Shira Smiles - Parshat Ki Tatsei, Tues Sept 2, 2025

Okay, here we go. Beginning the parsha ki tetzei, when you will go out to war against your enemies and Hashem your God will deliver them into your hands, you will capture its captivity and you will see among its captivity a woman who is beautiful of form and you will desire her, you may take her to yourself for a wife. This is what we call the ashet yefat to'ar. You shall bring her into the midst of your house, she shall shave her head and let her hair's nails grow. A lot of Torah on this, not for today. You shall remove the garment of her captivity from upon herself and sit in your house and she shall weep for her father and her mother for a full month. Thereafter, you may come to her and live with her and shall be a wife to you. U'vakhta ta'aviya ve'et ima, they mourn for her father and mother for a full month. The Zohar Kadosh says in source number three, dahi yarkha de'elul. This is the month of Elul. Now, clearly my friends, that's very cryptic because this war could have happened when? Yeah, it doesn't matter when. So, obviously it's not telling you a time that they're mourning in the month of Elul. It's teaching us that there is a relationship between her mourning for a month, her I'll say crying for a month, that's a better phrase for me. U'vakhta ta'aviya, she will cry literally for her mother and her father in the month of Elul. And we need to understand today what is the relationship, interrelationship and connection. That's where we're headed for today. In order to answer that question, we have to understand well, what is she crying for? So, the pasuk says u'vakhta et ta'aviya ve'et ima, they cry for her father and her mother. Who is this father and mother? So, I'd like to take a look at the father and mother on two levels. And then each level, two ideas. So, all together we will have four. That was good. That was basic math even I could handle. Okay? So, uh let's take a look at level number one. It's an interesting it's happens to be a Gemara. The Gemara continuing Medrash continuing source number uh three, the Sifrei offers two explanations. Rabbi Eliezer says this is literally her real parents from whom the captive girl is separated and whom she will probably never see again. I am not talking about that idea, that's pretty simple, mourning for her parents. This is the idea I do want to speak about. Rabbi Akiva, however, gives another interpretation. She should weep for her idols. U'vakhta ta'aviya ve'et ima, she's weeping for her idols. Now, you'll say to me, what do parents have to do with idols? So, it's a pasuk in Yirmiyahu. Omrim la'etz avi ata. They say to a piece of wood, you are my father. What does that mean? So, it's pretty simple. On anything that's simple around here, which isn't really simple, on that level of simplicity in source number four, it was because of this deep human characteristic Torah allowed the captive girl a whole month to weep for her idols. The beliefs and habits of childhood, however false or absurd, are not easily eradicated. For this girl, it was all her basic conceptions that had to be changed. And for this, a month of introspection and contemplation was not excessive. And that's the aspect that the sages compare this month with the month of Elul, the month of self-criticism. 30 days are given us every year to review the thoughts and attitudes as well as the deeds of the past year to discriminate between those that bore the stamp of truth and those that were tainted with falsehood. Let's try to develop this a little bit together, my friends, on level 1A. The idols represent the beliefs that I have. And these beliefs are something that I've grown up with and something that I rely on and that is this imagery of one's parents because parents are the prime aspect and buddies, right? Of whom you whom you rely on, you trust, that gives you the whole Weltanschauung of what your life is about. Rebbe Leff developing this in the asterisks in source number five, he says this Forno and the Rambam say she must cry over her former idolatry, euphemistically referred to as her father and mother, and totally reject it, remove it from her mind. Here's the key. She thought that she could rely on her parents and likewise on her idolatry to protect her. Now, she realizes these forces are of little help to her. The month of crying gives her time to reflect on where in fact lies security and hope. Likewise, through the whole year, we put our trust and hope in a myriad of material things that we rely on to provide us with satisfaction and success. As we reflect on a year gone by, we come to realization that none of these things can be relied on, but only Ribono shel olam. Now, that means I don't like him. That means in our personal life, we may think this doctor is going to be what? This is going to be the yeshua. This treatment is going to be and we find out that what? No, this wasn't the answer, right? And in the collective national world, we think this government, this peace treaty, thank you. This is going to be what? This is going to be the answer. If we would only do A, B, and C, then and then we realize that what? It doesn't help because that is not where our focus and reliance has to be. The Ribono shel olam is running this world. Elul is the time to be able to cry for our father and mother, euphemistically our idols, and those idols represent those aspects in our life that we rely on, that we depend on, and we leave Hashem out of the picture. Let me just bring this down a little bit before I take this further. You know, you have this, let's say, when um lo aleinu, somebody in the family is sick. Doesn't have to be, you know, whatever. So, uh you tell a a friend, a neighbor, you know, my whatever isn't feeling well. And they say to you, did you make a doctor's appointment? And you say, of course, 4:00 today, I have an appointment. And then you do you they ask you, and did you mention their name in refa'einu? Um I don't know. That's where the problem is. Where you know for sure you made your 4:00 appointment because obviously I'm relying on what? The doctor. But I forget or I'm not sure or it's not my priority to say kapitel Tehillim or mention this person in refa'einu. Where's our reliance? Where's our focus? And that's the name of this year today. It's realignment realization. I've no idea what this title means, but that's the basic idea that we have to realize that we have to realign ourselves. My husband said, isn't there an and there? I said, no, no and. That that would be an A and I like, you know, just Let's take this a little bit further, my friends. There's a beautiful piece in source number eight. In um Reb Yitzchak Isaac Sher, Slat Shal who was a Slabodka Rosh Yeshiva. In his sefer Likutei Sichos Mussar, he has a piece on the Haftorah for Shabbos Shuvah. So, this is a nice Torah to have Shabbos Shuvah. The Haftorah begins Shuva Yisrael ad Hashem Elokecha, return to Hashem, until Hashem your God, ki khashalta ba'avonecha, you stumbled in your sin. And then it talks about well, what is the teshuvah? What's the vidui that people should say? And the navi tells us part of the vidui is Asher lo yoshi'enu, Asher will not save us. Al sus lo nirkav, we're not going to ride on horses. Velo nomar od Eloheinu lema'aseh yadeinu, we will no longer say the gods that we have made of our hands. Asher becha yirucham yetom, you Hashem comfort the mourners. This, my friends, says the Likutei Sichos Mussar, is probably the encapsulation of what all of our teshuvah is about. First and foremost, we have to realize Shuva Yisrael ad Hashem Elokecha. Life is about doing teshuvah, meaning until ad Hashem Elokecha, Hashem is your God. That in every aspect of your life, I'm in the right above the asterisks, hein bemahashava, hein bedibur, vehein bema'aseh, in every aspect, in our thought, in our speech, in our action, we recognize that we have no other recourse but the Ribono shel olam. Al ba'al teshuvah lo omdim has to realize that a Ba'al teshuvah has to realize that Hashem hu Elokim. And then the Ein Od Milvado. There is no other being. He's watching over us in every aspect of our lives. There's none other than Hashem. Our job lahavdil elef alfei avodah is Where's Waldo? Is Yeah, is being able to Yeah, to be able to find Hashem in every every situation in life. You know, from the from the most mundane to the most you know, sublime. You know, just to give a silly example. A few weeks ago, my husband who doesn't drive, was came to the car and he says, "You know, you really need a car wash." I said, "That's nice." And then, 2 days later my daughter comes into the car and says, "You know, it's about time you washed the car." I said, "I didn't." She said, "But the car is washed." I wouldn't even notice. I didn't. But she was right. The car was completely clean. Now, my husband doesn't drive. I'm the only driver of the car. I did not wash the car. How did it get washed? I don't know. Your husband. No, he doesn't drive. He doesn't have to go out and wash the car. No, my husband's not going to wash the car. If you knew my husband, you wouldn't even what? You wouldn't even suggest that suggestion. Leave that. It's the summer. It doesn't matter. You want a car wash? I'll give you a car wash. No problem. Now, I know that's a a simple example, but it's a very deep example. The Rebono shel Olam is listening. He's here. Where's Waldo? Open your eyes. Thank you, Hashem, for the car wash. It didn't cost me a dime. Or a shekel for that matter, either. Yes, ma'am. I just want to share something. I just reconnected with someone from my childhood who was a relative of mine that I haven't seen in years. And I recognized her. And uh we we connected here. Beautiful. That's it. Rebono shel Olam is going to put everything together when it needs to be together. Now, let's go on here. It's not just enough of shuvah is until Hashem is your God in every step of the way. It has to be more than that. Moving to the asterisks and nine, Asher lo yoshienu. You can't rely on Asher, which is political forces. Those are Those are all the These are all the mediums that we use. A horse is just symbolism of things that will save us. And here's the punchline. You can't rely on the gods made by your hands. What are the gods made by our hands? What did you say? I get lost. Yeah, everything that we do. I work. I do this. I do that. I accomplish this. Politicians. Yeah, absolutely. But even leaving again, it's two levels. We have to understand that the but Hashem with the Ba'al teshuvah and emunah. We have to understand that everything that's accomplished is because the Rebono shel Olam wants it accomplished. And we have to be able to You can't rely on anybody, even your parents. Obviously, you rely on your parents, but it's a concept that the only one, only being that we can rely on is Rebono shel Olam. This teshuvah is moving us away from the center of our lives. You know, it was interesting. I'm working with someone on this book, which is going on forever. Um and uh she was in the shiur on Sunday and she emailed me and she said, "I just want to tell you where we're holding. I did this chapter. I'm up to this. I'm up to that. I'm almost finished that." And then she wrote, "Whoa. Too many I's." With siyata d'Shmaya, with the help of Hashem, this is is what has been accomplished so far. And if you think about it, my friends, and it's a little scary to think about. Listen to Rebbe Zatzal. Listen to a 5-minute Forget 5. 3-minute conversation you have with somebody and count how many times you use the word I. I did this. I went there. I had I I I I I. I I I. What is Elul about? It's about that shift. Where's the focus? Where's the center of this world? And recognizing that there's no other recourse but Rebono shel Olam. And that's why he says at the end of 10, "Well, isn't that obvious? Like, I can't even lift the my hand without Hashem enabling me." Right? Any of you have a back problems? You know exactly what I mean. Like, it it it You got to back me up on that one. Welcome back. Welcome back. Hey. That was good. Um What's pshat? Why don't I see it? Why isn't it so clear to me? And he says very simply, he says, You seem to In the asterisks and 10, shichcha d'Hashem. Every time we sin, we create a distortion in our world. We create lots of sin, there's a lot of distortion and we don't see with clarity. You know, it reminds me of many moons ago, I remember driving and not being able to see out of my front window. So, I used that blue spritzer. Do you know what I'm talking about? And I'm spritzing and spritzing and spritzing. Quarter shelf it. And it was frustrating cuz I couldn't see. I mean, I could see, thank God, but I it was This was before the car wash, yeah. So, it did hit me and I said, "Chavah, the problem isn't your windshield. Your problem is your your glasses. Your glasses are what's dirty. You clean your glasses and the windshield will be clean." The world is clean. There's a clear windshield. We create the glasses. We need to clean our glasses. That's what Elul's about. Clearing our vision. This, my friends, is so beautifully reflected in a piece from Rabbi Bernstein in the Sefer Teshuvah, which I highly recommend. Where he says, and and you'll see this in the Rosh Hashanah Mussaf. And for a few minutes. In the Rosh Hashanah Mussaf, we talk about the korbanos, the sacrifices that we that we bring. And we mention there the uh for the pasuk describing the sacrifices of Rosh Hashanah. And there, the word used is "ve'asitem" in men 14. And you shall make. And not the classic, which is "vehikravtem", you shall offer. And the Medrash says, "Look in the in the Mussaf before Yom Tov and just put a little stick it there on that word 've'asitem'. You'll notice it. It's before the malchiyos." When you bring a sacrifice on Rosh Hashanah, it's as if you have made yourself into a new person. Rosh Hashanah and Elul's the preparation is about making ourselves new. What is the sanctity about? So, we know in 15 that the quality of Rosh Hashanah is that it's the anniversary of the creation of man. And each subsequent in the bracket of 15, Rosh Hashanah allows us to tap into the unique essence of the day. This was the day man was originally created. On this day, we seek "ve'asitem" to be recreated again. The ideal of renewal of Rosh Hashanah is also contained in the pasuk, "Tiku ba'chodesh shofar." Blow on the month the shofar. And here, Chazal say "ba'chodesh" is the idea of hidden. The idea is that we should create each of them say him renew your deeds today. There's more though. The idea of newness just as part of the call the shofar it's embedded within the shofar itself. The midst of shofar takes the form of blowing into an object. The very first object ever blown into was man who was blown into by a sham and thereby attained his existence. This brings us to a fascinating element within the midst of shofar. When we blow into the shofar this reverberates upwards toward the higher realms and activates a corresponding blowing into us which gives the renewal of our own existence. And that's what the shofar say what so possible we say in the midst of Allah Elohim the true Hashem the call shofar. The Hasidic interpretation of Hashem the call shofar is Hashem give you a call is the one blowing the shofar. And just like the Hashem blew into Adam and showed a breath of life and that's what created him. Every Rosh Hashanah Hashem blows into us a breath of life of newness. My friends the imagery is so powerful. Standing there by the key of shofar we should just imagine I'm like that lump of clay and I can what? Reform myself. I become a new person. And Hashem is infusing life into me and the ball's in my court. What do I want to form myself into? Who I do I want to be? And and I and I will mention this is just parenthetical. I've mentioned this many times over the past years. In my humble opinion the book to read during this Kufa is it's a book based on the writings of Rabbi teachings of Rabbi Berkowitz. So it's a book called Say no no no. I'm Elul. It's on my table. It has light bulbs on the cover. Yeah yeah yeah. Something about Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. Yeah something about Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. Moshe Chormenic is the author. Look it up. She's going to look it up. In there he talks about Elul is the time to ask yourself what type of life you want to live, what type of life you're asking for. And I'll just share with you a very powerful muscle he gives in this um in this safer. It's very short, very very powerful. He says imagine you're going into you get a a prize that you can go into a superstore and whatever you can take in 15 minutes is yours. A new approach to Rosh Hashanah A new approach to Rosh Hashanah and and Yom Kippur. Moshe Chormenic and Um Rabbi Yitzchak Berkowitz based on Based on Rabbi Yitzchak Berkowitz. Someone else wrote it. Seraf Swig asset. Seraf Swig asset. So a new approach to Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are fantastic. So this is what he says. Thank you Rifky. This is what he says. Nobody here is not going to visit that superstore before that day and plan out a what? My program. A program. Imagine, okay, Tuesday morning 9:15 to 9:30 you're in the superstore. You you you wallow, you know, you come in at 9:12. Oh, I wonder where things are. Hmm, I wonder what I'm going to take. Hmm, this looks interesting. Maybe I should take this. Rebono shel olam you have 15 minutes. Rosh Hashanah is setting up the course of our whole life and ultimately our whole year. Zochreinu lechaim melech hafetz bachaim u'katveinu b'sefer chaim. What is the life you're asking for? It can't just be a life of more, you know, this and that. It has to be a life of meaning. What is the meaning in your life? Where are we going? That's the work of Elul. That's the shofar that when the time the shofar comes and we say Rebono shel olam says, "Okay, you want life. Well, tell me what life you want. I'm able to say I want a life of that my davening should be connected, that my whatever it is in your spiritual vision, but you have to have a half one. Am I making sense? Let's remind yourselves at this point that the original message of renewal came from a verse dealing with the midst of offering Rosh Hashanah. This is very interesting for if this idea is hosted in the world of carbonos then apparently we're being told that the possibility of being created new is somehow related to the idea of bringing carbon. What does this mean creating a new and a carbon? What's the connection? Listen to this because in my humble opinion this is the piece for today. The arrow in 16. The answer is that in order for us to be eligible for new existence we need to be ready to offer up and discard our old existence. Our self-image as the center of our own detached world needs to be nullified as we embrace our true identity as part of Hashem's world. The ease that which we which we can do this depends on how prepared we are here it goes to part with the egocentric mindset and self-image that characterized our early existence. On the positive side these things never really existed and they only let us away from truth and toward delusion and disappointment, but they have to be given up. This is the key. Leaving our detached world that we really believe is true. What are focus is? What are we aiming for? What brings us Rios in our lives? This is what Malchios is about 17. The theme of Malchios kingship is so central to Rosh Hashanah the full sort of our old existence lies in seeing ourselves at being at center. It's critical that Hashem is the ruler of the world for us to take on our new existence as part of that world. My friends idea number one. What are we crying for? We're crying for the disillusionment that we believe that the I is the center of the world and it's time to see eye to eye with the reality that ain od milvado. There's only Rebono shel olam in the picture. Vaasitem. It's a carbon. It's not easy. Because I rely so much on so many different things in life. Shifting. Make the Rebono shel olam the center of my life. The second part that was 1A. Let's move to 1B very briefly. So that's why she cuts her hair and lets her nails grow and all that. Physicality. She's getting rid of all that physicality. Beautiful. Beautiful. So what Hannah saying is a lot of truth to it. Why does she have to change her clothes, grow her hair, it's shave her hair, grow her nails? It's about shifting away from the I that she is familiar with. Creating herself in the Yeah, but it's also from a man's perspective because For sure. For sure. Yeah, I got it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I agree. You're right. I I agree with you. And that is why there are 70 levels of Torah. And which one is true? The answer is all of them. But you're 100% correct. That's pshat. What you're saying is pshat. What she's saying is a deeper level of drash. And both are correct 100%. And then there are many levels in between the 68 that we haven't even gotten it from the two sides of the room. Excellent. Yeshurun koach. The second idea of what is it that you rely what we are relying on so the mourning for the the father and mother level number 1A is mourning for those things you rely on. Those things you rely on. Yeah, like your parents you rely on them, right? What you say? Do do we have a comment in the peanut gallery? Um the second level is the Reb Freiman's Sefer Shaarei Derech where he says in 19 in the asterisks El b'chodesh Tishrei she knew mitivya kiva in order to have a real change in her. 19 asterisks she knew she was a new person that she's a new person. Al leha leha mis liba chodesh yamim u'veichi temerim al aviv v'eima. Just to cry for her parents. Hainu al kol eloheha nechar she'er ahava. The gods that she loves which means inyanei hachomer v'taavos olam hazeh hamgunos asher avasam mishulach l'avad av v'eim. This isn't about relying. This is about love. Just like healthy relationships, you love your parents, right? That's a model, a symbolism of love. It's a natural, hopefully, love of parents. This is symbolically all those things that you love of the pleasures of this world that you have to be able to say, "Pleasures are good, and the pleasures of the world are wonderful, but is it taking up the entirety of me?" And that it make therefore leaves no room for any other spiritual love. And the crying for the father and the mother for us is this model of asking ourselves, "What is it that I love the most? And is this love taking up most most of my attention?" So, let's put this into English. Technology. There's nothing wrong technology. You know, we we listen to sharing. We're being taped here, right? Technology is wonderful. But if it becomes the what? Your life, exactly. You said becomes your life, and this is your center. And like, I'm constantly checking, and I'm constantly and I'm constantly and if, you know, I I brought this in in in the safer, like meeting this person who says, "I can't find my phone. I can't live without my phone." And I said to her, "I can't live without God." That's that's the problem. And and I'm just picking on technology. It could be anything. That I put my whole focus. The realignment of Elul is, "What do I do in my spare time? What gives me pleasure in this world?" And part of this realignment, and back in this superstore, is maybe to look at "What are some spiritual pleasures that I can be able to involve myself in during the course of the year? Maybe you'll be a service with somebody. Maybe you'll be at a group. Maybe I going to the Kotel on a second and Rosh Chodesh. And the double itself. Yes, ma'am. Could David have meant the David Sham only when he says Good. Right. Yes, very good. So, very good. So, this is part of the sheer that I skipped because we started at 9:15 and I started we started at 9:30. So, I will make mention of it. You're 100% correct. And that is a piece that is brought in the Darash David. I found him on source 12, where he says that How How do you say that David and Melech said it's excellent point that you're making. Ki avivi me azavuni, my parents have left me. I mean, that sounds pretty what? And Rabbi Aryeh Schechter translates or some people translate it abandoned me. I mean, that sounds even what? Worse. So, he says that's upshot. I'm just going to look in the bracket. He says, um in 12, "Therefore you therefore rather David's intent is to express the idea that he was unable to grow properly in his parents' home due to his connection to his family, and therefore felt that in order to fulfill his obligation to serve Hashem, he needed to detach himself from the world of his youth and to feel as if his parents had abandoned him, leaving him completely alone. This was the only way he could truly reach new heights in serving Hashem." And and again, it's not just leaving your parents, it's leaving those things that we completely rely on, and those things that we completely indulge in to the exclusion of having a connection with Hashem. And my friends, this is the work. We're in the middle of Elul, right here. And it's hard work. And I suggest this book because it helps us do this work. What are our goals? What are our priorities? What are we asking for when we say l'chaim? How do I spend my day? How do I spend my leisure time? How do I spend my focus? And it's interesting because the first person first Jew, Avraham Avinu, is told what? Lech lecha me'artzecha mimoladetecha, and then he says me? Me'avicha. To really be a lech lecha, you have to leave me'avicha. For sure. Baruch atah Adonai Eloheinu Melech ha'olam shehakol nihiye bidvaro. Amen. Let's go. Now, that's level 1A and 1B. She's mourning for idolatry. And that's pshat. Now, my friends, you ready to flip it to level number level two? Ready? It's not about idolatry. Look at source 23B for a moment. The Ariza. So, obviously when we come to the Ariza, we're coming to what? Sod ha'Torah, the depths of Torah. The Ariza says in the asterisks in 23B, 23B, over of 24. Ubachta et avicha, she should cry for her father. Is that Kadosh Baruch Hu? She's crying for Hashem. Ve'et imah, and her mother, zu Knesset Yisrael. This is the Jewish people. Whoa. That was a what? That was a 180. It's 100%. We're crying for idolatry, and now we're crying for Hashem. So, now we have to ask ourselves, and what does it mean to what? For crying out loud, what does it mean to cry for Hashem? So, I want to look at this on what? Two levels. Again, we'll do a lot outside because I had a fast one pulled on me. It's 45. I said that already. And that is source 23, if I can find it. It's the page before. I know I'm completely messed up here. Rav Nosson Tzvi Finkel's letter. Mashgiach of Lakewood. Lo medubar kan al bechi shel charatah l'chata'im, el bechi shel hiskarvus l'borei olam. You're saying that it's crying tears of remorse. I'm telling you there's another type of crying. It's a cry of yearning, anticipation, and longing. El bechi shel hiskarvus l'borei olam, bechi shel ga'agu'im l'olam shel kedushah, bashra'as Shechinah kedoshah v'hiskarvus l'Hashem. Zu achanah l'Yom ha'Din. This is achanah l'Yom ha'Din, l'chashov machshavah shel amitiyah al ahava shel Avinu shebashamayim aleinu. To think about all of Hashem's love for us and all of our love for Hashem. Hashem, all I want to do is get closer to you. All year round, I'm so caught up in so many things that I can't focus on self. I just want a month of what? Well, Hashem, you've done so much for me. There are so many cars, wishes, experiences in our life that sometimes just wash right over us. Am I driving the point home? Bechi shel ga'agu'im. Let's develop this idea. We'll do most of it outside in the Netivot Shalom. Netivot Shalom, source number 24. There's a passuk that we say by Mincha on Shabbos. Va'ani tfilati l'cha Hashem et ratzon, Elohim b'rov chasdecha aneni b'emes yishecha. Notes in Netivot Shalom. This passuk is really the essence of Elul. Va'ani tfilati. And and for me, literally means, and for me my tfila at this time of of favor. The way he teaches it puts the comma differently. Va'ani tfilati, comma. And for me, my tfila is two words. L'cha Hashem, beautiful. I want to be yours, Hashem. And that's my tfila in this et ratzon. Elul is called an et ratzon, at this time of favor. All I want is connection. And again, he speaks about you can't get this connection if you're so full of self. And he notes in 25, and and this is the key. Uv'chlala ani l'dodi, which is what Elul is about. Dinei d'inyana d'teshuvah, yesh teshuvah chaim sheb'yamim, in 25. Sometimes there's a teshuvah for certain sin. Sheshav omer, "Ana shev chatati, aviti, pashati, v'asiti kach v'kach." This is what I've done wrong. V'yesh teshuvah klalis, in the asterisks in 25. Al kol metzi'us hachaim. And then there's teshuvah for life. Sh'adam chayev chayev lo kirtzon Hashem. Where my whole trajectory of life is love culture. V'rotzeh lasot mafneh b'chayav, have and you want to have a whole transformation in your life. And he says that's a deeper understanding of like the deeds of that you've done in me trying and that they did in me trying that the Egyptians did in the Canaanite this don't do. And then it lists the terrible things they did. So we asked if it lists the terrible things they did, why do I need this introduction? Don't do what they've done. And it says it's two parts. Yes, don't do what they've done. But you know what? There's a different part. Don't be like them. Don't eat like them, don't sleep like them, don't talk like them, don't act like them. Act like a Jew. You know, the way the the most of the time say is when you eat soup, do you bring the spoon to your mouth or do you put your mouth to the soup? Do you know what I'm talking about? Do you sit when you eat? There there there's a it's not what's her name that gives you etiquette uh Emily what's her post? Yeah, yeah. This is this is this is Torah. I say a brocha. I I focus. I say I'm I'm about to eat in order to have strength to be able to This is what it's about. It's about a voter's Hashem. And this is what again I'm going to summarize here what he says is to ask ourselves before doing anything is this bringing worth to Hashem? When you feel that it's Hashem to be yours Hashem means if everything that I'm doing and this is a goal talking about that super store. I want to live a life. What I want to get on Rosh Hashanah Hashem help me that I live a mindful life. And before I say something I ask myself is this bringing me closer to Hashem? Is this is this about connection? Is this going to hurt the person or build the person? You know, what comes to my mind and I'm going to be very careful sharing this is that um we had a little bit of a of a medical scare when my daughter was expecting. I'm being very vague here. And we had somebody read a scan who gave us a doomsday report. Like I'm talking about with a capital D D. And um it really threw us into a More than that. It was it was really it was being very vague here. And because of Hashem because of Hashem Hashem everything's fine. Baby mommy because of Hashem. There is a very deep part of me that wants to write this person who's a neighbor or a friend or in our community of ours an email telling them be careful. You know what I'm saying? And my daughter said to me, what are you going to gain? I know but but what do you mean? Nothing. It was it was from Hashem to wake us up. To feel how to be done to feel how to happen and it happened. He was a shaliah. Fight her. Move on. I have a story similar to that. My daughter was pregnant with her third child and uh the doctors said that you have cancer of the uterus and you must abort the baby. And she said no way. She said you know, sitting in his hands it's my last child. I will not. This child was born. She was cured of the cancer and he is one of the most creative people I know in life. Wow. Is that a beautiful story? No, 4 years old he was doing artwork you could not even believe. Wow. Wow. And by 8 years old he taught himself eight musical instruments. He went to junior chef school. He he just he's beautiful. Amazing. You should have a lot of years of nachas. God willing. Yeah. This is what we're talking about. It's all in his hands. It's all in his hands and and we have to ask ourselves is this bringing us closer to Hashem in doing what we're doing or not? Or is it just about what? Me. Me. I have a lot of me. Yes. We have to remember there's often the stories that the pregnancies don't end well Yes. and the child is born with terrible Yes. handicaps. >> Yes. Yes. Yes. >> disabilities. Right. I don't know if that's the correct word and and that's also That's also the Hashem. Everything's from the Hashem. You're right. Thank you for mentioning that. Okay, but There was a person in Milwaukee who they had six children all good and then the seventh All of them are good. No. No. No. I meant healthy and well. Healthy is better word. The seventh one was a Down syndrome and the father got up in the shul and said to Hashem thank you. Thank you. He said I don't know where I have this coot that you entrusted this child in my care. And she turns out to be you can't believe. Okay, my friends. My story time is over because I have 8 minutes on the clock. No, it's okay. I'm I'm I'm watching but I love stories. Uh we're about to end. The point of the story wasn't about my story. It was about asking yourself what? These questions. Asking yourself these questions. Is it about you? Does it bring worth to Hashem? Is it bringing goodness more goodness into this world than every case has to be? In other words, I understand all these stories and I appreciate that. But if you're intent on learning a person not that getting back or whatever but rather take perhaps in the future consider wisely Yes. Yes. So I I've thought about that but as my daughter said until you have gotten through all of your feelings you have to write it in that way and since you may you're nowhere near there I agree I agree with you. I agree with you. That was my intent but there was so much layers covered over. Yeah, it's it's I have to really work on myself and it may take a few months. It may take longer. And it may take a lifetime. Okay, I'm leaving my personal life alone for now. It comes back all the time. My friends, the final idea and then I want to do a final idea. If we can just turn phones off that would be great so my focus can be focused. One A is idolatry is what I rely on. God's in my hand. One B, where are my pleasures? Where do I put my focus in life in terms of you know, enjoyment and and two A is Hashem. When you feel that it's Hashem means I'm crying of mourning. It's crying of yearning, desire. And that's what it's for us. I said I just want to get closer to you. I just want to be connected. I just want to be in a place where I almost automatically do the right thing. Right? Again also the fact that you train me to stop it. We say to Hashem force me to serve you. I want to you to force me. This is what I want. And then there's one B. Two B. And let's do this most of it outside. The Zohar obviously we're going very deep here. This is not shot. It's the drash sold level. 29. The enemy under discussion here is the evil inclination. Hashem will deliver this enemy into your hands in the mirror of the Torah study which counteracts and nullifies the Torah. And then you will see this beautiful woman. The beautiful woman in captivity referred to as none other than the shama. So when we talk about the the beautiful woman in captivity it's not even though it is a beautiful woman it's not a beautiful woman. It's about our which is in captivity. 30. Yet you desire to embrace and internalize her light within you. Within your body which is designed to house in the shama. Abstain from earthly pleasures. Remove the garments of a captivity and you shall weep tears of shuva concerning her father in heaven whom her body has sinned against and concerning the holy divine presence, the maternal presence that is in exile due to our transgressions. This is about mourning. Shuva that our soul is in captivity. So I wanted to it's in English so you can go through it yourself. I'm just going to summarize so we can get to the last idea. The imagery for us is particularly profound since October 7th. When we use the term captivity it is a trigger word for us. Let's go and should be for the and and they should come back healthy and well. Their bodies should be buried in every swell. When we talk about the there are many things to about. One thing that stands out is darkness. Not seeing the day of light. The night of the light of day. Let's hold on to this imagery which is so real for us. Taurus Shama. Our neshama is in our body yearning for light. Yearning to breathe. And it's in our body which blocks the light, blocks that energy. Oovachta et ha'viaveitema. Crying is the teshuvah enabling the neshama to be able to get room to breathe. That's what this month is about. 11 months a year all you think about is what? What am I going to eat for breakfast? What's for dinner tonight? Oh, I have to go shopping. Do I wake up in the morning saying, "What am I feeding my neshama today?" What am I going shopping for for my neshama later today? Is it on my radar? And he says the way to access this neshama is the line that we say also in our davening, particularly during this time of year. Shir Hamalos, it's in the asterisks in 33. Mimamakim karasicha Hashem. From the depths I call out to you Hashem. Mimamakim is the depths of my soul which has that pure part in us that's connected to Hashem. Just like in medicine if you want you can take a healthy cell and have that healthy part, you know, you do that with a skin graft regenerate. We have to find that healthy part of ourselves to be able to allow it to give space, light, and energy for our soul. And that is really what the work of Elul is about. Find that part of us that is so connected. In this situation I feel Hashem so intimately. Be able to tap into that. And the way of the Rebbe speaks about it, it's find that mitzvah that you are on fire with. And use that as that you're on fire with, that you're excited about. I love lighting Shabbos candles. I love saying Shehakol. I love birkas hamazon. And use that as a laser beam to access connection. And he says that is what the month of Elul is about. When we have the ability to really connect with Hashem, then we are allowing ourselves to take off the clothes of this woman which are all the soiled garments that we have blocked from this light enabling to penetrate into our lives. And we'll be able to have a connection to Hashem. Let me say it differently. It's in us. It's not something we have to create. You're right. Oh my gosh, a spiritual connection Hashem, feeling close to Hashem, I don't know what that's about. Stop. Oovachta et ha'viaveima, use this time to do teshuvah and really what the teshuvah is about is not only everything I've done wrong but see where I've done right. And that's why he speaks about that famous Chidushei Harim that Elul is about the two words of kri uksiv in Mizmor L'Asaf. Te'u ki Hashem hu asanu v'lo anachnu. I'm in source 31. The lo anachnu was written with an aleph and I am nothing. V'lo anachnu is read with a vav and I belong to Hashem. To the extent of lo anachnu, when I'm able to say it's not about me and to take away the negative, then I make space for v'lo anachnu of connection. And the lo lo, lamed aleph lamed vav spell Elul cuz that's the essence of Elul. Being able to see that dynamic. What is the message for us, our final idea for today, and I'm calling it a day. And that is in source number 43, and the three is cut off. Rabbi Yaakov Meir Schechter in Breslov Torah Osef Amarim he says the idea of teshuvah is going back to the way Adam Harishon was created cuz that's Rosh Hashanah, the day Adam was created. And Hamelech tells us in Koheles, asa Elokim asa Elokim es Adam yashar v'heima bikshu cheshbonos rabim. Hashem made Adam straight and we came up with all these convoluted ideas. How do we access this lo with a vav? How do we access this inner part of ourselves? Be able to live a life of yashrus. What's straight? What's honest? What's upright? Ask ourselves that question. Should I let this car go in in front of me? Of course, it's the right thing to do. Okay, let it go in front of you. There's so many opportunities all day. Ask to myself, is this yashar? Nah. If you're ready to say, "Yeah." Stay away. It's living a life of being mindful of self. Of why we're here. And he ends and this all ends in 46, I'm ending. A person has to ask themselves in a real way. V'chilu tzorich adam l'zaney fratei. Whatever you're involved in, ask yourself, is this why I was created? V'chilu man ha'alim elu yeradti m'olam ha'elyon l'zeh ha'olam? Is this why Brad brought me down to this world? He brought me down here for a purpose. He brought me down here to live a life again of yashrus, of connection. We say this after the tekiah shofar. We say the pasuk of um the end of the pasuk gives b'or panecha yalechu. Ashrei ha'am yodei teruah. B'or panecha b'or panecha I'm stressed. Yalechu. To walk in the light of Hashem. That's knowing the teruah. That's knowing the core. The energy to feel our light and energy. I came down to this world to be involved in these things? To get lost in these pleasures? And I'll end with a very famous maaseh of Reb Elchanan Wasserman come to my once came to collect money for his yeshiva. And he had a chaver from yeshiva who moved away from the straight and narrow who owned a very very big factory of clothing. And Reb Elchanan went to visit him to get money. But he didn't ask for money. He just came and said, "Oh, I came to visit you." "Really? You came on a boat for 2 weeks from Europe to visit me?" "Yeah, yeah, you know, I'll tell you I really came. I have a loose button. Um could could you have someone sew the button?" "Sure. You didn't come here to sew a button." "Yeah, you know, I I took this 2-week trip on the boat to come here for you to sew a button." "No, no, no. It's impossible. What did you really come for?" And he said to him, "Do you think your neshama came down from shamayim just to own this factory? That's why you had to come millions of miles of spiritual miles away?" He got the message. We're here for a short time. Elul is a super store of spirituality. Sachrei l'chaim. We have to access what is really life about for us. What motivates us? What excites us? I'd cut it.