Shira Smiles- Yom Kipper Shiur, September 30, 2025

Well, >> you can't hear me. >> Oh, do you want to hear me? >> Yes, of course. That's why you're here. >> Oh, I didn't realize that. Is this better? >> Oh, much better. Okay, let's get this out of the way. Kasimova, my friends, welcome to another edition of Life on Planet Earth. Each year with SIA Desmaya, we try to choose we is the royal way. Um, a different one of the al to focus in on. And again, you can look back in the archives at nala.com, na or yutora.org. And the last 10 years, you will see uh many different uh ones. I've had a suggestion to put it into a book after this book I'm working on. I'm so traumatized I don't know when the next one's coming out. Um or when this one is either. Um this year we're we're going to look at something similar to last year but very different. The goal of the Shir today, as is the goal of each of these preumper shears, is that we shouldn't think that this al is very narrow, but really every al is encompasses our entire lives and what we're about and and we sometimes just go through stop. So, let's take a look this year at an alan ro. So, I I heard that there's a new arts girl with a more maybe I don't need to write a book um greater in depth on voy. But if I take a look at my local uh Voy pamphlet, you know what I'm talking about for art scroll. So I I use that trusted pamphlet and it tells me uh we have been frivolous. We have given way to frivvality. We have not I'm in source two. We have not thought seriously about our responsibilities. Whoa. Before I go any further, that's saying what a lot. We have not treated the synagogue and study hall with proper respect. Kos Ro as we'll talk about today literally means lightadedness. you know, we'll talk about it. Then there's another um voying murish in source one. He says, "When I do a mitzvah, I acted in a uh without without the severity that and the um focus that I needed. I've made light of my mind in my head that I've allowed the physical aspects of self to override the the mind and we'll talk more about this and he says every person where they're at and then again he mentions about talking in sh let's talk about talking in sh first let's not talk insh Let's talk about not talking in sh that's more precise very briefly because it it's the shar states source three that when a person talks in the synagogue during is the repetition of the well the is repeating it's such a grave transgression that a mino his sin is too great to bear Now watch this. Nowhere else in the does this harsh expression appear even in regard to the gravest of sins. So we think it's a big deal. You know what he's singing away. It's you know a little bit draggy schmoo with my friend stuff. And he brings here that we know that the uh toosv has a very famous mishra for those not talking in chul. And he notes that perhaps this was the reason for the massacre of the crusades in what we call titat 1648 1649 for talking in shul. What is not as well known is that this is also said to some degree by the Holocaust. And that is why the communities per se were not affected because have you ever see a sardis shul a do how they face the middle and they sing dimera out loud. They have a different what's the word I want to use awe aura sense kaduca of the of the base kness that we should we should we should emulate now I can't tell you why any calamity happens I'm not I I don't have shoulders I just quote everything I do is quote except when I make up my own ideas but you would know that I just stick them in this was not my own idea um and as as Solomon said notes in source four one One of the reasons is you've taken away the power of the Besse. If the shul is the place where we can call out to Hashem in a time of challenge, you what word am I looking for? You've um reduced is is a word, but I'm looking for something else. You counter that effect, but there's a better word. >> Yeah, you've diminished that effect. I'm still looking for a word. Um because when it was time to turn to Hashem, you were what? You were la and now you want to turn to when you need him, you turn to him. So, and I would add as soon as you walk into Shul there's no reason to talk to anyone but >> I heard something that really made such an impression many years ago and he said if you were in court and your lawyer was defending your case would you sit in >> right if your lawyer was defending your case Rab Cron mentioned would Would you would you uh be sitting in schmoozling? No, you would. So, this is particularly important on Young Kipper when the shul is extraordinarily long, bring a book. If you feel like you're somebody who can't follow the Kaza, I didn't mean a novel. Was that understood? like uh Rabbi Burkowitz's book uh you know a new guide to Russian Kipper bring a a safer I should say that bring a safer maybe more pronounce I could just be quoted here and then someone turns me off she said bring a book you know this is a good novel so I I have to be careful what I'm saying but you are you following but don't talk now less somebody be sitting here and sitting back and saying doesn't apply to me I don't talk and or I don't go is shul. So it definitely doesn't apply to me. So I'm going to share with you something that's going to burst your little bubble and that's source number five. Something I met again preparing for the cipher recently. Source five when we're talking about you're in front of the that's what the shul is. You're in front of the it's inappropriate to talk. So say anytime you're in front of the the divine presence it's inappropriate to speak the the time of the is the time of and the time of the is not just to the kala it's us too right oh that's us we want to hear the kala we want to the the the the the the redemption. And he says it is inappropriate and there is an Indian to a stand by the not for today. You should be smoothing during the villainous ro and to act in this ro way. You know how people just chitter chatter by and stop it finished. That's that's long gone. You're in the presence of the it's going on forever. You have a karpa. You take with you. You know who the carbas are. You know your crowd. Take along this. You know we all have. I think most of us have. Even I have. That's already saying something. a um a simka purse. Do you know what I'm talking about? In your simka purse, have a what? >> Have a have felos. So you feel like it's going to be a long you're in front of the do what? And he says, same language. One who talks during the of the similar language to the punishment is great. Hashem is benching you right now and you're sitting and talking. Okay. So that was idea number one. It's every I can be I can be intense today. Yeah. One day a year. Okay. Every week. Okay. I know that. Um but every every week we're in front of Hashem. Does it make any difference? So it's the idea of when you're in front of the act accordingly without kus. I think that's pretty clear. Good. Let's talk about um what what does kados ro mean? I want to look at a few understandings of it or really one that we want to develop and then I want to talk about how we can work on not having colorless roast because just to talk about a problem without making suggestions is very limited. So there is a wonderful little safer called vidi by rabbi yasikone. I don't even know if it's available in stores um where he goes through the voy and he says in source 7 kos ro means lightadedness levity irreverence the lightheaded individual I'm in source 7 just goes wherever the fancy takes him now although as with pirasol the urge act just act free and easy can grip any of us at any times there are certain times that we really have to be careful about our lightadedness because it can lead to inappropriate conduct and losing focus on the kaduca hamakum kazal employing the arrow the term kov ro as the antithesis of kalus ro the garra sites the puk serve hashem in awe as a source that one should pray ro which literally means with a heavy head now what is this about you will have covered for your head when you realize its value and importance if you lack cover for your head that makes you lightheaded. What does this mean? The head is the mishkana. It's where our our nishama lies. It's the holiest part of us. It has to rule the other avarim the other limbs. I'm in the bracket and it must be treated as such. Kos ro means treating our heads lightly and behaving in a light frivolous inappropriate manner. The ro is where nama dwells. We give respect. was to put put our shama in control and here's the example that he gives and I think this is where it's at the n the shama must be in the driver's seat and the goof in the passenger seat so let's give an example rul I'm going to pick on you ra has a neighbor who has a 10-year-old grandson and the 10-year-old grandson goes over to Raul and says um I you don't own a car do you own a car okay We'll use the example says, "Um, I like your car. Can I go in a ride with in it?" And you say, "Sure. You know when it's good for you and I'll take you on a ride." No, no, no. That's not what I meant. I meant can I drive your car and you'll be the passenger. What will Russell answer? Anyone would give her the him the key to the car? 10-year-old. Anyone here? Not one person here. I've been watching for 10 years. summer drive. I I I I'm I'm I got it down. Pat, why wouldn't you give him the car? >> Irresponsible. >> Say it. You're what? >> It's irresponsible. >> It's against the law. >> I forget laws already. You know, we'll be at 2 in the morning. >> But why is it against the law? We're we're Okay. Because it's irresponsible. What will this 10-year-old do? Oh, this sounds like a nice pedal. Oh. Oh, break. Where's the brake? They have no control. You know the firms say you can never drive a car if the brakes aren't working. >> And it's not just about the brakes in our car. If we don't have self-control, we are a walking liability. >> What? >> Liability. Liability. Co RO as opposed to color ro means that my SA is running the show. I'm in control of what I see, what I hear, what I eat, what I wear, what I do, what I say. I don't know what I'm missing. Whatever it is, I'm in control of that, too. You know, I'll say I don't know why I'm adding this in parenthesis. It's a wonderful thing to be a public speaker because it really trains you to think before you speak. I can't tell you how many times you in my mind I'm saying I see who's sitting in front of me. I can't say that. It gives you that sense of you need to be in the driver's seat. And this is what revelopion speaks about in source number eight. We say if my ru is going to be above any control of my body then I'm in good shape. Likewise the shalom in nine we speak about inos we'll be saying it over y. If the nama belongs to Hashem and the gof the body is just his handiwork but we're really not in control of it then you have to have a lot of us. But if we're able to have the and the belonging to Hashem, then we're able to bring in and the squiggly ro manifests in preventing the head from being the a person isn't in his own driving seat but flits about hither and maintains in preventing the head um as a type has controlled them. And this is the difference my friends. We know this the ores brings in 10 that the rashim are in the grips of their heartb. [Music] But the sadic is able to control his heart. Vasim Danil alipo who is running the show. So my friends when we say the the al of kos ro we now have a little bit of a deeper understanding we have to ask ourselves instead of just flying to the next one. What is the main motus up around in my life? Is it whatever I feel like? Is it my heart? Is it my desires? or is it my mind? Do I have that level of self-control? So now we've brought in this colorless rose. You know, originally when I when I when I would I read colorless rose, I think about those uh kids, those teenagers that sit outside of the bench at 3 in the morning drinking. Do you know what I'm talking about? That's Carlos Rose. Whoa. It doesn't apply to me. I'm in bed or I try to be in bed if they don't wake me up. No, color source is much deeper than that. It's it's an approach to life. And here the raisita harak brings in source number 11 he quotes here who said that he was once staying in vna across the street from a university and he noticed how people would prepare themselves to enter into their classes. The girls are priming and priming theirelves and doing their hair and their makeup. And he says, "You can just imagine when they're sitting in class, the boys and girls are all what chatting is a nice way of putting it, but your your English you're proper." Um, and he says, "I'll tell you great doctors and and professors come from it." And that indeed is wisdom from the nations who believe. But Torah al there's no kaduca in such a place. Torah has to be in an environment of kaduca and and even to see something inappropriate is the antithesis of what of a tower lifestyle. And he notes in 13 the Mishna says I'm in the arrow in 13 ro a person can only dav with this seriousness we'll talk about this at the end of love it means that I have the ability to focus and and and daving is also of just a metaphor for my life in terms of being an evident on the asterisk. Our our minds can bring us to the highest of places, to the holiest of places, but it can also bring us down to the lowest of places. And here's the punchline of 14. He says, Ro a ro is not just you know a a one of the of of the aosra. It is the root of undermining. It leads you in the opposite direction of Torah. this type of behavior, it's going to habituate a person to be acting in an inappropriate way because we all know this. When you when when you just have loose language, when when just you feel like you're letting go, then what happens? You're opening yourself up for am I making any sense today? and every person where they're at. It's not one measurement. For every person, they know when they've crossed the line of I've lost that. I'm going to use this word self-decency and self-respect. This is it inappropriate for me. for someone else it might be fine but I don't talk this way I don't walk this way I don't act this way I've lost the sense of respect and so now this is indeed one of the brahas that we say every day promotion if you don't have it if you have seven copies so then you get an eighth to share over sukus you go to somebody's house this is a great present I finished my sales pitch In this wonderful safer called the rise and aspire there's a braha called zok kafu which is about being able to bring up straight those who are bent and um what does that mean on a deeper level? The ability to stand straight 15 signifies this structure signifies our capacity to control our emotions and desires. Contrast this with an animals whose actions are directed by its instincts and natural propensities. Its head and its organs are on the same level indicating that its sole ambition is physical survival. And where do the heads face? Our heads face up straight and upwards. I have a vision of where I've come from. Animals heads per se face down. And I've always wondered, I don't have my phone on me, thank God. But you watch people walking on the street. And and it just reminds me like you're a human. Could you just pick up your head? The end of 15. A person is created from earth and therefore naturally drawn downward inclined to idleness and apathy. Hashem however has endow was also endowed man with the ability to choose whether or not he submits to that impulse. Man can postpone instant gratification allowing intellect to control desire and make appropriate choices. And that yashawak and that is the idea of being a mel. A mel is king. Thank you. Oh my gosh. Wow. Wow. Wow. A mel is king which stands for the moak the head above our lathe our heart and our carvade our liver our passions. That's our choice. We are benim. Do I allow myself this type of focus? How do we get there? >> Yes, ma'am. >> So, could you take it a step further and say it's not just control over being judgmental? >> For sure. And >> for sure, for sure, for sure, for sure. It's a control over every meter. 100%. And again, I'm going to just um add a nuc to what you said. One generally cannot control unless you really work on yourself. Your immediate knee-jerk response. I see someone doing something, I say, "Oh my gosh, what a hookbah, right?" I do because I'm very judgmental. You do, too. So, we're in the same boat. That I can't or I can't. It's a lifetime of work. What I can then do is to say, "Whoa, >> do you did you see the whole story, Shira?" No. So, how do you know what they did came from? And I don't. So, why are you being so judgmental? I don't know why. Okay. So, reframe it. Okay. >> Well, that's called self-control. >> That's the self-control that I'm able to step back, think, process, and I live my life. And that's what I'm going to get to right now. where I am not always running. >> Yes, ma'am. >> It's also >> we'll come back. >> It's very simple when that happens. It's not so simple. That's my simple sentence because that's what it is. >> Right. Right. to look the in the eye and say, >> "I wanted to tell you older people like myself walk much more with our heads. We're afraid to fall." >> Yes, 100%. That's not what I'm talking about. That's That's prudent. >> That's what >> prudent. It makes sense. Do walk with your heads down so you don't fall. I'm encouraging you to do that, but not with your machines in front of you. >> That That's what I meant. Yeah. You understood what I meant. Yeah. Okay. Good. >> Yeah. >> You know what I'm talking about. Yeah. You know, this is another parenthesis. I see mothers with little kids crossing the street and they're on the phone. I feel like pulling my car over and having a talking with these people. This is what's the right word? >> It is. It's irresponsible. >> It's irresponsible. >> Yeah. And what really hurts me, this is a parenthesis in parentheses. I'm going to get back to the program, is when they're in the store on their phone and their mother, the kid is saying, "Mommy, mommy," >> and they don't even hear them. That breaks my heart. Okay, I said it. This isn't about Maya, you know, like world according to Garp, you know, like um how do we work on color? How do we work on living a life? And again, I don't like to use the word seriousness because that has a certain connotation. I like to use the word being present and being um mindful mindful living a mindful life. That's the co ro. So I'd like to share three ideas. Idea number one is from uh Dr. Jonathan Feiner, a fantastic safer called mindfulness. I highly recommend it. has a little butterfly or caterpillar on the cover. It's green leaves. I don't know. It's very cute. Um he says the following men of 18. By giving ourselves time to be, we can discover what we need to do. The Rams Sharim explains that parro was able to enslave the Jewish people in Egypt and Israel for so many years by keeping them perpetually busy. This prevented them from having time to pause and reflect on the wretched circumstances. Slowing down the autopilot mode enables us to pause and ask what's important. Zamal concludes his chapter on sahos watchfulness with the following. A person must constantly contemplate with his mind and also set aside fixed time to reflect what is the correct path to follow according to the Torah. Afterward, he should contemplate his deeds to see if they're on the correct path or not. in the bracket in 19. Most people heir in one of these areas. Either they're not honest with themselves in clarifying what is correct or they know what is right but do not follow through with it. Setting aside time to clarify values reminds a person what is important to them and helps them bring it into the present moment. We are created for for self-reflection. We have a a group in our choir and there's a woman who does an amazing job of of putting gummy out. This is one from the other day. Practice the pause when in doubt. Pause. When angry, pause. When tired, pause. When stressed, pause. And when you pause, pray. >> So, that's how to get to that. What' you say? >> Very powerful. >> Every time you want to get angry, you want to pause and in that pause pray. >> That is beautiful. >> That is beautiful. Yes, ma'am. >> And also into there needs to be a pause between the >> Yes. >> If you run them together, there's no time. Fill the space. >> 100% filling the space. And dur chauffeur. This is what it's all about. It's about pausing. It's about reflecting. And this is their search to make trua right now my friends. You know some of the swarms say kazal even thought about maybe not even going to work this week because it's such a powerful week. They say the fela of a regular person this week has the power of the gador. It's really a time of closeness to hashem. >> That's why we're here today. >> That's why we're here today in life. >> Oh in learning. But I think it's really important to realize you can't spend your life trying to get other people to pause, >> right? Have to pause yourself. >> Yeah. Don't try to Don't try to impact others. It's about learning. It's about learning to take that time. And I will tell you my friends that I feel and I may be wrong or rarely wrong. No, I I feel that particularly in today's day and age, this is much more challenging. People walk around with these machines that beep all the time. Do any of you know what I'm talking about? They have a WhatsApp and they have a message and I don't know and and people don't have quiet. You know, I tell my students, you get into your car, you don't need to have noise, which means you don't have to turn on a shear. I'm not doing it all the time. Doing it at sometime. You don't have to listen to music and you don't have to talk on the phone. You can just be a and and that's the gift. And as he says here, there's two nikudas. It enables me to have a sense of what are my values, who I am, and am I aligned to those values? Am I living that life? It's not just enough to know, well, I'd like to be at Sadakus. Yeah, that's nice. And and then go on with my life. Well, what are you doing about it? How are you living that life practically? It's a lifetime work. You know, I'll share with you a story. I may have shared this before. It's a very powerful story. It's a story of a um a town being rounded up, a small place, and told in Nazi Germany. your mam, you have till 4:00, take a suitcase of x amount of weight and uh we're rounding you up and we're going on a train. So everyone goes home and starts packing up their valuables and like you know what do you pack up in two hours of of your life? You know what I'm saying? It it shalom you said. And um in this particular home there was a teenage boy named Ara and his father said to him, "Aram uh could you iron my shirt?" He says, "What?" "Yeah, I'd like you to iron my shirt." Okay. He takes out an iron, irons it, gives it to his father, you know, trying to figure out what else to take. I've rubbed their creases. You didn't iron it well enough. This is over the top. Okay. Takes the iron, irons it again. Really nice. Hands it to his father. Ah, much better. His father says, "You may be thinking, have have I lost it?" Like, we're under such a time of of gathering up what's most precious to us. I'll tell you why. I ask you to my certain. None of us know what's going to be and we have to pack what's most valuable. The most valuable thing I can give you is the mitzvah of kibav because that's the promise of the haram of long days. He was the only one to survive his town. To be able to tell your child to do this is a person who's worked on co ro his whole life. Most of us in that situation would be I'm going to use the word frenzy and lose that sense of balance. And we're all tested. Thank God not in those extreme levels, but we're all tested in those moments. And that's why it's a lifetime of work of co rush of knowing how to make those decisions and those calls in in those very challenging times. That's idea one. Set time. And we have two days till young kipper. And you know what? I'll even add here. I have a lot of parenthesis today, but I'll even add here. Women have a braha being in the kitchen. Why? Because, okay, I know we multitask. I know we're on the phone when we cook. I know. I've been there, too. I'm also there. And my kids always say to me, "Ema, who were you talking to when you made this?" >> Yeah. Um, but it also gives us time to think. Washing dishes, peeling potatoes, you know, as unappealing as that may be, it's um it's time and we can utilize that time, you know. Um, I I always taught my kids when you're cutting an onion and it brings tears to your eyes, think about the sorrows of others. Use those tears. Well, second idea because the time is running on me talking about time and talking about never being control of time and always overshooting. Here we go. Source 22. This mission about which is found in source 17 that habituate a person to life centiousness. So here the in 22 brings from the oracle of who says I'm 22 don't act in this way of and the counter is to have the fear of heaven on you. says and this is very intense. How do you counter? This is idea number two. What does mean? I have an accounting and responsibility for everything that I say and do. Nothing exists in a vacuum. I say something, it has a ripple effect. You know, I just had this yesterday. A girl from seminary came over to me with the following question. She said, "You know, now at this time of year, everyone comes over to you say, are you mo are you mo are you mo are you forgive me?" She says, "There are people in the seminary who I was in high school with who really bullied me and I don't forgive them." and I know that I'm going to say, "Sure, yeah, I forgive you, but I don't forgive them. What do I do?" There's accountability and responsibility. You don't know how, you know, you're kidding around, bullying, and you're really hurting somebody that this 18-year-old girl says, "I can't forgive them. They really hurt me." And it's tears in her eyes. And this is months later. You know, sometimes we think we're just joking around even as adults. These are hurtful comments and we don't know the sensitivities of people, you know, just coming to my mind. I don't know why I'm sharing this. Remember self-control. Think it before you speak. not you know just to share a very personal example weem have have two girls two beautiful girls after many many years of of marriage and I remember and and just as an example talking to somebody it was years ago five six years ago who said something about well this person is really busy it's not like they only have two kids Like this is a person who knows me. Could you think before you talk? >> What did you tell that girl? You came with a question. >> Uh such a good question. Revson, do you want to add? >> The only thing that helps if you can't something I think might be that you ask them. >> Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. And that is that is the approach I did take. I did take that approach. Don't punish them and have on them. I said have on them. They're obviously really uh have issues that they need to you know lash out. And we we spoke about it. I also suggested to her I don't know why I'm sharing this. I also suggested to her to instead of just saying you ask what are you asking for? and allow them to take some what? >> Responsibility and ownership of what they've done. >> You think that was too harsh? >> She's looking at me like, "Oh, no." >> Yes, ma'am. >> There's an out similar but not the same at all where a girl says, "I forgave this person, but I'm still very hurt." And they did a little separating the forgiveness from the pain that you still >> interesting forgiveness but separating from the pain you feel >> pain but that can be separate from the person and I also would like to add that once I made a comment to somebody and it was very off the cuff and it was like I'm not a mean person so it wasn't it wasn't meant to be mean and she said to me you know you really hurt me when you said that like it was either that same country right after I remember she gave me the gift of being able to say I'm so sorry. And I think that's something important to learn too. Like I would have never known that. >> You would have never known had she not said you really hurt me and you were able to apologize. Good. Okay, my friend. I I have to move here because that that's why I'm here to move. So, I I apologize because I I'm not I'm not modeling very good today about uh being um being in the in the driver's seat, but do as I say, not as I do, and then we'll all be okay. Um just to take this idea of um of of of accountability. We know source 23 runs mintsburg the foundation of [Music] Hashem knows all of our of our deeds, all of our thoughts. And Hashem has the ability to discern and to uh check and to weigh all of our deeds, all of our mindsets in in order how to deal with us. We have to understand that nothing that we say, do, think is not noticed by the So part of this ability to to work on ourselves of co ro is a little bit more mindfulness of being in the presence of hashem and that he's watching us and and he's present. You know I I had such without being specific here because I've been too personal today. I had this experience error shashana where I was in a situation where what I did wasn't wrong but it wasn't right. There's nothing wrong in what I did but it certainly wasn't >> and I was really upset by it and I was really bothered by it and I and I really I turned to emotional and I said I goofed. I I didn't act my higher self and I felt really really really bad about it and Moz Yantiff uh I don't even know what day is coming into life whatever Moz Yantiff was I was almost in the exact same situation and this time I was able to what >> rise above and this then the person apologized I felt like saying let me hug you you are a Shalia from Shamayim giving me the opportunity to what? >> Repair. >> To repair. And I and I thanked Shalom. You heard my I goofed and I wanted to do it better. And you gave me what? >> He gave me the opportunity. He's there. He's there. And this is like a such a silly nothing silly experience. The um Raoba in Mammare Elo takes this idea of Yur Shamay a little bit different and a little bit deeper. And he says 25. You know what your shine really is? It's very powerful. It's moving away from being alive surrounded by myself entering into the domain of Hashem. Continuing 25, I could do many good deeds. Billy Bo, why am I doing all these good deeds? Because it makes me feel good. But it's not to serve Hashem. I still haven't entered your Hashem. And he notes and we say this in our Daviding. Hashem acquires us in judgment which is a realization. I'm not just living a life about what feels good to me. What you know the way my kids would say it is Bali. You know it comes to me. I'm in the mood. I'm doing this because this is what Don wants from me. I'm living this life with a awareness of Hashem's presence. And this goes back to that safer I've mentioned many times by Daniel Garfinko. I'm doing this because Hashem commanded me. This is why I'm acting in this way. So that my mitzvah are moving out of just about me me to an awareness. Soon shalom. So part of co roast one is time two is reflection that I am in the presence of shalom and if I'm in his presence so then everything I'm doing is for him I I move myself out of the picture and that's why rluger points out my soul desire in 27 sin is from the same root as the wordi as missed the target the general root causes of all sin is that person forgets his true purpose in life and makes his own desires his purpose. The cause of sin is a person forgets the purpose of his creation becomes caught up in in the you know the mundane things of this world abandoning the ultimate goal of revealing that's the primary aspect of repentance is to remember Hashem and establish one distinct goal in life to reveal Hashem's glory a Jew intrinsically bound up with Hashem whose true desire is to do Hashem's will but this innate desire sometime concealed and forgotten about you know what chuva It's truva is returning to that natural state of longing to hashem of our natural direction in life. You know hopefully this is my last personal example for today. I had a medical test in Malaya dumim on Wednesday Thursday. When was uh the fast? >> Thursday. So I'm in Malay. I could say I've been in Malay maybe five times and two of them were to speak for the OU. I I don't hang out in Malay, but if you ever need a medical appointment, there are plenty there because who's going out to Malay. So I go ways takes you in Malay. I find the place no problem. have this medical test and then I go back into my car, put on ways buy it home and it tells me we do not recognize your end point. So I turn off the machine, turn it back on and it tells me again we cannot find that po that end point. Maybe you move. >> We scrambled. >> It's scrambled. That's what happens. And people told me that it happens in Malay. You get scrambled. Okay. So, I had to get out of my layer to me myself. That's okay. I'm here to tell the story. No problem. But I will tell you what I was thinking. Malay is a beautiful place. I was telling you what I was thinking when I was sitting in the car. Hashem, I get it. If I don't know what my end goal is in life and where I am headed, there's no way I can possibly ever get there. >> Rifa, if it's short rifle, what is my life? >> Yes. after >> 100% where where am I headed? Who am I? It was a very profound malay experience. It really was. It was about being clarity of where your home is, who you are. Okay, my friends, we have one final idea for today. We spoke about colors roast being not having the 10-year-old driving the car. Um we spoke about that it's not just a specific it's a whole outlook to life how am I interacting with this world do I just you know do whatever I feel like it whenever I feel like it say do act or is there a level of accountability and responsibility and what I'm doing the pause is is a good word to uh taking time is idea Idea two is being able to recognize that there is accountability and responsibility for everything I say and I do and we're not even aware of the effect it has on others and we have to realize that the salom is definitely watching us and and very much present in our lives it's living that life of your the final idea I'm going to do mostly outside and that is 29 we'll begin the mission perv in says you can't in a state of sadness in a state of laziness and here's a very beautiful piece for freedom that speaks about and have in common is when a person isn't living up to their own personal expectations of self and that leads to sadness and that leads to a certain level of depression when you just feel like I'm not where I should be. And he says that then has an impact on Kalis Ro if I'm not living up to who I know I can be then I let loose like does anything really matter and this is really the assert of everything we're talking about today. The only way I can have co Ro is if I have a self and I'm living a life with a vision and with a purpose and and with and that's why source 33 says the following and I I love this definition ro 33 asterisk ro mid ro is a head filled with spiritual vision and therefore a person lives their life accordingly is a ro is an empty head which means there's nothing really that I'm focused in on life there's nothing driving me therefore whatever comes my way both literally you know it's the people I I see this in shim all the time every time a person looks in this room their heads turn right they can't sit because you can't focus and It's it's it's much larger is that whatever you know comes to my fancy I'm going to what I'm going to do. I don't have I there's nothing holding me down because there's nothing that's focusing me. You know he he brings down here at the end of 35 and I've seen this with my kids. Let's say they're reading Yonosir if any of you know what I'm talking about. They're in a meta book. They're in a Any of you know Yunosir here? A few of you. They're in a in a in a thriller. A thriller. The ones you're not bringing to Shelonium Kipper. Yeah. They're in the thriller. And I say to them, "Could you set the table? Could you please set the table? Could." And then you go over to them and and you go like this. Yeah. You What do you want? I've asked you three times to set the table. Really? I didn't hurt you. And they didn't. Why? Because they're in that zone and focused ro means I live with a spiritual vision and that's to to say with it's not just it means that spirituality fills me that I'm not going hither and dither in life. And I tell my students all the time that Rashi that about boring the Puk says and the pit by didn't have water. Rashi tells us it had what? Snakes and scorpions. And I tell my students the Bali. Nothing exists in a vacuum. If you're not going to have Torah, you're going to have snakes and scorpions. If we're not going to be filled with mitzvah, we're not going to be filled with spirituality, other things are going to fill our lives. Covid ro means what is what are my values in life. The way the kadul muser in 41 this is how you finish this year you just skip speaks about he says when a person just does tora and mitzvah habitually without thinking them he says that person is living obviously doing to mitzvah you get rewarded but you're living in in the in the in the um in the footnote in the asterisk you're living an empty life and he says that's worse for bentora than all the sins because it's preventing you from moving forward. An empty life means I don't have any spiritual goals without any desires and and and and this is a wonderful question to ask ourselves kipper. If we would ask somebody, what are your aspirations? What are your goals? And the person says, well, my aspiration is, give me an aspiration to lose 50 pounds. My aspiration is to I don't know. >> Well, you're holy. You're holy. >> Mount Everest. >> Climb Mount Everest. That was very good to climb Mount Everest. Right. And and again, we're using both of those as metaphors. What's your spiritual goal? >> That's the question we have to ask ourselves. What is the counter of kalus ro? How do we access co ro that I feel a spiritual vision and I'm not only feeling it I'm trying to >> actualize it to live it and that's why in my humble opinion going back to the and then we'll end with the story is no kositzvah has a whole different source on meaning now I'm doing a mitzvah I'm involved in a spiritual rendevu with rebonus alolum how can I not feel this this uh awesomeness you know I'm saying a bra like this so do you feel like you're in front of the rebon shalom that's the bigger question when we say this am I living my life yes I'm doing mitzvah gazillion But I'm doing it with kos ro I'm not doing it without understanding that I'm mamish in front of the stool and it's filling me. There's a story of a of a of a of a boy who be I only know these places as yeshivas but apparently they're on the map. He was in the tells and he was getting married in Slobatka and he went to the rashiva of tells of blah let's sell and said you know I can't ask anybody to actually take me on the train to satka but you know a kassen shouldn't be alone perhaps there's a bakar who will at least escort me to the train station in tells you know and so that so great idea go to the base of medish the first boy that you see who even so much as lifts up their what their head, you know, like just grab them and ask them to go with you. Great. Goes into Bish 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes, half hour, 45 minutes, an hour, an hour and a half, 2 hours. He's looking at his watch and he's saying, "I am going to miss my train." Not one boy moved. He went to a book and he said, That was a great plan until I actually went into the base of Medish and nobody moved. So said to him, "Take that image with you and have that image accompany you to the train station and have that image accompany you into marriage and have that image accompany you into life." And then focus and that connection is really what we need to work on. And that's our avot in this time of assima of coming back to the repon are you filling my whole space do I live a life of co ru co everybody simova