Shira Smiles the Three Weeks Shiur: July 7, 2026

Let's talk about the three weeks. Let's talk about an Indian connected to the three weeks. A story that we all know. I want to try to examine the story. I am not sure you will feel more comfortable with all the elements of the story when you walk out today. And that's quite okay. I have a summer break. You can you can stew it over. It's a story of Kamsa and Baramsa. The Gomorrah says baramsa because of kamsa baramsa the usal was destroyed. The gummor relates how asserted person was friends with kamsa but enemies with barakamsa. On one occasion he made a feast and told his attendant to invite his friend Kamsa. However, the attendant mistakenly invited Barakamsa who thus ended up attending the host's feast. The host was unprepared for his presence and promptly demanded that he leave. Baramsa, desperate to avoid embarrassment, offered to pay for his meal, even covering half the entire feast. However, the host refused all these offers and had him ejected from the feast. Scorned and humiliated. Baramsa went to Rome and falsely reported that the Jewish people were rebelling against Roman authorities and this precipitated the destruction of the second base of Magdas. Now, as Rabbi Bernstein notes, it's a very beautiful safer. It's one of his more recent safers from ruins to redemption. This wasn't the only thing. It's rather an indication of what was going on at the people at that time. And he notes here, it might be fair to say the story of Kamsa Barams not only well known to us were also well-liked. Why? Because the behavior of the individuals who acted wrongly is so distant from our own personalities. We can mourn the loss of the baked mikdash without feeling implicated or indicted. It's about them. Like would we ever throw somebody out of a feast? Of course not. Would we go to the authorities and uh be malicient? Of course not. And so all the protagonists of the story seems to be safe distant away from us which makes us feel okay even though they were unfortunately not okay. Maybe that is a mistake. Maybe the protagonists in the story have more in common with us than we might think. So what we're going to try to do today is examine and again with the mindset of mido modification the different personalities in the story what mido we can learn from them at this that will be the beginning of this year and and the end as well at the same time I want to focus at the end of this year on one particular individual who really doesn't seem to fit into the story and that is Kamsa And this Bernstein's question. It says the says, "Oh, I get it. Baramsa was the problem." But poor Kamsa, he was watching Sunday afternoon football in his home. He wasn't at the party. Why is he what? Implicated here? He didn't do anything wrong. Or did he? And if so, well, what did he do wrong? And that is what we also need to understand. So far, it's clear where we're headed. Again, remind ourselves that this entire year, what has been dedicated Arab and uh should be just a tremendous list for the entire family. Let us begin our study today. Let's talk about the balabus. If anything, I would say it's this anonymous u owner of the party, the not owner, host of the party. Thank you. That's what I was looking for. The host of the party and baramsa who are the problem. So what we learn from the host and clearly he isn't a problem is in source three. How careful you have to be in what you do. You can do one thing which may not be so significant but can create major consequences in the world. And he likens it to planting seeds in the ground. You plant a few apple seeds and what do you have? An entire orchard. Right? And again, we've spoken about this a lot that there are tiny things that you do and you think they're what? Inconsequential. One has no idea of how farreaching the implications of what we do are. Nothing that we do is small. It echoes what we spoke about last week that the entire world from beginning of time until the end of time is is is built on every single action that we do. And no one can say, "Well, what's the big deal?" You know what? So, I got angry. So, I throw a guy out of the house. You've never gotten angry? Tell me. Have you ever got I'm not you, but you know, like it's life. And he says in the arrow, you see here what a little anger, a little impetuousness which uh has caused all these great problems. Had he only been able to had he only been able to say, "You know what? I don't really want you at my party, but just sit in the corner and be quiet and you're okay. Had he been able to do that, we wouldn't have what was the uh result. And here I think is the punchline at the end of three just as destroyed because of the story of Likewise, you can create a a destruction in your own life. >> You had a question? >> I was going to say, I don't know if we're up to this, but I wanted to comment on um the reason um the other guy watching the football game was at fault also. >> But we're not there yet. >> Oh, you're not? That's the last level. >> Okay, >> so touchdowns to yet to come. >> Here we go. Um, so that's develop. Am I getting him off the hook? No. Did he act appropriately? No. And at the same time, my goal for today is just to see what lessons we can learn for our lives. And the lesson is a person shouldn't think, oh, it's something so small or even something a little bit bigger than small. What's the big deal? And the answer is every single thing we do is a big deal. And and that's how we have to understand. We can't walk around life with this attitude of, oh, who cares? you know, it it it it it makes a difference and and it has implications and um you know, I I just saw this now on this uh never ending book that is never ending that will end one day. The the problem why the book has gotten hung up, not that you really care, but I'm going to share anyway, is that I insisted on putting tilos in the back of the book. Aila for a mother for a ken or brisma or felos at the back of the book a file to bring if your child is getting married and your parent isn't alive at the kev to bring an invitation like it's like 20 felos that I felt was impactful there's a point to the story so I had my daughter type up these felos which was ours then my husband and said, "But nobody can read it because there's no vocalization." So, good old AI. He put it through AI and voila, you have vowels. Then we looked at it again and found a lot of mistakes and we had to redo it like it could be a zillion things. Okay, we spent hours redoing it. Okay, we're up to the final version. He sends it to me. Are you giving the final stamp? Then we can go ahead. So I send it to my editor who was sitting Shiva when he gave it to me originally. And she said, Shira, there are over 25 mistakes in how do you read it? I said, who cares? She said to me, "Sheir, do you remember you gave a shir on Sunday about how small things make a difference?" Well, yes. Small vocalizations change a word. My husband spent 5 hours last night >> redoing it again. He said, "Do you want to look it over?" I said, >> "No, >> absolutely not." Don't you love the behind the scenes? You know how they have like the bloopers at the end of a you see the behind the scenes. So when where you get this book appreciate every dot every has been weighed carefully. >> That's why you need it here too because your own eye doesn't see >> your eye doesn't see it anymore. That's that's what happened. That's what happened. Oh my gosh. Okay. The point being is, and we know this with email, you put the dot in the wrong place, you put the wrong address, it's sent to the wrong person. And that's the point of the small details in life. And we can't just be flippant about it. Okay. Yes, ma'am. Very aside, my I sourced a book on grammar and the title of the book was eats shoots and leaves. >> Eat what was it? >> Eats shoots and leaves. >> Eat shoot and leaves. >> Eat and leaves. And it had a picture of a panda on the cover. >> Yeah. >> So the implication how that changes where where you put the comma changes the whole thing. >> Uhhuh. So the picture of panda on the cover where you put the comma changes the whole thing. What's the name of the book? >> Eats and leaves >> plural. E A T Sav. >> I'll write them for you after >> eats, shoots, and leaves. I'm sure this was very uh >> it had nothing to do with >> my Right. Okay. Thank you, Risky, for sharing. Not source five. >> Yes, ma'am. >> I think that we learned the cancer son was our cancer. What am I? You're not there. I'm not there yet. >> You're back on the council. Both of you are on my council here. I'm still not there. You're jumping the gun. Is that the shoot part? >> Source number five. Let's talk about You're correct. We're to get there. You are correct, but I'm not there yet. Source number five, let's talk about Baramsa. That's also a no-brainer. Should anyone act like Baramsa? No. Again, I'm talking about me modification. What we can learn for ourselves? What can we learn about for what we learn from the message for us is everything that happens from Hashem is orchestrated from above. If you would be able to appreciate that this person albeit has accountability and responsibility don't get me wrong at the same time they are just a shaly from Hashem and this is what Hashem felt that this person needed in their own growth and development as a person. So then instead of going and tail tattletailing he would look inward and say how can I become a better person how can I change he would have just gone and run and this is paying attention on every detail that happens in your life. When you pay attention that everything happens in your life is the reason from Hashem and Hashem is orchestrating this for you, it just shifts one's focus. And he quotes here avore this is like one of those you put in your pocket. 6A 6A top left of the page. Yeah. He says the following. We say to Hillm first in the bracket in 6A. Hashem knows the ways of the righteous and the ways of the wicked will be destroyed. That's classic understanding. Here's we know that anytime the word is used, it means intimate knowledge. It means closeness. Here's Koda Hashem. That is sadikim. What is the way of sadikim? They know Hashem. They're connected to Hashem. And that anything that happens, they immediately say what? This is the way the rebon wanted it to happen. Malo whatever happens it's coming from the rebal however the who aren't able to do this they are they give up it's not worth it let me just throw in the towel I can't believe this happened right so this is the difference and when one has the ability to connect everything to Hashem then one is able to bring down a tremendous amount of Chef Abraa and as Rabbi Burkowitz points out in the six cuts of mitzvah a must readad and a moonafilled outlook on life is essential not only for understanding history for understand everything in our lives once you realize the purpose of this world and your purpose as a player in it is to attain perfection you begin to notice Hashem's hand in your life and you begin to view troublesome events as challenges that will help you grow you don't take the good for granted you realize Hashem is giving you tools to advance and it boosts your muna. And if you don't understand something, recognize that you're still in the middle of the story. And once again, I have to add a personal uh tidbit to this. I don't have to add I am going to add a personal tidbit. Again, I teach it Sunday mornings in in Roman the same year. And um and it's great when Hashem just has the material right here for you to learn. I come home from the shear and I met with an email. I had sent over a few hundred books to America for my trip at the beginning of August and told the publisher I am going to be in on the following date and I need the books there by then to sell them. When I get home, I see an email the books are coming 3 weeks after I leave. So generally I would say oh a lot of things I won't say them publicly I'm being uh taped here now I said thank you this was such directed from you there is a larger picture here I don't get but I accept everything with love >> because it's out of my hands You know it's you know I don't get it. I don't get most things in my life. Okay. I want to add one more thing about baram. So the first is to live in a munafilled outlook of life. It just gives you so much more tranquility and and uh because you realize particularly people like myself who like to be in control that that's an illusion. We're never in control. Three Bono Shalolum will know exactly when those books are coming. That doesn't mean I'm a happy camper, but there's nothing I can do about it. The other thing we learn for our lives, because again, I'm focused on our lives. And this is Muser in source nine. Source nine, I flipped the page, the asterisk. What was what was the thing that drove Baramsa to be mousin? It was all in a front to his honor. We have to know that this is how we are wired. it can make a person crazy if their honor is in any level affected. You know the perfect example of this and it happens to be the s of the votes the end letters in that it's auding down at his feet like whatever he wants is at the at his fingertips. one Jew doesn't bow down to him and he says what >> it's worth nothing. Yeah. Because that is the mindset of a person's honor. And he notes in 11. With most other typos, there reaches a statute of limitation. That's it. Right? So, if you have any chocolate holics here, you know, there's a certain amount of chocolate you can eat. I'm an ice cream holic. But after two ice creams, you say what? >> Enough. It was really after one, it was enough. But to leave that alone, there's a limit. Not by cavode. By covet there is no limit. By covet there is no limit. People are thirsty for honor. And that's how we're wired. And beloveds I'm doing this outside now in 12 and 13 says why are we honored that way? Not for us to pursue honor rather for us to be able to someone finish my sentence. >> Very good. To give honor to others. very good to be able to show honor to others and that is me modification. What do we need to work on? That every single person I meet is created in the image of God and needs to be treated as one who is created in the image of God >> and also to give honor to >> obviously to give honor to Hashem. For sure. For sure. And that's why Raul speaks about you don't have in the in the Torah of honor except for parents or rebi a spouse because it's so individual how you really show honor to somebody. Every person is where they're holding and at the same time be attuned to what you you think that this person will need from you to build them up to make them feel good to give them that that positive feeling. Okay. So that my friends is the host. I got the right word. The host is teaching us how a small action makes a big difference. Don't underestimate anything that we do and its implications. >> But you know, it's so interesting because we I don't know where it comes from, but I know it's true that um if if someone embarrasses you and you hold back and you don't retaliate, you can you have the ability to give people property. >> That's true. If you are, let me just repeat it. If you are embarrassed publicly and you don't respond, it's an eight rut stone and you have the power of braha, >> right? So, so imagine how different, of course, hashem runs the world, but imagine how different the world would have been if he had that meter modification and he was able to hold back. >> Wow. >> And >> can you imagine what the world would be different if our kamsa would have taken that moment and blessed the people instead? Maybe there would have been a haban. I love it. I think that's great. Thank you for sharing. Okay, my friends, let's get to the the part that we'll you'll sit with in an uncomfortable way which I began with and that's so we've spoken about the host. We've spoken about baramsa everything's from Hashem. The honor of a person is is very delicate. Now let's talk about a third group before we get to Kamsa and that is >> the rabbis. >> What is going on with those rabbis, right? H how do we understand that? So again, we have to understand that we don't we weren't there at the story. We're just reading the story from Baramsa's perspective. It could very well have been that it wasn't in front of everybody, but rather in his mind, he looked at it as he was publicly shamed. Yeah. Which, you know, like sometimes something happens to you and you say, "Oh my gosh, everyone was watching and everyone saw what happened. Could you imagine they did that to me?" And you look at them and you say, "What are you talking about? you. No one else what >> even registered it or saw it. With this backdrop in mind, let's appreciated 14 when he says, "Why didn't they prevent it when they had the ability to? So, let's argue that it wasn't a lot. It it was it was done, you know, more quietly than it would seem. And um technically, you know, you're the host. You have a right to what? >> To have whoever you want. And and and you know, that's so there was nothing really wrong here. At the same time there was nothing really >> right here. And he says and this is the point I want to learn. He says there's a fifth fifth in and that is if you wouldn't want this done to you so you don't have it done to somebody else. You know, I was reading uh recently a ma where the came out with whatever situation it was. It's it's not relevant for for our purposes where the came out was saying something. So the raani were like, "Hello, it's not written anywhere that you have to act this way. Tell me where it's written." Pulls open his kapata and he says, "Right here. It's written on my heart. this is what I feel is what >> is the right thing. And there is that aspect of you know just to bring our para in for a second we have in our para in para m that the um Jews go out and fight mijah and they kept the women aliveu gets angry and says what did you do and they said but hello you didn't tell us to what to to kill the women and moenu answers smile's language and that is duh uh like I don't need to have what told you it's obvious they were the ones that caused the problem. So like hello and this is what we have to understand in life you know you can't only go by the books where does it say and in this respect the rabbis are faulted because the rabbis should have realized that it may not be written black on white it may have been written black on white and even if it wasn't so if it was a public uh desecration so obviously they're implicated and faulted for doing that No doubt the for today is even if it wasn't even if it was done more privately they're still folded because a person has to live with a certain sense of of seel means even if it's not written black and white you in it and you understand that this is not appropriate. Yeah. >> Yes. That is only in private everybody >> right 100%. So we're not saying here I agree with you that the problem was they didn't give him rebuke. The problem was they should have just said to the balabas you know what just calm down a little bit. We'll talk about it later. You know sometimes you can just diffuse a situation without giving rebuke. And um and that's what they needed to have done. Now, I want to get to what I think is even a more um even a stronger message. Rabbi Bernstein, source 18, I flipped the page. It emerges that Barcamsa's trip to Rome. To slander the Jewish people was not an act of spite against the hosts who shamed him, but against the rabbis who seemingly approved of him being disgraced. Indeed, a slanderous message to Rome with its attendant consequences would hardly be a meaningful act of vengeance against the host, but it would be against the rabbitic establishment. So, we see here now that there's a lot more going on here. If he was really angry at the host that he should have what done something that would have hurt the host, what really got him uh going were the rabbis more so than the host. Which then leads us to the question, is there some historical background about Barcamsa that we are missing? And uh why did the rabbis keep silent while Barcelo is being treated this way? To be publicly humiliated is excrucially excruci such an act that was happening right in front of them. So he said, you need some background. At the time of Bayeni, there were numerous sects that had broken off from traditional Judaism. There were the Essenes, who were religious zealots and there were the Sadducees who were looking to pursue the more materialistic and hedonistic lifestyle of the prevailing far culture while at the same time pre preserving some form of manageable relationship with Torah. It is entirely possible that Baramsta belonged to the second type of group. The very fact that he saw the rabbis as his antagonist and Moros was prepared to bring about destruction of Ba Mikdash in order to spite them indicates that he was no friend of theirs or of the Bates of Mikdash. Moreover, perhaps it's this very reason the rabbis were silent. We can certainly assume the rabbis would not normally remain silent such a horrific act. However, perhaps this is not a normal situation. The person being shamed was ideologically objectable. His views and approach to life were antithetical to Torah truths and ideal. Simply put, he was not one of us. And perhaps he was even deserving of such a treatment. And so there was no love lost when Barcelo was thrown at the house. But maybe there should have been. Even if our camps of views, this is the key, and lifestyles were not acceptable, the garra informs us the approach of invalidating his dignity was unjustified. Hashem took up the quasan, the front of his honor. For whatever type of Jew he was, and he was clearly not the best type, he was still a Jew. And protecting his honor should have remained a Jewish concern. >> And and I agree with you. And this is the problem. >> I agree with you. I I'm on the same page as you. >> I I didn't I begin by saying this will be uncomfortable. I did. I warned you. For warned is for armed. Listen to this next piece of the mesh. I found it to be so impactful. I'm going to do it outside in 20B. >> 20B. Same page right hand side. The we know that there are two parts of the fillin. There's a tillin of the head and fillin of the hand. Both of the tilins have the same parios in them. There are four parios. The difference between the head fillain and the hand fillin is the following. The head fillain is in four separate compartments and the hand fillin is all found in one compartment. Okay? So if you didn't know this, I don't know why you would know this, but now you know this. What does this mean philosophically? The head is the way Hashem views us on our level of righteousness and being deserving. And there there are different levels. The hand filling by the heart is the way Hashem loves us. And there finish my sentence. >> Only one together. >> We are all together. There's no distinction. You're right. We may be in different levels and Hashem will judge every person where they're holding. That's the head's filling, but the heart's filling every where we are in terms of loving each other. We're all together in this. And he says, "Isn't it interesting that we don't wear we never wear twill, but men don't wear fill and tish above morning. Maybe it needs time to what? to learn this lesson >> cuz that's is it in the small sheet? >> Yes. What I just said is 20B. The entire thing is in 20B. Okay. Now, this explains why Jacobu I flipped the page by Yakov Au. When he gives the braha, this is of Yakov Keinski. When he gives the braha to the 12 tribes, he doesn't do it individually. We have a lot of teachers sitting in this group. So when you have uh you give out report cards, you pull each kid in, you sit down with them individually and you what? You smoo with them. This is your report card. This is You don't do it publicly. Here Jacobu is blessing them publicly. Why? Cuz he wants the brothers to know that each one is unique and different and to appreciate the differences. You know it's a beautiful idea. This is not in the source sheet. This I'm adding. It's a beautiful idea. The gum says that in the future the end of says in the future that sadik are going to make a m a dance around the reon shalom a circle and say you know so and they're able to point this is hashem. So uh why a circle? So the swarms say because a circle is equidistant from the center that every satic is equal to where the shalom is comes along and adds and the gum's language is in a circle. It's a which is a dance. Each sadic is going to be dancing which means that they're going to be standing in the other person's place for them to realize that yes from your perspective this is a votus hashem and it's equal to my perspective. >> Is that a wild idea? >> You wouldn't make out. >> Why? Because when you dance, you're moving around. >> Yeah. >> Beautiful. >> Yeah. >> Then we can connect it to >> because if you connect it, it's all the perspective. >> Yes. 100%. It's all perspective. I agree with you. Should that have been the title? >> Perspective. Okay. Next time I'll rethink titles. >> Interesting. >> Yes. M is forgiveness. Right. I I will say my daughter keeps on saying to me, "Ma, don't promote your book." I said, "Hanah, if you love something, you want to share it." She's not impressed. I have a whole chapter in the book on dancing. Um, by the wedding chapter, it's what is the dancing at the wedding all about? And again, it's that idea of the m that we dance in a circle that we all are around the in a very wad united type of way. Get the book. Get the story. >> Yeah. It says that are forgiven. >> Yes. >> In the land. >> Right. Right. >> Everybody >> everyone's with the are forgiven. Good. Okay. So, let's leave that alone. Okay. My friends, I want to just add one more nuda on this and then we're going to get to counsel because the hour is late. 23 23 is under 22 and there's a 24 which only has a four. The end of the gum of makos talks about the famous story of Rabaka and theim who see that foxes are coming out of the bdas and Rabaka laughs and the cry. So there's a lot of Torah on that. The question that he focuses on in the arch lenire why dava foxes there could be many animals that could be coming out of the basa mdash why why is sumar using foxes so he says I'm doing the bottom left of this next this slide the cause of the structure of second base of mikdash since we have mentioned no one set out initially on a pro program of hatred for others but after a while it was rampant how could this happen because senam is a It is cunning and it can lure a person in even without realizing. In fact, he can even emerge from the holy of holies quote unquote from within a person. His most cherished values and ideals and having used those ideals to embark on a course of hatred. When does the recovery from sin begin? when we stop allowing ourselves to be outf foxed by the very impactful my friends let's move on here because our time is running and we haven't even begun the most fascinating of them all which is kamsa so we've learned here about recognizing that small things make a difference we've learned here about that hashem is running the show how careful we have to be about the kavo the honor of others and finally there's a fifth and the Most important perhaps is that we are all in the fill in box together, all wrapped up and we need to learn how to have love even if we what >> a difference. >> That's it. Even if we disagree and there are differences among us, that does not preclude love. Now let's talk about Kamsa and Barcamsa. Who was Kamsa? Source 27 bottom right. Back to Roman Bernstein. We are told that he was a friend of the host. And who was Baramsa? His name sounds very similar to Kamsa. Were they connected in any way? Some say the answer is yes. What was mentioned? The word bar in Aramaic means son. Baramsa was the son of Kamsa. So this is answer number one. We're going to have a few and that changes everything. The beya which is a commentator on the kamura explains as follows. Imagine your kam. You're good friends with a person who despises your son. They're enemies with each other. Yet both of them like you. Is there anything you can do to bridge the gap between them? Did it ever occur to you to try to mend the relationship to promote better feelings between them or to bring some type of reconciliation? Kam's approach apparently was, "No, it's not my problem. I get along with my son. I get along with my friend. That's it. That's why his name is included in the story because he's part of it. If Kansa had made more of an effort, everything may have been different. With this in mind, does this story relate to me? Of course, I would never act like the way the host did, and I certainly would never do what Baramsa did, but I'm I might be like Kamsa. If I were to find myself in a similar situation, would I want to promote better feelings, men relationships, harmonize differences, and provide positivity, or would I just feel indifferent, sit back and do nothing? This, my friends, is a very powerful question. And you know where you see this on on one level, particularly if you live in a building in Erit Israel, neighbors sometimes have issues getting along and and the issues are are so vast and silly and important and and people lose it over these issues and there's a lot of strife and a lot of uh discomfort. Do you say, "Well, it's not my parking lot that they're fighting over. It's not my extension that's going to affect me. Let me stay out of it." Or do you what? Try to make shalom. Do you bring shalom into the building? Most of us, I don't say most of us, many people have the feeling of what? Look, it's not my issue. Let me just what? >> Stay out of it. And again, every situation has to be judged. But there are so many times you hear stories of a neighbor who says, "You know what? The two of you are fighting over 5,000 shekels. You know what? Let me just give the 5,000 shekels and you'll be what? You'll be friends." That's a person who's learned the lesson of Kamsa who understands that shalom taps it all. Yeah. >> I think something beautiful at the end of the story Raba that he laughs because he sees this vision of what is that vision that the older people the parent the grandparents are going to sit on the benches watching the children dance. So it's almost like the antidote for Cena's represented by the fox is going to be the shalom of families together. >> Okay. This is very beautiful. So she's saying is that why laugh is because he saw the vision of ohos in with the children playing and that's the antidote of shalom is when families can get along and be able to what >> babies >> play with play with their they'll be old enough and fit enough. I just had that last week on the fast. I decided to help my daughter out. So, I came and I sat on the floor to play with my two-year-old and that was my problem. You you you hit it on the nose. Guess sitting down wasn't the problem, but I'm here today to tell the story. Sometimes we're younger in our head than in our uh physical body. This explains in 28 again in our para and para mass that Arono dies and this is the only place in Kish where you have a date of when a yard site is roish why because that's not only was he oh shalom but he was also what shalom and that's the key what >> was actively >> actively ly involved in pursuing peace on which the in source 32 asks well does that mean that I have to go to every uh demonstration and try to make peace is that what this is about he says no he says in the bracket in 32 it's not about going out necessarily you have to love peace You have to be a person whose whole being is about peace, about speaking with people nicely, of complimenting people. Your whole being is about approaching the world in the mindset of peace and that's then going to impact the people around you. and and people will be influenced by your persona which is indeed what happened by our own a good so my friends idea one by Kamsa and Kamsa what was Kamsa's issue Kamsa's issue was he wasn't one who pursued peace and he was in the perfect position to create what >> shalom between his son Barakamsa and the host. Good. Idea number two, we'll have three. We know harabik quotes the idea in 35 that the three major sins of gil andor is what destroyed the first base of mdash and that's the reason is because the first bdash was in the threeos and each one of them personified one of these aspects. The mar 36 explains that the second beta mdash did not have hashem's presence because it no longer had the merits of the others to deserve its building. So in what merit was the second beta mikdash built? It was built to saral in the merit of the unity among the people of Israel. The ba mikdash would further bring the Jewish people together with one central location for all Jews to worship hashem. through the B of Mikdash, all Jews formed one united nation. But when this bond was broken and Bas's hatred spread, they were no longer worthy of having the B of Mikdash. They can no longer unified them and thus it was destroyed. This is very important. It's not that there was a uh punishment that the Ba Migdash was destroyed. Rather, it was a >> a result of consequence. If you can't get along and the whole idea of the BA migdas is about unity. So then my friends there's no reason they can't even exist to have the BA migdas. With this in mind now let's appreciate Kaman Baram. Listen to the comment of the Maharal 38. He says the following 38. the word because the word is the essence of is taking the uh the flower. Kamsa means a portion. It means a kamar. comes to means those who are involved in um how would you say it >> in in in in in sectioning off and creating um >> division divisiveness baramsa is the head of this right he's the master of divisiveness however kamsa is also implicated why so the moral explains the following And it's very fascinating and it reminds me of third graders. He says the only reason that Kamsa, this is my that Kamsa and the host were friends was in order to be able not to be friends with Baramsa. the the love was not love of each other as much as being able to separate and remove people. Like third graders, they have a click. The click isn't necessarily because they all get along together. It's more about what who can't be in the click. And you have this haz where you have people who get together and their whole mahalak and stance is you can't be one of us. You can't join us. It's it's unity with the mindset of disunityity. >> So how how does the Maharal explain that a father >> according to this? According to this it would be a father and son. That was one explanation. According to this, it was Thank you for the question. According to this, they were two separate individuals. They lived on different streets. They never met. You know >> what was the question? >> I wanted to say the same thing of father. >> No, no, no. It's not a father and son in this level. They were they were not related in the arrow in 38. It was unity for the sake of >> disunityity and that it's all about we are in this for our ego because our our our whole resendetra is how we can exclude other people. So how come the rabbi came to such an event? >> Well, they were there before it happened. >> But if the people but if the host is is of that mindset, what >> you know that's what we're saying here is that this was the millu of that time >> the time today also. Exactly. >> It's exact thing. >> The Arabs want to get together to destroy Israel. They don't care about >> right. So, I'm not so worried about the Arabs destroying Israel, even though I am worried about them, but I'm really not so worried about them. I'm more worried when we come together in order to exclude others and and use your imagination. Our job on this level is 44. Let's take a look. Our job We have to realize where we're holding. We're not we're not holding without a bas with working together. And our job is to be able to try to fix the reasons that we're here today in in in Gulos. this disunityity, this hatred. So where do we begin? So the answer is wherever you can begin at the same time I'm going to share what he says here one idea freelander thanks for asking 45 we think that okay to break you got to do these major aspects of however real aspects of are in small things. And the example that he gives is you know where you can start smiling at people saying good morning to people saying hello to people and it doesn't matter who they are and he quotes here a piece from who says last week's sh if I had to choose who should be the balmera of that I would have picked hello not shamai why does shamai say to greet everyone with a good countenance because it's not icing on the cake it is the cake it is the midim and he brings in 46 that says a person gives somebody all the gifts in the world and your face is down like oh year it's given him nothing you give a person a smile. You give a person attention. Even if you haven't given them anything, you've given them the greatest things in the world. Cuz what people need more than anything else is >> to be seen. to be seen your heart and that's why the farm says quotes in 47 that your face is abusi that when you walk around with a sour face you make people sad and and people fall into it walk around with a smile it it it impacts a person it affects the person so let's just take a look we have a few more ideas here we have kamsa and baramama our father and son. He should have been proactive in peace. Second comes our kamsa represent love in order to create disunityity. I'm connected to you in order for you not to be part of me. And when you have that feeling in the in the country, it it breeds such unrest. A third idea in 48, there are a lot of ideas. I'm just bringing a third is that Kamsa even if he wasn't invited, of course he knew about the party. Let's say it was a wedding of a kid. Of course he knew about it. You don't need to be invited to your what? Your best friend's wedding. You're going to show up no matter what. And he says here that perhaps he almost should quote Kamsa got his tux on was ready to go and then someone told him oh by the way I saw Baramsa walking into the party and he said oh if he's there I'm not going >> with the father and son >> no no that's if somebody else is there I'm not going to my friend's party. This is the problems that we're facing out of that hand filling so important. Let's go full circle to 49. Back to the title. Meet up modification. Raim Freinder who we just quoted had the MA and he was very sick and the doctor told him you have a few weeks to live. He went to and said okay I have three or four weeks to live. What should I work on? Should I focus in on um should I spend more time with my family? Should I give more shim? Should I write more? What should I do? And said to him in the arrows, you have a few weeks to live. Work on mess. Now, if that was said by Freelander, what are we going to say about ourselves? And it starts in the small things. We'll end with a story which is a very famous story and at the same time worthy of reminder the sadic of you who was such a personification of everything we're speaking today in the positive was the rabbi of the prisoners and uh at after the war a lot of these prisoners some of these prisoners became members of the Knesset right these were political prisoners so they wanted to show gratitude to ravarian Levin from visiting them and you know supporting them. So they came up with all these gifts that Raar refused each and every time. So for example they brought him a uh those ovens not an oven you cook with but uh to heat like a heater >> a heater you know >> like a like what we would call a space heater. Thank you. That's in our mind. So Arya said, "Wow, thank you so much. I know somebody two doors down who could really use it, please." He said to the porters, "Here's the address, right?" They couldn't give him anything. So one of them finally knitted gloves. "It's cold and you shall" and she came and brought him the gloves and he said, "Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. Thank you for all the effort. At the same time, I can't accept them." Gloves you can't accept. He said, "I'll tell you why." What's the only thing I can really give somebody is a smile and a warm handshake. >> What will the warm handshake be without with gloves? I'll be missing that. And I think that is the model, the mindset that we need to go into the next few weeks of the summer. How do we give those smiles and those handshakes to others? How do we build people up? How do we see the kabod? And obviously one of the ways to do so is to gift them with a gift and make them feel better. I tell