Shnayim Yomi - Va'era - Sheni - #2 - Rabbi Elchanan Shoff - Being Alike and Unlike in Marriage

of parasa married Elishva who was the daughter of Amina and the sister of so normally we would just say who the parents were why do we have to mention who the sibling was says Rashi because a person who marries A girl should look into her brothers and see what kind of people they are. As our sages tell us, the majority of brothers out there will be similar to the mother's brother. The majority of sons will be similar to the mother's brother. And therefore, interestingly, we find another gumar which recommends as an ideal to marry basoso. A person should ideally marry his sister's daughter, marry his niece. And in the old days, they used to do that. It's a very interesting idea. What would be the reason? And isn't that bad for the genes? I mean, what's the message? You know, when when the Torah says not to marry one's sister, we find that it's called it's a it's a kindness. It's a funny word. But the Gamarra says, you know, in the early parts of creation, a person shouldn't marry his sister in the early times of creation. And it was necessary says the Gomorrah that Cayenne have to marry his sister because God wanted the world built in a way where a brother married a sister. And that's like a very interesting observation um when you look into the idea of siblings getting married and why that's bad for the genes. So it's very interesting because with raceh horses some of the major winners of important races were bred between siblings. When the genes are perfect what it does is it amplifies marrying two people that have very similar genes to one another. It amplifies whatever's good in there. But what also happens is that whatever's bad gets amplified too. In a world before Cen and Cayenne and his twin, this girl twin that he married according to the Gamarra were born before the sin. That's according to this Kamar Tus points that out. And therefore they were perfect. They weren't yet touched by sin. So marrying one sibling brings out all the good things in you and multiplies them. But when people have any weaknesses in the DNA and this is why when people can marry siblings nowadays it's very bad for them. It damages those people. You know, this may be why um we have this medish that says that Yakov's children all the married twins. I don't know if it's a literal statement, but since the Aos had this job of rectifying the sin of Adam Harish, so then they had this amazing um this amazing thing that the children of Yakov who were finally a perfect family. So they uh they married their twins. In other words, it was like being back in Ghana. Um the idea then that theatim married twins right let brings us back to this idea of marrying someone similar to you. The maral explains as as do other that the reason Hashem wants people not to marry in their own family is because everyone has positives and negatives and what a person needs to do is marry somebody who has other positives that overcome their negatives. When it comes to getting married, we know that a person needs an Azer connetodo. And it says it very explicitly in the Torah that Adam was looking for an Azer connect. He wanted on the one hand in a somebody who would help him in all the things he valued like shared his values, was similar to him. Yet at the same time, you also need somebody who in the long run if you have any weaknesses will help make up for those. Therefore, Hashem wants us on the one hand to marry someone similar to us, someone who we share their values. we get along with, we can have a good life with. And at the same time, every family and every person has Milos andronos. So perhaps that's what's behind marrying a Basoso. There's no one more similar to you in the whole world than Basoso because most children are like their father's their mother's brother. So if you are the mother's brother and you marry that girl, that is the girl most similar to you in the world. And at the same time, it's not your actual sibling because we need to appreciate both the qualities that complement us and the ones that appear to contrast us as well. May we be za to appreciate this message of being married and connected to somebody who both has similarities us but also real differences and comes from a bit of a different family and has different things that make up for our positives and negatives all together.