Shabbos story

Several weeks ago, we had an inreach chabatone at BGX for Yidden who grew up for him but sadly are no longer on the Derek. It was 2 and a half minutes before this month. I was ready in the middle of Davening when suddenly a young man approached me. He looked very anxious and he said to me, "Revy, do you have a cigarette?" I said, "No, I'm sorry. I don't. I'm the least likely person to have a cigarette in the world." He said, "Was there anybody here that has a cigarette? I need a cigarette." I said, "I don't think so." Somehow he was able to procure a cigarette in the nick of time. And I saw that he was puffing away outside on Avenue K right before Chabus. Very strange to me. Later that evening in the middle of the suda, this fellow comes over to me. He says, "Rebby, you probably think, what was the guy thinking? What was this about? Why do you need a cigarette?" Minute before Shabas. He says, "You know, I struggle with shop observance. I haven't been showing Shabas in a long time. Recently, I made the decision to start keeping Shabas, but it's really hard. I needed the last puff so I could separate from the cigarette for 25 hours. And then I keep Shabas for me. The world stopped. I felt like I was looking at Santic. And if it wasn't Shabas, I would have gone outside to Avenue K, looked for the ashes from the cigarette, took those ashes, put it in a bottle, and sent it off to Shamayim with a letter. Dear, these ashes are pure and holy. It comes from somebody who is it comes from somebody who was able to resist, who was able to withhold. Somebody who was able to refrain. You know what? Each and every one of us, it may be that 1 minute, half a minute, 10 seconds of not looking at something inappropriate could be just as hard as holding back from that cigarette for 25 hours. But the first avoida in the base of miglish every single day the very first avoida was menial and degrading was disposing of the ashes from the carbon that was burnt the day before and yet the kahan they competed they fought over the why isn't it belittling isn't it disparaging says because those ashes that were burnt they were holy they came from somebody who faced sin who faced temptation and said, "I've come. That's enough. It's a new day, a new dawn, a new beginning, a new reality. Those ashes are pure." And that's why the quantum fort over disposing of these holy ashes. When you want to do something, you stop. You take those ashes and you give it to the give it to a in a bottle and say, "Let this be a kapura. Let this be an atonement for me, for claw Israel, for my family. Because I could have, I would have, I should have, I might, I stopped. I was I even This is my gift. These ashes are yours. Just like the ashes from the last puff. You could do it.