Soul Stories - Episode #1 - Word Power

this is soul stories where we tell real life stories that yeah touch your soul i'm rabbi landau thank you for joining us welcome to soul stories a podcast of stories that touch the soul welcome to episode one david or as he was known in his hasidic circles in brooklyn david was a very successful middle-aged businessman he had a great wife wonderful children some of them still small he was prominent and well loved in his community and life was great when one day david begins to feel a little bit weak he just doesn't have the energy that he usually had he wasn't himself he figured he needed a break but when the condition didn't pass and he was getting weaker and he was losing his energy and something wasn't right he made an appointment with his primary care physician the physician did a comprehensive exam and sent david for additional testing a few days later the physician calls him up and says to him they would come into my office we need to talk the physician gets right to the point and shares with him that sadly he has an advanced form of advanced stage of cancer and that he needs immediate treatment but he says all is not lost i'm going to refer you to a very prominent oncologist at memorial sloan kettering in new york city he's a miracle worker and hopefully he can work a miracle and thus begins a journey a challenging journey that david never imagined would be his he's admitted to the hospital and they begin a rigorous regiment of treatment the days turn into weeks and the weeks turn into months and whatever was left of david the treatments were sapping him of and slowly but surely he was turning into a shadow of him for of his former self a skeleton one day after a particularly rigorous bout of therapy david said to himself this is crazy i have zero quality of life i'm shackled to my hospital bed i can't spend time with my wife and my children and the people that i love and these treatments are not making me better they're just making me worse i can't anymore tomorrow he says i have an appointment with the social worker i'm going to ask to call hospice at least i'll live out the rest of my life with quality at least i'll be able to spend time with my family at home with my children like this i'm just gonna die in my hospital bed with nothing to show for it that was his resolve at least perhaps he'd have a few good months before he left this world the next morning before david had a chance to meet with the social worker there was a knock at the door standing at the door was the head of oncology at memorial sloan kettering hospital david he said may i enter i wanted to talk to you about your condition of course david said and thus the doctor shared with him that he'd been reviewing his charts and that he did not feel that the treatments had the appropriate response and that they must do something else it was time to pivot he says david i only have one option left for you he says what's that he says there is an incredibly invasive surgery where we literally open you up and we go into every internal organ and we search all around if there's any cancer inside of it and we clean you out it's the only thing that i can recommend but it comes at a very high risk a it may not be successful because we can miss something and even if we are successful it could kill you and even if we're successful and it doesn't kill you the recovery process is so difficult that you may not make it through the recovery process what do you think is this an option or should we call hospice and david jumps out of his bed and he grabs the head of oncology by the lapels of his medical coat and he says to him i'm a fighter and if i have a fighting chance i'm going to take it when can we have the surgery today tomorrow oh says the doctor slow down we first have to make sure there's a slot you're going to need to undergo a battery of tests but if you qualify and you pass them i'm willing to give it a chance and next the and this is what happened a week later surrounded by his wife and his children his parents and his siblings david said goodbye to everybody he said ve doing the confession and with a prayer on his lips he went under the doctor worked tirelessly heroically for the next 10 hours they literally went through david's inner organs one at a time cleaning trying to purge after 10 hours miraculously they wheeled him out of the operating theater more dead than alive but yet still alive the recovery process was grueling it was nothing that david had ever imagined it was painful and it was horrific but slowly but surely david began regaining his strength and miraculously at the same time the indicator started coming through that he was cancer free miracle of miracles two months later david walked out of the front door of memorial sloan kettering hospital on his own two feet with a t-shirt that said i am a memorial sloan-kettering cancer center survivor he was cured it was time for a new lease on life david went home he wasn't himself but slowly but surely he began to reacclimate into regular life a month later david decided to throw a sauda a thanksgiving a gratitude party for everybody involved in his very arduous journey his family his friends and yes he also invited the staff at memorial sloan-kettering hospital the nurses the residents the orderlies and of course the doctor the head of oncology the man that had saved his life they all showed up and it was a joyous and very emotional suicide thanksgiving party there were speeches there was music there was a catered delicious meal at the end the last speech was none other than dudes himself and he got up there with tears in his eyes and he thanked the rabbi shalom the master of the universe for a brand new lease of life and he committed to living his life on a higher plane because he realized how fleeting life is he thanked from the bottom of his heart his wife his rock his children his friends his extended support network and he thanked profusely the incredible medical staff at memorial sloan kettering for literally providing him with life-saving care but he saved perhaps the best for last he saved the thanks for the doctor the head of oncology at memorial slunk hetering and he got up there and he said something that shocked everybody but it shocked the doctor more than anyone else he said you think i'm standing up here today and i'm going to thank you for your heroic medical treatments for literally saving my life with the surgery i'm not going to thank you for that that's part of your job that's your experience that's why you went into the field this is one of your numbers i can't thank you for that i should i do but that's not my main thank you he says doctor i'm gonna thank you for something that you have no idea about the doctor looks at him perplexed he says the night before i was about to throw in the towel and call for hospice when i decided i needed quality of life over life itself i heard a conversation right outside my hospital room and i knew it was you because i've met you before and you were having a conversation with a number of your fellows and this is you were just you weren't even discussing me you were discussing a guy three rooms over who i had gotten to know we'd been on the floor together long enough and some of the fellows said we've been reviewing his charts he's terminal there's no hope and you looked at them and you said something so powerful you said for most people there would be no hope but i happened to have gotten to know this guy the guy in the room 300 three doors over and i realized that he's a fighter and when a patient is a fighter there's no way to know who's going to win and who's going to lose that fight i'm not giving up on him and i heard those words and i said tomorrow i'm planning on calling hospice am i a fighter can i tell myself that i gave myself an opportunity to have quote unquote the last fight and i made up on that that moment that if someone were to give me the opportunity to fight that fight i would get in the rink and give it all i had so at least i'd know that if i go down to my grave i fought that fight with every last iota of strength that i contain doctor the next morning before i had a chance to call hospice you came in remember you offered me this quote-unquote life-saving surgery and what was my reaction i jumped out of bed and i grabbed the lapels of your medical of your lab coat something no one probably ever did before because you realize i'd resolve myself that if i had the opportunity to fight a fight i would do it because i'm a fighter and fighters don't go out down without the fight and look doctor he said you saved my life not even with the surgery because you kindled a new spark of hope and look where we are today i'm surrounded by my amazing wife who thank god is not going to be a widow by my children who won't be orphans all because of that conversation that you unknowingly had with a number of your fellows the doctor began to sob and to cry bitterly david went over imagine the scene this hasidic guy with curly paste and a long beard a long black coat he puts his arm around the doctor a high medical profession professional and he says to him doctor it's emotional no the doctor stands up and he confesses something he says you may think i'm crying because i'm inspired may think i'm crying because of the opportunity to kindle hope that's not why i'm crying these are tears of tremendous sadness the tears of pain and remorse for three decades i've been a top oncologist you know how many times i told my patients that there was no hope i extinguished the candle of hope imagine if i would not have extinguished that if i would have told them listen i don't know you but if you've got the fight inside you maybe you could win imagine how many more patients i could have saved imagine how many more families would still be whole at this point but sadly and callously and perhaps sterily what did i do i told them i think it's the end and it actually was the end and the doctor began to cry a whole new set of fresh tears david who was a hasidic guy and didn't know what to do walks over to the doctor again he gives him a hug and he says doctor where i'm from here in brooklyn we don't just sit here and cry about things we do something react doctor he says you have your medical staff here commit that you're gonna change your ways that going forward you will never extinguish the light of hope that going forward you will bolster and you will inspire patients who may not have much left to them because you never know look what happened to me look look at my life that was saved you could do it doctor the next three decades your numbers could be through the roof just by changing your perspective very hesitatingly and haltingly and difficult for the doctor he stood up and he says david has taught me a life lesson which no one else ever taught me before i commit god willing i'm going to try to bring up i'm going to try to inspire i'm going to try to kindle the candle of hope in all my patients and who knows how many human lives i could sustain and preserve ladies and gentlemen we have no idea about the power of our words a conversation an innocent conversation the doctor had no idea that david was listening yet it saved his life and impacted the hundreds of thousands of lives that would have been impacted by its possible early demise our words are so powerful our tradition teaches us life and death are in the hands of our tongue we can build and we can destroy which brings me to the next beautiful personal story that happened a bunch of years ago it was one of those days in new jersey where the weather service was forecasting a mega blizzard feet of snow were supposed to fall gale force winds blizzards white out conditions but we had time to prepare two or three days before the mother of the storm would hit our town and i did what all good dads and good husbands and good people did i asked my wife for a list of stuff that i could get from shoprite to local mega supermarket because who knows we may be hunkered down for a few days till they clean the roads and even then it'll be icy and it'll be treacherous and she gave me the typical list there was macaroni and hot cocoa and all the flowers so she could bacon maybe a flashlight or two and some matches and candles anything we may need we could lose power like we do often the problem is i show up to shop right i come into the parking lot there are no spots in this massive parking lot because every other person in central jersey had exactly the same idea as me finally i find a parking spot i make my way into the store finally i find a shopping cart and i begin my purchases in a packed store i get everything together i put it into my cart and then the next stage begins waiting online and i wait online probably 15 minutes it is what it is i get upset why i get frustrated finally it's my turn to take my items and to put them on the counter and have the cashier begin to ring them up and she begins we know how we know that we know the game we know the rodeo and i take one look at the cashier and i noticed that she looked so beat she looked so shocked and i looked at her and i said you look so tired she says to me you have no idea i've been standing on my feet for five hours i haven't even taken a bathroom break look at these lines look at all the people that need food before the blizzard just dumped on this area over here i can't just walk away from this so i'm working and i'm working extra hours and i'm working really hard and i said to her thank you so much if my family is stuck if we're locked down and we're able to eat it's only because of good people like you i really appreciate it and that was the end of our conversation 15 seconds 20 seconds within 60 seconds while she's still ringing up my items a woman four aisles over who i'd never met before i don't think i had looks at me and she sees that i'm bagging in the disposable plastic bags and in a shrill and nasal voice in front of the packed supermarket she says oh my gosh four aisles over a rabbi that uses plastic bags doesn't he care about the environment aren't rabbi supposed to be role models and i'm sitting there and i'm like shaking no i was just using plastic i do care about the environment i'm just like a regular guy and it's quiet around me everyone's looking at me i don't know what to do my cashier who i'd never met before looks at that woman and says to her i'm not going to say the exact words but like be quiet he's a good person don't you talk that way about it everyone looks at me and the talking resumes and she saved my face i thanked her profusely and i remember rolling my card out and thinking to myself what just happened here i never met this cashier once in my life our entire interaction was 15 or 20 seconds yet when someone attacks me and i'm helpless she stands up to defend me why would she do that and after thinking it through i realized because you know how many people walked through that cash register that aisle and just ignored her they were on their phone or even if they didn't they said hey how you doing but how many people gave her value how many people said thank you how many people used their words to build another person up and i happened to have done it and hey because of that she appreciated it so much so that she was willing to defend a stranger against another stranger the incredible power of our words 15 seconds of words imagine the connection now i'll tell you a little post script to this story i wrote an article about this the article was called check out encounters and i shared my feelings and i shared the resolve that i made after that point which i still keep until today to always make small talk with the cashier never to be on my phone and if i come there i'm on the phone i'll say you know what i'm about to check out it's not respectful so they see that anyways my article was picked up by a woman by the name of ariana huffington she reached out to me and said i was touched by your article i'd love to give you a blogging post at the huffington post where i blogged for a bunch of years until they shut down all the blog now the huffington post i have no idea where all those blogs are it's okay but the bottom line is that is the power of our words that's my challenge to you as well take this checkout challenge see if you can get off your phone if you could look the cashier in the eye make small even meaningful or unmeaningful conversation i'm telling you hundreds of people walk by them but how many people give them a little bit of human respect i'll conclude with a little tiny tidbit that happened to me last week i went to tj maxx to do some honey-do list to return some stuff and the customer service rep was there you know going through all the stuff that my wife had whatever she was doing she asked me to pick up and whatever and i just said that he was wearing a mask i was and i said you know do i have to be wearing a mask he goes maybe maybe not i began talking about covet and we had about a 90 second conversation about the cons of covid and i shared with them some perspective how covert was great for me on a certain level it was sad and you know a lot of people died and stuff like that but personally i got a chance to get spend time with my children my children got a chance my older ones with my younger ones and he says you know what i never thought about it that way i did have more time with my family and at the end of the conversation we're finished he looks at me he says to me god bless you and i said thank you that's really kind of you god bless you too and i walked away thinking to myself why did you just say god bless you why'd i get his blessing very simple because i talked to him it was the end of a long work day and someone gave him a like he's saying hebrew a little a little bit of value look at the power of our words let's take this to heart let's upgrade our lives and let's change the world around us with positive world power if you liked this podcast please share it with your family and friends if you enjoyed this podcast please share it with your family and friends if you loved it why not sponsor an episode contact sponsor kalatorakula.com that sponsor at [Music] k-o-l-h-a-t-o-r-a-h-k-u-l-a-h dot com until next time