Shira Smiles on Parshat Mishpatim- Feb. 10, 2026

Right. Right. For the sponsors of this [snorts] series for the whole year is memory of Elanana Fry and Ben Abraham. Today's shar we have two dedications as well to be a tremendous uh Relle Tourettki Rushifro and by my father in memory of his aunt Rifka Abraham and Shili Louisha as well. Okay my friends let's learn today's shear I will say is a shear with really I I can't call it simplistic because nothing is simple one real yo and in simplicity comes depth and comes real understanding so let's learn every single pok has a lesson for our lives whether we understand it or not. That's our challenge. So even things that seem to be totally irrelevant to our lives are so totally relevant. And here's the example. Harsha Mishbatim deals with the laws of Nazikin, the laws of damages. Okay? So a lot of those laws of damages are uh are very relevant to our lives. You borrow something from somebody and you damage it. What is your obligation? Someone asks you to watch something and it gets stolen. What's your obligation? These are these are day in day out. Look at the following. If a man shall steal an ox, I don't know if women can hold an ox, but that's irrelevant, right? If a man steals an ox or a sheep or a goat and slaughter it or sell it, he shall pay five cattle in place of the ox and four sheep in place of the sheep. Now why is there a difference between the ox and the sheep? So ra this is Rashi tells us very famous I'm going to bracket in two the Torah reduced the payment for a sheep because a thief suffered the embarrassment of carrying it on his shoulders and he made his escape. If the embarrassment of even a compassionless thief evokes God's pity, how much more so should we be concerned with the feelings of innocent people? And Rashi brings a second interpretation, Rabbi Mayor, that the axe is more serious because it causes the owner a greater loss of work. We have one question for today, my friends. It's a simple question and that question is the following. Source three deals with laws. You punish a thief for his stealing. If we're dealing with judgment here, where is there even a place to have in the consideration the idea of poor thief, he had the embarrassment. And the harster goes on and asks, "And if the thief has to shle a ladder in public, do we say I give out? It must have been so hard for you to shle the ladder to to, you know, to do your your job and we're going to take off because you slept the ladder." I mean, there's and and so there there's there's no uh there's no end to this. How do how do we understand that if we're dealing with Mishbatim that suddenly we have the the the cover element here? That's our question for today and obviously [clears throat] the the implications of what we're supposed to learn for this for our lives. So first and foremost as the D Torah points out in source 4, the Gmorra tells us one who wants to be aid. Now we make a mistake that we think aid is somebody with a uh fur hat and pis that's not I mean that may be what we call aid aid in talmutic thought is somebody who goes thank you above and beyond the the the regular law if you want to learn how to be aid aka being a mench learn the laws That's what the Gumar says because the laws of the zik the laws of damages aren't just about technical damages. They're about they're about how to treat other people. And he goes on to explain in source number four in the underline here. We're about judgment. We're punishing somebody for stealing and kavrios comes here. Is this possible? Is this mishbat? Is this uh what we're talking about? And therefore, second paragraph, he says in fourish hashem, the judgment of hem is truth and and there's no give in this. There's this is MS and nevertheless with M comes comes righteousness comes the ability to feel the pain of the person being uh being judged. And this is the ABCs of Yiddish kite in source six that is but he's saying here is very powerful shalom takes into consideration in ways that we don't understand and that we're not privy to all that goes into every single act we do. So if this thief, you know, the the the lock, it's a little bit more difficult than he expected and he's having heart palpitations that someone may find him. That goes into Hashem's judgment of this thief. Everything that goes into all of our actions. You see, the western world is about bottom line. You're a lawyer. You know what I'm talking about. It's where it's at. Yiddish kite is about what are the mindsets? What's all the emotional aspect? We can't do that down here in the court of law. This is something the three bonus shalom takes into consideration. Now watch what he says here because this is the punchline. If we understand that Hashem takes into consideration all of these aspects, the fact that we're still punished shows us how severe >> our sin is the because really all that goes into it should just not go to sin completely which gives us a sense that's why I say in the simplicity comes depth you know I don't want to talk about you because everyone who comes on Tuesday morning is holy to to block out time every week. You're on a different level. I'll talk about me. Okay. So, I sinned. I'm not I'm not proud of [laughter] it. But like, you know, life goes on. We have a very flippant view sometimes, not always, of what sin is. If we were to understand the enormity of sin, if we would understand the enormity of a relationship with rebon shalom, how could we sin? You know, imagine giving your child a uh a stick to play with and they take the stick and they beat you with it. Autbah. Hashem gives us a mouth and we use it for lash against his own children. That's not autbah. The one who understood this was a Raven source seven. When a when Krishu was going to same page on left hand side when Arau was gosh was going to destroy stone he said can I conceal this from a Ravinu what do I know about Ravinu that he's going to command his household after him dermote stuck Mishbah this is what he knew was the greatness of Abrau he understood that there's stuckco mishbah because you would think about this conversation that ribonos has with a raino says okay 45 people in the city 30 people 20 people 10 people this is stone all right this is this is this is the height of depravity you're arguing if there are 10 satiki that should save a whole city. That makes no sense in our mind. And indeed, this is a canate. of both. I flipped the page. You know where this comes to the four in a beautiful idea. It speaks about in there two describing like the highest of mountains to your judgment is in the deepest of the depth. Well, is it in the highest of the high or the deepest of the depth? And the obvious Jewish answer is >> both. Good. What's here? So he says, and and this is something for us to keep in mind, wherever Hashem judges a person in that very same place and context, he looks at the person's goodness. And the classic example he brings is of Miriam. She's punished with Sarah and the she's quarantined for a week. Cla the Anan does not move for the entire week. Why? We're in the bracket in seven at 11. Did I say 7? 7-Eleven. You know that in 11 She stood by the Nile and waited for her brother for an hour. Means a short time. Hashem says, "You can't move, but no one else is going to move as a reward for what you did so many years earlier." Do you see here the beauty and the complexity of what we're speaking about? Yes, there's judgment. Yes, there is a fallout for what we've do. And at the same time, this judgment is mitigated by a tremendous amount of of kindness. Yes, ma'am. >> How much do we excuse somebody's deeds because they grew up in an abusive home where the mother was a drug addict versus, you know, did the personal investigation >> and bring you as to the purpose of imprisonment to get them off the street or is it >> right? So again just to to repeat this you have this in in in in in the judgment system today. If a person you know was brought up in a very uh in a home of abuse or poverty, how much do we take that into consideration for what they've done? Like obviously you can't exonerate it at the same time to what extent does that come into the picture and what is the prison system about? Is it just to keep them off the streets or is it to really make them into uh you know members of our society? Yeah, >> I'm not sure that those are are comparable to what's being talked about here because what's being talked about it seems to me is that sees the goodness. >> Good. >> This is something different than growing up in an abusive home and how you respond. >> Right. So how can we compare the two? One is there our environmental effects and the other is the way the shalom sees within us all the inner dynamics and who we are. So what' you say >> also take everything into exactly consideration. >> Well it's part of the larger picture of all the factors. Yeah. Okay. Good. For sure. Let's continue. The bottom line is every person. Let's go into the psyche of this thief. So I look at him and I say, "You're a thief. Stop. Let's look deeper into this individual." And it doesn't have to be a thief. It could be any sin. Yeah, we're using a thief as as our model here, but clearly it's anything that someone does wrong. Within this person is not just a physical body. There's also a soul that there is an ongoing fight. A fight is the wrong word. an ongoing struggle between the ru and the and and the nishama where within deep with inside a person there are these feelings of shame of embarrassment of of guilt and they all form to the essence of this person and therefore when they steal they're stealing it's not 100% there's part of them that really feels what they feel bad you know they they tell a story. I don't remember the story, but a thief comes into a home and sees there's absolutely nothing there. Opens the refrigerator and there's no food and he leaves a 100 shekels. So, you know, even these thieves have what? >> Yeah. >> I think when you feel somebody got what they deserve, that little part of us has to remember at the when we when you did. >> Yes. Right. >> If you remember that doesn't mean beside and say, "Oh, it means we just remember that other side." >> Right. The the taking out of the wine at the seder just keeps us in check in in everything we do. Yeah. >> Also brought up the four sons. >> The four sons. So it's also right. Right. you know the the very famous word I don't want to get off track here but not but at the same time I will make mention for a moment the uh the billi of the Russia haket and she now knock out his teeth so that seems to be a little bit um intense yeah um you know they say that orthodontist you know wrote this to uh no um so the bills The Rebi says means knock out the shin in the word Russia because within the ra is the letter shin which is three prongs when the way we write it right the shin has three prongs which represents the os and when we recognize that even the Russia has within them this goodness if you're able to focus focus in and teach the Russia the shin in them that will undo the wrath that's just surrounding them the outer letters but not the core of who they are. Yes, ma'am. >> Jews as well. >> So that's an excellent question. Do we give the non-Jews the same benefit of doubt as the Jews? Yeah. arguing on behalf of stone. >> Abraham is arguing in behalf of stone. At the same time, we are dealing here with Jewish court of law and that's where I'm beginning and ending. And your question is that great question and rebon shalom is an allencompassing benevolent god. >> Yes ma'am. And then I'm going on. >> So one thing a couple things um um is first of all we're talking Okay. So, that can't be compared to something like murder. Um, and also one thing that I'm not hearing here is at all from the perspective of the victim of the crime. >> Right. Good. Good. Good. You're you're you're raising an excellent question. Where is the victim in this whole story here? We're just talking about the thief. Like the poor guy lost his uh his sheep. At the same time, the victim is compensated by what? four times the amount. So the Torah does very much take into consideration the victim in terms of getting paid not only what you lost but four or five times more. So I'm not so worried about the victim. I'm more worried about about the thief. Yeah, that's that's where we're focused today. Okay, let let's focused a little bit focused the focusing and that would be helpful to focus um source 13 says revival in safer parios it could very well be shar I'm in the squiggly underlined clout you know we're we're assuming here that this thief had bizo what if the thief stole at night what if the thief couldn't care less if he slept on his shoulder, you know, like we're being super uh bending over backwards for this thief who perhaps wasn't even what, you know, doesn't doesn't even feel any level of of uh of of shame or anything to which we lead to and this is the the core idea on on on this for us in 14 and Leah where he says in 14 there's Every human every well every human being let's focus on Jews here has a divine soul that is connected to the rebon shalom. Even if a person isn't focused on this you should know it exists. Let's develop this in RA Eisenberger in English Yom Hashabis. Let's flip to the next page. And he says in source 16 in a safer le of aliopian Zatal discusses the peculiar and seemingly counterintuitive reasoning employed on behalf of this thief karu's factoring in the embarrassment experienced by the thief when clear that the thief as evidenced by his own shameless actions experienced no embarrassment at all. Actions speak louder than words. And this thief made a conscious and calculated decision to steal a lamb. He was pulling the wool over our eyes. No, that's not his death. Yet he was undeterred, providing us with a reliable indicator his actions didn't cause so much as a cursory blush. Wasn't even cheapish about it. Relia explains that sorry this method of accounting employed by Keshu is very different than our own. Hashem takes into account the entirety of the person before meeting out punishment. And that's the operative line, the entirety of the person. Considering both the physical component and the spiritual component. He looks into a person's soul privy to things no human can observe and makes an accounting. I just want us to pause for a moment here. I personally find this very comforting because there's a lot more that goes into what we do than what meets the eye. And you know, sometimes we we mess up and we feel bad we mess up and the person the the the the victim in this case, right, will say like, "How could you have done that?" If you would only know what was going on in my head. If you would only know there's so much that you don't know that doesn't excuse it. There's punishment, there's thin, there's judgment and at the same time rebones takes it into consideration. Are you with me here? Like do you feel that there is being held? Yes. >> I just want to say that the victim is a very good part of this as well because the victim has to have that Correct. >> Yes. >> Right. >> I like what you're saying. The victim also has to be in this place of I was hurt and I need to get retro, you know, uh, compensation and at the same time to open themselves up to there's a lot more going on here than meets the eye, >> right? >> Yes. Exactly. >> Right. He understands what's inside of us. That's all of y 100%. Yeah. >> Only one thing that's pretty good. Oh, I'm doing well today. >> It's written in the black and white. This is the law and it doesn't take in the message that it's giving to the oh maybe it's not so bad. as opposed to there's a kind of condonement like what happened to responsibility on meaning it's a statement it's a statement has compassion I get my finished >> I'm Trying to understand. Does my face look like I'm not really understanding? Is it written all over me? >> It's not so bad. It's not so bad. It's not so bad. I could hear how you could say that. And at the same time, >> if you're going to steal something, steal a sheep. Don't steal it. >> Yeah. Yeah. I don't think that's the message. I could hear how you could hear that. That's the message. I I don't think that's the message. I I don't think that's the message. I think the message is you have to pay four times. That's a lot. That's four times. Generally, if I steal something, you only pay double. I'm paying four times. That's a lot. And at the same time, that's the best I'm going to do. I'm going to take one more comment then I'm focusing. Yeah. So, Hashem comes to Adam and he comes to And he comes to various kings and he says, "What's going on? What happened? What are you doing?" >> Good. >> Hashem knows perfectly well what people are doing. >> Right. He's coming for us to ask us. >> Extremely great. He's being extremely respectful. >> Right. Right. >> And he's giving us a chance >> to do Chua to own up to it. 100% 100%. And that's and that's that balance. Um, I I'm still processing your question. I I gotta I gotta process it. I got I'm working on it. >> Like a lot of times the whole question isn't only take them off the street so there's individuals involved. Let's hold it. Let's hold it. Let's hold it. Let's Let's move on here. Um, in this case, the thief himself will be distant from his own soul. Asterisk and 16. Not perceived in his existence, unaware of its constant presence. Yet, Hashem sees. He sees the paralyzing shame endured by the thief's soul as it carried the lamb through the street. Hashem can feel the disgrace and degradation it felt. The person goof may not have felt the shame. At the same time, the soul feels the shame. And that's the operative idea here that we sometimes in our own selves don't even realize what we're feeling but our souls our nishas do and that's what it means rebon shalom takes everything into consideration and that's why he says I'm moving to uh 18 here um no sin is ever committed with the consent of the entire person in other words it's impossible for one to ever be fully invested in its sin. The nama is always being dragged along against its will despite its protests. Raiser was known to say, we're going to come back to this at the end. When one sins with a groan in heaven, they make sure to record that it was done with a groan. And when one sins confidently and without regret, they write that the sin was committed without a groan. The difference and distance between these two in terms of punishment is shmay var. It's accurate to say that every sin committed by a Jew is done with a groan. The groan of the nishama. The shama is unwillingly dragged along kicking and screaming to every sin. And this, let's take this a little bit further, my friends. In the end in 19, the judgments of Hashem are true alltogether just offers a following insight into this puk. When determining proper judgment had takes Hashem takes everything into account together. What does yak mean? Three things. One, it's referring to both the gof and the nama. Hashem calculates the pain caused to the nama by the goof's action and we ourselves may not even be aware of it. Two, he also takes into account the pain caused to the sinner's family as their pain is a direct result of the sin. The pain and embarrassment felt by the sinner's father and mother, by his grandparents and siblings also included in Hashem's calculation. Now watch this. This is last takes into account his own immense pain. We are all Ma Hashem exists within each and every one of us. And when we sin, that divine spark experiences a deep form of pain and agony. Hashem is a victim of our sin as well. Wow. We aren't even what? Aware of this. This is this is just the depth and complexity of what we're speaking about here. And therefore, my friends, >> I'm missing a page. Do you have the next page? >> How did I not get it? >> Oh, you're right. It is on the back. I'm glad someone has intelligence here because I'm not doing so well here. Thank you very much. One of the major lessons of this week's parish is to try and emulate Hashem's ways of judging people to look beyond the physical to understand there's a holy frequent flickering light inside the sinner. One that is never extinguished and remains pure no matter the circumstances. And that's what was mentioned o in the back there that we as the victim have to just have a little bit more leeway in understanding that we don't understand you know instead of just flying off the handle. How could you have done this? Whoa. There's a lot more complexity that exists in our interpersonal relationships. Which then brings us to upshot number one. of this discussion today and that is cupboard. What we learn from the rebon shalom who treats this thief differently is the message for us how we need to look at people in a let's look at the entirety of a person what is about 24 really we're going to have on this thief yes because this thief has It has a godly soul in them and we have an obligation of of you see we're coming up to soon students on their level were we're were held responsible and he says here in the arrow and this is intense that one of the questions that is asked to a person after 120 years is did you make your friend king with with a good feeling like how did you treat the the person near you? Right? The classic example that's given is you have a joke and you're in the middle of telling the joke and somebody who already knows the punchline says what? Ah, let me tell you the punch line. Could you just be quiet for a few minutes and give them the pleasure of what >> of saying the punch line? Another example, you hear good news. Someone gets married, engaged, child, whatever the news is, and it's really good news. And then somebody else comes over to you and says, "Did you hear?" And you say, "Yeah, I heard." What did they want to do? They wanted to share it with you. They thought about sharing with you. Why do they want to share with you? Not just that you should know the information. Why are they really sharing it with you >> to have the pleasure of seeing your joy in receiving the news by saying, "Oh, I heard it already. What have you just done? You've just taken away that to make a person feel good." Yeah. >> I know it already. I'm going to lie really by >> you know what? I'm not impressed. That's I hear it. I'm not impressed. I'm not impressed. I'm not impressed. You don't have to say I didn't hear it. You can just say what? Wow, that's great news. Is it any less of a great news? Right? So, if you you're you're really careful about what you say, don't say what I didn't hear. to just say tell me and then it's like they go [laughter] I I really >> Yes. >> I was thinking about the cont. >> Yes, that's it. Let the joy be unleashed. >> Yeah. people tend to emphasize the the truth >> the truth and we have to work a little bit on the >> on the yeah >> where I'm from my field is I'm okay with it when it comes to but when it comes to more heinous crimes >> Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. I I hear you. I hear you. I hear you. I hear you. I hear you. I hear you. I hear you. And I at the same time I tell you that the human condition is complex. And I'm I'm not I'm not getting people off the hook. There's punishment. And at the same time, human beings are complex. And I am going to ask everybody a favor that we're holding questions until the end. C can we can we can we hold the questions and comments to the end? And that way there's hope that I'll get to the end. Let's just talk about this idea of kavrios. I want to talk about it for a few minutes because I think that this is the upshot that I want us to walk away with for life 24. Now that I just told everyone to hold their comments and I'm not being sensitive to people's needs to share. No, here we go. 24 the second 24 on the bottom speaks about every person needs to be recognized. And the life depends on it. Said we can't live without honor. If you take away someone's entire honor, they're going to die. And this is really the Holocaust. When you make people into numbers and not people, you take away their dignity, you take away their selves. And this is Victor Frankle's book man's search for meaning being able to find that I have this inner sense of self inner sense of worth this says 25 and the asteriska when I recognize the inner kaduca that a person has then it it forces me to behave in an appropriate way. You know, I just had this personally last week. Um, as part of my job in teaching in seminary, I meet with girls and I met with a girl last week who has tremendous social anxiety. Like, she didn't look me in the eye the entire half hour. Very shy, very um Are you getting the picture? And um it was it was it was a painful conversation on my part because it wasn't a conversation. I don't know what it was. So I was trying to draw out from her like she's like a fly in the wall in class. Very few friends, you know, like some people just go through life a little bit invisible and that is painful beyond words. So I was trying to draw out from her. Does she have any talents? Anything she enjoys? So, she told me she likes writing, drawing cartoons. So, I said to her, "Do me a favor. The next time we have class, bring me uh I'd like to see what you drew." Yesterday was the first time I, you know, she was in a class of mine and when I took attendance, I said to her, we'll call her Sarah, that's not her name. I said, "Sarah, did you remember the cartoons?" Her whole face lit up. She said, "Yes, I have it with me." People need to be seen. People need to be appreciated. all of us, you know, every single one sitting here in whatever community you're from, and we're a cross- range community here's knows of people who either knock at their door or sit in front of the maklet asking for money. Do any of you know what I'm talking about? Do you all have uh somebody in your mind's eye? Do you know their name? Do you know [clears throat] anything about them? Someone was telling me when I taught this on Sunday, she was telling me that they had when she was growing up, there was a person who sold shoelaces for a dollar. Now, this person is in her 70s. So growing up, we're going back. She says you could get three pairs of shoelace for a dollar. A dollar was a lot of money, but people would buy shoelaces from this person because she said, "My mother went over to him who could not even afford a dollar for the shoelaces." Are you getting a picture? And says to him, "Do you own a winter coat?" said, "My mother was a seamstress, so she knew about what size he was and found somebody to give him a winter coat. It's not about the shoelaces. It's about the people. It's about treating people with the kaduca that they have inherently within them." And it's fascinating. Raulba speaks about in 26 says the honor of your student should be beloved to you like your own honor. The honor of your friend like the mob the way you have awe of your rebi and the awe of your rebi should be like moa shamayim the fear of heaven. So he notes that each one is a higher level. You know the the student like yourself, your friend like a Rebi, a Rebi like Marish. Why is it always one notch higher? He says because it's so hard to get it right. So that if you go aim a little bit higher so then maybe what you'll you'll hit it right. And he notes here I'm doing this outside in 27 covers. What's so hard about cover is that while you have and you have cover for a spouse, a rebi, you don't have really any positive mitzvos of cover in the Torah. You have a lot of what you shouldn't do, right? Don't embarrass somebody. Don't call them my nickname. But you know Raoba says why? Because it's so hard to really honor a person. Every person has to know themselves and to look at that person and it's it's it's it's a formation. It's a creation. When I look at this person, how can you be able to honor them? I'm not telling you what to do. I want you to what? >> I want you to figure it out yourself because when you figure it out, you're gonna tap into the inherent covet that somebody has. And he brings down here from your in 28 about writing letters. Now, writing letters is a uh >> lost art. >> It's a lost art. That's the best words I was looking for. Thank you. It's a lost art. At the same time, some of the ideas that he brings here are very relevant for our lives and our form of communication. When you write, are you thinking about yourself or about the other person? >> What do I mean by that? I'll tell you. Do I write about Do I say in my email or text or whatever or [clears throat] voice note, "How are you feeling today? I miss seeing you today. I'm focused on where the person is at. You know the example which is a classic example is you take somebody out for lunch for their birthday. What restaurant do you go to? The Chinese restaurant because you like Chinese. It's irrelevant if they like it or not or you go where they like. [clears throat] Is your own focus about yourself or about them? And he says that just like there's a vanu in there's a van. So when I have a younger audience, the example that I give and I'll still give it is when you're writing a note to your child's teacher or rebby. So often you pull out from your pocketbook an old receipt or bank. Do you know what I'm talking about? Any of you ever know what I'm talking about here? and you just scribble it out and then you flip it over and you write. Yeah, it's horrible. I agree. You write a a note to somebody, you have a you have a pad that's just [snorts] and I'll add what's really classic in writing or in speech is mention the person's name because that's the most beloved thing to them. An example of kavrios that [snorts] the gives in 29 based on theer is in lamina. It's in the mitzvah of pa. The mitzvah of pa is you leave a corner of your field and the poor people come to take it. So wouldn't it be easier? You already have a staff. Let them cut down the wheat. Let them pick all the apples and then you make a pile and let them come and take it. You're making them schle to the field and take it themselves. I I mean that's double the amount of work. Wrong. This poor person doesn't have a field of his own. And he feels bad by him going into a field and having to cut the wheat and pick the fruit himself. For a few moments, he feels like a what? Like a boa bus. He feels great about himself. What does it take for us to make somebody feel what? Good. That's what it's about. That's what Yiddish is about. How can I restore honor and dignity to people? Because this is what is missing for most of our lives. And this is what people crave more than anything. Rev uh Fryfeld says and he lived this in 34. He says, "A person that has sever looks at another person through a crack through a keyhole. His very narrow view of the other person, very constricted view. He sees only one aspect of the person. Every person has many aspects in aspects. It's impossible to give a person complete lips if you do not see the complete person. So the Mishna says another story ra that if you give another person all the gifts in the world but do it with a sour face it's as if you did nothing. Do you know why? Listen to this line. Walk home with it. Because you didn't give it to the person. You gave it to a need. And the need is not the person. It's simply something that he lacks. The person, the real person, is a composite of all the aspects of the person. If you give him a warm shim, if you address the essence of a person, that's worth more than all the gifts in the world. There's aidic statement, if only we would love the biggest sadic as much as the Almighty loves the biggest Russia. What does this mean? The Almighty loves bad people. Of course not. It means the Almighty sees with an eye and toe of a good eye. He sees the whole person. When we see someone as a Russia, the Almighty sees all the aspects of a person. His fine meos, his kindness, his good quality. The Almighty does not look at people through a crack. He looks at them in their totality. And that's the message that we're trying to get across today. There's so much that needs that's found in a person. And sometimes those aspects of a person the person themselves is not even aware of. It's a sh it's a neesh. It's the gulf. And even when people do terrible things, there's still goodness in the person. I am not talking about I'm talking about you and me. Do you know what I mean by that? about abusive people. >> I'm not telling you about abusive people. I'm glad you think no one here is abusive. That was very good. Oppress honor. That's what Rabio is talking about. is what we need to live in the way I look at another person, the way I treat another person. Hold the door open for somebody. Look behind you when you go through the door. You know that's my favorite line. See that there are other people out there in this world. Ravugasi a little Torah here. 36avote is one is a it's a spiritual part of us is one of the strongest motivators in a person. People will do things or not do things because of their what their [clears throat] their honor and their dignity means a tremendous amount. They don't want to impinge on their own on their honor. They don't do certain things. And if you see how great honor is, we understand that when you make light of somebody, cavode comes from the word cave. It's heavy. It's intense. light cala is a curse. The worst thing you can do to somebody is to impinge on that. And we all know this. If someone makes a comment to you that's not such a nice comment, we're in a bad mood all day. Why? Because somebody upset our honor. You know, I'll tell you a misa shaha that a friend of mine told me also in the publishing business and uh used a mom and pop publisher. Do you know what a mom and pop publisher is? A small publisher. So, they said they were going over the acknowledgements with the uh publisher and they had a line, "Thank you for so and so for working on the cover." And then a few paragraphs down, "Thank you to this publisher for printing the book." And this publisher said, "Did you see what you just wrote?" And they said, "What's wrong? You use the same words to thank the person who did the cover as you did to thank me for publishing the book. And I worked much harder. Do you see how sensitive we need to be to people's honored that the same word thank you can't be used this is what we're talking about here this is the message to walk away with here thief no thief let's learn the message for us Their bonus shalom takes into consideration there's a human being here. Are we able to see the person behind the outer guys? We able to see the nishama that's that's that's imprisoned within the person that's struggling to come out. We are so judgmental. That's the nuda number one for today. Nuda number two. I'm going to second upshot from this rashi and then we're going to add one final idea. So the first upshot is rebuttal shalom. The idea for today is rebuttal shalom takes everything into consideration. Upshot number one for our lives is cos how we treat people. Upshot number two is what we made mention before that I want to focus on just for a minute now is that when we do leave the thief aside when we do a mitzvah or a the shalom takes into consideration all that went into that mitzvah a and this is what we had seen before that you do an ara and you go oh my gosh I can't believe I just did that is different than you don't say that and It doesn't even hit the radar as uh the ners points out of 41 we say on the squiggly bonus forced willingly and that's the difference force means I know I did it but I feel bad that I did it difference then oh who cares I did it so I'll do another sin. So recognize this. We we goof, you know, we let's let's be real here. You ever been in a situation where you hear lashinhara and or you say lashinhara or you heard lashhara you want to say over? Let's use that example and you say I shouldn't say it, I should say it, I shouldn't say it. I should say it. I should back and forth and then you can't hold it back. It's just too good. So you say it. That's not the same as just what just saying it. And the flip side is init 43. If this guy is gonna have it a little bit easier and he's not even paying attention to these, how much more so, how much more so in good things that a person is voted Hashem and it comes with difficulty. How much more so one is going to be rewarded that the reon shalom takes into consideration the you come to a shir on Tuesday morning and you miss your bus and you say I miss my bus I'm going to have to take another bus I'm going to have to wait should I go should I not and you come oh my gosh do you know what reward you get for all of that effort we don't even recognize this this is the greatness, right? It's difficult. It's hard. I'm going to work at it. I'm This mitzvah is not easy for me. I'm going to make an effort. I want us to walk away with today. The shalom takes all of this into account. We shouldn't feel like all of my efforts are wasted. No. We're starting to learn at a later age in life and we've never learned before and it's hard and it's challenging and I have to pay, you know, double amount of attention and focus. It's all rewarded. So that's the message for today and then I'm just going to add one nuda. The message is Hashem has mercy on us and Hashem has mercy on all of us that we don't aren't even privy to knowing what are those different parts of us the nephesh the g Hashem takes in consideration the pain of our nephesh. He takes in consideration those around us and he takes into consideration his own humiliation when we've sinned. Upshot number one, cover it up real treat people with honor. See the good in people. B out the good. Don't respond to the need. Get to know the person. Two, know that all the effort, whether it's the a or the mitzvah, all of the correct Hashem takes into account. Now, I want to flip this around in a different way. 45. There is a that says I'm in the squiggling. One of the things that Hashem sometimes does is he punishes a person through a physical aspect that they have rather than punishing the person themselves. And the Gmorra gives us an example. A rich person is affected by his ox. A poor person is affected by his sheep and then uh the ammona is affected by her tarnacola. You know every person on their socioeconomic level. So he says the following you see here that a poor person their socioeconomic level is a sheep. When a person steals nine and 3/4 times out of 10, if not 10 out of 10, it's because the person is what? Poor. I get it. If you steal a sheep, because that's what you would want. Here goes. Hello. However, the arrow if he steals a sheep according to his level even though it's a terrible a you pay four times if this has the to steal in ax how low of a no tear his punishment's even greater he should have been satisfied with his sheep which is his level terbah to now steal something that's what above your socioeconomic level so therefore I'm punishing him by what having to pay now five times the amount and not four times and that's the complexity of what we're understanding here is that the rebon shalom takes everything into consideration you're a poor person steal the sheep. Now you're going for the axah and I'm going to punish you with even what? Don't have your eyes set on something that's what beyond where you're at. Now I'll take questions. >> The opposite is also true that there's a person >> right you give it to according to the person's need when you give stuck. Good. Yeah. He said that there are many times when people say good things about you. So number one gives you the goal to strive to actualize what they say and number two if somebody hurts you embarrasses you fall back on that feeling of cover and it doesn't bother you >> right if you have that strength of covote it won't bother you you know let me just end with the story >> confidence >> and confidence yeah let me just end with the story and and and then we'll call it a day when the boys were in Shanghai in mirror. There were very few weddings there even though the 400 boys and um they would have when they had a wedding they would praise the boys to the ceiling. He has the mind of the shagasar and the understanding and the depth and went went to town. So they went to the rashiva or the mashk and they said talking about ms this is lying this boy does not have the brain of the shagasar or the understanding or the or the or the we should abolish this custom and he said absolutely not going back now to 1930s 1940s he said it's so rare for us to hear one boy compliment another boy and this is the most beautiful music to my ears to be able to hear one person complimenting another. We are keeping this minhug and that's something we need to really work on in our lives. Complimenting, building people up. >> Right. Right.