Soldier Coming Home - Accepting Our Children for Who They Really Are - Rabbi YY Jacobson

[Music] it was a boy went to Vietnam to fight he survived he called up his father Thursday and he said that I arrived in California from Vietnam the army base I can come home on Monday Wow amazing dad one request my best friend in my platoon he stepped on a mine he was third armed he was two legs he has no family we're best friends can I bring them home with him take care of him father says son that would be a big mistake you know we were going to be nice to him on the outside but inside we're gonna resent he's going to make our lives miserable it's not going to be easy it's going to be very difficult he says bad I promise you little love this boy he is the sweetest brightest most charming kid in the world you're gonna love him he says son I don't have a doubt that I've no lover but internally I'm gonna Haven internally I'm going to be miserable because he's living in my home this is not my responsibilities the government's responsibility they will put him in a home that can help him they will pay for him you can go visit him well this is we don't want such a person in our home it's really not going to work your mother and your father are going to dispossess I'm telling you the truth he says daddy thank you I'm doctor fun that it's Sunday father ethical who's the police the police said that there was a soldier came back from Vietnam and he took this life over the weekend jumped off a roof they think he may be related to if he could come identify the bus they take they identified the body it was his son and he saw that his son was missing the arm in the two likes his son was not talking about his best friend he was talking about himself this is a story someone said to me I'm not here to judge anybody in the world especially not a person who has his own challenges and as the missioner says never judge anybody until you don't reach their space until I don't marry somebody else's shoes I don't judge them and I never wear anybody else's shoes we really fit into my own shoes I don't judge anybody I didn't have very much of a deal on climate but this story taught me a lesson I'll tell you what it is sometimes we're ready to accept a children that look like the children we hope we're going to have we're ready to accept our loved one as long as they fit into the mold of what my student my side of my grandchild my daughter my son my teenager is going to look like as long as you fit into that mold I'm here for you I love you I'll do everything for you our paper you see but maybe a college or university I'll marry you won't I'll pay for you to learn in color for twenty nine and a half years as long as you look like the one that I need you to look like so I could sit down and say I have nice music the moment my child looks different both my father's on a different journey suddenly the worst in us comes out I have no space for you some parents will fill their children out of their homes sometimes will keep their children in their home but they will resent them and they will have only a negative attitude towards them but there comes a time in your life when I say to you ask not what your child to do for you ask what you to do for your child and ask not how everything fits into your picture my my question has to be how do i transcend my comfort zones and say I'm going to be here for you I know it hurts and I know it's painful and I know it's not the journey I wanted and I know it's not the journey that I expected but let me tell you something my difference if you go over to Germany it's not only your child will be saved you will also be saved it's not only your child who will find the new life as hard as it is to believe you will also discover a part of yourself and a part of God that you never knew about thank you very much [Applause]