Parents Should NEVER Say This To Their Kids!

the worst thing a parent can say to their child. There's obvious ones like, "God forbid, I wish you were never born," or things like that that are terrible, hurtful, abusive things for a parent to say. Those are obvious. I want to share with you one that's not obvious and it's so insidious because people don't even realize how devastating it is. It goes under the radar. And that is worst thing a parent can say to a child, "You make me so happy." What happens when a parent tells a child that the child is making the parent happy? In other words, that the child is responsible for the parents emotional well-being. What you're doing is inverting the entire parent child relationship where the parent is supposed to be the one providing emotional security for the child. But now what's happening is the parent is taking their own sense of emotional well-being from the child instead of giving it. So, it's an inversion of the entire relationship. And you're creating a little people pleaser, a codependent, somebody who thinks it's their entire job to make other people feel okay. It's devastating and it's effects are seen in this child as they grow up in all of their intimate relationships where they feel this burden of having to make other people feel okay. There are different terms that people use to describe this type of inverted relationship. Some call it enshment where the parent is using the child to meet their own emotional needs. There's another term for it which is a very inflammatory term and I hesitate to use it because it's so inflammatory. It's necessary to bring out the point and that is emotional incest or sometimes covert incest meaning it's not but it's abusive in the sense that the parent is using the child to meet their own emotional needs such as approval and validation. And it's so devastating because if a parent, god forbid, physically or abuses a child, the child will grow up and know that they were mistreated. In contrast, if the child was turned into the parents source of emotional well-being, very often the child never ever realizes that anything was done to them that was wrong. When do they realize it? Very often when their spouse spots it in them and says, "What's wrong with you? Why are you this way?" And they trace it back and they realize the origin of it. So the most devastating damaging thing for parents to say to the child is anything that would make your child feel that they are there to make you feel okay. So where am I supposed to get my feelings of being okay? All right parents, I'll tell you. That's why you have to be spiritual and have a personal relationship with God because your feelings of being okay have to come from him. Have to come from on high. Have to come from your maker. Not from your children who you're supposed to be providing for, not taking