Shalom: Achieving Ultimate "Peace" - Rabbi Meyer Yedid

[Music] there's something that I believe everybody here everyone in the world wants and that's a baraja better hot blessings blessings means success blessings mean sim ha happiness what we would do for grata but we would do for a year of Baraka coming up a better car with our wives with our husbands but I found with our children but I found with our partners a better car with our parents success in everything we touch what value is that we all want better hood well ha ha Meem tell us that better court are actually something that Hashem has in store for us Hashem perhaps is showering us with better hood but sometimes we don't feel them sometimes we feel like there's something missing in my life why am I not succeeding with my children why not in my marriage why not in my business why not am i learning I feel there's no barakah i rabbi's tell us that there is a need for a Kelly for a receptacle just like good wine person who loves wine they give him a big barrel of good wine and he's ready to take some home he takes a few bottles and as he puts the wine in the bottles he realizes there's a hole in the bottles and everything he puts in goes right through beautiful great wine worthless without a bottle Hashem is giving us better caught blessings all the time but if we don't have good bottles to receive those blessings we will feel as if there is no blessings we are these bottles that catch better hot where do they sell them so unfortunately do not for sale unfortunately you can't pay any amount of money for them but fortunately they're available to every single person haha meme tell us that this bottle is called Shalom Shalom is that bottle that holds better hot if you have Shalom with your wife you have Shalom with your children you have success in your home you have Shalom in your relationships you have better hot coming to you you have Shalom in your yeshiva you have Shalom with your parents Shalom is the bottle that holds blessings a person without Shalom is a broken bottle no one person by himself can receive paratha without Shalom in his relationships what is Shalom so I know we all know what Shalom is it's maybe the most popular Hebrew word but I think the translation is very different than what we used to I'm sure all of you are gonna say Shalom means peace when I have peace Shalom buy it a peaceful home and I think that's precisely where the problem begins that the word Shalom gets lost in the translation Shalom does not mean peace the word peace means in English a lack of conflict when two countries live next to each other and they don't fight it's considered peaceful however Shalom is not peace if you would walk into somebody's house and the husband and wife don't make any noise nobody's talking nobody's screaming this is not called Shalom by it it may be peaceful but it's not Shalom by it last week I was in Israel and I visited my father I loved a Shalom at the cemetery it was maybe 7:30 at night and I could tell you was the most peaceful place nobody was talking to each other no one was fighting it's quiet peaceful is there Shalom in a cemetery no so that word peace has to be deleted very quickly what is Shalom if we expect to get better caught we need it but we have to know what it is Shalom comes from the word Shalom Shalom means to be complete to be complete means that by myself I am broken I have a hole in my bottle and my wife my children my parents my friends are going to complete me and I am going to complete them it's an active process a proactive rises Shalom will bring barakah how does a person bring Shalom into their relationships so before I tell you that I want to tell you about another famous thing that you all know for care of what you've learned it from we've all learned it from probably kindergarten AHA Rona Cohen oh hey if Shalom vero deaf Shalom what was unique about Aharon he loved and appreciated Shalom I think all of us are or have shovel there's not one person in this room that would not say vote for ohev Shalom who thinks that a house without Shalom can succeed who thinks that any relationship without Shalom can succeed we are all our wish alone but what makes our own unique was not to have Shalom it's the valve that comes after vero death Shalom what is the word road death mean in Hebrew road if not run chase this table if I was running towards this table would I be called Road F no because the table is waiting for me if somebody's coming towards me and I run towards them and I meet them is that cold road F no when do you use the word road if when there's something that's running away from me and I chase after it this is called a road f what does that have to do with Shalom why is a Harold F Shalom who's running away the answer is a very important principle that you don't have to be a bad person not to have Shalom in your life you don't have to do anything wrong not to have Shalom in your life actually Shalom is running away from you so if you do nothing you get married and you do nothing wrong Shalom slowly we'll be running away from you and you can't believe over a short period what happened to your Shalom you did nothing wrong I did so well with my children I'm so good to my friends I did nothing wrong why is there no Shalom but I don't understood this unbelievable amazing principle you don't have to be a bad person not to have Shalom actually Shalom is always running away from you you better chase after it because if you don't chase after it it'll be gone where do we go for advice in this area we all want sure long we all need better hot especially Rosh Hashanah is coming I'd like to take you to put him Magilla Estelle if somebody here came up and asked all these people these wonderful people in this room and says Robert I could you give me the essence of the story of McGee like I said everybody knows the story what is the essence of this story I know probably most of us would say haschke ha ha shams and we would say the duty of the Jewish people we would have a number of things that I believe we would all say do you know what the authors of the Megillah said about their story you know what they call this Megillah Mordecai and Esther said this Magilla is called devera Shalom the flesh alone where is their Shalom in the story of Purim but clearly the message is you know how the Jewish people got the Baraka on pudding you know how Mordecai and Esther succeeded you read the story you saw the success but you know what's behind all of that you know what was the battle that held all of that they could be a pudding story in our lives right now but perhaps we don't have the bottle Mordecai and Esther had the bottle and it's this bottle that brought success for themselves and the Jewish people where do we see Shalom in the Megillah I'd like to appoint a few places first of all hadn't Mordecai end up in Shushan Habra so the Megillah says he went into exile Mordecai is the Gedaliah daughter he was the greatest sage of that generation he was in Yerushalayim living as the Godot lador should live with all his students I'm sure were great covered yet he went into exile to shushanna birra can you imagine - there crying can I have ski shelita gets up out of there brand goes to live in some small town in America and everyone is wondering what happened so we think the story is that he was forced to go there but that's not what the Gomera says the guy Moran Magilla says that he went on his own nobody forced him why would he go on his own the camera does not explain but the târgu makes planes he went on his own because his cousin a little girl Esther lost her father and and there was no one to take care of him and I guess she couldn't go to him say he left everything behind he sacrificed his family his home his even spirituality he left to go take care of this cousin I think that's the first step I don't know if its first but an important one in every relationship of Shalom at the foundation there's something called sacrifice if a person wants Shalom with his family's wife a husband they need to be sacrifice sacrifice of time sacrifice of money sacrifice of wisdom sacrifice of anything a person can give you know when it's comfortable in the house and things are going well we are the best husband's with the best wives and then something comes up that I don't want to do and it's that moment that I start to check out but shalom by it says it's specifically that moment that creates Shalom the Shalom of Mordecai and Esther was built on sacrifice you want to be a great teacher a great Rebbe you want to reach your students it's not in the class it's not when things are supposed to happen it's when something goes wrong it's when this it's when your student didn't show off to school and you call him up and he says and down I'm not doing well and you take out of your time and you go to that boy's house and you sit with him for two or three hours this is what builds Shalom and the Bharath I will soon come you built Shalom would sacrifice like the gray Renaissance V Finkel zealots a de Guevara ha who at the time of missiles raining upon the Arusha line and sirens go off and everybody's going into their safe place in their house he would leave his house to go be with the students in the yeshiva that's how you create Shalom korben korben means sacrifice Korriban means karov means to be close you only can become complete with another when you're ready to sacrifice so when the situation comes up and there's something you don't want to do and there's something you don't want to give remember this is the opportunity for Shalom in the Megillah we see when Estelle has been against her will taken into this beautiful building I imagine of most beautiful beauty parlor that a woman could imagine probably most woman's dream one full year of beauty every woman there is excited to go and of course not a stare it says in the Megillah that Mordechai this giant there of cryin collapse key of the generation be wholly owned by own every single day he goes to visit to see how is there is doing what could he possibly do how can he possibly help she wants out but he can't help and she's safe what is he going for there's something in Judaism called no save it all in Xavier oh it means to identify with somebody else's pain to identify someone else's happiness many of us don't feel comfortable to visit someone who's down someone who's sick someone in the hospital someone in this chief are loyal in we don't feel comfortable we say to ourselves what are we gonna help what are you gonna say feel better it's okay don't worry it's gonna be fine it sounds so empty so silly but the truth is those are empty words that's not what the person needs person goes to hospital or visit someone who's that well you know what you say you say this must be so hard for you I can't believe how you're coping with this how are you doing that that might sound like a reminder of his problems but in Judaism we say no that's helping them carry the load the box is a hundred pounds and you just took 50 pounds off you're carrying it with them they feel that someone feels their pain that's more precious than anything you could say or do one more that I want to see how Esther is doing he was just identifying with her pain he said I'm with you I'm thinking about you that's how Shalom is created in a house when you see a husband is down you say what's wrong when you see your children are having a hard day you identify with them and even if they have to be punished for something but you identify with them you say I understand this is what you want I understand it's hard for you I appreciate it you could even cry it was a great man that before he would give his son any kind of punishment he would stop and he would say let shame erode he would say I love you so much and he was taught to cry I'm doing this because I have a mitzvah to help you so identify what someone could be in all situations that great rabbi again or of Knussen's via a woman once came to him a woman that was diagnosed with terminal illness and she came to the rabbi for a bracha for advice and the rabbi was so ill was so sick he couldn't even talk and he communicated with her somehow that he wasn't able to talk to her or give her any blessings he couldn't read Dalene for her he told her be known as something I could do while you say to healing I'll listen and while you say Tehillim i will cry and that's what happened the woman is saying daily and the rabbi's cry what possible benefit could that bring the woman writes that after all of her ordeals all the people that she met friends family rabbis the most uplifting moment was the moment where the rabbi who was crying when she was reading to healing he didn't bless her he didn't make her feel better he did nothing he did something greater than all of that he was no sad bear all in ha there oh I feel your pain that's how you create Shalom in a house when someone is down or someone is happy share it ask them to share it with your friends the same barajas coming to such a vessel be fine in the Megillah that Mordecai was made known he knew about a plan a plot to poison the king a very very valuable piece of information that information could make you wealthy that information can make you powerful the PASOK says via godless Terra Malka he told Estelle about what he knew and then the Megillah says vato Mayer Esther lamella Bechet Mordecai Esther said it to the king in the name of Mordecai why when Mordecai told esterases V again why not but biyomon a rabbis explained because one Mordecai told Estelle he told her for her - no not for her to tell the King on his behalf he wanted her to get the credit he wanted the spotlight to shine on her not him but instead she did exact opposite she wanted the spotlight on Mordecai a relationship of Shalom is when you put the other person ahead it may seem to us that when we put others ahead that we're losing that's where peace or Shalom is running away from us it's not true when we put others ahead we are gaining we are gaining limit sometimes I'm asked this question how do you build self-esteem of young children you know how you build it he teach them to give you teach them to be good friends you teach them to identify with others you teach them to sacrifice for others you teach them to put others ahead of them that may seem like the opposite of self esteem but it's not that's how you build it because the more you do for others and the more you have Shalom in your life the more better hire you have in your life always do for others when you can put your children ahead of you if you're a great rabbi you're a great teacher don't say the answer yourself figure out how they're gonna say the answer don't give a great lesson make sure the lesson comes from them that's a great teacher a great rabbi a great friend is someone who looks always to talk good about his friend a great wife wants husband always to be on top when his name comes up it's in lights a great husband wants his wife to get always the credit not like the ugly jokes that people make when speaking about marriage someone else she has your marriage said my wife is the savior of my life and my husband without him I would be nothing how many wives answer that how many husbands answer that but that's what it's gonna take to bring Shalom into a house you need sacrifice it needs identification and it needs putting others ahead it's that way in a home it's that way with parents it's that way with children we want to see success with our children we're gonna need to sacrifice our time our money and all that we can for them then we will be a receptacle of Bihar this coming Rosh Hashana is a time where Hashem is giving out all the benefit and we have plenty of better hot we just need to make ourselves whole we need Shalom it's a privilege to be here with you tonight it's a privilege to be here speaking at a convention of EDA Brut actually I was by the headquarters of Heda bruton Petach Tikva last week and I know a little bit about he doubled but I couldn't imagine the scope the size of this unbelievable organization that's reaching people all over the world in so many ways and taking care of the cloud of the communities around the world at the same time not forgetting the Pratt not forgetting the individual reaching girls who are stuck with Arabs reaching individuals that need help to bring them close attach them reaching halo name that never heard about you my Israel reaching is used not only in Israel but in America and now that we have a new high end data a new road to reach American speakers it's such a unbelievable organization I feel it's a privilege they asked me if I can come speak the truth is my time is limited but if I hear he's a brute I say if I don't speak for these people who else would I speak for people who are literally changing the face of Judaism around the world Thank You EDA brute thank you all for your time I wish you all a wonderful Shanah Tovah school innumerable [Music]