Transcript
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Somebody reached out to me the other
day, uh, therapist actually, and was
saying that he was dealing with a lot of
men who felt stuck, like this was a
common experience that a lot of his, uh,
clients had that they felt stuck. And he
was asking me if I had any words to
offer them. Now, obviously, not knowing
them individually and knowing their
individual circumstances, I don't have
anything specific to say, but
I do have some general thoughts.
and and that is and here I'll tell you
what I told him. Um when somebody feels
stuck, sometimes they're not really
stuck, but they feel stuck. But it
doesn't help that much to like try to
convince them that they're not really
stuck because [laughter]
being mentally stuck can be just as real
in its effect as being objectively
stuck. So whether a person is in a cage
of their own making or not, like
it doesn't help to keep berating
somebody or even to do it in a pleasant
way and you know say it sweetly, but if
someone's not ready, they're not ready.
Okay? If they're not ready, they're not
ready. Meaning sometimes people are in
situations that they know how to change
it but they're not ready for that change
for whatever reason because they're
afraid of
change itself but because they're they
have feel certain duty for men this is
very common they feel certain duty or
obligation um to others doesn't matter
but here's what I I told him you can
sort of offer people which is helpful
and that is okay you're stuck for now.
How long are you stuck for? We don't
know. Um, you know, God has a big wide
hand and he can change things very very
rapidly and we never know what life will
bring us a second from now. So, you
know, be hopeful and be curious and uh
be on the lookout for awesome changes.
But in the meantime, let's say you are
where you are and there's nothing really
different
you can do as far as like these are my
circumstances. Okay, then the logical
next question to ask yourself is then
what is it that I can do now? And not
only I can do now under my present
circumstances, but in a certain way like
I can only do now under my present
circumstances. In other words, let's say
a minute from now you're unstuck. You're
out of here. Like whatever cage you were
in, the doors just open and you get to
walk out and go to the next thing and
it's awesome. But what mission did you
have back in the cage? Cuz you're not
going to be able to go back into the
cage and do that mission after you're
out. So the question is like this. for
now. For now means for the next few
minutes
in the situation that you're currently
stuck in. whether I don't want I don't
not trying to be patronizing by putting
in scare quotes, but like let's say even
it's subjectively stuck and not
objectively stuck, but either way,
what is it that you can do now
to be useful, to be of service,
to share some type of a gift?
That you have to be where you're at
right now in order to do that.
In other words, it's axiomatic that, you
know, at least coming from where I'm
coming from, my belief [clears throat]
system, that the way God creates the
world is when we say that everything is
orchestrated from on high. What we mean
is
wherever you're at right now, it's not
by chance.
And that doesn't always mean that where
you're at right now is a great place.
Life does have ups and downs. And there
are periods of life where we're in a
difficult place
and sometimes we're in a difficult place
for a really really really long time. Um
but
that's not random.
And and and and don't say, well, yeah,
I'm being punished. No, I mean, why come
to that conclusion? Maybe there's a
mission where you're being sent
into a difficult place. You're behind
enemy lines, so to speak, but you're not
there just to endanger you. You're there
because there's a mission that can only
be done in that place.
And in fact, in some ways, you know,
when you finish the mission, it [snorts]
sometimes becomes clearer that it's time
to move on. Like, I did what I can do
with this,
and now I'm I'm done here. I'm not
needed here anymore. When I when I'm no
longer needed here, I'm free to go to
the to the next situation. So, this is
what I encourage you um to look for what
contribution you can make while in the
situation that you're in now. And it
does another thing for you, which is it
sort of shifts things from passive to
active. instead of feeling like a victim
because you're dwelling on the fact that
your circumstances are are beyond your
control, which they are. I mean, your
circumstances are what they are, but but
you're choosing to frame it differently.
You're you're focusing on the fact that
you have free will to behave how you
choose to behave even under these
circumstances. And not just even even
under these circumstances, but like
uniquely under these circumstances, what
is it that you can choose? So look
around and sort of
notice where you can do something and it
may be something small. When it comes to
serving God, God is infinite. So the
cool thing about that is nothing's too
small and nothing's too big.
Nothing's too too small and nothing's
too big. Um, you know, nothing's too
big. We all know that nothing is too big
for God. But nothing's too small for
God. So even something that seems
trivial, like
reaching out to one person in in
[clears throat] one way on one occasion,
that's not too small for God. That has
infinite significance in the eyes of
God. [snorts]
And if you're in a situation right now,
whether that means a physical location
or it means a a living situation or a
relationship or whatever it may be or a
job or an economic situation, whatever
that is,
look around and see what little bit of
light are you able to shine that you
need to be here in this place under
these conditions in order to shine that
little bit of light and it doesn't make
you unstuck
but
it helps you to see why you are where
you are for now
and then you know like I said things can
change very rapidly and then you'll be
in a new place and you'll do what's
needed from you over there and that's it
we just we go from place to place
wherever
God's hand moves us and then uh we look
around and We see where we have
opportunities to be useful. That's it.
That's what life's all about.
