Text-Based Tanya Class—Week #39

the rough month you know it's been a challenge yeah it's been rigorous uh it's been more than a month in a couple months we were there was a string of chapters that really runs from 18 through 25 and it's a difficult concept and i'm not going to repeat the whole flow you could re-watch the classes online if you want to get a review but what's today about you know what today's about joy joy thank you joy simcha so why are we talking about simcha before we start talking about simcha is joy not happiness but joy big difference happiness happens it's passive joy is something you create happiness means it happens it's happenstance if it doesn't it's a mishap it's a very victim type mentality joy is a proactive decision we're going to talk about but for context purposes why are we speaking about joy now why is that the subject now so just a little review of the first 25 chapters of tanya a little review not intense just a little review in chapter one we spoke about the fact that we have two souls one just want self-preservation by any means necessary and the other is altruistic that we really learned about in chapter two the altruistic soul the selfless soul godly soul and we learned about the fact that they each have their own cognitive and emotional faculties meaning their perspectives on life and the way they feel about what they believe they've perceived and that they both express those perceptions and emotions through three behavioral um modes of expression called thought speech and action and that essentially within each of us there are these two souls vying for who's going to gain self-expression at any given moment and that's the whole conflict of tanya that's basic basic basic timing we introduced one method for handling that conflict managing that conflict in chapter 12 we said well you know what the banini does the intermediate guy he has the inner war of the russia but he exhibits behaviors as if he were a tsadic his tool the first tool we learned about is impulse control your brain controls controls your heart so you don't don't give in to every whim that you have you just control yourself great beautiful wonderful tool then in chapter testing your design 16-17 we learned about a new way of explaining that may charlotte lla the brain rules over the heart which means that if you meditate use your brain you'll create emotions in your heart brain rules over the heart earlier had meant you bypass your emotions and do things that you don't want to do because they're the right thing to do then later on 16 and 17 we learn about using the brain to not bypass your emotions but to create new emotions to get yourself congruent emotionally congruent with the behaviors that you're committed to anyway that you're following these tools okay and then after that we said well what about if the tool for creating emotional congruence is taking too long which we know that meditation is a lengthy process a lifelong pursuit and endeavor uh so we said okay no problem we have a short emergency way of doing it 18 through 25 and i'm not going to review what 18-25 was but the bottom line the upshot of 18-25 was a quick way to get emotionally congruent to get a suddenly a sudden emotional jolt to have the motivation to do the things that we're supposed to be doing okay so basically in the first 25 chapters of tanya we've been presented with a pretty comprehensive system of spiritual tools for managing the inner conflict we have the first type of my chalto lay which is control yourself impulse control we have the second type of challenge which is meditate and create new emotions to get yourself emotionally congruent with the behaviors you got to do and we have the in case of emergency brake glass the backup system which is how to suddenly push that button that super jew uh spiritual adrenaline rush that we learned about we just finished learning about in the past eight chapters okay so there you have a comprehensive system for serving a chef and it's pretty complete so then what else do we need remember tanya dalton says is to simulate the experience of coming to him asking for guidance so if you imagine yourself with each new chapter re-entering the altarebes room and asking him again for more guidance you have to ask yourself what am i bothering him for again this time why did i i just left now i'm coming back in why am i coming back in what's the tension that's driving this need for this next meeting so the next issue is not that i need another tool in my spiritual toolkit the next issue is really the the human issue that being that we experience uh emotions we have moods even if the al-tarab has given us a perfect system if we lack the will or the desire to apply that system because for whatever reason we're emotionally demotivated then it's to no avail so even if the system we've been presented with in the first 25 chapters is a wonderful system if i'm feeling bad and therefore i'm lacking motivation i'm not going to be able to execute and carry out that system that was presented to me and that's basically where we're at now in chapter 26 he deals with emotional well-being because if you're not feeling good you're not going to do anything well you cannot execute any task well when you're not feeling good and that includes the system that was presented to us in the first 25 chapters of tanya you follow what i'm saying okay to help you to really cement the idea i'm going to start reading and i'm going to present you with the metaphor that the alt-rabbi uses at the beginning of chapter 26. perakova brahm kegan dots one must however know however means um i'm going to switch things up on you a second here notwithstanding this wonderful system we were just presented with in the first 25 chapters there's something you still need to know and it's a big rule he calls it a cloud goggle a big rule just like in a material in a physical battle or confrontation like two men who are wrestling with each other one is trying to throw the other so the metaphor is what why wrestling yeah yeah well i don't think they're fighting i don't think it's athletic it's competition yeah it's not like a street fight it's it's it's athleticism they're wrestling well yeah what it's just a metaphor no no it's a different question okay does the time alter rebbe presuppose or is it a given that every individual is capable of having emotional well-being yeah yeah so just like no never i mean so before we're even starting the chapter everybody wants to put in a giant asterisk and say who this doesn't apply to until until it applies to nobody okay right we're just studying for academic purposes all right no problem it's just anthropology hasidic anthropology doesn't apply to anyone certainly nobody here okay no problem take it however you want hine now listen to me if one of them is lazy or heavy and he will be thrown even if he's stronger than his competitor so you have two guys wrestling one of them is stronger one of them is weaker but the weaker guy is feeling good and the stronger guy is feeling blah and what happens the stronger guy gets thrown by the weaker guy because of the emotional advantage the emotional edge the guy who's feeling good ends up defeating a stronger opponent because the other guy is feeling bad kokomomish is just a metaphor so too literally been such a yetzer when we want to defeat our evil inclination it is impossible to defeat him if we're feeling sluggish and heavy emotionally heavy tim tamalevka evan emotions that come from depression and a congested plug plugged up heart that's plugged like a stone what does it mean a heart that's plugged up like a stone he'll explain by in the next very very next line but rather biz resource alacrity that comes from joy and an open heart so the opposite of timtum haleevka evan a heart that's plugged up like a stone would be sikha salef an open heart that means where the emotions are flowing there's a good energy flow in the heart and it should be completely his heart should be completely free of any trace any trace of worry or sadness at all in the world so here's the premise even if you have what it takes to beat your evil inclination and you do if you are not emotionally feeling good if you're not walking in there with what he calls then you're going to be defeated by an inferior opponent feelings that drag you yeah isn't that the power itself well we'll talk about that yeah that sometimes the yetzer hudders best way to win is to uh psychological warfare to undermine your mood yeah and we'll talk about the tricky ways that the itsahada actually does that yeah yeah okay so you understand the context why tanya is speaking about simcha i think it's very important i think it's especially in our day and age where joy has become an idol an idol is anything that is deemed important for its own sake that's my definition of an idol because if you ask why is something important the answer should be because it helps me serve hashem or sometimes there are series of because because because and it takes a few steps before you can trace it back ultimately to how that helps me serve hashem but if the answer is it's important just because it's important well only hashem is important just because he's important because only hashem exists just because he exists and anything else that you give that type of status to and you say it's important because it's important in other words if i say to you you want you want to be happy yeah i want to be happy okay once you're happy what are you going to do with your happiness i don't know i'm just going to be happy that's idolatrous it's like saying i want a million dollars okay what do you want to spend it on no i want to have it so then the end-all be-all is the million dollars or the end-all be-all is the happiness it's not about happiness it's about serving hashem happens to be that the only way to do anything well including serving hashem is if you're in a good mood so in order to serve hashem well evdu you want to serve hashem properly how do you do it is an adverb it's not the direct object hashem is the direct object in other words the goal is aveda i'm serving hashem the means to properly doing it is joyfully yeah chapter 100 right [Music] i'm not familiar with the other sources outside of khabad so i'm not sure i actually am familiar but that's my passive-aggressive way of saying i'm not going to quote it in a time issue how you like that that's a madisha it's actually not since you not since you got me started this is very different than mitzvah de la lea specifically because that's saying that the simcha itself is the objective here we're saying the avedas hashem is the objective and the simcha is what facilitates it and makes it possible yeah well eating is a mitzvah if that's how you if that's the logic you're going to use which is fine it's it's true i mean we learned in chapter 7 of tanya that even mundane stuff that you're using for the sake of serving hashem becomes absorbed in the holy energy of the mitzvahs that you're doing okay i think this is very important al tadaba's approach to simcha simcha became very popular but i don't think this nuance is well appreciated there's a utility in simcha let's not idealize it there's a utility here yeah but that seems to be the paradox because i think anyone being the one and the psychological warfare i don't think there's anyone in this room that doesn't want to be happy so but so you're basically being told this is what's going to happen you're going to go through certain fails and then you should be happy bad so then what ends up happening is then then i'm sure everybody's trying but then there's just not only that if it doesn't work sometimes then there's a guilt of like well i i'm not serving god in the way it should be right so then it becomes uh it compounds the the negative feeling because not only am i not happy which any normal person would be sad about but now i found out that i should be religiously guilty about the fact that i'm not happy so now it's like yeah okay all right yeah if you thought you weren't happy before now i could be even more unhappy because you're sinning when you're not happy oh no okay okay but we're going to deal with it that's what this chapter is about it's about giving us tools for dealing with that okay so everyone understands first chapter first 25 chapters of tanya were presented with a system for becoming this bananee this person who and the inside has the inner conflict of the russia but on the outside is behaving like asadik and um now at this really halfway through time tanya is 53 chapters so 26 is almost halfway through um we're saying look the system's a great system but if you're not feeling good you're not going to be able to implement it so we got to take care of this issue okay why wasn't this much earlier then sometimes when i teach tanya start with chapter 26 people you know another reason i often start classes with 26 is because uh it's relatable like the first chapters of tanya are difficult to get through if you don't already have some desire in learning about serving hashem a lot of people aren't into that but you tell them this is going to help you be happy like you said everyone wants to be happy so then it's easier to sell so you should feel complimented that i started with chapter one with you and as for what's written says the wisest of all men says in every active and every sadness there will be an advantage well that seems to provide scriptural proof that sadness is okay not only it's okay but it's useful so how do we deal with that because the altitude just asserted a claim that sadness is going to undermine everything but we have this verse here that says of yemen every sadness will have an advantage so here's what it means that there will come from it some advantage to the contrary malasian zamasu this wording itself implies the sadness itself has no value iraq but rather shia give a yavi no yes that from it you will come to some advantage in other words read those words again it doesn't say the sadness is advantageous it says there will be an advantage which ensues from or following the sadness okay great what is that vahenu and now he spells it out hasim khamitas basham alaykov the true joy and hashem his god that will ensue after the true sadness at appointed times regarding his sins with a bitter contrite soul and broken heart there's a lot there to unpack hold on let's unpack it means a lot first of all the sadness itself is not advantageous but it sets the scene for something that is valuable to follow that's first of all second another detail to pick up here is he calls it true sadness or i might translate it as legitimate sadness in other words i'm sorry the altar is implying there's such a thing called illegitimate sadness and he's well we're going to talk about it at length about things that really you should not be sad about there are things that you should be sad about there are things that you should not be sad about so atsavarmiti means sources of legitimate sadness and he spells out what the sources of legitimate sadness are he's but first of all let me read the next words at appointed times that's key that's crucial it's at appointed times it's not just in out of the blue it's at appointed times it's on your schedule and then he spells out what the source legitimate source of sadness is it's about being sad about your sins in other words let's unpack this all be sad about something that you can actually control if you're sad about things that happen to you you're going to drive yourself crazy because you can't control what's happening to you but if you're sad about poor choices that you've made okay so then you can do something about that no not talking about that he's not talking about that he's talking about where you were at fault it's a legitimate sadness because you actually did something wrong and you should be sad because you did something wrong trauma something happened to you where are you at fault um it's not legitimate legitimate what legitimate physical reaction it's a fact it's a fact so the word sadness here is not the same as pain no no no it's not the same as pain what's the difference what's the difference pain is not cerebral you don't have to think about it in fact it happens on a level that thinking doesn't even doesn't even begin to touch that's why you can't talk your way out of it sadness here is very cerebral isn't that what talk therapy is yeah that's why talk therapy isn't effective on certain conditions if you have a messed up perspective then you can talk your way out of it but if there's something that's not the way you're thinking it's not your messed up thinking it's on a deeper level then you can't talk your way out of it if you can control your sadness can you control your pain control your pain as a tooth schreitman but i mean like okay when it hurts you say ow then you have to decide how to feel about it yeah that's a separate step okay but that's a separate step one is i'm in pain the other is how do i feel about my pain those are two those are two separate okay yeah so that that you could control but it isn't isn't there a thought that if i made a choice at that point there's the seat of the shema that i was meant to make that choice even if later i find out that it was the wrong choice but at that point that was the choice to make yeah that's that's uh that's a perspective but that's not he's not talking about you know everything has its place but this isn't it right here what he's saying is this you came to me and you were quoting king solomon the wisdom of solomon said king solomon said that every sadness will have an advantage and i have to address that so he says here's how i'll address it it's talking about legitimate sources of sadness which are not that something happened to you a legitimate source of sadness is where you messed up you deserve to feel sad you made a bad choice but even that he frames it and says it has to be eaten it has to be at appointed times see it's very very important that if you want to deal with your dirty laundry that it doesn't become something that overtakes your whole life and it has to have its set times it has to have its its place it's time and its place let's let's let's read a little bit more because is the elder rebbe saying that it everyone who has true joy has had legitimate sadness that's an interesting question could it could you get true joy and avoid can you just sidestep the whole sadness maybe not sure maybe yeah yeah in this chapter yeah yeah yeah is this a multi-week chapter yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah we could spend a year on this chapter but we're not we'll we'll we'll see how long it'll take us to get through it okay okay vasaya and then after you deal with your contrition over what you chose wrong then see there's this this is a verse in psalms a broken spirit or maybe i didn't say no hold on i got to back up i said li tim zumanum allah that through breaking down this spirit of impurity or by through breaking his heart he breaks the spirit of impurity which serves as a partition between him and hashem kamehameha al-pasic like desire says on the verse from psalms that a broken spirit and a broken heart hashem will not reject him and then what ensues is the rest of the passage or actually the beginning of that same verse tash meaning let me hear gladness and joy hashivalis return to me the joy of your salvation virginia diva gamer and place within me a generous spirit in other words this is not something that you get stuck in it's something that is a very defined process you set an appointment you go deal with whatever it is that you legitimately feel bad about because you did it didn't happen to you you did it and then you finish your session you have to if you don't finish your session this way you didn't do it right with relief that it's taken care of it's done i've been forgiven we're moving on so that's called productive sadness productive sadness is i feel bad legitimately i did a bad thing of course i feel bad i have a conscience so i go set an appointment this is not something i'm doing all day long i set an appointment i review what i've done i tell hashem i'm sorry and i finish feeling great that it's all cleaned up obviously if it's a being adam lejevador i think it's interpersonal relationships i also have to go to the person i wrong that goes without saying that's why the arizona set it up that you say this verse that we just quoted after tikken khatsa is ticking a sad prayer we say about our sins that caused the shekinah to go into exile but then we say this verse in order to prepare ourselves for the joy of learning torah which has to be done joyfully and this joy that comes after the sadness has a special quality of superiority like light that comes from darkness light that comes from darkness and there's different ways of understanding the advantage of light that comes from darkness some on one level it's subjectively if you've been in the dark and then you enter the the light that seems much more brighter then there's an even deeper level where darkness itself becomes transformed into light isn't that the whole concept of the moon i don't know yeah is that the same as chuba what we spoke about in chapter seven shivama ava which transforms sins into merits um yeah that's an even higher level i he i don't think he's stipulating it has to be of that level of chuva but that's a good reference yeah kamehameha maven like it says in the zayer on the verse king solomon again says i've seen there's an advantage of wisdom over folly like the advantage of light over dark but you could read it not islain advantage of light over dark but like the light that comes from dark meaning light which is made out of repurposed darkness in other words because i confronted my guilt and i finished it and i went to the bottom of it and i found forgiveness now i turned that spiritual yuckiness into a positive feeling of being loved and embraced by hashem okay so that's the type of legitimate sadness by legitimate sadness what we mean is productive sadness maybe let's say sadness that's actually going to get you somewhere because it has a definite goal it has a definite purpose um if you wouldn't go into that sadness you wouldn't be able to get the end result that happens by facing that sadness so that's a productive sadness you shouldn't be doing it all the time it's only eating monuments at appointed times but when you do set an appointment for it it's productive again why because it's something that you have control over i don't feel good about what i did i have to clean it up i have to make a better resolution for the future so that's a productive sadness um and now he goes back to the original premise of the chapter and he says anyways i'm talking about the importance of joy and as we know what the arizona said on the verse because you did not serve hashem with joy there's a there's a there's a verse because you did not serve hashem with joy the simple translation is because when life was good you took it easy and you didn't serve hashem now hashem is going to make life not so good for you that's the regular translation of the verse but the arizaw translates the verse and says like this because you didn't serve hashem joyfully you're making a lot of problems for yourself in other words it is a moral imperative to serve hashem joyfully so let's just review what we've said we started off and we said you need to know the importance the tactical importance of joy we give a metaphor two guys wrestling one guy's weaker than the other but he ends up winning because he's in a good mood the other guy's stronger he loses because he's in a bad mood so too with the eight zahoda you want to win it's not enough that the altitude will give you 25 chapters of training it's not enough you got to enter your wrestling match feeling good then he says well what about when king solomon says that there's an advantage to sadness he says exactly he doesn't say that sadness itself is worthwhile he says there can come from an advantage and that is in a very specific context it depends what the sadness is about and it depends when you're doing it first of all what is the sadness about about legitimate productive sources of sadness where you messed up so you should feel bad and when should that happen eat misumanum at appointed times he doesn't say so clearly but he mentioned remember he mentioned tikken katsos he mentioned the midnight prayer and other places i see this it talks about this is part of the bedtime shema the point is it's not the middle of your day it's definitely not the beginning of your day this is something you do like a shopkeeper takes inventory when he closes shop and there's no more customers there then you take inventory or like in a year alo aloe is right so at the end of a year you take inventory at the end of the year in the month of owl at the end of a week by the way thursday night is a time for inventory because your end of the week the last week night of the week is thursday night at the end of the day before you go to bed bedtime shema you take inventory but this is not something you should be doing in the middle of the day he'll talk about it a little bit more you will talk about that a little bit more more water yeah yeah sure thanks appreciate it okay now we're going to get into the difficult part yeah thanks this is tough stuff i feel funny starting it 45 minutes into into class it's like four or five lines but really it could take hours to explain it just on the most basic level to explain it properly he talks about and i'm so scared to use this term but i'm i'm not going to shy away from it illegitimate sadness or like i call it unproductive sadness i'm not against you the altar is not against you nobody's here judging you we're working for you we're trying to help you and we're saying to you there's some stuff you're sad about right now and it's not working for you it's not working for you if you want to get sad about your sins from time to time great set an appointment do that clean it up and emerge feeling refreshed and reborn and clean beautiful but there's some other stuff that you've been feeling sad about and it's not serving you well we're not here condemning you we're not here to make you feel doubly bad about it we're saying to you this stuff is weighing you down it's not helping you we want to get rid of it don't be so attached to your suffering that you won't even entertain the notion of referring to it as not legitimate sadness we're not saying that your feelings aren't real feelings we're not saying the experiences that led up to those feelings aren't real experiences god forbid we're not saying it what we're saying is the fact that these things are troubling you is not working for you it's not helping you and we want to get rid of this so that you can get back to being the best you which ultimately is important because that's how you serve a chef okay everyone's clear no you're not clear no can this same sadness be helpful for one person and hurtful for another this is categorically and unhelpful sadness what we're talking about it's not about who we're talking to this is categorically not helpful okay now that we've established how important it is to get rid of this sadness please rabbit tell me how to do it how do i get rid of the sadness all right the heanette to get rid of any trace of sadness or worry about worldly matters melee the alma worldly matters as opposed to what what's the other option spiritual matters there are worldly matters and spiritual matters spiritual matters we kind of actually spoke about we said your guilt about your immoral choices that's spiritual matters but now we're talking about worldly matters worldly matters doesn't just mean real physicality it could it could mean that as well but it means everything that happens in this world even the three biggies these are the three big categories of blessing and these are the three big categories of pain children health and wealth children health and wealth these are the big areas family problems health problems money problems now let me rephrase what i said the fact that these things happened is real we're not telling somebody no no no it never happened to you the fact that you respond with a certain pain to it we're not saying that's illegitimate yes this is painful but the emotional reaction that you're having to it is not working for you so we want to say how can we take the way we're emotionally processing these real problems they're real problems that's why it says afilo even such big big biggies like this how can we do something with this so that we don't get emotionally weighed down by it so yeah these other categories he's saying are sources of illegitimate or unproductive sadness this is not helping you these sources of sadness is not helping you we want to get rid of it doesn't mean we're getting rid of the actual experience the experience either it happened so there's nothing you can do or maybe it's happening we can dive and hashem can help to make it go away but that's not what we're talking about right now what we're talking about is my emotional response to the thing that happened or is happening my emotional response we have to be very clear what we're talking about here so what am i supposed to do i'm trying to serve hashem think about it set the scene i learned 25 chapters of tanya and i know about maya charlton eleven and i know about meditation and i know about the ava misutaris and all this stuff i learned in 25 chapters and i'm trying to be a good boy or a good girl and serve hashem but i have a life and not all of my life is perfect because that's the nature of this goalless and there are painful aspects of life and i'm only human and i'm responding to those painful aspects of life in a in a way that is emotionally weighing me down and i see i see for myself it doesn't allow me to serve hashem or it doesn't allow me to fully completely serve hashem the way that i could be so what am i supposed to do okay and not only that you say but i'm angry at hashem because ultimately these problems must come from a shop well let's find out i mean yeah they do but let's allow a little suspense okay okay what did you say that children health and wealth are worldly versus spiritual yes those are worldly problems but they're not spiritual no spiritual means you made a moral choice that's spiritual only means when your free will was at play the fact that you are blessed in these three areas or you're experiencing struggles in these three areas is not your free choice whether you do a sin or you do a mitzvah that's your free choice so spiritual means whatever does this make sense to you spiritual worldly basically forget those terms free choice that you chose or stuff that's happening to you that's it other people's free choice by the way could be their free choice but for you it's stuff that's happening to you i hope that's not overly complicated by your choices so yeah and vice versa okay legitimate sadness over a choice you made that has negatively affected your child yes yes yes you have to separate it you have to categorize it properly if you're feeling guilty about an immoral choice then we have one way of dealing with that but if you're feeling sad because life is hard then we have a completely different way of dealing with that okay we have nothing to do with the pain we have no way of dealing with these are just words and the words don't take away the pain the words are going to help you gain a perspective what to do with your pain we can't take away your pain we're not even going to pretend that that's possible in general you know all the things that everybody here that is just that is that is not the feeling the pain is is considered just a natural instinct and and that's okay i've never heard this distinction before well tell somebody not to feel a sensation it's it's it's not a productive order because you don't really have control over that whether it's from physical stimuli like somebody uh they stubbed their toe and you tell them well if you were really spiritual you wouldn't feel it come on or if it's emotional like uh somebody comes over they don't touch you they say they say a bad word to you they call you a name so there's just certain just there we're wired that we have certain responses to that um and then obviously it goes without saying some major trauma where there's just no way to avoid the way that affects the body we're not talking about that we're not pretending to deal with that we're talking about how you process your emotions about the situation so you have to distinguish between sensations which you have no you have no power over and ideas attitudes and emotions which you do have power over okay so here's it's really unwise to try to get into this this is a very um dangerous territory here because there are a lot of ways to teach this you know that hurt people and one way is if it appears in any way that we're being cavalier about people suffering and we say well just get over it just move on says in tanya here's the solution so just go and do it and and i want to be very clear the altareb is not minimizing these types of problems to the contrary the first thing he does is validate that these are a serious source of anguish he says when he says that word the altadebu doesn't use words lightly when he says even family health and money problems what he's saying is he's legitimizing the fact that those are big sources of pain for people and yet he's saying even those really serious sources of pain we have a way of dealing with it so that we won't be emotionally undermined by our experiences and in fact we could even maintain a really positive attitude so i just want to make sure everyone everyone understands the altar is not being cavalier he's not being insensitive and again like i said before he's helping you these emotions are not productive these emotions have not been serving you well these emotions are not allowing you to be your best you and to serve hashem on your best level so don't feel that you're not being validated to the contrary feel that you you are being validated somebody's saying to you i get why this thing would be painful i totally get it but what you want me to do because i i'm so empathetic to the fact that these things would devastate you i'm going to give you a certificate that says you have that that now you have a mitzvah to be devastated for the rest of your life how about if i validate you in both directions i'll say to you i get why this would devastate you and at the same time i get why you would love to have a way to be able to move on and not be consumed by these problems so that that's the balance here okay actually it's supposed to be freeing yeah it's supposed to be okay should we start the method i mean two paulo says why [Music] what should we do you want to like a sneak preview of the method yeah i'll say the first line of it but you have to promise me you're not going to be indignant or outraged if it doesn't come off the right way this saying of the sages must be known to all kashem just like we bless hashem and thank him for good and he says etc because if the al trebba can avoid spelling out something negative he avoids it and he just implies it and we all know the rest of the sentence so too it's so too one is obligated to bless hashem for the not good and that is the source in ghazal of the bracha diane which nobody wants to make da bracha but there's a concept in judaism that just like we acknowledge hashem when he gives us good we acknowledge hashem when he gives us the opposite okay so i guess there we spoiled yeah it is all from hashem it is all from hashem okay great fine i still don't know how to do this he's quoting a passage from the talmud that says that you're supposed to look at everything even the painful experiences and say thank you hashem okay you told me what i'm supposed to do you didn't tell me how to actually do that i mean i can say words but he didn't teach me yet how to actually say those words with sincerity how to actually feel that way stop crying or you i'm gonna take something else away you want you want to cry i'll give you something to cry about no no that's not what it is no no he's going to actually help us contextualize these types of experiences and again i told you it's not going to take away the pain that's that's an automatic response you have no free choice over how your body processes stimuli but on a cerebral level the way you think about it that we could reorganize and we're going to reorganize the way that we view these types of experiences it should be comforting yes and empowering yes and relieving and freeing yeah yes the way we balance them is not balancing them balancing them is mishmashing them and confusing it more separate the two i can be in pain and bar hashem i'm not suffering they're two separate things the resistance to the pain brings suffering yeah compounds the suffering isn't there also different the levels like the physical the emotional and the thoughts yeah this physical pain emotional pain one might argue emotional pain is even worse so we're going to the thought level to rationalize it so it affects the emotional and the physical we're not talking about sensations we're talking about emotions you do not have any control over your sensations but emotions as we learned back in chapter three remember we learned where emotions come from hamid the saint told us khabad that the emotions are the children of the intellect of kokomobi nadas so the way you cognitively process that determines the emotional response so we can do something about the emotions but emotions are entirely separate from sensations having a good perspective doesn't get rid of pain it helps you to deal better with your pain okay let's continue next week