that goes into just delaying doing the things that he does I mean in the end even he gives in and he does the wrong thing but what he had to what what he had to struggle with up until the breaking point and he broke and he shouldn't break and objectively speaking he's not allowed to break and he's going to be judged for but by God but that's not my that's not that's that's that's not my concern to the contrary my concern is to say wow this guy you can call them a scumbag you can call them a low life and you can prove it by pointing to the terrible things he does but that's not going to help me spiritually to to seize those facts and to focus on those facts what's going to be more helpful to me is to think about this this guy you can dismiss him and say he's an awful person but as far as what's helpful to me in my spiritual growth is to realize this guy struggles he and he has real struggles and he struggles with stuff that doesn't even bother me he has Temptations I don't even relate to thank God I don't have those Temptations and I have to ask myself do I go through do I go through that degree of struggle in other words I know we all have difficult lives I know I I want to make it clear I'm compassionate and sympathetic about the fact we all have difficult lives I'm not talking about right now whether you have a difficult life because we all do I'm talking about how much self-imposed strain do you willfully bring upon yourself in pursuing spiritual greatness in other words there are people who go to the gym and people don't go to the gym and then even the people go to the gym and they push themselves and they get a trainer and they really work hard and the people who go to the gym and they drink water okay which is at least I guess you get scar halika but I'm saying I'm saying like this you have to think to yourself like this don't look at the end result of this guy the end results on this guy are really poor because he's doing terrible things but look at instead look at the degree of struggle look at the degree of struggle like for this guy I know the end results are he's a low life I get it but the degree of struggle that it takes him to be that low life I don't know do I struggle hold on a second do I struggle that much it's it's a real question it's a real question like I'm telling you compared to going to the gym are you stretching are you are you straining in your spiritual growth and again I want to clarify I know because everyone's going to exempt themselves by saying well I have challenges and I'm going through stress and I'm going through strength yeah because God put that on you I'm talking about where you chose to put extra weight on the bar I'm talking about where you chose to do you know an extra rep I'm talking about where you chose to to to to to run an extra mile spiritual obviously as a metaphor okay so the truth is a lot of us I'm not bashing us here but I'm saying a lot of us are are coasting and and we're doing what we do because it's not that hard for us now I want to give everyone credit you take time you come to a class like this it obviously it doesn't happen on its own you do have to put forth effort and If This Were a different discussion please remember context in another context I would probably tell you guys you're the biggest heroes in the world for coming to a class but that's not the context right now the context is we're removing the ego blockage and we're humbling ourselves so in the context of removing ego blockage and humbling ourselves here's what I want to tell you you like coming to stuff like this this is normal for you like you're not you're not breaking yourself to be here you you like serving Hashem you like doing Mitzvahs you like being spiritual or at least if you don't like it you don't hate it that much it's not terrible terrible struggle to you so think to yourself or I can speak to myself it makes it less uh scary um am I struggling as much as the person who objectively is clearly we're not denying he's on a lower spiritual level than me I can tell you what on a performance level I'm a much more religious and moral person than that guy no question but that's not the point who's working harder he's working harder and I'm coasting so in that case I should feel genuine humility before him genuine humility yeah I said I said earlier how I said I remember what I said if he's doing bad things how is he working harder than you yeah yeah well I said earlier should I say more explicitly I said the amount of struggle that goes into it before he gives it and does the wrong thing okay so imagine you have two kids in a class this is not a difficult concept imagine you have two kids in the class and one of them doesn't pay attention in class and gets all A's because he's a genius and the other one has dyslexia can't even read and he gets C's and D's on his tests but his parents know for him to do it it's an incredible focus and drive and so they celebrate that right everyone understands the idea I think somebody does harm to themselves that's one thing yeah we're talking about bad people here we're talking about yep yep evil bad people hurt others yes we are yes we are yes have compassion with it yes yes no we're not talking about that right now it happens to be true yeah but I don't talk about that right now you know why because it's no because um it takes the edge off of the teaching so it's true yeah it's it's true that there's still accountability and uh but I won't talk about it because it's it's taking the edge off of this is a very powerful look I don't want to say for you I don't want to I don't want to lower the potency of this teaching the potency of this teaching if the altadaba felt that it needed to be discussed in this context you want to know out of context does it does chapter 30 mean that we are going to uh turn a blind eye when there's evil people hurting others no obviously not come on that's not even implied but I don't want to talk about that now because what that does to talk about that it it sort of it it deflates the whole power here the power here is a radical concept like I'm looking at somebody who not only is not admirable but to the contrary evil worthy of contempt and I'm saying you know what for for this context of this technique the only thing I want to concern myself with is the fact that maybe just maybe this guy who's a pathetic excuse for a human being struggles more morally than I do that's the only thing that's important for me right now yeah even focusing on struggles yeah aren't we absolving no no no we're not but no and I'll tell you why no but but but I'm not going to stop you I'm going to say like this 200 years ago took pains to write an extra few lines of Tanya to to preempt what you just said we just read it no I'm not going to accept it because we just read that the ultimate took and it's not listen to me y'all never broke the flow of the chapter which I'm sure was uncomfortable for him and he said something that's actually difficult to read because it flips the it flips the flow and he inserted this thing and in his I'll read it to you again I'll read it to you quickly and he says uh the words but the truth is listening because I said this already I said it already you know you could listen to the recording I'll prove it to you um the truth is the truth the truth the truth the truth is the objective truth is even somebody who has a wild hot yet and he has the he's he's subjected to walking in the in the marketplace all day I mean he has both strikes no no you listen to me ain't like schum has not listen to the words has no you're not listening to the words I promise you I am well you don't you understand to be in the marketplace do you know what the what is what do those words mean what are those words mean what ain't lifeless what do those words mean in English not one person can translate those words had no excuse for his sins and I read it before roll back the tape and it's called the complete Russia completely Wicked person because he does not allow the fear of God to affect him he said it very clearly because he should have resisted and he should have ruled over the Temptations He should have feared God who watches all of his deeds like we explained before the heart rules the the Mind rules over the heart why didn't he cash in on that why didn't he use the the innate superiority of the Mind Over the heart he should have and he will be accountable for the fact that he didn't so what I'm saying is I'm shutting this down don't come to me I I you guys got to stop doing this every time you're getting emotionally triggered by anything that the out that I was saying you're not gonna that's not how you're gonna learn Tanya yes there's justice of course there's Justice yes there's accountability yes there's Free Will and the outcome even broke the flow to remind you that he's not erasing that concept but it's not germane right now and it's not helpful not only is it not Germany it's not helpful it's not helpful your righteous indignation is an impediment to your spiritual growth I want to repeat that sentence twice more your righteous indignation is an impediment to your spiritual growth and I'm saying one more time your righteous indignation is an impediment to your spiritual growth I just I don't understand what that means maybe he is maybe yeah maybe it's the worst of the worst Russia maybe yeah yeah no never met one of those before the women we think with our feelings I don't understand why this is challenging wait what do you want to see back there is basic for it but I was talking about um what helps me to think so before this murashama came into the world this beautiful amazingly shama Hashem called out let's say he's like this struggle this act whatever needs to be in the world listen to some of the volunteers get this struggle and the amazing this time of like I'll take the hit I'll do it and go down to the world and and then it totally flips the script and you're like wow yes it's wrong but what a struggle it's a nice idea yeah and by the way he's not saying that here he's not even saying that here what that's a mystical explanation which is beautiful but here he's saying a much more logical explanation the explanation it's interesting by the way what you're saying is a mystical explanation surely knows mysticism he's not invoking a mystical explanation he's invoking a psychological explanation he's invoking an explanation that even a secular point of view could Embrace I mean it doesn't require any particular faith it's a very logical statement about human behavior I'll say it won't yeah we know that there's this person who is outside of us yeah what is the are you talking about life in general are you talking about chapter 30 of Tanya in Chapter 30 of times no I'm not going to do both I can't do both I can't I cannot Chapter 30 of Tanya Chapter 30 of Tanya is hey you are trying to be abandoning me you're trying to serve Hashem better okay great I have a new technique for you and that is you probably didn't realize it but your judgment of other people is not serving your spiritual growth so what I want you to do is to Humble because I'll already said be humble before all people so you got to do it because the sage is already said to do it but the author of it says I want to explain to you not only um that it's literal but I want to explain to you how to do it because otherwise how do you explain what the sages mean be humble before everyone but there are plenty of people who are not worthy of me being humble before them so he explains it to us logically don't look at the results look at the the effort and he says start looking at yourself and questioning how much effort you're putting into serving Hashem that's what he's saying that's all we all we want to come away with here is a sense that I cannot continue to con to be content with the fact that let's say I'm already at the level of vanity let's say the guy reading this abandon me and he's like Pain any means I do everything that shocks as a Jew is supposed to do I don't do anything says the Jew is not supposed to do I'm great I'm gold you know and if I'm at that level in fact everyone's below me except for the sadikim you know how many of them exist so like everyone's below me how am I supposed to be humble before all these people so he says stop a second don't look at the results don't look at what you're producing your performance look at the effort that went into that look at the effort that went into that and so each one of us on our level has to examine that how much effort went into it I know that it's very attractive the the condemnation the righteous indignation the the righteous anger I know it's very attractive but it's a huge blockage to spiritual growth and right now that's all we're concerned with we're concerned with what is going to help me to grow spiritually and this is the opposite of something that will help us grow spiritually sorry yeah yeah instead of it being well it's kind of Judge favorably it's kind of Judge favorably I don't could I say a really crass analogy it's my my um so I remember last time I went to London they had the para Olympics and the Olympics okay Paralympics for disabled people so imagine if you would go to that and be like it's not impressive those guys numbers are not like the real Olympics a guy's running 100 meter with one leg and you're not impressed like you have to adjust your it's not about how what the time was what he ran 100 meter it's about what went into that does that okay fine okay I'm going to London what's the Shabbos by the way thank you okay now watch what he says oh so there's no place no I'll be back no I'm coming back for class I'm going to London yeah I should be back let me check the flight times but I believe that I made it that I could come back in time for class on next week I'll find out okay okay so he should check himself is he really working that hard with that type of struggle that level of of of causing a messian overcoming a test in his doing good like davening with intentions admits we are now fish to pour forth his soul in davening until the ringing out of the Soul that's a question you ask yourself how how much do you struggle when you diving do you break a sweat when you're diving when you finish diving do you do you have to sit down because you're exhausted okay just a question just for self-reference do you fight with your body and your animal Soul which are preventing you to have intent during the evening you wage an intense battleships you go and subjugate the body and the ego before you Daven three times a day before chakras every day yeah gayats may be against Snapfish if you guess Buster Commissioners boiler come on and then when you're diving you to put forth we call you gear Snapfish and your gears Buster do you strain with your emotional energy and you strain physically it should also be physically straining the culture cane I mean the cultural I'm sorry the culture and anyone who hasn't reached that level to wage that intense battle I died you haven't reached the level of intense struggle of the guy who has a furnace like yet Sahara what he would have to do in order to subjugate himself before Hashem in other words you ask you're looking at this guy who is a low life fine no problem I'll give you that so he has some real struggles thank God struggles we can't even relate to so for him to not do another Aveda today is incredibly difficult test so we're just asking ourselves when we Daven for for instance he uses that as an example are we breaking a sweat that's all he's saying okay you want some more thoughts how about benching how about when you you make a after a meal when you bench but kobia then what about all the Brokers you make and what about in general having intent when you do Mitzvahs and what about when you do a Mitzvah make sure you're doing it for its own sake with a title so when you're learning you push yourself to learn way more than what you want to and way more than is your habit do you and you push yourself by waging an intense war with your body because we only learn a little bit more than what you would normally learn that's only a small War Veil so you're still not coming close to the intense struggle that the quote-unquote low life has why are we comparing ourselves to the low life I'm going to throw it back on you because I feel like I'm working hard here for the past I don't know 50 minutes I don't think I did a bad job explaining it I'm going to ask you why are we comparing yourself to the low life why It's upsetting everyone not everyone It's upsetting half the people here but that's fine let's keep I mean if if that's what's happening I I guess it's important why are we comparing yourself to the low life that's the technique well that's the that's true that is the technique and why is this an important technique to Humble ourselves to get closer to Hashem to show ourselves we're not so great and therefore we need to start working harder right now I want to get to like a good stopping place so let's let's keep moving here so he says okay what about your what about your benching what about all the different blessings you make and do you have cavana you when you make a shahako do you think about every single word no okay so then I don't know this this guy this this crook who had to hold himself back from ripping off one more person today all right so he had a a dilemma did you have a dilemma when you made the shahakal he just whipped right through it you didn't think about the the words yeah you're just coasting you're coasting all right um yeah so if you only learn a little bit more than you like to learn that's a small War so that's yeah not comparable to the guy who's got this really intense this guy who we're talking about was called a completely Wicked person when he loses his Stakes are much bigger than your steaks when he loses he's called the Russia Gomer when you lose okay so I I said abroad I just didn't have so much cavana Umali and listen to this argument I love this it's so disarming um what's the difference if it's turn away from evil or it's do good you know the summit they're all Commandments of the king the unique and singular King The Blessed may he be blessed I love that country if you hear what he just said you're going to say to you you're going to say to yourself hold on a sec whoa whoa I don't you can't trick me because my struggle is in is not about I'm trying to hold myself back from doing bad things my struggle is when I do good things I should push myself to do it better and this guy his struggle is actually doing bad things so how you can compare us see Alton ever says yeah well for the purposes of this context we can because we're talking about how much effort are you willing to put forth for God so what does it matter in this guy's context the effort he puts forth for God is he holds himself back from doing a thousand sins a day he only does 999 cents but your form of putting forth effort for God is that not you're holding back from doing a bad thing is you're pushing yourself to do a good thing and what difference does it make if it's pushing yourself to do a good thing or pushing yourself to not do a bad thing either way it's called pushing yourself and they're both whether it's do good or don't do bad they're all Commandments of the king so the question is when it comes to Commandments of the king when it comes to When God says what he wants God States a preference this is what I like is what I don't like how much are you able to trouble yourself for what God wants oh now all of a sudden I start realizing I'm not troubling myself for what God wants I'm doing a lot of what God wants listen to this very carefully I may be doing a lot of things I'm a religious Jew I do tons of stuff that God wants me to do all day long yes I know and that's beautiful and in other chapters in other contexts we would celebrate that we would make a parade for you okay but that's not the point in this chapter in this chapter we're saying you're doing all you're a religious Jew you're doing all these things that God wants you to do beautiful beautiful but you want to know something what's your degree of struggle how hard is that for you and I know and I said it before and I'll say it again I know we all have hard lives but I'm not talking about the difficulties that God put on us I'm talking about how much we're willing to push ourselves to literally walk into the gym and tell the trainer I want you to make me beg you to to stop I want you to push me to the breaking point today I mean I'm trusting you you're not going to actually kill me I want you to actually push me to the breaking point do we volunteer for that I don't know so he's asking yourself he's asking you to ask yourself if you are engaged in that level of of intensity right because the whole purpose here is introspection that's the whole point the whole point is I'm removing the blockage I'm removing the blockage yeah yeah yeah okay uh okay so does everyone understand the point of this method I understand it's interesting by the way I think this chapter may actually be less popular than the last chapter it's up for coin toss which one yeah so you don't like either of them and that's that's acceptable that's acceptable because you stating your opinion and I can't argue with your opinion and I will say something I don't agree with your opinion but I will tell you something and from my point of views relating to it um I don't I don't say I like or dislike any chapter of Tanya but but I would say 29 30 and 31 oh yeah maybe you want to not come around for like another month it's all yeah it's 29 30 and 31 all three of those chapters it's reverse psychology are we done with 30 no we're in the middle 30. no I just found a stop input we're not we're not we're not done with 30 because he's going to keep going he's going to keep pushing it because so far all he told you was do you do you break a sweat when you dive in do you break a sweat when you when you say beer because I'm not saying but he's got more stuff oh he's going to push he's going to keep pushing okay he doesn't want us to Coast so 29 30 and 31 are all intense and and demanding very very demanding chapters okay