Farbrengen Gimmel Tammuz , Rabbi Shmuel Lew - 5785

We are at with special permission to record for the voice notes just a vertim and a story which I believe is probably the first time I'm saying it in public and we were at the oil today and personally I'd like to just mention [Music] Amen. That this Fangian, my part of the FBI is dedicated to that person and uh subsequently Moses Shapiro will continue the FBI. I told a story. I I was in school and I asked the class ask questions. It was toim and one of the about 18 years old. See there's a girl she said why do I need a reba now you understand the question was not trying she it's really sincerely trying to seek implicit in that question is I do everything I'm supposed to do I have But why do I need a reb? What does that add? So in order to answer it, I began with a stories that happened and then I gave an explanation. I want to share it now. The story was a year or two before I came to London for three or four years. And Rabbi Sudakalam Ashak told me this story. There was a woman from the Kaf community in Stamford Hill, North London. who had a major medical problem with not a very good prognosis according to the doctors and Kabad just came you know idea of lab house as in there and but so Rabbi Sudak told this person write to the and she did and she got an answer got a braha and miraculously The illness disappeared, evaporated. Her rabbi was a very sincere European, very big, respectful, eventually extremely close to Labavage. He had big respect, but he had a major question on the advice to send a letter overseas that takes four days to get there, four days to get back. He said there's a rashi in the Kush. There's a story that Haga and Yeshmo were in the wilderness and Yeshua became very sick and they both ded. And it says there and Hashem listened to the voice to the to the prayers of that sick boy. And you check from here you know that or something like that better stronger more effective is the prayer of the person who's ill than somebody else who ds for them. So why do you give her advice to send a letter overseas and ask someone else to pray when tell her to dab a bit stronger herself? Somehow or another that question reached the rebba either from this case or from a different case. But the Reb addressed that question in in a letter and the Reb said the idea of coming to a sadic for a braha is not an innovation it's not a kush of kabat which is just 200 years old nor is it a innovation of kis the generalidic movement which is 300 years old itself 250 whatever ever it was the Gomorrah. The Gomorrah of almost 2,000 years ago says if there's a sick person in your home, go to the go to the for you. So it's not something someone says kabat has now come to England and you come with a new mic. It's something which goes back thousands of years. But the Reb said it answers why it's not aasha but it raises the question that there's a seems to be a contradiction between the gum and baba which says go to the for you and the rashi in in in wherever who who says that better the of the sick person than somebody else. And the Reb said the answer to that question to that contradiction is that a Reb is not somebody else. A Reb is an allincclusive soul which contains within him all the generation. The wordb is an acronym is and means the head. The head is the brain. The head is the central nervous system which controls what happens in the body. It doesn't replace the body. If you want to go somewhere, you have to get up on your feet and you have to walk there. The brain can't walk there. The feet take the brain where it wants to go. And if you want to give someone something, the brain can't give. You need the limbs of the body. On the other hand, you might be very fit and athletic and doing all your jogging and exercises and everything else. But if something happens in the brain the connection a person could become partially or more than that paralyzed even though that the all the whole limbs of the body remain strong because it's through the central nervous system which runs what's happening and another is every person's the med says there are Five names to the explains says it's not just five names, five synonyms. It's five levels of the nish relates to and to emotions and to analytic understanding is and is the connecting with the upper worlds with Hashem and the clown world just like there's the marshall of the with the G there's the marshall of the nishama of all of Israel is like one big configuration, one and the Reb represents of Israel. And through a connection to the Reb, you are able to access one's own that's in your own. It's true that it accesses your own. So when you say why do I need a and you can point to thousands and thousands of I just saw a letter in the kudish this week the writes somebody who doesn't know about so it means that doesn't expected them previous generations he writes why when you know about why it's necessary to connect so those people are 100% But I promise you that if they had a connection to the Reb, they would be able to access a much deeper reservoir within their own people operate at a a fraction of capacity and the way to get into in other words why do I need a you can say he has an obligation you can say it's it's such a a kadic alien you know there's so much you can say to say why it's good but talking about the benefit to yourself because through that you will come closer to your own inner self then I asked this I said does that answer your question and she said yes I said but the question might come back again a few months later don't be afraid the the same questions always come up in a person's mind who's sincere here and what it means is that your is telling you go deeper into that same uh understanding of what it means. So it's gimmel it's a day which is and writes the many many times the days which follow especially until shabas the coming shabas there's a whole week here to connect and to connect deeper and deeper to the and through that you bring a a deeper connection to your own inner self. Now I want to tell you the story. I don't know why I never really publicized it because it happened 27 years ago on I tried to go I was there many many other the first years when I came to Kabad through that was 10 years I was here in New York and I went but in the subsequent years when I was already on uh I was but I came for all the 10th anniversary besides and oil and so this was I think it was it was and I was I was shabbrangi somewhere in Europe and then Monday if I remember correctly I was in my the school to be there at the beginning of the day and I made a a a a uh a reserva a uh an airline with a seat and I checked in over the phone as much as you could in those days and I was and I timed it that I should be able to leave the school and take the underground the subway in England to get to the airport on time. I got on the train which is going to Heathro. It's a 1 hour and 5 minutes, 28 stops. And about 15 minutes before the airport, they suddenly said, "We changed our mind somehow. This train is going to stop over here and you have to wait till the next train if you're going to the airport." And the wait was about 15 minutes. As a result of which I lost my seat, I didn't lose the flight. I came there, it was British Airways. They said, "Sorry, we, you know, you didn't come. It's already it's 45 minutes now. An hour before we gave it to someone else." I said, "Find me a different seat." And they did. They found me a seat which was actually better because it was three seats together. I had an aisle. And then just before the plane took off, there was a major ruckus, a major fight. There was a lady that the person in front of her was trying to move their seat back to see if it works. And this woman is screaming, "You're not going to be doing that when when this plane is flying. You're taking my room." And the flight attendants got all, you know, all nervous. And they went over and they told this lady who was screaming, "We got another place for you." And they put her on the other aisle just two seats away from me. So I I was talking with her, you know, trying to see to and I asked if I if she was Jewish and she says my parents were butman she actually actively joined a different religion at a young age as a girl because there's that it's not relevant. At that moment when she told me this, I remembered a inch of it was one month after when the launched at that time my it was a it was a Thursday night there was going to be hundreds of people the whole night and I thought it's going to be a one It was actually one of the longest I ever had. But one of the things that told me it was before I became the principal 6 months after that. Then my work was traveling to campuses around the country having shim in London universities one Monday this place Tuesday that place different days and there was no kabat on campus and there was no really kabat houses. That's so my work was dealing with and the told me that when of compasses when you go he told me in when you go on campus you're going to meet female students of the universities who keep nothing and I want you to speak with them about lighting a candle for tonight. But you must make a condition with them that it has to happen before the before sunset. And if they missed the week, better not to light that week than to go in. And the said an interesting I mean there's a question. If they don't keep anything, how can he be sure they won't do this? He didn't say the question. He probably just said they will keep the condition not because they're because they're observant but because they are honest and since they're undertaking a special custom with a certain condition they will keep the he's twice he mentioned that and then here's this woman telling me that since she's 11, 12, whatever it was, she's identifying with a different religion. So I told her about the I said it was this great saddic and she's very interesting and he told me that I'm going to meet you. When was this? I said 25 years ago, whatever, however many years it was. He told me he was a very holy person and he said that I should speak to you about lighting a candle on Friday and I explained to her the whole idea and she said she would do it. [Music] So um I said and I I take your contact details and I will buy you a candlestick and I'll get someone to give you candles. Where do you live? She said she lives in Greenwich, Connecticut. And uh she said, "I have cand religious objects shop in Greenwich." So she said, "I have plenty of candles." I said, "I said I want to get that I'm giving you since we're we have the agreement." And we shared details. We spoke was friendly. We we keep in touch. At the end of the flight, just before we got off, she said, "I just found out. You know who's in first class? You know who's on this plane? I said, "Who?" She says, "Nelson Mandela is on the plane with us." So I said, "There's somebody bigger than him on this plane." And she said, "Who's that?" I said, "God Almighty, Hashem. He's on the plane." And way do you see it? I said, "You know something? I actually was not supposed to be in this seat. My train and the last minute stopped and therefore I was delayed and I lost my seat and they gave me this seat. And you know something, you weren't meant to be in that seat. So, Hashem orchestrated that we should meet together. It was in order that you should be lighting the candle like the Reb told me all those years before. very uh moved by this party. I went straight I took a taxi from the airport to the oil. It was packed. It was many many nothing like today, but it was really full. He couldn't move around. It was less organized in a sense. And there I bumped into a a Baltua from England. is not from England but he studied in England. We met there had a few years kesher. He's now married with children of a young man and he there was another young lady there with him and he said this is his cousin or his wife's cousin a girl her name is Reena and I said okay nice to meet you will she what do you do are you in seminary? She said, "I finished seminary and I was looking for a to help and I got a a position with the Kabad of Greenwich, Connecticut." I said, "Wow." I told her the whole story which I told you and I gave her uh the details of this woman and this girl every Friday used to go with a freshly baked kala and with a candle and meet her the lady went to a sedan pes various things you know I spoke to the lady from England and she screamed at me you know don't don't make me into your project or something and uh whatever But uh there was a a followup. That's not why I'm telling you the whole story. The whole story I'm telling you is that a week or two later, I got an email from the girl. The girl post and she said, "I want to tell you the story behind the story. I finished semin useful where I'm needed and I looked for a place and I took this place. I was there for a few months and I felt that somehow or another I was not really fulfilling myself. Maybe I could do something somewhere else. Maybe that's not really where I'm supposed to be. And it's I went into the oil and I said to the deba I'm there. I want to be where you want me to be. Give me a sign if the if that's really a place where I can achieve something. And I walk out and five minutes later I meet you with this whole story with the thing. And she felt the answer. So the reason I'm saying it is the said take your request your question I know many many stories with either personally or people that I met that had such uh situations and I've been thinking about just lately that story I want to share with everybody that maybe so often that we should connect with it and it's a good practice because very soon is going to be very soon and it'll help then also because the the his connection to the Reb can be according to the way the wants at every given moment. It's not like a membership. Okay, you're in. You're in every single day. But you can renew it and you can deepen it and you can make it into something more than it was before at every given moment. We have the ability to be able to do that. So we should see and the seconds or whatever that we that we're waiting it should be in a way that we connect to whatever because through that you connect to your own inner self and your own purpose and you get not just a partial or majority fulfillment of your potential but you can get the full potential. square. Uh yeah, I did it. So, it's a few hours later and we're still at the Hashem. A lot of people have spoken. Um I was asked to say a few words. I want to say what is his kashus? What's the way to his cautious and I want to suggest three kim three lines number one the said to me when I was a ber under the age of 21 just before my birthday that the cautious is if you learn what I learned and that means today and it means having a teachings how much everybody has needs a mashp to to help guide them exactly what's the right amount but it should be regular something you take a you take something from theic heritage if you need whatever it is something to help you learn a sika and learn it twice three times four times 10 times I I was asked to give to speak to him in London of dimema Garcia Masha in English like by Harris Sadulski group of about less than 10 people probably mostly South Africans and I we spoke and do we spoke about the ma at the end I asked him what are you going to learn next he said they said this is the sixth time we made a on it and we're learning it they go deeper into it each time. So it it's it's gained you learn the ma try to understand it the second time you'll understand it a bit the third time try to see if it can talk to you about something etc etc till you get it. The second thing is getting the Reb said to um to Rabbi Shapsi Katz in Ptoria many years ago that a personal favor to me is to help another Eid. It's it's a profound idea because why are you in the world? You look at the prepare yourself on this world or you go to to have great spiritual experiences [Music] and to to to be able to develop your own perfection as a person. And obviously these are all you have to say it and there's a medish that says that and it's and especially especially the everything centers around action and obviously you'll get and obviously you'll become a better person and obviously you'll be you'll the but that's what you're going to get is what Hashem is going to get and that's the definition of of is doing something for somebody else because that's what Hashem wants. It's it's fulfilling the purpose that there is in creation. And that's something that everyone can do. You don't have to be living in Zambia or even in Long Beach or in in Sanford Hill. Wherever it is, wherever we are, it's it's uh something that a person can do. You can do it in your business or you can do it in your in your interaction with people. You can do it um you can do it just by having an open house. And if you're not that way, you meet the people and you some people give a certain two three hours mapped out every week on their in their calendar. This is the time I'm I dedicate they're not available then and they're doing they're they're like they may be a balab running a business but there's a certain time that they have a specific time whatever. So I want to tell you a story that with me. It was in Tshin Iintest. It was six and a half years ago on a Sunday in South London. There's a a area called Wimbledon. It's known for tennis games and things, but there's a very very active kabad there. And they were having a kuga sabayas. And I went I went I don't drive and I didn't I figured the time I'm gonna ask somebody to find out who's going from North London. It's take an hour over an hour an hour and a half. I went with the underground at the subway. On the way back it's about 4 5:00 in the afternoon and I get on to there's two trains on both platform. It's the last stop there and I wanted to get to Victoria station. So, I take the train near Stanford Hill and I get on the train. It's a Sunday, quiet. There's one man there. And I ask him, "Where uh which train goes to Victoria?" He says, "The one across the platform, not this one. This one's going somewhere else." Starts the same. I said, "Okay, I'm about to go off the train." He says I said you I didn't I thought he was an Englishman. Turns out he's an Israeli. I said have you put on fillin today? He said kabad. I said yes. I didn't have chillin with me unfortunately. But I spoke to him about it. I unfortunately unfortunately didn't take his number or anything. And the whistle starts blowing on the other train. And I ran across to the platform. And I said to myself, you are not how do you get out? Go with the train. Who cares if it's going to to to Scotland? You know, meanwhile, let him How do you let him go without taking number that on the most practical level, I could have taken the train one or two or three stops and talked with him. No one else was in that whole car in that carriage and I felt really bad and I went to Rabbi Dubo who's the shik in Wimbledon. I said what can I do to find this guy? He said it's David Cohen is the shak for campus. This man told me he's a student studying there are a lot of colleges in Wimbledon for studying English as a second language ESN ESL. So I offered500 pounds if he finds me the guy donation. Anyway, I get some he found different people but I don't know if he ever found that person but I made a made that I was going to that Thursday. uh that Thursday to give a talk in forat and I'm on that plane. I'm going to find the Jew get some get still chilling on with at least one person. So I come onto the plane. I'm sitting here then there's an empty seat and then there's some a man sitting by the window. He's an Israeli. I say to him, he said, "Later," about a half hour later, I said, "Maybe you put on film." He said, I said, "It's getting it's getting dark. You got to do it." So, he did it sitting down. And it turns out that he lives in London from a what we think of as a secular family. and um he's married but not he's married in like publicly there in England and I said do you belong to any synagogue? No. Do you ever go? No, that's not, you know, it's not. But we're talking on the flight and at some stage he said, "That's what it says in Shàu which was I said, "What do you know about Shabu? You don't even belong to a synagogue." He said, "I don't belong to a synagogue, but I'm spiritual." I said, "You're spiritual. You have to own your own pair of trillin your own personal pair not just put on once in a while and didn't argue when we changed we exchanged details I looked around for a fillin bank to to get to be able to buy him a pillin he was also gone for five days we both to Israel came back and then from then on till every Friday we're in touch and Um he bought his own he I got him put him in touch with snare glintenstein who's for Israelis and uh he paid £500 that was then about £700 a pair of fillin and uh he started putting on fillin and uh he went to sh forious at that stage eventually during the lockdown we spoke how could he can increase. He got divorced. His wife was also coming to the Kabad house. But then that was it's something separate. But since then he's remarried and he's today he davs he goes to Davin 7:00 every morning minion. He's he's uh I spoke to him last Friday a week ago nine days ago. He says don't forget Gimmel Thomas is coming up and and he's like in touch with everything. He didn't shave spir and and and uh he pushed for lab and working to be of other people to a lot of stages in between. He went on business trips to to RIA. He worked for security systems and and he was in Las Vegas. He was in Florida with in each place I put him. That was the early years. But um tonight is the 30th of and would say how many hundreds of other people could you have done the same thing with and you didn't do don't be so happy what you did. So I'm sharing it. I'm sharing it knowing. But how easy in a sense when you meet a person to speak to them about a mitzvah and if you see the and you and you work on it little by little. I thought I'm doing it as one of the things you cannot do for is because you don't know who you stole from. I would I didn't know who I missed putting on filming with on that train. But one of the sigulas they say is to is to like people they sponsor park benches they sponsor projects for. So anyway that's the second line. Line number one is learning. Lie number two is because that is part of when you do something for another Jew you are implicitly almost explicitly you're saying I don't only care about my own I care about the what Hashem wants that my is based not on my this real love is not when you're sitting around with the person you love all the time. It it's love but it's also has a lot of self-interest in it. But when you're doing something for them somewhere else says doing something for someone else that's called a real ae. And the third thing is and for many people it's the most difficult of all that I deal with high school students very difficult thing for many young people and also for many old people. Difference is the old people think they don't need it. The young ones know they need it but they just don't want to do it. And that's to get yourself a mashia and to talk with that mashia. And the said I heard recently the himself had a mashp. pointed someone not really I think I mean the notab that's my own interpretation because my zman jaffi asked the rebbber whether his who is his son Jaffy who's a very young man in Manchester he asked the rebba can I use him as my when the rebb is talking about say can I take my son and just told him it's can't get someone else but uh uh to to appoint someone and to get in touch with them you you should call them up wait make up I just want to call you once a month or once a week uh preferably just for a minute and misman issue comes up. You have someone to talk with and it it it's it's it's a it's a benefit to bring out your own innermost self, but at the same time, it's also a tremendous tremendous way to connect to your own inner self and it's a tremendous way to connect to the so that we should take steps to connect with all the story. We're still out of and people asked tonight is it's not just I met his great grandson tonight after at 7:70 and he said that he was there by when he was Nostalik it was he woke up that morning and they used to it was hard for him. They used to say to him Tanya used to say to him Tanya the Shia Tanya Tanya Dining and then he dav they were ding with him and then he went to sleep and you know that he went by the rebal once he's very if you look at a picture of a menal he's always looking on the pictures in the reb's presence very uh serious ious, very intent. There's one where there's a semi smile. I have that I I have like somebody gave me that picture a young man in London uh of a mandal he's getting a dollar and he's smiling semi smile not a whole smile. What happened was he came by the it's on a tape and said you are named after and I'm named after or maybe said himself and then he said it's a connect it's a sign that we have a connection together and you know whatever You can look interpret you want. I didn't come here tonight to speakal not but mental said when you go to you should prepare beforehand what you're going to say and when you get there say something different. It's a very big insight into life generally being always being prepared always having being and then being able to adjust the to the kay to the specific situation that you're facing. So I'm just random going to tell two or three things that I heard from there was he lived in London obviously after uh he came out of Russia test of that year the first time and he was there until beginning of or end of B maybe and he was very much learned with people you'll see many people said he had he had anybody not young didn't speak Yiddish that well he he and he also teamed up with people on he was very much into and I had the to go with him maybe besides going on the tank it wasn't called a tank then this was in the late and we called it it was called a caravan there he had something which was uh like anticipating the thanks and I also went with him on Sundays when I didn't have school to uh the chronic disease hospital in Tottenham down about a half a mile from Stanford Hill a mile down and the conversation the patter with mendle just when you were walking so I'll just tell you a couple of things that he said it was right after the six day war within a year And he said, "What is the message of the six- day war in Ava?" And he and his answer was he said, "What happened in the six- day war is that the Egyptians got frightened. Israel had control over the skies. They ran away from the tanks and the Israelis got into the Egyptian tanks and turned them around against them." So he said the six day is as a good cup is a good tank. If you have a good head and you have great talents and and and faculties, it means you have a good tank. But the question is which way is it pointing? It it should be shooting in the right direction. Should be it's in other words, it's not the abilities that you have, it's the direction that you that you use it. Another thing um to me on a personal level the biggest um the most meaningful fabion that I had. I had a few that I went with him on a train different times when I I was ill and he was he was the one that was accompanying me carrying my bags. uh but with a different time he used to go to gates head every year and he had people who supported his inolin and he visit he gave a sha and then when when there was a lot of tension with you know there there was there were different things happening but he always had obviously a man like that it was always a ba somebody going with him accompanying him but one year I was near in the house I used to vish sometimes in that house by Rebe and um this was approximately it was in the early MEMS and um I think it was he went in but that year it was August there was still camp there was nobody around to go with him and so I phon to my wife who this vibranian is also you know And um she said look men gave me to go with him. So it was a fivehour train ride going there and five hours coming back was in the middle of the night. The train left about midnight. I mean about 5:00 in the morning. I'll tell you at least one vote from the way there and one from the way back. I heard things then that I never heard before. On the way there, first of all, we passed a a brick factory. I didn't know. He said, "That's a brick factory." I said, "How do you know?" He says because I once worked at in in a big factory with Yanko Gorkov, but he told he was telling me about what happened in Siberia and that they had to get up at 6:00 in the morning and they would walk to the work site. They were actually cutting trees. It was for lumber for Russia. They were providing uh trees. They would walk for 3 hours and then they would work for 6 hours or something and then they would walk back. It was it was dark in the winter. The the way there from 6:00 to 9 and coming back was dark. So he had a problem with fillain. How to put on fillain. They were leaving. It was hours before Natala and then he didn't have to be working the whole time. So what did he do? He said he had friends, not Jewish people who were there who were who had a very big admiration, a reverence and appreciation of what Raendel was and they would make a little but as they were all marching together they would make a circle around him like they would they would be blocking him. He had like like a anyway in the basic he had some what entourage yeah they had these these people around him covering him so he wouldn't be noticed by the gods and he would very quickly put on the I don't know if anything more and take him off but he said it was so cold that one morning he put on fill in. So, this was probably about 7 8:00 when the when the sun rose. He put on the and the it was so cold that the leather strap snapped. So, I said, "You didn't have children anymore." And he was trying to describe to me how he fixed it. And I I couldn't get my head around it that he took a napkin from the British rail napkins there that they have with the with the Coca-Cola with the coffee and he and he made he actually made a uh he cut it out to show he made like an arrow on one and he made a little slit on on the other end and he put it together and it became a rur again for the next day. Uh that was one of the stories which I didn't say I think now I've told it to people who writing this forum and he must have told it to somebody else. Um, another thing was on the way back somehow, I don't know how it happened, but I was telling him about my first visit to Russia with Nelson Vogel, Bobby Vogel. This was at night about 11:30, 12 before the train left. Then we were both dreling on the train. Um and I told him about the balu in Russia, you know, there was we talk communities that not all were kabad. They all had some connection. They started maybe with kabad. It was something like everywhere else in the world in a sense. You can see I saw them as different groups and to me this was Asian and this is this is you know you could tell what this what style they would have been if they were in the west and he told me that he was in oh I forgot the town um he was in one of the what maybe I don't he was in a town where there was a bait mitzvah one one day you know Monday Thursday they had bait mitzvah in the week like a minute and it was like a rarity the first time in years and years and the gaba of that shul was about 90 years old very and he said told me that this guy said to menal Um, he said, "I'm living on the round ones," meaning on pills. I'm living I'm I'm I'm living on pills. That's what he said. And that really impacted that question. What's where's the future? And then he said he he heard all about all the vulturas there by the by by the thousands. There was then at this time by by in the in the mems and uh the said that the that put in in Russia you know that that that was there and another story of a menal I'll tell you one other one just connected to gimlas Yes. told me I think it was on a purim came we we went on to we came back and we I remember we told me it was in our house at that time that he heard a story from maybe it was Aba was somebody his was his very very close friend but it was a very close friend who was actually in the second world war in the army and said he told me a story that he witnessed as just an interesting thing and he said and I realized sometimes somebody tells you something and you realize that they don't themselves see the depth of the whole you know all the different ramifications of that story and the story was that there were a group of Russian soldiers and they came under attack from the Germans And it was a very very deadly attack. They went like flies like like many many were killed until they finally escaped or they overcame whatever it was. They wound up with a a far lesser number of soldiers in their group. And the officer like was trying to an officer there was trying to gather them together. You need leadership. You see what happened just now in Israel when in where they they forgot the leaders because people get confused. You don't know where to go and what to do. It's it's not rag tag. So he said um this man he said okay everybody line up and get get together. And he he got all the soldiers organized. Whatever was left, if this was 50, 100, whatever it was, he got them all lined up and ready to listen to orders. But one of the soldiers said, "Can you tell me how do we know that you are authentic? How do we know that you're supposed to be you're doing what you're supposed to be doing?" So he said, "Come to the front." The man came to the front and this general, this officer shot him in the head right on the spot, killed him. This is what Aba was saying. He said was in order because he if he didn't he felt if he didn't get them organized together, he didn't get them organized together then they were lost all of them. He was doing this as and this would have this would have gone against every single thing that he was trying to do was to keep them organized. It would have disorganized them given doubts and and and aimlessness to all the people. But said, "Why is this guy is that a is that a a capital offense?" That he asked he he said to him, "How do I know that you are that you are authorized to do what you're doing?" He says, "A person who doesn't recognize that that the isb, he's forfeiting everything. He's forfeiting his own." He said that's what he saw in the story that somebody says how do I know I start right when you start meaning you know person it's something which is there and you're supposed to know it so we should recognize and it should be at the end of the day it sometimes it says that but that was say someone mentioned before from Zambia that that it you have to be ready to surrender a Yiddish guy. So that explains the minor we understand means to do what you have to do to help a person or to to move tables sometime whatever it is. means sometimes you you're learning Torah or your your whole is not exactly on the rama it's not exactly on the level that it would have been otherwise but you're doing it in order to fit and to and to be able to adjust to be able to help somebody else to find this place that's called but at the end of the day is the famous story which I heard from the Reb it's a very well-known story when after a heavy night that said oh you know like uh something to the effect of I don't I don't want to say any wrong but you know he's something like is it all worth it or you know what is what what how difficult how much sacrifice It was he said this to his the was he had there a shafer bookshelf with many many forum of things that he wrote and uh so this the asked the mar asked would you have had all this if not for that and his father You're right. So in other words, sometimes you surrender it's things in the missing. I remember he came to 770 once uh he had been to a conference on that Friday morning that told me. So when he came Friday just before there was for in the in the corridor upstairs and he told me afterwards he said people come to the he says uh they hear that's for sure when you meet friends that's also something he said to me I can answer I have no minion where I am and for me just to answer is already like so but at the end of the day you don't lose out even itself becomes enhanced and and deepened and and and empowered