Soul Mates According To Kabbalah And Chassidut

[Applause] [Music] and coalistic and acidic teachings. What mystical insights are offered into the nature of soulmate connections? How do these insights influence Jewish perspective on marriage and spiritual growth? The uh the first duff uh says that a righteous person is uh given a modest woman, a wicked person is given a immodest woman uh to marry and the comment on it extensively uh about how uh if she is modest then certainly she's more likely to be righteous and that's why she matches the righteous person and if she's not modest then certainly she's is wicked and therefore she matches the wicked person. Why? Because is the one that decides who you're going to marry, whether you're going to get married or not, whether you have kids or not, how long you're going to live, when you're going to die, all of those different things are in the hands of Hashem. The only thing that's in the hands of a person is whether they'll follow uh the laws that Hashem instilled into the world. But whether you live, die, rich, poor, all those things are in the hands of Hashem. Now what happens if a person uh does certain deeds can that change the fortune? Yes. Uh the uh when a person comes to this world they're you know they're coming into this world like a little animal. They have just the they're making a uh you know they're clueless. They don't really know right or left and it's obviously part of their education to from their parents from school uh to to build themselves up. Now if a person follows in the right path they could become very righteous and akad could give this person a very righteous woman you know early on in their life. But if the person comes into the world and makes a bunch of different sins and starts going in the path of sins, then even if Hashem originally planned for this person a very righteous woman, uh let you know let's say uh she is on on on the level of righteousness from 1 to 10, one being nothing, 10 being, you know, extremely righteous. Let's say she's a level eight and she was supposed to be his zeug. She was supposed to be his wife. But if he's on a path of path of wickedness and he has dropped from being a level eight that he was and he started making so many sins, he's now down to a three, he's wicked, then Hashem is not going to punish this righteous woman by giving her to this wicked uh wicked guy. So what is he going to do? He could potentially give this woman to somebody else. Meaning that person loses their original shid lose. Now what if he does chuva? If he changes his actions and he starts becoming righteous, if if he's become righteous in time before she has gotten married, then he'll get the original zoo. But if not, he'll get somebody else that's also very good for him. Now, of course, I know that a lot of people I say, "Oh, maybe the reason why I didn't get married is because my voo already got married to somebody else." Don't do the calculations of Hashem. Do the calculations for your own life. Hashem will give you somebody perfectly fine for wherever you stand. The problem today is uh more than sins and more than uh uh ignorance is that people are when it comes to Zeuim is that people are too picky. People are too picky when it comes to marrying people. And unfortunately, instead of, you know, looking for somebody that you could build a life with, somebody that you can grow with, somebody that you could become a better ver version of yourself and help them become a better version of themselves with, people are usually looking for a uh somebody that they could take from, not help. They're looking for a bank account. They're looking for a social security account. They're looking for an inheritance account. They're looking for a certain amount of beauty account. So physical pleasure account, they're looking for all types of things that really are temporary and material. Uh and uh worse than that, people are very very critical of other people's flaws uh much more than they are critical of themselves. One of the worst things that I see is how critical people are of other people's looks. Like, oh yeah, Rabbi, no, I don't really like uh blonde. No, no, it's I prefer the brunette. Oh, no, Rabbi. I don't like the brunette. I I prefer blonde. Oh, Rabbi, her hair is too short. Oh, Rabbi, her eyebrows are too thick. Oh, Rabbi, her Hey, what do you think you are? What do you think? You're a beauty queen. You have a keg in front of you. Every time you walk, everybody's asking for a beer. What are you talking about? What? What? What do you think you People sometimes mistake you for a cartoon character, and you're worried about what she looks like? People are delusional sometimes. This is what holds people up from getting married. They're too picky. Or the worst is when they're too picky about other people's character flaws. Oh, you know, she uh she gets frustrated too fast. Oh, she's anxious. She's nervous all the time. Oh, she's not too talkative. Or she talks too much. And you what? What? You're a perfect human being. You're the uh the uh the sadik that all of us need to learn from. Everything about you is uh is white. Problem is if the person did not cancel the potential shid himself, every person has at least five family members and friends that will cancel it for him. Meaning that even if he decides that this girl could potentially be his next wife, what happens? somebody that's part of his family or his friends or some type of circle that he's in the circle of breaking shidim somebody will put some type of poisonous thought in his mind to say no why this is not what you didn't notice that uh she wore two different shoes oh you didn't notice that she wasn't really uh too nice to your mother when you came in she didn't even say hello until 20 minutes later or you didn't notice that she did this and you didn't notice and everybody's going to cancel it out for you. So what happens? People stay single. And that's why today people say it's a shid crisis. It's not a shid crisis. It's a mid crisis. I've been saying this for 10 years. People have bad character traits. Not bad character traits that no one can marry them. Bar bad character traits that causes them not to want to marry anybody else. I even had a situation a couple times happened to is one of the reasons why I hate dealing with shidim where I think of something. Oh, you know what? Maybe this girl will be good for this guy. They're both religious. They both have civil ideology. I had one situation where one guy said, "Oh, let me set up a call with her." He sets up a call with the girl. Maybe 20 minutes after, he sends me a message. Now, we realize that we're not we're not a good match. Are you kidding me? This is how you look for a wife. You have a phone call 20 minutes later you decide this is not a match. This is this is how what what and that's the problem. Now if you are on your first time you're 20 years old fine but these people are 35 40 45 years old and still waiting for Mr. or Mrs. Perfect. Another time I had a guy simply doesn't doesn't uh didn't show up to the date and never answered the phone again. like such inappropriate, disgusting, despicable behavior that really it makes you uh you know it makes you really uh just scared scared of what the future holds for for for this generation. I mean it's uh literally they're uh people have such bad manners. Uh so if somebody wants to get married, my number one recommendation to them is work on yourself. Learn as much Mousar as possible to make yourself a better person. The better person you are, the better Hashem is going to send you. If you focus on everybody else and what everybody else is going to have and you're going to be judgmental, then unfortunately you're going to fall into the trap of the Satan and end up probably either marrying somebody that you shouldn't or uh you'll end up staying alone and make a lot of sins. We are meant to be a light unto the nations, not to follow their misguided practices. Remember, every Jew has to remember that he's a Jew and she's a Jew. We don't celebrate non-Jewish holidays, even if they seem harmless. It's a zil disrespect to the Torah and could lead to chal Hashem, desecration of God's name. Stick to our holy Torah and our own holidays. That's the path of a true Jew.