Shavuos Deep Dive 2022

okay great so welcome everybody thank you so much for joining us and um being here for the uh one-on-one shiva's deep dive program um we're very lucky to have tonight as our guest speaker um rabbi buxtom he's the director of the love experience in greater washington dc he's the author of the four elements of an empowered life and he has a weekly podcast as well called empowered jewish living so i'm going to pass it over to rabbi buckstown thank you so much for joining us thank you thank you daniela for all of your efforts and project inspire and i'm lucky i'm lucky to be here and this really is very special everyone's getting together to learn you know in the um in the weekly account of omer and of the weekly count we know that every single week has one of the medos of hashem one of the attributes of god that are represented through the sifi road through the divine emanations the divine channels which all of hashem's energy comes into the world it's called the sphero and there's seven that correspond to seven character traits and each week we're focused on one of them and each night we also focus on one of them so every single night we're pairing together two different spheros you know it's an interesting thing like if you uh i know some of you over here are are wine connoisseurs julian i feel like you're a wine guy right you like sometimes even bring your wine on that yeah but you know so like you have a wine but if you have it together with you know your defilta fish or if you have it together with a good steak it's gonna it's gonna taste different you know i know for me like someone used to like we have a lot of shabbos guests so someone would bring over a nice bottle of wine like i'd be like okay i don't want to be rude so you know i'd open it up and make kiddush on it and then one time my brother who's like a big wine you know snob he comes and he brings this and i'm opening it up and i'm starting to pour he's like what are you doing you brought the bottle of making kiddush on it so he's like no you don't make kiddish on this wine you make kiddish on this one this one you have with the fish this one you have with the meat this one you have a dessert you know so yeah it's how when you pair two things together it brings out something different and that's why every single night of spherus omer we take different medos and we pair them together tonight it's i mean where i am now it's about 80 10 so we're a little bit of no man's land we're after minha but before marev but tonight the two spheros that we're counting are nets the week of nets and the night of hod and what netsafe is the word natsak means victory but netsach is about perseverance it's about dominance it's about pushing through it's about never stopping this non-stop this fire you know if you're a person who's a soldier has to have nets off uh you're a an athlete you're quarterback in the super bowl right you have to have a lot of nets and then the other meda the character trait of the knight that we're pairing together with that is actually the meter that's the other extreme and that is the meter of hod and hod is about being very soft hode is about flexibility the ability to listen the ability to say i'm wrong i'm sorry i admit thank you all of those things it's a very soft meda and when we have these nights like nets with hode or hodwith nets it's this pairing of these two opposite traits to show the beautiful balance right how every single person we're always trying to find the balance between these two extremes and in any conversation right if you have a conversation with someone and you have a lot of netac right if i come on here and i say god it's schmoozed in a couple of weeks and everyone has to take on to learn more because if you don't read and i can come and be fiery and that's nets or you have hoes and hoda's okay i'm coming i want to listen what do you have to say let's evaluate every person has to have a mix and even within a conversation and this is true in all relationships we're we're here tonight one-on-one learning caruso's coming together to learn torah from different backgrounds different perspectives in any conversation we're always balancing when i speak i'm in the mode of nets when i listen i'm in the mode of hold you know you're taking a long road trip you want to get there right as fast as you could don't stop right you got to go to the bathroom hold it in another 30 minutes right we got to get there we got to go let's beat the clock that's netza oh look at that on the side of the road we have a beautiful sunset let's stop and take a picture that's hold every person has to have this balance between nets and the beauty of learning torah is that when you learn torah torah is about nets it's about knowing there's an absolute truth we're trying to find the word of hashem which is truth but there's also the ability to discuss the ability to have differences of opinions a beautiful give and take that's the balance of nets so tonight our learning is going to be focused on shiva's and specifically the famous line that the jewish people say when they're offered the torah now we will do and we will listen and there's so much discussion because the gemara says that it wasn't just that they were ready to accept it but it was that they said na seven nishma there was something about that formula we will do and we will listen there's something about that that captured that captured that blend that blend of natasha and hold that blend of the ability to both be absolutely committed but also to find the space within ourselves to find our place and as we do the learning tonight i would love everyone to keep an eye a little bit on to tr really try to understand the depth of those words before we go one other thought to think about as you do your learning if i would ask anyone on this call i would say please we have schwa is coming up in two and a half weeks or three weeks whatever it is what is the day of schwes all about i think that probably everyone over here on this call would likely say and i'm gonna just view and you can nod your head if this is what you're thinking lewis is a day when we celebrate the giving or the receiving of the torah shake your head if that's what you were thinking when i said that now some people think very interesting and i'm not going to say that you're wrong but i can't fully say that you're right why because pesach is a day of celebrating yitzias mitsurayam the exodus how do i know because that's what the torah says sukis is a day about celebrating the clouds and the protection in the desert how do i know because that's what the torah says the torah does not say that we're celebrating the receiving of the torah the dates work out very well that is what happened on schluis but that's not what the torah says the torah says what is schwa is the 50th day after pesach is the completion of the counting of the omer that's what the torah says in fact the torah does not even tell me a date for schwa it just says you bring the omer you count 49 days and then we have then we celebrate we celebrate after that and the question is is a day of celebrating the receiving the giving of the torah the receiving of the torah standing at mount sinai why does the torah not say on this day you should celebrate the giving of the torah celebrate it why is the torah so secretive about the date about what it's all about sort of under the radar something to think about as you go into your learning not seven ishmael what's the depth of those words what is the essence of the day of schwa and how might that connect and we'll meet once again on the other side after you're learning okay thank you so much robert buxbaum we're gonna send everybody to their zoom rooms now to do your um learning with the material that i emailed out to you i will put a link here in the chat box if anybody needs it something very very interesting very unusual that we find in the torah and that is when hashem is telling the jewish people inviting them come to mount sinai you're going to receive the torah it's going to be so exciting all this amazing stuff wonderful stuff is going to happen you're going to receive the torah you're going to be going you're going to be a holy nation and then suddenly the tone changes and hashem gets very strict and suddenly hashem says but by the way don't come on to the mountain don't step onto the mountain and then hashem repeats it hashem says it again and then a few verses later hashem's telling moshe i'm saying by the way go back to the jews you won't tell them don't come on the mountain emphasis upon emphasis on not coming onto the mountain like it's almost like hashem i can't move on you know from this thing again and again don't come on the mountain and what is this emphasis what is this emphasis why so many times why this constant repetition of not coming on the mountain and then when it comes time finally when it comes to that moment of matan torah that moment of receiving the torah hashem comes down hashem descends onto the mountain and there's a wonderful message over there because for many of us we like to think that if i wake up in the morning if i follow the game plan hashem i dabbed when you told me to dive in i kept shabbos when you told me to keep shabbos i did i followed the plan exactly so new let's go pay up right i'm ready i'm ready to start vibing spiritually i'm ready to feel i'm ready for the mocha the godless expanded consciousness right i'm ready for my major trip like here we go and suddenly you don't feel it suddenly you feel let down suddenly you feel like you were lied to what what were those rabbis talking about what was it what's what's happening what am i doing wrong where did i do something wrong and hashem is communicating something when hashem says don't come onto the mountain what hashem is saying is all i'm asking you to do is go ahead and do your best do what you can do as best as you can do the mitzvos do the mitzvos talk to me talk to me and sometimes you're just not gonna feel anything don't think that it's like one plus one equals two don't feel like you're going to put in the little html code and then suddenly wait because when i feel it's the right time for your hamilah i'll come down and it's gonna be amazing it's gonna be beautiful it's gonna be totally worth it for you you're going to see but that's my program that's not your program you just have to do what you have to do then be patient and be open and let go of attachment to what you think the outcome should be you know it's interesting when we come to the holidays lewis so i asked a question earlier i said why is it why does the torah not say on the 50th day or on the sixth day of seven let's celebrate receiving the torah the torah doesn't say that the torah says count every single day do a little bit do what you can and then show up at mount sinai just show up there that's all i'm asking you to do and wait there and then eventually i'll come down on the mountain when i'm ready and i'll find you and i want to point something very interesting out something else that's unusual about you lewis you know there's no mitzvahs in the torah for schweiz right did you ever notice that pesach and rosh hashanah you blow the chauffeur and circus you sit in the sukkah and everything has shoeless doesn't happen what does shivohuis have only customs only minhagen and i think that we know schwarz by probably four main minhagen what are they you know i want to call out what's one one minute that you feel and you think you're sure as you think about this midnight what do you think of cheesecake cheesecake all right who said that uh room 18 edna ritz right and the ritz right cheesecake awesome what else learning all night leia says on the side that's two flowers flowers number three and fourth one there are some others but the fourth main one reading the book of of reading the book of rose exactly now when our sages put together a group of customs not only our sages but the capitalists over the course right these customs come from different times there's got to be a theme it kind of seems a little random okay let's learn all night and then let's have cheesecake and then read the book of rose and you know what throw in some flowers why not you know just make it make it like there has to be a theme so what is the connection between all of these things and there are several there's not just one there are several but i want to offer one approach perhaps let's begin with dairy because that's maybe a little bit the most esoteric there's a lot of reasons why we eat dairy many many reasons one of those several reasons are because of the numerical value anyone here into gematria i'm a big fan of i love gemachia some people are like oh come on i could have come up with that but you couldn't but some of them are really like some of them are really really uh wonderful so over here milk in hebrew is right is eight put it in the chat someone keep someone keep track right number twenty i love it um is eight lamid is thirty phase is two and my tells me that that equals 40. 40 is a magic number by the way do we have 40 rooms is anyone here in room 40 no we don't it doesn't get up to that high but 40 we know in the torah 40 is always a number of transition and rebirth mikvah has 40 sa in it 40 measurements in it of water because we go in and we have a complete rebirth transformation a woman who's impure comes out pure a man who had a ritual impurity comes out pure a convert goes in and comes out a jew it rained by the marble 40 days in order to purify the world the jewish people stood at mount sinai waiting for moshe to come back because they were undergoing a transformation they wandered in the desert for 40 years to try to achieve this level to be able to enter into israel so 40 is the time of complete transformation now we'll get back to that in a moment the book of r of ruth of rus why do we read it again lots of different explanations but one thing that's interesting about the book of ruth aside from the fact that she's probably the most prominent convert the jewish people ever had she's also the mother of or the great grandmother right of david hamel king david the beginning of the davidic dynasty which eventually is the lineage of mashiach right so that means that there is something messianic there's something connected to mashiach about schwas as well as is in a way the beginning of the process of bringing out meshiach and by the way it's no coincidence who brings down the torah on moshe beginning with a mem which is numerical value 40 ultimately leading the end of time the redeemer is going to be meshiach also with the 40 and by the way it's also mordechai and matasya who coin god is always always with the men so over here we have rus showing that is connected to the times of mashiach now perhaps perhaps over here the whole idea behind shuis remember the theme of is come up to the mountain and wait wait until the time is right and it might be so hard to wait but you just have to do what you have to do just show up and eventually if you're patient it'll happen right mashiach there's no there's there's nothing more that we can i mean we're here we are year 5 7 82 and we've been through it we've literally been through the wringer we've done everything we're years and years we're fighting we're still here for 45 of us here tonight learning there's no reason why there should be a jew left on the planet and yet here we are and we rebuild and we rebuild and we rebuild and we're like hashem seriously like have we not done enough yet like higi is none hashem says don't come onto the mountain just wait around the mountain i'm coming and very soon is gematria 40 because 40 is the is the process it's the process of transformation that we're going through it's a process 40 once again is is motion it's it's mashiach let's think about the other customs that there are flowers and so flowers are beautiful but what do we know about flowers hazorim bedima purina you have to plant with schwitz with tears right trusty i have this it's driving me bananas i have this patch of barren land in my backyard great grass and then this one part where it's just a big pile of mud and i'm like poor i'm telling you i pour seeds and i sit there with the hose and like any time any of my kids go near there right i'm like oh don't go near you're going to step on what might be a little blade and then like this could be a little grass coming like boing you know and like a bird cross for some should fly in it and i'm sitting there like shooting your shotgun like don't come near my one blade again it takes time and what here when you have a bouquet of flowers if you think about what went into it a seed had to go into the ground and rot and you sat and you waited and suddenly it turned into something beautiful but it's the process it focuses on the process all you can do is plant all you can do is plant and water and wait and wait until it happens and then finally all night learning if any of you know and again shout out to daniella she's in israel now it's 4 30 in the morning where she is she's it's going to be right she's she stayed up all night for this which is awesome round of applause right but we know that shmuis right i if anyone thinks we stay up all night screw us because that's the way we get the most learning in way off right you stay up all night and then you like zonk for the next two days you can't even keep your your head up by the meal right productivity wise not a good game plan yet hashem says stay up all night learning why because there's this moment you know i used to i had the privilege i learned in israel i don't know if you've ever been to in for sure in israel and sometimes some certain years when it came towards the morning we would go to the hotel and after this night of learning we're tired and we're fighting to stay awake and then we start walking towards the hotel and the sun starts to rise and the birds start to chirp and we're like the night is over the morning is here and once again we have a civilian we have a sign of a process happening we're learning all night to show that that's what we have to do we just have to show up and do our thing and if we stay the course no matter how dark it gets the morning will come the flowers will bloom mashiach will come i will be drinking coffee together milk another milk plan right the coffee's always for me a sign of redemption all of this will come together the jewish people say na a seven ishma and hashem says wow they figured it out because everybody else said nisba nasa hashem you show up first tell us what it's about and then you'll set us on on course right and hashem says only the jewish people realize it's nasa it's nasa it's nasa stay the course do what you got to do stick to your guns you don't feel it you're not connecting you're confused you feel like hashem abandon you stick to the course just do it do it do it and you'll see eventually nishma you'll hear the the the the kohatur nishma biatsenu yeah you'll hear the sound of coming and perhaps that is the message of louis that's what we're trying to to to connect with schwarz yeshua seems out of reach the torah doesn't say it's the day of matantora the torah says it's a day of showing up and saying hashem i am down i'm committed i am here hiney and whenever you decide is the right time for me to feel it the right time for us to merit that redemption we will be right here at our sinai waiting for you so i appreciate all of you coming on we'll end over here thank you so much and uh let's keep in touch thanks so much everybody thank you everybody you're very support welcome you thank you thank you very much everybody thank you that was a beautiful summer beautiful wrap-up thank you thank you everyone thank you very much good night goodbye have a good