Shemiras Haloshon In day To Day Life.- Rabbi Yakov Zev Smith

[Music] brutha my boy I'm ashamed here conspirator like to welcome everyone to today's cheer from vehicles of Smith's Lita the topic of schmear solution and daily living activities sure character of clymas also sponsoring today's chili vanish must English they should see robots Elisha later - Shawn - postal service or a time machine would you say to the following question someone calls you information about a shidduch tell me all the Foss trainees you know about that person 1c fix your dialogue concern and everything and I'm telling you I'm not lying on you you must tell me everything are you indeed MacLean to say everything or consider this question someone asked me someone was talking badly about his business someone was bad-mouthing this person's business how is he allowed to respond what's allowed to say and a third question a really interesting question a girl confided with her mother but a certain problem she had and she said this isn't confidence don't tell Tati don't share with the father to meet you and the mother feels she can't deal with the problem effectively unless she tells them the father his mother allowed to breach the confidence and tell the father the problem so what comes to mind with these and will soon see many other questions is that famous concept of lush and harlot ALS which seems to imply that in certain situations not only you Lauda selection Hara but there's an obligation to say lush Sahara now is that true is there really such a mitzvah you know people like to have a mitzvah to eat and a favour to learn but this is really very enticing a midst for the top Russian Hara so the Emmis is it at first it can't be because Russian hair is never justifiable imagine the following situation someone didn't have a job for many years he finally got a job and after we get to the boss says you know competitive enough now what does that mean competitive means you're not verbal enough to talk bad about the competition and you're not making sales if you don't start being a little more competitive which is a code words for Russian hora you're fired in other words either topless in horror or you lose your job is the person allowed to say listen harder to save this job so the cover time in two places in Russian Hara I'll lift volve and in helpless Raveena's a Lavrov says no you can't talk Russian harem and if it means giving up your job I'm losing Col Muammar you know that's your obligation I mean the husband is postured the macabre a day a Coughlin Zion says the person has to be willing to give up Calma mine are you not to be live on allowed and the going to even a nest of their opponent no and how about the IVA on Lashon Hara dahab Shyam makes that judgment it could be 17 11 and 14 Essen so the mere fact that it's TLS you gain is not a hectare so what then is there such a hell of a snarl TLS and when does it apply so raised at Pella the this concept of linearity L is an arrogant Mara it's managed to unearth the Hayley Dakar battalion was me assayed and developed that special heta now this is something to point out into the house crying he championed his whole life Russian Horrors real solution and he was maja - not only a head to the thought but a mitzvah to talk which proves to us what the cops crime himself said he didn't say humorous he looked to the MS and he guideth how to talk but to cough Italian in which English test Alif develops this concept of Russian harlot else let me give you the case that he talks about someone's about to hire a workup and you know that workers is dishonest he's a garment I mean officially in our Lafayette but he's dishonest if the person how is that worker his business will suffer he's going to embezzle funds so the cava Khayyam says not only that euro out to provide information if asked if he says tell me about this worker you could say stay away from him but even you allowed to volunteer information you louder offer unsolicited advice call up the person that I heard you want to hire so-and-so stay away he's a gonner how could that be so the from timecode sagara-san Hedren that there's is the pasta glazed salmon Aldama aqua is if you see someone that the drowning or is being attacked and you could save his life without any risk to your life you must leave to go out and save that person's life like Sam white al damn Rafa don't stand by idly when someone is losing his life dr. Kovac I am the word diamond orphan has two meanings dama means like blood life and dumb could also mean money darm entire team asthma may be included in the pasta clay salmon out Dom Rafa is don't stand by when someone is about to lose money huh Oh Eva Zoe's going to hire a worker who's dishonest he's not at risk of his life but he's losing money and the kaabah try improves this on McMartin buffer bath sir from around them safe admits this but he proves it conclusively that lace us in dumb in Vevey cerca includes when someone's losing his life or someone's losing money and he explains because the is solution her is a deeper Hamas ik damaging talk he quotes that from the cleaner for a slob but sighing the ramen really says that in the end of her Thursday is so lush and harvest Ibrahim Asik if this Beiber is not magic it's not constructive it's not destructive but it be struck but it's constructive if it's not magic its motto it saves someone's money there is no longer and it's of loshon Hara so the have Italian was the one that was me acid this special Hector of Russian harlot I Ellis the truth is that the finish is not too high it's command a parsec in the tire you know the McCarthy is uh blushing horror this doesn't answer any the words Austin heart my say let's rock Obama is the McCarthy installation Hara the very next words are my Sam I'd Alden Myakka sup they're high in the college because when someone is in a situation of saying something either it's the terrible of era of Russian Hara or it's the fear of of like samba da da Marissa go out and talk negative about that godith the velvetine ear of investment s he quotes the Russians that title a samba da da Maria are like fish stock don't be quiet meal of ebiz rustling so Lisa Madame Rafa is orphan the call of the hour someone's about to lose money you have to go out and save that person from a loss of money in other words if he's sitting by your table and people are talking lushes Hara you have to say sort of grab my side I say look Obama but if you're asked information about a sugar or about a worker or any other situation that someone's about to lose now your fear is like somebody Aldama yeah go out and say what you have to say you know pleading the fifth is our constitutional right but it's alive in the tiger when a person pleads the fifth when there's a potential loss of money he's either on this lay somebody Aldama yet you know there's a safe written by one of the animals vilna the Pisgah chuva that was a stroll it's the insulin mama she was printed same time as the harvest I am wrote is safer and an hour I am cooked new involve he writes all a city Muslim storm about the east of Russian hora and another key marriage will happen although in God will be there I talk about a more serious Avera and that is when someone's quiet when he's supposed to speak up and this is something that we have to stress universally information for shidduchim people all of a sudden decide they can't say I have a friend he was married around seven hours but Shakti got married and he came home after the house and he saw that the girl had a hole is that a hole medicine chest and she passed she couldn't live without medicine and now we'll told him his friends didn't tell them people are new the girl why not oh I can't talk Russian heart that one said this in this year and someone says I was by a hot sauna that they were married fifteen minutes I said Wow today after the hook with the girl went back in the club but she was crying and she was there but so ill you can control herself and it was a mecha toys maker under the immediately get they hear these stories and you wonder what are people thinking why don't you say the truth authorities are not thinking you but that's why some wait I'll die Maria if it's information and will soon see when and why but if this information that has to be told it submits let Sofia you could close your death put on your guys let's say hidden emotion of Mozilla on the kindness of the riser of lace Alma Adama yeah it's not Russian huh now we call it lush in horror Latoya Ellis but that's inaccurate because in a situation that is a fear to talk it's not Russian heart it's lace time memory alpha but we can't call it Russian toilet ALS doesn't sound right so we call oceanography Ellis but in fact when this ejeta will disappear it's not washed in huh so our challenge today is to walk a tightrope without a flood my sailor from America but very often a salmon Adam Rafa so let's we're going to do today basses a shame and the fav Italian in two places gives us very clear guidelines the parameters for when it's a sea of to talk this is a mushroom horror you'd see bays and a fearless test outlet but let's start with the following question you see someone that was parking a little recklessly and he smashed the someone's car but for some reason he must have forgot this omission above a comma I revised the second and he took off but you were quick to take down his license plate and it's a firmer year that that damaged it for me then he didn't decide to make any payment so the carpets higher says when you see an Avila and something like this some was magic or someone's about to magic whatever it is you have to speak up and he says there are seven preconditions now I'm gonna try to make it even more simple and we're gonna get thence it into a one word the three-letter word the three-letter word is gonna have all the tonight um and easier to check to see if we justified in saying it something of its kind the first precondition when it's looked up blush gnarled ALS make sure what you're saying is MS you heard this in that you know hearsay room has mikvah talk that's all meaningless you have to know the exact story the facts it has to make you know personally nuts of the carpets Italian if it's a if it's a vibe I discern you allowed to pass it on so the first tonight is Emma's the second ones of the up crime is even if you saw the story personally but do you know the facts behind the story I'll tell you I could say nobody div over there but a friend of mine beaded a view of the a wonderful wonderful person and he once learned the whole Thursday night into Friday morning a need Alvin chakras and the end of chakras he was so fatigued that he collapsed he fainted really actually he fell asleep and his people started rumors that he's not well he has epilepsy this so that and for seven years he couldn't find the a sick boy and there's nothing wrong with him you know some people died when they're sleeping they could stay standing we couldn't do that and he fell asleep so I figure people that I saw I could swear I saw a fellas tell mommy see collapsable that he must be sick are you a doctor so even if you know the fact the story you saw it not hearsay facts so ii tonight you have to know the facts behind the story so we have to 10:00 a.m. it's all about ms the third is since the hecta is als you want to make sure that this person needs a gun if and he's gonna work he's gonna cheat it might be to die first go to that person listen i have no you know that you're into no good things you better stop this or else I'm gonna tell the boss so if you could go to the victim to the perpetrator straight and say listen I know that you're not err look I'm a fulfill the boss I'm gonna give you a trial basis of a week see how you do it ok very often this is not practical but if you know the goat or the person that dented someone else's car so you call up and say listen I have your license plate I saw you dent another yeats car you drove off I'm sure you willing to pay but if it doesn't hear from you I'm gonna have to give you over his name in other words the healthiest ILS if you could achieve the TLS without saying Russian air that's much better the fourth preconditions of Telugu carpets Khayyam don't exaggerate the avila and this is really a form of MS and this I can't tell you enough I think we all know this weather has traduction were children to do him when it comes to a of a word makes all the difference or better yet a kilometer knows like the belt says keep it up I'm horror GU ish you know say someone's very quiet very quiet and no one's very quiet maybe say and it's not you very quiet you'll have to say that but are you sure it's very quiet or a little reserved or si habla calmest Iike you know it's something it let it pass as a person or pom i grata want stories as people you know complain - girls - quiet I know one can't be after they marry the girl is to apply it so what does it mean - quiet if they're reserved if they're there you know with you know withdrawn there's magnificent but the point is choose the words carefully I always say it's a type of commercial and don't give labels say facts you know he's laid-back people get scared of laid-back what I mean laid back with me that he's takes things very carelessly or laid-back could mean that he's nothing fazed him he's a very easygoing person don't say label say facts he's not the delay you know this is not aggressive not aggressive but the facts are much more indicative of the personality than labels that we use that are often missing stood so here we have three time about ms and one about tellus v precondition is up the Cubs high and since the head to islets ALS you have to say the lush in horrible TLS and you have to have qivana forty Ellis something other time if someone asks you about a enemy of yours and ex work above yours or certainly an ex-spouse you know how to give the information because you're not going to give the accurate information and also even if you do it's not come on ot Ellis and the public eye improves this if you're saying Russian hearty Ellis to settle the score that's not a hectare the true things to cover time is saying when you say blush in horror the Shem blush inherits a knife a now what does it mean to say so somebody asks you about something I don't like as you just not get involved no get your act together work in it and say I'm going to give this lesson give this linearity Hollister shemesh a Mayan but you have to save the information but you have to do it in a way that it's not at a personal animosity but if the Shem stream are you in he'll just repeal us cloud test the hub time adds another example of lush in Hara Latoya Ellis and he says it master bring toy Ellis in other words this a true story someone asks me what do you say about my future my puddin I said oh when's the fast enough in three days from now so what do you want to know I won't know what I got myself into that's not question you have to answer even if there are unless there's a very very serious problem but at this point he's not going to listen and have Italian rights if you give over luscious harlot TLC Sheva Somalian but it won't bring that ALS because the person won't listen to why talk and ask BLT Ellis and Harvick I am and you see the harm others mean of he he says you know it's gonna happen someone else about Mahuta know he's a nice guy a little stingy okay but in the six months later he sees thing he says you know your friend told me you're stingy should have listened in so now what's your penis you know my your friendly says your name Tobias it so you don't gain you only those so we have three preconditions about ms and three about T Ellis becomes time as a six condition and that that part of the safer an incredible incredible year sight he says since the healthy is play Ellis you're trying to stop the up because it's there's a terrible kisser with one of them or you're trying to stop them hiring that worker if you could accomplish that goal that to Ellis without saying Russian hora that's what you have to do behind it someone asks you about a boy and the boy is no good this Rilke strain is a strain is that too much either you could give him all the gory details or get a listen I know you I know your daughter it's not feel it's just not feel it you could do better it's not for you so to combat Ryan has this passion your objective is to Ellis you could accomplish the to yell us without saying Russian are why he lashes are say it's not for you but what's in but unbelievable is the riot the source of this is sight and he brings a Gomorrah that's really the site of today the kumaras says since I had in that you now live when you when you're sure was fighting against AG and they were losing which wasn't those to happen and there was a because nefesh of Claudius troll there wasn't supposed to be so the puss ik said that the shoe I fell on his face and to brush them help me so the branch says why are you falling on your face cloth to yourself someone didn't a very that's causing this calamity so your shoe asked innocently mulatto who did a favor tell me I'll take care of it so the punchline responded the seat Delta Annie but Russia am I about lost in harem layha tell girl always go out and make lots and you'll figure out the identity of the ball of area and they taka did it and it was off on who did terrible terrible i various they eliminated are gone and they won the war Fred the head of the profits Khayyam you're talking about often of Oliveira love holidays you're talking about he was a relative of cloud yourself because nappies of clay is throw you're talking about the purest of ALS the Samsa Mayan the buddy styler man you're a sewer and the person says am I about lost in her so what happened Yeshua found that anyhow so it wasn't that we don't know who did it what did that mean that he built a knee doctor huh Brian even you're sure with the replenish them with people of nephews of class or what about a very as bad as our fun if you could avoid talking if you could get the objective done without talking look he built ami marvel all right but that's the fire that has to burn a now in the Sharma that if I could avoid saying a word I mean it's even more than that well my sir you sure found out about a virus it's not like no one there was no identity of him but if you could avoid saying a word don't say that word so this is what the Cubs compensated the sixth precondition toy Ellis you want to tell us good say I know this work is not for you now if the person persists and he has a reason to know exact details you allow to tell otherwise you won't listen but generally if you say it sincerely listen I know the story and believe me I just don't want to talk it's not to you that is the precondition of T Ellis and the last precondition of time as this the seventh of his son areum is you can't be magic more than you supposed to in other words you see a worker that's coming late and it's Takanawa the boss will hear that and will overreact and fire him that's not right well you should do is first to go over to the world can see listen I see you coming late I can't be quiet at all the boss if he does it doesn't help you could tell the boss but you ask the the punishment has to fit the crime if the person overreacts and is magic the other person more than he should to think about it the only hat this TLS and here it's an imbalance to Ellis so here we have three preconditions about ms you have to know it fact not hearsay it has to be a real concern that what you think you can't exaggerate we have magic it can't be magic and we have we actually for in TLS go straight to the person Makarova TLS and ask the yield TLS not that it's too late and if you could accomplish without talking you're better off so you have seven or actually eight preconditions and raise Apella it's in one word ms3 of ms one of magic three or four of TLS so the word ms includes all of the preconditions and the truth is it's a halide of Ajo you know when someone says shaker in a situation of Solem bias its ms so I think the analogy to ms is even deeper when someone says well Charlotte ALS and all the preconditions have been met it's not Russian her it is ms it's the Roxxon ahem so with all this in mind I think we understand that the starting point is very Delta an e it's an event Humber AG Malloy unprecedented but if there's a head them and you know the heta is genuine then you ever see if to talk but I'll give you just a one more feeling I have imagined someone come over to you so you know the the closest McDonald's I think they got a Henderson now who would eat by McDonald's if someone thinks they gotta have so if someone swears to got a so you know cool a high whole like but he thinks they got a heads up you're not gonna eat them all right because McDonald's is the symbol of typhus it has a desk estas mashenka Mario and someone said I think it has extra you know you know what you know no Russian heart is it has a much deeper kaskus typhus 17 live and 14 Essen and they think it's motor approaches question find out sq Shila it's time we ask and continue to ask shy as we as Charles about blitz drugs blood spots in an egg or or or Batman hug how about in this oven come so to fly this Lamesa first and foremost the Hobart I am in doubt legit I love says not only are you allowed to ask information your motive - you want to take a worker a shidduch Russa go to a shear you'll out inquire and calcium brings arrive Magnum orange school stuff lambda test a marvel tomorrow when there was a need to make a schwa because there was a sister so the plastic says stay away from the regime olya an awesome I will show you so the Morris says well the one that's no good as the rush of the innocent party why is he called to Russia the parrot is why won't you careful enough to avoid a citizen why'd you get yourself into trouble problems of Hannah brother once told me Roy DNA Tyra could have been avoided if there was the foresight before you hire a worker now what do you want what are you expecting talk it out speak it out first inquire if he's what you want and then when you got the workup be clear you know he's a Hamish the worker yeah but you want to remain Hamish that's the thing you know be clear clear what you want what you're looking in the and inquire you allowed to ask when someone asks tell me everything about the boy or a girl that really doesn't deserve a response and explain why because very often there are some bits of information that I really don't affect the porn someone here's know that they get all nervous and they go elsewhere so by giving all of information you might mean the sense of name and it might be the facts did you know something it's mazak it's mozilla fine i'll give you a very good example a buck when he was young did something a big avila but now with 20 15 years later and he said mom is a tactical ashtray mezack knew Samantha Paris now he's way way above that so I saw they estimate cos it's like this and the to verify a serf and this also do you have to say you know the facts it was definitely an Avila but again he overcame it pounds so you'll say it and you'll mean Samson I am and it's true one person hears they're honestly you know I feel I be Nina it's your magical good sugar so by saying the facts it might have all the preconditions but it's being maziq unnecessarily now if there's a chance that recurrence okay then you can give it over but against somebody that's way above it or another thing there was a broken engagement it was the girl's fault and they asked about the boy and no one knows it was previously engaged if it's no fault of the boys so why give it over it's gonna ruin the ship it now if they asked you point-blank tell me was there any problem that was he ever engaged so you're in a quandary because to say no is checker sliding and also it's the flavor so have time advises and such a situation avoid the question you know you say I can help you and that's the truth because I'm gonna tell you the truth I'm gonna hurt you I can't help you avoid the question or you could do as I said if you could do a variety listen you asked me I'll tell you he was engaged but has nothing to do with him I know the story guide the person but don't be Mazak with those information this is something you know anybody that knows what's going on the crisis out there the solution crisis is because people are unrealistic they have a checklist of things they want that like higher boiling it was such a perfection and you know it's it's it's time that we have to you know give information of what's important someone used to come to this year passed away a while ago and it's dark and it's Holcomb oi he said his wife confided with him after 25 years to be married then when she decided to go on to Seville him she made a checklist there was negotiables and non-negotiables some things that she will not relent you will not yield and some things that if you don't have it is good so she told them you had all the non-negotiables and you failed all the negotiables but Baraka sham she was very happily married because you know there's no one is perfect that's a very practical way of looking at things if we want children to get married we to have our list of negotiables and on negotiables the point is the fact that it's about a shidduch is not the easy path to say all you know again I'm not a we're not dialogue sermon or a certain dispenser and giving all the information only confuses matter and Dyk latisha that's the truth well you could ask is tell me anything about the boy or girl that might affect the marriage the stability of the marriage is so unbiased but you know it's something that a person has to be realise when you have more in the ghost you bulls that mean something it becomes harder to find the right sugar and also try to think what the other person really needs you know someone once the SV he wants a top boy okay how do you define top boy you know he's a little worldly okay fine what else I could make this up I can drain with the finger and business in other words is a Gannett but he's a London so he said hang up so top boy is a world big honor okay that's your car yeah nice to meet you but the truth is you know it's all about knowing what the other person needs and then you know the information that you give you know sometimes just confuses them this story I read the story and the cost of the safer summer games the receiver if this box I'm not so anyways yeah season mozillian so when the person lefty another Rebbe Esther Cena I know the vote he's not a bazillion because you know I know that person know his daughter they don't want they can't deal with them at say he's too intense they want people should say he's the mat-su you know I said he's an Italian very good but it's the truth someone once asked me I couldn't make this up about a button how he serves the dips by the Shabbos sudha I said you know if you ask me you should ask how many of them enjoy the dips not how he serves the dips is it an original containers in a delegate again they've been holding by you should do come one of the non-negotiables how he serves the dips then we're gonna have a crisis now sometimes person says I'm relying on you tell me everything and everything everything okay he's are lying on you and he's relying on you to give you give information that's tired thick and this is basically the information that you have to give what will affect the up even a Suffolk you allow to give up with hire Suffolk but not everything that just confuses matters I'll give you an idler muscle but a tremendous insight you are privy to a boy next today but when he was two years old he had a tumor and it was removed now it's 20 plus years later and he has a clean slate a bill of health he's as healthy as the rest of us you know there's no chance of occurrence I mean who the burns from those you know who what when but as far as you can about that's concerned it's a perfect he's perfect health so many rabona will say and you know this is no one and then the other person has no because it's the story 20-plus years ago so the shock will be let them meet now again you know me to see them meet once they are by you you see the world mean a few times until it looks close and then you should provide the information now right away you wonder what about Geneva's does make a choice it is a concern how could I wait you know so the truth is this idea I want to mention it's good I think this is important to mention that left you know let them meet and if it's Nagaya I'll look into it that's wrong you know parents they are too busy to look into things so let them eat that know if it's good I'll look into it besides the lack of sneers that a boy and girls who just meet and then I'll see if it's big area it could cause problems I saw these I saw a mother and a wife a father mother and a girl crying to me that they met a few times and then they decide to look into it and they realize Meeker there wasn't a half a minha how do you do that Daddy that the people take the pariah take a girl but many times it's talk another or worse yet again I saw this they once met and it was a good then the parents woke up they they found time to look into the child okay now people too busy for that and they real they're not letting it not letting it and this is and the boy and set it up too bad I'm doing it anyhow and it started a terrible my hike is in a family what it's that they know their boy and girl meet and everything goes good and you decide that the something happens that Meeker you wouldn't have let so where were you till now I saw a letter from a bahan about him and he writes that the boy and girl should not need until as far as you're concerned it's a perfect chiller and as you have to give the okay that just the question of chemistry but all the information should be clarified before they meet now that's challenging I know because people are busy but you have to have time for what's important to let's dime boy and girl meet and we'll work it out and we get there is a recipe for disaster but the my sir of moisture and are hi I'm Dowell could be fast enough and as a Dollard Lambeth bays and very sensitive Koster anus he does recommend let them meet a few times and then you could say the problem that you know about there's no salmon in the freakin I'm talkin basic of Lyman Hague also says this now what's the shot if it's a concern why let them meet because it is a tremendous insight into the mechanics of shidduchim everybody has Co strain is inside the garage Vyasa type in a that we have to look at the big picture there are mildest Marcus Ramos when you buy a suit you have a right to want a perfect suit if someone sells you a sue this little sis aren't makeup toys you're right you want a perfect suit in a of there's no perfect chillin you go out you need to go out to go in whatever you do it's not a cure but you meet and you seek give all together some value my value - it's a perfect husband then you hear part of the big picture and it was three years old he had a growth okay but he's perfectly healthy had you heard that originally you would never consider it you know let me start with something is perfect but now you see that's the sir nullified that's all he does only to start when a person hears it right away he won't even look into it when he starts and sees the my list then it's a perfect jitter that's why it's not a magnetized and that's why meeting sometimes is really a good insight into the to quality of a person I know parents those anchors and the smart people they told that son to meet a girl who was two years older than him now today one of the son you know the age problem which is like so exaggerated and they didn't tell their son until he's about to get engaged and today they're happily married Pomerance Tomi says what's two years that she's older in a sea of many many happy years well this couple are in the sea of many happy years because the parents had the foresight to let them to let the boys see the girl without the quota Catherine and they live happily ever after so therefore it's it is a service it's not a disservice to conceal some information that really has no impact on the marriage but would be a torpedo for the whole surf all over the whole Shiva let them meet they have the big picture and then you know that the Suren is pretty minor compared to the - hi why don't you conceal the information entirely so that granted the safer to see them a tough cover Zion he says you shouldn't conceal a mum because people wake up and they find out and say Mecca toys now he's talking about a real historian but it's just not practical to have a concern that you know and never tell the other person till they find out they'll be resentful about you about from the hood how could you not tell me but if they're told in the right time so now it's a factor amongst many other factors then they hopefully will be in the sea of many happy years of marriage and then the concern is not as major as its both as they make it if you want to see in even much bigger fish the stipple and killer C aqua even the new Prince e of Amoz mem valid has a much more serious concern I in Chum and if you're gonna talk about if you're gonna speak about the viscera the boy will never get married so the steigler also says don't say the discern and he says very similar to what we said a little less than we said but what he says is that nobody is perfect and if he has other mindless that outweighs the kasoori and it's not a matter of choice I assume we're saying is more easy to understand the kisara is just something that sounds worse than it is but if you know again if you know medically there is no chance of recurrence and it's just a fact that scares people off you know some people hear a word they don't know what means but they rather they postulate you know Michael again because they're scared but once you know that it's under control keep it quiet until they meet until they pretty close and then it's their decision if you add this is another eight subscriber if you know of a person that has a certain issue and they're gonna you were given as a reference so AIT's a type of find out in advance pull the rough tell them the story as it is let the rub advise you what to say because when some of calls against talking you start to say now stuttering and stammering it's a giveaway call in advance and make sure that you know what to say just once told me he said he said this in a share once in a while later he says you know in a state and he told the people that if you have a problem just say I can't talk to the baby's crying I'll call you back so wild lady met one of the balla bathroom bosses Oh Rob you got me into trouble signals what do I do I followed your advice someone asked information I said the baby's crying I can't talk to you so the caller says y'all see you've married off your children ten years ago who what babies crying so you have to use a valid excuse not some Banaras but you have to have your noosa ready of petoria that would be your response someone once asked mayor Sheila about a certain person and we both agreed that the concern would not impact the happiness of their marriage I said you really can't say the information so the person says but if it would be my daughter in this matter boy it would be my daughter I would want to know this information I said you're right but if the boy would be your boy would you want everybody to know that information that will ruin everything that he has now that's really the crux of the issue we as information providers have two lives that the boy is a girl and we have to make a decision who's wrong and who's right now loved Africa Ruan but who has the concern who else does that concern but if it's not a real pasaron you're gonna ruin this isn't unnecessarily myoma hi me hi there's two lives and we have to juggle both if it's a Wilk asaram you have to say even if it's no fault of that person person as an illness you know they're going in inflation is the tough call failure Alif says a person can be a relative even though he's innocent though oh but maybe I can be arrived if so but once you identify someone as a pasar and they are quote to write it but if the question of a pasaron that doesn't impact the marriage that you don't have to say some times we we try to get information and basically we can't get anywhere because you know people don't give us a time of the day if I send the raw the receiver to ask information he'll get a better picture can I send us we have to find that information for me so this is mama shall Vesuvio because Lamesa if I could get the information myself why get the rough involved why get another pair of ears hearing loss and Hara so generally why are they so Leah but if you can't get anywhere and the row of the other conscious person will get better information and that's they Ellis and that in fact is motive the same that we spoke applies to a worker to a Caruso reporting about have rusa about a worker you should inquire you're allowed to inquire and basically the person should respond with the seven with the seven or eight precondition the MS preconditions in fact if a battalion says even if no one asks you if you see that a worker is dishonest either you should first warn him if it doesn't help you go directly you volunteer that information if Lamesa the boss will overreact and and the punish will not fit the crime then that's mazak an hour but generally people do things correctly and you allow to give the information someone once told me if it's a close relative of yours you lie to give any information why meet sorrowful light to solving now that was a finish to me because if it's not if it's wrong to give information once the heads up have time right to know how to give to a charity of closest family members no hectare of lush in her for a family so I found the source but I think it's misquoted imagine the following case a beautiful insight into the whole dynamics of toy illness someone tells you I'm going to the store to buy a set of missionaries it's a very good price $150 to the missionaries most stores charge 160 but this is a good price okay you happen to know that there's a store not far that has a ville de sale a wild sale same mission is $120 you know promotion sale can you tell this person 150 is good but you want to get a bill the bargain go there so from the hub Italian you're looking for fearless test cough zalien from the whole time is come out in the florists you can say anything if the store is overcharging you have to say because you're wrong don't judge if the person asks you point-blank where could I get the best price you have to say but if he's go to the store and he's happily buying at a fair price you know of the sale price you can't tell them don't buy there go to the sale price I like samehada Maria ho there it's a very pushes you're gonna save your friend money but you're gonna lose you can make the storekeeper lose a fair price a fear the fear of sale my own behind me huh you have two lives there are two people why are you favoring him over him you know picture this you tell your friends bye don't go to that still goatest as you save $30 he goes home at night multi-sim Chloe tells his wife I save $30 at the same moment the store pick up doorkeeper comes home and tells life I have no supper tonight I didn't make a sale someone's about to buy my machine I heard something doesn't go there someone losing $30 or money about $30 my closet dumb method of symmetry in such a case where it's not mushing hard it's a deeper how magic because you're you have the question is who the preference so I saw on the safer the sea of ice crying on the tough tough cast he brings to de maras that in some cases you allow to advise someone meets Erica Lloyd to Sally this is a good morning Suba staff pave of the story about AB not mean Incubus none baisemeaux Bayes rabbi Yochanan we're a situate wage that you're giving advice to your relative but mocking chef a block a room again are you're not doing wrong you're advising someone to do a certain procedure that will save their money and affect someone else so that Demian I could understand because it's not Boston Hara it's just a question of myoma hi me hi and I decided that the pus success we've circled like the solemn I have to show priority to my relative but in a Russian horror a real Russian horror situation there's no Hector to tell rush inherit or relative if it's not justifiable question someone either asked you or tells you I'm gonna go I'm going to a certain speed sheer want to come along and you don't enjoy that speaker are you allowed to say I'm not going or advise you not to go because of the problem that you have with that speaker so the higher here if there's a problem with the speaker the person doesn't say la Hache Gotham then I've I'd be allowed to say something that's ty Ellis in fact the gomorian buffer posture and very very mysterious Gomorrah a bias says I was one that cause we have a de his punished because I because Reviva said that why are you eating the tune the bones of a bias here go to the bus to show main of rubbish here so it seems that this was only an Avila because of the cover of a buyer but it was Russian heart why not because if taka rava had a better share you could tell someone you know why you going to that is a much better shear it's been for you that's Telus that that's cavernosum Somalia so with all the preconditions you could advise someone don't go to that chair it's something wrong with the authority doesn't cover enough ground that one's better for you TLS is fine but I am does say and this is an important point to mention when you're talking about TLS make sure that it's not a subjective taste that you have you grab the like - you don't like stories and and jokes you like title so payments it's it's it's really it's it's shallow the other person falls asleep from Titan you need something stimulating because trying says what's not good for you is with the other person so if you know his need and it doesn't conform with his needs then you let us say but the point is just to pass them on because of your preference make sure it's an objective lisara not a subjective concern I should also mention and this is important talking about a mass pierrot of Russia Shiva it is a terrible availa you know you break off the the Explorer the person could get you could say I worried about a certain much fear and the person loses his connection and he told me I'll never forgive a friend of mine who is still in the system and told me a bad word about the Russia Shiva and I'm dying I see that in the receive and I can get from the receiver he would have had a tremendous unique from that goggle and they push it he severed it by saying a word you know because word stick you know it's a it's it's it's myth stomach ver al by a bad label sticks someone is talking badly about your business how are you allowed to respond are you allowed to respond so first of all verify the facts is it true could be the the mighty Sherman is also part of my teacher but could be someone saying it's not even true but let's say you verify yes he's tall he's bad-mouthing your business so I got the best aces listen to what he's saying if it's true so it's a good idea you know take Allah my sir and implement it if he's saying something bad about you and he's right so it's a you know listen to your messages the good idea but let's say it's he's doing a novel and he's the competition is and he's trying to you know discredit your business or he could get the upper hand so there's no help in the comma when there's an envelope but of course a person has to protect his business desert cave of Estados so if and when to make concern you know there's a mile of shame it's a person venomous even Mohammed I sub that's something that's of an estimable value if someone could do that Tavia a Bronco but if not and a person feels that he's threatening there's an wise advice of the Rambam the hologram ban on the I say after favors on myself and piracy addition there are bound learns ahem on the if someone is doing something doing well did something wrong to you and you can't overlook it don't just swallow it dr. Ron ban approach him and try to ask him nicely not in a provocative way but in a reconciliatory way why are you saying that why'd you do that doctor I'm bound because if you just swallow it it's gonna get worse and worse and then you end up like this is incapable of ever what's the antidote place to snub hyphae Octavia talk it out and like Americans say clear the air go over in a nice way not in an angry way because you're gonna just you know expedite amok like you say I heard you said this or did this is a true I couldn't believe it it'll say he did or he did no I'll explain it but don't just let things get from bad to worst I felt idea so if some attack it is doing something wrong you have a full right maybe it's a fear to go over and ask it was 10 - laughs but you know just to swallow it and it's not getting going away it's growing is not advice another 8 sativa when someone is doing in this mode do it has his status now let me explain when someone is upset and angry and someone's is destroying his business he's out of control he will overreact and do wrong things if someone lives with the basic Emunah that the version of fear developed in other Master move on the way I feel the kabul anima like the Morrises in yuma for no one could take what's mine novice act to establish I once saw a rough circle and a safer year of a - came the Caliphate page Club Gitmo he says you know I wouldn't turn should look like a Minami I mean him Rubin take cemented entire for destroying his business Ezra Vayne saluting says Shimon I love your office labor nefesh I know you can't take a penny of my pen OSA and other may get muqam but I have to make establish and this is my establish so we have to be out we have to go to work for stylist we have to go to dinner fish doubtless the mindler is when you're doing Elsa studless you do it with a control you won't do the wrong thing when a person is out of control of course then he does the wrong thing so yes he could do what he has to do that's a TLS and the person is magic and the person's arrived did but do it in a wise way it's advisable always to ask a shylu but when someone is a near death when some of the victim he has his voice his McGee especially said yeah anyhow calm him and he doesn't see what's right so remember the muscle you know of McDonald's we were doing something that's wrong with sham sham I and make sure that's in fact the right way to do things someone asks you the following questions they have a big apartment building and there are certain building funds dues that people have to pay and some people are always late to they put up a list of those that didn't pay their dues you know that's not an honor of being on that list you know so the Embassy is the it's a tailless and this governor sham Somalian but why don't you go to the person directly I found taco Rock a number of PI scheme discussed this question rabbi ashes quoting bazooka Cabot Incubus on the chin mem test that indeed if you go Tim's directly and he doesn't comply you ladder put up the sign those that still didn't pay after you know waiting a while the murder said think so business is capacitive and as I an olive Aleph if someone doesn't support his ex-wife and children or his children or wife and children then they'd MFR assume this Avila so if you can't get with Goodin's then you're allowed to go and put up the list but generally a list should not be put up you know and achieve right away all didn't pay you until they put that show near mr. Ellis writes you want to encourage people to come to minyan don't put up a list of who doesn't come put of all this todo who does come so both get the message the physic is is is is conveyed and of course there those are neither kids it could also get the message why am I not they're criticizing a rabbim mid-side F ker there's no name I didn't see anybody name but then again you said everybody it's like mass murder you know you say the people in this neighborhood drive recklessly or they spend wildly cuz I am rights talk in your days talking about Arab them is offering pletely or oven god i'll so the fact that you didn't mention any specific name doesn't mitigate this it increases it is an incredible Magisterium alif laam the test of a vote was going fresh sluggish and it came to a certain city and bravo said people in this city Makara from the guideth sir sluggish listened to got off his donkey bend down pick up some dirt and put it into rev oz mouth so Bravo was a little more than pleasantly surprised because what's that he says after liPuma the bernam doesn't want to hear negativity about people he didn't mention any names but he mentioned everybody the fella Yaya Tamara flushing horror rights ali-a various intensified people people speak about groups he gives the muscles sgt Ashkenazim or we could see them well let's boxer yeah whatever it is but you know just talking about its Sieber is including everybody when you have to Rama says a person's Macau let's see but yes they ask my feelings marry individual so certainly the personal touching her about its Eber you have adapt yes much smarter kids me every individual now if in the real case that is at ALS by speaking about those people others will stay away from this terrible behavior new is that there will be a hectare but generally we have to realize that but there are cloud talking about groups is not a hectare someone else how do how what do you think about so and so and the other servant is not so great so we know the how fat I am says which will be a Gomorrah if you say I don't want told about Pliny that's rich that's a violation art so what opposed to say I think we could we could say with pride we were living in an absurd aura that we could say we don't talk about people pencil about Hashem desert the rule of the idea of the world is so positive and the Meister ish dollar cook Sadiq a summer came 2000 ish and he was bent Iram and he's talking the shemish and I'm apparently about a certain group the niche looked them and said with great pain says I would love to talk about this person but that out the phenolic finished a nice way of saying you know we're above this quest to more questions what do you do when you see these posh give illness that they have these hate messages now if you don't know what possibilities is it's worse than it sounds you know Basquiat sounds better enough but it's not worse it's all these hate letters or hate posters so people know something that's a faithless up your ladder talk about it which is a Gomorrah but they don't know the end of the story comes time says epic Lhasa you're now under beam afar CIMMYT so the people putting up these hate letters or from afar scimitar doing wrong so by reading it you just perpetuating a novel so basically what people put out is not a hectare to read even though people know about it there's no heptamer far submit and generally it's full of scar so and but while we should feel again a sense of guy but it could do so out I want to to be pollute my mind my Peck later chakra Dawson with this narrow Skype and fab Esmond puts out a sieve and it's inverse reputable business trying to get some public support and they need the leverage and people have to get involved and and you could you will get involved there and asking your a Rob to the TLS but found reading letters that have no bearing on anything is something that really just lacks from our Harris how Russian an afferent carbon I think a very challenging question that we began with a daughter told the mother something in confidence don't tell taffy but the mother needs the father's help so this is something that is sacred by Eden you know the Kiwi side revealing a secret breaching confidence is a heinous crime the Morrison head unit the flour olive says how do you know that if the person dying these beds didn't and he shouldn't say well I you know favored you but the other people out voted me humbled that's Russian horror they say Allah for Allah by math club varoma higher crops on the godless side mark quotes coops opium it seems that when someone reveals a secret besides like Inglis it could also be the issue of Gilley side and look into going initially on the pasta Carla Krav Maga aside your our ppm of attacker says hi race who Dima while across global volumes shovel why because very often Gilley site is damaging talk look at the gomorian Chavez stuff from the lambda Mohammed days we who the game said this careless statement about our obscene by your I spoke about the Roman government and of course is obscene by if I in his son 13 years of his life of living in a cave that's how you look rough Lama gamma site but there's a second Gomorrah humid ophthalmic days lame or you shouldn't say what someone told you unless he gave it was just to repeat it so rashes is lame are is is a conjunction of towards Loy autumn on my sauce is more pushes the Hector is loyal a Mars organ dick as Isis organ otherwise you can say so the house kind develops a theme which is an Arif is but for now we just have to know that there are two parts of ghillie suit a ghillie say that's magic is an issue derisive Restless but Gilly say that's not magic but he wanted you should maintain confidence is a meatus casitas based on a pasta can datura are Eva's soy in regard to our question a husband and a wife don't have a right to share what was told to them and confident for someone else someone told the husband something it's not have to tell his wife now people say what it means uh what about it's like a GU fight so that's great when it comes to show and buyers live is take a goofy but it's not math there to give oversight just like mush and horror that motor to one spouse but when it comes to something that the let's see in this case the mother can handle it and it poses a danger to the daughter or to anybody or any situation you were told something in confidence a person told you that he's yes problems and I was painting a and you you're breaching this confidence by saying it but the pace can say when it's a kisara Knutson you're allowed to overlook their confidence it's it's a liaison Tusayan Dallas's even though a doctor swears there's a physician told not to reveal medical information but if he knows that someone that it's getting married and she has you know she can have children he's muscle you think about that information so the point this giveaway site is a terrible thing but if there's a justifiable TLS service or an autism elliptic and it has this person russian is motivating ellis and so to israel agroco and i've aiways should live lives of spirit solution thank you very much Sharon Smith shaming shelter for the wonderful today she is his mercy today no crime Mises finish must emote Silva's emotional lately alehsalaam every side before we say Kaddish Albus Manish Mayta day a very very important appeal the testicular didn't have a shul of Swedish tribes for many many years abortion have the manali of attempts nobody knows about it yet but people starting to find out about it they make Britain to have the work gonna make for now they have a Sunday program that trying to open our coil oh we have the Manali that came in let's give him the right physic that when he goes back to the Tara every day trying to McCartney's in the community to know that he has brothers here in America that really really care for them you can make a checks the condition based on the name of the show or the credit card machine you have a very big Mitzvah and the heaviest of attempts to start again he described metallic our brothers in the test camera cartridge politics of a given time iteration Emma our Dino Hoffman Sitka our doTERRA we are the college Amane main America has made album Ivana Smith will say the cecum of Tunisia in five minutes [Music] the cecum and a few minutes of I said please before you go out and have a headache this big mitzvah checks made foundation base on disc limits a buddy of our community [Music] Nelson [Music] first I see come see can please find your seats solution I'm saying it nicely I'm asking nicely sure so awesome secret secret move today share summation Mouse and safety most secret must find your seats thank you and now we got your attention seeking of today become tenacious there's an unusual lissa person have to get of coal miner the multitude of live in an essence 17 and 14 but there's also a fee of equally important of a samurai Maratha that basically when someone sees a cursor and awesome and real hasar in a totally objective kosarin that will either impact the marriage or impact the workmanship of the of the person that he's hiring so he has a 5th to say the accurate information it's not lush in horror it is a myth so a samurai damned rascal even if it's entails a loss of money it's not a a Suffolk Endicott nephesh but like the summit of Don record um entire team asthma we have to be concerned about someone's life and someone's money if see someone dented someone else's car and fled you have to give over the information that the person could we could reclaim his the damages but we said there are seven preconditions and we found it a ramus in the word ms3 about ms that has to be but you know not hearsay it has to be a right understanding of the problem not just your speculation has to be the fact and also it should not be exaggeration you have to try to accomplish it without saying the lesson horror say it's not for you it's not a good Shiva try to go straight to the perpetrator be macabre TLS and most important if you know won't help anyhow and don't say anything and the last is the mazak if you're magic more than you're supposed to there's no there's no help tip because now you are magic instead of being mad so and that spells ms 3 of ms we have three or four of TLS and mazik but the words are key the attorney has to be the guiding force that really gives us clarity a year is not about lost heart if need be is the micaiah mysamma atom really there's a fee of to inquire whether it's about a scissor or about a work or about a caboose or about a shear or whatever it is about a tenant is certainly a PF to find out to make sure you don't get into problems later but I love I the system should work people should give accurate information people should ask properly and s the right questions you could ask you allowed to find out the vital information but all these distractions about things that are not important what we call the negotiables should be put to decide the facts should be told not labels not you're uptight of the person but say what the person is how much he learns not big massive it's more mas that he learns this amount of hours he's he is involved and this way a person gets the more accurate picture past history that has no bearing on the future should not be disclosed if they press and they want to know everything so you should try to avoid the question but if it doesn't have any bearing on the marriage or on the relationship it really is irrelevant at times you could tell the boy and girl to meet until they see its potential and then you should give over the information so it's taken and it's within the right perspective if you cited there are two lives and we have to decide who's the right if quote-unquote who's an elder but it's not that we could favor of the other we have to do what's right you allowed to use a third party to get to being to inquire on your behalf if you can't achieve the same results very often no one talks to you but a prominent person they will give more accurate information that's considered at a Ellis you should find out about a work of a Russa etc but again do it right there is a hat them observe the light too solemn only in a limited case when it's not a real Russian heart it's just a question of priority and this gives us a sense of priority add Russia is often subjective and it's wrong to say it's no good you could say I don't like it it's it's not my taste but you'd better give over what the drush is then your feelings of how it's not to your taste if someone's bad-mouthing your business you're allowed to respond users perceive approach the person either you or spear find out what what's the story and take it as an established Evert not as someone out of control then you'll belt then you certainly do the right thing a list of those that didn't pay or that are delinquent and this so that is lost in Hara it's unnecessary you could do it by approaching the person directly talking about a Robin is more severe than a Yakut if someone asks you what to say about that person let's say with pride we don't talk about people and that's not even have a question Hiram pashka villas and all these hate letters should be discarded and Gilly site is elearn is to the rights of repeal is or it's a metres casitas when it doesn't affect anybody but both should be honored unless there's a bill TLS then you could overlook the company confidentiality that you would that you have given they give you a credit card please he's standing over the NAD door helped out the tips grow [Music]