Realistic Expectations - R. Shmuel Silber - TorahAnytime.com

how often does it happen that there's a lack of shalom bias between a couple because a husband has unrealistic expectations of a wife right the husband expects my wife is gonna she has to wear multiple hats right she's got a she's maybe a great mother a great wife maybe just has a career or whatever it is and and also i want dinner or also the house has to look a certain way but i don't want to pay for help i don't need for help is is that a realistic expectation of a human being or or a wife or a wife feels that my husband should know how i'm feeling without me having to tell him well unless your husband's a navi he doesn't have that skill set is that a realistic expectation that the metric of love is that your husband should know what you're thinking even if you're not clear what you're thinking or even if you don't know what you're thinking or even if you haven't thought it yet but he should know what i'm going to think even before i think it i don't realize the expectations or we get upset at our children they get upset at our children because their children don't behave the way we want them to behave or they don't do what what we want them to do and we forget what we were like at their age and we forget that maybe our own kids are 10 times more responsible than we were when they were their age or even if they're not the kids kids do stupid things kids say stupid things kids don't always act in the most responsible fashion sometimes a parent has to let a child be a child they can be a parent also so you have to let a child be a child but how much friction is created and how many times with our leaders how many times do we hold principles and teachers and rabbanim to a level that they can't reach to an expectation i you should have called me then you should have been here for that you should have gone this you should have done that fantastic you know what any communal leader will tell you i wish there were three of me if there are three of me then maybe i could accomplish everything i wanted to accomplish but there's only one there's only one so there's a limit to what could be done there's a limit to what could be accomplished but we have unrealistic expectations of each other and because of that we often create so much friction and hurt and animosity you