The mystery of Moshe’s father in law | Rabbi Shmuel Goldin

all of the shim this morning are dedicated by Gail and Marty elat in memory of their aliat of for Sigman and epon on the occasion of his 55th y site 21 T8 uh this year particularly is sponsored by Estell Harris uh for Rabbi Golden's good health continued good health m she loves listening to the sheer thank you all right okay we're g to uh deal with another mystery today uh one that I think is is really very very interesting we're going to focus on an ancillary figure in the Torah uh who may be teaching us some very important lessons and that is we're going to take a look at yro the father-in-law of Moshe who also is called by other names you know as well etc etc and we're going to take a look at how the Torah Maps out his involvement with Ben Israel and with Moshe and we'll see some very interesting things let's first begin by saying that yro first appears when Moshe runs escapes to midan that's when he first appears when mosha arrives in midan he saves the daughters of Isel from being pursued or being um persecuted and yro says when his daughters come back this man saved us he says well bring him into the house why did you leave him standing there and he comes in and eventually marries seor has the experience of the burning bush and we've already spoken about moshe's return and the difficulties that ensue with Moses return to Egypt but now we're going to take a look at at M the scene of Matan Torah at the scene of Matan Torah we're at Hari we're about to begin Revelation very shortly and the Torah tells USS ISRO hears the news of all the miraculous events that have occurred to the Israelites and all that God has done for them by taking the course of taking them out of Egypt and what is ISRO do he Saddles a donkey he brings the Mish he brings Tora and her two sons moshe's two sons and he comes elhar elim he comes to SI why he's coming not quite sure but we'll see now what what happens then is Moshe as Israel actually gives some very specific advice to Moshe he tells Moshe you can't do this as you're doing it you're it's too much of a burden you have to appoint people you have to divide up the people into tens 20s 30s Etc and Appo people over them and the Torah tells us yes Moshe listens to him and then the bottom of the page MOS and he doesn't say this isn't important he doesn't say m that would be he kicked him out that would be poor uh Paradigm for treating in-laws but the fact is the fact is that means he let him out in other words he said you're you know we thank you very much and if you want to go you can go and isra leaves supposedly the Torah tells us he leaves now revelation a curse we're going to deal with that some other time after Revelation Ben Israel begin their Journey from har supposedly hopefully to go straight into the land of Israel now this is this is a very momentous moment I've often said that the most important moment of revelation of Matan Torah is the moment we leave because the moment we leave determines the value of everything that came before if we leave leave carrying the Torah with us in our hearts and our minds then everything that has occurred will be worthwhile if we leave the rabbis say which is the way we left like a child running away from school got finish that then we're going to run into trouble which we do but at this point the trouble has not begun and this is a majestic moment this is a majestic moment because we're departing heri we are now fully a nation these are our foot first footfalls as a nation first steps as a nation and the Torah Chronicles the Torah says to us I'm looking at page two and they're following the and the goes to the Wilderness of Pon and that's where they go etc etc etc and then the Torah continues I I skipped a couple of there but what the that I skipped are outlining the way in which benra left Hari in other words the deim the the flags and everything everything about this moment is majestic when all of a sudden out of nowhere the Torah says Moshe Moshe speaks to kov the Mite K Moshe the the his father-in-law all of a sudden Moshe is conversing again with Israel and what does he say to him he says please come with us come with us because was God is going to do for good for us and do and give us great good and you will be able to benefit from that good where does ISRO come from the Torah does not mention at any point that ISRO has returned to harini right in other words he we the last thing we knew was he went back to M so what's he doing at Hari at this point doesn't make sense it's really not clear right what this is peric right correct correct okay this is bidor wait a minute that's that is inot that is ining and that's and here I'm referring to what happens in pus by midbar when we leave in peric by midbar when we leave all right in other words we are traveling away from our SII we've entered another book two books of the we' skipped he left according to schot he left it's very clear so what's he doing at Hari why doesn't the Torah tell us that he returned or when he returned and Moshe is now having a conversation with him and let's look at listen to the conversation Moshe says to him please come with us cuz God is will deal well good will give us good so says to him I will not go now I'm not going to travel with you I'm going to go back to my home to my land and to my birthplace persists mosha persists and says please don't leave us no means please he's begging him please stay with us you are well versed in the in the pathways of the Wilderness it's okay you can [Laughter] stand um the pathways of the Wilderness and you will be eyes for us you'll be a great guide and as you travel with us the good that God gives to us we will share with you next end of the conversation what don't we know does he stay does he go is what what did he answer mosenu I mean again we're we're we're we're being told that a conversation takes place and we're left hanging we're left hanging because we don't know whether isra agrees to come back or not yes or to stay or not was his name at this moment HOV his name changes periodically in the Torah and the rabbis will discuss just like yob we'll discuss we'll discuss why right in other words we don't unlike Yakov and Israel we are told of the name change it just changes it's it's different okay now there are a variety yes I'm sorry say again why does he want him to come very good question I think he respects him I he has given him very good advice concerning the leadership of the people and he and he what and he wants he knows the will and as he says he knows the Wilderness he can help them but he said you have been the eyes no not been the eyes you are the in other words what he says is as follow translate all right well I didn't translate I just copy the translation so let's see all right that's okay um it says literally um where is [Applause] it you you have known or you know the the paths in the wilderness and you'll be our guide we you'll be for us eyes he says okay not that you no no no no that that's that all right now by the way this all is very important because does yro experience Matan Torah or does he not experience Matan Torah according to the specific text it seems that he leaves and comes back afterwards all right so we're going to see the following there are a variety of different opinions they are based if you look at p number three they are based upon two two um debates the first between RAB and Rua Le and the second between Reb yua and rebar all right the first debate is as follows when did yro arrive right the first arrival according to one and it doesn't tell us who says what in this case which is sometimes happens that never came before Revelation the fact that it that that portion is placed there is for another reason he only comes afterwards it's one visit and the conversation that occurs ends with that that was inot really belongs in Bidar why is the Torah telling us and it's very interesting Why is the telling us about yro at that particular moment if that's not when he comes that's when he gives all the advice no he wasn't there he was only after says the ramban why was the text placed there for one reason we just left am which is a a a a narrative concerning our devoted enemy the Torah wants to balance that text with the discussion of is who is right now the Torah wants to balance amake with Israel now this is very important I've said this before unfortunately too many Jews don't know this we respect non-jews as long as they respect us right and as long as they in other words we believe that there is a value to every human being and we believe that as long as they obey considered to be the basic moral laws then we respect them and and we them and there are I said last week I believe that I would love to have them sit next to in ganaden bezas next to someone who is not Jewish who saved Jews during World War II right their place in ganeden in my mind I would like to see it and I'd like to share it so this is but this is very important because unfortunately unfortunately many Jews fall into a trap of feeling that because God is with us and we have a special relationship that means we are automatically Superior to everybody else automatically Superior and you know you can steal for non-jews you can do this from non-jews you can treat non-jews differently now yes there are different laws Vis A V non-jews and Jews but rakov ketki I told you this would greet the mailman every day when I told the story to someone this week he said and I was my family was close to rakov kinety so I'm sharing this with you someone said that he said that it's a story whether it's true or not that a nun was present at his funeral and when someone said to the nun why are you here at theun funeral she said because when I walk through the streets so many people curse me uh spit when they see me this man always had a smile and said hello and that's why I'm here at the layia right now that's that and there that's what the kind of face that we should put to the outside world all right so therefore the Torah is balancing says says uh EV Evra the tol is balancing a with is it plays advis to amink oh were they that's a medish the med says that yro and and korak event begin as advisor part but it's not certainly uh am as well certainly certain right certainly certainly the medish says that but the text does not so I'm I'm trying to stick close to the text and see what the rabbis do in terms of dealing with that text all right so have Ezra one visit one conversation when after Matan Tor and this debate about whether he comes before or after actually mirrors another debate and that is Vish ISRO what did he hear what what was it that he came that that caused him to come and the answers that are given if you take a look it's a debate between Rua and the reab yua reua says sh it's just like the Torah says what comes right before his arrival I'm what is say no now if he hears about Matan Torah what does that mean that that he's not there before Matan Torah it's only after montoro that he arrives or or perhaps comes and goes but but the the debate therefore is what did he he what caused him to come was it the victory of Ben Israel Over Am miraculous Victory or was it that he heard about the tremendous event that took place at Hari next so that's the E the ezzar though the ezzar says one visit one conversation happens after Matan Tor the ramban the ramban does not like um does not like um you know that non-chronological he always tries to stick to the text as it unfolds so what does ran say says the following I'm actually going to the like the four Fifth Line K according to the ran the leaves when Moshe says you're welcome to go come comes back after Matan and the conversations unfold as they unfold in the text in other words there's a conversation before Mator where mosha Renu learns from y's advice and then says okay you can go home now and there's a second conversation when Y is after Matan Tor now the problem with the ramban of course is the absence of any indication in the text that isra is taking these trips right in other words and he just suddenly appears why does the Torah say that yes specifically that he brought saora and the two children and they had to be in T So how do you explain that all right the answer to that is that that it could be according to those who say he comes after manant Tor that seora and his children did not that doesn't make sense all right well uh well you're taking a side in the debate that's fine all right right right right right Ro we we Wells correct he his well he may have wanted it but see the other the other mystery and I didn't bring this into the text is it yro comes and brings the family and it says in the Torah you have it after she was sent away where when was she sent away that also is no there's no indication we said we said a possibility was that that she left after M's life was threatened and she saved him through the briso but one way or the other she goes she is not there for for the and and yamu it would seem right okay so you're taking one side in the debate and and you're bringing good evidence but others say otherwise okay the bra now according to the bravel also I want to stay by the shot are you on page on page three four four page four the second paragraph page four the second paragraph ranel says he comes be very simple he comes before Matan Tor which is the first year of Ben isel's sojourn or stay at Mahari he stays for the it says two years that's wrong he stays for a year and a half because they they're not there for two full years he stays through the entire pageant through the entire event which means according to ranel that when Mo mosha said you can go home he said what no I'm going to stay and he stays and that's why he's there after Matan to because he never left that's another possibility okay this far not all right so so those are among those are among the different possibilities as to the the chronology and the timing of his visit to harini is it before is it after is it both is it a variety of different opinions next question does he stay all right does he stay after Moshe begs him to stay Torah doesn't tell us so once again as would expect there are a variety of different opinions I've just just brought a sampling of them he says I'm going to go back and he gives an interesting reason he says shal because I'm an old man and I can't I going to a new place I won't be able to to manage I won't be able to to survive to thrive in a new climate in a new place you hear this this sound familiar all right okay a lot we're going to see sounds familiar all right this is basically the sno is saying that like we know people we know other it's been difficult sometimes for us and others don't come because of the difficulties correct so this is one one thing that's possible ISRO is going back and according to the swo he's going back we he he's old and he can't change his ways now what happens vov look at the bottom the the again he doesn't address the fact that that statement is before Matan Torah but one way or the other he basically says I'm I'm going to go back I I'm I'm not going to stay and what happens is he goes back but according to the Sno his children remain all right and that's why later in Jewish history you'll find the children of Isel involved with Ben yes is there something that says why he go why he why he didn't why they didn't go with him the children go go back with him there's no discussion there's assumption is he's bringing the family for a reunion with Moshe and they're going to stay with their father in other words they're going to stay there this SRE says that he doesn't go all right and look at what they this the SRE look at the thing the arguments that he raises all right I'm not I'm going back why because I've got land I've got a house I've got a family I'm a very important person in my community right what am I going to be when I come to I'm going to go with you it doesn't it doesn't make sense right the cfre is a medish but the medish is again trying to explain the and saying that he's offering very valid reasons as to why he won't come as many do today about Aliah right don't want to leave I'll tell you on a very personal level Aliyah has not always been easy for me because when I was in Englewood I was the rabbi and and it I had a position and I had a and there were 800 families that were dependent upon my advice at times etc etc don't have that anymore and the the transition is not always easy and that's what he's saying he's saying the transition is not easy the transition is not easy and I don't want to make that transition I want to go back I want to be big big big person in my community I'm a diione I'm a judge I'm not saying that's the medish another Med he says the following and it's similar it's similar in a way to what the first medis says the first statement which isar all right I'm looking at the second underlined section second paragraph second underlined section what does he say he says a candle only benefits people in the darkness a candle will not benefit people or even be noticed when the light comes from the Sun and the Moon now what is he saying he's saying Moshe you're the sun yahushua is the moon I will be any I won't be able to make a huge contribution which I could make going back to my community and therefore I'm going to go back and in the second in the last underlined section of the ramban he offers a series of potential reasons as to why he won't go back and again they're somewhat familiar but in this case he basically says that I I'm necessary back there I'm necessary back there and not only that he says people have given things to me that they expect me to return Pon uh certain loans of of certain items and I have to go back I got to finish my business I got to I got to do that all right also another possibility he that this was a famine year and the people were basically going to be uh depend on him and depend on certain things that they gave to him which he was supposed to give back and it's going to be a if he doesn't go back and take care of his business so he's got to go back all right and finally if you take a look at the ramban the ramban we already said okay the ramban already said that yro came and went and the second occasion according to the ramban and I didn't tell you this when we said the talked about the ramban the ramban says he stayed period that he stayed and was convinced by mosha to remain okay so these are among the opinions that are offered to our questions but what's the biggest question and don't look at the last page please what's what's the biggest question if too late the biggest question is what okay that's a very important question but and and that also is debated is does yro become a g does he convert does he become part of the Jewish people left left for us to determine but what's the biggest question the biggest question is why does the Torah leave all this mysterious why isn't it giving us the information we need to be able to say okay we know when he came we know when he left or didn't leave we know he stayed why is the Torah giving us this story in partial terms and leaving us to try to struggle and all of those trying to struggle with the questions of the text so what when the Torah omits things when the Torah doesn't tell us things very often we learn as much from the omissions as we learn from the inclusions so here what is the Torah leaving out so I the answer I think now you can turn to that page if you haven't all right this is page number six page number six right if you take a look at the second bullet on the top we'll begin with the distinction between seeing and hearing it says vishma Isel right and B Israel over and over again what is the the verb that is used to describe their experience V they saw now in biblical text according to kazal seeing and hearing are very different experien seeing means you're there you witness it it's powerful and it it you just see it as it unfolds hearing is different hearing is quieter hearing is more distant but hearing also has the benefit that you have the ability to comprehend to study it's not that powerful lightning thunder Etc hearing means I hear and I I'm going to contemplate is what do we say here o Israel right because we don't see God directly we here we we're we're supposed to pick up the hints of kesh's involvement with the word world and presence in the world but we don't have the benefit of seeing all right so the the Israelites saw what happened at siai ISRO hears or or or ISRO experiences Sinai but he hears about am and and all the other things that happen now up to that point now let's go to a medish the gorra which is a very very powerful medish I've studied this with you in other years maybe I don't think this year the medis changes the whole experience at Hari in a very very powerful way the medish says the following kaig and again this is in the gar it's in the tomwood god uprooted the mountain held it over the heads of the Israel ites and said all right it's your choice accept the Torah and you'll live or I'm going to drop the mountain on your heads all right now why would the rabbi say that that's totally antithetical it would seem to everything we're told happens at sin nishma we're accepting of our own free will why does it to what what are the rabbis trying to say that it that that reflects the Jewish people for eternity what that god holds the mountain overhead that if we say Berlin is Jerusalem uh okay interesting that's have possibility all right for the% intermarriage right okay all right so what you're suggesting is that that the scene of God the um holding over the mountain over our heads is sort of a sign for the generation ations to come that if we obey God then we're going to survive as a nation and if we don't we won't all right good point that's a good possibility yesy you accept the Torah it will protect you like interesting not and you don't then you world will be destroyed all right interesting same same idea just a little bit further that you said the mountain over the head is a symbol of protection and dropping the mountain is when we leave and and we're not going to have God's protection and we're going to we're going to assimilate into an outside world yes I think that gamar is addressing the issue of how could have people have free will in Zas and isma when they have witnessed so many miracles okay this is a very different approach and this is the approach that I would posit as well do the Israelites really have free will at harena no picture it you're standing at the bottom of Haren and there's Thunder and there's lightning and there's God speaking and the sound of the chauffeur and God says are you going to accept the Torah what are you going to say no right you're going to say no you're not going to say no there is coercion of circumstance at Hari what sorry I'll get you I'll get you all right so and and and the truth I think of why that that that this is really what the rabbis are saying is they continue to say there comes a point in our history where we accept the Torah of our own free will where that which we ac accepted hold on a second that which we accept accepted under stress and under force of circumstance we will accept of our own free will when is that time porm porm why now why porm because PM is a turning point in Jewish history porm is the beginning of the non-prophetic era in the National History of the Jewish people God is now going to be silent he's not going to tell us what to do and we have to determine from the events around us what we should do and what it means Etc that's why puim is the antidote or or the response to the duress of sin and therefore kazal say at the time of har God held the mountain over their head forced them through circumstance to accept the Torah there comes a point in Jewish history where morai and Esther go through a narrative that that could could conceivably be explained as a series of fortuitous coincidences and what do they say no it's God's hand in history and the people accept it Kim right which mirrors also the language Kimu viu they they obey they did what they were supposed to do and they accepted is nishma it's a different nishma at a different point at a different point of history and the rabbis are being very very honest here they're basically saying you can't say that the Israelites really had Free Will and that's one way to interpret this medish and personally that's that's the approach that that I like because I believe it's very honest and I believe it really mirrors the facts and it explains why they say purm is the antidote all right now because of that I'd like to suggest why the Torah leaves isro's experience hanging yro is potentially the only individual in the story other than Mosa's family who might not have seen all the things that everybody else saw right it's possible again he did it's possible he didn't see Mator it's possible he did but he's he is potentially the one person at matanto who is what most like us and the Torah says because he's like you and because he may not have experienced the coercion that everyone else is experiencing we don't know what he decides it's left hanging because the truth is that all of us really there's no given right we all have to work to accept we have to work to believe we have to work to obey the mitzvot it's and there's no guarantee and there's no guarantee for our children unfortunately you know would be great if we could guarantee that every child who grows up in an orthodox home will remain Orthodox and and and observant but the fact is there's no guarantee right and therefore the Torah wants to project that one individual and the Torah wants to leave the details out because the details are uncertain the details are uncertain and therefore the Torah tells us about yro but doesn't tell us when he comes doesn't tell us if he stays doesn't tell us if he converts because the Torah wants to leave all that blank now fill in the blanks fill in the blanks yes are building the he had to go down to see it for himself right correct a very good point right was on a very high level byma if you say he had to see well he didn't see the see the maros he heard about them and look at the level of a that he was able to reach by that is what we're saying that is what we're saying we're saying that potentially if Yos chooses to stay and is Miser and converts then look at look at someone like us who didn't experience all of those pressures and has to choose and has to choose and he's a symbol of of people in our communities across the ages who are in the place where they have to make choices now having said that let's assume for a moment that yro converts if he converts there's another message here and that is how we're supposed to deal with conversion and what we're supposed to feel about converts and I'm going to start by throwing out the question how do we feel about conversion in Jewish thought uh is it something that we welcome or something that we don't we discourage why do we discourage it's not necessary thank you because it's not necessary in other words we have to understand that the discourage the initial discouragement of con conv verion is not because we don't want converts it's because we want them to understand that they don't have to do this they can be righteous they can be we the only religion that basically says you don't have to be like us to earn Heaven you don't have to think like us in order to be saved we're a religion that basically says we have our Traditions you have yours as long as you obey as long as your Traditions are not idolatrous as long as Etc then you don't have to do this okay so so that's why we don't encourage conversion because we're basically saying you don't have to do this now next how do we discourage a convert what's the initial discouragement that we say do we say yeah go ahead we you point out the the difficulties in Jewish history the tragedies being Jewish and say you really want to join a people that has been okay very good very good the first thing we say to the convert is not you can't eat at McDonald's anymore or or or you can't you whatever it might be the first thing we say to the convert is are you aware that the Jewish people are A persecuted people across the ages that we are and the is very specific we've been pushed we've been shoved tell them the whole thing and only if they say a in spite of that this will be an honor for me to become a part of the Jewish people only then after they accept that you begin to teach them the the mitz vote which basically indicates a very important thing and that is Judaism is not just a religion right Judaism is a and to become Jewish you must first be willing to be part of the nation before you can begin to accept its laws but isn't Judaism a way of life Judaism is a way of life sure sure sure a way of absolutely but it's also a national identity of course all right and and you have to be and I'm I'm going to tell you a story about this in a little while that that brings this home to brought it home to me very very clearly and will bring home to all of us what I'm sorry oh interesting okay they would want them to be attracted by the wealth of shos okay all right so so understand understand that the first now that the first step the convert has to take is the convert has to say I want to be part of your people I want to be part of your nation not mitzvot yet that comes after that commitment and in a sense in a way that mirrors the journey that we take at the beginning of our national history before you arrive at Sinai you have to be willing to throw your lot in with that people going out into the Wilderness you have to be willing to say I'm going to follow this man that I don't really know because he's promising things that are worthwhile and and we want I want to accept them it's only after we leave Egypt and go into that desert to the unknown that we can then receive the Torah and begin to be a nation so the conversion mirrors are steps and I'll go even further the rabbis say that the rich rituals that are present at conversion do you know where they come from they come from what we did at har according to kazal the rituals that are that comprise a conversions transition are the very same rituals and things that we did at har what are they Brisa for a man circum decision for a man right immersion the Torah says they washed their garments and the rabbis say whenever the Torah tells you they wash their garments it means they also immersed and cabal Torah and acceptance of the Torah at Hari which means that you and I are descendants of converts we're all the same that to become Jewish we had to convert with no I'm saying I'm saying at harini there was a national conversion and other words every individual at harini who who is accepting the Torah in a sense is converting from their previous life to Judaism so the women immersed and the men the the men immersed as well the maner as well all right at least according to the tradition it doesn't say it in the text outright but that's our understanding and what what what the rabbis are saying is that therefore converts should be welcome once they convert and this is a serious issue because I was very involved with issues of conversion in the states and very often converts who were gay redic were perfect not perfect but wonderful converts would say that we have trouble breaking into the Jewish Community we have trouble you know if there are a young woman I have trouble finding someone who's willing to marry me and and I'll tell you a story I'll tell you two stories actually I'll tell you they are both experiences that I had in the conversion process probably tell you three all right let's start with one the first story is I I was working with a a Jew a wonderful girl who had been sexually assaulted on the college campus and when that happened she dropped all her religion and she said eventually you know I want to be religious I'm going to study various religions and I'll pick one and she picked Judaism all right so can't have someone better than that if that's what that's how you she starts right she I worked with her and I worked with her and over the course of the time that I worked with her she met a Jewish fellow who came from a non-observant family when the parents of the fellow heard that he was possibly going to marry a convert they were up in arms they were up in arms and to make the story The Circle complete that family was from Anglewood New Jersey before I became the rabbi in Anglewood so in other words I had no idea that I was ever going to be connected to Anglewood and I called up this family and I called up the rabbi who was there at the time who ended up being the rabbi amerus during my time and whatever so it brought the whole circle around eventually they accepted it and they they married we were present at the WB it was a very strange wedding for us because it was like in a country club and everyone looked like looked like the kennedies but but somehow and they they raised leaders in the Jewish Community they raised leaders in the Jewish community so I and and that family had to accept and and they did okay that's the first story Second Story doesn't end as well Second Story is I was working with another young lady for conversion and something didn't feel right and I couldn't put my finger on it I couldn't I could not understand what it was that was bothering me she was don't on one second she was learning all the things I wanted her to learn she was accepting the mitzvot until one night I get a phone call and she says to me the following I just saw a show on television about the showah about Holocaust I could never be a part of a Nation the world could do that to yeah I I don't remember many conversations verbatim but I remember that statement word for word I could never be a part of a Nation kazal were brilliant kazal said what's the first step to conversion you have to be part of of a war a nation the world can do that to she didn't say I can't can't be part of a world that could do it to the nation right she basically said I don't want to be the victim and Kaz were brilliant and then and this showed me their Brilliance because here was a young lady who ostensibly was going to convert but didn't want to be part of the Jewish people there's a lot more to talk about about conversion especially in the states it it's gone through some major changes and maybe someday we'll we'll discuss it as well but the message that I want to to bring home is that righteous converts are welcome in our community and should be welcomed to our community and every day you state that you know why you state it there a in the that says all right right we want to be like Sim like the gay redc those who convert for the right reasons and are righteous they're people we look up to and in a sense we should okay that's that's it for now