Signs You're a Good Father...

What are signs that you're a good father? Um, there are a lot of signs of being a good father. I think the the main sign because you can't fake it. You can't it can't be simulated. Either you have this or you don't. If this is true about you, then it to me I could extrapolate a lot of other things about your your parenting style. And that is this. When your child is in trouble, whatever kind of trouble you like they say, little kids little trouble, big kids, big trouble, when your child is in trouble, do they hide it from you or do they seek you out? Now, I've spoken about this before and some people get really really like indignant about this. My kid better hide from me when he's in trouble. Really? Really? So, who do you want helping him out? like his friends who are even if they're good friends but they're young and inexperienced like your child. Okay. And then let's say your kid has friends that are not such good friends because that kind of happens sometimes. We don't always get to pick who our kids are hanging out with and especially if your kid is running away from you. So then he may may attach himself or herself to not good friends. So, the kids in trouble and trying to figure it out with a bunch of friends who may not have the best advice or may not even have your child's best interests at heart. Like, why wouldn't you want your child to seek you out when they're in trouble? So, I think it's like an ego thing for a lot of parents, like, you know, my child better know that they better be afraid to disappoint me. Well, every child naturally has an aversion to disappointing their parents. But when that's weaponized to the point where now your child is hiding things from you, where your child's keeping secrets from you, what have you gained? I don't think you've gained anything other than some perverse bragging right that look how much my kid's afraid of me that when he gets in trouble, he keeps it secret for the rest of his life. Like, what have you gained? Your job as a parent is to be your child's guide and teacher and mentor. And if you do that, if you do your job, then other people won't step in to fill the void and become a substitute parent figure, parental figure. You want to be your child's primary guide in life, not somebody else, not some stranger. Even in the best case scenario, even if it's a good stranger. And how much more so when the reality is that very often the people who step in to fill a parental void are not such good people and don't have your child's best interest at heart. So if you are the one who's going to teach your child how to live, teach them right from wrong, how to not just teach them plan A, but teach them when things get messed up and you need a plan B, you need to figure out troubleshooting. When you do make a mistake, how do you own up to it and then try to repair it? If you want to be the one who teaches your child that, then you have to ask yourself this question. When your child's in trouble, did they hide from you or hide it from you? Or did they come looking for you? Now, it doesn't mean that they come swaggering in like all cavalier. Yeah, I messed up. Fix it for me. Okay, that's not being a good parent either. If you're just fixing all of your kids' problems, that doesn't teach them responsibility. Then you're not really teaching them anything. You're just fixing things for them. But if your child comes to you with contrition, with humility, I messed up. I'm I'm embarrassed. I messed up. I But but who who can I come to other than you, right? What do I do? If that's the way your child is coming to you, then you are a success. That's a good father. That's a good father. And I I would say the same for a mother as well, but I'm saying specifically about a father right now because very often it's fathers who pride themselves in being like this this like I call it again the perverse bragging rights of like I'm the one in the home that the children the mo are the most ashamed of like not they're sh that's not how the parent thinks of it they don't think of it like my child's ashamed of me but my child maybe is ashamed of himself in front of me like and some people actually think that's a good thing like that in fact some mothers think that's a good thing well they'll tell the kid wait till your father gets home right Um, why why would that be something that you think would help you to do your job? Like what's your job? Honestly, what's your job? What's the job of a of a father? Teach your kids how to live, right? Teach your child how to be a responsible adult so that when you're gone, they can raise your grandchildren. So, like why would you deprive them of having you in their life as their primary guide and mentor by forcing them into a situation where they're ashamed of admitting any wrong in front of you? So that's why I said if you're a father and you can say that my child seeks me out at their darkest hour when they messed up and they know it and they seek me out, then I say there's a lot of other things that you're also doing right for all of that to uh fall into place. Hi there. I hope you're enjoying this. If the videos that we're creating have enriched your life in any way, I would like to ask you to please consider partnering with us to create more content to help change more lives. There's a link above as well as in the comment section to our annual campaign. We're raising our uh annual budget. If you would consider partnering with us at any amount, even a dollar, it makes you a partner in what we do in changing lives. Thank you so much.