Shidduchim Through the Pandemic (complete)

welcome to a very very very very special event the initiative together with the orthodox union the ou and uh it's gonna be a very very inspiring enough uplifting program shidduchim during the pandemic it's been a very crazy three four five months uh since march and uh you're gonna be hearing about creative tips tools and guidance to navigate and expanding your dating network we're gonna be hearing from world we now lecture our very dear friend robbie zechariah warstein and we're going to be hearing from experts from various different shidduchim initiatives and is very excited to be part of this program we want to thank our very energetic mrs odelia jacobs for initiating another great program and we're really really excited about this whole concept uh you'll be hearing a lot about uh this whole initiative the khazak shirak initiative and the magician we're looking to help and make a nucleus for all the singles all across uh america uh to to bring everyone together to one uh united uh uh uh organization one united uh form uh to for guidance of shidduchim um we're going to start off the program by calling upon our very dear friend the hazak events manager robbie above who does so much for carly's trial he's going to be introducing the experts for this part of the program tonight we are honored to hear from four experts in the field of shidduchim this event is being presented is partnered together with khazakh and the orthodox union so we are honored to hear opening remarks from rabbi moshe hauer who's the executive vice president of the orthodox union rabbi howard hi thank you so much um i am not rav hauer i am david fardo i am here in his stead uh extending wishes of divrei brachav um and gratitude on behalf of the orthodox union we're very happy and excited to be able to partner on this event bringing it to fruition very important to hear from the people who are the experts in the field and i'm excited as you are to learn from them tonight a quick thought if you look in the gemara and bacha talks about why we celebrate this act this day of romance on tuba specifically there's a list of things that taka don't seem very romantic so the list includes the uh permission to the generation of the desert to go into israel who are otherwise condemned to die in the desert so good news but not very romantic or the fact that the last king of israel allah allowed removes all the guards that were preventing the people in the north from coming down through shalom to worship in your life together great news not very romantic or the fact that we were allowed to bury the dead of betar on this day uh great news but not very romantic so you know what what does all of this have to do with romans and how are we to understand tubav and i'd like to very quickly suggest that uh it's a day not of romance but yes of love and love is not just between a man and a woman a husband and wife but it's really the commitment and the sacrifice and what we do for each other that uh on on this day that we committed to going into israel and building a nation for all of us that we would represent hashem's people on earth that we uh we were allowed to honor our debt that we were allowed to worship together whether you lived in this kingdom or that kingdom we were all jews and i think that's that's what love is about and um i think that's what this event is about sometimes can be very lonely sometimes dating can feel like you're on your own and you're fighting for yourself and it's not true it shouldn't be true nothing we do in life uh we do alone uh it takes a village so this event is not just for the people who are dating this is for your for their parents and for their friends and for their cousins and for their neighbors um i heard her recently a story about a guy and a girl dating you know in the end didn't work out fine but the guy really thought you know she'd be great for my friend um and made the recommendation and they went out and they got married uh and they're happy thank god with kids so that act saying you know not for me but maybe for for my friend was that an act of romance no but i think it was an act of love uh and uh my thanks to the people who are speaking tonight who worked hardly day and night uh for different organizations but for one cause uh and again my uh my warmest wishes and hatlacha on this uh new initiative hazak is embarking on glad to be able to do this event together and looking forward to seeing your hatslacha ravyaniv and ravi and the tireless odelia looking forward to seeing and dancing together with everybody at the next simcha in person hashem our next speaker is mr mark goldman mr goldman is the founder and ceo of sawyu at sinai soya sinai is a leading jewish dating and matchmaking service and website which that enables singles to mat to meet shahnem and to date they have they have successfully made over 3 500 shidduchim matches it's an amazing accomplishment for more information about this worthy definitely a great organization great resource go to soyuz sinai.com it's honored to call upon mr mark goldman thank you to rabbi moshe hauer rabbi david pardo from the ou rabba yani mirov and mr robbie above kazakh and of course the ever persistent energetic and caring odelia jacobs for coordinating this event for the second year the coronavirus has created an incredible challenging environment for people all over the world there has been devastating loss of life and just here in the united states alone 150 000 deaths many people's economic lives have been shattered as we just reported second quarter ggp plunged by a worst ever 32.9 percent due to coveted virus induced shutdowns to say that the past four months have been incredibly challenging will be understating the tragic impact that the covenant and pandemic has created many people's lives will never be the same may hashem comfort all those who have been impacted and help each person move forward we are celebrating tu b'av and we can learn directly from this celebration how we believe as jewish people that we need to emerge from incredible times of pain and suffering just one week ago in tisha b'av we sat on the ground and mourned the numerous jewish tragedies including the destruction of the first and second base of magdush only one week later we are celebrating one of the happiest days of the year toubav one where men and women used to go out and celebrate and find their shirts we learn from here that we cannot and that we should not sit at home and endlessly bemoan our circumstances and no matter how hard go out into the world and possibly take action and move forward move our lives forward and constructively move the lives forward of those who around us we launched solely with sinai more than 15 years ago as our way to positively affect change and improvement within the shidduch the matchmaking process our approach and system features continuously improved and evolved over the years but the basic premise remains unchanged solution combines powerful technology accessibility of the internet while emphasizing privacy and striving to keep the personal touch of the shotgun people enter their own resume of information then the shahram get to know each person and review each match to see if a person's unique personality and needs are met soyuzane was never meant to replace the shahranim but make their jobs significantly easier the over three hundred shukranam who use the platform are currently helping over thirty five thousand singles find their brochure their spouse the over three thousand five people who have now successfully found their spouse through our network of shakhanem can attest to its success we have also expanded and created a platform where any major organization who wanted to help their students their participants and their alumni could have their own website free of charge they did not have to spend the time money or their limited resources in recreating what soyuzhane had already successfully done we have therefore become the system of choice for 20 major jewish organizations including yeshivo seminaries and outreach organizations not surprising we work with the three incredible partners of today's shidduchim during the pandemic event yeshiva university through their you connects platform the orthodox union through their jlic connections platform and most recently began working with adopted shotguns platform three shidduch platforms are now able to synergistically help each other make more shidduchim and more families during the past three months there has been a big shift in the way that people are interacting and meeting each other as soyuzhane has repeatedly done over the years we spoke with our partners our channel and our users to determine which tools they needed to find their spouse in the new covet environment group zoom dating where 10 to 12 participants are in a zoom room and a moderator assists in moderating and facilitating the group was a new phenomenon people who never use the internet to help them date are now group dating online many organizations were trying to run their zoom events but there were common challenges they encountered in running them that made it extremely difficult it was difficult to capture relevant information to correctly place people in appropriate zoom rooms it was even more challenging to track which people had already been introduced obtained timely feedback from participants regarding who they were interested in and finally difficulty for shachanem to follow up on the post-event matches we therefore created a new soyuz module that organizations were allowed to use that organized automated and facilitated the running of the events thousands of potential matches have already been managed through our zoom based module it is important for zoom dating participants to adapt and properly prepare for their new dating experience a few but important helpful tips when joining events are the followers first use a laptop and not a cell phone to check out what angle and check out what angle your camera is at as you do not want to be looking at people looking at your chin rather than your entire face prepare for a video date as you would for a normal date there is no need to overdress but put some effort at least from the waist up choose a backdrop that shows off your interests and do not forget to clean up the room around you ensure good lighting if possible use natural light from a window if using light from your home to make sure it's not too dark or too strong that you're not in a halo and there's no shadow surrounding you a light in front of you is best at approximately a 45 degree angle but most importantly and finally whatever environment you set up test your device and the environmental surrounding make sure you have a strong internet connection and the sound quality is appropriate there could always be glitches and preparing in advance is a great way to ensure the greatest possibility of success yes this is not necessarily the way you expect it to be dating but we learned from tu b'av you need to be proactive and sometimes even go out of your usual comfort zone and as i said at last year's kazakh event soyuzane's goal continues to be to help every person to find their match by creating a system which improves the shut-up process and supplies a system which makes every shotgun and every event organizer's job significantly easier their time should be spent on making matches and less time on fundraising and performing administrative tasks a special thank you to all the shahnam who dedicate a myriad of hours matching people and to each and every one of you who are spending your valuable time helping others find their spouse and by sharing it thank you mr goldman for your informative words thank you so much um and again uh to contact sawyer sinai uh go to the website soyuzcine.com for more information about their amazing resource about the amazing organization which has helped out someone shadowcom our next our next speaker is robertson marjorie glott who's representing you connects which is an amazing organization amazing resource which itself which is a self-funded program that offers unique social events targeted matchmaking and educational programs to to foster healthy relationships towards marriage edmonton marjorie glott is the special projects coordinator for you connects and arranges programming and advises community and initiatives for singles and to contact for more information about this great organization go to you connects.com is an honor to call pawn rabbits in glad what a great idea this event for shidduchim shout out to adelia jacobs the hazak team the oh you rabbi wallerstein and the other speakers of course isn't it wonderful how so many programs and people can come together to bring people together to make shidduchim the special projects coordinator for you connects and i'm here because i have important and good news to share especially during the pandemic and after the three weeks it's always good to hear good news and you know what we have found recently the dating world has shifted and it's not necessarily for the worse at you connects we've been barak hashem successful in the past our database of thousands of singles under the excellent solute sinai system is just one part of our non-profit program yuconex is more than just that we're open to the entire jewish world not only yeshiva university students and we are really a one-stop dating resource with dozens of volunteer matchmakers three wonderful staff connectors matchmakers a friendly administrator who answers questions all under the supervision of dr efratzo balofsky we do much more we do matchmaker training and on sensitivity and professionalism we run numerous social events we offer practical and personal guidance we do publications and we are a one-stop resource for the jewish world and we have made barak hashem with the help of hashem we've brought 422 couples together that's engagements that's 844 people have been united thanks to yu connects when kovitch struck our area in march everything shifted the dating world was upended it was unprecedented times for all of us unmarried men and women wondered if their own personal lockdown would continue and for how long one young woman texted us she said i'm 28 years old having three months in a shutdown is just going to be another obstacle in my way how will i ever get a chance to meet but i said i'm here to share good news and indeed there is on three levels from yu connects for the singles themselves and for cloud israel why because although social distancing exists or maybe because it exists our reach has now become greater what do i mean by that at you connects the strength in our resources quickly became apparent questions started coming in fast and furious can i still date do i have to wear a mask do i have to go in separate cars am i allowed to travel to meet someone's parents and these questions kept coming into our office but we're fortunate to be able to rely and turn to great golem such as roche yeshiva like rav herschel shakhtar rav mordechai willy gravitz fee sobolovsky and we relied on the guidance and medical expertise of my husband rabbi dr aaron glatt an infectious disease specialist so within days we were able to disseminate safe dating guidelines and answer some of those questions but we also supplied more we supplied tangible ideas for facetime or zoom dating virtual dating we gave links to the san diego zoo we said take this course together or here's a simple online game to play we developed small group conversations with expert facilitators zoom with whoms we call them they were fun questions that made people think and laugh together we ran a marriage enhancement seminar that was very popular at the end of march we had something called the new world of dating webinar with experts and hundreds of people logged on to listen we're running meet the matchmaker nights where people can virtually meet matchmakers and get to know them from all over and you know what we're finding we have people joining from across the globe one 30 year old physician was able to be part of our seminar from wisconsin others joined from california and one young man stayed up until four in the morning to participate in the discussions from israel so why uconnex has gotten creative and we've been able to expand our reach but on a more personal and heartwarming level we are finding that people are more open when a match idea is proposed people say it's just a phone call or a video chat there's less effort less stress it's easier to accept people have a why not attitude and if a woman comes from a different yeshiva or the guys not in a certain career or even if they're not the ages they expected somebody to be somebody's a little older people are becoming more accepting and they're realizing once they meet that of course it doesn't really matter some of those externals so the reach of you connects for the singles population themselves and finally even for claudius rowell is becoming broader communities from toronto to london have contacted us to learn about our initiatives and share what they are doing programs such as this are uniting people much like this we're exchanging ideas we're collaborating on different ways to help what's app chats are popping up and exchanging ideas lovely people are offering their backyards as venues for dating everyone is joining together and wanting to help and they seem excited and it's working in this may we all continue to join together in strength and in good health to continue to build future jewish homes for all of claudia israel i'd also want to add if anybody has any questions or wants to contact us at you connects please feel free to contact us through our website wwe our information and contact information is there and we're happy to answer any questions thank you thank you robinson glott for your informative presentation everyone should check out you connect which is a great resource great organization which is doing so much for the jewish community for more information about why it connects go to the website you connect dot com our next speaker is miss mrs bayla yaniv representing partners in shidduchim partisan shidduchim is a free shomer shabbos shidduch database which enables singles or representative or representative to be empowered by searching and making a match on their very own which is which is uh which is which is an amazing thing for more information about partners in shidduchim go to the website partners in shidduchim.com mrs bela yaniv is the is the founder of partners in shidduchim and is honored to call upon mrs yaniv hi there's a famous mushel that most of you are probably familiar with but it is so relevant to today that i must share it again a storm was coming and the city's inhabitants were warned to flee as the rain waters flooded the streets suvs and jeeps came to help evacuate those who stayed behind but a man refused to leave his home saying he was waiting for hashem to save him the suv left the flood waters rose and the man had to climb to the second floor of his house a boat came by a window to rescue him but he refused to get on saying he was waiting for hashem to save him and the boat left as the waters continued to rise he climbed to the roof of his home and a helicopter came to rescue along with a team and they threw down a rope but he refused to climb up saying he was waiting for hashem to save him sadly he drowned and when he got to the gates of shamayim hashem said why didn't you continue living and the man replied i was waiting for you hashem to save me and hashem said i did through messengers and vehicles i sent an suv a boat a helicopter but you didn't let me save you when my husband and i founded partners in shidduchim it was designed to be unique in its mission we view it as a modern day to above there is no stronger message we can say today on tuba when the most precious jewish girl in the old days put on a white dress went to the fields to be matched with her shirt and precious young men went out to find their kala family and friends and community were involved in this festive gathering we at partners in shidduchim with the same hashgaffa with endorsements of leading rebounding and aggressive all of america and hazak invite our precious sons and daughters to join our database for reasons of modesty or to protect the singles privacy for those who are more sensitive everyone has the option whether or not to include a photo and to maintain anonymity they can choose not to include their last name on the profile but the point is to be out there rather than only let designated matchmakers search the site we allow everyone who undergoes a profile review and screening to have access it's no different if you go to a wedding to show or to the supermarket and see someone single and try to rent them a off people have to be out there and accessible today especially during corona when people are not socializing as much this is a critical sight for singles to be able to set themselves up and to have others set them up and we protect them singles do not and have to include their personal contact information but can have a personal advocate liaison a pal to be in contact and do the screening another great tool we have is a search tool you can search by age height gender hashkafa geography and more you don't have to waste time going through thousands of profiles but have the computer sort out those that fit your criteria we have dozens of well-known professional and active who access the profiles but that's really what not what the site is about this is about about empowering each and every one of you singles fathers mothers grandparents aunts uncles cousins friends neighbors co-workers the list goes on to be your pal your personal advocate liaison hashem and we do not know who's going to be the shaliah but it could be you all you need is a half hour each week go on the site check new people who signed up and set up people you know or even people you don't know we're also working with a team of volunteers to help singles write better profiles remember this is a fully free site no one pays any fees so there is no excuse why every single person watching this now does not go on the site today and upload profiles of at least one single they know and if you know more singles sign them up or spend a little time every week setting people up or if you're a good writer help our singles improve their profiles as i said just think of how many more shidduchim would be made if each of us would just take a little time every week this is an opportunity partners in shidduchim empowers everyone to make sudah again we are empowered and we want you to be empowered in participating in this global network to help you get over your hurdles and under the khapa partners in shidduchim accommodates the sensitivities of different segments of shabbos of the shabbos world with just a few clicks you can bring singles to the so to summarize there are five points one don't wait be proactive go on our website www.partnersinchadohim.com number two those of you who are not comfortable to go on the website whether because of smears or privacy we provide an option for your profile you don't need to load a load a picture you need only put your first name and designate a pal who will screen the requests reaching out to match you and join you and browsing together for matches and work on your behalf to make the match happen number three the platform empowers everyone and i will reiterate parents grandparents siblings friends and family co-workers and singles themselves and shadhanim to utilize this global show network to match singles you know and singles that you don't know number four we cannot emphasize enough the importance of getting a pal to respond to people who want to match you and advocate on your behalf besides besides the professional this system enables you to be personally involved with someone who's working specifically on your behalf and if you need to learn more about what a pal is all about please email us number five we are endorsed by leading rebanum across the world and the goddess israel of america and hazak we look forward to reaching for to you reaching out to us email support partners in shidduchim.com to answer your questions you matter to us and let us know when you get get engaged so that we can celebrate the good news with you thank you mrs yaniv for your words and for all the great work you do on behalf of the singles for more information about partisan shidduchim go to the website partners in shidduchim.com again the website is partners in shidduchim.com everyone should check out that amazing resource um our next speaker is mrs lisa elephant who's representing adopted shotgun adopter shotgun partners with shules and communities with dedicated to make the shidduch process targeted and sustainable every single can have a dedicated shotgun to advocate and guide them mrs lisa elephant is the founder of adopter shotgun is an honor to call upon mrs lisa elephant okay good evening everyone my name is lisa elephant i am one of the proud directors and co-founders of adapter shotgun m ki tov it's truly an honor for me to speak for hazak and for my dear friend odely jacobs odelia has actually seen firsthand what adopter shotgun has been accomplishing over these last few months she's with us together on our shotgen whatsapp chat only open to adopt a shotgun she sees what happens on a daily basis and i was actually thinking this morning that odelia and hazak we probably adopted shock and probably owes you some some charcoalness going back a year graciously invited me to speak about adapter shotgun last year when it was just really like a seedling of an idea bar hashem the grew and grew and grew to an amazing amazing organization we've had over 15 shidduchim this year from shul's inter schools from the adopt-a-shotgun program and through another program that i'll talk about just towards the end of my speech that i created over zoom due to the pandemic we just celebrated our second shadow they started on zoom then they met in person and now the barak hashem one is married and one is barak hashem engaged so adelia called me last year to speak about adaptation i was a little hesitant i'm not really a speaker as a lot of you know i don't enjoy speaking i leave that to my brother-in-law zucharia and to my amazing sister heavy but i had no choice i she connected me last year to mark goldman from soyuz sinai who has been an incredible incredible person who has created the adopter shockham database from scratch for us he he has a share he has a part in everything that we are accomplishing and that we hope to accomplish we also made connections with margie glott and efrat sobolovsky from you connect and besides becoming great personal friends we also have been doing um projects together which also just you know usually there was like why you does why you and you know adapter shock and does adapt to them you know we've kind of like crossed all boundaries here which is what we really really want to do so please khazakh nadali remind us we do owe you shachanes and we are really looking forward to doing many many things with the partnerships that we have created um on this special yantif of two above the day that is mesut ozil for shidduchim i'm especially especially excited to talk a little bit about what adopter shocking has been accomplishing the last year both pre-pandemic and post-pandemic pre-pandemic we created adapter shotgun with a current and still a future goal of creating a platform where no single gets left behind we believe that every single has the same entitlement the same right um the same right to be recognized by shachanem there there's no reason why one girl should be getting 20 20 suggestions and one girl should be getting none we really want to try to even the playing field at the same time and many of those may not see this my way but i i see it as being in the field chatham need to be recognized by the singles and by their families as people who spend untold hours networking and scaring the world for your child's bashert um sometimes finding that one person that needle in the haystack right away sometimes it might take months sometimes it may take years we all know that we are not in control we are all just messengers and we all dive in every day to be good messengers um but we have to know that any shotgun who devotes so many hours of her or his time to this indian is working for the clown is working for you whether it's you whether it's your cousins your friend's cousin whether it's your neighbor whether it's your school member nobody doesn't know anybody that doesn't need a shut-off it's not possible the list goes on and on a busy shotgun on any day can receive over 100 whatsapps 50 to 60 calls all calls and whatsapps that the shaka wants to return she wants to respond and return all those calls she really does but she often can't due to family and job responsibilities it can take i can wake up in the morning it can literally take me an hour and a half just to respond from dates just to respond to questions and i can't tell you that i can always get to it and it does cause it does cause frustration but trust me you know you're frustrated and the shankhan is frustrated so what do we do so therefore adopter shotgun came up with a program where each school doesn't even have to be a school it could be a community it could be an alumni grade where they can hire their own personal chatroom [Music] subsidized by all the members of the shul all the members of the grade even if all your kids are married even if you most of your classmates are married and you still have three or four classmates left let everybody contribute 18 25 a month towards the hiring of a shotgun who will network on those people what abraha it is for you that you were able to marry off all your children but maybe the person who sits next to you can't say the same and maybe he's coming to shul crying inside all the time and this is your way to help him what can i do what can i do what can i do adapter shotgun is giving you an idea we consider sudokum to be life-changing life-saving work we would think that sharkhand deserve to be paid it doesn't have to be a lot of money but for their time not just for a completed shut-off and i think like a lot of people feel okay shachanon will can pay when they make the shirakh the chances of a fantastic phenomenal top-of-the-line shotgun if he's lucky and he's having an amazing year we'll make twenty shidduchim a year you know and that's like top of the top what about the shotgun that put in so much time so much effort get burnt out so we feel that if there's if we can treat it a little bit as a job whether it be a part-time job or a full-time job it might make things you know feel easier on both sides shula community group would hire one or two shadhanim to meet and then network for their singles and we mean your boys too not just your girls by pulling the shul together it lessens the burden and sense of isolation many people feel you know this way you're a group you're doing it together the chatroom will come down whether it's through zoom whether it's in person and she'll get to know your child in a short interview and then after that she will use the resources that adopt a shotgun has given her a the adopt-a-shotgun database which is still in formation right now we have about singles in our database we're obviously looking to fill it up more but it's definitely a great start that's a lot of people and we're also now over the summer working to interview shadhanim that we feel appropriate that we would allow to access our database and set up the singles on those databases in addition we've also formed an adapter chatrin whatsapp chat which is comprised of over a hundred and fifty shakhanen from all over the world america israel france belgium you name it i don't think there's an area yet that we haven't covered i don't think we have covered hawaii actually or alaska but other than that i think we're good and if anybody knows a shotgun in hawaii please have her reach out to me i'd love to have her on and we network for each other we featured certain singles and we do it in a very become addictive way and we've actually made chidochem from even just the group women working together just really all in it for the right reasons if this is something that sounds interesting to you and that you may want your shul or grade or if you have a you know if you have some kind of group you can definitely check out our website at adopters.com that will definitely give you some information and you can also email us at adaptaschathen gmail.com so again i just want to just i know that i spoke about it on a more general level just really really in a very quick nutshell what we're really doing is is that the group as a whole you're going to adopt a shotgun it might be one shotgun it might be two shotgun depending on how many singles you have in your shull it would be about 25 a month each family whether you have a child in shidduchim or not you give to hatsella you give to tom kaishabas let's go shidduchim important life saving life changing for the for the single we ask for a three-month commitment give us a little bit of time the shotgun has to get to know the singles that's usually uh month one and then number two and three to really get the names out there and and get ideas flowing the shotgun will commit to spending about 16 hours a week on shidduchim for her shule members it does not make it that she is exclusive only to her shull but it it is a commitment that she will work 16 hours a week it's three or four hours a day however many you know times however many days she wants to work it out and that's a very very fair and normal number it will also make shidduchim a more personalized experience knowing that if you have a question you don't have to feel guilty you know about bothering a shotgun that you can text her and she you know she knows your kid and she she kind of adopted you um i i'm still connected to people from my school you know who i've mentioned for and we still talk because they still call me with ideas for their friends you're kind of like developing a relationship we also offer coaching and support which in today today's time is crucial especially with the whole pandemic corona really through a lot of things upside upside down you know shahana now have to deal with not only the usual but it's is the place open does i do i have to wear a mask can i pick her up can i do a backyard date how long should it be there's just a lot of very very complicated things now that were thrown in with corona but we're doing it adopter shock and we are just rolling with it we're rolling with the punches and we just see that by having all members of a shul community or school contribute as a unit to provide the opportunity um we're sending a powerful message we're sending a powerful message to ourselves we're sending a peril message to hashem that we are all in this together caller even zelda is there and we all feel that no single should be left behind and again just check out our website adopters.com or if you would like to send us an email to find out how you can become a part of this you can also send us an email at adopt a shotgun at gmail i just want to end off with fast forwarding to covert 19. okay i remember the exact date i think it was about two weeks before pesach and many singles especially in their mid to upper 20s were totally in a panic what will be what will my dating life be if my dating life wasn't you know pathetic before like what could it possibly be now pesach is coming my family's coming or weren't coming um this is such a hard time to begin with um they were totally totally i got so many so many texts what what's my dating life gonna look like over the next three months over the next six months over the next nine months i adopted shockley felt their pain we really did and we didn't say oh boy you know we have a problem you know you guys are are in for a long call like we refuse to we i refuse to accept that um you know it's like somebody who's running around the building screaming fire fire fire you know that's great but like then there's the person who's showing everybody the the fire exit you know showing them how to get out the door so that's what we felt like everyone was panicking screaming crying this is crazy doctor shotgun was like hold on we got this so i created an amazing zoom speed dating program and we just actually celebrated the second engagement not date the second engagement from the zoom speed dating events which i'm not going into it now but there are about i would say over 300 singles from all over the world including canada that have participated in it and i'm sure over the next couple of months people will be hearing about it and we've had speakers and we're going to be posting a short video about what we've been doing about it on our on our site if you follow instagram and also on our adapter shotgun site and we basically you know created for them i brought in speakers we gave them khizak and we also gave them tools of what to do that when dating life does come back to normal and hopefully mertosha mashiach will come and we will not need this that much longer but adopter shotgun basically trained them and brought in people to help train them on how to be better daters what things to look for in a spouse what things are important and it's really made a huge change so adapter shotgun is not just you know another civic organization which again they're all great and wonderful but adopt a shotgun is taking literal literally you know just taking innovative creative ideas and we're just going with it so whether you're a single who wants to be a part of it or if you're a shotgun that it sounds like this might something be up your alley you want to be part of this get involved thank you so much and have a good night very much all the experts thank you very much to robbie okay at this time we have with us world-renowned lecturer we're really excited about this robbie zechari warshin is with us to give us some guidance in the matter so without further ado we have robbie zachary wallerstein good evening good evening everyone um it's my absolute pleasure to be speaking for the khazak shirak initiative tonight their amazing initiative to get into every single shul to give the venue every single month of what's going on for singles for shidduchim and i happen to know khazak for many many years and whatever they do believe her they have a lot of shema they're going to be very very successful um i'd like to tell you a couple of stories today um and maybe give uh give a little bit of kazakh to all of those who are introducing the first story um is a story actually brought in the majestic an amazing story about amalek and i'm going to read it to you from inside most people don't know this story there's a story about shalom he had a beautiful no one even knows about this he had a very beautiful daughter chain commercial there was not another girl that beautiful in the whole world now every father thinks his daughter's the most beautiful but here the mediterranean witness that his daughter was the most beautiful girl in the hilarity israel so don't do this but shalom ellis could do that he looked in the signs of the stars mee ben zuga who is she going to marry who's rebecca um that this boy that's going to marry his beautiful daughter was very poor you know how poor everybody ambush thrill anika musa in the whole jewish nation he was the poorest guy in the whole jewish nation so america was not happy ma also what did he do bought a mig dog he built a tower in the middle of the sea like on a like on an island surrounded by water like alcatraz you know surrounded by water in san francisco that nobody would be able to escape so that's what he did for me and he built a wall around this tower not albito he took his daughter but not on isobus amiga and he put her on the top of the tower the ima shiva srisa mizik naisral and he put 70 of the elders because he didn't want anyone to have any relations with her so he picked very old men and he put 70 of them on the bottom surrounded this this migdel this this tower okay and guess what says it says the madrid there was no door there was no door on the bottom of the tower shall you kind of no human being could get in there okay and he put a lot of food in there for her and he said listen to this omar era it says that god makes shidduchim well how is god going to get a guy surrounded by water surrounded by a wall a tower that has no door my daughter is on the top of this tower hashem can't pull this one off okay many days later this poor boy never shohu benzavuga he was the one that was supposed to marry her yet but there's malayalam he went out at night he was half undressed he never had no clothing rivet summer starving and thirsty and it was freezing and he saw that a a dead shore a dead ox had just died and it was laying in the field so he cut open the ax and he went into its innards which was still warm and and and he went to sleep there to stay warm that night otherwise he would have frozen to death okay while he was sleep sleeping it's a fascinating story a huge bird a huge eagle came but not the last one on the vela and it lifted up this nevada this dead animal to go eat it but it couldn't hold on to it because it was so heavy so we couldn't get to where it's perched the nasa migdal and he dropped the ax onto the map set onto the the porch on top of this tower because it was very high and that's where the bird was flying and that night the bird the eagle ate the the dead body of the shah the yoshi of shama gag and it stayed on the roof kishi when the sun came out in the morning the bakura this girl went outside ross about her there's a guy laying there's a guy there on her porch impossible right not when hashem does things i'm a lie she said to him miata who are you um who brought you here i'm allah yohudiyani nayako i come from akko and i guess this bird this huge huge eagle brought me here okay mao so what what'd she do she said go inside take a shower i guess there was some clothing there whatever put on some clothing and um he was after taking a shower and cleaning himself up when his yeah he was very very handsome that there wasn't a guy that is handsome with him in the whole classroom listen to the you have a girl the prettiest girl in classroom and now you have a boy who's the best looking guy in classroom well i have to because and she fell in love with him i'm reading him he was very sharp he knew how to learn he was a cipher so she said to him writes a dollar cut cheney do you want to marry me or malloy halaway he said of course i would want to marry you mel so what did he do now you can't marry a girl in in yiddish yes he could give her he had something worth something has to be worth a penny so i'm sure he had something worth a penny but you have to write a suva you can't marry a girl without a suva this is like the most amazing story you'll ever hear so what did he do he has to write her akshoover hake is dumb he caused himself to bleed the cuts of luxuva umayamidamo and he wrote the suva in his from his blood amazing the kitchen and he gave her he gave her the conduction and he said aid them the witnesses are the angel mikhail and gabriel okay so they're now on top they have food they have a bedroom they're married there's abraham emanuel she becomes pregnant kisha ross has a cane uber ass when the the 70 guys on the bottom saw she was pregnant which is impossible um allah can do mulan of shattering are you pregnant on him hain she said yes um allah they they said to me meanness abra who who got you pregnant on the law why do you want to know so there's a cane and became very scared because if mello finds out his daughter's pregnant they're going to think it was one of the kingdoms he's going to kill them so they got very very scared so they called melech and he came by boat and they said we don't understand how but your daughter is pregnant when shalom heard this he called his daughter a melo how did you get become pregnant um hashem brought me this guy tamuda he can learn sci-fi he's a cipher of the kachani he married me carla bacha so the king called the boy the hero lay hacksuv libito and the boy showed him the suva the shallow hamela so i'm also in the stars that the boy that she's going to marry is ramaco became very happy and he said now i realize that if hashem wants a up girls and boys who are listening hashem wants you can build fences be in the water whatever you want if hashem wants to make it happen it will happen this is a madrish a true story so all of you that are out there all the cover and everything that's going on how am i how am i going to date how am i going to find a off because who has its weight i know that my sister-in-law who was here before lisa elephant she told me that she just had a shirt last night from zoom you got to believe if hashem wants it to happen look which went through that that shouldn't happen and it happened anyway i'd like to tell you a story about a girl that i know very well and i know that the story is true and she came to the shotgun and she came with her resume and she puts her resume down and she says i'm looking for i want to marry garlhadar the shotgun said the gutter door you want to marry a girl her door she said i don't want anyone i don't want i don't want i want the god dar she said okay let me see you must be coming from very clash of uh russia shiva's single day limb let me see your resume she looked at the resume she said are you jewish and the girl says not yet want to marry a girl a dog you're not even jewish she says what does your father do the girl says well my father's a like a very big priest i mean like like like a cardinal like he he's big he's not just a priest he's like a big priest um he also serves idols she said i'm sorry i mean you know i i would love to help you but uh where do you live oh um i live way out like in south dakota like i don't know some way out town are there any yeshivas are there any jews is there anything there nope i've never seen a jew before you she says you're not jewish your father is a cardinal in the church and serves idols you live in a town where there's no jews or even a state where there's no jews at all and you expect me to find you a girl hadar and she said yes and everyone who's watching knows who this girl is her name was sipora and she wanted the gulahadar and guess who she married moshe mengenu she wasn't jewish her father was israel calling midjan he was the head of all that vaidhisara in the world and there were no jews in majin so who went and brought moshe at bainu from metria to the well to meet the doors of isro and then she probably fed him for i think with 12 years when he was in a dungeon you what i'm trying to tell all of you is that you need to want whatever you want and if it's the right thing of course both looking to deliver where else does this happen everyone by russ russ came from moab which came from the worst place in the world she came from moab there was a mahlokas if you could even marry a girl from olaf she came from moab her husband's died she had no money her mother-in-law was nami who said ra amar i had the most bitter life i lost everything she had no name she wasn't jewish when she came and what did hashem do she ends up marrying boaz who was the head of clyde's role and this girl who came from moab who had no chance became aimha malchus became the great-grandmother of malach and the great-great-great-great-grandmother of mushiyach mandavid so when you think like oh i can't get this i can't get this off nobody there's no such thing if hashem has to have a bird fly this guy and drop him on your roof check your roof every day maybe there's a guy's on your porch i don't know but hashem will do it and if if you you come from midjian and your father and your father's israel whatever it is hashem can do it and if you and russ it's called the emma marcus she didn't come from a yes dick home what i'm trying to tell everybody the same with the boys what i'm trying to tell everyone is that and and that's going to be my last story which is probably the most important story um that you just you just got to want it and you got a diamond to hashem and this day you should just know that that that tuba of is a yantas um we don't say tachman now there's very few days during the year that we don't say dahmen in in in shoal we don't say tachron only if it's a yantas what's the yantif of of tuba of what's the yantiv of of shidduchim why is that a yankdiv and i think that the the two above is it's called one of the holiest days of the year yum kipra and tuba like you'll keep a tuba of because the girls on tuba of switched to clothing nerds the rich girls gave the poor girls their clothing the poor girls gave the rich girls their clothing and when the guys went out to meet the girls they didn't know who was rich they didn't know who edith they didn't know anything to hashem when a jew is willing to give up their social status so that another jew who's not on that social status should be equal that is the biggest greatest juntis that exists so tomorrow well actually wednesday which is which is to hashem is the holiest day because it doesn't matter whether you're beautiful it doesn't matter whether you're rich it doesn't matter who your parents are that's a day that we show that we understand that shidduchim come from hashem so i could give my beautiful dress my designer dress and my beautiful makeup and the guy could give his beautiful suit and his beautiful shoes and his expensive uh tie and his expensive watch to some other guy who can't afford it because and not worry oh she look she i'm not wearing such nice clothing she's gonna think this and that who cares because it's not up to her and it's not up to me it's up towards boracay so the ammuna the belief of tuba of is the same immuno that you have on your kipper therefore it's a yantif that we don't say and i want to tell you something else that people don't know and that is that hasidim begin to say because that's the day to get written into the good books that's today to understand that god is the one that makes shidduchim as you heard in these stories another story about ashan not such a great story about the shaktim but i don't know who the shotgun is so it doesn't matter um and so i know this girl and she comes from a very um a dysfunctional home and a lot of tragedy in the home and and no money and no support and brothers and sisters that are off to derek and really really a tough resume a really tough resume anyway she came to the shopkins i don't know not important it's definitely not any of the charcoal that we work with um and and put down her resume and and the shaka looked at the resume and said um you know this is uh not in this is not going to be easy for me to find a boy with all these you know so the lush and the language that she uses you know i'm really sorry but you have a lot of baggage that's what she told her you have a lot of baggage so i'm gonna have to find a boy that has baggage now this girl uh this girl's an ornava girl she's also a brooklyn girl she's tough she's strong so here she is at the shotgun and the shotguns telling her you got a lot of baggage i'll try and she sort of put the paper underneath all the other papers like if i find the guy with baggage so this girl looks at the shotgun and says to her i don't disagree this on this resume there's a there's a lot of baggage but if you find a boy just tell him that um that this girl has a designer baggage like i'm louis like my bag is like louis vuitton so i was like wow i'm very proud of you yeah i don't know if you think it's baggage there's no such thing in god's world don't you think it's baggage there's no such thing as poor or rich smart you see from samamela's story you see from zipporah you see from russ that hashem wants it's going to happen so you need to darwin and you need to hashtag me you need to know not the way you look it's not who your parents are it's up to god and when you give him that power and you don't try to do it yourself um of course you have to go out but he will he will do what you got to do so i want to end with the story some of you may have heard it from me before but it's a very fascinating story with rosh diamond stein was a big goddamn although charmerstein was a big god on here to stroll and um i go i went to him every single year with erevium kipper actually the day before himkip i would go to him for a bracha many many many years ago i went through steinmen and i told them that i want to open a high school that for girls who were struggling on the street out of other schools thrown out you're struggling with a lot of different things and i want to i want to open up this high school and he gave me a bracket that high school should go well and i realized after a while that you know from monday to third to friday we work with these girls and they did very well um but then they went home to the dysfunction that their abuse that they were going through by time they came back monday everything that we worked the whole week we lost and we realized we're just spinning on wheels it's not going anywhere so three years into the school i decided that i'm going to open a dorm that way the girls are in the dorm and they sleep every night in the dorm and shabbos they're in the dorm then whatever we we do a whole week is going to be able to stay so but it's going to cost a lot of money to open a dorm for 13 15 girls so i went there and i came to everest diamond true story and i said to him it was airborne kipper i said refs diamond i need a bracha so what do you need a bracha for i said um i want to open a house for girls that went through abuse and they coming from dysfunctional homes i needed rockets and of course we saw something um that we were interested in renovating it's going to cost about 350 thousand dollars that i should be much clearer than raising the money very unlike rub steiman he looks at me and he says who says i said we want i said we want i want a dormitory and the girls want a dormitory he said who says hashem wants such a house i said what i uh no no i don't want a house not for me and i went back into when i said no rush diamond it's not for me it's for these girls they don't have a home they're being abused they really want such as i would love to give this to them i really want to do this for them he looks at me again and he says there's zock and who says who said hashem wants such a house i was like oh my gosh i can't believe he's saying this that now i'm not getting a bracha i'm sort of getting like a koala so i try to ask again and and the gabbai interrupts me said the rub understood you you got to go i was very very upset i called new york i called my school and i told the principal forget the idea the rabbi is against it and he's like who says hashem wants a child i didn't understand what he was i i was i was so broken going into him kipper the following year i come back now you have to remember that if diamond sees thousands of people the whole year i come back i'm a hudson i'm not giving up because we did not have a good year we did not have a good year we did not have a place to put them to sleep and again we were spinning our wheels i'm like you know i'm going to ask him again i come back to him and i just stay before young kipper i say russian shiva we really need abraham from you we really need this house the girls need this house they're they're decimated they're going through mamash gehennam i need to to build to redo this house i need you i need a broker from you they need this house he looks at me and he says you're going to have the money right away and not only that hashem is going to move into the house with the girls i was like what so i wasn't going to just walk out i said could i ask the resheshiva last year you said hashem doesn't want the house this year you say hashem is moving into the house is it me did i do something wrong last year like manish donna listen carefully everyone now he sees thousands of people right he looks at me and he says well that's the yard last year you said you want a house the girls want a house hashem doesn't always give you what you want but this year you said you need a house and the girls need a house hashem always gives the jew what he needs i was like he remembers last year i said i want and he said wow it's a guddell he listens to every word that you say i'm not trying to be hard on anybody but the message that rush diamond was saying watching tonight and everyone who's dating wants to get married just because you want to get married hashem doesn't always give you what you want when you get to a point that you need to get married i need to get married why do i need to get married because my friend got married that's not a need that's a want i need to get married because if i get married only in jewish law to have children i need to get married so i need to get married to bring more of hashem's children into the world some people say then i don't need to get married if i know i can't have children no you need to get married even if kraft you can't have children because you need to build a house where you could do hesed where you could have people where you could do so much where if you're single you can't you need to take in your mind the difference between i want everyone gets married i want to get married i don't want to be single no senator steineman robert walsten you can't always get what you want but you can always get what you need so when you come to a coaching barclay you dive in and you say i don't want to get married because everyone else is married i need to get mad hashem because i want to have a house and i want to bring children into the world they're going to serve you and if khatri shaman even if i don't have children i want to have a house vastly made this video could live in the house of a house of midos a house of a house of shalom bias when you come to the point in your head i need this raf simon gave me haftaka rabbi wallastine if you need something any child any person in clyde israel that needs something i shouldn't give you what you need but he doesn't always give you what you want so on tuba of we need to take in our mindset i don't want to get married i need to get married and i need to get married so i could serve you in a different way hashem not because my friends got married or i want a big wedding or i want to see how i look at a wedding gown or i'm a guy and i want to you know i want a woman no i need to get married to serve hakuras that's why you need to get married and if you do that because welcome is going to get that guy somehow to that tower or get that girl from wherever she's coming from somehow to you and i want to tell the girls out there just one thing that russ told boaz if you look at mcgill unbelievable he called her bt he called her my daughter and she looked at him and said because you treated me this way i guarantee you that i will not be like any other girl and she delivered she became the aim hamachus and who knows who's out there who's the emma marcus and the alba marcus and the oven ema marcus of your own home so let's not want to get married let's need to get married and brother hashem will give you what you need and next year is hashem we won't even have to do this because we'll have a base and make dash we'll have yom kippur and we'll have a tuba of and hashem because both will take care of everything and just don't give up never give up i think the story in the mediterranea is the most one of the most amazing stories mel himself said okay how you going to do this hashem and there's a way there's always a way it goes always has a way you just kind of need it you got to need it should be healthy should find your ziverg very very fast where the boy should i want to end with another another thought so so just very fast the gemara learns um in conducion when you when you marry a girl so you make a kenyan you put a ring on her finger you sort of buy her so to say it's called a kenyan and the gemara says where do you learn this kinion from kikhekicha where do you lend this kenya from so we learned the kenyan of buying something with money from avraham avinu and the russia ephron who sold ramavinu the maratha magpayla askhazam of all the money deals in the torah we learned the money deal of getting married from a russia ephron who ripped off of ramavinu it's a very famous question and here's the turrets everyone when i rama vino bought the marathon he knew because he chased the sheep that was running away and it went into radhakapele and he smelled garnet and he knew that adam and java were buried there and he knew that it was very very holy that it smelled from ganesha so when ephron said to him oh benio benjamin it's nothing give me 400 silver dolls which was worth about a million dollars total rip-off for a cave and he knew that ramaville was very rich but abraham avinu knew that the monster payload was very holy so so ron mavino knew he got an amazing buy for 400 silver coins he got the marathon ephron didn't know what he got so avraham avina walked away from that deal so happy he's like i just bought ghane then for 400 he was so happy ephron the cave was worth twenty dollars efron asked for a crazy amount of money and he got it he walked away said oh did i rip off this iran i made such a crazy deal i it's unbelievable what i just got said a marriage the best place to learn marriage is from abraham avinu and from ephraim why because each one in the deal walked away thinking he got the most amazing deal so in a marriage has to be the same way the guy has to when they get married has to walk away say i don't even understand why she's marrying me i got i got a princess i got the most amazing girl in the world and she has to walk away saying oh my goodness i can't believe this guy married me this boy married me i i got a prince i i so each one has to walk away thinking that they got the best deal in the world they got the best guy they got the best girl and that's why we learned it keith keith and the gemara from efrain and ramavino and that's what i wanted to say at the end that zevo whoever you marry should always feel that you are the most amazing person in the world and you should feel that the person you're marrying is the most amazing person in the world and if you do that the shaolin bios will be beautiful and wherever there's shalom that's wrecked and healthy children and grandchildren great-grandchildren that will be bedera hashem until thank you thank you rabbi wallace team for your words of inspiration we want to thank all of the who give themselves tire who give who give themselves selflessly for the jewish community to help out the jewish singles find their matches we greatly appreciate them we want to acknowledge them we also want to thank um the initiative which spearheaded this this event together with the orthodox union the initiative's mission is to provide information tools and resources to help to help the shidduchim as well as to provide each shule throughout the united states with these resources and tools to have your shule part of this initiative contact us at shidduch hazak.org again that web again that email is kazakh.org we also want to thank all the presenters who um took of their time to to uh address us um tonight and uh for closing remarks we now go to rabbi yaniv meerov ceo and founder of kazakh pretty much robbie's a high warranty for those words of inspiration always amazing always unbelievable we really appreciate that and the orthodox union the ou we want to thank you for your time we really appreciate it we want to thank the khan and the experts for giving up their time as well to all the organizations organizations partnering organizations it really really means a lot to us once again the kazakhstan initiative is the nucleus for all those singles all across america and all the shows and meditation we're going to have representatives and they're abundant and it's going to be a huge project we encourage everyone watching every single person that includes you to get involved send us an email at chjcaq.org and administration we look forward to hearing from all of you have a great day thank you very much robbie zachary for those words of inspiration always amazing always unbelievable we really appreciate that in the order of action in the ou we want to thank you for your time we really appreciate it we want to thank the experts for uh giving up their time as well to all the organization organizations partnering organizations it really really means a lot to us once again initiative is the nucleus for all those singles all across america and all the shows administration we're going to have representatives and they're abundant and it's going to be a huge project and we encourage everyone watching every single person that includes you to get involved send us an email at chjcaq.org and administration we look forward to hearing from all of you have a great day thank you very much ravi zakharov for those words of inspiration always amazing always unbelievable we really appreciate that and the orthodox union the ou we want to thank you for your time we really appreciate it we want to thank the khan and the experts for giving up their time as well to all the organization organizations partnering organizations it really really means a lot to us once again initiative is the nucleus for all those singles all across america and all the shows and meditation we're going to have representatives and they're abundant and it's going to be a huge project and we encourage everyone watching every single person that includes you to get involved send us an email at chandaq.org and i mentioned we look forward to hearing from all of you have a great day okay